Not Unbreakable
by LadyAnalyn
Summary: AUch56: They were all staring at Cadfael just as he was staring at them. He knew who each one was even though eight years had passed.He looked around the room and then his eyes rested on his eldest child "Seriously Junior, you haven't changed anything in here? Well the computer's new I reckon and what is that?" NEW CHAPTER!
1. Breakdown

**This chapter was originally posted in June of 08, it is now October 09 and I have decided to change a couple of things to fit better with how things have progressed in the story.**

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Ianto couldn't sleep. Jack had told them all to go home, take a few days to recuperate—he would call them if it was anything more than a stray weevil. But Ianto couldn't sleep; he didn't even want to turn off the lights. He knew he was being silly and childish but he couldn't help it. The cannibals kept invading his dreams and nightmares of Canary Wharf started to return as well. Then the memories would combine into something so dreadful Ianto couldn't put it into words. Even with every light in his flat on he'd see things out of the corner of his eye, jump at every sound. So he just stayed huddled on his couch surfing through the many channels his satellite provided, staying well away from any horror movies. He avoided going to the bathroom as much as he could but when he couldn't stand it any longer he threw down the remote not noticing what channel was on and ran (with his gun at the ready) to the loo. While he was drying his hands he heard the theme to "Deliverance" and he froze. The rational part of his mind must have known it was only the TV but he was suffering from lack of sleep and emotional turmoil so he couldn't exactly hear the rational part of his mind. He panicked and sank to the floor, knees drawn up to his chest. He took out his mobile which he had made sure to keep with him at all times and called Jack.

After a few rings, he answered "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Captain" Ianto's voice shook

"Ianto? What's wrong?"

"I think…I think there's something in my flat…something" he couldn't help it anymore, he started to cry "Banjo…Jack…I…there's…God, Jack…I can't sleep…please Jack, cybermen, daleks and cannibals everywhere."

…

All Jack was able to decipher was "banjo", "cybermen", "daleks" and what sounded like "cannon balls". But he figured Ianto probably meant "cannibals". "All right, Ianto just calm down. I'm going to put the phone down while I get dressed and then I'll be on my way. Stay on the line." Jack was worried; Ianto hadn't lost it like this since the Lisa incident.

"Please hurry"

"I will" Jack set the phone down and threw on his sweats and a t-shirt and the trainers that he never wore and his coat. He picked up the phone again "Okay, Ianto I'm on my way. Where are you?"

"In…in the bathroom"

"All right, stay there…" the line went dead. Jack hoped Ianto just had a low battery.

He made it to Ianto's flat in record time, worrying constantly about the young Welshman's sanity. Ianto hadn't been the same since the Lisa incident and Jack feared that the country incident sent him over the edge—unless, there really were cybermen, daleks and cannibals playing the banjo in his flat. He kicked open the door to be greeted by bright lights and an American advert for mouthwash.

He closed the door as much as he could with the locks now broken and looked around. There were in fact no cybermen, daleks and cannibals having a banjo jam session, though that might have been amusing. The TV was loud; surely Ianto could hear that Listerine whitens teeth? Seconds later the horror film "Deliverance" appeared on the screen. It all clicked for Jack. He didn't even bother checking the rest of the flat because he knew he wouldn't find anything. He turned off the TV and went to find Ianto.

He figured as he'd never been there before, that the bathroom must be behind the only closed door. Sure enough he could hear violent sobbing coming from within. The door was locked though.

"Ianto" he called "Ianto, it's Jack. Open the door, there's no one else here. The banjo was on the TV. Come on Ianto; don't make me break this door too."

The door opened revealing Ianto on his knees, eyes and cheeks red and wet. He choked back his sobs and sniffled "Did you break my front door?" he said in a small voice making him sound like a five year old. The Scooby-Doo nightshirt made him look like one.

Jack's heart melted; Ianto was awful cute when he was pitiful. Of course, he was always awfully cute. Jack got on his own knees and took Ianto in his arms "I'll fix it, don't worry. Now, what were you doing watching a movie like "Deliverance" after what happened?"

Ianto clung to him for dear life "but I wasn't watching sir…I was flipping channels and I had to use the loo."

Jack rubbed circles on his back "Well, it's okay Ianto, it's all okay now. Why are you awake anyway? It's past midnight, you should be resting."

"Can't sleep," came the muffled reply; Ianto buried his face into the space where Jack's neck connected with his shoulder "They're everywhere."

"No they're not, Ianto" Jack said soothingly "Nothing's going to get you. I'm here now, don't worry."

Ianto pulled away a little and looked into Jack's eyes "I'm sorry"

"For what?"

"Everything" he sniffled "I don't think I ever really apologised for…"

Jack put a finger to Ianto's lips "Shhh, it's in the past now and I've forgiven you. I understand."

"You should have killed me"

"No, you were in love Ianto, I understand, really I do. Besides, I could never kill you. Now, please stop dwelling" he pulled Ianto close again, strongly resisting the urge to kiss him "It seems to me that you have all the lights on"

Ianto nestled into his shoulder again "Too many shadows in the dark"

"You need to sleep though"

"Mmph, you smell so good…nothing else like it on earth."

"Your electricity bill's gonna be murder."

"You're so gorgeous, did you know that?"

"I'm gonna need you in top condition when you get back to work in a few days."

Ianto didn't respond, he was breathing deeply and evenly. He had fallen fast asleep. Jack leaned him against the wall while he stood up. He then carried Ianto to the bedroom, set him down and pulled a blanket over him. On a whim he looked in the trunk at the foot of the bed. In it was a worn looking stuffed red dragon. Jack took it out and placed it in the crook of Ianto's arm.

"I imagine he'll keep you safe while I turn off the lights" he whispered

As he went through the flat he thought about what Ianto had said as he was falling asleep. Was Ianto attracted to him? Sure, whenever Jack flirted with him, he'd flirt back. But did that mean anything? Jack prided himself on his ability to read people. He could read anyone save two, one was the Doctor, and the other was Ianto. He knew and accepted why he couldn't read the Doctor—no one could after all. But he had no idea why he couldn't read Ianto. The young man fascinated him and confused him—Jack hated being confused. Ianto, like Jack played his cards close to his chest revealing so little and when he did, it caught the others off guard. Jack knew everything about Ianto that was on file but as Ianto implied during the Lisa incident Jack really knew very little about the boy.

He knew that Ianto Jones was born on August nineteenth, 1983. He knew that he was the youngest of ten, the youngest brother of one of Jack's rare outside Torchwood friends. Gwillym Jones of course had no idea that his baby brother worked with Jack and Ianto didn't know Jack knew Gwillym. Maybe he should tell him. When Ianto was fifteen his father died and he was put in the custody of his eldest brother—their mother had vanished when Ianto was two. A year later Ianto left home, why Jack didn't know. Ianto had been an adequate student but not brilliant. Lately though, Jack had been suspecting that Ianto just didn't bother with homework (the man was a freakin' human calculator). He had shop lifted once before his father died but got away with a slap on the wrist Jack reckoned it was because he looked all cute and innocent. After he left home he drifted till Torchwood One recruited him—why they did Jack wasn't sure. The kid didn't even have his A Levels and his O Levels could have been better.

The most important thing Jack knew about Ianto was that he was the grandson and looked just like one of the greatest friends Jack had ever had. Jack of course couldn't tell this to Ianto. Could he? He'd known Ianto's mother too but had no idea what had happened to her.

Jack checked the door; it was just the locks that were broken "Times like these, a sonic screwdriver would really come in handy. Doctor, I'll never badmouth that thing again." He moved a chair in front of it, deciding to stay till morning in case Ianto had a nightmare. He went back to Ianto's room, watched him a moment _Damn, he's beautiful when he sleeps, ah hell he's beautiful all the time_. He placed a kiss on his forehead, turned off the light and settled himself in Ianto's desk chair as tempted as he was to crawl into bed with him.

…

When Ianto woke the next morning he felt extremely groggy. The first thing he noticed upon opening his sleep encrusted eyes was that he was in bed and the bright morning light was shining through his curtains. He sat up and rubbed his eyes and then he saw that his toy dragon, Gwyddion was in bed next to him. It was odd because Ianto usually kept the twenty-three year old toy in his trunk and only took him out when Ianto was feeling depressed or especially nostalgic.

"How'd you get here?" he spoke in Welsh to the dragon since it was a Welsh dragon and it was the first language to come out of his mouth when he woke up in the mornings. "You were in the trunk. Oh well, I'm glad to see you anyway." He hugged the dragon close. Then he smelled cooking eggs and it was then he remembered last night. He ran to the kitchen to find Jack standing at the stove.

"Good morning" Jack said cheerily, "feeling better?"

Ianto nodded "Bore da"

Jack poured some coffee into a mug "Want some?" He walked over to Ianto and held out the coffee.

Ianto nodded and took the mug, the taste was bitter but one sip was enough to get him back into English-speaking mode. "Your coffee sucks, sir."

Jack shrugged "Compared to yours, anybody's coffee sucks and nix on the sir business." Jack pointed at the dragon, which Ianto had forgot he still held "Does it have a name?"

Ianto felt himself blush "Uh, yes, Gwydion, my first stuffed animal. Thank-you Jack for coming over."

"No problem, Ianto. I'm making breakfast right now, why don't you go freshen up? I think you could use a shower."

Ianto set Gwydion on the table "Thank-you, Jack" he then went into the bathroom and started his morning routine. Though he remembered calling Jack he couldn't really recall anything else except that he must have been hysterical.

The shower felt so good, it had been a couple of days since he last had one. But he felt terrible though; what must Jack think of him now? A simpering cry baby afraid of the dark? Yes, that was probably it. Ianto hadn't been a cry baby since primary school since before the bullies beat it out of him. After he ran away from his brother he drifted not bothering to finish school—he had his O Levels that was enough for him. He became quite a punk actually, smoking, drinking and gambling. He had one good friend though through it all, who was just as much of a punk as Ianto. Hermes Danann though disappeared from Ianto's life for awhile. After that Ianto came to London. He got a job in a small coffee shop and it was there he meant the man that would turn his life around.


	2. Stranger

Howdy, I hope you all like this chapter. The winner of the 'What should Ianto's middle name be?' contest is Carwyn. Apologies to those of you who wanted Aloysius but don't worry as I like the name it will make an appearance later on.

Chapter summary: Flashback: Before Ianto joined TW1 he meets a mysterious Welshman in London who seems to know everything about him.

Chapter rating: T Chapter genre: er…how 'bout mystery/supernatural?

Warning: This chapter contains material of the religious variety that might be slightly offensive to some people. I mean no disrespect whatsoever.

Disclaimer: I do not own Ianto Jones (obviously) nor do I own London, Hyde Park or anything else that I don't own. I cannot even claim rights to Gwyddion (the mysterious man); I'll tell you why at the end.

I do hope you enjoy this.

Oh BTW, throughout the story there will be some Welsh so if any of you speak or at least know more than me feel free to correct any mistakes I might make.

**This chapter has also been changed a bit since it's first posting.**

It was a dreary evening in October when the dashing gentleman came into the shop. Ianto had known he was bisexual for a couple of years now and couldn't help but notice as the man took off his black trench coat and slung it over his arm. He wore black trousers and an emerald green wool sweater. The man was without a doubt Celtic; tall and broad shouldered, black hair that fell in curls to his shoulders and eyes the colour of the Welsh countryside. Ianto had chastised himself for the girly thought then but now it no longer bothered him. The man (or god perhaps, Ianto had to think) came up the counter and smiled at Ianto. By the looks of the Green Man pendant around his neck, Celtic was likely the man's religion as well.

"Noswaith dda" he said to Ianto, his voice was the sexiest Ianto had ever heard before and since (sorry Jack).

"Noswaith dda," Ianto replied happily and he continued the conversation in Welsh "what can I get for you this evening, sir?"

"To be truthful, young man I have not tried this coffee drink before. What would you recommend?" He didn't look that much older than Ianto but Ianto attributed it to good genes. Besides his eyes did look far older than his body, he must have seen a lot. But to never have tried coffee? Due to places like Starbucks, that was getting to be a sin worldwide.

"Well sir, I would recommend the mocha, unless you don't like chocolate?"

The man considered this a moment "Chocolate? I have a colleague in Mexico who swears by it. But if you recommend this mocha then I will try it. I trust your judgement Ianto Jones…at least when it comes to coffee."

Ianto certainly didn't remember telling the man his surname, his first name was on his name tag in bold letters. But how did he know Ianto's surname? He let it slide for now and gave the man the price and got started on his drink. After all, Ianto thought Jones was one of the most common names in the country. It was just a lucky guess, wasn't it?

He gave the man the mocha over the counter "I hope you like it sir"

"My name is Gwyddion" he sipped the drink and smiled "I suppose I can see what my South American colleagues see in it. Well done"

"Thank-you sir" Ianto thought it interesting that this man had the same name as his toy dragon but didn't think anything odd about it as it was a Welsh name. Ianto glanced at his watch; it was time to clock out. He looked over at register—the next shift was already there.

"When are you finished working?" Gwyddion asked

"Why?" Ianto was suddenly on guard, as gorgeous as this guy was, Ianto didn't exactly trust people.

"I thought we could talk, I assure you Ianto Carwyn Jones that I mean you no harm."

"All right, the Jones could have been a lucky guess but how the hell did you know my middle name? _Nobody_ knows my middle name."

Gwyddion smiled "Walk with me and find out."

"No way, you are really creeping me out" he switched to English "I hope you enjoy your coffee sir, good night" he turned around and headed to the backroom.

Gwyddion called after him in thickly accented English "I shall be at Hyde Park at midnight, should you change your mind."

Ianto didn't look back. He almost didn't go to the park that night but his curiosity got the better of him.

He got to Hyde Park just as Big Ben stuck twelve.

_Who the hell meets in a park at midnight?_ He thought; _a nutcase that's who_. At least the sky had cleared allowing some moonlight to shine down and he remembered to bring a torch.

"I knew you'd come"

Ianto was so startled he actually yelped; he turned to find Gwyddion stepping out from behind a tree "Jesus, don't do that"

Gwyddion raised his eyebrows "I told you my name is Gwyddion" he spoke in Welsh again.

"I know that" Ianto snapped and he held out his torch almost threateningly "Now what do you want? How'd you know my name?"

"I have never even met the man called Jesus, though a Greek colleague of mine claims to have"

Ianto was really tired and really confused. Just who the hell was this guy? "Just how many countries do you have colleagues in?"

Gwyddion shrugged "All of them"

"Who the fuck are you and what do you want? Now stop playing games and answer me or I'm leaving."

"I told you my name is Gwyddion"

"All right, your name is Gwyddion I get that but…"

"That is all you need to know, Ianto"

Ianto sighed and sank onto the nearest bench. He was getting a headache "How did you know my name?"

Gwyddion sat next to him "That doesn't matter. What matters is you? You are on a dangerous path, my son."

Ianto groaned "What are you, some Celtic version of a Bible thumper?"

Gwyddion chuckled "No, of course not. I'm not here to tell you what to believe in, that would be rude. I'm here to tell you to be careful. Your father is concerned."

Ianto looked at him sharply "My father is dead"

"Yes he is; that doesn't mean he isn't concerned about you."

Ianto made to stand up "You're nutters you are"

Gwyddion grabbed his arm "At least listen to me please"

Ianto sighed again "Were you a friend of my father's or something?"

"You could say that. I'm closer to your grandmother Kylia though, she's concerned too."

Celts believed in an Afterlife so Ianto figured he might as well humour the guy, especially if he was a friend of his father's. Ianto and his siblings were raised to choose whatever religious path they wanted. But as far as he knew his father was Agnostic if anything. His grandmother on the other hand…. "All right, go ahead talk to me."

Gwyddion took a breath "You are very close to turning back to drugs Ianto. You already drink too much."

Ianto didn't look at him "Why do you care?"

"If you do not change the path you are on, you will die. Simple as that."

"What does it matter? I don't have anyone to miss me. Death might be nice." The truth was Ianto had already contemplated suicide several times. He had recently been diagnosed with bipolar but he hadn't bothered with medication. He already had to take medicine for his hyperthyroid and that was more vital than some silly mental thing. He didn't want any more pills.

"Look at me child."

Ianto looked, Gwyddion's eyes seemed to be glowing in the dim moon and torch light.

He put a hand on Ianto's shoulder "Tell me young one, when was the last time you let those bottled emotions of yours out?"

Ianto's eyes started to sting. Just how did this guy know so much about him? How did he know which buttons to push? Ianto wanted to leave, go home and curl up in bed but the hand on his shoulder felt so comforting. "Why is it important?" his voice came out in a whisper "I don't cry anyway, it's girly and wimpy. I'm no wimp."

"Dear boy even the strongest and bravest of men cry every now and then. Crying is in fact one of the bravest things a man can do. Do you want to know why?" his voice was soft and suddenly reminded Ianto of his grandfather, Taliesin Jones probably because his grandfather had said those exact same words to him once. He had been eight and he came home from school beaten up and refusing to cry because the bullies had called him a girl for crying when he fell off the swing and skinned his knee. His grandfather died a week later of a heart attack. Lately, Ianto had been ignoring his grandfather's words.

Ianto blinked allowing a stray tear to escape "I know why, it's because it shows that he's not afraid to show that he's not unbreakable which proves just how brave he really is."

Gwyddion nodded "Yes"

And Ianto cried; he couldn't fight it anymore. He didn't know how long he sat there crying on Gwyddion's shoulder but by the time he was cried out the sky was a touch lighter. He didn't want to sit up, Gwyddion's arms were around him—Ianto hadn't felt so safe since…well, actually he wasn't sure if he'd ever felt so safe. He decided to keep his head on Gwyddion's shoulder until Gwyddion himself made Ianto sit up.

Gwyddion rubbed circles on Ianto's back "There now" he said gently "why don't you tell me what's bothering you?"

"It's just" Ianto sniffed "just so hard"

"What is?"

"Life…I don't have anyone, not really. My brothers and sisters probably hate me and the best friend I ever had disappeared on me. There's nothing to live for."

"You like rugby don't you?"

"Yeah, but what Welshman doesn't? Besides even rugby holds no interest for me anymore and what does that have to do with anything?"

Gwyddion sat Ianto up and looked into his eyes. He kept his hands on his shoulders though "I'm no psychiatrist but I think you're suffering from depression and that is no reason to end your life. You never know when things will get better. After all, tomorrow is another day."

Ianto took out a handkerchief from his pocket and blew his nose "Scarlet O'Hara said that. 'After all, tomorrow is another day', she said that."

"Who's Scarlet O'Hara?"

Ianto had to chuckle. This guy really seemed out of his time. Hermes Danann had occasionally seemed out of his time too, the only drama he really liked were Greek tragedies. _Greek colleague… _Hermes was the name of a Greek god and Gwyddion was the name of a Celtic god…Nah, impossible.

"The point Ianto is that you have a wondrous life ahead of you full of fantastic things. Do you remember when you had your cards read when you were ten?"

Ianto nodded "What of it? That girl was creepy."

"What did she say?"

"I can't remember exactly. Why?"

"What do you remember?"

Ianto searched his memory "I'm not sure. My head hurts"

Gwyddion released his shoulders "Very well. Think on it, it will come to you. I must leave you now."

Ianto didn't want him to go "What? Already? Why?"

Gwyddion stood up "I am confidant that you will not attempt suicide in the near future and the moment that you even think about it I will know and I will not be pleased."

Ianto nodded and gulped—he did not want to get on this guy's bad side. "What am I supposed to do though?"

"Live every day. That's all. I will tell you this though: In three days time be at that little fish and chips place closest to Canary Wharf."

Ianto stood "Why?"

Gwyddion smiled "You'll see. I must go now and if you should feel lost again just hug that little dragon of yours."

"Will I ever see you again?"

"Perhaps. Gods go with you Ianto Jones" with that he walked off, disappearing into the night.

Three days later Ianto went to the little fish and chips place and it was there he met Lisa. A month after that he joined Torchwood One. He was also reunited with his best friend, Hermes Danann.

Two years later he met Captain Jack Harkness

So, what'd you think? Was it okay? Please review. I'm about half way done with the next bit so give me a couple of days for that. Oh and cheers for anyone who knows who Gwydion is in Celtic mythology.

Next chapter preview: _Ianto went back to his movie and groaned "Inconceivable! Now, I'm going to have to invent a drink. Ianto Carwyn Jones what were you thinking?"_

Still interested?

Please review, they make me happy and a happy author is a productive author. TTFN


	3. Chilly Down

Hello all. Lovely day today where I am. For some idiotic reason I didn't go to sleep till something like 5 in the morning and woke up three hours later. Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Chapter summary: Breakfast, some flirting, a glance at Ianto's movie collection and Ianto in flattering jeans and a t-shirt.

Chapter rating: T Chapter genre: mainly humour I'd say

Disclaimer: You know who they belong to, except Mr. Bamford, he's all mine. I think all you British Janto shippers ought to converge on where the TW writers hang out and chant "We want Janto" "We want Janto" or something along those lines. ;)

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Ianto finished his shower feeling only slightly better. He just put on his robe as he didn't have the energy to dress completely and he was hungry. He returned to the table to find breakfast all laid out. It was the fluffiest looking pancakes and scrambled eggs he'd ever seen.

Jack smiled at him, eyes wandering up and down "I hope you don't mind scrambled eggs and American pancakes. I never mastered the art of flipping eggs without breaking the yoke and I'm not fond of thin pancakes."

Ianto returned the smile and sat down "I love scrambled eggs and fluffy pancakes. It looks delicious."

Jack sat down on the other side of the table "You don't mind me using your kitchen do you?"

"Not at all. Wait a moment; I could have sworn that I didn't have any eggs."

"You didn't, I borrowed some from your neighbour."

Ianto put a fork full of eggs in his mouth, they were perfect. He then proceeded to drench his pancakes in butter and syrup. "Were you here all night?"

"Yeah, I broke your locks. Didn't wanna leave you alone. I'll fix them after breakfast."

"I can do that sir…wait, which neighbour?"

"A Mr. Bamford I believe, cute little fellow."

"What'd you tell him?" Ianto was concerned, the elflike Mr. Bamford was a major snoop…and liked to play Cupid.

"That you weren't feeling well and that I'm your boss."

"What'd he say?"

"That it was sweet of me to be taking care of you like that and he gave me six eggs. He also said and I quote 'Isn't there a rule against boss/employee dating? But I'm glad Ianto's realised he's gay.'"

Ianto nearly choked on the milk he just put in his mouth but he managed to swallow "He-he didn't?" How many times did Ianto have to tell that guy he was bi not gay? There was a difference.

Jack grinned "Yes he did and then he said 'You're as handsome as he said you were but I'd still rather Gerard Butler, gotta love that Scottish accent."

Ianto felt as if his face were on fire "Oh God"

"So, Ianto tell me what have you been telling that little cutie? 'Cause he also said that I'd be ten times more gorgeous if I spoke with a Scottish accent."

"Well you would" Ianto heard himself say. If possible his face felt even hotter and he looked wide eyed at Jack "I did _not_ just say that. You did _not_ just hear me say that."

Jack chuckled and no way, was he blushing? "All right, I did not just hear you say that." He then switched to a perfect Scottish accent "Except I did hear ya say that and it makes me wonder Ianto…"

Ianto was suddenly very glad there was a table between them "Stop sir, just stop right now. Just talk normally."

This sent Jack into full throated laughter.

Ianto focused on his food "These pancakes are very good sir."

Jack choked back his laughter "Thank-you and stop calling me sir, nobody else calls me sir."

Ianto swallowed a bite of pancake "Nobody else has propriety."

"True" Jack nodded "but really you don't have to call me 'sir'. It makes me feel old. At least when we're not working. Can you do that?"

"Of course, Jack"

"Thank-you"

A few minutes of silence followed as they finished eating. Ianto cleaned his plate, he hadn't realised how hungry he was. Jack started to clear away the dishes.

Ianto stopped him "Oh no, don't do that. You cooked, I'll clean. I'll just get dressed first."

"You sure?"

"Yes, thank-you. You can go back to the Hub if you want."

Jack looked at him, blue eyes unreadable "Yeah, I should probably check on things, feed Myfanwy. I'll fix your door first."

"Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it." Ianto stood up and started carrying the dishes to the sink.

"It's no trouble"

Ianto looked at him and gave him a half smile "I've seen you trying to fix a shelf, Jack. Let me fix my own door."

"All right" he held up his hands "you win. I really could use a sonic screwdriver."

Ianto decided not to respond to that—Jack said the oddest things sometimes "Besides, I imagine you want to get back into your regular attire; though you look pretty hot in a t-shirt." Ianto hadn't meant to say it exactly like that and he hadn't meant to sound so flirting.

Jack cocked a smile "and you look pretty hot in that scarlet bathrobe." He flirted back. He picked up his coat from the chair "Call me if you need anything."

Ianto bit his lip and decided to go for it "Jack…could you come back tonight? I…er…I think I'd like to talk if you don't mind." _And possibly snog you like mad._ Now, where did that thought come from?

Jack put a hand on Ianto's shoulder "Sure, I'll bring pizza. Pepperoni all right?"

Ianto grimaced "Just cheese please" he really was starting to consider going vegetarian.

Jack seemed to understand "Of course"

…

Ianto changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before he got to work. He washed the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen first. Surprisingly, there wasn't much to clean; apparently Jack had cleaned as he went. When that was done Ianto got to work on his door. It was true, Jack had only broken the locks, and fortunately Ianto was handy with a tool kit and had spare locks should just such an event occur. He may have only been in the Boy Scouts for two years but he never forgot to be always prepared.

It was noon by the time he finished and decided he was bored. But what would he do till Jack came back this evening? He could eat lunch, he supposed but then what? He looked the shelf of DVDs to the left of his TV and smiled. He fixed himself a cheese sandwich and a bowl of crisps and went about choosing a movie to watch. 'The Princess Bride' always put him in a good mood.

They were just getting to the Cliffs of Insanity when the phone rang (the land line as Ianto's mobile was currently recharging). He paused the movie and answered "Hello"

"Ianto, it's Jack, I'm just calling to see how you're doing"

"Oh, a bit better thanks. I…uh…I'd still like you to come over later if that's okay"

"Of course, that's the other reason I was calling. Would you like me to bring anything to drink with the pizza?"

Jack was being awfully nice to him lately, more so than usual and as weird as Ianto found it he quite enjoyed it "Well, I wouldn't mind some sparkling Tynant and some pomegranate liqueur if you don't mind."

"Sure, may I ask why?"

"I have an idea for a drink"

"Okay, which one is the sparkling Tynant again?"

"Red bottle Jack"

"Got it. I'll be over about six, is that good for you?"

"Yep, I also thought we could watch a movie or two" What was Ianto doing? Well he did want to spend some time with Jack. Whether it was more than just wanting to snog him senseless Ianto wasn't quite sure.

"Sounds good, see you then" with that Jack hung up.

Ianto went back to his movie and groaned "Inconceivable! Now, I'm going to have to invent a drink. Ianto Carwyn Jones what _were_ you thinking?"

…

That evening Jack returned to Ianto's flat with pizza and the requested liquids. What kind of a drink Ianto would make with sparkling Tynant and pomegranate liqueur, he didn't know but it sounded interesting. Jack knocked on the door and Ianto greeted him with a smile

"Noswaith dda, Jack"

Jack returned the smile "What you said"

Ianto chuckled a little and stood aside to let Jack in. He closed the door and took the bag containing the liquid from Jack "Just set the pizza on the coffee table, I'll do something with these after we eat. I don't think liquor should go with pizza. Have a seat; I'll be back in a tick"

Jack set the pizza down and couldn't help but stare at Ianto as he made his way to the kitchen. Ianto was wearing a tight t-shirt and jeans today, very flattering jeans. Jack bit back a wolf whistle. He sat on the couch and noticed that Ianto had already set out a selection of DVDs.

"Wanna beer?" Ianto called

"Sure" Jack called back and proceeded to look through the movies on the table. These included: "The Princess Bride", (which Jack hadn't seen before though the couple on the cover looked gorgeous), "Labyrinth", (Jack hadn't seen that either, wasn't even sure if he'd heard of it), the silent version of "The Phantom of the Opera" with Lon Chaney (Jack had seen that when it was new though). He was enjoying the memory so he didn't even notice that Ianto had returned from the kitchen, sat down and opened the pizza box.

"What movie do you wanna watch?"

Jack snapped back to the present "Huh? Oh, I don't know, what else do you have here?" the next movie in the pile was "Brokeback Mountain". Jack looked at Ianto with a raised eyebrow

Ianto was awfully cute when he blushed "What? It's a good movie and Heath Ledger's a good actor. Have you seen it?"

"I have actually and that's saying a lot. I don't get to the movies that much. Those kisses were hot." Jack smiled remembering how much he enjoyed the movie.

"Yeah they were" Ianto said "Hard to believe they're both really straight"

"Is there something you want to tell me Ianto?" Jack used his teasing voice.

Ianto sighed, bit his lip and then looked Jack straight in the eye "I'm bisexual; wanna make something of it sir?"

Was Jack imagining things or was that tone of voice insinuating something? Jack decided to go with it. He leaned closer and whispered "Never ask me that, unless you want me to make something of it; do you want me to make something of it, Ianto?" he leaned back "but honestly, you choose the movie." Jack just grinned as Ianto blinked and regained his composure. Jack resisted the urge to lick his lips at the visualisation of the tight muscle beneath Ianto's black t-shirt. In bronze Old English lettering it said 'Vintage '83.'

"As you wish" he picked up 'Labyrinth'

"What's that about?" Jack asked

Ianto looked shocked "Haven't you seen it?"

"No, I haven't even heard of it to be truthful"

Ianto gasped and looked as if Jack had said the most insulting thing there was "Y-you haven't heard of Labyrinth? That's madness, Jack. We _have_ to watch it now."

"But what's it about?"

"Well it's a fantasy for starters and this girl, Sarah, her baby brother gets taken by the Goblin King and she has to get through a Labyrinth to save him."

"Honestly, Ianto I'm not really into fantasies much. Why don't we watch…?"

"It's got David Bowie in skin tight clothing"

Jack blinked "Well in that case…" he waved a hand towards the DVD player "put it on then."

Ianto smiled "You'll like it trust me"

Jack was surprised to find that he actually enjoyed the movie (and not just because David Bowie was in skin tight trousers with an eye catching codpiece) but what he enjoyed even more was that Ianto seemed to be really into it. The Welshman sang along with every song and even did a few dance moves as well. When the movie was over Ianto looked at Jack, blushing slightly "Sorry, it's one of my favourite movies."

Jack smiled "Don't be, you have a beautiful voice. So, do you wanna talk or put in the next movie?"

"Uh…let's start the next movie. You pick this time."

"If you say so"

* * *

Oh, I have Ianto liking Labyrinth because it's one of GDL's favourite soundtracks so I figured he'd probably like the actual movie as well.

Okay, just so you know that t-shirt Ianto's wearing does not really exist as far as I know (though I would love one that says 'Vintage '87'). Anyway, I figure that because there's tailoring in his blood a hobby of Ianto's can be to make his own t-shirts, i.e. buy blank ones and put sayings and stuff on them. So, if there's any words you'd like to see Ianto wear or make for Jack please let me know and if I like them I'll be sure to use them (and give credit) sometime in the future.

I will tell you that eventually Ianto will make one for Jack that says "Don't hate me because your girlfriend/boyfriend/dog thinks I'm hot"

What d'you think?

Next chapter: There will be talking about the previous night and if we're lucky possibly some yummy action and maybe a Jack flashback--no promises though. Give me a couple of days.

TTFN


	4. Tears and Kisses

Howdy folks. I said a couple of days and it looks like I was able to stick to it. Hope you like.

Chapter summary: Jack and Ianto do some talking, there're some tears and then there's some fun. *wink*

Chapter rating: still T, I think (I don't know if I'll ever have the courage to write something to actually be rated M. Unless you want me to, I might be persuaded)

Chapter genre: er…not sure exactly, mainly comfort I think

Disclaimer: Jack and Ianto belong to whom they belong to, I like everyone else just like play with them. Chester was an actual cat once upon a time, not really mine though. He was my sister's. I also claim the drink Ianto made though I haven't yet tried it with sparkling Tynant. Cheers.

**This chapter has also been edited a touch since it was first posted.**

**

* * *

**

Jack decided on 'The Phantom of the Opera' because as it was a silent movie he and Ianto could talk during it. The pizza and beer was finished by now and Jack was in the mood for dessert.

"Ianto, you got any dessert?" he asked as Ianto put the movie in.

Ianto smiled at him "As you wish" he picked up the pizza box "I'll get this out of the way and go make those drinks, shall I? I'll also rustle up something for dessert." He glanced at Jack's feet "Take off your shoes sir, stay awhile, and make yourself more comfortable. I don't bite…much" with a sly grin that made Jack want to take him right there, Ianto sauntered off into the kitchen. Odd, Ianto had never "sauntered" before, but Jack found he quite liked it.

Jack did take off his shoes but didn't make himself comfortable, instead he stood up and decided to take a look around as he hadn't yet had the chance. There weren't any pictures or knickknacks except for two items on an end table. From what Jack had seen Ianto's flat was pretty much devoid of personality save the DVDs, CDs (which Jack would snoop through later) and those two items. Even Ianto's fridge was free of magnets. Jack wondered if the young man had any decoration sense at all. The two items on the end table were a mini Welsh flag and one single picture frame. The photo within was of an orange tabby cat with a white neck and chest and it had a look that clearly said "I'm master of all I see".

"Ianto" Jack called "do you have a cat?"

Ianto emerged from the kitchen with two champagne glasses filled with a sparkling red liquid. "Had a cat" he said. He set the glasses on the coffee table and looked whimsically at the photo "That's Chester; Tad got him for me after Mam ran off when I was two. He was just a kitten so I guess we grew up together. He lived to be thirteen, died not long before Tad did. I think he would have lived longer but he was a tom cat to the core, got in too many fights over the years." He sighed and smiled a little sadly at Jack "I'll get the dessert now. You do like double chocolate chip ice cream, don't you?"

Jack nodded "Are you kidding? I love ice cream, any kind makes me happy." Now he had to ask, looking back at the photo "Why Chester? It's not exactly a Welsh name"

Ianto shrugged "I didn't name him, I was two. I think it was Tad-cu who named him, besides he looks like a Chester don't you think?" with that he went back to the kitchen.

…

Ianto took a deep breath and allowed himself a few moments to think about his cat; well actually Ianto was Chester's human. His tad technically gotten Chester for the whole family but the cat chose Ianto. That cat had complete control of everyone in the house and he was stupidly brave. He was an indoor/outdoor cat and got into so many fights, Ianto's tad constantly threatened to tack him to the shed. But all it would take for him to calm down was Chester rubbing up against his leg and being reminded that it would devastate Ianto (as well as the girls). Chester was spoiled and got the best cat food they could afford and even was allowed table scraps. He was bossy as hell and always went out looking for female cats to bang. But he was always there when Ianto woke up in the mornings and always there when Ianto needed him.

Ianto wiped away a tear and got the ice cream from the freezer. He decided to use regular bowls because the only ice cream dishes he had were entirely too hard to clean. He returned to the living room to find Jack still standing, Ianto just shrugged and set the bowls down while taking his seat.

"Hey Ianto," Jack looked around the room and finally sat down again "why don't you any knickknacks and stuff? It's pretty basic."

Ianto picked up his drink "To be honest, I haven't really gotten around to decorating. I had a bunch of stuff at my place in London but I put it all in storage when I came back here." _That and do you really think I want to risk you people knowing what I collect?_ Owen especially would give him a hard time, not that he'd ever invite Owen over. _I also don't want to have to be reminded that I'm not an only child._

"Isn't there a house in your name?"

Ianto sighed; of course Jack would know about that "That's where I'm keeping my things. My Gran Kylia left it to me when she died; it's been in the family for over a hundred years. I never had the heart to sell it, though believe me there were times when I could have used the money."

"Why don't you live there now?"

Ianto was starting to regret that whole 'When did you last ask me anything about my life?' thing. "It's a half hour drive away. I needed to be closer to the Hub."

Jack seemed to understand "You don't anymore."

Ianto laughed a little "Sure I do, I have to be there first to make everyone coffee."

"We can make our own coffee."

Ianto looked at him with a 'are you crazy?' expression.

"Or you can wake up earlier" Jack smiled.

"What if there's an emergency sir?"

Jack seemed to consider this a moment "Point taken, at least make it your weekend getaway or something."

"Yeah, I suppose I could" he held up his glass "now, how 'bout we drink to…I don't know, relaxation?"

Jack picked up his glass "Sounds good to me."

They clinked their glasses and Ianto said "Be honest when you tell me what you think" Ianto took a sip and decided that the vanilla rum was a good call and was glad he didn't put too much water in.

Jack took a sip and smiled "It's good."

"Diolch"

"This is the part where I say 'You're welcome', right?"

Ianto laughed "Yes sir."

Jack rolled his eyes "Will you stop it with the sir?"

"Sorry, I guess it'll take getting used to" Ianto picked up the remote and pressed play. He then set down his drink and started on his ice cream. Jack followed suit.

When the ice cream was finished Ianto decided he was ready to talk. He paused the movie. "Jack," he bit his lip and took a breath.

Jack put a hand on his arm "Talk to me Ianto, whatever you say doesn't leave this room."

Ianto shifted on the couch so he could face Jack more comfortably "Jack, have you ever faced a dalek?"

There was something unreadable in Jack's eyes then but it passed as quickly as it came "Why do you ask?"

"I have, at Canary Wharf." He took another shaky breath "I was looking for Lisa, cybermen and daleks were all over, the only sounds I could hear were them saying 'delete' and 'exterminate' and human screams. No one was paying me any attention, the cybermen and daleks were so intent on killing each other. But then I tripped and fell—I looked up and there was a dalek right in front of me" the memories were bringing tears to Ianto's eyes and he found it harder and harder to get the words out "it said 'exterminate', I dodged its laser and kept dodging it till I knew I couldn't anymore. I was ready to give up when it stopped. Everything stopped, the daleks and cybermen all rose into the air, sucked back into the Void" he felt Jack's arms around him, pulling him close. Ianto cried onto his shoulder "I'm sorry, Jack I shouldn't be like this. I—I'm not like this…I just…sometimes Jack I can't stand it…sometimes I wish I've never heard of Torchwood."

"Shhh, it's okay Ianto. You've been through a lot lately; you deserve to let it out. Believe me I'd rather you lose it like this now than in the middle of an emergency. I need you at the top of your game." He pulled away and looked Ianto in the eyes, wiping away his tears with his thumb "And you wanna know a secret?"

Ianto sniffed "Not if you don't want to tell me."

Jack smiled gently "That's what I like about you Ianto Jones; you never question me unlike some others who shall remain nameless. But the secret is that sometimes I wish I'd never heard of Torchwood either but then I remember all the good I'm accomplishing by being part of it."

Ianto sniffed again and forced a smile "You're right, I guess I just…I don't know. It's so hard sometimes."

"I know," Jack put a hand on Ianto's shoulder "I know. Just remember that you're not alone and I'm always here if you want to talk."

Ianto really wanted to kiss Jack now, been wanting to for sometime. He was still confused as to what he felt for Jack—just attraction or more than that? Perhaps, if he got the lust out of system… After all, Jack wouldn't mind, he was always flirting with Ianto (more than he flirted with anyone else, Ianto was pleased to note). He took a deep breath

"Jack, do you remember when we caught Myfanwy?"

Jack grinned "How could I forget? I don't think I ever properly thanked you for catching me."

"Speaking of that, when we were on the ground and I was on top of you…" Ianto took another breath and went for it. He grabbed Jack's shirt collar and captured his lips. He moved his lips over Jack's and after what was clearly a stunned second or two, Jack started to kiss him back. Jack opened his mouth, clearly inviting in Ianto's tongue but Ianto panicked and pulled away, releasing Jack and scrambling to the far end of the couch.

"I-I'm sorry sir, that was uncalled for."

Jack blinked and touched his fingers to his lips. His mouth moved for a few seconds before speaking "Wha—what was that for?"

He didn't look at jack as he answered "I guess I'm attracted to you, I wanted to kiss you, wanted to ever since that night in the warehouse. I'm sorry, I should have asked. Oh, I shouldn't even be kissing you, you're my boss, it's…" Ianto didn't finish as he suddenly found his mouth full of Jack's tongue and Jack's hands were on his shoulders. Ianto couldn't move at first but then decided to go with it. He moved his hands to Jack's neck and started battling Jack's tongue for dominance.

The movie was paused at the bit just after Christine ripped off the Phantom's mask.

Ianto had to pull away when he could no longer breathe. Both he and Jack breathed heavily as they stared into each other's eyes.

Jack grinned his famous grin "One, don't ever be sorry for kissing me. Two, where the _hell_ did you learn to kiss like _that_?"

Ianto, no longer caring about propriety tonight, just smiled back seductively. He whispered in Jack's ear "Want to see what else I can do?"

…

Something like half an hour later…

Jack was amazed, never before had he been so impressed by another man than he was by Ianto in his entire life and that was saying a lot. Even that Cockney sociopath hadn't been as handy with his hands and mouth as Ianto was and he had been pretty handy. Jack was also amazed because he had let Ianto be on top, completely on top and Jack had never let another man be on top, not even that Cockney sociopath whom Jack didn't even deem worthy of thinking of his name.

He and Ianto lay side by side on the floor in the living room just behind the couch, both drenched in sweat and other bodily fluids. "Wow" Jack breathed "do I even wanna know where you learned that?"

Ianto turned on his side, propping up his head with his elbow, to look at Jack and smiled "A magician never reveals his secrets Jack. Are you impressed?"

Jack also turned on his side "I can honestly say that I have never been more impressed and believe me Ianto that's saying something."

As flushed as Ianto's cheeks already were from the most fantastic sex, he still managed to blush "Really?"

"Oh yes" Jack scooted closer to him "I'll have to return the favour sometime."

Ianto lightly ran his fingertips along Jack's arm "Well if you've still got the stamina sir…" he whispered, accent thicker than usual "unless you have to get back to the Hub."

Jack placed a hand on Ianto's thigh and whispered into his ear "I have _always_ got the stamina."

* * *

In Loving Memory

Chester

11 April 1993 to 1 December 2006

Right then…

Welsh speakers: Please correct me if I made any mistakes with the Welsh. Tad-cu means grandfather if the University of Wales at Lampeter's dictionary was telling me the truth.

We actually named Chester (the real one) after the cat in the Bunnicula books.

Next chapter: I actually have no idea, probably something to do with Greeks Bearing Gifts and They Keep Killing Suzie. I'm sure we all wanna see what they did with that stopwatch. ;) It will take me more than a couple days though. Patience is a virtue.

Any suggestions will be most welcome

Please review.

TTFN, Lady A


	5. Greeks pt1

**One or two things have been edited in this chapter. Nothing major though.**

Sex with Jack was fantastic, it really was and every time they were together Ianto was able to forget the pain he still felt. He had loved Lisa, he really did and to lose her like that without being able to help her…But it was more than just that that was causing him pain. He had wanted it to be just sex with Jack, just a release but Ianto found his feelings changing toward the mysterious captain, changing to something more than lust and friendship. And it made him feel so guilty because it was so soon after losing Lisa and it angered him because he knew Jack would never see him more than just a friend who produced great sex and coffee. Ianto was also highly annoyed because he had become a compulsive cleaner and was starting to wonder if he might have OCD. After all as of late, tidiness was almost all he cared about.

That was one reason he didn't live in his house—he'd be dusting all the time. To top it all off he still wasn't quite over his breakdown, it was like his stomach was full of rats, gnawing away at his insides. He'd been through so much; he wasn't sure who he was anymore. It felt like all he was now was the tea boy who cleaned up, manned the tourist office, organised the archives, fed the pets, shagged the boss and occasionally went out on missions. He had more of a life when he was drifting because he didn't have much of one in London either to be honest. He only had one friend of his own but he didn't see him outside of work that much. So he and Lisa would often hang out with her friends. And he almost always did what she wanted. He loved her, he really did but occasionally he felt whipped. He hadn't been in a real relationship before so maybe he was a tad over enthusiastic about it.

Now he was still whipped and it wasn't even a real relationship that he had with Jack. Well if it was just sex to Jack then it would be just sex to Ianto, after all he couldn't give it up. Jack was like a drug; but Ianto's emotional barriers were going back up—he wasn't about to have his heart broken again. If he had to act like a Vulcan he would, well maybe not a complete Vulcan, there was no way he could stop using his sense of humour.

And now something was up with Tosh, Ianto could tell. She seemed very distracted and she refused Ianto's offer of coffee. What's more is that she had said 'thanks'. Ianto couldn't remember the last time she actually said that, not since he first joined TW3 anyway. Something really must be bothering her. He'd talk to her about it later; after all she had become friendlier towards him since the Brecon Beacons (a place he would _never_ venture again if he could help it).

Ianto took a long craved drag of his cigarette and shuddered as he exhaled. It had been over a year since he last had one. He was sitting on a bench on the dock of the bay taking a needed break from the confines of the Hub. He needed out of the Hub so he wouldn't be tempted to clean anything and the less he saw of Jack the better. Usually when Ianto needed to hide he'd steal away to the tourist office or the archives but someone would always find him wanting coffee or biscuits or something they could get themselves. Well all right, except the coffee; he had to admit he didn't want anyone touching _his_ coffee machine. He wondered how long it would take before anyone thought to look out here.

"That's _never_ Ianto Jones."

The laughing Irish lilt caused Ianto to jerk his head up out of his thoughts. He narrowed his eyes at the curly haired Irishman "Why whatever do you mean?"

The Irishman grinned, "Ianto Jones, smoking in a _suit_? Thought that was against your fashion beliefs or somethin'."

"I was desperate. Want to make something of it you bloody Irishman?" Ianto's lips started to curve upwards.

"I always want to make somethin' of it you bloody Welshman"

Ianto laughed and put out his cigarette. He then stood up and pulled the Irishman into an embrace "Oh it's good to see you, Hermes Danann"

"And you Ianto Jones" Hermes ruffled Ianto's hair as they separated. "By the way it'd be 'you bloody _half_-Irishman if ya wanna get technical."

Ianto lightly punched him on the shoulder, grinning "What the bloody hell are you doing in Cardiff? Didn't think I'd see you so soon after…"

"Oddly enough, I'm just passing through. To be honest, I didn't think I'd find you here." His face became serious "I thought you'd had it with Cardiff?"

Ianto shrugged "So did I. But…Lisa wasn't dead when I found her, Hermes."

"She wasn't?"

"No, I lied to you. She…look I have to get back to work." He took out a pen and paper and wrote down his address. He handed it to Hermes "This is my flat. Can you meet me there tonight, unless you've gotta go?"

Hermes pocketed the paper "I've got plenty of time, I'll be there. You gonna give me a key or do you want me to use the old method?"

Ianto smiled "I trust you not to break my locks. Besides my keys are back in my office."

"Right then, where do you work? Must be fancy if it's got you wearing a suit again."

"I promise I'll tell you everything later" _well most everything anyway. _ He leaned in and whispered "My boss has trouble trusting former TW1 employees."

Hermes's eyes widened "You're working for Harkness now? Wait, if he don't trust…"

Ianto smiled "I stalked my way in and it helps that he likes me in a suit."

Hermes laughed "Mate, you better hurry home. I can't wait to hear this."

…

Ianto refilled everyone's mugs and gave Tosh hers because it looked like she needed it.

She looked up from her computer "Thank-you Ianto. How'd you know I needed coffee?"

He smiled at her "I know everything. Actually though, do you have a minute? I'd like to talk if you don't mind."

"Of course" she gave him a small smile

"Great, could you meet me in the archives in five?" _I need to take his royal highness his coffee. He better not ask for a blow job again._

Tosh nearly spit out her coffee in a fit of giggles.

Ianto raised an eyebrow at her "Something funny?"

"Oh, not really…yes, I'll meet you there"

"Okay then" Ianto turned and headed to Jack's office. It was odd how Tosh laughed right when he thinking about Jack asking for a blow job but she couldn't have heard his thoughts. Even if she had she wouldn't have understood them, Ianto thought in Welsh after all. He delivered Jack's coffee; thankfully Jack was busy on the phone with what sounded like U.N.I.T. Ianto made his exit quickly. Jack didn't even look up.

Ianto made it to the archives to find Tosh already waiting for him. He would have been there first but Owen asked for a biscuit or six.

…

Tosh hadn't been very forthcoming but something was definitely up and for some reason Ianto noticed she wasn't wearing the necklace she had on earlier. Ianto arrived at his flat to find Hermes lounging on his couch watching for some reason 'Touched by an Angel'. He had obviously gotten into Ianto's DVD collection. He sat down next to Hermes

"And I thought those 'creepy angel things' gave you the willies"

Hermes paused the DVD at a scene where Monica was telling someone that she was an angel. "I was kidding; some of my best friends are angels"

"Have you been doing meth again? I noticed you cleaned in here."

"How could you tell? There was nothing to clean. Have _you_ been doing meth?"

"No" Ianto had tried it once and never did it again. He didn't like what it did to him.

"Neither have I. By the way, there isn't a single vegetable in this place."

"I don't like vegetables. Wait, what happened to you accent?" Ianto had just noticed Hermes didn't sound Irish anymore. He now sounded American.

"Oh, Irish isn't my real accent, neither is this as a matter of fact but I prefer it. Don't get me wrong, I really am half-Irish and half-Greek but I didn't grow up in 'Eire. I grew up mostly in Olympus."

Ianto blinked "Sorry?" that really didn't make any sense to Ianto.

Hermes stood up "Ianto, I think it's time you know the truth about me."

Ianto rose his eyebrows "By all means"

"Okay first of all" he started pacing "I already know all you were going to tell me"

"And how do you know that?"

Hermes stopped pacing and looked directly at Ianto "I'm Hermes, it's my job to know everything."


	6. Greeks pt2

Hello, so this didn't take as long as I thought it would. The next chapter might though.

Chapter summary: Mostly just Hermes and Ianto talking but I assure you it's not as boring as it sounds. Next chap will have more people in it.

Chapter rating: T Chapter genre: bit of humour

Disclaimer: you know the drill

Enjoy.

Last time…

_Hermes stood up "Ianto, I think it's time you know the truth about me."_

_Ianto rose his eyebrows "By all means"_

"_Okay first of all" he started pacing "I already know all you were going to tell me"_

"_And how do you know that?"_

_Hermes stopped pacing and looked directly at Ianto "I'm Hermes, it's my job to know everything."_

* * *

Ianto was suddenly reminded of his conversation with Gwyddion but put it out of his head "Yes, you're Hermes Danann, most knowledgeable archivist in Torchwood One"

Hermes sighed and muttered something in what sounded like Greek and then said "Ianto, I really am Hermes, as in _Hermes_. I believe you've met a colleague of mine by the name of Gwyddion."

Ianto couldn't believe what he was hearing "What?"

"I'm a god and so is he"

"What?" Ianto said again

"Ianto, look at me. Have I aged at all since you've known me?"

Ianto looked at him, he still looked anywhere between seventeen and twenty-five. Ianto stood up mainly to see if he was still an inch taller than Hermes. He was "gods? You're actually _gods_? You're not aliens or anything?"

Hermes rolled his eyes "You've been watching too much Stargate. I assure you that we're Earthlings. Tell me: what did you think after you met Gwyddion?"

Ianto shrugged "I don't know"

"Yes you do" Hermes suddenly seemed glow almost like Monica was on the TV screen.

Ianto didn't want to sit back down but his legs seemed to have other ideas as he sank back onto the couch "after he left I got to thinking about all the things he said, how he knew everything about me and how he had colleagues in every country" why was Ianto talking? Anyone else and Ianto would be quiet as a clam but something about Hermes made him want to talk. It was the same feeling he'd felt with Gwyddion "I got to thinking that maybe he could have been Gwyddion, the god but then I joined Torchwood"

Hermes sat back next to him "and what little faith in the supernatural you had was questioned. Knowing that humans weren't alone in the universe shouldn't have stopped you believing. Other planets have gods too. Being surrounded by science shouldn't question faith. But I'm not allowed to tell you what to believe in"

Ianto looked into Hermes's golden eyes but had to advert his gaze after half a second "Why are you here then? I haven't attempted suicide. Why did you ever become my friend in the first place? Why wait till now to tell me the truth?"

Hermes stood up again and his clothes were suddenly different as well. No longer was he wearing tan cargo trousers and a blue Nike hoodie instead he word what appeared to be a white kilt that went down to his knees, a broad gold belt, gold winged sandals, a gold travellers' hat (similar to the Archaic images) and he was holding a golden staff entwined with snakes and topped with golden wings and a crystal. It was all rather sparkly. Ianto couldn't help but think _Damn look at those abs._

"Eyes up here, Ianto"

Ianto jerked his head up to look at Hermes's face "Sorry, but you are very nicely chiselled. Over doing it with the gold though, aren't you?"

Hermes huffed "Since when are you Carson Kresely? Anyway, I was sent to keep an eye on you. Becoming friends wasn't part of the plan but I couldn't help it. We have a lot in common."

Ianto furrowed his brows "Why keep an eye on me? And sent by whom?"

"You're something special, Ianto, that's all you need to know for now."

Ianto sighed but decided not to push that issue "But why are you telling me now?"

Hermes shrugged "Would you have believed me if I told you when we met? 'Yes, hello, I'm Hermes Greek god of communication and a plethora of other things but as things have been slow lately I do work for the other pantheons as well.' Tell me Ianto, what would you have done?"

"I probably would have thought you were crazy"

"Exactly. Look, just accept that everything happens for a reason and the Mother Goddess and the Father God work in mysterious ways."

"What? The Mother Goddess and the Father God?"

"Certainly, they are the Divine creators. They are who all the pantheons of gods answer to."

"Then why do most people only believe in one or the other?"

Hermes huffed again "Don't ask me to fathom the way the mortal mind works."

"Okay. Could you, uh, stop with the glowing thing please?"

"Of course" he did so and was back looking like a walking advertisement for Nike. He sat down "I know it's a lot to take in"

Ianto nodded and then he had to ask as the thought just occurred to him "So, what does the goddess Nike think of the clothing line?"

Hermes grinned "She quite likes it actually"

"Isn't it weird walking around with her name plastered all over you?"

"Not really" Hermes leaned back "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before but that one lie didn't change my personality, just my accent."

"It's okay. How are you half Irish? I thought Zeus was your father."

"So did I for some time, but I don't look anything like him. Notice the red undertones" he indicated his hair and there were in fact traces of red in the golden brown "but Mama was with two men the day I was conceived and no, that doesn't make her a slut. You don't say 'no' to Zeus."

"I wasn't going to say she was. So, I'm just guessing but if you use Danann as a surname does that mean your father is of the Tuatha de Danann?"

Hermes nodded "Absolutely correct."

"Who exactly?"

"It's chieftain"

"The Dagda? No way, he's your father?"

"Yep, unfortunately that makes me related to Oghma"

"But wouldn't he be your half-brother?"

"You know your Celtic mythology and not just Welsh Celtic; very good. Yes, he's my brother and one of my best friends. At least he was before we found out we were related" Hermes chuckled and then he stretched "anyway, you hungry?"

"Do gods even need to eat?"

"No but it's a fun hobby"

"Okay, I can order a pizza"

Hermes sighed "Ianto, you really oughta eat more vegetables. A healthy diet will help you live longer."

"Doubt it matters with my job"

"Would you like to die of malnutrition before a blaze of glory 'cause that'll happen at the rate you're going."

Ianto crossed his arms "You're not my father"

"That's true, I'm not and I'm a terrible one as it is. I have five sons, I think and they're all idiots. But I am your friend; that has to count for something doesn't it?"

"I'll think about it"

"Well" Hermes stood up "I am going to make you a healthy supper. Just so happens I went to the market after I raided your cupboards."

"But I don't like vegetables" Ianto pouted

"Ianto, if you act like a four year old, I will not hesitate to treat you like one. Don't make me force feed you. Cooking is one of my many skills, you'll like it. I promise." He turned towards the kitchen and froze. He was staring at the wall.

"What is it?" Ianto stood up and moved next to him. There was a spider on the wall "Damn, how did that get in here? Hermes, you're not afraid of spiders are you?"

Hermes clutched at Ianto's arm "They're out to get me"

"Don't be stupid, how could they be out to get you when they're out to get me?" Ianto had been terrified of the things since he could remember.

Hermes looked at him "Seriously? Well, maybe they're out to get both of us. Kill it"

"You kill it"

"No, if I go any closer it'll attack me"

"You're a god"

"So?"

"Well, it'll attack me too"

"Well we have to do something before it calls its friends"

Ianto had a sudden vision of calling Jack over to kill a spider. 'Sir, could you come over and kill this huge rampaging spider for me?' "Cnych"

"You shouldn't swear, even in Welsh"

"Shut up. I have some bug spray" Ianto crept into the kitchen and got a can of bug spray from under the sink. He then went back to where Hermes was and aimed at the spider and pulled the trigger. Both he and Hermes jumped back with yelps when one spray didn't kill it and it moved. Ianto shot the thing several more times before it was finally dead.

Hermes waved a hand in front of his face "Do you ever get high off the fumes of that stuff?"

"Probably, gods, we're wimps"

"No, we're cautious. There is a difference"

"Good point. Well, go make supper then. I'll clean this up."

…

Ianto watched as Hermes puttered about the kitchen, not making a single mess. This was one reason they got on so well—they both liked things to be clean. Hermes more so than Ianto though.

"Ianto, with the lack of green food you eat, you must have low iron. Has Owen said anything to you?"

"Yes, but he can't tell me what to do. And he can't tell Jack because of doctor/patient confidentiality."

"Yes, well if you don't want to eat meat anymore you're gonna have to eat more veggies. If you eat meat and no veggies, you can survive; a weak survival, mind you. The same if you eat only veggies and no meat. If humans were meant to be vegetarians they never would have learned to hunt. But I don't blame you for wanting to avoid meat after what happened. However, Ianto Carwyn Jones, man cannot live off pizza, Chinese and coffee alone."

"All right, make the bloody supper already"

"Not if you take that tone with me. All my life, it's always 'Hermes do this, Hermes do that. Get me this, get me that"

"Heh, I know the feeling. All right, I'm sorry but you said you would make supper and I am hungry."

Hermes laughed "Right you are but patience is a virtue, my boy."

…

Ianto it seemed had crawled back into his shell and Jack was not happy about that. They had been making such progress. But if that's how Ianto wanted to play the game then that's how they would play it. Jack would only reveal as much as Ianto did. Admittedly, since first seeing the adorable Welshman, Jack had wanted in his pants but since that night in the warehouse he had felt something more and it scared him. It scared him because he didn't know what it was. He cared for Ianto certainly, as a colleague and a friend but was it more?

The sex was fantastic and Jack greatly enjoyed what Ianto did to him in bed. But was it just sex? It had to be, it had to be just sex because Jack couldn't afford for it to be more. He didn't want to risk hurting more than he already would when he did lose Ianto and he would lose him, one day. Sex with Ianto made Jack forget all his worries. It even made Jack forget about the Doctor. What's more, it made Jack feel alive, so very alive. But it was just sex, it had to be.

However that's not what Jack needed to focus on right now. He needed to figure out this transport device and find the alien it belonged to. And he needed to figure out what was wrong with Toshiko. She was acting out of character and there was something odd about that necklace she was wearing today. Jack wondered…

…

"Anyway, your tad told me you used to like leeks and green beans"

"But he's…"

"Dead yes, but Ianto as a guide of souls, I have a free pass into the Afterlife."

"I only liked them when he made them"

Hermes muttered something in Greek again.

"What does that mean?"

"'Incorrigible Celt' Lucky, he gave me his recipes then"

"You're half-Celtic"

"Yes, I am also half-Greek which makes me more incorrigible than you. By the way, can you even cook?"

Ianto bit his lip "I can order out, make coffee, microwave and toast."

"If you followed a recipe do you think you could cook? Your tad said there's a bunch of cookbooks at your house."

"Well yes, I suppose so"

"I think you should live there"

"But I'd be cleaning all the time"

"So? I imagine you'd get tired of it eventually."

Ianto sighed "I must admit I probably would be more comfortable there. So, what are we having? Welsh Rabbit? Tad was really good at making that."

"No. Will you eat chicken?"

"Yes"

"Good, a friend of a friend calls it 'leeky chicken'."

"Do you have other mortal friends?"

"Certainly, but those two live in an alternate reality where you are a fictional character in a BBC TV series."

Ianto blinked "What? No, on second thought, I don't want to know. You say stranger things than Jack"

Hermes grinned "You don't know the half of it, kid"

* * *

I do believe this is the longest chapter so far. That's why I stopped here and I need to test something. Since Thursday afternoon I haven't gotten a single alert or review in my inbox, yet by checking on this website I know a couple of things had been updated and I had gotten two more reviews for the last chapter but they haven't shown up at my email yet. Let me know if any of you have been experiencing something similar.

Next time on "Not Unbreakable":

"_Okay, I'll introduce you but he'll flirt with you"_

"_I don't swing that way, you know that"_

"_It's been said that he can get a straight man into bed"_

"_But can he get a straight god?"_

"_I don't think it's wise to tell him that you're a god"_

"_Right"_

_What Ianto didn't see was that Hermes had his fingers crossed behind his back._

Stay tuned

And don't forget to review.

TTFN


	7. Greeks pt3

A/N: Jack may seem a little OOC to some but he is insanely hard to write and Hermes has that effect on everyone. Besides it's not like any of us know how Jack would react to meeting a god, especially Hermes.

Chapter summary: Jack meets Hermes.

Chapter rating: Still T Chapter genre: uh…you tell me

Please be kind. Review, review. They make me so happy.

* * *

"So I was pretending to sleep, trying immensely hard not to laugh. My mother said to him 'Lord Apollo, how dare you accuse my son of stealing your cattle. He is hardly out of his swaddling clothes'."

Ianto stopped himself from taking a drink from his milk just in time. He burst out laughing at what he assumed to be Hermes's impersonation of his mother, translated to Welsh. They were now conversing in Welsh because Hermes had said that Ianto didn't get enough chances to use his native language.

Hermes grinned, obviously pleased with Ianto's reaction "and then Apollo said 'that hardly matters madam, he is quite obviously a godling and therefore it is perfectly reasonable to think that he did it. Now I want my cows back!'"

Ianto choked back his laughter, Hermes had made Apollo sound very gay "But I thought you were only just born when you stole his cows?"

Hermes took a sip from his glass "One, I prefer to use the term 'borrowed' and two, I was even by mortal standards a toddler. You shouldn't believe everything you read. Very few of the myths have any redeemable value to them."

Ianto took a bite of his chicken, it was in fact quite good; so were the leeks and the salad Hermes had made. Vegetables had never tasted so good before, Hermes had said it was because Ianto's body was deprived of certain nutrients 'Your body knows what it needs, we just have to get your mind to agree'.

"So, Hermes is Apollo gay or something?"

"As a matter of fact, he's not very happy at the moment no." Hermes rolled his eyes "What have I told you about that word?"

Ianto cringed "Right sorry" Hermes didn't like to use 'gay' to mean 'homosexual' "I mean is he homosexual then?"

"That's better and no, he swings both ways like most other male Olympians. But I honestly believe he's who the stereotype is based on."

Ianto chuckled "Bit of a fruitcake then?"

"Apollo can be a _flaming_ fruitcake and that's when he's _not_ in a mood. Anyway, he'll flirt with just about anything with a brain and good looks."

"So like Jack then." Ianto deadpanned "As if the universe needs more than one"

Hermes smiled "Speaking of Jack, I'd like to meet him"

Ianto blinked "Why?"

"Might be interesting. Besides it's not like you have to worry about me being a security breach."

"I don't know"

"Come on Ianto, I'm sure Jack would like to meet your very best friend" he batted his eyelashes and gave a look that Ianto never could resist.

"Okay, I'll introduce you but he'll flirt with you"

"I don't swing that way, you know that"

"It's been said that he can get a straight man into bed"

"But can he get a straight god?"

"I don't think it's wise to tell him that you're a god"

"Right" What Ianto didn't see was that Hermes had his fingers crossed behind his back. "It'll have to be in a couple of days though when you get this thing with Toshiko sorted out."

"What thing with Toshiko? What's wrong with her?"

"I respectfully decline to answer without my attorney present."

Ianto sighed "Fine, can I at least ask what this episode is called in…"

"Nope" Hermes said cheerily "but the one right before it is called 'Countrycide' with a 'c'."

Ianto closed his eyes "Of course it is"

…

* * *

A couple of days later…

It was the morning after Jack had sent Tosh's alien lover to the sun. Now, he was looking forward to a fresh cup of Ianto's special Torchwood blend and maybe the chance to talk to him. Tosh had told Jack about the pain Ianto was still in and they were making such progress too. Speaking of Ianto, his beautiful voice just came over the com system

"Sir, I would like to ask you a question"

"You know what I like in my coffee, Ianto"

"Yes sir, I know. It's not that"

"Then what is it?"

He heard what sounded like an Irish voice in the background and Ianto say something in Welsh. Ianto then sighed "Sorry about that sir. I have a friend who would like to meet you"

Ianto had other friends? And he was using the com system in front of one? That generally only meant one thing "Does this friend know about us?"

"Yes sir, he used to work for Torchwood One."

Jack moved to his computer. He wasn't too keen on Torchwood One and the last friend of Ianto's tried to kill them all "What's his name?" Jack accessed the TW1 personnel files that were still on record, meaning the ones that belonged to personnel who were still alive or not yet confirmed dead.

He heard Ianto sigh again "Hermes Danann."

Oh yes. Hermes Danann, Jack had seen that name before in Ianto's own file. They had been co-workers in Edinburgh in a men's suit shop. Jack looked him up anyway. Hermes Danann had been recruited to Torchwood London about two months before Ianto and quickly made his way to be the top archivist. He had apparently called in sick the morning of the battle. Talk about luck. "Do you trust him?" he asked Ianto

"Jack, he never agreed with London's policies, he only stayed there to try and make a difference"

When Ianto called him Jack, Jack knew he had to be sincere "How long have you known him?"

"Since I was sixteen…"

Jack heard the Irish voice again; this time more clearly "You can be more honest than that"

Ianto sighed again "he's my best friend Jack. Besides, he already knows how to get into the Hub. He's quite good at hacking. I swear he knows more than me"

Impossible, Jack thought, nobody knows more than Ianto, well no mortal anyway. "All right, Ianto bring him in." But if he caused trouble, Jack wouldn't hesitate to take action.

"Thank-you sir, we'll be there in a few" with that Ianto clicked off.

Sure enough, a few minutes later Ianto and his friend walked through the cog door. Jack couldn't help but stare, Hermes Danann was _hot_. The picture in his file didn't do him justice. Hermes was wearing a dark blue Armani suit and tie and what looked like Gucci loafers. He walked over to greet them and held out his hand

"Captain Jack Harkness"

Hermes shook it "Aye, I know. Pleasure"

Jack smiled "Oh the pleasure's all mine" out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ianto roll his own eyes. "What brings you to Cardiff?" he released Hermes's hand and inwardly marvelled at how smooth it was.

"Just passin' through actually, ran into Ianto on the dock out there the other day, so I thought we'd get reacquainted."

"Well any friend of Ianto's" Jack was captivated by Hermes's eyes; they were a sort of goldish amber, unlike any human eyes he'd seen before. He wondered briefly if Hermes could be an alien but decided that sometimes humans just got neat eyes.

Hermes indicated the cog door "That's a very nice door by the way, very Jetsons"

"We like it"

"Well" Ianto said "I'll get some coffee brewing, shall I?"

"Yes please" Jack agreed

"I'll help" said Hermes

"No need, I'll leave you and Jack to get acquainted" with what Jack perceived to be a sly smile, Ianto sauntered off into the kitchen area.

Hermes smiled "So, Captain, I have to say, Ianto speaks very highly of you."

That was interesting; Jack figured that Ianto would complain about him to his best friend "Is that right?" Jack glanced over his shoulder at the Welshman who was busy at the coffee grinder. He looked back at Hermes "Would you like to see why?" he used his best flirtatious voice.

"I don't swing that way, Captain" he then leaned in and whispered, accent suddenly American "but what I am curious about is what you and your team were doing last year when you were just outside with the Doctor and Miss Rose Tyler?"

The last time Jack had felt as if his world had dropped from beneath him was when he found that the Doctor had abandoned him and it had been so long since he lost his composure he couldn't even remember when "Wha—what?" he croaked. He hadn't "croaked" since he was twelve.

Hermes smiled in a 'you can never win with me' way and said "I'll tell you what if we go somewhere a bit private. Just the two of us"

As much as Jack just wanted to kick this guy's ass and retcon him 'round the block, he found himself wanting to do as the apparently not really Irish man said "All right" he said "Follow me" he led the way to his office "Ianto" he said as they passed him "knock when the coffee's ready. Your friend and I have something to discuss"

"Of course sir" Jack couldn't be sure but it looked like Ianto shot a death glare at Hermes.

…

* * *

In response to Ianto's 'oh no, you don't' glare, Hermes grinned cheekily and continued to follow Jack up to his office. Jack allowed him in first and closed the door behind them.

Hermes smiled at Jack "You might want to sit down for this"

Jack crossed his arms and stood in a defensive pose that reminded Hermes greatly of Heracles "I'll stand thanks, it is my office"

"If you insist" Hermes rolled his eyes, broody self sacrificing hero types were all the same "I imagine you're wondering why I suddenly have an American accent?"

"Among other things. How do you know I know the Doctor?"

"Patience child, one thing at a time."

Jack raised his eyebrows at being called 'child' but said nothing.

"Now, where to begin?" Hermes resisted the urge to pace to he could keep eye contact with the boy. "Well, I suppose the beginning is a good place to start. You were or rather, will be born in the fifty-first century. You used to be a time agent; you're missing two years of your memories. You first met Rose and the Doctor in 1941 during the London Blitz."

It looked like Jack was trying to remain impassive but Hermes noticed the beads of sweat gathering at his temples "How do you know all that?" his voice was quiet.

Hermes smiled and put a hand on Jack's shoulder "One more thing before I tell you that: Jack Harkness is not the name your parents gave you. That name is…" Hermes leaned in and whispered it into the boy's ear whose knees buckled. Ah, the power of the Given Name. Hermes led him to the couch and eased him into it

"How do you know that? Nobody knows that."

"Don't worry Jack, I won't tell anyone. Your real name isn't always the one your parents gave you, it's whatever feels right. I think Jack suits you."

Jack looked up at him "Answer me, just who the hell are you?"

"I'm Hermes and it's in my job description to know everything…" there was a knock on the door. Hermes called over his shoulder "Hold your horses, _Ifan" _he made sure to stress Ianto's birth name (the kid had it legally changed as soon as he joined TW1) "and I don't believe for a minute the coffee's done already"

Ianto replied in Welsh "Fuck you"

Hermes sighed but decided to ignore him and looked back at Jack "I swear that boy has no respect"

Jack had what Hermes liked to call 'the Hero's look of confusion' on his face "What?"

"I'm a god"

"A what?"

"A god" Hermes said again "I am Hermes, Olympian god of communication and a plethora or other things. And before you even suggest it, no I'm not an alien; none of the Earth gods are. We are all Earthlings, which is more than can be said for you, Captain. The Boeshane Peninsula isn't exactly on this planet. If you wanna get technical Jack, you may be human but you're the alien here. After all, an alien is essentially just a foreigner…"

"I know that" Jack interrupted "but if you are a god and I'm not saying I believe you, why are you here? Why are you telling me?" he remained on the couch

As he did with Ianto Hermes began to glow and zapped on his "work uniform" as he liked to call it "Originally, I was assigned to keep an eye on Ianto. It wasn't part of the plan to be his friend but that happened anyway. I joined Torchwood London, mainly because I knew he would too and I find new technology interesting. I'm telling you because I told Ianto recently and I'd like you two to have something to talk about"

Unlike Ianto Jack kept eye contact "Okay, so it seems you can do god stuff but I'm still not sure if I believe you" he stood up

Hermes sighed and leaned on his staff, sometimes he really felt his age "Why?"

"If you are Hermes, then that means that there is an afterlife and…"

Hermes straightened himself up "I know, you can't really die and whenever you're gone for those few seconds you don't see anything. You didn't see anything when that Dalek killed you. But Jack, did you ever stop to think that maybe you never see anything because you are not yet meant to die?"

Jack lowered his eyes "No, I suppose I haven't" he looked back up "Why can't I die? What happened to me?"

"I'm sorry Jack, even though I do know the answer, the Doctor has to be the one to tell you"

"I think I can understand that. Can you tell me when I'll see him again?"

Hermes shrugged "All I can say is to be patient for a little bit longer"

Jack looked out his office window "That coffee should be ready by now"

"The machine may be giving Ianto some issues. There are a few other things I'd like to discuss with you without him being present and I may have messed with the rest of the team's alarm clocks"

Jack rose an eyebrow at him "You really are a prankster aren't you?"

Hermes grinned wickedly "It is in my job description"

"Hmm" Jack's eyes had travelled lower and were resting somewhere beneath Hermes's waistline "what else do you want to tell me?"

Hermes rolled his eyes and got back into his suit "Eyes up here, Jack"

Jack looked up and gave Hermes that famous grin of his

"Nice try kid but I already told you, I don't swing that way"

…

* * *

Hermes had something to do with this, Ianto was positive about it. It was too much of a coincidence that it would malfunction when Hermes was alone with Jack. To further Ianto's suspicions, the rest of the team should have been here by now but Hermes had been talking to Jack for an hour and still no one else was there. They weren't answering their phones either. Ianto wasn't sure how many times he'd cursed Hermes in Welsh and in English before he and Jack finally came out of the office.

Hermes smiled at Ianto "Don't worry; it'll start working again after I leave."

"Don't you want a cup?" Jack asked him

"Nah, I've got other places to be. I shouldn't have even stayed as long as I did. Ah, the life of a divine messenger. You've nothing to be concerned about Ianto, so stop frowning; you'll get little wrinkles in your forehead"

Ianto relaxed visibly but he still wondered what Hermes had told Jack "I can make you a to go cup, if you like"

"Thanks but I really have to be going. Besides I can get it directly from the source anyway."

Ianto gave him a slight smile that time "Yes of course, those South American colleagues of yours"

Hermes grinned "Right you are" then he did something Ianto did not expect, he kissed Jack on the cheeks "It was a pleasure meeting you, Jack."

"Oh, the pleasure was all mine." Jack was using the voice he used whenever he flirted with Ianto

Ianto just rolled his eyes

Hermes apparently did the same "I'm sure. Remember what I told you"

Jack nodded solemnly "Always"

Hermes then turned to Ianto and pulled him into a hug "C'mere, you"

Ianto returned the embrace and whispered in Welsh "I'd like you to be the one to guide me when I die"

"Oh, that's a long way off Ianto; you'll see me again before then. But no worries, I'll be there" Hermes ruffled Ianto's hair as they parted and he kissed Ianto's cheeks too and then said in English "Remember what I told you too, young man"

"Remember to eat my vegetables, I know"

Hermes flicked his arm "More than that, you silly Welshman"

Ianto nodded "I know, I will"

"Good, well boys, I'll be off" with that he disappeared in a bright flash.

Jack sauntered up to Ianto "So coffee?" he said hopefully

"Yes sir" Ianto turned on the machine and sure enough it was working fine and soon after the others began arriving.

* * *

Yes, we'll see Hermes again eventually. And we'll find out what exactly he told Jack later on but I will tell you that it may have had something to do with past lives and reincarnation and Hermes may have told Jack "If you ever hurt him, I will make your incredibly long life a living Tartarus."

Curious?

Stay with me, it's gonna be a long ride.

Don't forget to review, please. TTFN

_Next time on "Not Unbreakable"_

_Ianto clicked the button "It took you precisely five minutes and thirty-eight seconds to find me from the moment you reached one hundred. I believe that means I win"_

_Jack grabbed the stopwatch from Ianto's hand and tossed it aside "I don't see how, it took you six minutes to find me."_

_"Ah, but you cheated; not only did you count too fast but you peaked. I win by default. The rules we made clearly state…ohh, uhh…now, Jack that's not fair…Jack…Jaaaaaccckkk" _


	8. HideandSeek

Ianto clicked the button "It took you precisely five minutes and thirty-eight seconds to find me from the moment you reached o

**Sorry this took longer than I wanted but I have so many ideas for so many things. I'm also sorry this is short but it's meant to be. You'll see why at the end.**

**Chapter summary: Jack and Ianto play naked hide and seek. They end up in the archives where they tussle and bump into something causing something to happen to them.**

**Chapter rating: High T, I don't think it's M quite yet. Let me know if you think otherwise.**

**Chapter genre: Humour and naked hot guys? (Naked hot guys should so be a genre)**

* * *

…

As a child Ianto hated Hide-and-Seek and Keep Away, he really hated Keep Away. He never was fast enough with that '1-2-3 Not It' crap. Now, if he hated Hide-and-Seek so much then why the devil was he playing Naked-Hide-and-Seek with Jack? Oh yes, Jack wanted to and managed to "convince" him. And since he liked it when Jack "convinced" him, Ianto agreed. Of course, hiding naked in the Hub was a bit chilly, it was beyond Ianto why Jack wanted to play this game. They were however making good use of that stopwatch, timing how long it took to find each other.

Ianto had been 'it' first but that was only because Jack was an evil, evil man. It had taken, according the stopwatch anyway, Ianto six minutes to find Jack. Ianto suspected that Jack tampered with the watch because he was quite certain it had taken him half that to find the Captain hiding in Myfanwy's nest.

"I'm lucky she didn't bite your cock off" Ianto told him.

"Isn't supposed to be 'You're lucky'?"

"Isn't that what I said?" Ianto said innocently

Jack blinked and Ianto smiled—it was fun confusing Jack. Confusing Jack was a favourite hobby. It should be an Olympic sport, Confusing Jack because it took a lot of effort and skill. Very few people could confuse Jack. In fact, Ianto knew of only two, himself and most likely Hermes. Of course, Ianto suspected that the illustrious Doctor would win the gold medal in confusing Jack.

Yes, whiskey plus naked hide-and-seek produced weird thoughts. Anyway, the rules were fairly simple (Naked-Hide-and-Seek rules, not Confusing Jack because those rules were not simple).

One: Turn off internal Hub cameras

Two: Take off each other's clothes

Three: Keep earpieces in as to hear each other count

Four: "Seduce" each other

Five: Whoever comes first is it.

Six: Must count to one hundred in any language other than English

Seven: No peeking (Duck or chicken, Ianto joked)

Eight: Do not tamper with the stopwatch

Nine: The hider must start stopwatch after the seeker reaches 100

Ten: Ianto is not allowed to hide in the archives because Jack would never find him

Eleven: Jack is not allowed to seduce Ianto into submission

And those were only the first eleven; there were forty-two in total, a lot of them quite ridiculous. And yes, the Confusing Jack rules were more complicated but Ianto hadn't translated them into English yet.

So, now Ianto was hiding and watching the watch tick away, it was nearly five minutes and Ianto wondered if Jack would look in the bathroom. It was after all a fairly obvious place, but Jack was into more unique things wasn't he? So, what the hell was he doing with Ianto? Ianto was just an ordinary human who happened to be best friends with a Greek god, but that was beside the point. Ianto didn't see himself as unique. Of course, Jack flirted with anything that breathed and some things that didn't so whoever knew with him? Ianto sighed

"Gotchya!" Jack came bounding through the bathroom door. Ianto knew he saw Jack peek.

Ianto clicked the button "It took you precisely five minutes and thirty-eight seconds to find me from the moment you reached one hundred. I believe that means I win. And were you counting in both French _and_ Spanish?"

Jack grabbed the stopwatch from Ianto's hand and tossed it aside "I don't see how, it took you six minutes to find me."

"Ah, but you cheated; not only did you count too fast but you peeked. I win by default. The rules we made clearly state…ohh, uhh…now, Jack that's not fair…Jack…Jaaaaaccckkk. Stop. Jack!" Ianto grabbed Jack's hand and shoved it away "remember rule number eleven, Jack."

"What's that one again?" Jack was fully erect despite the cold. How the hell did he manage that?

Ianto crossed his arms and ignored his desire to get on his knees and take Jack in his mouth "Rule number eleven says 'Jack is not allowed to seduce Ianto into submission'."

Jack grinned "Rules were made to be broken"

Ianto sighed and rolled his eyes, there really would be no winning with the sex fiend "Want me to take care of that?" he eyed Jack's more than decently sized manhood.

"Would you, please?"

Ianto smiled "Certainly, sir" he pushed Jack down on the toilet "But you'll have to catch me first" with that he ran, suddenly feeling about thirteen years younger. He grinned when he heard Jack growl and swear. Ianto then decided to break rule ten. However, Ianto wasn't quite fast enough to hide. After a merry chase around some corners, Jack caught him around the waist, sending them both to the ground in laughter. They tussled playfully for a few seconds till they hit a cabinet, causing something to fall. There was a bright flash, knocking them both out.

When they woke up, they knew right away something wasn't right.

* * *

**Okay, folks, what does the object do to our boys? I can't decide between three scenarios so I'm gonna let you vote for it. Whichever gets the most votes wins.**

**Choice A: The alien device causes Jack and Ianto to switch bodies.**

**Choice B: The device turns them into women (what they would look like had they been born that way)**

**Choice C: It turns them into kids, maybe age seven**

**Whatever it does, it will be reversed eventually. Remember this is in series one, just after "They Keep Killing Suzie". You have to review to vote and when you vote tell me why chose the letter you did. It'll help with ideas and getting the next chapter up faster.**

**A, B, or C, the choice is yours. I can't wait to see what you all want.**

**TTFN**


	9. Each other's Shoes pt1

**And the winner is (drum roll please) choice A with 12 votes. Choice B got 2 and choice C got 5. And a couple of you were somewhat undecided. Now, as I like the 'turning at least one of them into a little kid' idea (I remember that one episode of Star Trek: TNG) it may just appear later on in the story. That being said I do hope you enjoy this, no matter what your choice was. Those of you that actually gave me reasons, you all had good points, thank-you.**

**Main reason I decided on A: If it were an actual episode they wouldn't have to get different actors.**

**Oh and let me know if this chapter is confusing, body switching was harder than I thought… but still fun. **

**Chapter genre: humour, supernatural/Sci-Fi, and a mention of angst**

**Chapter rating: T**

**Chapter title: Each Other's Shoes part 1**

**

* * *

**

_When they woke up, they knew right away that something wasn't right._

They stared at each other for several moments before voicing as one "What the hell?" They then scrambled to their feet and cautiously approached each other. It was quite apparent they were not in their proper bodies. Ianto was a little disturbed to note that he could stand to gain a few pounds and Jack came to the conclusion that he hadn't been working out enough.

"Jack," Ianto covered his (Jack's?) mouth at the sound of the voice that came out. Is that how Jack heard himself? Weird. Ianto swallowed and finished what he was going to say "how did this happen?"

Jack raised Ianto's eyebrows at the sound of his voice. Is that what other people heard when he spoke? Maybe he would be sexier with a Scottish accent. "I have no idea" Hmm, Ianto's voice sounded a lot deeper than what actually came out of his mouth. Weird. Jack then saw the strange object on the floor and pointed at it "but I'm guessing that might have something to do with it."

Ianto looked at it, vision a lot better with Jack's eyes "Where'd it come from?" It appeared to be a simple wooden box covered with a mixture of Greek, Ogham and Futhark letters.

"You're the Archivist" Jack bent down for a closer look, either Ianto needed glasses or human eyesight was immensely better by the 51st century. Shit, they'd better find a way to reverse this before they got into a situation where Jack that is Ianto in Jack's body might be killed, because Jack was fairly certain that the immortality was attached to his _body_. And he wasn't too keen on anyone else finding out his secret.

"Well, I've never seen it before" Ianto replied indignantly "It certainly doesn't look alien though does it? That's human script"

"You never know with aliens. Here, maybe if we both touch it, it'll switch us back."

"Except that we didn't touch it to get like this. It just fell to the floor."

"Good point" Jack picked it up, it was lighter than it looked and it was the smoothest wood he'd ever felt. He dropped it back to the floor. Nothing happened. "Well, I guess we'll have to translate what it says."

Ianto picked up the object this time "It'll take awhile; it's got three different languages on it and I don't think Tosh's program has Ogham or Futhark on it. Speaking of Tosh, should we call the others?"

Jack had a sudden thought "Do you really want to tell them? We'd have to explain how it happened."

Ianto sighed, Owen would have too much fun with this "No, I suppose not. Should we just handle this ourselves then, sir?"

"Please do not call me sir with my voice. And I think we can figure it out, if we can't fix it in a couple of days then we'll tell the others." _Besides, I want to see how the others treat you._

"But s-Jack, that means we'll have to act like each other to keep it secret."

"Exactly. I think you can handle my job."

"I know I can, sir but can you handle mine?"

Ianto seemed awfully sure of himself "Of course, you'll just have to teach me how to work that coffee machine before the others get here in the morning."

…

It was an hour before Ianto would usually arrive and therefore an hour and a half before the others started showing up. Jack and Ianto were in the Jack's office.

"No, Ianto the watch goes on the right wrist"

"Whatever for? You're not left handed."

"You know, I never understood that whole thing. But, no I'm not left handed but I wear my wrist strap on my left because I'm right handed."

"Oh all right" Ianto put the watch on the right wrist and then saw in horror how Jack put on his tie "when was the last time you wore a tie?" he then proceeded to fix it.

"You know, I don't really remember. Good thing, you had a spare suit here though."

"Indeed sir, I do like to be prepared" he finished with the tie "there we are sir."

"I told you to stop calling me that. Doesn't it feel weird or something?"

"Of course it does but like I said, it's a hard habit to break."

"Just remember to call me Ianto in front of everyone else."

"I know and _you'll_ have to call _me_ sir."

"I know, God, that's gonna be weird. Now, time to teach me your coffee magic."

"I'm not going to give away all my secrets Jack."

…

"What's this button do?

Ianto grabbed his wrist before could touch the red button "Jesus, Jack you have the attention span of a four year old. Now, please pay attention" Ianto released Jack hoping that he hadn't grabbed him too hard. He was about to continue his coffee lecture when the timer on his own watch went off. Shit.

"What's that for?" Jack asked looking at the watch questionly.

Ianto sighed and reached into a cupboard for the pill box he kept here. He debated telling Jack but as he wanted his body to stay healthy he couldn't get out of it. He put two pills in Jack's (his) hand. "Take these. You won't be able to eat for an hour I'm afraid."

Jack looked at him with concern "What are these for?"

"I'm hyperthyroid and I will admit only now that I'm bipolar."

"Why didn't I know about this? It should have been in your file."

"My Torchwood file, Jack?"

"Yeah. Torchwood One wouldn't have hired you if they knew you were bipolar."

"You're right they wouldn't have. They didn't know… about the bipolar anyway." TW1 did know about the hyperthyroid.

"Why haven't you said anything to us?"

"I didn't want anyone knowing."

"Too bad, because from now on you'll have regular check ups from Owen."

"Is that an order sir?"

"Damn right, it's an order."

"So, you're not going to fire me?"

"Why would I?"

"For keeping another secret from you and the fact that I could go manic at any second."

"We'll talk about that secret thing later and as for you going manic, you've been fine so far, as long as you keep taking your medicine…" Jack looked at the pills in his hand "no eating for an hour huh?"

"Nope" Ianto handed him a glass of water.

Jack made a face but took the pills. He hadn't even heard of thyroid disease in his own time and bipolar had been gone for about five hundred years.

If Ianto was being honest he might as well be honest about one more thing "By the way, I request that you be very careful with my body sir."

"You know I will. Any particular reason, other than the obvious?"

Ianto sighed "I had leukaemia when I was seven. I panic every time I bruise."

"Oh" Jack wasn't sure what to say to that because that was another disease that had been eradicated by his century "That wasn't in your file either."

"It should be. Perhaps you forgot."

"I guess I must have. So, did it go into remission or…?"

"My brother Gavin was a match for a bone marrow transplant."

"You have a brother?"

"Six of them and three sisters, all older. Now, shall we continue with the lesson?"

Jack nodded, sincerely not liking the sound of his 'time to change the subject' voice. Clearly, Ianto wasn't too keen on his past. But wow, nine older brothers and sisters— Jack often didn't like to be reminded but he knew of Ianto's family. He had known Ianto's mother (not as well as he would have liked) and grandfather…

…

"Now, remember, Owen takes his with two sugars, Tosh with cream and two evenly measured tablespoons of chocolate sauce, and since it's Thursday Gwen will have hers with milk and honey for some bizarre reason and I'll have what you're having. Got all that?"

"Could you write it down, please?"

"Certainly" he did so and handed the paper to Jack "Don't forget to go open up the tourist office after you serve the coffee."

"Right" Jack put a hand on his shoulder "we still have a few minutes" he looked at Ianto suggestively, quite interested in the possibilities.

Ianto removed his hand as if it were a spider, not that Jack had seen how Ianto is with a spider "Jack Harkness, you are a freak of nature. I'll be in your office catching up on your paper work" with that he headed back to the office.

Jack would have called after him 'You're no fun' but Tosh arrived just then.

…

* * *

**Okay, a few things: Originally I was going to have Ianto be an only child with two half-siblings but I'm rather fond of the idea of him coming from a large family, it makes his angst more fun to write. And I thought giving him some illnesses would also add to the drama. There'll be a whole back story to Ianto and why he didn't stay with his family after his father died later on. Hint: it involves a disagreement with his eldest brother.**

**Thank-you so much to everyone who voted and reviewed the last chapter. I just love reviews, they make me so happy. Remember a happy Janto shipper is a productive Janto shipper. So please review, they'll help me get the next up that much quicker.**

**BTW, who thinks Ianto should find out about Jack's immortality? **

**Oh and for future reference, Ianto's illnesses will play an important part after Jack disappears with the Doctor. Hint: It involves snapping at Gwen. Be prepared.**

**TTFN**


	10. Each other's Shoes pt2

**Okay folks, this chapter was really hard to write because it involves interacting with the other characters and I'm not sure if I got them spot on but that's why the other three don't have many lines. Out of the three, Tosh has the most lines, mainly because I like her better. Please let me know if you see any problems and I will be happy to fix them when I get around to it.**

**Meanwhile, enjoy.**

* * *

"Good morning, Ianto" Tosh said with a sweet smile as she came over to the small kitchen.

"Morning, Tosh" Jack returned the smile "Coffee's almost ready"

"Fantastic, I sure could use a cup. Is there room in the fridge for this?" she held up a bag from the deli down the street.

"Of course" Jack took the bag from her and placed it in the fridge. So far so good, he thought. Ianto's job would be easy or he'd eat his hat. Actually, did he even have a hat? Now, there's a thought, he and Ianto could make a challenge out of this…

"Well" said Tosh pulling him out his thoughts "I'll be at my desk"

A few minutes later just as the coffee was ready, Gwen and Owen arrived together. Of course Jack knew they were having an affair, he could always tell when someone was having sex. They went to their separate work stations

"Oi, tea-boy make with the coffee" Owen said as he turned on his computer.

Jack glared at him, Jack at least said 'good morning' to Ianto before asking for coffee. "Coming right up" Jack said in what he was sure was Ianto's fake cheery voice.

He made their coffees according to Ianto's instructions and went around delivering it. He delivered Tosh's first "Here you go, Tosh"

"Thanks Ianto" she blew on it and took a sip "mmm, just how I like it"

_Thank God_, Jack thought. He then went to Gwen, ladies first after all. "Milk and honey Thursday, Gwen"

She gave him a small smile "Diolch, Ianto. Bore da"

Shit. How the hell do you say, 'your welcome' in Welsh? Jack just returned the smile and nodded "Bore da Gwen" _Do they speak Welsh to each other? Ianto didn't say they did, of course he might just be trying to torture me. _Jack then went over to Owen "Owen"

Owen just grunted in response, obviously absorbed in his video game. Who told him he could goof off on the job? Is there a reason Ianto hasn't told on him? Jack resisted the urge to pour the coffee on Owen's head and just took his coffee and Ianto's up to his office.

…

Ianto sat in Jack's chair and got started on the pile of paper work. He sighed heavily, one of these days he was going to ask for a long holiday, maybe to some place like Disneyland, the original in California, he'd always wanted to go. Unfortunately, the Hub would be a mess without him; those four weeks he was suspended had been enough to prove that. He got so absorbed in doing the paperwork that he didn't even notice when Jack came in with the coffee.

"I had no idea you could forge my name so well"

The sound of his voice startled him and he yelped a little which turned into a nervous chuckle. He smiled sheepishly at Jack who was looking at him with a bemused expression "I honestly have no valid explanation for it sir"

"Uh huh" Jack set down his own coffee mug "I figured we'd use each other's mugs today"

Ianto couldn't help but smile "Considering we are using each other's mugs"

"Cute Ianto, real cute"

"Shouldn't you be heading up to the tourist office?"

"I will in a minute. First, I'd like you to tell Owen to stop goofing off and get to work. And is there a reason you haven't told me what he does on his computer?"

Ianto sighed "I'm sorry sir but I thought you knew"

Jack rolled his (or rather Ianto's eyes) "just tell him and then I'll go upstairs"

_Fine, but don't blame me if you're tempted to put cyanide in his coffee_ Ianto got up and poked his head out the door "Owen! Stop messing around and do something constructive!"

Owen was so startled knocked his mug to the floor causing it to shatter.

Ianto bit back a grin "and clean that up yourself, Ianto does enough around here!"

Ianto turned back to Jack "I suggest you avoid him for awhile"

Jack didn't say anything, instead he quickly brought their lips together and then almost jauntily walked out of the office. Ianto stood there in shock; _that_ was just _wrong_. Only Jack Harkness would want to kiss himself. Oh, they'd better switch back before this got even more confusing. Though, Ianto had to admit, it would be fun to boss Owen around…and maybe even have a talk with Gwen about her cheating on her boyfriend with Owen and constantly staring at Jack as if he were the one she wanted, maybe. Then again, maybe not. Jack would probably not appreciate it and besides it's not like Ianto was jealous of Gwen. Really, he wasn't, he had no reason to be. Sure, sometimes he caught Jack staring back at her and there was that CCTV footage of the shooting range…but it wasn't like he and Jack were in a real relationship and they certainly haven't sworn to be exclusive. If Ianto wanted to make eyes at a woman, Jack wouldn't care, hell he'd probably want to join in. So then why was this bothering Ianto so much?

…

Okay, Jack had to admit, kissing his own lips had been a bit unusual but everything took getting used to. With that in mind he happily made his way upstairs

"Thanks a lot tea-boy" Owen said sarcastically as he passed him

Jack made an innocent expression "Why Owen whatever do you mean?"

Owen threw the rag down on the floor "You tattled"

Jack rose an eyebrow "Owen, honestly are you five? Who says tattled?" he then smiled slightly "and yes I did" with that he left Owen cleaning and winked at both girls on his way out.

It wasn't until he was half way to the Tourist office that he realised that Ianto doesn't wink. Oops. Well, maybe they wouldn't notice.

…

Ianto hissed as he got a paper cut. On reflex he immediately stuck the finger in his mouth. When he took it out again he was surprised to find no trace of the cut and he could have sworn there had been a touch of blood. How very odd. Figuring he had been seeing things he decided to take a break from the paperwork and wander around the Hub. And maybe order Owen to go feed the weevils. On the other hand, if he bossed Owen around too much it might cause suspicion.

"Good morning, Jack" Tosh smiled at him and Ianto was pleased to note that it was the same smile she used for him.

"Good morning" he replied

Gwen, however wore a smile that seemed to say Jack was the only reason she came to work "Good morning, Jack"

_Gods, woman, you really need to straighten your priorities. _"Morning, Gwen." He turned to Owen "Owen, I don't want to see you goofing off again."

"You won't, Jack"

_Yeah, Jack won't but I still will, won't I?_

…

Half an hour after opening the tourist office, Jack decided to close it as he was incredibly bored. He hadn't felt so bored since the week of August 15th 1975, a week where there had been no rift activity whatsoever. He went back downstairs, wanting another coffee and something to eat. He also came to the decision that he should tell Ianto about the immortality before he found out himself.

Once in the Hub, he saw Ianto leaning against the counter in the kitchen, seemingly staring into space. Then he noticed Gwen staring at him, or rather Gwen staring at whom she believed to be Jack. Interesting. She didn't think Jack's flirting meant anything, did she? Jack flirted with just about everything, it was in his nature. And though he cared about Gwen and certainly found her attractive he didn't want _that_ kind of relationship with her. Beside the fact that Gwen was already in a steady relationship, (or was supposed to be anyway); Jack knew that a romantic relationship with her wouldn't last more than a few months at the most. For one, she asked entirely too many uncomfortable questions, questions that she didn't need answers to. If they got involved romantically, Jack could just picture her nagging at him all the time. Granted, she was a good woman and any man would be lucky to have her. They'd be lucky because they'd love her enough to stick with her. Rhys was a lucky man but Jack was glad he wasn't Rhys.

He made his way over to Ianto, ignoring a glare from Owen and opened the fridge. "I am allowed to eat now, right?" he asked Ianto.

Ianto nodded "Eat all you want, my metabolism can take it. Got bored up there, did you?"

"Oh yeah. How do you deal with it?" Jack took out a sandwich he'd made the day before but hadn't finished "You're not allergic to anything are you?"

"Not that I know of. And I fight the boredom by reading and doing crossword puzzles. I'm also fond of Mad Libs but they're not as fun by yourself."

Jack bit into the sandwich "yeah, well the tourist office is closed for the day. I'd rather be down here."

"Didn't your mother ever teach you not to talk with your mouth full?"

Jack swallowed "But this isn't _my_ mouth" he said innocently

"Ianto!" Owen called "I could use another coffee, please"

Jack glared in his direction "He didn't say please earlier. Is he only polite when I'm in the room or something?"

Ianto rose an eyebrow "That was polite? But yes, if you must know."

"How do you put up with him?"

Ianto smiled slightly "I remember that putting cyanide in his coffee would probably get me in trouble."

Jack chuckled "Don't be so sure after today. A medic I can always find…" he was interrupted by a giggle. Both he and Ianto spun around to find Tosh standing there.

"Tosh?" they said in unison

"How long have you been there?" Jack asked her.

"Long enough to figure out you two must have switched bodies somehow, were you two planning on telling anyone? I thought I noticed something odd."

"Only if we couldn't reverse it ourselves in a day or two" Jack said.

"What did you notice?" Ianto asked, clearly worried

"Well, I thought it was strange when you or your body at least winked at Gwen and me"

Ianto looked at Jack "You did what? Jack, I don't wink"

"I know, I was hoping no one noticed"

"Don't worry" said Tosh "I think I was the only one. Gwen probably just thinks Ianto's in a good mood today."

"No I'm bloody well not" Ianto scoffed

"Wow" said Jack "American accents really shouldn't say British swear words. It doesn't sound right"

Tosh opened the fridge and took out her deli bag "So, how did this happen?"

"Why don't we go into my office to talk about it?" said Jack

"Jack" Ianto pointed at the coffee machine "refills and it's time to feed Myfanwy and the inmates."

Jack sighed "Fine, you and Tosh go up to my office and you tell her what happened"

…

"Are you going to tell Gwen and Owen?" Tosh asked once they were both in Jack's office.

Ianto shrugged "You'll have to ask Jack"

"This is so strange. You really switched bodies? You're not having me on?"

"We really switched bodies, Tosh. I don't know how or why it happened but it did." He picked up the object which they had placed on Jack's desk "Jack and I were in the archives last night. This fell off a cabinet, there was a bright flash; it knocked us both out and when we woke up…well, this is the result."

Tosh took the object in her hands, clearly fascinated "Amazing and this doesn't look alien does it? It's all human script on here. Do you know what it says?"

"We haven't gotten around to translating it, no"

"I'm sorry, I have to ask" she took her eyes off the object and looked up at him "what's it like? Being in his body?"

"Well," Ianto sighed "I highly doubt I'm enjoying this as much as the Captain is"

Tosh giggled "I can imagine" she looked at the object once more "do you know where this came from?"

"No idea. We haven't had time to go through the archives and Jack's useless down there by himself. I'm the only one who knows my way around but I can't go down there by myself in Jack's body. Owen and Gwen would suspect something."

"Not if you told them. We really shouldn't leave them in the dark about this."

"Like I said, ask Jack"

It was then Jack came in the room with coffee "Ask Jack what?" he closed the door behind him.

Tosh took her coffee cup from the tray "Don't you think you should tell Gwen and Owen?"

Jack sighed and set the tray on his desk "Might as well, in a few minutes though. You go back to work for now and Ianto and I will be down a few. Then we'll tell them."

Tosh smiled "Okay, do you want me to translate what this?" she held up the object with her coffee free hand.

Jack took it from her "Yeah, but we'll bring it down with us"

"Okay" with that she left the office.

"Why do you want to wait a few minutes?" Ianto asked.

Jack didn't respond right away, he was watching Tosh. Once she was back at her desk, he turned back to Ianto "There's something I need to tell you first, something I don't want anyone else knowing. But you need to know it while you're in my body, in case anything happens to you."

Ianto raised an eyebrow "Should I sit down?"

Jack shrugged "If you like"

Ianto nodded and sat down in Jack's chair.

Jack sat across from him "I can't die"

Ianto blinked, not sure if he heard right "Sorry?"

"I can't die" Jack repeated "I really can't, something happened to me, a long time ago. I was killed but I woke up and ever since, I can't die, not completely. No matter what happens, I always come back."

Ianto swallowed and looked at the finger that had the paper cut "And I suppose you heal fast as well?"

"For some things. Why?"

"I got a paper cut earlier. There was no sign of it after a few seconds. So, you're immortal?"

"I don't know. I keep aging, very slowly but I keep aging. I don't know what I am." He sighed again and for a moment looked indecisive and then he said "I've been with Torchwood for over a hundred years. You don't need to know anything else right now"

"And you don't want anyone else to know?" Ianto suddenly remembered when Suzie died the first time. He had cleaned her gun himself…it had been fired twice before she died. She only needed one shot to kill herself…

"That's right"

_But Gwen knows doesn't she?_ "Okay sir, if that's what you want. I won't breathe a word" Of course, if Gwen did know, it currently seemed like she would have found out by accident. Jack wouldn't have chosen to tell her but if she saw him die and come back, he would have had no choice. And would Jack have told her about the slowly aging bit? Probably not, Ianto told himself. Ianto found himself quite content in the knowledge that Jack chose to tell him, even if it was just to prevent any surprises should a deadly situation arise. Not that he was in competition with Gwen or anything; they certainly weren't competing for Jack. Not officially anyway…

"Thanks Ianto. I knew I could count on you"

"You'll always be able to count on me, Jack. Well," he added as an afterthought "as long as possible anyway"

Jack grinned and Ianto was reminded why he didn't often show his teeth. Of course, he could just be insecure but still… "And you'll always be able to count on me, Ianto."

"I know that sir"

Jack cringed "I told you not to call me that with my voice. It creeps me out"

"Sorry. Well, shall we go down now?"

"I suppose." He stood up "this should be fun"

Ianto followed suit "What exactly is your definition of _fun_?"

Jack just laughed in response and clapped Ianto on the back as they left the office.

…

Owen and Gwen both had looks of disbelief on their faces after Jack had explained what happened (sans a few details of the event of course).

Owen looked from one to the other "'old on, so you mean to tell us that, you're Jack" he pointed at Ianto's body "and you're Ianto?" he pointed at Jack's.

"Yes" they both said

"And that block thing did it?" he pointed at the object that was now being examined eagerly by Tosh.

"That's right" said Jack

"_That_ is just weird"

"Well" said Gwen "I have to say, I didn't notice anything unusual. You two play each other very well"

Out of the corner of his eye, Jack saw Tosh smirk. "Well, Gwen that was the idea. Sure, we didn't mean for this to happen but once it did I thought it would be a good opportunity to see things from the perspective of one of my employees."

"That's what Boxing Day is supposed to be for" Ianto deadpanned.

Jack sighed "Thank-you Ianto, I'll keep that in mind. So, Owen when things get back to normal, you and I are going to have a long talk."

Owen looked in Ianto's direction suddenly looking guilty "If you say so"

Jack was about to ask Tosh if she had anything yet when Ianto suddenly snapped his fingers "Ianto?"

"Hermes" he said "Hermes can read all three of those languages."

"I'm sure he can" Jack agreed "but how do we contact him?" Actually, Jack thought, what if Hermes was the one behind this?

"_I'm still not sure if I believe you" Jack had told him at one point in their conversation._

_Hermes had smirked, rather wickedly and said "Jack, never say that to a god"_

"Don't worry" said Ianto "he told me how to reach him if ever I needed him"

"Oi" said Owen "who's Hermes?"

"Hermes Danann" said Jack "an old friend of Ianto's. He worked for Torchwood London"

"But I thought" said Gwen in her confused voice "that we didn't trust anyone from Torchwood London"

"Does that include me, Gwen?" Ianto said in a whisper

"No, of course not Ianto, I just…"

Jack waved a hand "Don't worry about it. I've met Hermes, we can trust him. All right, Ianto you can use my office to contact him and we need to talk. Everyone else, stay down here. Tosh, keep working on that thing in case we can't get a hold of Hermes" Jack led the way to his office.

Ianto followed obediently and shut the door behind him.

…

"You really are an idiot, aren't you?" Ianto said sputtered "You should never say that to a god, especially a _trickster_ god."

"So then do you think he's behind this?"

"I can't think of anyone else" Ianto climbed down into Jack's little hidey hole and found his trousers from the day before. He got out the business card Hermes had given him—he made sure to always keep it with him, just in case. He then climbed back into the office "this is a number I can reach him, it's really long but…hand me my mobile please"

Jack passed him the mobile and Ianto started dialling 'BETA-555-7774-2789-9OP-THETA-KAPPA-PHI-DELTA-865-120-0042-OLYMPUS extension H'

Over his shoulder, Jack said "What kind of a phone number is that?"

"Shhh, it's ringing. I can't believe it but its ringing. At least I think it's ringing, it doesn't sound like a normal ring tone" he switched to speaker phone so Jack could hear as well.

"Hmm, it's got a beat and you could dance to it." Jack tapped his (Ianto's) foot "it sounds like drums at a Greek concert.

Finally after an agonising few seconds a voice came on the line, surprisingly in English but with a thick Greek accent. Ianto had no doubt that it was Hermes, except it was obviously a recording.

"Good evening, well evening if you're in Greece. You've reached the residence of Hermes, Olympian messenger god and god of commerce, travellers, thieves, patron of the magic arts, inventor of the lyre, and what else is there? Oh well, not important right now. I'm sorry but there's no one available to take your call at this time. Please leave your name, number and time you called along with a message as to why and I'll be sure to get back to you as soon as I can. Oh, Ianto and Jack if this is you, congratulations on figuring out that I'm behind your little mishap. There is no need to have Miss Sato translate the block, it doesn't really say anything. You'll switch back after you've walked a whole mile in each other's shoes. Not sure how long that will take though. I hope you learn a few things while you're at it. KaliSPEra, that was Greek for good evening or good afternoon, whichever time of day it is."

After all that there was a beep but Ianto found he couldn't say anything so he hung up.

Jack looked at the phone then at Ianto "Why again are you friends with this lunatic?"

"I wish I knew" he sighed "how much longer do you reckon before we've gone a mile?"

* * *

**There, I think that's a good spot to end that little "mishap". The boys will be switched back by the next chapter and we'll learn what else they learned later on.**

**To citizens of the UK: I'm not sure if I got the point of Boxing Day right. There was an episode of MASH where they learned that on Boxing Day within the British ranks, the officers switched places with the enlisted men. Then to boost morale Colonel Potter decided to try that at the 4077. It was quite funny. Sorry, but the Hallmark channel reruns the show 4 times a day every weekday.**

**Don't forget to review and tell me what you think. It didn't turn out exactly how I planned but that happens sometimes and body switching is really hard. Actually, I just had a hard time writing interactions with the other three. I'll have to re-watch some episodes before really getting started on the next chapter but I do have a preview for you.**

_Next time on Not Unbreakable…_

"_Captain Harkness"_

"_Inspector Jones" Jack shook his hand "always a pleasure"_

"_For you I'm sure, for me it's annoying. Kindly remember that I am a happily married man"_

_Jack grinned "I don't mind"_

"_Jack" said Gwen "Can you stop flirting please?"_

_The Inspector's eyebrows shot up "PC Cooper? I heard you'd been transferred to Special Ops. But Torchwood? Captain, I knew you wanted someone with police experience, but a beat cop who likes to pretend she's an inspector?"_

_Owen snorted a snicker_

_Jack narrowed his eyes "She's plenty experienced, Inspector"_

_Inspector Jones quirked an eyebrow in the exact same way Ianto does "She your new play thing then?_

_Beside him Gwen blushed furiously and resisting the urge to punch the Inspector and turned back to Ianto who always calmed him down. However, it was only Owen standing there "Owen, where's Ianto?"_

_Owen looked left and right and behind him and then shrugged "I don't know. Coffee?"_

**Reviews make me happy and the happier I am, the faster the next chapter will be up. TTFN**


	11. Family Reunion pt1

**A/N:29 October 2010: This has been edited since originally posted.**

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* * *

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Jack and Ianto were in the archives for a quick snog session, quite enjoying being back in their own bodies after a full twenty-four hours as each other. Jack's hand was wandering to the buttons of Ianto's waistcoat when Tosh's voice came over the com system.

"Jack."

Reluctantly, Jack pushed away from Ianto "Yeah, Tosh?"

"A Detective Inspector Gwillym Jones is requesting Torchwood's presence in Butetown. He says he's a friend of yours."

Ianto's eyebrows shot up but immediately his face became impassive once more. Jack figured it was because he recognised his brother's name but he certainly was friends with Gwillym Jones. They had met in 2000 and Gwillym (Gwill, to his friends) was still a beat cop then. And like Gwen, he had stumbled upon Torchwood by accident. It was a complicated story that gave Jack a headache but essentially, Gwill had remembered that Jack had worked with his mother and had sworn that the public wouldn't discover the true nature of Torchwood. He himself had refused Jack's job offer, preferring human criminals. Gwill was also immune to Jack's charms, claiming it was because he was loyal to his wife, Anwen. The two had been friends since, Gwill being the one Jack could talk to outside Torchwood and his wife was a great cook. What was interesting was that like Ianto, Gwill never asked Jack uncomfortable questions, and never expected Jack to tell him anything about his past. In fact the only personal thing Gwill had ever really asked him was "What the hell do you eat to stay looking so good? Do you have access to the apples of immortality or something?" Jack suspected he knew or had some idea but didn't say anything about it.

Now that Jack thought about it, Gwill and Ianto had a lot in common: they quirked their eyebrows in the same way, they were definitely brothers. Perhaps it was time to get Ianto talking to his family, at the very least admitting he had one. Jack grinned "Okay Tosh, you stay here. Owen and Gwen meet me and Ianto at the SUV."

"Are you sure you want me to go, sir?" Ianto asked, betraying no sign of emotion.

"Yes, you need to get out more. Come on."

"Sir, may I remind you that the last time you said that I was nearly eaten by cannibals."

Jack kissed his forehead "Don't worry, I'm sure there's no cannibals in Butetown."

…

* * *

A dead body at been found at a local high school, Gwill had called Jack because it did not look like a human had killed it. That and several of the students and faculty had reported unusual sightings. On the drive there Jack periodically checked the rear view mirror to have a glace at Ianto—the young Welshman was very pale but other than that he showed no trepidation of meeting with one of his brothers. Of course, Ianto hadn't even mentioned that Gwillym Jones was his brother, hadn't mentioned any of his siblings. Granted, Jack hadn't even told Ianto he knew a great deal of his family but still… Jack wondered what exactly had happened to cause Ianto to run away at sixteen. Gwill had always been mute on the subject.

"Captain Harkness" Gwill smiled ever so slightly.

"Inspector Jones" Jack shook his hand, enthusiastically "always a pleasure."

"For you I'm sure, for me it's annoying. Kindly remember that I am a happily married man" humour sparkled in his green eyes.

Jack grinned "I don't mind and I don't think Anwen would either. I'm sure she'd love to watch."

"Jack" said Gwen, annoyed for some reason "Can you stop flirting please?"

Gwill's eyebrows shot up "PC Cooper? I heard you'd been transferred to Special Ops. But Torchwood? Captain, I knew you wanted someone with police experience, but a beat cop who likes to pretend she's an inspector?"

Owen snorted a snicker.

Jack narrowed his eyes "She's plenty experienced, Inspector."

Gwill quirked an eyebrow in the exact same way Ianto does "She your new play thing then?" the tone was teasing and serious at the same time.

Beside him Gwen blushed furiously and resisting the urge to punch Gwill, Jack turned back to Ianto who always calmed him down. However, it was only Owen standing there "Owen, where's Ianto?"

Owen looked left and right and behind him and then shrugged "I don't know. Coffee? Maybe he went to the loo."

That didn't make sense; Ianto had gone before they left. Why did he disappear? Why would he be afraid of facing his brother? Jack wondered for the umpteenth time.

"Anyway, Jack" Gwill said "is it a crime to poke fun at my brother-in-law's girlfriend?"

Jack's attention was suddenly back on the older of the Jones boys "What was that?" talk about coincidence.

"It's true Jack" Gwen confirmed "Gwillym's wife, Anwen is Rhys's sister."

"As interesting as that is" Owen piped up "I'd like to take a look at the body before Christmas."

Jack nodded "Right, Ianto will catch up. Okay, Gwill lead the way."

"Right, follow me. The body was found by my brother Gavin, he's a maths teacher here…"

…

* * *

Ianto had in fact ducked into the first men's room he had seen. He just couldn't face one of his siblings, not after how they had parted ways. So, he went into the restroom to gather his thoughts [read 'hide'] and he slipped into the stall farthest from the door. He knew he was being cowardly and pretty much AWOL. One just wasn't supposed to run off like he did when one worked for Torchwood. But Ianto couldn't help it; he was so ashamed about how he had left his family he just could not face any of them.

The sudden death of Cadfael Taliesin Jones Sr. on January 5th 1999 had hit all his children hard, his eldest and youngest especially. Of course, all of his children would swear that he was the best father in all creation, not to mention the best tailor. After his wife, Iseult had vanished he had a lot more on his plate. Along with ten children (one getting ready for University) he also had a business to run. Despite the ready help from his father and his mother-in-law, he still took control of all parental duties.

He loved all of his children equally and unconditionally but he was closest to his eldest and youngest which was why his death had hit them, Cadfael Jr. and Ifan especially hard. Sr. and Jr. had resembled each other the most and did have similar interests (not tailoring). More importantly, Cadfael Jr had helped a great deal with his younger siblings after his mother had disappeared. He even delayed going to university for a couple of years.

Cadfael Sr.'s youngest, Ifan or Ianto as he preferred had been very ill as a child so they spent a lot of time together (such as going to the Electro), and more than that Ianto was the only one who wanted to follow in his father's footsteps and become a master tailor.

As was tradition in the family the eldest son got the Jones house and the money was evenly split among all the children, well evenly as possible anyway—there wasn't a lot; Cadfael Sr. had had a gambling problem. Because he was still in school and not yet of age, Ianto was placed in the care of his eldest brother. Cadfael Jr. was fifteen years Ianto's senior so they didn't have a whole lot in common. It was very difficult adjusting to the new living situation for Ianto. Cadfael was married with two children already and Ianto was not fond of babysitting, mostly because he didn't get paid. And he honestly felt that he deserved some compensation because he swore that his two nephews were quite literally the spawn of the Christian devil. Not only that, but Ianto was the only teenager in the house as his closest sister Gwenora (two years his senior) was away at culinary school. It wouldn't have been so bad but Ianto refused to get along with Cadfael for one reason and one reason only: Cadfael had closed and decided to sell their father's tailor shop.

"But you can't sell it!" Ianto had told him "you just can't. Caddy, please."

Cadfael sighed heavily "Ianto, I have to, there's no one to run it."

"I can do it. Tad was teaching me, I'm almost as good as he was."

"Ianto, you're still in school."

"So? Who needs school? Mam never finished."

"Yeah and look what that got her. Forget it Ifan, I'm not having you drop out. The shop's being sold, my decision is final. We need the money to pay Tad's debts."

"But Cadfael…"

"No, I don't want to hear another word about it."

"I hate you."

Cadfael rolled his eyes "Sure you do."

That hadn't been their worst argument, not by a long shot.

…

Ianto's eye stung with the memories but he refused to cry. There was no way he wanted to risk anyone hearing him. Suddenly, as he was about to dare another trip down memory lane two men entered the restroom. Ianto brought his knees up to his chest so they wouldn't see his feet.

"I wish you'd quit smokin'" the first voice was American, south of the Mason Dixon Line if Ianto knew his accents and geography "It's like kissin' an ashtray."

"Well, you didn't seem to mind a few minutes ago" the second man was definitely Welsh and sounded very familiar "Anyway Christopher, what are you doing here? Gwill already called Torchwood."

"And that's exactly why I'm here: A mysterious death at the school where my boyfriend teaches…I'm U.N.I.T, Gavin. I want in on this."

Gavin? No, please no. Out of them all, Gavin was the last one Ianto could face. Gavin was four years his senior, his closest brother but the last time they had seen each other, after their grandmother's funeral, Ianto had stolen from him. Gavin was trying to help Ianto, keep him off the streets and away from drugs but at the time Ianto wouldn't listen.

"That's not the reason Christopher Charleson. You have something against Torchwood; I can see it whenever you talk about them" Damn; that was definitely Gavin. Ianto had had that same stern voice directed at him. Wait, hold on; Gavin was gay? Or bisexual, who could tell?

Christopher sighed "All right, darlin' if you must know; I once dated Captain Harkness" Ianto's eyes widened and he bit back the gasp that was threatening to escape "he's a flighty moral-less bastard and I don't want him near you."

Ianto was about ready to go out there and punch the guy; Jack was flighty, yes. He was a bastard, yes. But he had morals, Ianto knew he did and nobody insulted his Jack and got away with it. Wait, now when did Ianto start thinking of Jack as _his_?

Ianto then heard what sounded like a kiss on the lips and then Gavin said "You can trust me, Cariad, you know that."

"You, yes" another kiss "him, no way. He's got this thing about him; I swear that man can get anyone into bed."

"Well, I promise not to be tempted."

"I know, darlin' but U.N.I.T wants me here anyway. Hold on a sec," footsteps came toward Ianto, his stall door jiggled "Now, why is this locked?"

Ianto started to sweat, he hated it when he was caught eavesdropping, especially when he hadn't meant to be doing it in the first place.

"Ya know," the American southern drawl above him did cause Ianto to gasp. He looked up and there was a rather dashing head and shoulders with a UNIT cap. Christopher was obviously standing on the toilet in the next stall "it helps to shit if ya got your feet on the floor and your pants down."

Ianto's face must have been red as his bathrobe and all he could say was "Hello."

TBC…


	12. Family Reunion pt2

**Would you believe that what I originally had planned in my head did not come out of my fingers?**

**Chapter Summary: Ianto reunites with two of his brothers. UNIT has been dealing with the same type of alien killings in CA, so enter Major Jessica Hughes. You'll see.**

**If this gets confusing I'm sorry, but roller coasters can be awfully fun, unless they go upside down in which case you won't get me on it for all the chocolate in Pennsylvania.**

**That quote at the end of the last update "Life forms, lovely little life forms, where are you?" is from Star Trek: Generations, said or sung rather, by Data after he got an emotion chip. None of you got it. Aren't there any Trekkies in the audience? **

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter**

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* * *

**

"And who are ya?"

Ianto sighed and stood up—there was no getting out of this one. He left the stall "Jones. Ianto Jones. I'm with Torchwood."

Christopher left the other stall "that's what I thought."

But Ianto's eyes were on his brother. Gavin hadn't changed much in the three years they had seen each other last. He looked a little older, more mature and there were dark circles under his eyes, as if he hadn't had a proper night's sleep in awhile. They looked alike he and Ianto—the main differences being the colour of their eyes (Gavin's were brown), their hair (Gavin's was curly) and Gavin's face was a bit thinner. Like Ianto, Gavin was wearing a suit except his was a bit more lively whereas Ianto was wearing his simplest one, the one that made him (at least in his opinion) look like a mortician but Jack liked it so…

Gavin gave him a small smile "Bore da, Ianto" his voice was quiet.

"Bore da, Gavin"

"What are you doing in here?" he spoke in English, most likely so his boyfriend could understand what was being said.

"I was gathering my thoughts. I didn't mean to listen"

"And I suppose you were 'gathering your thoughts' because you heard that Gwill was the inspector on the case?"

Ianto lowered his eyes, Gavin knew him too well.

"Thought so. This is my boyfriend Christopher, but I imagine you already figured that out."

Ianto allowed his attention to shift to the UNIT officer who was in full uniform and obviously a lieutenant. Ianto held out his hand "Hello."

Christopher shook his hand "Pleasure to meet ya, Ianto" unlike Jack, this American pronounced Ianto's name correctly.

Ianto turned back to his brother and began to lose the fight with the sting in his eyes "I'm sorry" he told Gavin in Welsh "I'm so sorry, Gavin. I…you were trying to help me and I…" he was in his brother's arms.

"It's okay, baby brother, it's okay. I forgive you; I forgave you a long time ago. After all that's what family does, we forgive each other."

Ianto sobbed onto Gavin's shoulder, no longer caring if anyone saw him cry.

Gavin patted his back "There now, Yan that's enough. This suit is custom made."

Ianto's sob turned into a laugh and he stepped back from his brother who was dabbing his own eyes with a handkerchief. Ianto took out his own handkerchief and blew his nose "Sorry."

Gavin smiled "Just as long as you didn't get snot on me" Gavin put his hands on Ianto's shoulders "Here let me look at you. You've cleaned yourself up nice, baby brother. You could do with wearing some colour though. Just black and white makes you look like a mortician."

Ianto smirked "Since when are you the fashion police? By the way, are you gay?"

Gavin chuckled "As a maypole. Well, not quite like a maypole."

"Bisexual myself."

Christopher cleared his throat "I hate to interrupt but Ianto, if I know your captain and I think I do, he's probably wonderin' where ya are."

…

* * *

The victim was male, that much was obvious considering he was completely naked. Age and cause of death would take a little longer for Owen to determine. There were large teeth marks of some kind covering the torso and face but they were too large to be a weevil. The body had been found in the teachers' lounge, so while Owen was examining it, Jack and Gwen talked with Gwill.

"Is any of the staff missing today?" Gwen asked the inspector.

"All present and accounted for" Gwill answered "and no, we haven't completed checking the students yet."

Jack glanced around the room, it was a typical teachers' lounge "You said your brother found the body?"

Gwill nodded "That's right, I told him to wait here but he's the third youngest so he never listens, not to me anyway. So, Gwen has Rhys met Jack yet?" something mischievous sparkled in the Welshman's eyes. "How is my bother-in-law doing by the way?"

Gwen blushed, clearly hearing the insinuating tone in Gwill's voice "Rhys is just fine, Inspector but let's concentrate on the case, shall we?"

Gwill's eyes suddenly narrowed at something behind Jack "Gavin Kendal Jones, where in the name of Cernunnos have you been?"

Jack turned around to see a man in his late twenties who resembled Ianto greatly and Jack was relieved to see that Ianto was with him. However, he was not happy to see that someone else was: Lieutenant Christopher Charleson, American UNIT office based in Britain and one of Jack's ex-boyfriends.

Gavin smiled at his older brother "Relax Gwill, I just went out for a fag."

"That much is obvious" Jack found himself muttering while staring pointedly at Christopher.

Christopher mocked a gasp and put a hand over his heart "Why Jackie boy, I had no idea you could make a joke like that. Hell, I didn't even know you knew what that word meant in American."

Jack ignored him and looked at Ianto whose eyebrow was quirked "Ianto, where were you?"

Ianto came over to him "Sorry about that sir, I have no valid excuse for it. I just needed to gather my thoughts."

"Which is Jones code for 'hide'" Gavin said.

Choosing to ignore that for the moment, Jack looked back at Christopher "What are _you_ doing here? UNIT doesn't need to be involved"

"UNIT wants me here and Gavin is my boyfriend so tough cookies, Cap'n."

Gwill waved his hands around "Hold on people, one thing at a time. This is starting to turn into a soap opera." He looked at Ianto "Ianto? Well, I'll be damned."

"Hi Gwill" Ianto said softly "Bore da."

Gwill pulled him into a tight hug, lifting him off the floor and mumbled something in Welsh.

Ianto patted his brother's back and said in English "Uh, it's nice to see you and everything Gwill, but I can't breathe."

"Right sorry" Gwill let him go "look at you, you're all grown up. Except" he pinched Ianto's cheeks "you still got a bit of a baby face" Ianto turned bright red and Jack suppressed a chuckle "So, Ifan Carwyn Jones, you actually work for Captain Brains-in-Pants, here?" he waved a hand towards Jack.

Ianto turned even redder but Jack just grinned 'Captain Brains-in-Pants' was Gwill's 'affectionate' nickname for him "That's right he does and he does it looking good in a suit" Jack used his flirtatious voice on purpose.

Ianto sighed "Sir, I don't believe it's wise to engage in harassment in front of a police officer."

"He's right you know" Gwill looked at him with a look that clearly said 'stay away from my brother or I'll have your balls for breakfast'. And of course, Jack had no problem believing it as Gwill was taller than him and was built like Hercules. "Now, next thing" he turned to Gavin "I told you, calling your boyfriend wasn't necessary."

Gavin opened his mouth to say something but Christopher spoke first "He didn't call me, Gwill. I'm here on orders."

Seeming to accept this answer Gwill then turned to Owen "Dr. Harper, have you determined the cause of the death yet?"

Owen looked up from where he was kneeling next to the body "I'd say shark attack but there's no signs of the body having been in the water."

Christopher sighed "You sure?"

"Positive."

Jack took a step closer to his ex "Have you seen this before?"

"Not personally, but we've had reports from the San Diego office about the same thing over there. It's happened about five times, victims dying from what looks like a shark attack either a Great White or a Tiger shark but no signs of having been in the water. All found varying distances away from the ocean. One was found even so far as San Diego's East County."

Jack sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair "Great, that's all we need: border hopping aliens."

"Unless this one is different than the ones in California" Ianto pointed out.

Jack sighed again "Ianto, why did you have to say that?" he looked back at Christopher "Do you know what was found when the autopsies were done?"

"Except for what honestly looks like the bacteria from a shark bite, nothing out of the ordinary."

"All right" Jack turned his attention to Gavin "Mr. Jones, when exactly did you find the body?"

Gavin took a step forward "First of all, please call me Gavin. Do you know how many Mr. Joneses there are in the world? Anyway, I found him when I came in this morning, about six I think. Other than him there was nothing else off about the room."

"Okay" he turned back to Christopher "Lieutenant, does the San Diego office have a designated officer to the case?"

"Yeah, I can give her a call if ya like but she might wanna come over."

"Just get a hold of her and I'll talk to her myself."

"All right and Jack if you're gonna talk in an American accent can you at least pronounce my rank the American way? Repeat after me: lieutenant, _lu-te-nent_, lieutenant. By the way, I don't believe you're really American and if you are, you've been here too long."

Now Jack remembered just why they broke up: Christopher's Yankee pride had gotten annoying. Jack felt sorry for Ianto's brother. And ignoring Christopher's American pronunciation lesson Jack said "Okay, Owen, Christopher and dead guy back to base with me. Ianto and Gwen, interview the staff and students; I wanna know about these unusual sightings. Gwill, if you could help with that, I'd appreciate it."

Gwill smiled slightly "That's nice Jack, leave the Welshmen with the hard work but only if you allow me and Gavin to borrow our brother when we're done."

"Fine, Ianto when you've finished with the clean-up you can have the rest of the day off."

"But sir…"

"Have fun with your brothers."

…

* * *

After they got what they needed and did what they needed to do, Gwen took a taxi back to the Millennium Centre, leaving Ianto alone with his brothers.

"So, Ianto" Gwill put a beefy arm over his shoulder "fancy a walk in the park?"

…

Of course, one didn't argue with Gwill when he had an arm around you; that would have been suicide. However, if Ianto had known at the time that Gwill meant a park that was quite a bit away from the Hub, he would have risked it. The three brothers didn't speak at all during the drive there. Just as Ianto was thinking of how interesting it would be to put cyanide in Jack's coffee, the car came to a stop.

"Right then baby brothers" Gwill said cheerily (in Welsh of course) "we're here" they got out of the car and walked a bit before Gwill spoke again "First thing's first Ianto, how are you?"

"I'm okay" he looked from green eyes to brown to assure his brothers that he really was okay "but I suppose there's room for improvement" after all he could never lie to Gwill.

"Always is" Gavin agreed "are you getting enough to eat?"

Gwill looked him up and down "You look like you could stand to gain a few."

Ianto sighed "Gwill, you're friends with Jack; you should know that with my job, it's very difficult to have regular meals. But I have been trying, really I have." _If I didn't, both Jack and Hermes would have something to say._

"Speaking of Jack, how'd you get involved with Torchwood anyway?"

"Yeah" said Gavin "You had plans to be a tailor once."

"Well Cadfael ruined those plans when he sold the shop" Ianto spat bitterly.

Gavin sighed and rubbed his temples "I'm not even going to go there. Just answer Gwill's question because I'd like to know as well why the youngest member of this family is risking his life going after aliens."

"You're dating a UNIT officer"

"Yeah and from what I hear Torchwood is a lot more dangerous" Gavin's tone was biting but only in a concerned older brother way.

"Would you rather I was dead in a gutter? Because that's probably where'd I'd be if I hadn't joined Torchwood" Ianto tried to keep his voice even but he failed miserably.

"If you hadn't run away in the first place you wouldn't have even had that risk," Gavin shot back.

Gwill stepped between them then "Children, that's enough" the tone of his voice reminded Ianto of their father "What's done is done. What matters is here and now because that's all we ever have because any one of us can get hit by a bus. That's why we never leave things unsaid and we never leave angry."

"I know that" Gavin's voice was weary "he's the one who…"

Gwill held up a hand "Gavin Kendal, forget it. Ifan Carwyn, do you remember this family's motto?"

Ianto sighed and sank onto a nearby bench "We're a family."

"Exactly" Gwill sat on one side of him and Gavin sat on the other.

Ianto looked Gavin the eyes "Gav," he reached into his jacket pocket for his billfold "I'd like to pay back what I took, plus interest."

Gavin smiled and put an arm around his shoulders "I'll just take the fifty quid thanks."

"Now, Ianto" Gwill also put an arm around him "how did you get involved with Torchwood?"

Ianto remembered meeting Gwyddion and smiled "Would you believe divine intervention?"

…

* * *

Meanwhile back at the Hub…

Christopher handed Jack the phone "Her name is Major Jessica Hughes."

Jack smiled into the phone "Major Hughes, I'm Captain Jack Harkness and how are you doing today?"

"Tired, Captain, very tired. Do you have any idea what time it is over here?" the young sounding voice on the other end sounded very familiar to Jack but he decided to think about it later. He glanced at his watch, it was about one o'clock which meant that it was about five in the morning in California.

"I'm sorry Major, I didn't mean to wake you but this is important…"

"Yes, yes" the major yawned "Lieutenant Charleson told me you had a fish attack. We haven't had an attack in a few days so…" she yawned again "I'm sorry; captain but I haven't had my coffee yet. Can I call you back in like half an hour?"

"Sure, I don't want you falling asleep on me," after all no woman has ever fallen asleep on Jack.

When she called back, sounding more awake and less cranky, she told him that since there haven't been in any attacks over there recently that the "beastie or beasties" probably moved on to Cardiff. Before the attacks started in California there had been reports in Florida and New England. Whatever was doing it clearly didn't have a set pattern. Jack agreed to have Major Hughes come to Cardiff to aid the investigation since she was apparently the "fish alien type thing" expert.

"By the way Captain," she said as they were about to say their good-byes "do you know of any decent day care places over there? I'm afraid I don't have anywhere to leave my daughter here."

Jack's eyebrows shot up "You have a kid?"

"Yes, her name's Serena. She won't be in the way, just as long as I find someone to look after her."

It was just a coincidence, Jack told himself. The sound of Jessica's voice and her daughter's name were just coincidences. "I have someone that can baby-sit… for free too" Ianto was going to put cyanide in his coffee after this but Jack could take it.

"Great, thanks then we'll see you tomorrow."

…

* * *

Back at the park…

After he finished his story about joining Torchwood, Ianto's brothers looked completely gobsmacked.

Gwill was the first to speak "And you're not lying are you? Ianto, that is absolutely amazing. You actually met a god."

"Yes I did" for the time being Ianto decided to leave out being friends with one as well "and I suppose it really is thanks to him that I'm still alive."

Gavin leaned back "Certainly is one to tell the grandchildren, if you ever have any that is."

Ianto thought about the little boy he hadn't been able to see in over two months and decided that later he'd give Ora a call and see if he could set up a weekend visit or something. He had a well paying full benefits job now; he shouldn't be neglecting Cory like this. He blinked and changed the subject "So, does anyone want coffee?"

Gwill stood up and checked his watch "I'd love to but I have to get back to work."

"I don't," said Gavin "school's closed for today. Although, I'd rather have a milkshake; Caffeine and Gavin do not mix well. I could use some lunch too, you can use the fifty quid you owe me and call it even."

Ianto couldn't help but smile "You got it."

"Well boys, I should so," said Gwill "by the way, Ianto, Yule is coming up."

"So?"

Gavin lightly whacked his shoulder "Jones family Yule dinner, you ninny. You should be there."

Ianto looked at his feet "Cadfael won't want me there"

Gwill put a hand on his shoulder "Yes he will; big brother completely regrets what happened. Besides, the two of you have some serious talking to do."

Ianto looked up "I know but with my job…"

"I will have a chat with your captain, if you like."

"No" Ianto said quickly, maybe too quickly "I'll ask him, I will."

"Good. See you boys later" with that Gwill started to walk away.

Gavin stood up "Oi! Can you at least give us a ride back to my car?"

"Sorry but I really have to get back to work. Call a taxi."

Gavin sank back onto the bench one Gwill was out of sight "I don't know about you, Ianto but I have this sense of déjà vu."

Ianto chuckled a little "Yes, I was twelve, you were sixteen and Gwill was nineteen. It was Samhain as I recall. He wanted to scare us."

"Yep; he'd been listening to Aldwyn's wife way too much about American Halloween traditions."

"Yeah, what's her name again? Stephanie, right?"

"Yes, and that tells me you need to catch up on what been going on in this family."

Ianto sighed "Can we get lunch first?"

"Sure because it doesn't look like Gwill's gonna come running back wearing a werewolf mask."

"A very cheesy werewolf mask" Ianto laughed.

"You were scared enough at the time."

"So were you, you peed your pants."

"I did not!"

"Did too."

….

* * *

A bit later…

Ianto returned to the Hub around six so he could get his car and see if Jack needed anything.

"Hey Ianto" Jack greeted him with a grin as Ianto came through the cog door "I thought I gave you the rest of the day off."

Ianto smiled at him, in a much better mood than he was this morning "You did sir, I came for my car and to see if you wanted another pot of coffee before I head back out."

"Oh god, yes. Did you have fun with your brothers?"

"I did sir, thank-you. Gwill had to go back to work after a bit but Gavin and I had lunch together" Ianto started up the coffee machine.

"That's nice. Ianto, I have a favour to ask."

"Anything Jack."

…

* * *

"You want me to what? Where in my job description does it say that?" Well that's what Ianto wanted to say and would have said if he wasn't such a good little boy. So, he agreed and the next day found him and Jack awaiting Major Jessica Hughes and her little girl. They were waiting just outside the Millennium Centre where Jack had told Major Hughes to have the taxi take her.

The taxi pulled up and out stepped a short blonde woman wearing a brown oil skin duster and an Indiana Jones hat with a little blonde girl at her side. Out of the corner of his eye, Ianto saw Jack visibly pale. Major Hughes paled as well and Ianto did a double take when he saw that the little girl had Jack's eyes.

* * *

**Right then, okay:**

**My reason for the whole shark thing: Last week was Shark Week on the Discovery Channel.**

**Here's a run down of Ianto's siblings to have for reference later on. This includes birth years and careers:**

**Cadfael Jr.: 1968, accountant**

**Aldwyn: 1970, lawyer**

**Geraint: 1972, doctor**

**Edythe: 1974, psychologist**

**Drystan: 1974, porn star/actor**

**Gwillym: 1976, inspector**

**Rhiannon: 1978, stay at home mum**

**Gavin: 1979, teacher**

**Gwenora: 1981, chef**

**I think you know when Ianto was born and what he does.**

**Preview time, preview time:**

"_**Where were you?"**_

"_**I should be asking you that, you're the one that disappeared. You were supposed to be home for dinner."**_

"_**I know, I'm sorry. I remember kissing you the baby and the next thing I know it was two years later. I don't know what happened. I went home and you and the baby were gone. What are you doing here?"**_

"_**What are **_**you**_** doing here?"**_

_**Jack didn't answer**_

"_**Well then"**_

**Still interested? I hope so.**

**Now, if you don't know where **_**this**_** quote is from then I just don't know what I'm going to do with you people: "Nobody tosses a dwarf!"**

**TTFN**


	13. Family Reunion pt3

Jack was the first to recover "Major Hughes" he held out his hand "Captain Jack Harkness."

Major Hughes took the offered hand "Call me Jessica, Captain."

"In that case, call me Jack" he released her hand and turned to the little girl "You must be Serena."

The little girl who couldn't be more than five by Ianto's reckoning held out her hand "Call me Rini."

Jack's hand engulfed hers "Hello Rini" if Ianto hadn't been standing right next to him he wouldn't have noticed the crack in Jack's voice. Jack straightened up because he had bent his knees to shake Rini's hand "Jessica, Rini, this is Ianto Jones, he'll be looking after Rini while we work."

Ianto offered his hand first to the Major, "Major."

She took it and grinned at him "Nice to meet you, Ianto Jones and please call me Jessica" she winked and Ianto felt himself blush.

"Tha-that is very lovely perfume you're wearing, Maj—Jessica."

"Never wear any."

Before he could stop himself Ianto said "You smell like that naturally?"

Jessica just raised her eyebrows suggestively and Jack laughed and Ianto found himself remembering when they caught Myfanwy.

_"Must be your aftershave."_

_ "Never wear any."_

_ "You smell like that naturally?"_

_ "Fifty-first century pheromones, you people have no idea."_

Choosing to ignore that, Ianto crouched down and held out his hand to Rini "Hello Rini, I'm Ianto and it looks like you'll be spending the day with me."

Rini took his hand "Hi Ianto, that's a funny name. Is it Mexican?"

Jack snorted and Jessica said "Serena Josephine" in what Ianto assumed was her "mother voice."

"It's all right" Ianto told her and then he said to Rini "Actually, it's Welsh but I think I can understand why you might make that assumption."

"What's Welsh?" she asked. She was really very cute; her hair was curly and so blonde it was almost white. Ianto guessed she must spend a lot of time outside and she had a little tan.

Ianto smiled "I'll tell you all about it during our day together, how's that?"

"Okay."

Ianto stood up and asked Jessica "Can she have sweets?"

"Sure, if you don't mind her bouncing off the walls."

"I'll take her to the park if that's all right."

"Sure."

Rini tugged at Ianto's sleeve "I like parks, do you have swings?"

Ianto smiled again, this little girl was just too cute "I bet we can find some. It'll be an adventure."

"Yay!!"

"Well" Jessica clapped her hands together "I suppose, Jack we should get to work then."

"Absolutely, I'll take you in by way of the scenic route" Jack offered her his arm, she didn't take it.

Jessica hugged and kissed her daughter "Be good for Ianto, okay sweetie."

"I will Mommy."

She shook Ianto's hand again "I really appreciate this Ianto, I'm gonna have to repay you some how" her voice sounded flirtatious and she was cute, Ianto had to give her that but he was a one person at a time kind of guy.

"It's no trouble at all, ma'am."

Jack clapped him on the shoulder "Ianto, remind me to give you a raise."

Instead of saying the obvious response of 'You always give me a raise' (there was after all a child present) Ianto said "I doubt you'll need reminding sir."

Ianto could have sworn he heard Jessica mutter "He _never_ needs reminding" and if Ianto's theory was correct, she probably did. It must be Jack's ex-lovers week.

Jack looked down at Rini "I think I can trust you to return Ianto in one piece."

"Uh huh."

Jessica snorted "Not if she's anything like her father."

Jack sighed "Right, let's just get to work, Major. Have fun Ianto."

…

* * *

They walked in silence for a bit, they would have been at the lift by now but Jack was delaying taking her down just now. So, he led her on a round about route.

Jack broke the silence by asking "Do you like Starbucks?"

"Yeah"

"Good, because that's all we have today. Ianto usually makes the coffee" he wasn't looking at her and she wasn't looking at him.

"That his official job or something?"

Jack let out a small chuckle "No, his official job title is 'archivist' but he actually keeps things running, I just give the orders."

"Ah, so he's like Radar then?"

"Who?"

"Never mind" she said in her 'you are such an idiot' voice "he's cute though, you're archivist."

"I know" Jack said simply.

"I love his accent."

"So do I."

"Have you got him in the sack yet?"

Jack couldn't stop himself from grinning "Yep."

Jack heard the suggestiveness in her voice as she said "Any good?"

Jack paused a moment to think about the things his Ianto did to him "Absolutely amazing and I'll be honest with you; he's so good; he's on top more than I am."

She looked at him then with raised eyebrows "No joke?"

"No joke."

She smiled slightly "Well, he must be something if the Beau of Boeshane lets him take the reigns. I might have to try him out sometime, if that's all right."

"You'll have to ask him, Puddin'" Jack did not mean to use his nickname for her. In fact he didn't even know he remembered it after over a century. They lapsed into silence once more.

"So," she broke the silence this time "Jack, is it?"

He nodded "It was convenient. What about you?"

"Same. I like Jack; I think it suits you much better than your real one"

"Thanks" they were back to just walking and not looking at each other "you don't really look like a Jessica."

"Call me Jessie then or you can always call me 'major'. After all, I have always out ranked you."

Jack stopped and looked at her "That's weird because I seem to remember you always being under me"

She looked up at him and a corner of her lips was curved upwards "As if, _I_ was always on top."

"Nope, sorry that was me."

"Please, I rode you like a bull, ya know considering you're full of it."

"You should talk" oh how he missed bantering with her.

She eyed him up and down "You look older."

"Well it's likely been longer for me."

"Did you gain weight?"

Jack just knew he needed to work out more, despite what Ianto thought "You're not exactly Neptunia Fyrestryke yourself."

Jessica narrowed her eyes "I oughta kick you in the balls for that. How dare you compare me to that silver skinned bimbo?"

They stared at each other for several moments before Jack found his lips on hers and his arms around her, lifting her off the ground. He didn't know or care who moved in first. Her arms were around his neck and she was giving as good if not better as she was getting. They pulled apart for air but Jack held her close still and he looked into her glistening hazel eyes.

"Where were you?" his voice was quiet.

"I should be asking you that, you're the one that disappeared. You were supposed to be home for dinner." Her voice was shaky

"I know, I'm sorry; I remember kissing you and the baby and the next thing I know it was two years later. I don't know what happened. I went home and you and the baby were gone. What are you doing here?"

"What are _you_ doing here?"

Jack didn't answer, how could he even begin to answer?

"Well then" she pushed out of his embrace "I'm still your wife you know or has it been so long that you forgot that little fact?"

_Of course I didn't forget. How could I? _"We'll talk about it later, I promise. Jessica," he forced the name out "I'll tell you everything but right now, we probably should get to work."

She nodded "Lead the way."

He finally took her to the waterfall. She looked at him with her head cocked to one side "You work in a sculpture?"

"Underneath the sculpture, Blondie."

"Well, how am I supposed to know that?"

"Just step up here with me" he held out his hand.

"Last time you said that to me, we ended up having sex on top of the Stratosphere VI in the Vegas Galaxies."

Jack smiled "You know something, I think you and Ianto are going to get along just fine. Come on, Puddin', just trust me okay?"

She took his hand and hopped up on the slab with him, it immediately started to lower, "Whoa, trippy."

Jack finally really noticed her outfit "Nice outfit, where's your whip?"

"I don't know, you had it last," she deadpanned.

Jack burst out laughing and she joined in, they laughed all the way down.

"Jack" a feminine Welsh voice broke through Jack's laughter and Jack realised that he and Jessica were at the bottom with Gwen, Tosh, Owen and Christopher all staring at them.

He got control of himself "Okay people, this is Major Jessica Hughes."

Jessica had also ceased laughing and she glanced around at the gang "Pretty" she said.

Jack began introductions "Major, I imagine you already know Lieutenant Charleson."

The UNIT officer tipped his cap to her "Ma'am."

She smiled at him "Always the southern gentleman. Still gay?"

"Completely, ma'am."

She snapped her fingers "shucks."

Jack then introduced his team "This is Dr. Owen Harper."

"Hello Dr. Owen Harper, you're cute, you free tonight?" Jessica didn't hesitate.

A touch of pink rose in Owen's cheeks and he was clearly staring at Jessica's breasts.

"That's Toshiko Sato, our technical expert and that's Gwen Cooper."

Jessica smiled and batted her eyelashes at them "And what do you do Gwen Cooper, stand there and look cute?"

Owen covered his mouth and his shoulders were shaking. Gwen turned bright red.

"Although" Jessica continued "I have to say, Toshiko Sato, you're much prettier."

Jack led her off the slab "Major, I believe you're here for a reason." _Did I say you could flirt with my team?_

She sighed "Oh all right, let's get to work on finding the big fish."

…

A couple hours later, Jack thought of a way to get Jessica alone so they could talk.

"Major, may I buy you some lunch?" he used his best flirtatious voice so his team wouldn't think anything out of the ordinary.

She smiled at him "Absolutely, Captain."

"Great" he looked around the Hub "keep an eye on things" he said to no one in particular but his gaze was resting somewhere near Gwen "and notify us if something comes up."

…

* * *

"Why "Rini"?" Jack asked once they were away from the Plass "we didn't call her that before. I thought we were gonna call her Rena?"

'Jessica' shrugged "It's a recent development; she chose it herself. The girl that usually baby-sits her on weekends is a fan of Sailor Moon."

"Who or what is Sailor Moon?"

"It's an anime, in the dubbed version Sailor Moon's name is Serena and at one point her daughter comes from the future and is called Rini." She sighed "it's complicated and it'll only give you a headache."

Jack's hands were in his pockets "Rini's a good name; if she likes it…" he trailed off and shuffled his feet "does she…ah…does she know about me?"

Jessica leaned against a lamp post and looked up at him "Not what you look like, otherwise she would have said something. I haven't shown her the photo album."

"You brought it with you?"

"Of course I did. And she has yet to learn that her daddy is the one that carried her in his tummy for nine months."

For once Jack didn't cringe at the memory "Why not?"

"Couldn't have her spouting that off at kindergarten now could I?"

Jack laughed a little "No, I guess not."

Jessica had a wry grin "I mean the girl likes to tell stories, just like her daddy."

Jack smiled "Did I tell stories?"

"Well duh, how many times did I hear the one about when you and that Cockney sociopath got stuck in a two week time loop for five years?"

Jack cringed this time "Don't remind me."

"Serena's missing school by the way."

"Why'd you bring her then?"

"I thought I recognised your voice so I took a gamble."

Jack leaned against the other lamp post "You always were better at that than me."

"Not when it comes to slot machines, I always lose because I can't seem to quit when I'm ahead. Actually, last weekend I went to a casino, not sure which reservation it was on though…"

"Reservation?"

"Yeah, most of America's casinos are on Native American reservations, anyway so I think it might have been Barona…"

Jack held up a hand "I'm not the only one who tells stories, Jessica."

"So you don't wanna hear about the really hot threesome I had?"

"Tell me later; I got you alone for a reason."

"Right, well you disappeared first, you talk first."

So, he told her; he told her everything, even the part about not dying.

"Wow" she said after he was finished "just wow."

"Is that all?"

"Well what else should I say? You didn't even have to tell me all that. I didn't need to know all the details."

"I wanted to tell you" Jack took her hand "I trust you."

She held on "What about your team? Do they know your secrets?"

Jack sighed "Gwen and Ianto know I can't die. Gwen found out by accident. I told Ianto."

"Why?"

Jack allowed himself a smile "Funny story; we sort of switched bodies for a day. I had to tell him in case something happened. I told him about being here for over a century."

"Why?"

That was a question Jack had been asking himself "I don't really know."

"You must trust him."

"I do actually, I really do" despite the 'Lisa incident'. Jack took a breath and exhaled "Your turn."

Jessica let go of his hand and took off her hat. She began twirling her hair around a finger "You're not the only one who had trouble from the Agency."

Jack tensed "What happened?"

She shrugged "I don't know what you did but it must have been something to tick them off. They started coming after me and Serena. They went after your mother too."

Jack felt sick and he sat down on the curb "Did they…" he forced himself to keep eye contact with her, steeling himself for what he might hear.

"I don't know what happened to her. I'm sorry." She sighed "Jack, you're the only one who knew that early twenty-first century California was my favourite era. I knew we'd be safe there. When we got there I destroyed my wrist strap so they couldn't track me. I knew that whatever you were doing, you would never do anything to put Serena in danger."

"I wouldn't put you in danger either. I loved you then and I still love you" he stood up and took her hands again.

She rolled her eyes "Jack, we both know that I never owned your heart and you never owned mine. We're not soul mates."

No, they weren't; Jack had never believed in soul mates. Of course, now he wasn't so sure since Hermes had told him there was such a thing as reincarnation. But if Jack had a soul mate, it certainly wasn't the woman in front of him. His thoughts briefly flashed to a certain Welshman but he quickly brought those thoughts back to the present "But we did love each other didn't we?" he did love her, after all he'd loved a lot of people who weren't his soul mate "enough to create that little girl together?"

She smiled sweetly at him "Obviously."

Now that that was taken care of, Jack asked "How'd you get involved with UNIT?"

"Psychic paper at first but then they caught on. I told them my story and they agreed to help. Besides I really am an alien fish type thing expert, you know that."

"Wow, UNIT must be nicer in California 'cause they wouldn't do that here."

"I know."

"How long have you been here?"

"Almost five years. Serena will be six in February, near as I can figure."

"Why did you bring her here?"

"Why do you think? She needs a father, Jack. She needs her daddy. She needs _you_." She poked Jack's chest with a finger

"How can you ask me that after what I told you? I can't die, Jessica…"

"So? Jack, she deserves to know who her daddy is. I told her stories about you, good ones and she loves you. She doesn't remember you but she loves you and she wishes she could meet you. Every night, she stares up at the sky and I hear her say 'Star light, star bright first star I see tonight, I wish I may I wish I might have this wish I wish tonight: I wish I could meet my daddy and hug him'" Jessica had tears streaming down her cheeks "every night, Jack, every night she says the same thing. She tells all her friends that her daddy is a hero. Jack, only you can make her wish come true. I know you love her, the look on your face when she was born. She came out kicking and screaming and the doctor put her in your arms and she calmed down…"

It was when Jack took Jessica in his arms that he realised his cheeks were wet too. He remembered that day, over five years in Jessica's past, over a hundred in his and over three thousand years in the future on a planet that hadn't even been discovered yet.

_Being pregnant was not fun, he had decided for umpteenth time since the first trimester. No wonder women petitioned for men to share their pain. Damn equality anyway. If men were meant to bear children then they would have been doing it ages ago. Why the hell did he agree to this again? Being stampeded by a herd of rampaging Denver Dalmatians had to hurt less than labour (that's the planet Denver by the way not the city and their Dalmatians looked nothing like the by then extinct earth dog). He of course now knew why it was since the dawn of time, women were bearing the children, it made perfect sense: men couldn't handle it._

_Of course, he never would have agreed to this if his wife could bear children herself but due to an accident she couldn't. So, they went to a specialist where they mixed her egg with his sperm and inserted it into his 'makeshift uterus' for lack of a better term. He had to take certain pills of course, vitamins and hormones and such. As a result he acted much like a pregnant woman would, only worse according to his wife._

_So now he was in labour, the painkillers finally working with his wife at his side and his mother at his other side. Fortunately he didn't feel a thing when they sliced him open to get the baby out who was indeed kicking and screaming._

"_Congratulations" said the doctor "you have a very healthy baby girl."_

_She was tiny and pink and covered in goop but he loved her at first sight and immediately forgot his crankiness. She was placed on his chest and he put a tentative hand on her. She hushed and looked up at him as if to say "what the hell is going on, mister?"_

_He didn't know if he was laughing or crying as the nurse scooped her up to clean her and have her mother cut the cord. But he did know one thing; that baby girl would be Daddy's princess, without a doubt._

"I missed so much though" he sniffed.

"She's only five, Jack and I have plenty of pictures and video all of which I brought with me in case it was you on the phone. It's not too late because I know if any female can own your heart and wrap you around her little finger, it's her."

Jack drew a sleeve across his eyes "My job…"

"Is very dangerous, just like mine. Serena knows that someday I might not come home, she's very smart for her age you know."

"Fifty-first century brain cells."

"Exactly but you Jack you will be able to come home to her. I'm not asking for us to get back together but I am asking if you'll be there for her when I can't."

"Yes" and he meant it. He missed a lot of people but of them all, he missed his little girl the most "Yes I will."

…

* * *

They walked for awhile, neither really hungry till they came to a park. They saw Ianto pushing Rini on a swing set, both of whom seemingly oblivious to their immediate surroundings. It seemed that they were having an in-depth discussion of Winnie-the-Pooh.

"But if he didn't eat so much honey, he wouldn't get stuck" Rini was saying as she soared into the air.

"But he's supposed to eat honey" Ianto caught her and pushed her again "it's part of his charm and those bees should know that. Those bees should just give Pooh their honey so he wouldn't have to take it." It looked like Ianto was enjoying himself.

Jack had to really work at surpassing his laughter; the sight was just so adorable.

Jessica squeezed his hand "_That_ is the cutest thing."

Ianto caught Rini again, spun her around and crouched to meet her eyes "I am the authority on all things Pooh in these parts, little miss. My word is law" his eyes twinkled and he had a smile on his face.

Jack couldn't take it any more; he sank to the ground in laughter. This caught their attention.

Rini hopped off the swing "Mommy!" she ran toward Jessica who scooped her "wait till I tell you. We had soooo much fun."

"Really? Well, you'll have to tell me later. I have a surprise for you first."

"Really? What?"

Ianto walked over to Jack who was still on the ground, trying to get control of himself. Ianto held out a hand "Need a hand sir?"

Jack took the hand and stood up, still grinning "I'm sorry, but that was really cute. 'Authority on all things Pooh.'"

Ianto smiled slightly, eyes dancing "I am though, granted I'm no Mike Rowe but…"

Jessica burst out laughing, the joke though was lost on Jack "Oh I love Mike Rowe" Jessica squealed "you get the Discovery Channel?"

Ianto nodded "You gotta love satellite…except when it storms."

"Oh totally know what you mean, even though I don't have satellite. I have Cox."

"What?" Jack asked, there were some words even he wouldn't say in front of a five year old.

"C-O-X, Cox, it's a cable company in San Diego."

"Oh, okay, I was gonna say…"

"Anyway," Jessica set Rini down and looked up at Ianto "Ianto, could you leave the three of us alone for a few minutes, please? There's something Jack and I need to talk to Rini about."

"Certainly ma'am" Ianto smiled "I'm already drowning in fifty-first century pheromones."

Jack sighed "Figured it out have you?"

"I don't know how or why nor does it matter. What matters is that you're here now. I'll just be over there" with that he walked to a tree and took out his mobile.

…

* * *

Rini was quite pleased to learn that Jack was her daddy; apparently Ianto had been filling her head with nothing but good things about him. Yep, Ianto was definitely getting an actual pay raise and maybe a holiday for this. Jack just agreed to push Rini on the swings when Ianto's voice rose from near the tree. Jack, Jessica and Rini all turned to look and listen.

"Ora, I'm his father, I have a right to see him." He was saying into his mobile "well if he's sick, that's all the more reason I should see him."

As curious as he was, Jack pulled Rini and Jessica farther away so they wouldn't hear him.

Jessica looked up at Jack in confusion "he has a kid?"

Jack nodded "a six year old I think. He doesn't know I know."

Jessica's eyebrows shot up "A six year old? But Ianto can't be more than…"

"Twenty-three" Jack supplied "I think his son's mother is a little older than him. He sends her money every month, child support I think. I don't know the story but Ianto signed the boy's birth certificate."

"How do you know he sends her money?"

"An incident happened a couple months back that caused me to look into his activities."

"What happened?"

"I hid my half converted cyber girlfriend in the basement" the Welsh voice caused them both to jump.

Jessica put a hand to her heart "Ianto, how'd you sneak up like that?"

"Oh, I'm very good at sneaking ma'am, ask the captain."

Jack put a hand on his shoulder "Ianto, we didn't mean to over hear any of your phone call."

"I gathered that when you moved away. Thank-you sir" he looked at something over Jack's shoulder "Rini, I told you not to climb that" his voice had risen just a trifle.

Jack and Jessica turned; Rini was climbing a tree directly across from the one Ianto had been standing under.

Jessica ran towards her "Serena Josephine, get down from there!"

"She can't" Ianto said "she had to jump last time. I caught her, don't worry. Sent us to the ground" he looked at Jack "Sir, how many more members of your family do you think will land on me in the near future?"

Jack couldn't help but smile as he remembered falling on Ianto in the warehouse "I wouldn't worry, she was only the second one" he went over to the tree "step aside shorty" he said to Jessica and he reached up "come on Rini sweetheart, come to Daddy."

Fearlessly, Rini jumped and Jack caught her easily "So, Rini how 'bout spending the night with Daddy?"

"So Mommy can have time to herself?"

"So Daddy and Rini can get to know each other" out of the corner of his eye, Jack saw Jessica lick her lips at Ianto.

Other than a slight eyebrow lift, Ianto kept his composure.

TBC…


	14. Family Reunion pt4

**Where I am it's still August 19****th****, so Happy Birthday to Ianto!**

**Anyway, this update took longer than I wanted, but I had a bit of trouble. I suck at action scenes.**

**I'm going rate this chapter M for insinuations and stuff.**

**Chapter summary: The main part is that a shark alien thing shows up at the museum when Ianto and Rini are there.**

**I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

Jack watched as everyone else left the Hub that evening and was intrigued though not surprised to see Jessica follow Ianto. Oh, if his Welshman was incoherent in the morning Jessica would get a stern talking to. After all Ianto said he would make coffee before taking Rini for the day. Not that coffee was the most important thing of course.

He felt a tug on his sleeve "Daddy?"

Jack's heart melted at being called 'Daddy'. He smiled and scooped Rini up "Yes, Sweetie?"

"What are we gonna do tonight?"

That was a good question, he had practically no experience with kids—he tended to avoid them whenever possible. He looked up at Myfanwy's cage "Do you like dinosaurs?"

"Not really. I like tigers, like Tigger"

"Well, I know; let's go out to dinner and you can tell me all about your favourite things"

"Okay" she smiled

"Okay, let's go. Do you…uh…need to use the bathroom or anything?"

"Nope"

"Okay then. We'll use the special exit" he carried over to the lift "hold on"

"So, what do you like to eat?" Jack asked her once they got to the top.

"Waffles"

He set her down once he stepped off the slab "Waffles? Well, I don't know if anyone would be making waffles right now. What do you like to eat for dinner?"

She bit her lip as she was thinking—a habit she must have gotten from her mother "Spaghetti" she said

"Spaghetti it is" Jack smiled "and I know just the place and we can walk too" he took hold of her hand "so, where did Ianto take you for lunch?"

"McDonalds, I had a Happy Meal and I played in the play place"

"Did you have fun?" they started walking

"Uh huh, I like Ianto, he's really nice"

Jack smiled "and I don't even pay him to be nice, he just does it on his own" Ianto was definitely getting a raise. Jack glanced back over his shoulder at the waterfall and then he had to wonder what he would do if the Doctor were to appear right now. He looked down at the little girl who was holding his hand and skipping happily alongside him. He looked back at where the Doctor usually parked. He looked back at his daughter—he smiled and squeezed Rini's hand. He would keep walking with his daughter, that's what he would do. If he heard the TARDIS right now, he would ignore it, even if it meant waiting another hundred years for his answers. He wouldn't leave his baby, not again.

"Okay, Rini baby, tell me about what you and Ianto did after Mommy and I went back to work."

"Ianto taught me a joke"

"Okay, tell it to me"

"How do you drive a baby buggy?"

"I don't know; how do you drive a baby buggy?"

"You tickle its feet, silly" she looked up at him with a grin.

"Is that right?" he smiled (he'd been doing a lot of that today) "what about a five year old?" he grabbed her playfully and started tickling her tummy.

She laughed and shrieked "No, I'm not ticklish"

"Not ticklish?" he laughed "then why are you laughing?"

"Daddy!" she started tickling him back.

And Jack was extremely ticklish—just ask Ianto who could be a wicked, wicked young man. "Okay" he gasped "okay, you win, you win" he scooped her into a hug "let's get to dinner, I don't know about you but I'm starving" he set her down again, keeping hold of her hand "what else did you and Ianto do?"

"We went for ice cream and then we went back to the park"

Jack fake pouted "You went for ice cream without _me_?"

"You were working but Ianto said 'cause you like ice cream we'd take you next time."

"Well as long as that's settled"

"Daddy, I think Ianto has a crush on you"

Jack stopped dead in his tracks and was very thankful that they were not yet in the restaurant. Because if he had been putting something in his mouth right then, he was sure he would have choked. "Wh-what? What makes you think that?"

"He kept saying how nice you are and how he likes playing with you."

Jack felt his face go red "Playing with me?" what was that supposed to mean?

"Uh huh, I asked him if you played together and he said you play games together all the time"

Oh, of course, "play" to a child meant something very different than it did to an adult like Jack "Oh, yes we do, I, uh, like playing with him too. He might tell you that I cheat but don't believe him. He's just jealous that I always win"

Rini smiled "he said you would say that"

Scratch one paid vacation for the Welshman then.

…

* * *

It was early morning and Rini was still fast asleep so Jack quietly moved up to his office with the knowledge that Ianto would be in soon. Jack was dying for some Ianto coffee. Sure enough as he was heading the kitchen to wait, the alarm sounded and the cog door rolled aside, letting in Ianto and Jessica. Ianto looked a little flushed while Jessica looked awfully smug.

She didn't? Knowing her though, she probably did. "Good morning" Jack greeted them as they entered the kitchen

"Bore da" Ianto replied, he sounded a little out of it. Well, after a night with Jessica, Jack didn't blame him.

"Buenos dias" Jessica said cheerily

"Rini's still asleep." Jack told them "I think the time difference is exhausting her. I didn't get her to sleep till after three."

"That was only three hours ago" Jessica said

"Well" Jack shrugged "we were having fun. We were finger painting. She made something for you, Ianto"

Ianto had been busy fiddling with the machine and he turned around "Dw i ddim yn deall."

Jessica was flipping a Welsh-English dictionary she must have pulled out of her coat "I think that was Welsh for 'I don't understand'. Isn't that nifty? I made him forget English"

Jack flicked her arm "You are so bad. I gather you gave him your best?"

"Yes I did" she grinned "I had to convince him you wouldn't mind though."

"Hmm, you'll have to do better. _I_ can make him forget English _and_ Welsh. But I can also make him remember it." He pulled Ianto into a gentle kiss to which the Welshman responded immediately. Jack pulled away when he felt Ianto relax.

Ianto smiled at him "Good morning Jack. What were you saying?"

Jack chuckled "Rini painted you a picture"

"Really? That was sweet of her. Is she still asleep?"

"Yeah" Jessica said "apparently she didn't get to sleep till after three"

Jack made himself look sheepish when Ianto rose an eyebrow at him but Jack reminded him that Rini probably wasn't used to the time difference "Anyway" Jack changed the subject "at least you didn't forget how to work the coffee machine"

"Don't worry sir, I'll never forget that"

"May I endeavour to try?"

"Do you really want to dare?"

Jack thought about it "No I suppose not" Jack then pulled Jessica to him "I think I want a good morning kiss from you too" he kissed her and she complied allowing his tongue entry. When they pulled apart, he licked his lips "Mhmm, I see you had Welsh sausage for breakfast"

Jessica grinned cheekily "Well you would recognise the taste"

Ianto nearly dropped a coffee mug and was bright red.

…

* * *

Ora, the mother of his son (they weren't together long enough for her to be referred to as an ex-girlfriend) had told Ianto that if Cory (short for Corrigan) was feeling better the next day then her boyfriend would be taking him to the museum. It could have been a lie, he supposed but Ianto wanted to risk it anyway. It had been too long since he'd last seen his little boy and he felt extremely guilty about it. So, in the hopes of seeing his son there, Ianto decided to take Rini to the museum. That and it would also be an educational experience for the little American girl. Now, when did Ianto start caring about education? Hmm, he must be getting old or something.

As they walked about the displays, Ianto kept his eyes open for a little boy that was basically a miniature version of him…without the suit that is. Hopefully, Cory hadn't changed much in two months but one never knew with kids.

Ianto was just about to explain some Celtic artwork to Rini when human screams diverted their attention; of all the times for Ianto not to have his gun.

Rini clutched at his hand tighter "What's going on, Ianto?"

"I don't know" people where running into the area they were in, screaming about a shark and in a general panic. Alarms were sounding as people tried to hide in displays and leave through emergency exits. Ianto was at a loss for what to do; he was the clean up guy, he had hardly any field experience and he had no idea how to deal with people while a situation was happening. He always handled them after. He heard a growling sound coming closer.

"Ianto?" Rini tugged at his sleeve "what do we do?"

If Ianto were by himself he would probably try and fight the alien off till help arrived but he wasn't by himself. He scooped Rini up and did what everyone else was doing, he ran. How he managed to run, hold Rini and get out his mobile he wasn't sure but he did. Jack answered on the first ring

"Tell me you're not at the museum"

Ianto ducked behind something and set Rini down but still held on to her "Wish I could sir, but…uh…"

"We're on our way, is Rini all right?"

"Fine sir, I won't let anything…"

"I know" Jack hung up.

Ianto put his mobile back in his pocket and pulled Rini closer "Your daddy sends his love" and he prayed that Ora had been lying to him about Cory coming to the museum.

"Is Daddy coming to help?"

"Yes, he'll be here soon"

Things started to quiet down, either everyone had gotten away or…Ianto didn't want to think about it. What seemed like an eternity ticked by though it must have been mere seconds before Ianto dared a peek. At first the area was empty but then he heard the growling again and heavy footfalls though they were some distance away, there might be enough time to get out. But then he heard something else, smaller footsteps…much smaller. A little boy ran into the area, white as a ghost and crying. He hadn't seen him in over two months but Ianto would know his son anywhere. Cory tripped and fell; the creature was getting closer.

Every man comes with a switch that has three options; the first is that this switch will never be looked at, never noticed, and if it is then the switch can go two ways much like a light switch. The bottom says 'off' and the top says 'on'. However, this switch that every man comes with says something different. One side says 'I fathered a child' and the other says 'I will _be_ a father'. Very different things those. For awhile now, Ianto's switch was wavering in the middle but in an instant, the instant where his son was in danger, that switch became permanently fixed to 'I will _be_ a father'. Forgetting everything else, Ianto ran from his hiding place to protect his son.

"Cory!" Ianto skidded on his knees and took Cory in his arms just as the shark alien came in the area. It was a Great White by the looks of it.

"Tad, I knew you'd be here, I just knew" Cory sobbed "I heard Mammy telling you…"

The shark then did something Ianto did not expect; it spoke "Mele Kalikimaka"

For a moment Ianto stopped being scared, that statement was just bizarre "First of all it's 'Nadolig Llawen', second, it's not even December yet and third, does this look like Hawaii to you?"

The shark came closer and Ianto did the only thing he could think to do—he threw his mobile at it. The action only seemed to anger the alien further. Ianto put himself between his son and the shark "Do what you like to me but don't hurt my son"

The shark came closer still and on reflex Ianto shut his eyes but the attack never came instead Cory said "Tad, it has that girl"

Girl? What girl? Oh, God no. Ianto opened his eyes and he could swear his heart stopped. The alien was holding Rini who amazingly only looked a little peeved. Ianto knew he should do something, anything but he couldn't move; he was frozen.

"You're a very mean shark" Rini told the alien to which the alien responded by bringing her closer to its mouth. Rini then punched the thing just under its nose. It froze just long enough for her to go for its eyes—she poked them and it let her go. She ran to Ianto "Are you okay, Ianto?"

But Ianto could only say "Where'd you learn that?"

She smiled a smile that looked much better on her than it did on Jack and said "Discovery Channel"

Ianto was watching the alien who seemed to be getting its bearings; Ianto pulled both children closer to him. It took another step towards them and then stopped dead as what seemed to be a harpoon suddenly appeared through its abdomen. It keeled over to reveal Jack standing there, the light from a window making him look like some sort of really sexy angel.

He was holding some sort of weapon and despite the cheeky grin his eyes were stone cold "I just knew this harpoon gun would come in handy some day"

Ianto took a few deep breaths and loosened the vice-like grips he had on Cory and Rini. He looked to his son first "Cory, are you okay?"

"I think so. Tad, I thought sharks are only supposed be in water"

"So did I" he looked at Rini "are you okay?"

"As a fiddle" she said cheerily and then she held out her hand to Cory "Hello, I'm Serena Josephine Hughes and you are?"

Was she flirting with him? Well, knowing her father… One day, Ianto might laugh about this and perhaps he might cry later on but right now he was still a little dazed.

Still clearly confused Cory shook her hand anyway "Corrigan Aloysius O'Riley. Call me Cory though"

"Call me Rini" Rini was then in her mother's arms.

"Oh thank the Powers you're all right" Jessica was crying

No, thank the Discovery Channel, Ianto thought, 'cause I sure as hell didn't do a damn thing. Well, maybe the Powers had something to do with it.

"Tad?"

Cory's voice brought Ianto's attention away from his thoughts and out of his daze. He pulled Cory into a proper hug "Cory, I'm so sorry I haven't been able to see you lately. I missed you so much" Ianto was now oblivious to everything but his son.

"I missed you too, Tad"

Ianto pulled back but kept his hands on Cory's shoulders and finally took a good look at him. "Here let me look at you, I think you got taller since I saw you last"

But he hadn't gotten taller, Cory was thinner than Ianto remembered paler too and his eyes were far too tired and red for a boy his age. There was also a large hand shaped bruise on his arm. Ianto kissed his forehead "so, what were you saying before we were interrupted by that shark?"

"I heard Mammy tell you that Rob was taking me here. She lied, Tad and I'm not sick either."

Ianto felt his brows furrow "Are you here by yourself?"

"Uh huh"

Okay, one thing at a time Jones, Ianto told himself "How did you know I'd be here?"

"I hoped you might wanna see me but if I couldn't find you I was gonna find your tourist shop"

A valve somewhere near the switch had been turned and Ianto was filling up with some sort of parental juice "You're six years old, Corrigan you shouldn't be out by yourself. How did you even get here? All sorts of things could have happened to you besides being nearly eaten by a shark" his voice had risen

Cory looked down at his feet and sniffled "I ran away"

"Why?" Ianto's eyes fell to the bruise on Cory's arm. He titled Cory's chin up "look at me"

"I don't wanna live there anymore, Tad. I wanna live with you" tears were leaking out of his eyes.

Ianto gently touched Cory's arm "Is Rob Mammy's boyfriend?"

"Uh huh"

"Did he do this to you?"

Cory nodded

If blood can actually run cold then Ianto's was just now, "Does he hurt you a lot?"

Cory was sobbing now "he does bad things to me"

There was no need for further information at least as far as Ianto was concerned. Ianto took him in his arms "Its okay, Tad's here. I'm not going to let him hurt you again."

Ianto felt a hand on his shoulder, accompanied by 51st century pheromones. He looked to see Jack looking at him with concern.

"Take as long as you need, Ianto"

"Thank-you, sir" Ianto stood up, lifting the still sobbing six year old with him "are you sure?"

Jack nodded "You take care of that little boy; you don't need to be worrying about anything else right now"

"Thank-you" Ianto said again

"If you need anything…"

"I know"

Jack patted his shoulder "and thank-you" Jack inclined his head towards Rini.

"She was the one who saved us, sir. I'm sorry" he held Cory a little tighter.

Jack nodded, understanding "Don't be. Here," he handed Ianto his mobile "take this for now, yours is broken."

"Thank-you"

….

* * *

Much later that night after things had settled down and Jack had sent everyone else home, he and Jessica decided to have some fun (Rini was asleep in his quarters). They had brought some of Jack's films up to the conference room.

"I would think" Jessica said as she sorted though his film collection "that men like you would have a more extensive porn collection"

Jack leaned back in a chair "Relax Puddin', those are just the ones I have on DVD" there were one hundred some odd of them "and I have more on order. Not that I have a whole lot of time to watch them that is"

"Poor, poor Puppy, don't you ever take a vacation?"

"Can't and must you call me that?" 'Puppy' was her nickname for him.

"Well you call me 'Puddin'" she stuck her tongue out at him and he grabbed it with his teeth pulling her into a kiss.

When they pulled apart Jack asked "So, now that we're alone, what did you think of my Welshman?"

She smiled "Oh, so he's _your_ Welshman is he? Look at you; you're red as a tomato"

Jack's face was indeed red, he hadn't realised he had referred to Ianto as _his_. "Just answer the question"

She leaned back "Well, once he warmed up to me…I was more than happy to let him take control." She licked her lips "that boy has got some tongue on him"

The alarm sounded right then, signalling someone's entrance to the Hub. Jack and Jessica went to see who it was. It was Ianto, looking weary and exhausted.

"What are you doing here?" Jack asked, he remembered telling to Ianto to take as much time as he needed to sort things out with his boy.

Ianto gave him a small smile "I had a craving for my Torchwood blend" he made his way to the little kitchen.

Jack followed, Jessica went back into the conference room, giving them privacy. "You doing all right?"

Ianto sighed heavily "Cory's in protective custody for tonight."

Jack put a comforting hand on his arm "You wanna talk about it?" Jack had overlooked Ianto's feelings before; he wasn't going to do it again.

Ianto sighed again "I took him to the hospital after we left the museum and I called Gwill, asked what I should do. The doctors found signs of abuse…Cory had left the house before…that _thing_ could scrub him clean. They took samples from me…" he trailed off, looking sick to his stomach.

"It's part of the process" Jack said

"I know, I know" Ianto violently turned on the coffee machine "but it _is_ my fault though" his eyes shone "when I came back to Cardiff I shouldn't have let him continue to stay with his mother. I always had this feeling that she'd let something like this happen. But no, I was too damned concerned about Lisa! And I knew, I knew in here" he pointed to his head "that there was no hope, that I could never save her" tears poured from his eyes as if the Hoover Dam had just burst.

Jack put a gentle hand over Ianto's heart "but you didn't know in here"

"But I should have, I should have cared more for my child then my girlfriend! Should have cared more for him than my stupid fucking job!"

Jack pulled him into a hug and rubbed circles on his back "Shhh, Ianto, it's okay"

Ianto pushed away from him "No, it's not bloody okay, Jack! None of its okay, too much is happening too fast and I don't think I can handle it" then something must have switched in Ianto because he started shouting in Welsh.

Jack could understand Welsh quite well actually (just couldn't speak it for the life of him). However, Ianto was sobbing too much and talking too fast for Jack to make much of what he was saying. At one point he thought Ianto said something about Hawaiian speaking chickens…or was that sharks? Oh well, Jack had been wrong before. He handed Ianto a napkin who promptly blew his nose. Jack then asked "Did they arrest the son of a bitch?"

Ianto nodded "One of my brothers is an attorney; he's going to help be get custody. Shouldn't be too difficult though, considering."

Jack put his hands on Ianto's shoulders "How 'bout you let us get your mind of things for tonight?"

Two beats later "Okay, I-I think I'd like that"

"Great" Jack grinned "Jessica and I are watching porn in the conference room"

If Ianto thought that statement was odd, it didn't show "Okay" his voice was still a little shaky "I'll be up with the coffee in a few"

…

They had set themselves comfortably on the floor, Ianto had brought popcorn up with the coffee and he had removed his jacket and tie and unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt (it was the blue one that brought out his eyes).

"Okay" Jessica popped in a DVD "This one stars a Steel Oaks and is titled 'Tumble for three in the Jungle'. Don't worry Ianto; I assure you that they will get more creative with names in three thousand years"

Jack laughed "No they won't, don't lie to him. If anything they'll get worse"

"Well," Jessica flopped in Jack's lap and put her legs over Ianto's. "I was _trying_ to make him feel better about the future"

"It's quite all right" Ianto smiled "just knowing that you two are from there makes me feel much better"

Jessica looked at Jack "Was that an insult?"

"It's hard to tell with him sometimes. Someone press play"

"Well, where's the remote?" Jessica asked looking around.

Ianto looked around and he said in all fake innocence "Up Jack's bum?"

Jack threw some popcorn at him "There's only one thing I allow up my bum and you know it"

A piece of popcorn had landed on Ianto's thigh, he picked it up and put it in his mouth "And who is going to clean this up?"

"I will" Jack said

"Promise?"

Jack thought about it and smiled sheepishly "Now, Ianto I don't like to make promises"

Jessica giggled "Oh I have so got to see you boys in action sometime"

"Well," Jack kissed her cheek "maybe later on, if Ianto's up for putting on a show"

Ianto seemed to consider it a moment "How much will we charge?" though there wasn't a smirk on his face there was one in his eyes "Anyway, Jack why not just use that nifty wrist strap of yours to make the film play? I'm not sure if we even have a remote."

"Good point" Jack conceded and did just that.

This Steel Oaks guy was hot, muscular and most likely had Celtic blood. But there was something very familiar about him, Jack thought.

"Turn it off" Ianto said suddenly. "Turn it off, turn it off, oh god, turn it off"

Jack and Jessica both looked at Ianto whose eyes were shut tight and even in the dim light looked positively green. Then Jack figured it out. He turned off the film "Okay Ianto"

"What's the matter, cutie?" Jessica asked

Ianto stared at the blank screen in absolute horror "That was my brother"

"Which one?" Jack had to ask, after all there were six of them and Jack only knew two.

"Drystan…oh god, I didn't think he had it in him. He was always the geek growing up…into roll playing and stuff. Oh god, I'm scarred for life" he moaned

Jack put an arm around him and pulled him closer to him and Jessica "I can think something much more entertaining than porn films anyway. Yan, you still have that stopwatch?"

"You broke it sir, remember?"

"Oh well, we'll have to do without. How 'bout a game of three person naked hide and seek followed by some ménage à trois?"

"Ooo, I'm game" Jessica said cheerily.

Ianto looked a little nervous "I've never…er…done that"

Jack kissed his neck "It's really very easy. You'll catch on" he pulled back "but we'll start with naked hide and seek"

Ianto tugged at his shirt collar "Just as long as the same rules apply to her, _especially_ rule number eleven"

"What's rule number eleven?" Jessica asked

"I think" Jack said "that it's 'Jack is allowed to seduce Ianto into submission'"

"No," Ianto said "its Jack is _not_ allowed to seduce Ianto into submission. If we're going to play this game then you have to abide by that rule too, Jessica"

"I can do that"

"Ha" Jack laughed "don't believe her, Ianto, she's worse at following rules than I am. You do remember being incoherent this morning?"

"He wasn't incoherent" Jessica protested "he just forgot English"

Ianto wiggled out of Jack's arm and from under Jessica's legs and stood up "Can we just start naked hide and seek before this turns into 'Who can make Ianto incoherent the fastest?'"

"All right" Jack and Jessica both stood

Ianto leaned against the table "I'm not it by the way"

* * *

**You're all gonna have to use your imaginations for what comes next, 'cause I suck at sex scenes too. But perhaps, later on I might flashback to it. Please review, they make me so very happy.**

**Oh and I said I would use the name 'Aloysius' eventually. Oh and Ianto will have his son's surname changed to Jones.**

**Preview:**

_**Jack put the phone down "That was Gwill, there's been another 'shark attack'"**_

"_**But it's dead isn't?" Jessica asked "it's lying there in your morgue ready for the sushi chef"**_

_**Then Ianto remembered something "Ma'am, didn't you say that some of the killings in California had been done by a **_**tiger **_**shark?"**_

"_**Yeah, why"**_

"_**The shark in the morgue is a Great White"**_

_**Jack and Jessica's eyes widened and at the same time said "Holy shit"**_

**TTFN**


	15. Shower Talk

**Please forgive me but the preview scene in the last update will not be appearing in this chapter, in fact it might not be appearing at all. See, Hermes showed up and it looks like things will turn in a different direction than I originally intended. I think this roller coaster of a fic has gotten away from me and I need to put it back on track, at least so it's not as wobbly. I also have writer's block at the moment so it will be a bit before the next update. I need to plan out the rest of the fic and I would like to work on my original fiction. So, consider me going on sabbatical. I go back to school on the 22****nd**** , which is good and I'll tell you why; granted, updates might be further apart but I get my best ideas when I'm supposed to be learning something, especially math and I am taking a math class...have to, stupid requirements.**

**Anyway, I'm just taking a little break from writing fanfiction right now. Who knows, it might not even be very long.**

**I hope you'll be patient with me and don't abandon me or anything. I love all my readers and I feel horrible that I have writer's block.**

**Well, I hope you enjoy this little chapter and as always any suggestions I will gladly take into consideration.**

* * *

In Ianto's dream, they kissed. On the floor of that warehouse, Jack underneath him, they kissed, with a sleeping dinosaur nearby. It was wonderful. Jack had landed on top of Ianto, sending them both to the floor. "Sorry" Jack said and then they rolled out of the way of the falling reptile. They were laughing, lips mere inches from each other, so close. They stopped laughing and stared into each others eyes and in his dream, Ianto closed those mere inches. Of course in reality, they didn't kiss, in reality Ianto got up and walked away rather stiffly actually. Being that close to Jack was enough to give Ianto a hard on and good gods, Jack must have felt it. He supposed that if they had kissed that night, Ianto might have told Jack everything. His head knew there was nothing he could do for Lisa except for maybe a mercy killing. But he couldn't do that; his morals about humanity wouldn't allow it and his heart wasn't ready to let go. So, instead of giving into physical desires that night, he walked away.

But in his dream, they kissed and their hands wandered…and just when things were really heating up (see the double meaning there), the pterodactyl woke up and started singing "Anything Goes".

Ianto's eyes snapped open to dim light. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he sat up and then took in his surroundings. He was in Jack's quarters, in nothing but his boxers on Jack's bed with Jack snoring lightly next to him. As his eyes adjusted to the lighting, he saw that across the room, Rini was sleeping peacefully on a roll away bed with her mother wrapped protectively around her. It took him a moment to remember how he got down here as by the time the three of them were done with their games, Ianto felt like jelly and could only speak in gibberish (which according to Jack and Jessica is an actual language, not that Ianto believed them). After they made themselves semi decent they made their way to Jack's quarters. Ianto though did not remember collapsing on Jack's bed.

Ianto rubbed his eyes again and looked down—there was evidence of his dream trying to escape his boxers. He sighed and decided to make use of Jack's shower while everyone was still asleep; it was only five in the morning according to the clock on the bedside table. He tiptoed quietly to the bathroom and made sure to lock the door behind him (he wouldn't want to risk Rini walking in on him). He made sure the shower was as hot as he could handle before stepping in. Surprisingly, there was no tension in his other muscles. In fact he was surprised that after last night, his cock would even have the energy to wake up like that.

"I thought _cold _showers were…"

Ianto let out a startled gasp and nearly fell as he turned around. "Jesus Christ" he swore.

Hermes was leaning against the opposite wall of the shower, wearing only a loincloth and an amused smile on his lips "Nope sorry, but I can get him a message if you like. I don't think the J-man would appear in the shower with you."

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Ianto looked around for something to cover himself with but found nothing.

"How many times do I have to tell you that you're too cute to use that word? Anyway, as I was saying; I thought cold showers were usually used to relieve such pressure" he glanced down "well, cold showers or sudden scares I suppose."

He was right; Ianto no longer needed the use of his hands and naughty images of Jack. But still… "What are you doing here? I thought you didn't swing this way."

"I don't" Hermes shrugged "but dude, I'm Greek; I wrestle naked. It's no big deal. I mean, Jack's right, you people are far too modest for your own good."

Ianto sighed and blinked water from his eyes "Again I ask: What are you doing here?"

"I was in the neighbourhood" he said simply "thought, I'd drop by"

"Did you have to appear in here?"

"No. But I like to startle people, I guess it's where my idiot son, Pan gets it from. You know the whole panic thing. I don't get it; almost all my sons have some kind of condition named after them."

"What?" Ianto blinked "Who are your sons again?"

"Well, there's Pan" he counted them off on his fingers "Priapus, some people think that drunk Dionysus is his father but no, then there's Hermaphroditus, unfortunately I can't pen him off on anyone else, there's Silenus, not many are aware he's mine—I'd like it to stay that way and then there's Autolycus, I'd have to say, he's probably my favourite."

"So, those conditions would be panic, priapism and hermaphrodite?"

"Yeah, embarrassing isn't it? Where did I go wrong?"

Ianto decided not to point out that most Greek gods were terrible fathers. Instead he said "Are those all your children?"

"Er…I think so. I'm not as sex dependant as some other Olympians so I'm fairly certain those are all I have"

"Oh. Do you think my son will be traumatised by what's happened to him?"

Hermes patted Ianto's shoulder "If he's anything like you, I'm sure he'll be fine. Well, I should get going. Oh, that reminds me, did you learn anything from your body switching experience?"

In response, Ianto slugged Hermes across the jaw.

Hermes staggered backwards a bit but other than that the punch didn't phase him "I'll take that as a 'yes but I don't wanna talk about it' okay, I gothcya. Anyway, I'll be going now, give Jack my regards and I'll see you later" with that he disappeared.

Ianto shut off the water, deciding to get cleaner at home. He stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. It was then he remembered he didn't bring any clothes in the bathroom with him except for his boxers. He also remembered that his clothes were likely still in the conference room (he was fairly certain they weren't scattered about the Hub). He dried himself off and slipped his boxers back on while wondering, why the hell Jack didn't have a robe. He was about to open the door when there was a light knock on it. He opened it and at first he didn't see anything but then he looked down. Rini was standing there in a blue frilly nightgown and tiger slippers.

"Hi Ianto" she smiled up at him "Good morning. Did you sleep over?"

Ianto wondered if kids could tell when an adult was nervous. He swallowed "Er…yes, actually. Good morning, Rini. Uh, do you need in here?" Of course she does you dolt, why else would she be knocking?

"Uh huh"

"Okay" Ianto stepped out of them bathroom "all yours"

"Thank-you" She stepped inside but before closing the door, she turned around "how do you say 'good morning' in Welsh?"

Ianto blinked but answered automatically "Bore da"

"Bore da" she repeated perfectly "Bore da, Ianto"

Ianto had to smile "And bore da to you too, Rini"

Rini closed the door and Ianto turned to make his way back up to the main Hub so he could find his clothes.

Jack was standing right there, a smile on his lips "Nice boxers, can't believe I didn't notice them last night"

Ianto gasped, his heart was still beating rapidly from his encounter with Hermes, this did not help "Jack…were you there the whole time? I didn't see you."

"That's probably because I walked up behind you while your back was turned. Good morning"

"Good morning, sir. Uh…are those mine?" Ianto indicated the bundle of clothes Jack held in his arms.

"Yep, I went and got them for you while you were in the shower"

"Oh, thank-you" Ianto took them "I appreciate it, sir. I'll make coffee before I leave, shall I?"

Jack's grin widened "I'll love you forever if you do"

Ianto felt some sort of pang somewhere in the general vicinity of his heart. He chose to ignore it as he knew Jack wasn't being literal. "I live to serve" he said as dryly as possible.

Rini came out of the bathroom then "Bore da, Daddy"

Jack scooped her up "Bore da? Has Ianto been teaching you Welsh?"

"Just that" Rini yawned

"I think you're still sleepy. Come on, Pumpkin, back to bed" Jack carried her off.

Ianto watched them and felt like someone had just poured hot butter and maple syrup down his throat. _Oh, God I am such a woman._ He sighed and went back into the bathroom to get dressed.

…

Ianto had left, Rini had gone back to bed and Jessica was still sleeping. So, Jack had a quick cup of coffee and decided to take a shower. He just picked up a bar of soap when Hermes appeared in front of him, dressed in only a loin cloth. The soap slipped out of Jack's hand.

"KaliMEra, Jack" Hermes's eyes twinkled

"Hermes, Ianto said you stopped by. What's up?"

"Whatever's down" he answered with a shrug

"Er…what?" it was too early in the morning for riddles.

"As above, so below and all that. You should read the Hermetica, its great fun. I mean after all I wrote it…well, Thoth helped…a little"

Jack sighed "What are you doing here, exactly?"

"Well, did you learn anything from your body switching experience? I already figured you enjoyed it more than Ianto did."

Jack was normally one to keep most things to himself but with Hermes he actually wanted to talk. That and it was just too early and he was too tired from last night to argue. "Yes, I suppose I did. I think it brought Ianto and I closer and I learned that I can really trust him."

Hermes smiled "Very good. Ianto ought to take a page from your book, when I asked him what he learned he slugged me. Of course, it could be that he isn't much of a morning person and doesn't like being startled."

"That must be it, now if you'll excuse me…"

"So, when are you gonna tell him?"

"Tell him what?"

"I think you know exactly what I mean, Jack. He deserves to know."

Jack sighed "Hermes, do you remember how many things you said Ianto deserves to know?"

"Ah, excellent point. But right now, I mean the one he's liable to find out himself if you don't tell him first…especially if he gets bored and starts going through old archives."

Jack looked Hermes straight in the eye "I will tell him when I think he's ready to know and not before. Will that be all, Hermes?"

Hermes shrugged "For the moment, and by the way, that wife of yours…I like her" and with that he was gone.

Deciding to put this conversation out of his mind for awhile, Jack finished his shower and didn't think anything of Hermes liking Jessica or if it meant anything.

…

* * *

**In just the second it took to scroll down here, I thought of something: Instead of one whole fic "Not Unbreakable" might have to become a collection of shorter fics, like Helen Pattskyn does with her "Short Stories". What do you think? It certainly would be easier on my psyche.**

**TTFN**


	16. Falling

**Hello all. I'm back. Sorry it took so long but I needed a break and then school started two weeks ago. I planned a lot of this in math class. Well, it was all maths I'd seen before, so I really didn't need to listen.**

**Now, this chapter may seem a little jumpy but I did that on purpose.**

**I mean no offence by anything said in this chapter whatsoever.**

**Disclaimer: Ares doesn't belong to me either. (yes, he made an appearance)**

* * *

Ianto put a hand on Jack's shoulder "I—I'm so sorry, Jack" because honestly, he didn't know what else to do.

Jack rested his cheek against Ianto's hand "How am I supposed to tell Rini?"

Ianto knelt down next to him "I don't know, I'm so sorry. Oh, Jack, it should be me lying there."

Jack sniffed "What?"

"She saved me, pushed me out of the way. I am so sorry"

"Don't be" Jack stood up "it's not your fault"

…

* * *

A week and a half earlier…

The autopsy (or maybe it should be necropsy) of the shark alien was complete and on file. Jack sent a copy of the file to U.N.I.T. Though the creature was dead, Jack had the team keep an eye out for other mysterious deaths, just in case. Ianto was going through all the legalities of getting custody of his son, so until he came back to work, the team would have to survive on the lower quality Starbucks. Jessica and Rini were staying with Jack for awhile (not knowing how long they would be gone Jessica got the lesson plans till winter break from Rini's teacher).

"I find it terribly amusing that Ianto has a black sedan" Jessica said to Jack as Rini's eyes were glued to a Disney movie.

"Why?" Jack arched an eyebrow at her.

"Ever hear that Oldie's song, it goes 'I'm a friendly stranger in a black sedan' or something like that?"

Realisation dawned upon Jack "Yes, I know the song and Ianto's not _that_ friendly. He never has pictures and candy, at least not in his car."

Jessica smiled "I'm glad you can still understand me after so long. Not many can"

Jack snaked an arm around her "It is a special skill that requires a lot of training. But once mastered, it never goes away, like riding a bicycle."

"Good, then you should be able to understand why I don't like Gwen"

"What do you have against Gwen?"

"Well, for starters…"

…

* * *

Ianto's second eldest brother, Aldwyn was a phenomenal attorney. He managed it so Ianto could take custody of Cory before all the paperwork went through. Now that he was a fulltime father, Ianto finally decided to move out of his dinky little flat and into his house. It would be a bit of a drive to work but that was okay. The fantastic bit was that Gwill and his family lived in the neighbourhood and Anwen offered to look after Cory, take him to and from school while Ianto was at work.

First though, Ianto had to make the 150 year old house liveable again. Gwill, Gavin and Aldwyn volunteered to help. Anwen volunteered to watch Cory while the house was being cleaned.

The four Jones brothers stood outside the house all staring at it. Well more accurately the three older ones were watching the youngest trying to unlock the door. He was having trouble finding the right key.

"And when littlest brother," said Aldwyn "was the last time you were here?"

Ianto dug through his box of keys (he collected them and it was probably the only unorganised collection he had) "When I came back from London in July"

"And you put the key in a box of other old keys, why?"

Ianto's hand closed around a lock pick, he was getting frustrated with keys "I didn't, the spare key's in here. I left the original in there" he inclined his head towards the house.

Aldwyn rolled his grey eyes "Why?"

Ianto stood up, lock pick in hand "July was a very trying time for me. I worked at Canary Wharf, Al. My girlfriend died. I wasn't exactly in the best frame of mind."

Aldwyn held up his hands "Okay, I'm sorry"

Ianto just shrugged and looked at Gwill "I'm allowed to break into my own house, right?"

"Sure" Gwill answered "but why do you know how?" he stared pointedly at the lock pick.

Gavin looked amused and Aldwyn quirked an eyebrow "Ianto, as your attorney I advise you not to answer"

"Okay then" Ianto turned around and got on his knees. He stuck the pick into the lock.

"However," Aldwyn continued "as your brother I suggest you do"

Ianto sighed, a couple of jiggles and the door swung open "You don't want to know" he stood and picked up his box of keys.

"Yes we do" the other three said in unison.

Ianto stood on the threshold and looked at each of them "It doesn't matter. It's in the past" he wasn't about to tell them that he learnt it from a god.

Gwill sighed "All right, but if you ever want to talk about it, we're here for you."

Gavin put a hand on his shoulder "That's right baby brother, no worries"

"Yeah" agreed Aldwyn "Gods though, this family…Stephanie says we're like some bizarre combination of 7th Heaven and Little House on the Prairie only with Pagans instead of Christians."

Ianto felt the laughter bubbling up inside him and it escaped completely when Gavin said "Don't forget Full House" all four of them had a good laugh before even going inside.

…

Though the house wasn't completely done, he and Cory slept there that night. Was it really only a little more than two weeks ago that Ianto couldn't think of a time when Torchwood wasn't all that mattered? He was a fool for ever thinking that. He watched as Cory slept, clutching to his own toy dragon, Walter. As Ianto watched his little boy sleep, he realised that moments like these, where a child is safe and dreaming sweetly, that's what he fought for. That's what they all fought for…the future and children were the future.

Ianto returned to work a few days later once the house was clean, lights and plumbing were working and Cory was adjusted enough to his new school. The nice thing was that Jack actually ordered Ianto to come in later so he could take Cory to school himself.

When he arrived at the Hub though, no one seemed to be there; no one, except for Jessica who was staring at the coffee machine as if she was willing it to turn itself on.

He walked quietly up to her "Would you like a cup?"

She jumped a little "Oh, Ianto! Damn, don't do that" she then hugged him and gave him a peck on the lips "and yes please. Rini's downstairs, she'll want to see you. How's your little boy?"

Ianto gave her a small smile "All right enough I suppose, at least for the time being. My eldest sister's a therapist so…" he got out the coffee beans and moved to the grinder "I'll be down to see Rini when the coffee's done. Where are the others?"

"Hit and run, some kid I guess that's been stalking Gwen or something."

"Ah" Ianto remembered "Eugene Jones. He's dead?"

"I think so" she shrugged "why are there so many Joneses around here?"

"I honestly have no idea"

"It's like in San Diego, there's a Lopez on every corner, sees like"

"Well, perhaps Lopez is Spanish for Jones"

"Oh gods, can you imagine? Indiana _Lopez_? That'd be so bizarre. Anyway, so Jack tells me that your family's Celtic Celtic?"

"Sort of, I guess. We were raised to choose our own path. Two of my brothers are druids and we all believe in every possibility."

Jessica leaned against the counter "Do you worship anyone in particular?"

Ianto almost laughed at that, knowing from Hermes that gods tended to act like humans, he couldn't bring himself to worship them "No not really. Do you?" the past couple of weeks Ianto had developed a new outlook on life and realised he didn't mind answering questions when he was asked.

"I'm fond of the Goddess but I don't actively worship either. My favourite god of all time though is Hermes."

"Hermes?" Ianto stared at her.

"Yeah" there was a tinge of red in her cheeks "Can I tell you a secret" not waiting for a response she continued "Jack never owned my heart. Hermes does"

Did Ianto hear what he just heard? "What?"

"I know it's crazy, I've never met him, not even sure if he exists…"

"Yes he does" Ianto couldn't stop himself from saying as he turned on the coffee machine.

"You sound so sure of that"

Ianto turned around and looked into her eyes "I am"

"How?" her eyes shone "and don't say 'faith'"

"You know I'm good at sneaking? Who do you think I learnt it from?"

The cog door rolled open then and Jack came striding in "Is that heaven I smell?"

Ianto smiled at him and promptly ignored the feeling of an arrow being in his heart "If heaven smells like my coffee, sir"

Jack grinned "If it doesn't it should. And when you're done with that, I want you to go with Owen and Gwen to check out Eugene's house" he came up to them "Welcome back"

"Certainly sir" Ianto nodded "and thank-you"

Jack put a hand on his shoulder "How's Cory doing?"

"All right as he can be for right now"

…

* * *

The next morning after making coffee Ianto went out on the dock to have a smoke break. Hermes literally appeared next to him on the bench "Wasting time?"

Ianto almost dropped his cigarette at being startled "What?"

"Well, you're sitting on the dock of the bay. I can only assume you're wasting time" Hermes grinned at Ianto's roll of the eyes.

Ianto took a puff of smoke "Funny you should say that, Jack's wife, Jessica was making fun of me for having a black sedan."

Hermes leaned back, arms behind his head "Ah, woman after my own heart"

Ianto remembered the short lived conversation he and Jessica had the day before. He hadn't had a chance to talk to her since "Funny you should…"

"So anyway, I couldn't help but notice that you've been doing a lot of that lately."

"Doing what?" Ianto blinked

"Smoking, you wanna be around to see your grandchildren don't you?" Hermes didn't look at him; he stared out at the water.

Ianto dropped the fag to the ground and rubbed it out with his foot "Are you saying I'm going to die of cancer if I don't quit now?"

Hermes flicked his eyes towards him "Of course not but it's something to take into consideration."

Ianto decided to change the subject "So, in the reality where Torchwood is a TV show, what episode…"

"Random Shoes is the episode dealing with Eugene. However, on that show you and Jack do not have any children, at least not that the fans are aware of. Episode before this was 'They Keep Killing Suzie'"

"Ah, that makes sense. So, I take it you're not involved in the show?"

Hermes nodded "Torchwood is science fiction; I believe I fall under the category of fantasy, in most circles anyway" he went back to staring at the water.

Ianto took this time to observe him. Today Hermes was wearing blue jeans, a baggy plain white hoodie sweatshirt and a dark blue baseball cap with a lightning bolt on it. He was wearing it backwards, his golden brown curls poking out from underneath it. And it concerned Ianto that the normally energetic Hermes looked pensive.

"Does your cap represent that you're a servant of Zeus?"

Hermes turned his head towards him; brows arched "What? Where'd you get that?"

"The lightning bolt"

Hermes chuckled "Oh, Ifan dear child, I thought you were smarter than that but I guess I can't blame you for not knowing. It's the emblem of the San Diego Chargers, American football team."

"Oh right, I knew that" he lied

"No you didn't"

Ianto crossed his arms "So, do you like American football or something?"

"I'm quite fond of all sports actually. The Chargers are my American football team, the Atlanta Braves are my baseball team and when it comes to rest-of-the-world football, I like the LA Galaxy" he wore a very cheeky grin

"What?" Ianto exclaimed; he knew what the LA Galaxy was.

Hermes laughed "Kidding, kidding, oh you should have seen the look on your face" his eyes sparkled "honestly though, when it comes to regular football Greece is the word"

Ianto arched an eyebrow "Greece over Ireland?"

"Oh yeah, just don't tell my father. Speaking of Greece and sports…"

Ianto held up a hand "Stop right there, I don't want to hear it. Whenever you say 'speaking of Greece and sports', you go into a tirade about how 'screwed up' the 2004 Olympics were."

Hermes huffed and crossed his arms "Well they were" he muttered "stupid Americans. I mean the Olympics were in the country of their origin. Greece should have won more…"

"So," Ianto interrupted, he had heard all this before, several times "what are you doing here?"

Hermes's shoulders tensed "I'm waiting for someone"

"What do you mean?"

"Sorry, but I can't answer anymore than I already have"

Knowing he wouldn't get anymore out of him, Ianto changed the subject again "So, Jack's wife, Jessica…"

"Could you kindly not refer to her as _Jack's wife?_" the flash in Hermes's eyes and tone of voice caused Ianto to scoot away a little.

Interesting, Ianto thought "Right, so Jessica quite fancies you."

"Does she?"

"Quite a bit actually, which, considering she's never met you is understandable. But I think if she were to know you she would actually like…"

"She already knows everything about me. That's why she's in love with me"

Ianto blinked "How?"

"Wonders of reincarnation, it's complicated"

"I see. And is the feeling mutual?"

Hermes relaxed a little "She knows it is. Like I said, complicated. It's been ages since I was able to hold her" there was a look in his eyes, a look that could usually be found on a romance novel hero.

"You love her?"

Hermes sighed; a single tear rolled down his cheek "I would give up my immortality for her… if I could"

"Why can't you?" Jack's voice caused them both to jump. He was standing behind them.

Hermes took a breath and looked up at the captain "I was born immortal, Jack, I can't change it; it's just how things are."

Jack put his hands on the bench "Are you Soulmates?" his expression was soft

"Yes, since her first life, she's on her last one now." He stood up and looked into Jack's eyes "she also knows that I'm a jealous bastard and don't like to share her. Drives me crazy, but thank-you for loving her"

"You should talk to her"

"Why?"

"She deserves to know for certain that you're real. Some people need more than faith to go on."

Hermes sighed "You're right; she's been waiting long enough. On one condition though" something changed in his eyes, it was a look Ianto had seen before—Hermes's 'I'll make a deal with you' look.

Jack seemed to know what Hermes was insinuating "No, not yet"

Hermes crossed his arms "Then my Sweetness waits till the Afterlife…it's what I call her" he said to the looks Ianto and Jack were giving him.

"You shouldn't make her wait any longer just because I…" Jack began

"Remember what I told you, Jack"

Ianto looked back and forth between them, now quite confused and wondering if he should leave and give them privacy.

"But…" Jack said

"You are right though" Hermes's shoulders relaxed "I think I will tell her anyway but you should tell you know you what to do if something ever happens to you. You can't keep this from him much longer" with that he disappeared, a sly smile on his lips.

Seeing that Jack was uncomfortable with whatever Hermes was on about he said "Can you imagine him and Jessica as a couple?"

Jack visibly relaxed, hopped over the back of the bench and sat down "You know, I actually think they'd be good together."

…

* * *

The main thing Hermes wanted Jack to tell Ianto; Jack didn't feel he was quite ready to know, at least not with all the other stuff going on in his life right now. But there was something Jack would tell him today, something that he only trusted Ianto with. "Ianto, there's something you deserve to know but I don't want to tell you just yet"

"Somehow I figured Hermes wasn't talking about Owen." Ianto looked into his eyes "Jack, you know I don't expect or want you to tell me anything you don't want to."

Jack found himself thinking that he could fall in love with this man next to him but he quickly suppressed the thought. "There is something however I want to tell you today" after all, if the Doctor did show up and Jack was accidentally gone for more than a few minutes, someone needed to know about Flat Holm. He stood up "Come with me, Ianto"

Ianto smirked "Out here, Jack? It's a public place"

For some bizarre reason Jack felt his face heat up, in his entire life anything to do with Ianto was the only thing that can make him blush "Not what I meant and you know it. Come on, we're going on a quick trip"

Ianto stood up "All right"

"You're not gonna ask to where?"

Ianto shrugged "I trust you"

So, Jack took him to Flat Holm and told him all about it. He also told Ianto why he kept the Doctor's hand that he was waiting for him because he needed answers. "If the TARDIS disappears while I'm inside it, I don't want you to worry. That's the beauty of time travel I could be gone for months while only a few minutes passes for you. Of course, I don't intend to be gone at all but sometimes the TARDIS has a mind of her own or we get grabbed up by some Dalek run game station…long story."

They were standing in the island's light house and after all Jack told him, Ianto only said "So, have you faced a dalek then?"

"I was killed by one"

"And you want to ask the Doctor why you woke up?"

"Yes"

Ianto nodded "Is there anything else sir that you need me to know in case you should vanish?"

Jack thought about it but nothing jumped to name "I'll let you know"

…

* * *

A few days later…

Jack slammed Hermes up against a wall, deep in the vaults away from any cameras "You…you…"

"What'd I do? I talked to her, you can ask her yourself"

"That's not what I mean" he eased his grip a little "you…you had Cupid shoot me"

Hermes's eyes widened "What? No I didn't and he prefers his original Greek name which is Eros"

"Whatever and don't lie…"

"Jack, I'm not lying" he squirmed out of Jack's grasp "I can't tell Eros to do anything _I'm_ not his father. Why do you even think he shot you?"

"Because I…Ianto, I think…" he couldn't finish

"Think what?" Hermes put a hand on his shoulder and his voice was gentle "that you're falling in love with him? Is that such a bad thing?"

"Yes"

"Why?"

"I can't afford to and neither can he. He's mortal…"

"I know how you feel, Jack. Believe me I do. Yes, Ianto will die someday and someday so will you. Look, I can't tell you what to do but remember Ianto's on his last life, I just want you to help him make it as wonderful as possible. And if it helps, you're on your last one too. Now," his voice became more cheery "if you still want to beat someone up, I can get Eros here. I myself have partaken in beating him, after all I never had time to fall in love; of course, Eros's arrows are not needed for true love so I was beating him up for no reason."

Right then there was a flash of red and an incredibly gorgeous black haired man wearing black jeans, t-shirt and a leather floor length coat materialised "Hermes, how many times do I have to tell you I don't want you or your friends beating up my son?" he also spoke with an American accent. He looked amazingly like the guy that played Ares on Hercules and Xena (two of the very few shows that Jack enjoyed, mainly because of the outfits.

"Ah, Ares I wasn't really gonna call him" he stepped away from Jack "Jack Harkness, you have the pleasure of meeting Ares, Olympian god of war and crown prince of Olympus. Ares, this is Jack"

Jack for the moment forgot his frustration and held out his hand "Nice to meet you" he gave his best flirtatious smile

Ares smiled back and shook his hand "You too, Jack. I can call you Jack right?"

"You can call me anything you like"

Hermes leaned against a wall "By the way Jack, this isn't what Ares really looks like; he's just appearing like this to honour New Zealand Kevin Smith. He'll being doing it till 2012"

"New Zealand Kevin Smith?" Jack asked "that can't be his full name"

"Hermes specifies when there's more than actor with the same name" Ares said "There's an American actor by the same name. Anyway, Jack you remind me of some bizarre combination of Hercules and Xena."

Hermes chuckled "You should see his 'get to the point' stance"

Jack furrowed his eyebrows "Xena was real?"

"Believe it or not" Ares answered "but actual events were a bit different than the show. In reality there was no Eli or Eve, certainly no Dahak"

"And Ares" Hermes said "that look he just had that was his 'confused hero's look'."

"I saw that"

Jack crossed his arms "I _am_ still here"

"Sorry" Ares ran a hand down Jack's back and pinched his bum "if ever you're interested, Aphrodite and I are more than willing to have you join us sometime."

Okay, maybe Ianto wasn't the only one who was able to get him all hot and bothered. Jack tugged at his collar "Uh, well…"

"Jack" Hermes shoved Ares aside "I'm afraid I don't think even you can handle them both at the same time."

Jack got indignant "I can handle anything"

Ares shoved Hermes back "Don't mind him, Jack. Hermes is the only male Olympian that doesn't dabble with the same sex. Devoted to his sweetness…or so he says. Of course, there some things people won't even tell their best friend."

Hermes's arms were crossed and he rolled his eyes "There's nothing to tell, you know everything about me."

"I also know when you're lying"

Jack stepped between them "So, you two are best friends?"

"Normally" Ares shrugged

"Jack" Ianto came through a nearby door "there you are; I was hoping I'd find you down here. Hello Hermes"

"Ianto" Hermes nodded "this is Ares, Ares this is Ianto"

Ares held out his hand "It's always interesting to meet one of Hermes's favourites. He speaks very highly of you Ianto"

Ianto blushed slightly "Thank-you sir. He speaks very highly of you too"

"You don't have to call me sir"

"All right, Ares." He turned to Jack "Jack, Gwill's on the phone, he wants to talk to you"

"Can't you take a message?" Jack asked, knowing it was never good when Gwill called the Hub.

"I tried but he only wants to talk to you. He said I'd panic, I didn't feel like arguing."

"All right," he smiled at Ares "nice meeting you, Ares"

"And you" Ares nodded at him and Ianto and then he disappeared.

Hermes sighed "Tell Jessica I'll see her later" he too disappeared.

…

* * *

Jack put down the phone "There's been another shark attack"

There was a collective 'what?' from the rest of the group.

"But it's dead isn't it?" said Jessica "it's lying there in your morgue…"

Ianto's eyes widened "Wait a moment, I just remembered: didn't Christopher say that the killings in California look like they were done by two sharks? A Great White and a Tiger Shark?"

Both Jack and Jessica said "Yeeeaaahhh"

"The shark in the morgue is a Great White"

There was now a collective "shit"

Jessica took a deep breath "Well looks like we're going into overtime. Ianto, your sister-in-law's cool with watching Rini for a few more hours, right?"

Ianto nodded "I'll let her know"

"Great and I'll call Christopher. Jack, I hope you're okay with me taking charge, I do out rank you after all"

Jack made a mock bow "I bow to your majorness"

….

* * *

They tracked the shark to an (where else?) abandoned warehouse near the docks.

Tosh would stay in the SUV and direct everyone were to go.

Jessica let out a little laugh "I can't believe I'm saying this but let's split up, gang"

Jack shoved her lightly "I think that's supposed to be my line"

"Oh right, of course. You're Freddy; I'm just the sexy female guest star. Chris is the sexy male guest star. Tosh is Velma, Gwen's Daphne, Owen is Shaggy and I'm sorry Ianto but that makes you Scooby."

"Why am I Daphne?" Gwen asked

Jessica looked extremely innocent "I was told about your first day so I can only equate you with danger-prone Daphne besides I thought you'd like being Daphne if Jack's Freddy"

Even in the dark lighting Gwen's blush was clearly visible.

Ianto kept his composure though he decided he'd laugh later.

"Anyway," Jessica said "Daphne, Shaggy, I want you to go with the sexy male guest star and Freddy and Scooby, you're with me."

…

* * *

"And why am I Scooby?" Ianto asked

Jessica shrugged "Because Owen is Shaggy"

"Why is Owen Shaggy?"

Jack held up a hand "Ianto, just forget it, Jessica makes the weirdest comparisons" the harpoon gun was slung over his shoulder.

"Outlandish more like" Ianto muttered.

The three of them then split up further, in retrospect not the best idea Jack's had.

…

* * *

The alien Tiger shark was charging at Ianto. He empties his clip at it but it was still coming. Then he was pushed out of the way

Jessica emptied a fire extinguisher at the thing and it stopped for a moment "Stop right there! I might not be Sailor Moon, champion of love and justice but I know how to kick ass" she put herself between Ianto and the shark which regained its composure. She aimed her gun

But the creature was too quick for her; it grabbed her up and threw her against a wall.

Ianto couldn't move, he was fairly certain he twisted his ankle. He heard footsteps behind him and then Jack leapt over him and fired the harpoon gun. Once the shark was down, Jack ran to where Jessica lay crumbled on the ground "Sarah!" he gathered her in his arms.

Sarah? Must be her real name, Ianto thought. He forced himself to his feet and limped over to them. He nearly threw up at what he saw. Jessica had landed on a metal spike. She stopped breathing. Silent tears were running down Jack's cheeks. He didn't see Hermes appear, wearing his ancient uniform, his staff alight.

Ianto watched, transfixed. Hermes knelt down, waved his staff over Jessica/Sarah, and took her hand. He lifted her spirit out of her body. They really did seem enraptured with each other.

Jessica gave Ianto a small smile, inclined her head towards Jack and seemed to say 'take care of them will you?' Obviously she meant Jack and Rini. Ianto nodded once and Jessica and Hermes were gone.

And this is where we started.

* * *

This chapter is dedicated in memory to Kevin Smith who wonderfully portrayed Ares in "Hercules: Legendary Journeys" and "Xena: Warrior Princess"

**I am sorry but I had to kill Jessica, I'd planned it from the start. Jack needs to have sole custody of Rini in order for what I have planned to work but we might hear from Jessica again sometime.**

**Now since this is definitely AU the next few episodes in series1 might happen a wee bit differently. However, I'm going to try not to focus on what's on screen too much.**

**I don't know when the next update will be but it involve (no promises) mainly Jack and Rini and them going to California to take care of things there and the legalities of Jack getting custody. I kind of want them to go to Disneyland. We'll see. I hope you're still with me.**

**By the way, in John Barrowman's autobiography, Anything Goes (page 237-238) he says **_"Sometimes the crew joins us in our rambunctiousness. In one of the early episodes of the second series, Ianto has a meltdown in the Hub one night, for reasons far too complicated to go into here, but if you've seen it, you'll know. I have to admit it's one of my favourite episodes to date. Anyway, while Jack comforts Ianto, he shifts from innocent consolation to a full-on, passionate embrace and kiss._

_Gareth and I 'assumed the position' and went for it. The episode's director never called 'cut'. By the time Gareth and I were hitting the two-minute mark, my lips were getting numb and Gareth was getting twitchy._

_'You fuckers!' we both yelled in unison, when we finally realized what was going on and pulled apart._

_The delight of the crew was obvious and the joke carried them for hours through a tough shoot."_

**Okay, now are we all in agreement that the only episode in series2 where Ianto has a meltdown is "Adam"? They do not kiss in that episode, not like that. Jack kissed Ianto's forehead near the end but that's it. It's not in the deleted scenes or outtakes either, at least not on the DVDs I have. So, I have to assume that the cameras weren't rolling and they decided not to put in the scene at all.**

**Please let me know what you all think about this. It's been driving me crazy. **


	17. Of Amusement Parks and Soldiers

**Think of this as two chapters in one. I would have done more on Jack and Rini in California but…uh…it's been awhile since I've been there and it was difficult. Also I wanted to get this update up because I want to try and have a special chapter just for Halloween. Wish me luck on that, I have limited experience in writing spookiness. Hmm, time to break out the Scary Stories.**

**And as always, I mean no offence by anything stated by any characters.**

**Enjoy**

* * *

Children under ten were more understanding about certain things than adults gave them credit for. Jack and Rini were alone at Gwill and Anwen's kitchen table. Jack was holding Rini in his lap, completely unsure of what to say to her, how to say it. When Jack lost his father, he didn't need to be told he was dead because he'd found him himself.

Turns out he didn't need to say anything to Rini at all.

"Did Mommy get hurt, Daddy?" she asked in a small voice.

"Yes" Jack managed to croak.

"She's not coming back is she?"

Jack couldn't help it, he broke down. Rini picked up a napkin from the table and dabbed at Jack's cheeks "It's okay, Daddy. Mommy said she might not come home but she's safer now. She said that the Afterlife is a happy place."

Jack hugged her close "Oh baby, you know more than me"

…

They were in Gwill and Anwen's family room, on the sofa. Rini was on Jack's lap and Cory on Ianto's. Ianto was singing a Welsh lullaby that Jack had never heard before. By the time he was done both children were fast asleep.

"That was beautiful" Jack whispered "I don't think I've heard it before."

"You wouldn't have. Jones family lore says it's been in the family for centuries, guaranteed to put a child to sleep and keep them that way till morning. Family law says we're not to share it with outsiders, but I think I can trust you not to give it away."

Jack's free hand was so close to Ianto's, they were almost touching. "I should get her home."

Ianto put his hand over Jack's "You two could stay with us tonight. My place is closer."

"Yeah, that would be better, thanks"

"Actually Jack, I was thinking" he took a breath "Are you planning on sending Rini to school?"

"Of course"

"Well, she's going to need an actual address, you know. You two could live with us, there are two extra bedrooms, that way everyone has their own room. I mean, the Hub is no place for a child, even one as clever as Rini. She and Cory could go to the same school and we could go into work together, or take turns going early…"

Jack silenced him with a kiss. It was awkward, considering the angle and children on their laps, but Jack put into the kiss all the emotion he wasn't prepared to voice.

'_If you wanna know if he loves you so, it's in kiss, that's where it is'_

Jack and Ianto pulled apart and stared at the source of the song. Gwill and Anwen's two year old had turned on the stereo. Though neither would say it aloud both men were thinking that it might be more than a creepy coincidence that that song was playing right then.

Anwen came running in the room and scooped the toddler up while simultaneously shutting off the music. "Sorry, 'bout that." She smiled apologetically at them "she's teething so…"

Ianto leaned Cory against Jack's arm and stood up "Would you like me to sing her the Lullaby since Gwill can't carry a tune in a Tupperware container?"

"Oh, Ianto would you?"

"Of course"

When Ianto returned, Jack said "Yes, Ianto that would be perfect, thank-you."

"Not at all" Ianto picked up Cory "Let's get these two home."

…

Believe it or not but Jack had never been to San Diego before. He'd been missing out; San Diego was one fantastic city. It was gorgeous filled with gorgeous people, especially near the beach. No wonder Sarah chose to settle there.

It was easier than he thought it would be to get custody of Rini. San Diego's U.N.I.T. was a big help and essentially all Jack had to do was prove paternity. When that was taken care of (and after Sarah and Rini's things had been packed up and shipped to Cardiff) Jack decided he and Rini would have some fun. So they went to San Diego's Old Town, Balboa Park, Sea World and the World Famous San Diego Zoo. After that they would go north to Disneyland. Jack did leave the team with instructions to call him if there was an emergency.

Old Town

Jack looked at the list of punishments in the old school house "I am so glad I wasn't born in the 1800's."

"What does 'lashes' mean, Daddy?"

"I think it means they were whipped when they misbehaved."

"Why?"

"I don't know"

Rini tugged on Jack's sleeve "Daddy, you know what we should do?"

He picked her up "What?"

"We should get those old time pictures done and get presents for Cory and Ianto and Tosh, Owen and Gwen."

Jack smiled "I like your thinking"

Sea World

Jack and Rini were standing outside the Shark Encounter, pretty much staring each other down.

"Serena, I am not in the mood to look at sharks"

"But they can't hurt you, Daddy. They're behind glass."

Jack crossed his arms "but I don't like sharks" and with good reason.

Rini's hands were on her hips "Daddy, don't be a baby. I'll hold your hand, you can close your eyes or I can go by myself."

Oh, she was _good_. Jack scooped her up "I'm not letting you go in there by yourself and I don't need to close my eyes. Come on then" he put her on his shoulders and marched into the building. It was extremely unnerving though, being in a glass tube underwater surrounded by sharks.

The Zoo

It was very interesting, the child wasn't afraid of sharks but she refused to go on the sky ride, absolutely terrified of heights and the thought of falling…just like her mother. Sarah had been almost literally petrified on top of the Stratosphere VI, Jack had to do everything he could think of to distract her; ah that was a nice memory, quite nice.

Anyway, Rini's favourite part of the zoo was the tiger exhibit. The girl was nuts for tigers and felines in general as a matter of fact. Jack would have to talk to Ianto about getting a pet cat, make sure Cory didn't have any allergies. Okay, wait, it almost sounded like they were in a real relationship…but they weren't. But then, Jack thought, maybe they should be, after all they were living together now and it looked like they'd be raising their children together and Jack's feelings for the gorgeous Welshman were getting stronger every day…Jack shook away the thoughts, now was not the time to be thinking of such things. Especially not while looking at a very big tiger which was staring at Jack through the glass as if contemplating pouncing on him. Jack gave the tiger his best grin.

Disneyland

Jack had been to the original Disneyland once before, back in the sixties when the Pirates of the Caribbean ride first opened. He hadn't been since and good gods, things had changed. If Walt weren't actually frozen he might be rolling in his grave. Jack looked over the park's map, wishing Ianto were there because Ianto was good at maps. Jack made a note to bring Ianto and Cory next time…or at least send Ianto with the kids. After all they both couldn't be away from the Hub for very long. Maybe he should look into hiring more people…eventually.

* * *

Meanwhile…

Since Ianto got custody of Cory, they'd been having supper at Gwill and Anwen's. They ate vegetables with every meal. Ianto of course was not overly fond of vegetables and that first night when they arrived he smelled the tell-tale signs of Brussels sprouts. Ianto bit back a groan—he hated Brussels sprouts. That night Gwill pulled him aside.

"Ianto, I know you've only ever eaten vegetables when forced to but you want to set a good example for your son, don't you?"

Ianto sighed "Of course I do but…even Tad hated those stinky little cabbages. He never fed us anything he didn't like himself."

"I know but Gran gave us 'those stinky little cabbages' and actually they're quite good if prepared right. And they're good for you. Ifan, you will eat what's put in front of you."

"But…"

"Ifan Carwyn, that boy of yours is too thin and so are you. You will eat the vegetables and like them and I will not find any in your napkin or the dog dish, is that understood?"

Ianto gulped, one didn't argue with Gwill when he had a hand on your shoulder. "Yes sir"

"Good, besides, you may be young but you're not a child anymore. You're a grown man with responsibilities."

So, Ianto bucked up and ate the vegetables and felt he deserved an Oscar for his performance. All Torchwood One employees were required to take a two hour acting class once a month. Ianto was always one of the best.

But now that his house was in order, Gwill told him he had to start fixing his own supper. So, making sure everything was all right at the Hub, he took off early so he could take Cory shopping with him.

"So," he said once they were in the market "Uncle Gwill says we have to start making our own supper."

Cory looked up at him "But I like Auntie Anwen's cooking"

"I know but we can't rely on them all the time. So, what food do you like?" he held on to Cory's hand and wondered how he was going to push a shopping trolley one handed because no way was he letting go of Cory with all the creeps in the world.

"I like vegetables" Cory said "How are you gonna push a trolley and hold my hand too? I could hold on to the trolley."

Ianto smiled at him, marvelling at the boy's common sense "That is a clever idea. Good thinking, son" Whoa, that sounded weird, he was gonna have to get used to that, calling someone 'son'. Especially, since they were speaking English, Cory didn't know any more Welsh than "tad". Ianto got a trolley and Cory reached up and put his hand over Ianto's. "Now, Cory what did you say you liked?"

"Vegetables" Cory repeated.

Ianto stared at him "Really?" what six year old _liked_ vegetables?

"Uh huh, they're good for you and they're yummy"

Ianto decided he wouldn't argue, it was good that Cory was willing to eat vegetables, wasn't it? Of course it was. "Okay, we'll get vegetables" they headed to the produce section "Do you like meat at all?"

"Uh huh, but not sausage"

"Why not?"

"I don't like the way it looks"

Deciding not to pursue this particular topic just yet, Ianto said "Do you like sweets at all?"

"Only for dessert"

Ianto stared at him again, what child liked sweets _only_ for dessert? "Seriously?"

"Too many sweets aren't good for you, Tad. They're bad for you're teeth"

To any observers this must have looked very strange; a child lecturing a parent on healthy eating habits. Ianto decided to start reading those books on parenting he'd bought a few days earlier.

That night, Ianto made chicken and leeks (his Tad's recipe) and it turned out pretty good if Ianto said so himself. For dessert, they split a chocolate bar (Cadbury, of course). Once Cory was in bed and sound asleep Ianto went back into the kitchen and stared at the dishes. For once he didn't feel like cleaning but it had to be done. He started towards the sink and decided he'd do it later. He dug through the fridge till he found what he was looking for—a bottle of chocolate cream liqueur. Ianto wanted to relax; cooking took a lot out of a person. He poured some in a little glass tumbler.

"Top of the evenin' to ya, Ianto"

Ianto almost dropped his glass as he spun around "Jesus Christ!"

The strange man smiled "Hermes said you'd say that. Ya know one of these days, it might actually be Jesus Christ and you'll say somethin' like 'merciful Zeus' and boy, will you be embarrassed." The man's Irish accent was thick and his emerald eyes sparkled with amusement.

Ianto took a deep breath "Who the hell are you?"

The man waggled a finger at him "Best watch your language. I'm Oghma and Hermes requested I pay you a visit; he's a bit busy to drop by himself at the moment."

Ianto breathed out and leaned against the counter, drink still in hand "Why?"

"Why did he send me or why is he busy?"

"Why did he send you?"

Oghma shrugged "To check up on ye, I suppose." The Irish god eyed the drink in Ianto's hand "Ya know lad, it's only polite if ye offer me one of those"

Ianto stared at his drink and then handed it to Oghma "Here"

"Thank-ye" Oghma took a sip "not bad though I prefer Irish cream, meself, but this chocolate stuff is pretty good. Ye wouldn't happen to have any whiskey would ye?"

"Just Scotch, I'm afraid" Ianto was starting to get a headache.

Oghma sighed and tsked "Pity, ah well" he downed the rest of the drink "may I have another?"

Ianto poured him some more, after all you don't refuse a god "You know, you're really playing up that stereotype that the Irish like to drink"

Oghma blinked and looked genuinely confused "What stereotype?"

Ianto couldn't help but smile "Never mind" he poured himself a drink and took a sip, his muscles relaxed immediately. Granted alcohol had nothing on what Jack could do to relax him but Jack was in California at the moment. Ianto suddenly thought of a question and he had to ask "Were there ever any actual snakes in Ireland?"

Oghma leaned against the fridge "Oh aye, long ago and Finn McCool got rid of them well before Saint whatshisname came along."

"Well I always figured that 'snakes' was a metaphor for pagans"

Oghma nodded "Aye, but he didn't get all of them. But let's change the subject, eh? It saddens my heart to think of such things."

"I'm sorry. So, er…why is Hermes busy?"

Oghma's eyes brightened and he grinned slyly "He just got back the love of his life, why do you think?"

Ianto felt his face heat up at the thought of Hermes and Sarah having sex or maybe it was the alcohol.

"Well" Oghma set down his glass "I best be going. Remember this 'Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members'"

Ianto blinked "That's Emerson and what does that have to do with anything?"

But Oghma didn't answer, he disappeared in a flash. Ianto downed his drink "Communication gods…I swear"

"Oh I hear ya, believe me"

Ianto jumped "Jesus Christ!"

Ares rolled his eyes "You know, you're really going to have to break that habit; it's not very polite. I mean, how would you like it if someone shouted 'Ianto Jones!' when startled?"

Ianto sighed heavily "I didn't expect the god of war to lecture me on politeness"

Ares took Oghma's place against the fridge "Those myths about me are just that, myths. And as much as I admire Kevin Smith's portrayal of me, I did not really act like that."

"Yeah, sorry, Hermes said you were actually a very nice guy. Would you like a drink?"

"No thanks. I imagine you're wondering why I'm here"

"A bit yes" Ianto nodded

"I want to tell you about one of your past lives"

"Oh?" this was interesting "why?"

Ares shrugged "I feel like it"

"Okay then" why the hell not?

"Well, you were a Welsh captain during the American Revolutionary War or Yankee Rebellion, whichever you prefer"

"Yankee Rebellion sounds good"

Ares nodded "It is what you and your men called it"

"So I was Welsh?"

"Oh yeah, most of your lives you've been Welsh"

Ianto smiled "Well, of course I have."

"Okay, now back to the Yankee Rebellion, you were a captain in the British army and Jack was a captain in the Continental army"

Ianto poured himself another drink "Some how I saw that coming, I don't know why. But oh, I can see him in one of those blue uniforms…oh yeah…blue's his colour you know…"

"Anyway, before you get a hard on…"

"Right sorry, carry on"

"Thank-you…as I was saying…the year was 1778, the war was in full swing, England was sending troops by the hundreds. You led your men into battle, your side was winning, the Yankees called retreat. Two men under your command captured a Yankee captain for questioning…"

"Jack?"

Ares nodded "Jack"

"How did Jack get captured? Jack doesn't get captured"

"Different life, different name, Ianto but to make things less confusing I'll refer to you as Jack and Ianto. So, Jack was tied to a chair, you paced in front of him, there was no one else in the room…

_"If you tell me what General Washington has planned, Captain, I will let you live"_

_Jack narrowed his eyes "Even if I knew I wouldn't tell you"_

_Ianto stood in front of him and put his hands over Jack's wrists "You're a handsome man, Captain, I imagine you have quite a few lady friends who would be very disappointed if you failed to return home and I would really hate to upset the ladies."_

_Jack grinned "What makes you think my friends are ladies? You are a very handsome man yourself, Captain. You have a beautiful voice"_

_Ianto's face went red and he stepped back "Are you mad? How dare you say such things? Do you have a death wish?"_

_Jack laughed "I'm going to die anyway, we all are. Why not make the most of what I have left? You really do think I'm handsome, otherwise you would not have said it"_

_Ianto took a deep breath "Just tell me of Washington's plans and I will release you"_

_"I told you, I don't know" he struggled against his binding "I follow orders when I get them"_

_Ianto got close once more "Tell me where General Washington is"_

_"I don't know, I've never met the man. Do you Captain, know precisely where General Gage is at this very moment?"_

_Ianto was going to say 'yes' but that would have been a lie. He was brought up to always speak the truth._

_"I didn't think so" suddenly Jack's hand was free and on Ianto's neck. Before Ianto could even blink, Jack brought their lips together._

_Ianto shoved away and stared at the Yankee captain wide eyed in silence for several moments before finding his voice "Why?" was all he could say._

_"Making the most of what I have left"_

_Ianto was suddenly captivated by the Yankee's eyes "That entails kissing me?"_

_"Does that surprise you? Admit it captain, were we not enemies…" he trailed off, knowing Ianto knew what he was saying "I can tell when it's not a woman a man wants"_

_Ianto swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat "Yet we are enemies"_

_"Are we?"_

_"Why aren't you escaping? Your arm is free, you could easily escape. You should escape; I do not want to see you hang."_

_Their eyes were locked "Why not?"_

_"Like you captain, I only follow orders. I do not wish to be in this war but my father forced me."_

_"You could come with me. We can get out of this place; go somewhere where no one else is"_

_"We do not even know one another"_

_"But we can come to know one another"_

_Ianto took a deep breath "Perhaps, before I make a decision you can kiss me again?" he took a step forward…_

Ares glanced at the clock on the microwave "Whoa, look at the time. I should be going and you have work in the morning"

Ianto blinked "What? You're just gonna stop there?"

"Yup. We'll pick it up some other time"

"But you can't just…what happened next? Did I go with Jack? Were we caught?"

"Later Ianto" Ares disappeared

"Ares! Come back! You can't just…" Ianto swore in Welsh. He put the bottle back in the fridge and stalked up to his bedroom. He retrieved Hermes's business card and used his mobile to call him. He was surprised that Hermes answered.

"What do you want, Ianto?"

"How'd you…?"

"Caller ID, you're lucky I wasn't in the middle of something" Hermes appeared, towel around his waist and soaking wet "other than a shower anyway"

"Ares was just here"

"Really? What was he doing here?"

Ianto's brows furrowed "You didn't send him?"

"No, I sent Oghma. Why, what'd Ares do?"

"He told me about one of my past lives and didn't finish. He stopped just when it was getting good. I was a Welsh captain in 1778 and Jack was…"

Hermes held up a hand "Say no more, I know what he's up to. I'll talk to him and Ianto, if you want to know the rest try past life regression" with that he was gone.

Ianto resisted the urge to drink some more, instead he got in the shower and thought about Jack in one of those blue uniforms and how much fun it would be to take it off him.

* * *

**I felt that this was a good spot to stop for this chapter. Okay, you might be wondering where that whole 1770s thing came from. Well, I'm taking US history and that's the part we're at right now. I would love to learn about it from the British point of view.**

**Anyway, can't you picture Jack in that blue uniform and Ianto in the red one? Wouldn't they be so hot? Or is that just me who thinks that?**

**TTFN, Lady A**


	18. The Haunted House pt1

**I would like to thank the handful of people who reviewed the last chapter, you know who you are. **

**I would like to get more than a handful this time, the more reviews I have the happier I am and a happy Janto shipper is a productive Janto shipper. I've said this before. So please, pretty please review.**

**Chapter rating: T Chapter genre...family and supernatural? Well I wouldn't call it horror exactly.**

**Chapter summary: In the main flashback Ianto, Gavin and Gwill explore a haunted house.**

**A/N: In the present this about a week before the events of "Out of Time". Jack and Rini are now living with Ianto and Cory. If you want to know what kind of presents Jack and Rini got for everyone in California, you can use your imaginations but some things might be mentioned later on.**

**And as always, I never mean any offence by anything any characters say or think.**

**Happy Halloween!**

**That said please enjoy.**

**

* * *

**

Ianto looked wistfully at a picture of his maternal grandmother, Kylia Davies. Gran Kylia had loved all her grandchildren but Ianto was always her favourite, mainly Ianto suspected because he was the only one who believed her stories.

Kylia Davies had been a firey, passionate, and stubborn woman. She was always adamant that Iseult, her only child had not left her family on purpose. "Your mam loves you," she'd tell Ianto and his siblings "she'd never leave you if she had a choice."

Ianto was the only one who still believed her.

Kylia Davies, born Kylia Iseult Myles was born and raised in Llandudno in Northern Wales. She was passionate about persevering old Welsh traditions, most especially keeping the language alive. She firmly believed that if one considers themselves Welsh then they should speak Welsh—as a first language—otherwise they should not be called Welsh. She also wanted Wales to free from England, but she did admit that it was a "touch unrealistic at this time". She always said that the Welsh and the Scots should gang up against England.

Ianto remembered a time when he was about six and she'd said that. His granddad Jones had patted her head and said "If you can get that to happen, Kylia, then I will be happy to join you in the fight against the English oppressors." He barely managed to keep a straight face. She glared at him and said "Don't placate me, Taliesin Jones."

Ianto's siblings believed that Ianto was her favourite because he was practically a carbon copy of her late husband, Ifan Davies, whom Ianto had been named for. That wasn't the reason though, Ianto thought, because according to Kylia, her husband and youngest grandson were as different as night and day.

The story goes that Ifan Carwyn Davies, (creepily enough born exactly sixty years before Ianto) was a hard man, cold and played his cards close to his chest. It was an effort to get him to relax, but when he did he could be "the most loving man". He was angry at times though, often when he came home from his "mysterious" job. He'd kick in doors, punch walls, shout obscenities in Welsh and English and smoke like a chimney. Kylia had no idea what her husband did for a living; all he would tell her was that it was something to do with the Crown. When Ianto's mam was a teenager she started working for the same organisation, nothing too dangerous though, Ifan assured Kylia, Kylia knew it was pointless to argue. Besides, Iseult didn't work there very long because she met Ianto's tad when she was eighteen and fortunately fell in love with him.

Kylia and Ifan had been childhood sweethearts and back then Ifan had been sweet and gentle and quite the gentleman. They lost touch when Ifan went off to University. They met again when Kylia went to Cardiff for reasons she could never remember. Ifan had changed somewhat but Kylia agreed to marry him anyway. But he was broken on the inside now, and no matter how hard she tried, Kylia couldn't fix him completely and over the years he got worse. "That job, whatever it was" Kylia had said "broke him, changed him, killed the sweet boy I fell in love with years before."

Ifan Davies died of cancer in 1983, two months after his sixtieth birthday and youngest grandson's first breath. It was only near the end of his life, Kylia said that her husband started acting like the man she fell in love with. He was kind and gentle and completely adored his infant grandson. Ifan was cremated, supposedly anyway. Kylia never believed the ashes she received were his.

Ianto had tried to find out what his maternal grandfather had done for a living but had come up empty. His next step was to use Torchwood's all access pass…wait a moment…nah, couldn't be. That'd be too weird and gods knew that Ianto's had enough weirdness to last awhile.

Anyway, one of Ianto's favourite things about his Gran was that she was a phenomenal story teller and her favourite kinds to tell were spooky ones. Ianto loved listening to spooky stories, he would just prefer not to live them *cough, cough* Brecon Beacons *cough, cough*.

There was also this time when he was about thirteen, Gwill had dragged him and Gavin to an allegedly haunted house in Newport. It was not an experience Ianto wished to relive. Ever.

The house was a run down boarded up Victorian, the garden was over grown and the fence was rotted and collapsed. Nobody lived there anymore but the people in the neighbourhood occasionally reported strange noises to the police, thinking of course that criminals or homeless people had taken up residence. The police would investigate but never found anything, except for the occasional animal tracks in the dust—at least that's what the reports said.

But someone must have owned the house because it was never torn down and estate agents stayed away from it. Kids would sometimes dare each other to run up to it and knock or peek through a crack in one of the boards, but about halfway up the walk they would always freeze and turn back. They couldn't even bring themselves to pick up rocks and toss them at the house. It was the case for everyone; nobody could get closer than halfway up the walk.

Nobody that is, except for the three youngest Jones boys. There wasn't a thing on earth that could scare the brawny cop wannabe and druid in training, Gwillym and Gavin and Ianto were sceptical to say the least when it came to ghosts.

The year was 1996, the day was October 30th, and it was late, dark and storming. If there was anything Ianto hated (other than spiders that is) it was thunder and lightening. It was just such a storm.

"You're insane, Gwill. I hope you know that" Ianto said as the three of them stared up at the house from the street.

"I agree completely" Gavin stated.

Gwill ignored them and started towards the house "Come on then, lads."

Ianto and Gavin looked at each other, sighed and followed. They stopped when he did, at the halfway point. Ice cold shivers ran down Ianto's spine.

Gavin put a hand on Gwill's shoulder "You okay there, Gwill?"

Gwill shook his head as if to clear it and took a breath "yeah, fine, let's keep going" he kept his torch pointed in front of him but the light wavered—his hands were shaking. So were Gavin's and Ianto's.

Ianto didn't want to keep going, there was something suddenly very eerie about that house. His brothers kept moving forward though and he wasn't about to stay out here by himself. "Isn't this illegal though?" Ianto said as they reached the front steps, the house loomed before them "Breaking and entering?"

"It's only illegal if we get caught" Gwill responded gruffly.

"And you wanna be a copper" Gavin muttered in English.

"What if there really are criminals and homeless people in there?" Ianto asked, trying to find a reason not to go in.

"Do you have something against criminals and homeless people?" Gwill arched an eyebrow.

"Well criminals certainly."

"Yeah" said Gavin "what if there's a meth lab in there and we all get blown up?"

Gwill sighed heavily "If you two want to stay out here then by all means. If you're too cowardly to explore a harmless old house, something that Granddad Taliesin did all the time…" that did it and Gwill knew it. The one sure fire way to get a Jones boy to do anything was to imply that he was a coward while invoking the name of Granddad Taliesin (who Gwill resembled greatly), the bravest man any of them had ever met. (Upon reflection he still was, since Jack couldn't die he didn't count)

Gavin huffed "You son of a bitch."

Gwill smiled "Funny, I seem to remember us having the same mother but then I still believe you and Ianto were found in a cabbage patch."

"And you were found in a dung heap."

Ianto flinched at a flash of lightning "Can we just get this over with before the storm hits?"

Gwill ruffled his hair "That's the spirit" he tried the door, it opened instantly "hmm, I wasn't expecting that."

Gavin shone his torch over the house "All the windows are boarded up. Why isn't the door?"

"Someone probably undid it already" Gwill shrugged.

"Yeah" Ianto shivered "like meth heads and homeless people."

Gavin quirked an eyebrow "What's wrong with homeless people?"

Ianto swallowed "Nothing, it's just sometimes they're crazy and don't like it when others invade their space."

Gwill shone his light inside and stepped on the threshold "Are there any meth heads or homeless people in here?" he shouted in English "hello!" his voice echoed back.

Ianto was ever so glad he hadn't had anything to drink since before he last went to the bathroom.

Gwill looked at Ianto and Gavin "I think it's all right to go in. Come on, lads" he stepped through the door.

Ianto gulped and felt Gavin's hand in his "Don't worry baby brother," he said reassuringly "I won't let anything happen to you."

"Didn't you say that the time we went to the beach…"

"Hey, it's not my fault you couldn't keep up."

"I was six!"

"I found you though didn't I?"

Gwill's voice came from within "Come on you two!"

"We're coming, don't get your knickers in a twist" Gavin called back "Come on, Ianto let's get this over with" They entered the house; Gwill was waiting for them just inside the door.

"Where…uh…where should we start?" asked Ianto.

"Down here, then we'll go upstairs" Gwill said.

"Phew" Gavin waved his free hand in front of his face "Gwill, did you let one?"

"No" Gwill wrinkled his nose "why do you always assume it was me?"

"Because it usually always is" Gavin then looked at Ianto "Oh, baby brother what have you been eating?"

"He who smelt it dealt it, Gavin" Ianto said this in English because quite frankly it sounded better that way, at least in his opinion.

"I didn't though, maths geniuses don't fart."

"You do so; you fart in your sleep."

"Do not, that's Gwill that does that."

"He doesn't live with us anymore."

Gwill stepped between them "Children, stop it. Anyway, it's not a fart smell; it's more like something rotting. Probably just some animal that crawled in here and died. Now, come on, someone's bound to see us if we stand in the door chin wagging." He started down the front hall. Gavin and Ianto followed. Ianto glanced at his watch "Gwill, just so you know if Gavin and I aren't home before Tad gets back from poker then we're gonna be in serious trouble."

"Why? You don't have to go to school tomorrow do you?"

"Gwill, you know that's only because Tad doesn't believe we should have to on Samhain. He still wants us home at a decent hour; you know how he worries, especially about Ianto."

"And we don't know how long Gwenora's gonna cover for us" Ianto said.

"Don't worry, I'll take the blame if I have to" Gwill turned a corner. The floor creaked and outside thunder boomed.

Ianto yelped.

…

* * *

Back in the present, an equally loud booming sound violently pulled Ianto from his memories. He yelped. The sound was coming from the front door; it was like someone was kicking it. Ianto gulped, his gun was locked up in his bedroom. But maybe it was imagination; the kids were upstairs and they haven't come down wondering what the noise was. The kids? Oh, gods, his life had gotten so complicated in so short a time…

"Ianto! My hands are full, could you open the door?" It was Jack. Ianto sighed in relief, Jack had said he'd pick up dinner on his way home from work.

Ianto got up and opened the door "Sorry about that" he took the cartons of Chinese from Jack's hands "you startled me" he stepped aside to let Jack in.

Jack closed the door and locked it behind him. He took half the cartons from Ianto "I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's all right, I was reminiscing" He set his cartons on the coffee table "I think we can eat in here today" he moved to the foot of the stairs "Cory! Rini!" he called "dinner! Make sure to wash your hands!" he moved back to the couch "Jack, could you get some paper plates from the kitchen please? And something to drink?"

"Sure" Jack set his cartons down "What were you reminiscing about? Or do I wanna know?"

Ianto gave him a smile "I'll tell you later, it's not a story for children."

Cory and Rini came down the stairs then.

"Oooh, do we get to eat in front of the TV today?" asked Rini.

Ianto smiled at her "Yes, but I haven't decided if it will be on. Hands?"

She and Cory held out their hands for inspection. All four hands were clean. "What about you and Jack, Tad?" asked Cory.

Jack started to edge towards the kitchen "I'll wash them in the kitchen."

"I'll join you." Ianto told him, figuring that Jack probably couldn't handle plates and four drinks by himself, no matter how flexible he was. "You two have a seat for now, don't start eating without us."

"Do you think it'll always be this easy?" he asked Jack once they were in the kitchen and out ear shot of the kids.

"What will?"

"Getting them to do what we say."

"Honestly? Probably not. This is a new situation for both of them. Once they get used to it…" Jack shrugged "course, I'm not exactly an expert in child psychology."

"Yeah, me neither. My tad always told me that I didn't start crying like mad till a few days after Mam disappeared. Granted, I was two so I don't know" Ianto washed his hands in the sink.

"You're actually washing your hands?"

"My son has a good eye. He'll know if I don't. God, that sounds weird still, 'my son'. I'm only twenty-three."

"I know" Jack kissed his forehead, "you can handle anything though. But if it's any consolation I'm a bit older than you and I don't know what I'm doing. We'll learn together."

_Like a normal couple. I don't even know what we are anymore. _But Ianto said "Yeah and if you want to be technical, sir, you're negative three thousand-something."

If Jack were an anime character there would be a big sweat drop over his head right now, that's what it looked like to Ianto. Jack sighed "Well yes, if we go by when I was born then I am negative three thousand something."

Ianto smirked "I was born first."

"Yes you were but I've been on this planet longer."

Ianto sighed this time "Yes, I know. My god, my life has gotten so bloody complicated."

"_Your_ life? Try living mine."

Ianto blinked "No thank-you, sir."

"Daddy! Ianto!" Rini called from the living room "How long does it take for grown-ups to wash their hands?"

Jack and Ianto smiled at each other. Jack washed his hands. Ianto got out cups and plates. Jack poured the milk for the kids and Ianto poured the coffee for him and Jack. They worked in sync with each other as if they really were a real couple. It felt so right to Ianto, them being all domestic; he wondered if Jack felt it too.

…

The kids were in their beds—well in their rooms at least. Ianto was turning down his own bed when Jack appeared in his doorway and leaned against the frame "Hey."

Ianto smiled at him "Hay is for horses, sir."

Jack rolled his eyes, the blue of his robe really making them pop "May I come in?"

Ianto nodded "Of course. Close the door just in case" Just in case they got up to certain activities children should not witness.

Jack did so and took a seat in Ianto's desk chair.

"How's the robe working for you?" Ianto asked. When Jack lived alone he slept in the nude and didn't own a robe. Since there were children around Ianto requested that Jack buy a robe to wear around the house after hours. Ianto figured Rini wouldn't care if her father walked around naked but Cory had certain sensitivities—the same reason he didn't like the look of sausage and hot dogs. He also had something against bananas—the only fruit he wouldn't eat. At least not in its original shape.

Jack shrugged "Takes getting used to."

"What did you sleep in when you were in California?"

"If I slept at all it was in my clothes. So, what were you 'reminiscing' earlier?"

"Ah" Ianto sat on his bed "I hope you like spooky stories."

"As long as I don't have to live them."

"Yeah, I'm the same way—which reminds me" he stood up and went to his wardrobe. He dug out a t-shirt and held it up to Jack. It was black and in big Dracula font letters it said 'I Survived the Brecon Beacons' "What do you think? Shall I make one for everyone?"

Jack grinned "I gather you feel better about that?"

Ianto shrugged "I figure now that it's over we can start making light about it or something. But maybe the font choice is a bit much."

"You made that?"

"More or less. I just put the words on. I do silk screening in my free time. I sew occasionally too, not that I'm nearly as good as my tad." He put the shirt away and sat back down.

Jack gave him a sweet smile "I'm sure you are. Go ahead and make one for everyone but maybe the font is a bit much. Maybe you could wear it to work one day…if you can manage to go casual" this last bit was said teasingly.

Ianto threw a pillow at him "You could talk, Captain."

Jack caught it, laughing "So, spooky story?"

Ianto huffed once and sighed "Oh yes, I was thirteen, Gavin was seventeen and Gwill was twenty. Gavin, Gwenora and I were the only ones still living at home with Tad—trust me that has bearing on the story, Gwenora was supposed to be covering for us. It was October 30th and Gwill came over while Tad was at a poker game, anyway Gwill had this idea…

….

* * *

Ianto yelped.

Gavin put a hand on his shoulder "Just thunder, Ianto, nothing to be afraid of."

"Yeah" Gwill agreed "The gods are having a bowling match."

"I'm thirteen not three, Gwillym" Ianto spat.

"Then why are you afraid of thunder?"

Ianto didn't have an answer for that.

They came to the first room; it looked to Ianto like any room in an old empty house would look—very dusty. There wasn't any furniture in it, just a fire place. Outside thunder boomed and lightning flashed and it began to rain. Ianto bit his lip "Can we go home yet?"

"Not till we're done exploring" Gwill answered.

"Don't be scared, Ianto. Even if this place is haunted, ghosts can't really hurt you, at least that's what I've been told" Gavin said.

Gwill nodded "That's right."

Suddenly there was a loud crash from somewhere above them. Ianto screamed and clung to Gavin "What was that?"

Gavin's torch light started to waver; he whacked it till it was steady "Thunder?"

"That didn't bloody sound like thunder!"

Gwill took a deep breath "It came from upstairs, maybe it is a ghost."

Gavin coughed "That smell's worse and do you feel that? It's like there's a breeze in here."

"It's a drafty old house. Honestly, why are you two freaking out on me? I thought you were the sceptical ones."

Ianto's whole body shook "I just don't think we should be in here, Gwill. What if it collapses on us?"

"Sceptics and Catholics always get possessed first," Gavin muttered.

"We'll be…shhh, do you hear that?"

Gavin and Ianto listened; there was a sound coming from the ceiling above them. It sounded like singing.

_Don't you ever laugh as the hearse goes by,_

_ For you may be the next to die_

Ianto clutched Gavin's arm tighter "Can we go now? Please?"

Gwill swallowed "Let's go upstairs. If it's not a ghost, I have Tad's gun if necessary."

"You have _what_?" Gavin squeaked "How the bloody hell did you get hold of Tad's gun? He keeps it in the safe."

Gwill shrugged "So I may have borrowed it without his permission."

"He's going to kill you if whatever's up there doesn't and Ianto, you're cutting off the circulation of my arm!"

"Sorry" Ianto loosened his grip and Gavin pulled free completely.

"Come on" Gwill led them out of the room and they found the stairs. The front door was in sight, still open.

Ianto licked his lips "You know, as I recall Granddad always said that a truly brave man isn't afraid to admit when he's afraid. So, I'll wait outside, thank-you. Have fun, haze me later" he ran outside into the storm, more terrified of the house than the thunder and lightning. The door slammed shut behind him. What? He stopped running and turned around, he certainly didn't close the door and his brothers wouldn't close it would they?

Ianto had stopped running at the halfway point. He stared at the door in terror, knowing he should go back, try the door, and make sure his brothers were alright but he couldn't move.

TBC…

* * *

**I am so sorry to cut off right there but as I've said I have limited experience with spookiness and I'm not sure what should happen next. Naturally, all three of them are going to be all right since this is a flashback and they're all alive in the present. I'll try and have the rest up in a couple days or so. Any suggestions for what should happen next would be most welcome, they might inspire me.**

**As always, the more reviews I get the faster the next chapter will be up.**

**Now, would anyone like to guess what Ianto's maternal grandfather's "mysterious" job was? And why doesn't Ianto already know about it?**

**TTFN**


	19. The Haunted House pt2

**Yeah, so I am so obsessed with Jack and Ianto, I can compare them to my two favourite cats from Cats. Jack=The Rum Tum Tugger and Ianto= Mr. Mistoffelees **

**This statement has nothing to do with the following chapter; I just thought I'd share that information. Listen to the songs and you'll see why I'm able to compare them. In fact I'll put the lyrics at the bottom of the page.**

**Somebody needs to make a 'You know you're obsessed with Janto when…' list.**

**Anyway, I am so sorry this update took longer than I said it would, I feel just awful about it but I got distracted by school and crap.**

**And thank-you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter and who have been reading and reviewing or just reading. **

* * *

"Ifan Carwyn Jones!"

Ianto froze even more if that was possible—he knew that voice anywhere. He turned around slowly and sure enough his father was walking towards him from the street. "Noswaith dda, Tad" was all he could say.

Cadfael Taliesin Jones Sr., even though he was only 5'11, was still a sight to be reckoned with, especially with a stormy night sky as a backdrop. His long dark wavy hair whipped about his face in the wind and his brown eyes seemed to glow gold in the torchlight and flashes of lightning. When he reached Ianto he placed his hands on his hips and looked down at the then only 5'5' thirteen year old boy "Your sister told me where you were. Would you like to tell me why you're here?"

Ianto couldn't take it anymore, he wrapped his arms around his father and sobbed "I'm sorry, Tad…Gwill wanted to…there's something wrong with that house and I think they're trapped, I didn't close the door…it closed by itself."

Ianto felt more than heard his father sigh. Cadfael hugged Ianto to him and rubbed circles on his back "Why do you think I came after you?" he said gently "I've heard about this house. That Gwillym, I swear he's just like your grandfather."

Ianto sniffed "I shouldn't have run out"

"Don't say that. You did the right thing, leaving that house." Cadfael released Ianto but held on to his hand "now, let's try and get your brothers. It's just Gwill and Gavin in there, right?"

Ianto nodded "and whatever's haunting it"

"Don't worry about that, ghosts can't really hurt you."

Ianto took a breath "I really don't mean to tattle or anything but I think you should know: Gwill has your gun"

Cadfael sighed "I figured somebody had, I checked before I left the house. Remind me to leave it to him in my will"

It wasn't so bad walking back towards the house with his father holding his hand.

"So," said Cadfael "the door closed of its accord?"

"Yes"

"Why did you go in, in the first place?"

Ianto took a breath, loyalty to his father winning over loyalty to his brother "Well, Gavin and I didn't want to go in, because there might be criminals and stuff in there but Gwill brought up how Granddad Taliesin used to explore old houses"

Cadfael let out a frustrated sigh "Oh, if your grandfather weren't already dead I'd kill him. Him and his bloody 'misspent youth' stories, I swear, he was worse than your Gran is with her fairy tales" they reached the door. Cadfael tried the door handle—it was stuck. The door wouldn't open "well then, for some reason I figured it would do that"

…

* * *

A loud screeching sound caused both Jack and Ianto to jump and yelp a little. Jack who had moved to sit next to Ianto squeezed his hand. Jack normally didn't startle easily but he was getting into the story.

"What the bloody hell was that?" Ianto asked catching his breath.

Jack stood up and looked out the window down at the street "Sounded like tires screeching but I don't see anything" down below the street was dark and empty, the only lamp post was about 15 metres down the road "I could go check"

Ianto came to stand next to him and look out himself "No, that's all right. It was probably just some stupid teenager. But what you can do is go get me a cup of cocoa, if you don't mind?"

Jack kissed him lightly on the lips "Not at all, I think that's a fair price for story time."

Ianto smiled "and there might be more of a reward for you later on" he raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Enjoying the prospects, Jack grinned and headed downstairs to the kitchen.

…

Just how long did it take for Jack to make hot cocoa? Ianto had been waiting for fifteen minutes and he was starting to worry. Had Jack made a mess and was trying to clean it up? Preparing himself for disaster, Ianto took a deep breath and went downstairs. The kitchen fortunately was not in shambles but Jack was sitting on the counter with his knees drawn up to his chest and he looked…scared?

"Jack? Er…why are you sitting on the counter?" Ianto went up to him "what's wrong?"

Jack pointed to a corner near the sink, his hand was shaking.

What? This wasn't like Jack at all. Jack never got scared, at least Ianto had never seen him scared before. Ianto looked where Jack was pointing but didn't see anything. "What is it, Jack? There's nothing…" he took a step closer.

Jack pulled him back "Careful, it's humungous"

Ianto looked at him, thoroughly confused now "What is it? Is it an alien?"

Jack shook his head "No"

"What then? Come on, Jack" Ianto said gently "I can take it"

"A mouse" he whispered

Ianto blinked "a what?"

"A mouse" Jack said more clearly

"A…_mouse_?" Ianto repeated in disbelief "seriously?"

Jack nodded

Completely unsure of what to say, Ianto just got a closer look at the corner and sure enough there was a tiny little mouse hole. Fan-bloody-tastic. Ianto wasn't afraid of mice but he sure as hell didn't want them in his house, especially in his kitchen. "Did you actually see it?" he looked back at Jack.

"Yes, it's giant"

Ianto bit his lip to keep from smiling—this situation was funny and not funny at the same time. He went back over to Jack and took his hand "Jack, do you have something against mice?"

"They're out to get me" Jack looked positively meek

Ianto didn't ask why, he could tell Jack wasn't kidding around "That's awful, I've got spiders after me"

"Really?"

Ianto nodded "So let's make a deal: I'll kill the mice and you kill the spiders"

"Can you kill the rats too?"

Ianto bit his lip, he _hated_ rats "Uh, I'll call Gwill for that"

The corners of Jack's mouth curved upwards "Deal"

"Okay, you go back upstairs and I'll set a trap"

Jack warily got off the counter "Okay. Say Ianto?"

"Hmm?"

"Are there any mice in your story?"

"No, I promise" at least Ianto couldn't remember if there were.

…

* * *

Cadfael kicked at the door but still it wouldn't budge "Fuck" he swore "Come on, we'll try around back"

Ianto gulped "Can't we just call for them or something?"

Cadfael looked like he was considering it and then said "I suppose we can try that first but if they don't answer then we have to go in. Deal? Come on Ianto, you're a young man, not a child and I'm not leaving you out here by yourself" that statement was a bit of a contradiction but Ianto decided not to point that out.

"Deal" Ianto nodded; there really was no point in arguing with his father.

Cadfael pounded on the door "Gwillym! Gavin! Can you hear me?" he shouted.

There was no response other than the howling of the wind.

Cadfael pounded harder "Gwillym Arthur Jones, I don't care if you are an adult, you are in such trouble! I have a belt and I'm not afraid to use it, boy!" That was certainly true, Cadfael believed in corporal punishment, but he rarely carried it out. Normally, the worst punishment one of his children would get would be a slap or two on the bum or cheek and grounding. It all depended on the severity of the crime. Cadfael had to be really angry to threaten the belt; Caddy, Geraint, and Gwillym were the only ones who'd ever done something to warrant the belt before and five strikes was the highest Cadfael would go. The worst the girls ever got was confinement to their rooms. Corporal punishment got less and less as the children got older.

Cadfael sighed heavily "Times like this, Ianto, I really wish your grandfather were here. Come on then, around back"

Ianto stayed close as they made their way to the back garden, it didn't help matters that the storm was worse "Tad, are you upset with me?"

"Disappointed mainly, I thought I gave you specific instructions to stay inside tonight."

"I know; I'm sorry. It's just Gwill can be very convincing"

"What have I told you about listening to him when he gets these wild ideas?"

"To not, I'm sorry"

"Don't worry about it; right now, we have to get your brothers"

There was a loose broad over one of the back windows. Cadfael wrenched it off. He picked up a rock and used it to remove what was left of the window glass. "Gwillym! Gavin!" he called again. Still no answer.

Ianto stared through the window, not wanting to go in "I wish Granddad were here too"

"Yeah; don't even get me started on how your mam's tad would have handled this situation" he shuddered, "scary man, that Ifan Davies. Hated me, he did. Well, let's go in" Cadfael went in first and then helped Ianto through.

"Oh come on Tad, what would Grandfather Davies have done?"

Cadfael sighed "I'll explain it to you in two words: guns blazing. Now, where did you last see them?"

"At the base of the stairs; we were in a room before and we heard the Hearse Song"

Cadfael arched his eyebrows "Really? Well, I don't blame you for running out. Gwillym! Gavin!" They made their way to the staircase.

There was a loud thump above them followed by the wind howling stronger and faster through the house. Then there was what sounded like a gunshot.

"Stay here, don't move" Cadfael told Ianto and he sprinted up the stairs.

Ianto looked to his left and to his right "Uh, I'd really rather not"

…

* * *

"So as scared as I was, I followed him—no way was I staying down there alone. Plus, I started hearing that song again, 'don't you laugh as the hearse goes by'…"

Jack was one the edge of his seat "Then what happened? Obviously, Gwill and Gavin were all right. Was anyone hurt?"

"When I got to the upstairs hallway, I saw Tad pounding on a bedroom door, I heard Gwill and Gavin shouting for him on the other side. 'Gwillym!' Tad yelled 'I'm going to stand back, use the gun to open the door.' I didn't hear Gwill's response but Tad stepped back and pulled me with him…"

'I told you to stay down there' he said

'I didn't listen' I said back. Then the door blasted open and we all ran out of there"

Jack blinked "Wait, what? That's it? There's gotta be more that."

Ianto bit his lip "Well, yes there is. But…we all swore not to talk about it without consulting each other first. Besides we all made it out okay. We're all fine, well…except for the fact that I'm bipolar, Gwill hasn't seen a horror film since and Gavin's a maths teacher but other than all that we're fine." Ianto sighed "look Jack, maybe I'll tell the rest of it later, maybe in the spring, it's not as scary in the spring."

Seeing that Ianto really couldn't go any further, Jack decided not to push him "All right" Jack kissed his forehead "now, how 'bout you let me take your mind somewhere much more pleasurable"

Ianto smiled lustily "I'm all yours, Captain"

….

* * *

**Really sorry that I had Ianto not finish the story but I couldn't think. Anyway, now I get to work on a Christmas story. I have three weeks of winter break starting on the 12****th**** so hopefully I'll get the next chapter up before Christmas.**

**To my fellow Yanks: Happy Thanksgiving**

**So, what do ya'll think of Ianto's tad?**

**Here are those lyrics:**

"The Rum Tum Tugger"

The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat

If you offer me pheasant I'd rather have grouse  
If you put me in a house I would much prefer a flat  
If you put me in a flat then I'd rather have a house  
If you set me on a mouse then I only want a rat  
If you set me on a rat then I'd rather chase a mouse

The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat  
And there isn't any call for me to shout it  
For he will do as he do do  
And there's no doing anything about it!

The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore

When you let me in, then I want to go out  
I'm always on the wrong side of every door  
And as soon as I'm at home, then I'd like to get about  
I like to lie in the bureau drawer  
But I make such a fuss if I can't get out

The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat  
And it isn't any use for you to doubt it  
For he will do as he do do  
And there's no doing anything about it!

The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious beast

My disobliging ways are a matter of habit  
If you offer me fish then I always want a feast  
When there isn't any fish then I won't eat rabbit  
If you offer me cream then I sniff and sneer  
But I only like what I find for myself  
So you'll catch me in it right up to my ears  
If you put it away on the larder shelf

The Rum Tum Tugger is artful and knowing  
The Rum Tum Tugger doesn't care for a cuddle  
But I'll leap in your lap in the middle of your sewing  
For there's nothing I enjoy like a horrible muddle!

The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat  
The Rum Tum Tugger doesn't care for a cuddle

The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat  
And there isn't any need for me to spout it  
For he will do as he do do  
And there's no doing anything about it!

"Mister Mistoffelees"

You ought to ask Mr. Mistoffelees  
The original Conjuring Cat  
The greatest magicians have something to learn  
From Mr. Mistoffelees's conjuring turn

Presto!

And you'll all say:  
Oh! Well I never! Was there ever  
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

Oh! Well I never! Was there ever  
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

He is quiet and small  
He is black  
From the ears to the tip of his tail  
He can creep through the tiniest crack  
He can walk on the narrowest rail

He can pick any card from a pack  
He is equally cunning with dice  
He is always deceiving you into believing  
That he's only hunting for mice

He can play any trick with a cork  
Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste  
If you look for a knife or a fork  
And you think it was merely misplaced

You have seen it one moment, and then it is gone!  
But you find it next week lying out on the lawn!

And we all say:  
Oh! Well I never! Was there ever  
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

Oh! Well I never! Was there ever  
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

His manner is vague and aloof  
You would think there was nobody shyer  
But his voice has been heard on the roof  
When he was curled up by the fire

And he's sometimes been heard by the fire  
When he was about on the roof  
(At least we all heard that somebody purred)  
Which is incontestable proof

Of his singular magical powers  
And I've known the family to call  
Him in from the garden for hours  
When he was asleep in the hall

And not long ago this phenomenal cat  
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat!

And we all say:  
Oh! Well I never! Was there ever  
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

Oh! Well I never! Was there ever  
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

Ladies and gentlemen  
I give you the marvellous  
Magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

Presto!

**Please review, see the nice big button? It's saying 'click me!' Can't you hear it? ;)**

**TTFN**


	20. chapter20

**I've redone this chapter because I wasn't happy with it. Things were just getting too confusing and complicated and it was all happening too quickly. So, I'm sorry, I really am.**

"Jack! Jack, wake up, Tosh called, rift activity."

Jack found himself sitting up in bed soaking wet "What was that for?" he glared at the Welshman.

"You weren't waking up, which I might add is highly unusual" Ianto was holding an empty glass.

Jack untangled himself from his sheets, Ianto wouldn't have dumped water on him had it been in his own bed "what were you saying?"

"Tosh called, rift activity"

"Okay, I'll go in" he slipped on his robe and grabbed some clothes.

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"Nah, you can stay with the kids today. I'll call if we need you. Anyway, I thought you were going to decorate or something?" Jack slipped into the bathroom.

"Yeah," Ianto said from the other side of the door "but the four of us were supposed to find a tree together"

Jack zipped up his trousers and opened the door "Oh yeah, can it wait another day?"

"I guess" Ianto shrugged "I'll just string up some lights outside then"

"Sounds great" Jack closed the door again and finished getting ready.

…

…

Ianto had left Cory and Rini with Anwen and rushed to the Hub. Apparently he had to create new identities for three accidental time travellers. And tomorrow apparently, Ianto had to take them shopping—he really needed to take a look at his job description.

…

He and Jack took Ianto's car back home, having decided to go in to work together the next day.

"I'm sorry, Ianto" Jack said suddenly

"For what?" Ianto stopped at a red light; they were still about fifteen minutes from home. And no way was Jack going to drive his car.

"The tree thing, maybe we can find time tomorrow. Or I can always take those three shopping…"

Ianto glanced at Jack with a raised eyebrow "It's okay Jack, don't worry about it. I'm sure there'll be time tomorrow. Unless…you don't want to go tree shopping with us?"

"I do, of course I do. It's my first Christmas with Rini and I know she wants a tree. It's just the rift is so unpredictable…" he trailed off.

…

As they drove past their house to pick up Rini and Cory Jack was distracted from his thoughts by the fact that lights shown out of the front room window "Ianto, did you leave a light on?"

Ianto stopped the car "Just the porch light" he turned the car around without being told "do you think someone's broken in?" he pulled into the driveway.

"We'll find out" Jack pulled out his gun as he got out of the car "stay behind me"

They approached the front door cautiously and it opened.

"Put the gun away, Harkness" Gwill sounded amused "no burglars here"

Ianto came up beside Jack "Gwill, what are you doing here?"

"Come inside and see" Gwill stepped back inside.

Jack put his gun back in its holster and he and Ianto went inside.

"Surprise!" Rini and Cory stood in front of a fairly large Christmas tree that had been placed just to the right of the window.

"We hope you don't mind" said Anwen who was sitting on the couch with her and Gwill's three children

Gwill clapped a hand on Ianto's shoulder who was staring at the tree with absolute wonder "Rini insisted, something about you and Jack being too busy. So, I took her and Cory out to the tree lot…"

"It's perfect" Ianto's voice came out in a whisper

"Cory picked it out" Rini said as Jack scooped her up into his arms.

Ianto knelt by his son "You have a good eye"

Cory just shrugged "Not really, it was the best looking one there"

Ianto looked up at his brother "You put it in the same place as Gran always did"

Gwill smiled "Of course I did—I figured that's where you'd want it."

To Jack, Ianto's eyes looked a little misty as he answered "It is, yes. Well," he stood up "let's get to decorating"

"Oh" said Gwill "I also finished stringing up your lights for you"

Ianto hugged him "Diolch"

…

When Ianto went back to work after dropping off Emma and Diane, as soon as he got out of his car he was ambushed by…Gwill and Gavin.

"Come on baby brother" Gwill hoisted him over his shoulders "it's time you and Caddy have a chat"

"What?" Ianto pounded on Gwill's back "Put me down Gwill! I have to get back to work!"

"No you don't" Gavin grabbed his hands and wrapped masking tape around them "Gwill had a talk with Jack, you have the rest of the day"

"What about the kids?" Ianto said desperately

Gwill chuckled "Anwen's more than happy to look after them as long as necessary, that boy of yours is quite the helper"

Ianto sighed and then kicked some more "Help! Police brutality!"

Gwill was too strong for him "Hush, baby brother. Gav, tape his mouth"

Ianto was shoved into the backseat of Gavin's car—it was very uncomfortable. He assumed he was being taken to Cadfael's place of employment; he was head accountant for some major law firm.

Gavin came to a stop somewhere not too far from the Plass actually. He and Gwill got out of the car and then pulled Ianto out—he glared at them darkly.

Gavin smiled cheerily "We'll un-tape you and then escort you up to Caddy's office. You will behave yourself" he then ripped the tape off Ianto's mouth. It was all he could do not to scream in immense pain.

He took a breath "Can't I talk to him at the Yule dinner?"

"Nope" Gwill undid his hands "why put off tomorrow what you can do today?"

"The dinner is two days away"

"You know what I meant" Gwill kept hold of one of his arms and Gavin took the other.

Ianto sighed heavily, he supposed his brothers had a point—he'd been stubborn long enough. He was a mature adult; he probably should act like one. "All right" he said "I'll talk to him, there's no need to walk me up there"

"We were hoping you'd say that" Gavin said "but please note that should you chicken out we will find out about it"

"Yeah, yeah" Ianto pulled free of them and walked towards the building.

…

Cadfael Taliesin Jones Jr. sat behind his desk going over the law firm's recent expenses. The numbers swirled in front of his eyes—he was tired, worn out and freaking out. In two days time his house would be filled with his brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews and one uncle who according to the sound of his voice had some bad news.

"Mr. Jones" his secretary's voice came over the speaker.

"Yes, Sally?"

"Your brother is here to see you"

Cadfael rolled his eyes "Which one?" he had six of them after all.

"He says he's the youngest one sir"

Youngest one? Ianto? What was he doing here? "Send him in"

Ianto, Cadfael's youngest and frailest brother entered the office and shut the door behind him. Ianto was dressed remarkably impeccably in a three piece suit. He looked quite professional, except for the red mark across his mouth like duct tape had recently been pulled off. Ianto hadn't come here of his own accord. He took a breath

"Prynhawn da, Cadfael"

Cadfael nodded "Prynhawn da, Ifan." He stood up "You look good"

"You look tired"

Cadfael shrugged "It happens; I'd be more tired if I worked for Al's firm. What brings you by?"

Ianto shrugged "Well, not to rat on Gwill and Gavin…"

Cadfael nodded "I had a feeling those two would try something. They told me you finally moved into Gran's house"

"Big mouths"

Cadfael smiled slightly "always have been. Please sit down" he gestured to the chair on the other side of his desk. Once Ianto was seated, Cadfael returned to his own chair.

"I assure you though; I walked up here of my own accord. I got them to release me in the parking lot."

Good thing to, Cadfael thought otherwise Gwill likely would have carried Ianto all the way up here "How have you been?"

Ianto sighed "My life has been a little mad the past few weeks to be honest. I imagine you've heard about my son?"

Cadfael nodded "News travels fast in this family. I think it's very admirable of you to have stepped up like you did"

"Diolch"

"How is Cory doing? It is Cory isn't it?"

Ianto nodded "Short for Corrigan, yes. He's doing better than I thought he would, thank-you for asking."

"Gavin showed me a picture of him—he looks just like you"

"So I've been told"

"Well, if only more young fathers were like you"

"You sound old"

"Well, I'll be forty in, oh gods, less than two years, won't I? Middle age is charging towards me"

"They say forty is the new thirty"

"Tell me that when you're almost forty"

There was a slight change in Ianto's eyes and he looked at the photos covering Cadfael's desk. "Knowing how gossipy Gwill and Gavin are…I imagine they told you what I do for a living?" the tone in his voice suggested to Cadfael that Ianto didn't believe he would reach forty.

"They said you work in a tourist shop and tailor forties style clothes for some ponce special ops American captain" never mind the fact, he knew they were somewhat lying. Cadfael had met this ponce "special ops" American captain before and knew exactly what he did…worked for Torchwood which suggested to Cadfael that Ianto now worked for Torchwood too—just like Mam and Grandfather Ifan.

Ianto's cheeks turned bright red "Is that what they told you?" he seemed surprised

"Yes, they also said that this man and his daughter were living with you and Cory"

"Yes, you see, Jack…well, it's complicated"

"I see"

"So…" Ianto's lips curved slightly "Other than early onset midlife crisis, how have _you_ been?" he always was good at diverting the subject away from himself.

Cadfael went along with it for now "Well, I'm sure you've heard about the kids Gwendolyn and I have had since you moved out?"

Ianto nodded "Yes, you're insane. That's six now, right? Do you intend on having four more to tie with Tad?"

Cadfael flicked a rubber at him "Still a brat aren't you?"

"I try"

"You don't need to try"

They lapsed into silence for several moments and then they met each other's eyes and at the same time they both said "I'm sorry"

…

Later…

"Ianto, what are you doing here?" Jack stood up so quickly from digging through the cupboard under the sink, he banged his head.

"I live here, Jack. Are you okay?"

"I mean, what are you doing here so early? I thought you'd be with Cadfael longer and yes, I'll live."

"Ah, so you _were_ in on it." It wasn't a question "I don't much appreciate being kidnapped from work Jack. The only man I want tying me up and throwing me over his shoulder is you"

Jack couldn't help but smile "I'll keep that in mind"

"But as it happens, Cadfael and I had a nice chat. Oh and I was surprised to learn that Gwill and Gavin didn't tell him I worked for Torchwood"

"Good; family's important, Ianto that's why I let your brothers hijack you"

"You and Rini are invited to Yule dinner."

"That's nice"

"So are Gwen and Rhys, but I doubt they'll be there…Gwen told Anwen she couldn't get off work…never mind the fact that the dinner starts after average working hours"

"What?" Jack looked back at Ianto "She hasn't even asked me"

"I figured. The woman's obsessed with you, Jack"

"You think so?"

"Have you _seen_ the way she looks at you?"

**Maybe one day, I'll type up what happened at the Yule dinner. But I remembered I've decided to make this a collection of short stories so I'm gonna stop going in this rickety straight line. I'm gonna write what comes to my head when it comes to me head but I promise not to make things too confusing. I hope you're all okay with that. And remember I will gladly consider any suggestions for stories.**

…


	21. It's kind of obvious Tad

**I beg of you to forgive me for taking so long with updating this fic, but I wasn't happy with what I did for chapter 20 and I lost my inspiration and I was distracted by my crossover fics. Anyway, I redid chapter 20 so I suggest you reread it, in fact I almost insist upon it. But if you don't have the time, I'll tell you. I took out all mentions of Jack having an older brother and sister. Though I like the idea myself, I feel it's too soon to do anything with it. Things were getting entirely too complicated.**

**That being said, this chapter is really short but it's meant to be. See, I remembered that I decided to make "Not Unbreakable" a collection of short stories. I do have a very interesting idea for a storyline that involves Ianto's maternal grandfather, but I have a lot of planning to do. Please review, tell me your thoughts, I haven't abandoned this fic, I like it too much. I will not take so long with the next update, I promise. In fact until I have the next major storyline written I intend to keep you interested with little blurbs like this one. I ask you though to wish me inspiration.**

**The following takes place in between chapters 19 and 20.**

Ianto paced in front of Cory in the dinning room, this was not a conversation he'd been looking forward to, especially after what the boy had been through.

"Tad, is something wrong? Are you angry with me?"

Ianto kneeled in front of him "What? No, of course not; I'm more worried about you being angry with me. You see, Cory, I have something I need to tell you, something about me and Jack."

Cory cocked his head to one side "What about you and Jack?"

"Well" Ianto gulped "you know how Jack is my boss and my friend, right?"

"Uh huh"

"See, we're a bit more than friends, see, we uh…" Ianto stood up "let me try this again. Cory, there are different kinds of people in the world, different kinds of friends" he tugged at his collar "Cory, are there any girls at school you like?"

Cory blinked "Huh? Tad, what you talking about?"

"Er…"

"Need any help?" Jack stood in the doorway, Rini by his side.

"No" Ianto said flustered "I got this"

Rini giggled and went over to Cory "Our daddies like each other, like Cara Johnson likes Jake Plum"

"Oh" Cory nodded "I knew that"

Jack covered his mouth suppressing a chuckle.

Ianto looked at his son "How did you know that?"

"Well" he shrugged "it's kind of obvious Tad"

"It doesn't bother you?"

"No, why should it?"

Jack put a hand on Ianto's shoulder "See, how hard was that? Cory, I think you might just be smarter than your Tad. I'm gonna have to hire you one day"

Ianto glared at Jack "You will do no such thing"

**Again, so sorry for the shortness but I really wanted to update this today. Remember reviews make me happy, and a happy Janto shipper is a productive Janto shipper (especially if she gets enough reviews to make an even 200…not that she deserves it after taking so long to update…)**

**TTFN**


	22. Chocolate Cake

**This takes place before the events of "Captain Jack Harkness"**

**Chapter rating: G**

**Chapter genre: Cute**

**Chapter summary: Ianto and Rini want cake, Jack and Cory do not.**

**Title: Chocolate Cake**

**Thank-you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter.**

**_Oh and special thanks to hotflower901 who made the 200th review and to CelticHeiressFiona who made the 201st._**

* * *

It was the most delectable looking chocolate cake, Ianto had ever seen; three layers thick, each a different kind of chocolate, white chocolate mousse in between them. The frosting was milk chocolate with dark chocolate shavings on top. Ianto wanted it, and so apparently did Rini because she was looking at it with the same hypnotised expression Ianto was sure he was wearing.

"Tad," Cory tugged at his sleeve "Tad, we don't need cake."

"Well," Ianto began.

"But look at it, Cory" Rini said, she sounded more Welsh every day "it's all chocolately."

"Chocolate isn't healthy"

Ianto bit back a sigh, if Cory didn't look just like him, he'd wonder if the boy was even his.

"And" Cory continued "we don't need a cake. It's nobody's birthday and it's not a holiday."

While Ianto was trying to think of a valid reason to buy the piece of heaven, never once thinking that he was an adult and should be able to buy whatever the hell he wanted without being criticised by his kid, Jack showed up.

"Hey gang, sorry I'm late" Jack gave Rini a kiss and ruffled Cory's hair—the only form of touch the boy was relatively comfortable with, at least when it came to people who weren't his father. "I obviously haven't missed anything" jack indicated the empty shopping trolley.

Rini pointed to the cake "Can we buy that, Daddy?"

"What for?"

"Because it's chocolate" she said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world which to Ianto it was.

"They were drooling over it for five minutes" Cory said while smoothing out his hair. Great, Ianto's son was turning into an anal retentive vegetarian. Though he'd eat meat, he wasn't fond of it.

"That so?" Jack looked at Ianto.

"We weren't drooling" Ianto said "we were simply admiring the beauty of it, weren't we Rini?"

"Uh huh" she nodded "Please Daddy, it's Friday."

"Yeah, Jack, please" Ianto gave him puppy dog eyes, which was always difficult for a man with blue eyes. He had to wonder though what any onlookers were thinking of the conversation.

Jack crossed his arms "I thought we were talking about a healthier diet"

"You and Cory were talking about a healthier diet. Rini and I didn't agree to anything."

Rini tugged at Jack's coat "Come on, Daddy, it's chocolate and Friday."

Jack crouched down to her level "Chocolate and Friday are not good reasons to buy a cake, sweetie. Nobody has a birthday coming up and there are no more holidays this month,"

"That's what I said" Cory crossed his arms.

And while Ianto said "Burns Night!" Rini said "Martin Luther King Jr. Day!"

Jack stood up and sighed "One at a time. Rini, you first."

"Martin Luther King Jr. Day is coming up. We can have the cake then. It's a holiday."

"In America" Jack said "we're not in America."

"So?"

"Yeah, so?" Ianto agreed "it's still a holiday, a very important one at that"

"And yet, America's Black History month is in February, I never understood that. Now, Ianto what is it you said?"

"Burns Night, Jack. Burns Night is on the twenty-fifth and it's celebrated on this island."

"Yeah" said Rini "what's Burns Night?"

"It celebrates the life of Robert Burns, the best poet Scotland has ever produced."

Jack sighed again "We're not in Scotland, Ianto"

"So? Should that matter?"

Jack rolled his eyes "Next thing, you'll be wanting to celebrate Dylan Thomas's birthday."

"Well, what's wrong with that?" Ianto said innocently "but his birthday isn't till October."

"Come on everyone, we have shopping to do"

"But Daddy," Rini whined

"Serena, your birthday's next month, you can choose whatever kind of cake you want and Ianto your birthday's six months after that, the same goes for you. Now, Cory, you have that list we made?"

Cory pulled a slip of paper out of his pocket "Yes sir, do you want me to start reading it?"

"Please" Jack took control of the shopping trolley and left the bakery section, obviously expecting everyone to follow. Cory did, he walked alongside the trolley.

Ianto and Rini stood there for a minute and stared after them.

Ianto sighed heavily "I suppose we should go with them, make sure they don't get anything too disgustingly healthy."

"Yeah" she sighed

Then Ianto had an idea, a deceitful idea but at the moment he didn't care. "Rini, do you have to use the restroom?"

"No" she looked up at him

"Yes, you do" he took her hand and led her up to the counter. He smiled sweetly at the girl behind it "Can we get the cake by the slice?"

"Yay!" Rini hugged him

Ianto and Rini would share the slice of cake later and he hid it in a compartment in the SUV. He hoped Jack would have no reason to go in there. Jack and Cory believed the excuse of Rini having to pee, especially since they hadn't even noticed Rini and Ianto weren't with them the whole time.

"Anyway, Ianto" Jack said "if you really wanna celebrate Burns Night, I'll let you go up to Glasgow and spend it with Archie"

Ianto looked at him "Have I ever done anything truly that terrible to you? If I have, I'm sorry."

* * *

**A/N: I'm not sure if the TW2 commander's name is Archie, I think I heard it somewhere, but if it's not or if we don't know, let's pretend it is. It could be just what Jack calls him, I don't know.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this little story and please review, reviews make me so very happy.**

**TTFN**


	23. Commander Davies

**This is set during "Combat"**

**Summary: Jack tells Ianto what Hermes has been bugging him to.**

**I hope you like. By the way, as always I cannot control what any of the characters do or say (especially Hermes) so no offence is intended. **

* * *

After Jack and Ianto left the weevil victim/suspect, Jack had to pee. They were nearly out of the hospital but Jack couldn't wait.

"Hold on a minute, Ianto" he went into the nearest men's room.

As he was washing his hands, Hermes appeared next to him "Hello Jack"

Jack did a fairly good job of pretending not to be startled "Hello Hermes, something I can do for you?"

"I would like to know why you haven't told Ianto about…"

Jack sighed "something came up. I was gonna tell him on Solstice but I never got the chance. Then I was gonna tell him on Christmas Eve but…"

Hermes held up a hand "Yeah, I know, Gabe told me."

Jack blinked "Gabe?"

"Yeah, John Ellis got a special treat having an Archangel guide him."

Archangel? Oh, Hermes must mean Gabriel, he did like to shorten everyone's name to one syllable "There was an angel in that garage?"

"Yep. One of my best friends and vice president of the Divine Messenger Club."

"I never know when you're kidding"

"You never will" he winked "anyway, Ianto's probably wondering what's taking you so long. Another thirty seconds and he'll come in to check on you."

"Right so, I'll just…"

"Tell him about you know what before I tell him for you."

* * *

….

Jack left the restroom wondering why anyone ever worshipped Hermes and bumped right into Ianto "Sorry"

"Me too. I was just going to see if you were all right. You were in there longer than usual. Are you okay?"

Jack took Ianto's hand and whispered "I was talking to you-know-who"

"You were talking to Voldemort?" Ianto deadpanned

"Ianto."

Ianto smiled slightly "Okay, so what'd Hermes want?"

"Oh, the usual, to annoy me and to remind me of something. Come on, let's get back to the Hub. There's something I should tell you."

"Whatever it is Jack, I'm sure it can wait till after we stop these weevil nappers."

And in a rare display of public affection, Jack hugged him and kissed his cheek.

As they walked to the SUV, Ianto said "I found some of my grandfather's old suits in the attic, there's this really nice one from the forties."

Jack fought to keep his composure "Oh yeah?"

"Yep. He would have worn it when he was my age, I think. Anyway, I was thinking I could put it on later and we could maybe" he thickened his accent and ran a hand down Jack's arm, "do some role playing."

Jack couldn't keep his composure anymore "No, Ianto, no. You look just like him and if you wore his clothes I wouldn't be able to…just no, absolutely not."

Ianto blinked "Jack, what…you didn't know my grandfather did you?"

Jack sighed "I'm actually surprised you weren't aware but Ifan Davies holds the Torchwood record for living the longest—besides me anyway."

….

* * *

Ianto was also surprised he didn't know this—he knew everything about Torchwood 3. He steadied himself on the SUV which they'd finally arrived at "My grandfather was in Torchwood?" he had wondered before but didn't think it was possible.

"He became commander of Torchwood 3 just after your mother was born. The Queen named him so herself, he apparently had better qualifications than me, which I admit he did."

"Well," Ianto got in the car and when Jack was in too he said "that's interesting."

"And while I'm at it" Jack started the engine "your mother was the archivist for a few years before she met your father."

Ianto looked at him "What?" his _mother_? _His mother_ had worked for _Torchwood_?

Jack pulled out of the parking lot "Never went out in the field though, your grandfather wouldn't let her"

"My mother?" Ianto's voice came out in a whisper and then a horrible thought crossed his mind "you never…?"

Jack understood "No, never touched her. She was just a teenager at the time and her father would have found some way to kill me permanently if I so much as looked at her the wrong way."

That was a relief because otherwise, eww, just eww. "He wasn't fond of my father either."

"Fond enough to give his permission when your dad asked for your mother's hand in marriage. It was actually kind of funny, Ifan told me about it afterwards. He said to your dad 'you just want her hand? Why not the rest of her? And you'll have to ask her yourself'."

"Really? Tad never talked about when he asked Mam to marry him. Why would Grand-dad Ifan tell you that?"

"We were friends, before he took command anyway. He was a good man but you know what Torchwood does to people. He took his anger out on his house and on me. He used me for target practise quite a bit. When he was diagnosed with cancer he only got angrier but the something miraculous happened."

"What?"

"You were born," Jack stopped at a red light "and he mellowed out considerably. He got back the attitude of the twenty year old he was when he was recruited."

"Me being born was miraculous?"

"Oh yes," Jack grinned "because if you weren't we'd all be coffee deprived because your mother was the only other person who could work that damn machine" the light turned green.

Ianto rolled his eyes "So, you and my grandfather were just friends, right?"

Jack smiled "Not for my lack of trying but the man was hopelessly in love with and devoted to your grandmother. I was best man at their wedding though"

"_That's_ why you look familiar" Ianto snapped his fingers "there's pictures of you in one of Gran's photo albums. Oh my God. You danced with her."

"Best man always gets to dance with the bride where I come from. I tried to dance with the groom but he said 'Jack, maybe you enjoy it but I don't fancy being killed'."

"Well, it was the forties wasn't it?"

Jack nodded "1946, six years after he joined. Torchwood was the reason he wasn't in the military. He was set of to join the Royal Welch Fusiliers but one night he came across me fighting a hoix, helped me out. He was so good, I just couldn't Retcon him."

"So you recruited him?"

"Yeah, it's my fault. That's why I didn't want to hire you at first. You do look just like him so I knew who you were right away. I didn't want to ruin your life too. Then I found out that Torchwood One already had."

Ianto put a hand on Jack's thigh "If you hadn't recruited him Jack, he might have died in the war or he never would have met up with Gran again and I wouldn't be here."

"Well, when you put it like that" Jack turned into the car park they used.

"My other grandfather died when I was eight, he was a captain in the army and he'd always tell us that Grandfather Davies was a coward for not serving in the war."

"Ifan Davies was no coward. Taliesin Jones was just jealous, he knew damn well what Ifan did for a living."

"He did?"

"Yes, though I have to admit your other grandfather was no coward either. I met him the first time I was in London during the war. Complete jerk, badmouthed the RAF the whole time and every time I was in the room he badmouthed America. Normally that wouldn't bother me but it was directed at _me_. As much as I wanted to hit him, I was mortal at the time and I didn't want to risk it."

"I don't blame you, Gwill looks just like him."

"I know" Jack shuddered.

"But how did Grand-dad Taliesin know about Torchwood?"

"That I'm not too sure of that but anyway, I believe we have some weevil nappers to find."

That night after getting home and relieving Gavin of babysitting duty, Jack and Ianto sat in the kitchen with cocoa.

"What did Grand-dad Ifan think of your—er—sexuality?" Ianto had to ask.

"He was okay with it, didn't understand it but he wasn't one to meddle in other people's lives. Though I have to say, if he knew what I was doing in _his_ house with _his_ grandson, he'd kill me and then kill me again."

"Why's that?"

"He didn't think I was capable of being faithful to someone."

"Well, your libido is somewhat astronomical."

Jack looked into Ianto's eyes "Ianto, while I'm with you I won't be with anyone else."

"Jack, I don't expect you to be exclusive to me. I'm not asking anything—"

"I know, that's why I'm going to be" he leaned in and Ianto met his kiss halfway.

"Any other reason he'd kill you?" Ianto asked.

"He wouldn't think I was good enough for you."

"Oh well," Ianto began to unbutton Jack's shirt "how 'bout we go upstairs and prove him wrong?"

"Mhmm," Jack put his hands on Ianto's waist "in what was his bedroom too, sounds good to me."

* * *

**I hope you liked it. Please review, and tell me what you think.**

**TTFN**


	24. If Anything Ever Happens

**This starts the night before the events of "Captain Jack Harkness" (which I will address some other time) and I think you should be able to follow it from there. It's really short but it's meant to be. Mainly because I'm still working on what happens after Jack takes out Abadon.**

**Oh and there's a question for you all at the bottom. Please respond, it'll help.**

* * *

Jack's scent was always intoxicating, especially after sex. As Ianto lay there breathing in the delightful aroma, Jack suddenly took his hand "Ianto, I'd like to ask you something"

Ianto turned on his side to face him, his feelings for Jack felt so intense at this moment he would agree to anything Jack asked. In fact, a brief image of tuxedos and cake flashed through his mind. Rini would make such an adorable flower girl—whoa, where the hell did these thoughts come from? Ianto blinked "Yes, Jack?"

"Remember when I told you about the Doctor and what might happen if he shows up?"

Well, that was a relief and a disappointment at the same time. Granted, there hadn't even been any declaring of love. "That you might disappear accidentally, yes" What was Jack getting at?

"If that happens, if I'm gone for longer than I intend, which is only a few minutes to get my answers, then I want to make sure Rini is taken care of. If the Doctor can fix me and make me mortal then if anything ever happens to me—Ianto Jones, what I'm asking is, will you be my daughter's godfather?"

There was that warm buttery maple syrup down his throat feeling again. Ianto sat up, still holding Jack's hand "Really, Jack?"

Jack sat up too "Yes, Ianto, believe it or not, I trust you more than anyone. So, will you? If anything ever happens to me, will you take care of my daughter?"

There was no doubt in Ianto's mind "As if she were my own, Jack. I love her to bits already." _And I love you, if only I could say it._

Jack smiled "She does have that effect on people, thank-you Ianto. I can't tell you what this means to me."

Ianto took hold of Jack's other hand "I'm honoured and Jack, in the more likely event that something happens to me—"

"Don't talk like that," Jack squeezed his hands tighter

"But if it does, will you look after my son? Be Cory's godfather? I know he's a bit people shy but you two get along great; you're both health nuts."

"Hey, if I were a health nut, I wouldn't eat pizza"

"Jack? Will you take you of my son?"

"As if he were my own, Ianto, already as if he were my own."

…

There were times when Ianto hated being bisexual, this was one of those times. He knew in his head, he knew that this wasn't Lisa, that it was just an image of her. Lisa was dead and the Rift had nothing to do with that. The part of Ianto that fancied women still loved Lisa though. At the same time, he loved Jack. Now, he understood why his completely gay brother accused bisexuals of being confused.

…

It broke Ianto's heart to disobey Jack's order to stop Owen but people were being hurt, they had to do whatever they could to help and if opening the Rift would help…

…

It was all happening so fast; Ianto didn't know what to do. He'd never seen Jack die before and when Owen shot him, Ianto regretted what he'd done. But it was too late to stop what they were about to do.

…

Jack only wanted Gwen to go with him, Just Gwen. Why? Ianto wondered, why her? _Aren't we…I don't know_. Jack didn't let go of Ianto till he got in the car and one look in Ianto's eyes told him more than words could ever say

_I forgive you. I love you. You make sure you stay alive for the children. _And Ianto understood what Jack meant to do. He hoped the look he gave Jack said _I love you too and I promise_ because he meant it.

* * *

**Okay, so I'm wondering whether or not to go even more AU than we already are. Now, that Jack has a family would he be stupid enough to risk leaping onto the TARDIS? I can think of other ways for Jack to get his answers and we can always deal with the Master some other time. And we can find some other way for Martha to leave the Doctor and meet that Milligan guy. Besides, I've never been fond of that year that never was thing. Pretty please tell me your thoughts, I would appreciate it very much.**

**One more thing: What do you all think of Jack and Ianto having their own child (with both their DNA) sometime down the line? How would we do that? I'm open to suggestions.**

**TTFN **


	25. Choice

**I hope you like how I changed a couple of things.**

**Chapter title: Choice**

**Chapter genre: err…**

**Chapter rating: PG-13 or so…**

**Chapter summary: What goes on while Jack is "dead". You'll see.**

**Without further ado and don't forget to review. ****Si vous plait****? **

* * *

First, Ianto helped Owen pry Gwen away from Jack and then he and Owen carried Jack to the SUV. It was disconcerting that Jack hadn't woken up yet but if Ianto had read that look right then he was prepared for the possibility that…

_Seven days,_ Hermes' voice was suddenly in his head.

_What? Seven days what?_

_Because I'm your friend, I'm telling you. You deserve to know, if Jack doesn't wake up in seven days then he's not going to._

Ianto didn't answer; he was prepared for that possibility. Jack, after all he'd been through deserved rest, sleep so if he didn't come back then Ianto would understand. Gwen on the other hand was absolutely adamant that he'd wake up and she was clinging to his body after she got back from checking on Rhys.

"I want to sit with him" she said more forcibly

As Owen and Tosh began to move away, Ianto said "Why? He wouldn't want you to. He'd want you to stop moping and get back to work."

TWTWTWTWTW

Jack found himself, completely naked (not necessarily a bother) in a blindingly white room. That was a little disconcerting—he usually remembered getting naked. Wait, didn't he just defeat Abadon? If he was awake now, shouldn't he be somewhere, a little less white? Being confused put a damper on his mood, he'd been confused a lot ever since he met…

"Hello, Jack, sleep well?" Hermes stood; well floated actually, over him, wearing the outfit Ianto had said he wore to guide Sarah.

Jack stood "Hermes, what the hell is going on? Where am I?"

Hermes leaned on his staff "I notice you haven't asked 'why am I naked?'"

Jack crossed his arms and glared at him.

"Right, moving on. You brooding self-sacrificing hero guys, I swear…" he cleared his throat "anyway, Jack, you defeated Abadon, well put him back to sleep really—you can never actually kill something like that."

"So my plan worked?"

"Oh, yes. He overdosed on you, no doubt about that. The world has gone back to normal, well as normal as possible anyway."

"So, where am I then? What is this place? And why are you dressed like that?"

Hermes stood up straight "Simple explanation: You're dead, Jack"

Jack rose his eyebrows "I've been dead before, nothing like this has ever happened."

"You've never had a death like you just had before. Jack, you're dead, as in dead."

"Fine, when will I wake up?" then a thought crossed his mind "wait, dead? You said it three times, there's something significant about that isn't there?"

Hermes sat crossed legged in the air "Give the man a prize"

"Am I actually dead? As in I won't be waking up, dead?"

"Oh that is actually up to you."

"What does that mean?"

Hermes leaned forward "It means Captain that you've been given a choice very few have."

Jack wished there was a chair to sink into. Suddenly, there was the one from his office "Where did that come from?"

"I imagine you wished it here. Don't worry, it's perfectly safe. You can make anything you like appear here."

Jack sat, it certainly felt like his chair "And where is here?"

Hermes uncrossed his legs and stood, still not touching the ground "I like to call it the In Between, some call it Limbo, while others may call it the Shores of the Styx. What you want to see is what you see. I imagine the whiteness is because you lack an idea of what the In Between and Afterlife should look like."

Jack nodded; he was starting to catch on "So I can make this place look however I want?"

"As long as you can picture it clearly in your mind, yes."

The space began to change but instead of the Hub, it became…his mother's kitchen? "What? This isn't…you couldn't ask me to describe this place."

Hermes knelt next to him "Perhaps not in words. This place is tricky, Jack"

"You said I can make this place look however I want"

"Yes I did, however what you want and what you _think_ you want are very different things. This place, it reads what's in your heart, your soul, what's been on your mind and lately, you've been missing your mother. And anyway, no decent son ever forgets his mother's kitchen"

Jack stood up, found himself in that robe Ianto insisted he buy "I can smell brownies baking. My mom made great brownies, sometimes I can still taste them, like right now. Even when I'm around other brownies, it always brings back memories."

"Smell and taste can be the strongest memory triggers. My mama makes great baklava" Hermes stood again and still touched nothing. But Jack could touch, he felt the robe on his skin, the stone counter under his hand.

"Why aren't you touching anything?"

"I can't, not here. This is all you, if I touch anything the image becomes distorted. I can touch you but not till you've made your choice."

Jack moved to the sink, the window above it was open, the breeze blowing in the scent of the sea. It was a quiet day out there. He breathed in deeply "I try not to think of the past too much."

"Why not?"

"Too painful"

"All the more reason you should talk about it. Suppressing it will only make it worse."

Jack looked over his shoulder at him "I'd pay good money to see you say that to the Doctor"

Hermes grinned "Bring it on."

Jack looked back out the window "Ianto's sister, Edythe said something like that about suppressing at the Yule dinner when they were trying to get him to open up about the past few years."

"Well, Edythe is a psychologist"

Jack turned around to face him "What's this choice about then?"

"I would have thought you would have figured that out by now"

Jack crossed his arms and leaned against the counter "Humour me"

Hermes sighed "About one hundred and forty years ago in your life time, you were killed by daleks on a space station. Then you woke up."

"I know that part" Jack was getting irritated "I don't know why though"

"Jack, I can't tell you unless you…" he trailed off as if uncomfortable and he muttered something in Greek.

"Unless what?"

"Franklin John Jackson Jr, let me do my job! Now, just listen."

Jack's knees buckled at the sound of his given name. He moved back to his chair.

Hermes paced in the air in front of him "You woke up. You tried to follow the Doctor with your vortex manipulator but you ended up in 1869 where the manipulator promptly shorted out and you were stuck. After several futile attempts to repair it you gave up and accepted your fate always hoping to run into another Time Agent. You travelled the world always miraculously surviving accidents that should have been fatal. You in your ignorance put it off to your 51st century DNA till one day on Ellis Island…"

"Hermes, I know all this, I was there"

Hermes leaned down and got in Jack's face "You know that saying 'Don't shoot the messenger'? I invented it, but there's more to it that got lost in translation somewhere You wanna know what it is? Don't piss off the messenger either! And don't make me say your name again" his eyes flashed "Understand boy?"

Jack sank further into the chair, Hermes was very frightening when he was being a god "Yes sir"

"Good" Hermes went back to pacing and his voice softened "You were shot point blank in the heart. When you woke up, it clicked. You realised you had trouble in the dying department. That's when you began your mission to find the Doctor; 'First, I'm going to kiss him and then I'm going to kill him', you said. Eventually, you joined Torchwood Cardiff because you had nothing else to do—a spooky little girl had told you the century would turn twice before you found the Doctor again…"

Jack was getting bored, he knew all this but he didn't dare interrupt Hermes again. Hermes began to recount Jack's early days with Torchwood and how he was with each commander. _Boring._

"…but only one commander ever intimidated you despite being friends first and Ifan Davies was the only human after your mother who get you to shut up just by looking at you. Though, I think Ianto's learning quickly isn't he?"

The pause told Jack he was free to speak "Oh yeah" he said softly, thinking of his Welshman and their makeshift little family "Hermes, is there a direction you're going with all this?"

"Oh yes and I've only just begun." Hermes then took Jack through the days leading up to now and then back tracked to his life BD (Before Doctor). Jack had to wipe his eyes a time or two. Finally, Hermes changed pace "Now that we've covered your current life, we're going to go over your past ones."

"What?" Jack sat up (he'd been slumping in the chair, wishing this was all a dream and he'd wake up next to Ianto in bed) "What for?"

"Because this is your last one" he spoke as if it should be obvious and then he said, going into explaining mode "when a person on their last life dies they always have a chance to review their past lives, see how their soul's developed."

"Okay, I guess that makes sense but—wait, didn't you say earlier that waking up would be up to me?"

"That's right"

"So, the choice is I can choose to die for good or go back to my life?"

Hermes stopped pacing and floated in front of him "I suppose there's no harm in going over that now. Yes, and that's why I'm here. I am after all a Guide of Souls. Because of what you did, going after Abadon unsure if he'd kill you or not was a selfless sacrificial act. The Higher Powers have granted you this. You can now rest if you wish and await your loved ones in the Afterlife. However, if you choose to awaken you will live for a very long time because the Doctor will not be able to undo what has been done. And if you choose to awaken you will still have to wait for the Doctor to tell you why you can't die."

Jack's mouth felt dry and he swallowed "So, are you here to tell me what I should choose?"

"No, I'm here to Guide you, difference. I will tell you the ups and downs of each option. Firstly, if you choose to awaken whenever you do die again you will not be allowed to view your past lives because we're going to do that now, whether you like it or not."

Jack sighed, "Whatever"

"Before we begin, do you know who your Soulmate is?"

Without thinking, without hesitation Jack said "Ianto" and knew he was right.

"And why do you think that?"

"I don't think, I know. Being with him just feels right, like I've known him forever. I felt something that night we met in the park and the next night in the warehouse."

Hermes smiled "Absolutely correct. You've known him in almost every life since your first though I must tell you he's a couple lives older than you, but that happens sometimes. D'you know how old I was before my Sweetness came along."

Jack leaned back "I find it interesting that we have the same taste in women"

"I actually don't like Gwen that much"

"What is it with people not liking Gwen? I don't get it"

"You would if you were a hardcore Janto shipper"

"A Janto shipper? What does that…" and then Jack put two and two together or rather took two and two apart "oh, Jack and Ianto, Janto, cute. Is that something from the reality where Torchwood is a TV show?"

"Yep. Anyway, back to the topic at hand—"

"Wait, didn't you tell me that Ianto was on his last life right now?"

"Yes, so the past few lives you were without him but that also happens, in fact I won't even cover those lives 'cause they're not that important. We will start with your first life and this time you get to see pictures"

…

It was a complete whirlwind viewing his past lives with Ianto, at times confusing because Hermes had a tendency to talk fast. All the lives made sense though until…

"What?" Jack exclaimed

"I kid you not" the image was of two teenage boys in the late twenties or early thirties "why do you think you were so drawn to him and him to you?"

Jack swallowed "You're telling me that Ianto…"

Hermes nodded "was the original Captain Jack Harkness, yes. You were his boyhood love, Raymond Johnson. The two of you kept it secret of course, it being the American mid-west and the Great Depression and all. You were always more open than him. Some prejudice bastards figured you out and beat you to death. That prompted Jack to join the military and as soon he could leave the country. He volunteered for the RAF and I think you know the rest."

Jack sank back into his chair as he had shot up upon recognising the real Captain Harkness "I don't believe it. I mean, yeah I felt something for him and yeah, for some reason he did remind me of Ianto—kissed like him too. Ianto hates flying though."

"Often fears humans have in their current lives have something to do with their deaths in past lives. Captain Jack Harkness died in a firey plane crash—which by the way was not enemy caused."

"What?" Jack stood up again

"It was 1941 and you kissed him in front of other people. He was the only one of his crew to be killed that day."

"You're saying he was killed because he kissed another man?"

"Yes, homosexuality was a touch illegal back then or have you forgotten that?"

Jack sighed "I never paid attention to the rules—damn twentieth century. What next?"

"You are still alive."

"What?"

"The life you had after Raymond Johnson, Bleddyn Llewellyn is still alive and living in Seattle."

Jack blinked "How does that work? And I'm Welsh?"

"As Bleddyn Llewellyn, yes and it works because you're a flippin' time traveller" the image Hermes showed was of a man in his late fifties, staring misty eyed at an urn on a mantle piece. "His incarnation of Ianto died in July 1983, hit and run. He's been mostly alone ever since. Oh, he's tried dating on and off but he misses Martyn too much. He wants to spread Martyn's ashes on a beach in Pembrokeshire but he hasn't been able to afford the trip back. He'd like to spend his last days in Wales himself—his liver's starting to fail him. He has an attachment to the bottle"

"Why's he in Seattle in the first place?"

"You _were _him Jack, you tell me"

Jack thought for a moment and suddenly it came to him "My job at the time, Martyn went with me" he blinked and shook his head "this is creepy, are we done yet?"

The image faded "Certainly, now we can discuss your options"

Jack sat back down "Great"

"Sarcasm does not become you Captain"

Jack sighed, "Whatever. So, if I choose to die? And don't tell me something obvious like not being able to walk my daughter down the aisle at her wedding"

Hermes began to pace again "And that's an important one for most fathers. Well, let's see, should you choose rest, it will of course be you waiting for your loved ones. Which is an upside in my book, you will not have to bury Ianto, Rini, Cory and everyone else. No parent should have to bury a child, should you choose to live you will have to go through that pain."

"You think I haven't already?" Jack said quietly "Sarah's not the only woman I've ever married, you know?"

"Yes, Jack I know. That picture though, to me makes her look like a transvestite. Or a butch woman trying to look all girly in a wedding dress. Sure it wasn't one of those old time photos that you and a flamer boyfriend had done?"

"Hermes" Jack glared but couldn't help a bit of mirth. Sometimes Hermes' babbling reminded him of the Doctor "Heather was a woman; she was just a bit of a tomboy. She worked for Torchwood 4 when we met and she transferred to Cardiff By the way, do you know where Torchwood 4 is? They've been missing for over seventy years now, Heather was there visiting when we lost contact. Freddy was with me."

"This was in the thirties wasn't it? Before Estelle?"

Jack nodded "I'd sent Freddy to Heather's parents, otherwise Estelle and I…" he trailed off

"Why'd you send your son away?"

"He was safer with his grandparents. I kept in touch though, for as long as I could"

"What happened to him?"

"Korea happened." Jack said miserably

"You haven't told Ianto yet have you?"

"No. Can we get back to my options now?"

"Yes of course. Should you die, Gwen will take command because Owen can be a lazy sot. Ianto will accept this for awhile—till he stops taking his bipolar medication anyway."

"Why would he do that?"

"He'll claim it makes him feel better. The kids will be devastated but as they are young…Cory will handle it better than anyone, despite Rini knowing you're safe in the Afterlife. She just got her daddy, losing him so soon will… well; Cory will be her main support. Ianto tries for awhile to keep his promise to you, to look after the children. But single fatherhood and work start to bog him down. He'll start drinking heavily and then he'll start refusing to follow Gwen's orders, saying she's doing things differently than you. He'll tell her that he has seniority and shouldn't have to listen to her. When Ianto gets really angry he gets violent—he has his grandfather's temper, did you know that?"

Jack couldn't speak for a few moments, the shock of this insane yet at the same time quite possible scenario making him feel ill "I had an inkling, seen him in the shooting range taking out his anger. He's better at suppressing it than Ifan was though."

"Only if he's sober and has been taking his medicine. One day he'll drink too much, and one of the children will get in his way. He'll realise of course what he's done and run out of there before anyone else is hurt. He'll get in his car and…" he didn't finish, didn't need to.

Jack stood up and started pacing himself "But there's no guarantee that this will happen, right? That's just the worst possible scenario, isn't it? Especially with you there to keep an eye on him"

"True" Hermes agreed "Ianto could well remain sober and take his meds. He'd leave Torchwood though, to ensure he stay around for the kids as long as possible. The rest of the team will be fine, hiring more people and the like."

"I like that one better"

"Ianto won't be the same without you though. He'll understand and he already does why you'd choose rest. But he'll miss you terribly and won't find anyone else. He'll open a tailor shop though specialising in the styles of 1750 to 1950—quite popular with re-enactment types."

"Well that's all right. Will he be happy? He'll still have the kids."

"Cory will join Torchwood at age eighteen against his father's wishes. He'll take over Ianto's old duties, his first job reorganising the Archives, after Ianto leaves they'll go to hell in a hand basket, in fact the entire Hub would be a mess."

"Ianto does keep the place running, I just give the orders."

"About six months later Cory will be killed in an explosion that was caused by a Graske"

Jack looked at him "Oh that's just embarrassing" then he shook his head, realising what he'd said "how does Ianto take it?"

"How do you think? He blames Torchwood but Rini will help him through it, so will his brothers and sisters. Then Rini will join Torchwood, her goal to take command. She'll fall in love with and marry a young Torchwood operative. Ianto will give her away—two months later a heart attack gets him and you're reunited in the Afterlife. This is of course barring any and all alien invasions that could happen between now and then"

Jack sighed heavily "Though this one is better than that other one, I'm still not happy with it I don't want my daughter in this business, my godson either for that matter. I was kidding when I said I'd hire him some day. What happens if I live?"

Hermes shrugged "Something better"

"Let me guess, you can't tell me exactly unless I choose to die, is that right?"

"Sort of. If you live you will soon run into the Doctor and he'll be able to tell you why you can't die. I recommend though that when you're running at the TARDIS, have your key out so you can get in. We don't want you clinging to the outside like a barnacle while it dematerialises."

"I'm not stupid, that'd be risking falling through time. Why would I…is that in the TV show?"

"Maybe"

"Writers must be on drugs" Jack muttered

Hermes smiled "Ya know, I wish I could take you to that reality so you could tell them what you think. That'd be hilarious and I'd pay good money to see how you'd interact with John Barrowman—the actor who plays you."

"I'd enjoy it but anyway…what else will happen if I live?"

"What else happens is based on the decisions you make but you will live a very long time but not as long as you could have. When you kissed Ianto after the cyberwoman knocked him out you gave a fraction of your life away to keep him from dying. You've done that with a few other people as well."

Interesting, Jack thought, maybe if he did it enough times…"if I live how long will Ianto and the children be waiting for me in the Afterlife?"

"Time has no meaning there or here so you'll be with them almost instantaneously after they die."

"How long has it been out there? For them? Since Abadon?"

"Few days, Gwen's keeping vigil over your body, glaring at anyone who tries to pull her away, get her back to work. Ianto told her that you wouldn't want her moping."

"That's right, and she didn't listen…"

"Haven't you noticed? Nobody on your team listens to Ianto except you. Oh Ianto wants to say to her things like 'he's not your boyfriend, _your_ boyfriend is alive because we committed mutiny', 'stop clinging to him, if anyone should be clinging to him it should be me', 'you don't have to change the subject every time his daughter asks "when will Daddy be home?"', 'speaking of his daughter, she is the only female he loves right now so stop bloody acting like you're the only one who misses him'."

Jack shoved away the image of Ianto and Gwen fighting over him in oil. Ianto would win, he's tricky "And why hasn't he said those things?"

"Keeping his tongue in check, thinks he'd get in trouble if you wake up."

"Does he want me to wake up?"

"Of course he does but he also feels that you deserve rest. He thinks Gwen is being a selfish bitch."

"Funny how they're connected, Ianto and Gwen; Ianto's sister-in-law's brother is Gwen's boyfriend. I mean if Gwen married Rhys, they'd have shared nieces and a nephew."

Hermes stopped pacing "You make a decision yet, _Franklin_?"

"What do you think?"

TWTWTWTWTW

Ianto reached for Jack's coat again but decided against it, the more he touched it the less like Jack it would smell. "Jack, I swear…" he sighed and realised he was quoting Brokeback Mountain "stupid bloody common name" he mumbled. He then decided to check on Jack with the pretence of checking on Gwen who he thought would surely turn to stone (or a pumpkin) if she kept sitting there, not doing anything. He was starting to see why his sister-in-law didn't like her much; said Gwen wasn't good enough for Rhys. Sisters though, their judgement tended to be clouded where their younger brothers were concerned.

He brought a cup of Jack's favourite coffee down with him, just in case. Gwen was standing over Jack smoothing out his hair. Ianto suppressed the burst of jealously bubbling inside him "Prynhawn da, Gwen"

"Oh, hi Ianto. Is that for me?" she indicated the coffee

"If he doesn't wake up within the next minute or two then yes, I suppose so. We could use your help upstairs if you're not busy."

Gwen sighed "I think I'm ready" she took one last look at Jack and moved away "How are Rini and Cory doing?"

"Better than me" he handed her the coffee. He stepped closer to Jack and straightened out the hospital gown he was wearing, intending to finally shut the drawer even though it hadn't been seven days yet. Ianto figured if Jack hadn't awoken by now, he wasn't going to. He bent down, close to Jack's lips but not wanting to kiss him in front of Gwen he whispered "Cara 'ch, Cariad" he stood up straight and…

"Thank-you" Jack said

Ianto looked down at him and Gwen came rushing over after dropping the coffee. Jack's eyes were open and he was smiling "I always like a man who isn't afraid to call me sweetheart"

Ianto helped Jack sit up

"I knew it!" Gwen squealed as she hugged him

Jack patted her back "then why did you break the coffee?" he indicated the fresh coffee stain on the floor "that's coffee abuse Gwen" he grinned and kissed the top of her head. He released her as he stood up and then he pulled Ianto close to him "were you worried?"

"I thought…I'm sorry I thought…" he stammered

Jack kissed him "There are better things to do today. Dying can wait"

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed how I changed things at the end there.**

**Please review.**

**Okay, so I've decided that while Jack will still vanish for a bit we will not be dealing with the Master or the Year that Never Was. The Doctor can deal with the Master some other time. The TARDIS will simply go somewhere else. I hope you will all be happy with it. I don't know when I will get the next chapter up because Finals are very soon and I am going to Texas on the 18****th**** to see my daddy (it's been over three years). I will be there for a week but I will have a notebook with me at all times. If I have time I MIGHT post something before then but no promises. Lookie though, I have previews for you. **

**I will TRY and post something for this fic's one year anniversary which coming up quickly. Can you believe it?**

**Coming up on "Not Unbreakable"…**

"_**Go on then" Ianto picked up the jarred hand "and take this creepy thing with you. Give it back to its owner"**_

_**Jack kissed Ianto quickly "If I'm not back in five minutes, you're in charge"**_

**And…**

"_**And who died and made you leader?" what was he saying? This wasn't like him, though Owen was about to say that himself "when Suzie died, Jack named Owen second-in-command, and only because Tosh didn't want the job. You were aware of that weren't you?"**_

_**Gwen was taken aback "Of course I was…"**_

_**Tosh and Owen were silent though Owen was starting to find this extremely funny."**_

**And…**

_**It had been so long, he hadn't seen her since he was ten but he'd know his big sister anywhere. She must have aged about ten years or so, but it was his sister serving wine to the High King, he was sure of it. Jack moved closer…**_

**And…**

_**Ianto's fists clenched "Do you know where Jack is?"**_

"_**Don't change the subject"**_

"_**Hermes please"**_

_**The god sighed "Fortunately not the same place he was in the show. Unfortunately, I know in my own memory where and when he is, was whatever, yes."**_

**Still interested?**

**TTFN**


	26. Timing

**One year ago today, I posted the first chapter of this fic. Can you believe it?**

**Now, I would like to thank those of you who reviewed last chapter, I really loved your commets. The rest of you, reviews help inspire me. Since I posted it on a Monday, I understand if you were too busy during the week.**

**Anyway, I really hope you like where I'm going with this, it is after all AU. Different things tend to happen.**

* * *

After Jack forgave Owen and they talked about what prompted the team to open the Rift, he sent him, Tosh and Gwen to go buy coffee "Ianto and I need to make dinner plans for tonight."

"Why can't Ianto just make coffee?"

"Ianto does enough around here. Give him a break besides I'm in the mood for Starbuck's"

Once they were gone, Ianto said "I'm sorry"

"For what?" Jack picked up his mobile.

"For not listening to you"

Jack took his hand and kissed it "Don't be sorry for not killing Owen. It's all right"

Ianto couldn't hold it in anymore "I love you Jack, I really do"

Jack looked deep into his eyes "I love you too, Ianto. So much" he pulled Ianto into a tight embrace and kiss. Jack nuzzled Ianto's neck "Thank-you by the way for making my coat smell like you"

Ianto sighed in content "any time"

"Now how about we tell the kids I'm awake and what do you say to ice cream tonight? Frozen yogurt in Cory's case."

Ianto chuckled "He'll eat ice cream in celebration—I think."

TWTWTWTWTWTW

Jack was smiling "I love you too, Rini baby. Yes, sweetie you can have any ice cream you want. Yes, Cory I'm sure they have vanilla. Ya know, you could live a little once in awhile"

Ianto smiled watching Jack talk to Cory and Rini who must have been using Gwill and Anwen's speaker phone. He smiled just watching Jack—he'd given up wondering how this happened so quickly, he and Jack in a relationship with kids—a family. He loved Jack and Jack loved him—it was just so right.

"Okay kids" Jack was saying "we'll see you in a couple of hours. I love you both" his eyes suddenly became misty and he sounded choked up as he spoke next "all right, see you soon"

Ianto went up to him "Something wrong?"

"No, not at all" Jack took Ianto's hand "everything's great, fantastic. That boy of yours, he told me 'I love you too, Jack"

Ianto hugged Jack then, own eyes misty.

It was then they heard it, this metallic grinding noise. Jack's ears perked up "It's him…sometimes he has the worst timing. I'll wait"

"But this may be only chance for a long time"

"I don't care, I just woke up"

Ianto sighed "Go on, get your answers" he picked up the jarred hand "and take this creepy thing with you. Return it to its owner"

Jack looked at him intensely "You sure?"

"Go. Just come back to us"

Jack took the hand "If I'm not back in five minutes, you're in charge. I love you" he kissed Ianto quickly and took off at full speed.

"I love you too!" Ianto called after him "wait, what did you say?"

TWDWTWDWTWDW

Remembering his conversation with Hermes, Jack had his key at the ready. He tore across the Plass, screaming the Doctor's name, carrying a hand in a jar (didn't have time to get a bag) and looking like a complete nutcase. The noise was starting again, the TARDIS was about to dematerialise. Just a few more metres and…

"Oh, what do you want?" the Doctor said as Jack stumbled in, almost dropping the jar. The door slammed behind him.

"To kill you" Jack said between breaths "but I bet you get that a lot. And I think this belongs to you"

The Doctor stared at the hand.

"Doctor, who is he?" asked the beautiful black woman Jack just noticed.

"I'm Captain—" it was then the TARDIS went a bit wacky. "Jack Harkness" he finished when everything came to a stop. He set the jar down and went over to her "and you are?" he held out his hand.

"Stop it" the Doctor said

Jack shot the Doctor a look "I'm just saying hello"

"I don't mind" said the woman "Martha Jones" she shook Jack's hand.

"Nice to meet you Martha Jones. I know a few Joneses back in Cardiff and they're a bit miffed that the Gallaghers beat them out of—"

"Captain" the Doctor interrupted "where'd you get that?" he pointed at the jar.

"Torchwood London, self obsessed bastards never even knew it was gone. Anyway, Doctor…"

"Captain"

"Good to see you" _although you could have had better timing._

"And you, same as ever. Although, have you had work done?"

"You could talk!"

"Oh right, the face. How'd you know it was me?"

Jack remembered his first impression of the Doctor: annoying "gee let me think…"

The Doctor smiled slightly "Martha, Captain Jack's an old friend of mine in case you were wondering"

"I was starting to yeah. So, where are we now?"

The Doctor looked at the controls 'Turkey it looks like, about three thousand years ago"

"What was in Turkey in 1000 B.C?" Jack asked and almost immediately knew the answer. Fun.

"We could find out"

Martha grinned "Definitely. But what's with the hand in a jar?"

The Doctor looked at it again "Oh, that's mine"

"But you've got both your hands"

"Oh yes, hello" he wiggled his fingers at her "long story. Anyway, what are you doing here, Jack?"

"I've been waiting for you, I want some explanations. But first, I have to ask, Battle of Canary Wharf—Rose Tyler, her name was on the list of the dead…"

"No, sorry. She's alive, living on a parallel world with Mickey and her mother"

"She's alive?"

"She's alive" and they hugged "so, what are you doing here?" the Doctor asked again when they parted.

"Oh, I thought we'd eat some bananas and put up some shelves."

The Doctor grinned "We could, but how about exploring first? You ready, Martha?"

"Oh absolutely, no idea what you two are talking about but absolutely" the two ran to the door.

"You coming Jack?" the Doctor asked

It was a very difficult decision; finally he relented "As long as you get me back to Cardiff five minutes from when you got me. I left Ianto in charge and the longer I'm gone, the more likely he is to put cyanide in everyone's coffee."

"Yes, of course, time machine remember" the three stepped outside into a forest where there heard the not too distant sounds of battle. This was going to be fun. Oh yes.

* * *

**Of course this conversation happenend a wee bit differently than in the show.**

**Special mention of those who can correctly guess which war's going on.**

**Now, what d'you think? Please, pretty please review. I would appreciate it. Thank-you.**

**TTFN**

**Wish me inspiration and luck in Texas.**


	27. While the Captain's Away

**Well, I'm back home. And getting here was an ordeal. Don't even get me started. Stupid Frontier Airlines. Maybe I'll tell you all later. BTW, it gets REALLY hot in Texas, especially with that dang Gulf humidity.**

**Anyway, I'm a little nervous about this chapter but it's what the muses insisted on. Before you read I want you all to remember the bit in "Cyberwoman" where Ianto pushed Lisa after she killed the cybernetics expert guy. The way he pushed her made me think that if she wasn't wearing a metal outfit she would have fallen. That made me wonder about his temper which would fit in this story because he's bipolar. So remember that please.**

**Chapter title: While the Captain's Away…**

**Chapter genre: Angst**

**Chapter rating: I'm gonna go with PG-13**

**Chapter summary: Ianto loses his temper and gets drunk and stuff. Contains some Owen POV, Hermes POV and Jessica/Sarah makes an appearance at the end.**

**Chapter warning: Gwen bashing**

**The second bit of this chapter is dedicated to all the Gwen haters out there.**

* * *

A few days after Jack disappeared was Rini's sixth birthday. Ianto planned it anyway, even though Jack wasn't there. They were going with the hope that he would return by then. He didn't though. It took that chocolate piece of heaven to convince Rini to have the party without her father. Ianto also had to tell her that it's what Jack would want. Ianto took about a hundred photos and shot some video as well.

Jack had amazingly gotten Rini her birthday present in January before that Rift thing and had been hiding it since. It was the little pink bike she'd been wanting. It had ribbons and a bell. The gift tag said "Your mommy told me she was going to get this for you, so think of it as from both of us. Love, Daddy" Rini cried and Ianto shed a few tears too.

…

* * *

A week and a half later…

The Rift had been quiet since Jack defeated that Abadon thing and Owen was getting bored. There hadn't even been a routine investigation to go out and investigate. He was even getting sick of his computer game. He got so bored once that he reorganised the medical bay by size, use and alphabetical order. Something interesting needed to happen before Owen turned into Ianto. He shuddered at the thought..

Ianto and Tosh had even found a new place in the Hub for a conference room and they made it all swanky.

Finally, they had a Rift alert—nothing major but still, it was something to do. Before Owen could open his mouth however, Gwen took charge. What the hell?

"Okay, here's what we'll do; first we'll see if there have been any police reports and…"

"That's not how Jack would handle it" Ianto said suddenly

"Yeah, well Jack's not here is he?"

"And who died and made you leader?" what was he saying? This wasn't like him, though Owen was about to say that himself "when Suzie died Jack made Owen second in command, you were aware of that weren't you?"

Gwen was taken aback "Of course I was…"

Tosh and Owen were silent though Owen was starting to find this extremely funny.

"I don't think you did. You think you're Jack's favourite because he shared his secret with you. Well, PC Cooper that was only because he had no choice. You saw him die. He wouldn't have told you otherwise."

Gwen took a breath, clearly trying to keep her temper—she tended to lash out when someone accused her of things that were true "Ianto, now is not the time, we have work to do. Now, go bring 'round the SUV"

"I won't take orders from you. I have seniority"

"Ianto"

"In fact," his voice rose and his eyes were wild "if you check the CCTV of the Hub you'll find that Jack left me in charge but as I have entirely too much to worry about already I didn't say anything. But I will only answer to Owen and Toshiko!"

Gwen looked at Owen and Tosh for help, Tosh seemed too shocked to move and Owen was enjoying this too much. He'd wait and see what Ianto did next…wait, did he say Jack left him in charge? Hey…

Gwen took a step closer to the Welshman "Ianto, sweetheart, what's wrong? Maybe you should calm down a bit, huh?"

"Calm down? I have no bloody reason to calm down!"

Then Owen had a thought, they all knew Ianto was hyperthyroid and Owen knew that the medication sometimes messed with your head, especially if one hasn't been taking it. And Ianto was bipolar—crap. Owen hoped Ianto didn't have his gun.

"Ianto, mate" Owen said gently "you been taking your meds? At least your thyroid meds, you can't live without those."

"I know that" he snapped "I just haven't had the time the past couple of days"

"What about your bipolar meds?"

Ianto smiled "No, not for a while. Feel better this way"

Great, Owen thought and by the looks of it Ianto was in the manic phase. Fan-bloody-tastic. "Okay, I get that but maybe you ought to sit down for a bit."

"Is that an order sir?"

"Just a suggestion, if Jack left you in charge you can do what you want" Owen wasn't a psychologist but he knew that one of the best ways to handle manics was to let them have their way—always within reason though. And apparently Ianto wasn't done chewing out Gwen.

"And another thing, I don't like the way you look at Jack."

"What?" Gwen's eyes widened

Oh, Owen was so putting this on a DVD, this was way better than any soap opera that he never watched of course.

"You stare at him as if he's the one you want and the way you cling to him despite your claims of loving Rhys."

"How dare you?" Gwen's voice came out in a harsh whisper.

"But if you really loved him, you wouldn't have cheated on him, _hwren_"

Then she socked him, right across the jaw. Tosh gasped and Owen cringed. She shouldn't have done that.

Ianto slapped her back with enough force to knock her to the floor. Nobody moved. Ianto looked at Gwen as if shocked at what he'd done and then he ran out of there.

Tosh helped Gwen up "What was that all about?" she looked to Owen

He ignored her, lot of help she was "You all right Gwen?"

"I-I think so"

"Fine, you two get ready—I'll meet you at the car" and he went after Ianto. He caught him in the tourist office about to take off.

"Ianto? You all right?"

Ianto took a breath, hand on the door handle "I don't know what came over me"

"Don't you? You're bipolar and you're in your manic phase"

He didn't look at Owen when he spoke next "Sometimes when I got really angry, I'd hit Lisa, if she was in my way"

Well that was a new development.

"I loved her, I really did, I just couldn't help it. I think she understood that, why she stayed with me for two years. I was going to ask her to marry me but that morning before the battle, I guess she'd had enough. She told me she loved me but she couldn't be with me anymore 'less I went to anger management and stuff. That if I really loved her, I'd get help—I drank a lot too."

Ianto had never shared anything so personal with Owen before "That why you tried to save her, prove your love?"

Ianto nodded

"Does Jack know?"

"No"

"You should tell him, ya know when he gets back"

"I know"

"Have you been drinking lately?"

"Not in front of the children"

Well that was something at least. Ianto still had some sense left.

"Look Ianto, you're right. You have a lot to deal with. Why don't you go home for a bit, get some rest, take your pills. We'll call if we need you"

Ianto finally looked at him "You sure?"

"Yeah, the three of us can handle things well enough"

"What about the coffee?"

"Starbucks"

Ianto gagged but shrugged "To each his own. Thanks Owen"

"Sure, hey you have a sister who's a therapist right?" Maybe you ought to talk to her."

"Yeah, I'll do that."

….

* * *

Not, Ianto added silently as he left the tourist office, he didn't need any of his siblings fussing over him. He wasn't in the mood. Hmm, speaking of drinking…. He didn't have to be home right away. The kids were in school and Anwen would watch them till Ianto got off work—The pub sounded like a good place to relax. He would just have one or two drinks, smoke some, go home and no one would know.

After his fifth beer he figured he should be heading home, start dinner. Considering the way he swayed upon standing, it was a good thing he mused he hadn't yet purchased a new car And of course he left the SUV at the Hub. He called a taxi—"see," he told some random patron "I may have drank more than I intended but I'm still sensible, mind I don't have a car to drive anyway but…" he trailed off and went outside to await the taxi.

He gargled mouthwash and had a couple cups of coffee before going to collect the children. If Anwen noticed anything off about him, she didn't say.

Cory did though.

"Are you okay, Tad?" he asked when they got home.

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"Don't know, you seem a bit off?"

Rini plopped down onto the couch "He's just missing Daddy, aren't you Ianto?"

"Terribly sweetheart, but your daddy will be home as soon as he can. Now, " he clapped his hands together "what would we like for dinner?"

…

Once the kids were in bed, Ianto made himself a Tequila Sunrise followed by an Irish coffee. He did write himself a note to remember to take to take his thyroid pill in the morning. See, still sensible.

The next morning…

"Tad, wake up"

Ianto opened a bleary eye to see Cory holding a glass of water "what?"

"I found your note telling you to take your medicine. I brought it for you."

Ianto groaned and sat up "Bottle's supposed to be child proof, how'd you open it?"

"I read the directions"

"Why do you have to be so smart?" he took the pill and downed the water.

"Jack says I get it from you. Breakfast is almost ready, Rini's toasting waffles."

Ianto practically leapt out of bed "You let your godsister near the toaster? If she's anything like her father…"

"I couldn't stop her"

"You're bigger than she is"

"She's a girl. Anyway, she hasn't burned anything."

Okay, so Rini was more capable of using kitchen appliances than her father was. That was a relief.

…

Since Ianto didn't have to go into work today, he decided to go through some old boxes he had stored in the basement.. In the first box he opened he found a bag of marijuana leaves. So, that's where that went? Does pot expire? _It doesn't matter, Ifan. Just get rid of it. You can't smoke it around the kids anyway. Seriously Ifan Carwyn, throw it away._

He put it in his nightstand drawer.

"What?" he snapped at the picture of Jack he kept on top of it. "It's not like you're here, is it?"

"No, but I am" Hermes leaned against the doorframe

Ianto jumped with a yelp "Don't do that!" he hissed

Hermes smirked "Sorry, but I felt Divine intervention was needed before you did something stupid."

"You didn't seem to have a problem when—"

"You weren't responsible for two young children then"

"I know, I know, I just…" he sighed and sat on his bed "I don't know"

"Sure you do" Hermes sat next to him "You know what'll happen if you keep drinking, especially if you start back with the drugs and lack of medication. You'll get mad, lose your temper. You get violent like your grandfather. You wanna know the odds of you taking out your anger on one of the children? You might wanna invest in a punching bag."

Ianto's fists clenched "Do you know where Jack is?"

"Don't change the subject"

"Hermes please"

The god sighed "Fortunately not the same place he was in the show. Unfortunately, I know in my own memory where and when he is, was whatever, yes."

"Why unfortunately?"

"Because he now knows the one thing I don't even tell my best friends. I'll let him tell you though, it'll make him happy."

"When will he be back?"

"Difficult to say, sorry"

"All right, thanks" he stood up and went downstairs to where Cory and Rini were watching The Muppet Movie. "Can one of you pause it please?"

Cory did "yes, Tad?"

Ianto sat on the couch between "I haven't been feeling very well lately and I need you two to know that it's nothing to do with you. I love you both" he took a breath "if I ever do anything that scares you, I want you to run for Uncle Gwill okay? I need you to promise."

They promised.

….

* * *

Hermes was concerned, okay actually he was more than concerned—he was seriously freaking out. He knew, just knew that despite their conversation that morning Ianto would still go out that night and get sloshed, slobbered and other synonyms for drunk that began with 'S'. After making sure Ianto left the kids with responsible adults, Hermes went out to look for him. Hermes had to find him fast before there was any trouble. Ianto was a mean drunk, at first anyway…After that wore off, he got sappy, weepy and horny—not the best of combinations. Bipolar people just shouldn't drink.

After checking a few places someone like Ianto would likely be—Hermes turned his searching to the unlikely places. And finally in a dive somewhere in the general vicinity of Splott—

"I'll tell you when I've had enough" Ianto was holding the bartender by the shirt collar. Not good. Hermes rushed up to him and eased his hand away.

"Ianto, unless you wanna spend a night in the—"

Ianto put his hands on Hermes shoulders "Hermes mate, I'm glad you're here. You can help" he spoke in Welsh and he smelled like a distillery.

The bartended looked at Hermes imploringly "Best get him outta here"

"Ianto" Hermes said gently and in Welsh "You need to calm down. You don't wanna spend the night in jail, do you?"

"I want another drink. Hurricane this time but give it to me this bastard won't" he shot a death glare at the bartended, cracked his knuckles and great, he was starting to speak like a Welsh Yoda.

Hermes thought fast—Ianto was also gullible when drunk "It's not that he doesn't want to Ianto, it's that he can't" he shot the man a look that said 'play along'.

"What do you mean?" Ianto slurred

"Hurricanes aren't sanctioned by the government in this tavern" he looked at the bartended and read his name tag "isn't that right, Hugh?"

"Oh yeah, absolutely"

"There see?" Hermes linked his arm through Ianto's "We'll get your Hurricane somewhere else."

Ianto blinked "All right then" and Hermes pulled him out of there.

It was raining when they stepped outside—it seemed to sober Ianto up a bit—at first.

"Sorry about that" he still spoke in Welsh

"No trouble"

"Because you showed up when you did. Thanks"

"Yeah well, I look after you, it's what I do."

"Why though? Why were you assigned to look after me?"

Hermes released his hold on Ianto and hailed a taxi "How about that Hurricane? I could use one myself."

"Hermes"

A taxi pulled up and Hermes opened the back door "It doesn't matter" he began to ease Ianto inside.

Ianto broke away "Yes it does. Don't say it doesn't matter. Jack talks like that."

Hermes sighed "Get in the car, Ifan"

"No, I get enough of this elusiveness from Jack, I don't need it from you too" he took off down the street.

Hermes swore in Greek and threw some money at the driver "For your trouble" _This is great_, he thought as he went after Ianto, _I'm the god of thieves and I just paid for a cab I didn't even use. Great Mother, I'm getting old._

He knew it would someday come to this though, Ianto asking why. It was not a subject Hermes wanted to discuss with anyone. Ever. Some things you just didn't tell your best friend.

Damn, even while drunk—the incorrigible Celt was a fast runner. Hermes stopped in his tracks "Wait, what am I doing? Spending too much time around mortals that's what" He used his powers to catch up with Ianto. Hermes wasn't the god of speed for nothing.

He tackled Ianto the ground (he was also quite good at wrestling. 'Course so was Ianto, having six older brother and everything) "Ifan Carwyn Jones!"

Ianto ceased moving, the sound of one's full Given Name always did that.

Hermes pulled him to his feet "If you ever compare me to Harkness again, I'll—I'll…"

"You'll what?" Ianto said miserably

"You won't like it, that's what. And in case you've forgotten Jack's been very honest with you lately" he put his hands on Ianto's shoulders "Why are you doing this? Don't you remember that talk we had this morning?"

Ianto swiped at Hermes's hands "Why do you care? Why are you even my friend? You didn't have to be my friend to watch over me. Why'd they assign you—"

"They didn't assign me!" the words were out of his mouth before he thought of them "No one assigned me. I chose to look after you" but now that it was said he may as well continue.

Ianto blinked "What? Why?"

Hermes took a breath, "I knew you in your first life, we were friends. Since then I've looked in on you from time to time. I didn't always approach you."

Ianto seemed to accept this answer because he nodded. The movement though caused him to sway. Hermes caught him

"Let's get you home"

Ianto held on to Hermes's waist, "Why didn't you tell me that from the start? That first night you told me who you really were?"

Hermes shrugged and tried to ignore the feelings stirring inside him "I'm a notorious liar. I can't help it."

"Have you lied to me about anything else?"

"If I have it was only to protect you"

"Why?" Ianto looked into his eyes

_Great Heavens, I hate that word_ "Because I—I'm your friend Ianto, I care about you."

Ianto swallowed "I'd like to tell you something"

"Oh?" Hermes ignored the present location of one of Ianto's hands and began to guide him back down the street.

"I hated you when you disappeared that time—you know before I saw you at TW1"

"I can understand. I didn't exactly tell you I was leaving"

"I hated you because I loved you"

Hermes stopped dead "Say what?"

"I'm sorry. I know you're not into that, that's why I never said anything."

"Then why tell me now?" Hermes was looking everywhere but at Ianto.

"Because I have Jack. Jack's my soulmate; I feel it in every fibre of me. But I need you to know—I even loved you while I was with Lisa. I was miserable"

Hermes's eyes stung fiercely "Ianto—"

"And if I hadn't met Jack and if you felt the same, you'd be the one."

Hermes felt the whole 'I'm immortal and you're not' speech wouldn't be appropriate "Ianto, you can love someone who's not your soulmate, even while you love your soulmate. Does that make sense? Especially if you swing more than one way."

"Yes" Ianto's other hand trailed up Hermes's arm "Can I at least ask to see what it's like to kiss you?"

"Ianto," fight it, Hermes "I—" and Ianto's lips were on his.

For once in a very long time Hermes couldn't think but when Ianto's hand moved to his belt, he came to his senses and pulled away "No, no we can't"

"Why?" Ianto moved in closer

"One, we're in the middle of flippin' Splott, two, your breath stinks and three and most importantly I won't come between you and Jack" wait a minute, probably not the wisest wording.

"Oh but he won't mind" Ianto slid a hand up Hermes's arm again "in fact, I'm sure he would enjoy it"

"No, Ianto that's not…Look, Jack told you that while he's with you he won't be with anyone else. You have to do the same, it's only fair."

"But—"

_Hypnos, Morpheus, don't bother with this one tonight_. Hermes made his staff appear "I'm sorry, Ianto" he waved it over the Welshman "Sleep" he caught Ianto as he fell. Then he whispered in his ear "forget the last hour". He kissed Ianto's forehead "I love you"

He took Ianto to Gwill's house, who was just heading out to look for him.

"Hermes Danann isn't it?" Gwill asked as he took Ianto from him "Ianto's friend?"

"Yeah, found him in Splott. Best keep an on him. Oh and do me a favour, don't tell him it was me who brought him home" with that Hermes was gone allowing Ianto's brother to see the magick.

…

* * *

Thea was the name she had in her first life, so Thea was what Hermes called her (when he wasn't calling her Sweetness that is). "Well, lookie what the cat dragged in" she said when Hermes crawled into bed next to her "Is he all right?"

"For the moment"

"Jack back yet?"

"If he was, would I have had to go after Ianto myself?"

Oh, someone was cranky "I see. How's my baby?"

"She's doing all right. Ianto has enough sense left to leave the kids with responsible adults when he drinks. I don't know how long it'll last though" Hermes turned over on his side to face her "It'll be better when Jack gets back"

"They were made for each other weren't they? Compliment each other nicely. Although, you and Ianto would be great together too."

"What now?" Hermes blinked and there was red in his cheeks. He was awfully cute when he blushed.

"You love him don't you?"

"I love you, Thea"

"I know that. But you also love him. I've seen how you are with him and I may have peeked in on you tonight"

Hermes sighed and laid flat "Is it that obvious?"

"Yep. I'm surprised Jackie boy hasn't called you on it."

Hermes sighed again "_Jackie boy_ is an idiot. Ianto and I were together in his first life—before you and Jack came along. Ianto was my first love. Maybe I do lie when I tell people that I'm the only male Olympian who isn't bisexual—I don't know why I say that" he sighed yet again "Ianto's the only man I'll ever love. That's why I've checked on him every life he'd had. I've checked on you too."

She sat up and looked down at him "How old were you when you met?"

"Young, only sixteen. Heh, he was actually older than me. He was twenty. He lived to be thirty-five, pretty amazing for a mortal back then."

"You should tell him"

"Why?"

"He deserves to know"

"I don't think now's a good time"

"When Jack gets back then. Where is he anyway?"

Hermes turned over on his stomach "Middle of the Trojan War"

* * *

**Special congratulations and mention of CelticHeiressFiona for correctly guessing the war Jack, the Doctor and Martha ended up in. And second place goes to for "random turkish war". I just love that answer and I think I'll use it somewhere in the story.**

_**Coming up…**_

"_**Jack, Martha, you have the pleasure of meeting Menelaus, King of Sparta"**_

_**Jack grinned "I'll say"**_

**BTW, according to my sources 'hwren' is Welsh for 'whore'.**

**Well, I hope you liked this chapter. Please tell me what you think. Reviews make the world go 'round.**

**TTFN**


	28. Nightmare

**READ THE FOLLOWING NOTE PLEASE:**

**Okay gang, this is ****not ****the next chapter, this actually takes place sometime after Jack's return but due to recent events I HAD to write this. Jack, the Doctor and Martha's adventures during the Trojan War will commence as soon as I get it typed up which should be in another day or two.**

**Disclaimer: Everyone, we must all fart in RTD's general direction and blow raspberries at him. Savvy?**

**And the song belongs to Keith Urban**

* * *

Jack woke with a gasp and fresh tears on his cheeks. He took several deep breaths as he looked around—it was all a dream, a horrible dream.

"Jack," Ianto's hand was over his "are you all right?"

Jack broke down and wrapped his arms around Ianto "I had the worst dream" he clung to Ianto tightly, not wanting to let go, afraid he'd disappear.

Ianto seemed the get the message, he returned the embrace and rubbed soothing circles on Jack's back "It's okay, Cariad, I'm here, I'm here. It was just a bad dream, nothing to be afraid of."

"But it was so real" Jack sobbed onto his shoulder "the only good thing about it was that Cory and Rini weren't there."

"Well then, there you are. Whatever it was, perhaps it's just what happens on that ridiculous TV show in that other reality."

Jack sniffed and tried to get a handle on his sobbing "I guess. Oh, Ianto it was horrible, even blowing me to pieces won't kill me and I lost you and I had to—"

"Shhh, don't think about it anymore. I'm right here, it's okay. Just relax, Cariad."

"I love you so much, Ianto"

"I love you too, Jack" Ianto kept whispering soothing words and then he started to sing

_I'm gonna be here for you baby  
And I'll be a man of my own word  
Speak the language in a voice that you have never heard  
I wanna sleep with you forever  
And I wanna die in your arms  
In a cabin by a meadow where the wild bees swarm_

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you  
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us

I wanna honor your mother  
And I wanna learn from your paw  
I wanna steal your attention like a bad outlaw  
And I wanna stand out in a crowd for you  
A man among men  
I wanna make your world better than it's ever been

We'll follow the rainbow  
Wherever the four winds blow  
And there'll be a new day  
Comin' your way  
I'm gonna be here for you from now on  
This you know somehow  
You've been stretched to the limits but it's alright now

And I'm gonna make you a promise  
If there's life after this  
I'm gonna be there to meet you with a warm, wet kiss  
Mmm hummm

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you  
And I'll earn your trust makin' memories of us  
Ohhh  
And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you  
And I'll win your trust makin memories of us  
Mmmmm  
Ohhhhhhhh Oh Baby Mmmmmmm  


Jack had stopped crying to listen to the song though parts of it made him want to cry harder. Especially the part about Ianto dying in his arms—he felt the tears come again. Ianto sat him up properly, kissed his forehead and wiped away his tears.

"I love you, Jack Harkness and even if I die tomorrow, you will never lose me" he put a hand over Jack's heart "Because I will always be in here. I don't know what your nightmare was about and I don't think I care to know but I see how it's affected you so it must have been bad."

"I don't think I can go back to sleep"

Ianto gently pulled Jack down with him, Jack's head resting on his chest "Just hold on to me, Cariad and I will still be here when you wake up." After some more soothing words, those beautiful Welsh vowels lulled Jack back to sleep. Peacefully this time.

**

* * *

You know the Lady likes reviews. And one more thing, you must all read How CoE Really Ended by my very best friend lady-demacabre. It is very good. Here is the summary:Day 3: UNIT's had enough of being left out and calls Torchwood.  
Together they find out that the 456 have been here before... a lot. Learn who  
the 456 really are and what really happened. AU obviously Series 3**


	29. Grecian Kings

**Okay gang, back to Jack while he's hanging out with the Doctor and Martha. If you'll recall they just stepped out of the TARDIS and heard the sounds of a battle.\**

**Chapter Title: Grecian Kings**

**Chapter rating: err...M for nakedess**

**Chapter genre: mythology**

**Chapter summary: Jack, the Doctor and Martha meet Menelaus who's high priestess reminds Jack a LOT of someone he and Hermes have in common. Jack discovers something very interesting about Hermes. and other stuff...**

**A/N: Please note that I'm not the best at writing Doctor 10 so if he seems a little off, I'm sorry but I'll see about fixing him later. I told a few of you I'd have this up by today. When I do something like that I want to keep my promise.**

**Disclaimer: As Homer (the Greek not the Simpson) has been dead well over 50 years I think I can do what I like with the characters of the Illiad.**

* * *

In fact the battle sounded close enough so that the three of them were in danger of stray arrows or something.

"Doctor," said Martha "what's going on?"

The Doctor looked curiously in the direction of the battle sounds "I'm guessing a war"

Jack leaned against a tree "Let's think, about 1000BC, somewhere in Turkey, I'm thinking it's the Trojan War. Anyone want to dispute me?"

"The Trojan War? Really, Doctor? Did that really happen?" asked Martha

"Oh yes" the Doctor nodded "Least I think so. It's one of those rare thing Time Lords don't know a whole lot about. We've never been able to view it first hand; the dark ages of Greece have always been difficult to access actually. We shouldn't even be here."

"So are you saying that it's like something doesn't want Time Lords here?" Jack said knowing from Hermes that the Earth gods weren't overly fond of the Time Lords.

_"I don't care how experienced they are" Hermes had said "No one should travel in time, but the damage has been done" Earth gods weren't overly fond of other aliens either for that matter. Hermes made an exception for Jack because he was human "well mostly anyway"._

The Doctor looked at Jack with a strange look "Guess I am. We should go back inside but," he looked at Martha who grinned "I think we can explore a bit."

Jack couldn't help but point out the obvious "There's a war going on and we're awfully close to the battle. Bit dangerous, isn't it? I'm not worried about you or me Doctor but how's Martha at dodging arrows?"

"Right" the Doctor drug out the word "we can go deeper into the woods. Plus, nearly sunset, fighting might stop."

…TWDWTWDWTWDWTWDWTWDW…

They were about a mile into the woods before they heard what sounded like horn blasts.

"Ceasefire" Jack said

"Probably" the Doctor looked back in the direction they had come

"Time to collect the bodies and treat the wounded" Jack mused

"Did it really last ten years?" asked Martha

While the Doctor said "I don't really know" Jack said "Yes"

They both looked at him and he figured that telling them that he had inside information wouldn't be good at this time so he shrugged and said "I would imagine"

The Doctor arched an eyebrow "Something you're not telling us, Captain?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you"

The Doctor simply shrugged and let the subject drop—for the moment anyway.

An hour later…

The trio found themselves surrounded by soldiers—Spartan if Jack remembered his ancient warfare lesson from Ares correctly.

"Hello," Jack grinned at them "Captain Jack Harkness"

"Stop it" said the Doctor

"I'm just saying hello, besides they're Spartans, I don't think they mind."

"How do you know they're Spartans?"

"I know something of Ancient Greek military, all right?" _I learned from the god of war himself._

"Silence" one of the soldiers pointed his spear at Jack and not in a good way. "Who are you to come so close to the Spartan camp?"

The Doctor gave him a smile "Yes, hello, Sir Doctor of TARDIS," he pulled out his psychic paper and showed it to the lead soldier "and these are my companions."

The soldier looked at the paper—what he saw Jack couldn't begin to guess "Mercenaries, we will take you to the king" he looked at Martha "I was not aware the Celtic lands had African slaves."

"Slaves!" Martha was indignant

"She's not a slave" Jack stepped in "she's a free woman—we picked her up on the way."

"Yes," said the Doctor "Martha knows something of healing"

The Spartans seemed to accept this as the leader nodded "Come, the king will wish to meet you."

…

Soon they came to the Spartan camp which was illuminated by torchlight and campfires. It was surprisingly simple—there was no gold plating, no extravagance at all. It was very well, military. Emblems of Athena and oddly, Ares hung all over the place. Jack found that interesting because he knew Ares had been on Troy's side—granted that was only because Aphrodite was on Troy's side. What some men wouldn't do for love…

The soldiers, clearly guards led them to the largest tent, which bore a painted crane on the flap. Interesting Jack thought, the crane was the favourite bird of Hermes. Hermes, as messenger was forbidden by Zeus to take sides in the war.

The lead guard motioned the Doctor forward "You will see the King first"

"I will see the king first, apparently" The Doctor followed him into the tent and Jack and Martha waited outside, the Spartan soldiers and slaves staring at them curiously.

"So," Jack struck up conversation with Martha "how long have you been travelling with the Doctor?"

"Months it seems, I don't know exactly"

"Gets a little crazy, huh?"

"Yeah but it's exciting. I've seen things I've never dreamed before"

"Tell me about it"

They chatted about the Doctor for a few minutes, about his attributes and flaws. Before Jack could tell Martha about how he was left on the space station the Doctor emerged from the tent with a very handsome man.

"Jack, Martha" the Doctor said "You have the pleasure of meeting Menelaus, King of Sparta."

Jack grinned "I'll say"

"Younger than I thought" Martha whispered

Menelaus smiled at them "Nice to meet you. Please join me for supper" he indicated a gathering of soldiers around a large camp fire. The smell of cooking meat suddenly made Jack hungry.

Jack grinned again "I do like a commander who eats with his troops. Great morale booster."

"Yes, I agree. If only my brother would realise that, then perhaps he would not have quite as many casualties." He looked Jack up and down appreciatively and then looked into his eyes "You've seen war before, too many times for a man your age"

You have no idea, Jack thought.

Menelaus turned to Martha "And you miss, surely must be an African goddess, the great Oshun perhaps?"

Martha blushed "No, just Martha but thank you"

Menelaus led them to the campfire and Jack whispered to him "You are good"

Menelaus grinned "As king of Sparta I have to be."

….TWDWTWDWTWDW

After dinner Menelaus told them "You may have a room in my tent if you wish"

"Thank-you, your Majesty we appreciate that"

Menelaus smiled "I am a simple man Doctor; please do not call me that. Menelaus will do fine. The majority of my soldiers still need to work on this. I never expected to be king of anything, I was always Prince Agamemnon's younger brother" he stood "now I think it's time for bed. Martha, if you like my priestess will show where you may ready for bed away from my men's curious eyes."

"Sure thanks" Martha smiled

Menelaus told a soldier "Go and fetch Lady Thea"

Moments later a young woman came forward, she had an earthly beauty about her and curves of a Greek goddess. She seemed extremely familiar to Jack, like he should know her.

"You sent for me Menelaus?"

"I did my lady, this is Martha, an honoured guest. Will you please show her where she can get ready for bed away from the men?"

Lady Thea looked at Martha and the other two carefully, her eyes briefly resting on Jack before answering "Since you asked nice. Pleasure to meet you Martha. Come on"

Martha stood "And you" as they walked away Martha said "I see you have no problem calling him by his name"

"I'm high priestess and we're sharing the Lord Hermes"

Jack nearly choked on his last sip of wine.

Menelaus patted his back "Are you all right, Captain?"

"Sure, yeah, I'm fine"

"If you're sure. Gentlemen, if you will please follow me"

The Doctor put a hand on Jack's shoulder " I think you'll fit right in here, Jack"

They followed Menelaus in silence till Jack said "I would have been at Canary Wharf but my main concern was Cardiff."

"What were you doing in Cardiff anyway?"

"I told you, waiting for you, for over a century. You left me and I wanna know why."

The Doctor ran a hand through his hair "Oh don't start that right now, Jack"

"But you will explain it to me?"

"Yes, yes but not right now"

Menelaus turned to face them just before entering his tent "Did you two have a bad break up or something?"

Even in the dim lighting Jack could see that the Doctor turned several shades of red and Jack burst out laughing.

TWDWTWDWTWDWTWDW

Sleeping that night proved to be difficult as Jack could not get his mind off Ianto, their kids and the team. What if the Doctor didn't get him home within the requested time limit? What if he was gone for hours, days, weeks or worse? What would happen?

There were also constant explosions coming from Agamemnon's camp. Menelaus had warned them all before bed, apparently, the Grecian high king had a scientist in his employ, devising new ways to destroy the Trojans faster. It was the fifth year of the war and Agamemnon was getting restless and Menelaus was about ready to give up and let Helen stay with the "bastard rapist" as he called Paris.

It must have been after midnight when Jack woke up for the sixth time. This time he felt that scientist to be very rude as he was having a very pleasant dream about Ianto. He sat up and stretched. The Doctor it seemed was sleeping peacefully as if he were used to annoying science experiments and Martha was tossing and turning as if the explosions were penetrating her dreams.

Jack went out to have a pee and maybe a walk. It was a bit chilly in the tunic Menelaus requested he wear so after his pee he went back in for his coat. He heard the sounds of sex coming from Menelaus' quarters. Intrigued, Jack tip toes closer—it sounded like the Spartan king was having some fun with another man. Jack peeked in, the candlelight allowed him to see the other man's features. Curly hair, washboard abs and glowing golden eyes—no way. Then the name Menelaus moaned confirmed it "Hermes"

Jack gasped without realising it—Hermes claimed he didn't swing that way. Perhaps he claimed it a bit too much? And he did seem to care about Ianto an awfully lot…Before he could finish his train of thought he was pulled roughly into the room by Hermes, a very naked and obviously irritated Hermes. This was not good.

Hermes lifted him up by the neck with one hand. Surprisingly, Jack didn't feel choked, just uncomfortable and maybe a little nervous—good thing he already peed.

"Who are you?"

Menelaus sat up, he was also very naked—why the hell was Jack suddenly embarrassed? "Hermes, my Lord, this is Captain Jack Harkness, he hails from the Celtic lands."

Hermes ignored him and stared into Jack's eyes "You do not belong here"

Jack smiled nervously—not a good look for him "You're right, I don't, I'm sorry. I was just curious"

"Curiosity killed the cat, Captain. You're not of this world or this time and neither," he set Jack down and quicker than lightning pulled the Doctor into the room "are you, Time Lord. You should know the rules"

"And what rules would those be?" the Doctor calmly said

"It should be impossible for you to even be here. Time Lords cannot get through barriers put up by the Earth gods."

"Really? That's interesting. Could you put me down please?"

Hermes did so, slowly as if he were afraid one wrong move would cause the Doctor to explode "the only thing that could have let your ship through is a god" he sounded more like the Hermes Jack knew now, more curious than irritated.

"Well, I honestly don't know how we got here…"

In a flash Hermes was dressed and he put a hand on the Doctor's shoulder "Let's talk"

"All right"

They left the room, leaving Jack and Menelaus alone.

Menelaus stood "Are you really from another world?"

Jack sighed "Guess I am"

"That's amazing" he came closer

"I'm sorry I interrupted"

"Quite all right, Lady Thea does it all the time. She likes to watch"

Jack smiled "My first wife was like that"

Menelaus trailed a finger across Jack's cheek "Would you like to join me? Hermes won't mind"

_Ha, I happen to know he gets extremely possessive. _In another time though Menelaus wouldn't have had to ask, he was gorgeous and well hung but…

"I'm sorry Menelaus, I have someone back home and I wanna be faithful to him."

Menelaus stepped back "I understand, I have not taken another woman to my bed while I hold out hope that my Helen is under a spell. But I have to take my frustrations out somehow. I admire you Jack, honour like yours is hard to come by. Bravery too, not many would refuse a king. Good night then, Jack."

"KaliNIhta" Jack said good night in modern Greek without thinking.

Menelaus looked at him oddly "Your accent is very strange.

TWDWTWDWTWDW

It was an hour before the Doctor returned from his conversation with Hermes. Jack stood just outside their quarters, waiting for him.

"What you talk about?"

"Oh this and that"

"Do you believe he's a god?"

The Doctor took a breath "Well, godlike certainly, definitely an Earthling though. It's fascinating, I've always heard stories about a race of Earthlings with such abilities but I never really believed them."

"And now do you?"

"Oh yes. Do you?"

Time to come clean, Jack "I know Hermes in the future."

"Really?"

"Yeah and the jerk won't tell me why I can't die, says you have to do it. So, Doctor?"

The Doctor sighed "Oh, can't it wait till morning?" he brushed past him into the room.

TWDWTWDWTWDW

The next morning at breakfast, despite battle being already underway, the trio had the honour of meeting the King of Ithaca, Odysseus. He was purportedly the great grandson of Hermes. His smile told Jack that yeah, he probably was.

Menelaus and Odysseus shook hands and embraced warmly.

"How are you this morning, Menelaus?" Odysseus asked.

"I've been better. I am sick of this war but Agamemnon will not listen to reason."

"I know what you mean. I miss Penelope terribly and my Telemachus is growing up without me."

"As is my Hermione."

"Say our children are similar in age…"

"No, forget it. I will not betroth my daughter without consulting her mother."

"I doubt Helen deserves consultation"

"Until I learn otherwise, Helen did not leave Sparta of her own volition!" Menelaus snapped

Odysseus quickly changed subjects, a skill he must have gotten from Hermes "Are these your new mercenaries?"

"Yes" Menelaus introduced them "How did you know about them?"

"Word travels fast my friend; I wouldn't be surprised if Priam has heard about them by now. Anyway, Agamemnon told me to tell you as long as I was coming over here that he would like to meet them."

Menelaus sighed heavily and rolled his eyes "I suppose having you tell my brother to eat dung would be out of the question?"

TWDWTWDWTWDW

Menelaus took them to his brother's camp right away where the High King of Greece was still eating breakfast, attended to by several servants. The trio stood outside the circle of guards while Menelaus went ahead to announce. But then Jack saw her.

It had been so long, he hadn't seen her since he was ten but he'd know his big sister anywhere. She must have aged about ten years or so but it was his sister serving wine to the High King, he was sure of it.

Jack moved closer, "Nina!" he called using her nickname. Her name was Serena but when Jack was little he couldn't pronounce it right calling her Sir Nina, his mother claimed. It was shortened to Nina and it stuck.

She turned quickly almost spilling the wine, her eyes widened when she saw him but she didn't seem to recognise. Of course she wouldn't Jack thought, he was just a kid when she last saw him.

Not caring what those around were thinking and forgetting about the Doctor and Martha, jack got as close as he could before Agamemnon's guards blocked his way "It's me" he said "Frankie" his old nickname tasted like chalk in his mouth but it came out easily enough "Your brother"

"Frankie?" recognition dawned in her brown eyes "Oh my god" it was then she spilled the wine—all over Agamemnon.

"Insolent!" he grabbed her wrist and Menelaus cringed.

"I'm sorry your majesty" Nina stammered "I—"

"I have no use for a slave like you" he stood up and pulled out his sword.

"No!" Jack pushed past the guards "Don't hurt her, it's my fault."

Agamemnon looked at him "what is this?"

Jack couldn't help a grin, Agamemnon was rather dashing in an evil bastard sort of way "Captain Jack Harkness and I distracted her. If you wanna kill someone kill me but don't kill her."

Agamemnon's brows furrowed, clearly confused by Jack's behaviour "You would give your life for an insolent slave?"

"yes"

Agamemnon shrugged "It is of no matter to me"

"No!" Nina stood in front of Jack "You can't hurt him"

Jack pushed her away "Serena, chill I got this' he kissed her cheek "no worries, I promise" and he leaned in and whispered "my friend's will explain" then he stepped closer to Agamemnon.

Jack really hated swords sometimes.

* * *

**The daughter of Menelaus and Helen was called Hermione who I'm fairly certain was born before the War because it says in the Odyssey in chapter IV, "The gods gave Helen no more issue after she in the early time had borne her lovely child, Hermione, who had the grace of Golden Aphrodite" I take that to mean that the kid was born before the war.**

**Oshun is a Yoruba goddess, the Yoruba are an African people out of Nigeria. She's a love goddess. And oddly the picture of her in the book I have kind of looks like Martha**

**Question: For the next chapter do we want to go back to Ianto in the present or do some more with Jack first? Let me know.**

**Please review, you know it makes me happy and we could all use a little happiness these days.**


	30. Brothers and Sisters

**CoE arrived yesterday. I just finished watching. Despite knowing in advance what was going to happen, I still sobbed like I was right there with Jack and Ianto. And then what they made Jack do! Jack's not allowed to be happy is he? He deserves to be happy! But let's not talk about it anymore, that's why fanfiction was invented wasn't it? Anyway, it did give me an idea for later on in this fic that I think you all will like. So stay tuned for that.**

**Anyway…**

**I hope you like this chapter and the new characters that will be introduced. To please everyone, it goes back and forth between Ianto and Jack. I will include detailed character descriptions in the next chapter…probably. **

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* * *

  
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Brothers and Sisters

Part One

Ianto woke up with a headache at least the size of the Sahara and he felt extremely queasy. He took in his surroundings—he was in the recliner in Gwill's den. How the bloody hell had he gotten there? Wasn't he in Splott or something? He remembered wanting a Hurricane. He saw that there was a bucket on the floor, good because he needed to use it. As he vomited just about everything he'd eaten and drunk the past week, he felt strong hands on his shoulders, keeping him steady.

"Oh baby brother, what were you _thinking_?"

After Ianto had thrown up everything he had to throw up, washed his face and brushed his teeth (Gwill had gone over to his house and gotten a few of his things), he changed his clothes and by Gwill's orders waited in the den. Ianto sat in an extremely uncomfortable chair that reminded him of the one they always had to sit in whenever they were in trouble with their father. In fact, it very well could have been the same one. Ianto had yet to see his son and goddaughter this morning. Just as well, he mused he was in a horrible state and he didn't want them to see him like this.

Gwill finally came in with a cup of coffee—it did not smell good. "Here, drink this."

Ianto didn't want to drink it but Gwill's tone told him there was to be no argument. He tentatively took a sip "What is this, surplus from World War II? It's disgusting." It was watery and there was sludge at the bottom.

"It's what we drink at the station."

Ianto made a face "Even worse, I'd rather have instant than this crap" he set the cup on Gwill's desk- and anyone who knew Ianto, knew that that was saying a lot because Ianto hated instant coffee with a firey passion.

"At least you're awake." Then Gwill started to pace "What exactly were you thinking getting sloshed like that?"

Ianto rubbed his temples and groaned "Do you have to yell? My head's killing me."

"Good. You deserve it. I heard what happened at work the other day. Ifan, I know Gwen can be annoying but she's still a woman. You don't hit women! Remember what Tad taught us?"

Ianto looked up at him "How'd you hear about that? Gwen didn't tell Rhys did she?"

"Like she would. She doesn't tell Rhys anything. Dr. Harper told me."

"He what?" Ianto stood up quickly, wobbling a little "What about doctor-patient confidentiality?"

"He's worried about you. It's good that he told me, that's why I went looking for you last night" Gwill's voice and expression softened and he stopped pacing "You need help baby brother. You need to talk to Edythe and I want you to see Geraint as well."

Ianto crossed his arms "I don't need help and I don't need any of you fussing over me" Ianto felt sick, why was he behaving this way?

Gwill put his hands on Ianto's shoulders "Yes you do. You have two little children who need you, remember them? You have a son and a goddaughter who may as well be your own because of your relationship with her father."

Ianto sank back into the chair. He put his hands on his face "I know. I just—I don't know what's wrong with me."

"If you don't know then you need help."

Ianto looked out the window at the back garden where Cory and Rini were playing with his nieces and nephew "Okay, you're right, I need help. I _want_ help."

* * *

TWDWTWDWTWDWTWDWTWDW

Jack woke up in a pile of dead bodies "Oh" he groaned "Treblinka all over again, damn annoying."

"I bet" the Doctor stood above him, holding out his hand.

Jack took it and stood up "How is she?"

"Rather unbelieving that you can't die, Martha's having trouble too."

"Yeah well" Jack dusted himself off "Can you blame them? How'd she get here, did she tell you?"

"Only that she has no idea, won't say more than that. I think she knows but she doesn't want to tell me."

"Well, I'll talk to her."

There was another explosion and the Doctor said "I'm interested in this scientist Agamemnon has, keeps causing those explosions, driving Menelaus mad to no end. Well, come on, we have to sneak back to the Spartan camp. Mustn't let Agamemnon see you."

"What about my sister?"

"Menelaus traded five of his best slaves for her. I think he likes you—can't imagine why."

"Must be my unbelievable good looks," Jack grinned.

"Oh yes. That must be it."

"Sarcasm does not become you Doctor. So, you wanna tell me why I can't die now? And why you left me?"

The Doctor sighed "All right, it was Rose…"

……

* * *

They were back in the Spartan camp as the Doctor finished the story.

"And there's really nothing you can do?" Jack asked.

"I'm sorry, Jack, I am so sorry."

"And you knew?"

"Time Lords always know."

"Did you love Rose, Doctor?" Jack hadn't even realised he'd said it till it was said. Where had that question come from?

The Doctor's eyes went wide but then he said "Oh look, we're back in the Spartan camp. Come on, your sister will want to see you."

Jack smiled softly "I'll take that as a yes."

They went back to Menelaus' tent where Serena immediately rushed into his arms.

"Oh Frankie, you really are alive."

He held her close, it had been so long since he'd seen his big sister "Yeah, it's a long story."

"I don't care just as long as you're alive" She looked up at him "you're all grown up. When did that happen? Has it been that long?"

"Yeah, Nina, it has" flashes of Gray and their father ran through his mind "we thought you were dead. When Auntie Tara contacted us and told us you were missing—"

She stepped back and wiped a tear from his cheek—Jack hadn't even realised he was crying "I guess we have a lot to talk about" her own eyes were over bright but Nina had always been good at holding back tears.

Jack kissed her forehead "A lot."

Despite the six year age difference between them they had been close, it was just them for six years till Grey came along. Serena had gone to Earth to visit their aunt when she was sixteen—she vanished two months later. Her presence here made Jack think that maybe it was the Rift—it would explain why she told the Doctor she had no idea how she got here. But Jack had a suspicion she knew more than she said especially if she was anything like him.

"First, I wanna tell you" he found his coat and dug in the inside pocket. He brought out his billfold "you have a niece."

"I have a niece?"

"Yeah, also long story but" he handed her a picture of Rini "I named her after you, we call her Rini though."

Serena took the photo and squealed with delight "Oh, she's adorable! And you named her Serena? Oh Frankie" she hugged him again.

….

* * *

The Doctor and Martha had slipped out of the tent to give Jack and his sister privacy.

"Wow" breathed Martha "weird coincidence his sister being here as well."

"Yeah, I stopped believing in those awhile ago" the Doctor ran a hand through his hair, Hermes' words flashed through his head _the only thing that could have let your ship through is a god._ And later Jack saying that he knew Hermes in the future. This could well be a case of wibbly wobbly timey wimey.

"So, why can't Jack die, Doctor?"

"Oh I'll explain it later. Right now, I'd like to meet this scientist of Agamemnon's. Come on" he started off in the direction of the High King's camp, Martha close behind.

"Okay" she said. Just as well, she didn't press further, Martha didn't really like hearing about Rose. The Doctor wasn't as oblivious as he sometimes led people to believe.

They found the scientist's tent easily enough—it was the one that was scorched with experiments. The Doctor boldly went up to it and knocked, well as you can't really knock on a tent flap he just went in.

"Who are you?" Agamemnon's scientist was a woman.

"What?" the Doctor squeaked, he didn't picture Agamemnon to have a woman in any position other than slave.

"That's what I'd like to know. Who are you and what do you want?" she was also young, no more than twenty-eight.

"WHAT?" he said again.

"Is that all you can say?" and she looked A LOT like the Doctor's baby sister.

"WHAT?"

The woman crossed her arms "if you say that one more time…"

Martha touched his arm lightly "Doctor, what is it?"

After a quick glance around the tent, the Doctor turned around grabbed Martha's arm and nearly ran out of there without another word to the scientist.

* * *

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

Ianto knocked on Edythe's front door tentatively, her husband Jean-Paul answered

"Well, Ianto" he smiled Cajun twang causing Ianto to smile as well "haven't seen you since December. Well, come in mon ami, Edie's waiting for ya" Every time Ianto saw his brother-in-law he couldn't help but think that his eldest sister had good taste. Though Ianto had to admit sometimes he had trouble understanding what the Cajun was saying.

Ianto entered the house "It's good to see you, Jean-Paul."

"And you" Jean-Paul shut the door "Claudette and Ceinwen are at a friend's, hang around when you're done talking to Edie, the girls will be happy to see you. Ya are their favourite uncle."

Ianto smiled "I'm everyone's favourite uncle, it's because I let them walk all over me."

Claudette and Ceinwen were identical twins and Ianto was proud to say he was the only of their uncles who could always tell them apart even when they were dressed identically. It was a skill.

"Edie's in her study, it's off the kitchen. You wanna coffee?"

"Oh god yes, you at least make decent coffee" he followed Jean-Paul into the kitchen "you and Christopher resolve that argument you were having at Yule? About who's team was better?"

Jean-Paul got down a mug, "Stalemate, that Georgian with a Yankee attitude don't know what he's talking about. He don't even like sports. But if anyone asks the New Orleans Saints are better than the Atlanta Falcons."

Ianto laughed, "I suppose he just supports the home team. Does New Orleans have a baseball team?"

Jean-Paul shook his head "Not a single major league baseball team in all of Louisiana" he poured some coffee and handed the mug to Ianto "but FYI I think the Rangers are better than the Braves."

"I have a friend who likes the Chargers" Ianto took a sip, yep definitely better than that toxic waste Gwill tried to give him.

"They're a football team."

"I know that."

"Does Jack have a favourite team?"

Ianto blinked, Jack wasn't even technically American; not that anyone really knew that "Well, he's not a big sports fan—won't even watch rugby but he told me once that he was fond of Chicago."

Jean-Paul grimaced.

Then Edie came into the kitchen "Ifan Carwyn Jones is there a reason you're not in my study?"

"Oh it's my fault Cherie" said Jean-Paul "just getting him a coffee."

"You were also talking sports" her hands were on her hips.

"No we weren't, not really. He was just telling me that Jack likes Chicago."

Edie sighed, "Whatever, Ianto come on."

And Ianto obediently followed her into her study.

Edie sat on a plushy blue sofa and indicated that Ianto sit next her. He did and set his coffee on an end table—on a coaster of course, it had a pelican on it. The pelican was the state bird of Louisiana—Ianto made a point to know stuff like that.

"So," Edie began "first of all, where's Jack?"

"He's away on business" well, it was sort of the truth.

"Have you talked to him since he left?"

Ianto sighed "No, I've tried calling but his mobile keeps going to voice mail."

"Okay, is that what's bothering you? That you can't get a hold of him?"

"One of the things I guess."

She put a hand over his "All right baby brother, talk to me."

Ianto shrugged "I don't know what's wrong with me, Edie."

"Gwill told me you haven't been taking your medication."

"I've been busy."

"Ifan, you must always make time to take medicine."

Ianto sagged against the sofa "I know, I know. It's just being a single father while Jack's gone added to my job, it's bloody hard."

"I imagine."

"And Gwen thinks she should be in charge just because she was a cop—she was just a beat cop though. She didn't even know how to use a gun till Jack taught her. I mean she came to work and right off acted like she'd been an inspector all her life. She was on the fucking beat! You know in America beat cops get guns?"

"I was aware of that yes. J.P's dad was a cop."

"And Gwen's in love with Jack, stares at him like he's some fucking rock star and she cheated on Rhys with Owen. You know I can't stand infidelity! _And_ people who can't make up their minds!"

"So, you're upset with Gwen?"

"No!" he stood up and began to pace "Jack told me he might disappear for a bit but that was before he got custody of his daughter. Rini asks me every day if I know when Daddy will be home yet."

"You're upset with Jack then?"

"No!" he sank to his knees "No. I know I should be taking my meds and I know I shouldn't be drinking and losing my temper. I shouldn't be going out at night. I have responsibility but sometimes, a lot lately, I've been thinking, I'm only twenty-three, I should be out having fun, I shouldn't be in some life threatening job, I shouldn't be raising two six year old kids. I should be sewing my wild oats or something. And I can't stand myself for thinking that!" he broke down. So that's what was wrong with him then? Ianto was disgusted with himself.

Edie's arms were around him and he cried onto her shoulder.

* * *

TWDWTWDWTWDWTWDWTWDW

Jack was delaying talking about what had happened to Gray and their dad for as long as possible. He was just telling his sister about why he couldn't die when the Doctor came running back in the tent, Martha not far behind, looking very confused.

The Doctor went straight up to Serena "Do you know that scientist woman?"

"What?" Serena blinked.

"You must know her. You're from the future and from what I've seen the technology she's using doesn't belong here."

"Doctor," Jack said, not liking the tone he was taking with Serena "what's going on?"

"I don't know!" the Doctor snapped and began pacing.

"Doctor," Martha's voice was gentle "do you know that woman or something?"

The Time Lord stopped pacing and sank onto a pile of cushions "I'm not sure. She looks like…but she's human…" he sighed "I'm not that lucky."

Serena took a tentative step toward the Doctor "Fra—Jack said that you had a time machine, that's how you got here?"

The Doctor nodded "My TARDIS."

Serena licked her lips "Time and Relative Dimensions in Space?"

The Doctor looked at her sharply "Yes, how do you know?"

"That's how we got here, Jeanie and I."

"Jeanie?" The Doctor, Jack and Martha all chimed.

"Yes, she's a Time Lady, except she's hiding as a human right now. It's a bit complicated—"

The Doctor shot up "Why is she human? Why did you come here?"

Jack crossed his arms "No wonder you vanished, you ran off with a Time Lady."

"I didn't run off with her, no one was supposed to know I was gone at all. But she felt something coming and she was scared so we came here to hide, well not here exactly because she couldn't get her TARDIS within twenty miles of Greek territory. She made herself human so nothing could find her."

"Where's her fob watch?" there was a hint desperation and a splash of hope in the Doctor's voice.

"It's in her TARDIS. You're a Time Lord, that's great. She told me to let her out if another Time Lord showed, well one that seemed trustworthy."

The Doctor's eyes looked a bit wild to Jack "Where's her TARDIS?"

"Right outside her tent, it looks like a supply wagon."

"Do you have the key?"

"Yeah…"

"Doctor" Jack and Martha said as one.

Martha put a hand on the Doctor's arm "Who's Jeanie?"

Serena looked at the Doctor curiously, "You're really the Doctor? That's even better than you being a regular Time Lord. Jeanie told me about you, she really loves you."

Jack rose his eyebrows and Martha looked crestfallen but then the Doctor said while sinking back onto the cushions "My baby sister's really here? She's alive? I am not that lucky" his voice sounded choked but no tears escaped his eyes.

* * *

…………………………………………..

That night against Menelaus' advice, the Doctor and Serena snuck back into Agamemnon's camp. The Doctor told Jack and Martha to stay in the Spartan camp, surprisingly Jack said that he would and with a look told the Doctor that he would ensure Martha do the same. See, it was a good thing after all, the Doctor left Jack on that space station; the man it seemed had matured greatly since they last met.

They made it to Jeanie's TARDIS without incident. The inside was very girlie, girlie and pink, just like his sister. He couldn't help but smile a little at the memories that came rushing at him, memories he tried not to think about too often.

"Where is it?" he asked.

Jack's sister led him down a hall "In the safe. I didn't want to risk losing it" Jack's _sister,_ _Jack's _sister and the Doctor's _sister_ travelled together, were friends, possibly more but the Doctor didn't want to address that issue at the moment. How was this happening? He was NEVER this lucky. Was he really getting his baby sister back or was this all some hallucination? Were the Daleks behind this? The Cybermen? Maybe the Slitheen? Or scary thought, maybe the Master? What about the Rani? The Doctor shuddered, evil woman she was. Of course it was possible he supposed that this was real, that good things come to those who wait.

Serena opened a safe in what was clearly Jeanie's bedroom and pulled out the fob watch. The Doctor picked up a stuffed animal that was on the bed, it was one he'd given her when she entered the Academy. He had been about sixteen at the time and he and their brother and father had gone to Earth for a holiday trip, it was some father/son bonding thing. It was there the Doctor picked up the toy for Jeanie—it was a pink bunny. Jeanie liked Earth rabbits. Even though Earth rabbits weren't pink—Gallifreyan rabbits on the other hand…

He blinked back tears and set the bunny down and took the watch as Serena handed it to him "How long have you been here?"

"About eight years."

"You said you couldn't get the TARDIS within twenty miles of Greece—"

"Not with its power no. We've had to drag it like it was a real wagon. Should we wake her now?"

The Doctor shook his head "Not tonight, not here. Send a message to her tomorrow, have her come to the Spartan camp."

* * *

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

Ianto's third eldest brother, Geraint was a doctor and he with medical bag in hand came to see Ianto at Edie's. He arrived just as Ianto had cried himself out. Geraint entered the room as Ianto was blowing his nose.

"Good thing I brought a lolly" he said in that good naturedly way of his.

"I'll give you some privacy" Edie said and left the room, closing the door behind her.

Geraint set his bag down "How are you feeling today Ianto?"

Ianto shrugged "I've been better."

Geraint nodded "Right, now take off your shirt and sit on the desk" he pulled a stethoscope from his pocket.

Ianto stared at him for a moment "Never say those words to me again" but he did as he was told.

Geraint blinked "Never tell me why. Anyway, do you know how much you weigh?"

"Er…no"

"Hmm, well, you're not overweight; of course with your metabolism I'm not surprised. However, you're a bit flabby."

"Flabby?"

"Yeah, flabby skinny, it happens. You ought to do some weight lifting, work on those pectoral muscles. You've got the start of some little man boobies there."

"What?!" Ianto looked down at his chest "I haven't!"

"Sure you do. It comes from smoking weed and drinking."

"I do not smoke weed! Anymore" Ianto was getting irritated.

"And" Geraint poked Ianto's stomach "You need to work on your abs too, you have a bit of a tummy. Alcohol will do that too and lack of nutrients. We're going to get you on a proper diet and exercise regime."

Ianto huffed "Geraint, you're a doctor, not a personal trainer."

"Right you are. Let's have a listen to that heart, shall we?"

The stethoscope was cold and Geraint used an ear thermometer to take his temperature. Ianto hated things in his ears but it was better than the alternative. Geraint didn't put much stock in oral or underarm temperature taking. He wasn't sure why but Ianto felt he'd be more comfortable being poked and prodded by Owen. Speaking of Owen…

"I had a chat with your Dr. Harper" Geraint said as he looked in Ianto's ear.

"Oh? Then why did you insist on seeing me yourself?"

"Because Dr. Harper is still a kid."

"He's a year and a half older than me."

"I rest my case."

"Owen's a genius. He was a junior doctor by the time he was twenty-three. You were still in medical school when you were that age." Oh gods, Ianto must be ill if he was actually defending Owen.

Geraint sighed "I'm aware of that. But if you must know, the truth is he asked me to look over you, felt you'd trust me more than him."

"Oh."

Geraint pulled out a tongue depressor "Now, open wide."

* * *

**So what do you think so far? Please review and let me know. If there are any typos or whatever, blame a combination of heat, tiredness and depression.**

**By the way, have any of you seen John's shark movie? Shark Attack 3: Megalodon. I ordered it recently and well…it's a shark movie, it's fairly predictable. John did the best acting job of course but during the whole time I kept wanting to call him Jack when his character is called Ben. I was like "Jack! I mean Ben! Look out!" Anyway, it's worth watching if you're like me and obsessed with all things John Barrowman.**

**Oh and here's a new condition for you, it's something I think a lot of us suffer from. I call it Jantoholism. It's where you cannot get enough Janto, where you live and breathe Janto. Where Jack and Ianto will not leave you alone and you're okay with it. Great in fact. It's also where you know that if you ever are in the same vicinity as RTD you must have someone with you to restrain you or you will go to jail. Where you immediately went out and had a coffee after watching Day 4. Where you are tempted to use chocolate (preferable dark) as a secret weapon. Well, you get the picture.**

**I am a Jantoholic, are you?**

…


	31. Friends and Family

**Okay folks, you know the drill. There aren't any character descriptions with this chapter I'm afraid because I haven't finished them. Sorry.**

**Anyway, I hope you like it. There's some foreshadowing for upcoming events, pretty blatant foreshadowing if you catch my drift.**

**The Doctor is really hard to write by the way. I want you all to know that.**

**Originally this was supposed to be "Brothers and Sisters part two" but I felt what's below was a better title.**

* * *

Friends and Family

Teeth. Sharp teeth. Big fucking sharp teeth was all Jack remembered from his dream. Or maybe it was a nightmare. But why the hell would he dream about sharp teeth? It could have been a memory he supposed, but why would he need _that_ memory, here in the Trojan War?

"Menelaus?" he asked at breakfast "are there any sharks around here?"

"Sorry?" the king blinked "what are sharks?"

"Big man eating fish with teeth"

"Oh, yes, in the water but they won't bother you unless you've irritated Poseidon"

And Jack had to wonder if he'd ever have. Or had yet to, oh the complications of time travel.

"Now if you gentlemen will excuse me," Menelaus stood "I have a meeting with the other kings I must attend. Wish me luck"

"Yeah, good luck" Jack said offhandedly, still preoccupied with his dream.

"Have fun" the Doctor said cheerily.

Menelaus rolled his eyes and walked off.

"Do you have something against sharks, Captain?" the Doctor asked

"Yeah" Jack sat down "I don't like them. Especially the big ones"

"Oh, what'd they ever do to you?"

"I don't wanna talk about it." Jack stood up again at the arrival of Nina and Martha "Ladies, good morning"

"Morning Jack" Martha said with a smile

"Good morning" Nina hugged him and then she turned to the Doctor "I sent that message to Jeanie"

"Ah, good what'd you say?"

"That I wanted to see her. That should get her over here" she sat down and helped herself to some food.

"So Nina" Jack said, thinking of something to get his mind off sharks "you and Jeanie, what _kind_ of friends are you?"

The Doctor covered his ears "I don't wanna know, no, no, I don't wanna know"

Martha giggled and Nina smiled "You'll just have to wait to find out, little brother"

After awhile a beautiful woman, not quite thirty walked into camp. She had long brown hair and light blue eyes. She rushed into Nina's arms as soon as she spotted her. "Nina! I'm so glad you're all right"

"Me too" Nina kissed her forehead, it didn't answer Jack's question though. You never knew with girls. "Jeanie, this is my brother, Jack and this is the Doctor and Martha whom I think you already met"

"Briefly" Jeanie nodded and she said to the Doctor "What was it you wanted?"

The Doctor stood "I'm interested in those explosions you keep causing, making it very difficult to get any sleep around here."

Jeanie crossed her arms "I'm just doing my job"

"With technology that doesn't exist yet!"

"I don't know what you're talking about"

"Don't give me that"

"Doctor" said Martha "maybe we should go inside" she inclined her head towards the tent.

"Yes" the Doctor nodded "we should"

The Doctor led the way, followed by Nina and Jeanie. Martha started to follow but Jack held her back, as interested as he was, he thought of something more important he should be doing "Martha, can your mobile call anywhere?"

"Yeah, the Doctor fixed it so it could"

"May I use it?"

* * *

TWTWTWTWTWTWTW

Geraint ordered Ianto to have some blood work done, to see how his thyroid was doing and told him that both he and Owen would have to see the results. Geraint also gave Ianto the date and location of an A.A meeting and suggested healthier ways of relieving stress.

And that was how Ianto ended up at a beginning Yoga class with his sisters and his sister-in-law, Gwendolyn. With six children and Cadfael as a husband Ianto could see why she would want to take yoga to relieve the stress she must have.

Ianto had no idea one could sweat that much in yoga, by the time the session was over he was exhausted and yet at the same time he felt relaxed. Weird. As he headed into the men's locker room to change (he didn't trust their showers) his mobile rang. He looked at the caller ID and despite having no idea who Martha Jones was, he answered

"Hello?"

"Hey Ianto"

Ianto's knees buckled under him at the sound of Jack's voice and he sank onto a bench "Jack?"

"Yep, had to borrow a friend's phone to call but I thought I'd check up on you and the kids. And I needed to hear your voice. "

"Are you all right?" Ianto asked, his concern for Jack outweighing his own misery "will you be home soon?"

"I'm fine though I have a lot to tell you when I get home which will be as soon as I can. The Doctor's ship is a bit unpredictable. How long has it been?"

Ianto swallowed "Nearly a month now"

"Oh God, really? It's only been a couple days for me" and Ianto fancied he could picture Jack's eyes wide with shock "damn time travel. I am so sorry"

"It's okay" Ianto lied, he didn't want to worry Jack right now, but he would tell Jack what happened when he got home. "We all miss you though"

Jack sighed "I miss you too. How are the kids?"

"They're doing all right. Rini absolutely loves her bike, hasn't ridden it yet though and don't worry I took a bunch of pictures and video too."

"I can't believe I missed her party. Tell her I'm sorry and that I'll make it up to her. Wait, are the kids with you?"

"No actually, I'm out right now. Sorry"

"That's okay, I'll try and see if we can leave tonight. I don't like being away from you."

"Back at you. What is that noise in the background?"

"Oh, that's just the Trojan War"

"Trojan War? Really? Hermes said he knew but wouldn't give me specifics"

Jack laughed "Oh wait till I tell you what I saw the other night. It'll blow your mind"

"He said he'd let you tell me. Said it was something he doesn't even tell his best friends. So, did you get your answers?"

Jack sighed again "I did yeah. Not what I wanted to hear but yeah. How's the team?"

"They're good. I uh I've let Owen be in charge, well sort of a joint effort between Owen and Gwen. I'm sorry Jack but I just couldn't be a single father and boss of Torchwood at the same time."

"Oh yeah, I didn't think of that, I'm sorry. Of course, I didn't think I'd be gone a month. How are they handling it?"

"Can you give me an exact time you'll be home, so I can have some coffee ready for you?" Ianto's eyes darted around the room as if Jack was right in front of him and he was avoiding looking into his eyes,

"Is there a reason you changed the subject? And no, I can't"

Ianto stood and went to the locker he stored his day clothes in "What subject?"

"Ianto. Where are you anyway?"

With his free hand Ianto unlocked the locker "At the gym, I've been accused of being flabby skinny and I've been dragged to a yoga class with my sisters."

A moment of silence later Jack said "Okay, what? I heard the words you said, heard them quite clearly but I'm not comprehending them for some reason. Flabby?"

"Yep. The start of man boobies apparently" He could just picture Jack's eyes bugged out

"_Man boobies_? Who told you that?"

"Well, Geraint started it and every single one of my siblings agreed. I've even been told that my chest hair would look sexier if I worked on my pecs"

"Since when do you have chest hair?"

"Since I stopped shaving it, sir and waxing was too painful."

"Jones. Ianto Jones, what _am_ I going to do you?"

"I can think of several things when you get home. I've still got that stopwatch you gave me for Christmas"

He could hear the grin in Jack's voice "Oh yeah? Well, I can think of a few too."

"Quite a list. Especially if you add chocolate sauce"

"Okay, I'm going to tell the Doctor that I need to get home NOW"

Ianto smiled "You do that"

"Actually, I should go anyway, the Spartans are looking at me funny"

"They must be amazed at how sexy you are"

"True but I'm afraid I've disappointed them all by telling them I'm taken"

A warm feeling spread over Ianto at the sincerity in Jack's voice "I love you, Jack"

"I love you too, Ianto" his voice was soft and slightly choked "I miss you and tell the kids for me"

"I will. Oh, I'm making you something"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, it's in the style of your favourite decade so I hope you'll like it"

"Are you making me a suit?"

"Might be"

"I'm sure I'll love it"

"I hope so but I'm afraid I've been using your room as a sewing room so it's a bit of a mess. You'll have to sleep in mine, in fact, uh, I wouldn't be opposed to having you move in with me permanently you know since we're all with the 'I love you's' now."

"Sounds good to me. Now, I really should be going. I love you"

"I love you too"

"I'll see you soon"

"Yeah, bye"

Ianto hung up feeling much better than he had been in the past couple of weeks.

…

* * *

TWDWTWDWTWDWTWDWTWDW

"It's okay, Jeanie" Nina said once they were in the tent "he knows we're from the future"

Jeanie's arms were crossed and the Doctor was reminded of the time she was five and Father wouldn't let her go outside to play because she hadn't cleaned her room "Did you tell him that we didn't know how we got here?"

"But we do" Nina held out the fob watch to her "this is yours, Jeanie. Open it"

Jeanie didn't take it but looked directly at the Doctor "who exactly are you?"

"I'm your brother" the Doctor said simply "I'm a Time Lord and you're a Time Lady—at least you will be when you open that—if you open that. You don't have to if you don't want to" it was hard for him to say that, really hard. As much as he wanted his sister back, he couldn't force her. He was so used to being alone, it didn't really matter, at least he told himself that. Even if it were one of his own children standing before him, he wouldn't force them to open the watch.

"My brother?" Jeanie took the watch then but only held it "What are Time Lords?"

The Doctor was about to say 'I'm the last' but figured that wasn't the right thing to say at this time. Oh how was he going to tell her if she did open the watch? He couldn't put her through that pain. He just couldn't. So he made one of the more painful decisions he's made recently. "It doesn't matter" he snatched the watch from her "because you're not going to be one"

Nina gasped and Martha who had just come inside said "Doctor, why?"

"I'm not going to put her though that, Martha. I can't subject her to—" he didn't finish

"Give that back" Jeanie made a grab for it "It's mine!"

The Doctor held it above his head "No, I won't put you through it, you have a chance to live a human life—"

"Put me though what?" she jumped up but at about five foot three she was no match.

"It doesn't matter"

"Like Tartarus it doesn't! You're trying to keep something from me and I won't have it. Now give that back!"

"No!" the watch felt hot in the Doctor's hand but he ignored it.

The game of fob watch keep away went on for another minute or so before Jeanie in true little sister fashion kicked the Doctor in both knees, sending him to them. Jeanie took the watch back.

"I think I'll make my own decisions, Doctor" she opened the watch.

…………..

Jack felt rather content after getting off the phone with Ianto, content yet all the more anxious to get home to his little family. Family? The question now was what was he going to do with his sister? Jack was sure Ianto wouldn't mind her staying with them and if he did he wouldn't say anything about it. Not only that but Rini wasn't the only niece Nina had and she had at least one nephew Jack was fairly certain was still alive. Alice of course probably wouldn't care to know she had an aunt or about Rini either for that matter. Alice barely wanted anything to do with Jack.

Then there was his son Nick, who actually seemed to want to know his father and who didn't seem to mind that Jack was immortal. But Nick was in the U.S Army and currently serving a tour in Iraq. Come to think of it, his birthday was in April, Jack should send him something. Holy crap, he was the same age as Ianto, a few months older at that.

Would Ianto still want to be with him, knowing about his other children? Because Jack had to tell him, Ianto had a right to know. Especially if anyone else came popping out of the woodwork. Jack would start though with telling Ianto about Heather 'Rhea' Silva and their son, Freddy and then go from their. After a couple days though.

Now back to his sister. He supposed Nina might want to continue travelling with Jeanie. But like Jack Nina could never go home again.

Setting aside his racing thoughts he entered the tent to find the Doctor hugging Jeanie tightly, tears in his eyes.

Jack handed the mobile back to Martha "Thanks" and then he addressed the room "everything okay?"

"For the moment" the Doctor kissed Jeanie's forehead and let her go "who were you calling?"

Jack tried to feign innocence "Calling? I wasn't—"

"Jack"

"I'm sorry, but I had to call Ianto. Found out it's been nearly a month his time"

The Doctor's brows furrowed "that's interesting"

"Why?"

"Martha's phone should have called Martha's time which is two months from when we picked you up. Why had the Rift been active?"

Two months? Jack sighed "Blame the phone on Divine Intervention, I find blaming Dive Intervention helps with a lot of unexplained phenomena." What the hell was wrong with Jack? He didn't normally talk like that. It was because he was away from Ianto, that must be it. "as for the Rift, oh I'll tell you about the Rift. There's some other things I wanna tell you too but first, you gonna introduce me to your sister or do I have to do it myself?"

"Oh no! You stay away from her"

"Yeah" said Nina "I saw her first"

* * *

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

Owen decided to check up on Ianto before going home for the evening. Sure, Ianto's house was a little out of his way but Owen was a doctor damn it and Ianto was his patient and his team mate and possibly even his friend. So, Owen found himself on Ianto's doorstep at about six that evening. He heard what sounded like "Eye of the Tiger" coming from within.

Owen knocked and a few seconds later Ianto opened the door.

"Owen? What a surprise" Ianto was wearing jeans and a t-shirt that said 'I survived the Brecon Beacons' in red Dracula font.

"I was in the neighbourhood" Owen shrugged "thought I'd drop by"

"Okay, you wanna come in?" he stood aside

"Yeah, thanks" Owen went in and Ianto shut the door "nice shirt"

"Oh yeah. I made one for everyone; I just haven't gotten around to giving them out. Do you want one?"

Owen smiled "Ya know, I think I do. Is that 'Eye of the Tiger' I hear?"

"Oh yeah," Ianto led him into the living room "kids are playing Rockband"

And sure enough they were, Jack's daughter singing and Ianto's son at the drums. "You have Rockband?"

"Well, half of it anyway. I bought the system and game the other day but we're borrowing the guitars from Gavin and the drums from one of my nephews. Kids, could you stop that, we have company."

"Sure Tad" Cory picked up the controls and pressed pause.

Rini dropped the microphone "Hi Owen!" and she hugged him.

"Hey there sweetheart" he patted her back.

"Cory," Ianto said "you remember Owen; he was at Rini's party"

"Yes" Cory stood up and shook Owen's hand "Nice to see you again, sir"

Owen turned to Ianto "You sure he's not your clone?"

"Quite" Ianto nodded "_I_ don't call _you_ sir"

Owen couldn't help but smile "Glad to see you're feeling better"

"Much; Jack called this morning"

"Oh yeah? What'd he say?"

"That he'll be home as soon as possible. Anyway, I was just about to start dinner. Would you like to stay?"

"Sure thanks, I'm starving. Need any help?"

"Nah, I've got it. Do you like spaghetti?"

Owen nodded "Is there someone who doesn't?"

Rini tugged at his sleeve "You wanna play Rockband with us, Owen?"

"Yeah I do!"

"Yay! Cory we have to make a character for him"

…

While fixing dinner Ianto periodically checked up on Owen and the kids. They were having a good time, Cory on drums, Rini singing and Owen on guitar. Ianto supposed they might need a bass player after dinner. Owen it seemed was a natural with kids, he was being very nice. Ianto wondered if he was running a fever, or maybe Owen wasn't such a jerk after all.

Once he poured the pasta into the strainer he called for everyone to wash up. He heard the kids scamper up the stairs and Owen came into the kitchen.

"All right, honest time Ianto: You staying away from the booze?"

Ianto nodded "Gwill and Gavin cleared me out. They didn't miss a drop" _At the time anyway, it's not my fault I found that stash of rum in the attic. I haven't opened any yet though, it's for emergencies. _He transferred the pasta to a large bowl, his hands shook "It's been three days"

"Good" Owen moved to the sink and washed his hands. After he dried them he took the bowl from Ianto "I'll help"

"Thanks" Ianto picked up the lighter tray of garlic bread "I've already set the table"

"You are going to tell Jack, right?"

Ianto blinked "That I invited you for dinner? I suppose"

Owen rolled his eyes "About the booze and temper you twat"

Ianto smiled "Now that's the Owen I know" he sighed "yes, of course I'll tell Jack. I'll tell him everything, even the bit about hitting Gwen."

"To be fair, she did hit you first"

Ianto shrugged "I shouldn't have said what I did"

"That Welsh temper"

Ianto gave him a wry grin "There's Irish in my family too"

"See there's your excuse"

It was a nice dinner and for once Ianto felt comfortable around Owen, like he felt with his brothers. Owen even listened with apparent interest when Cory and Rini talked about how things were at school. After dinner, Owen helped Ianto clear up.

"You don't have to you know" Ianto said as they put the leftovers in some Tupperware for the fridge.

"Ianto, I know you think I was probably raised by wolves or something—"

"Or something: Wolves are extinct in the wild on this island. Although, you could have grown up in a zoo."

Owen thwacked him with a dish towel "But I do know my manners. But don't go spreading it around, I have a reputation to protect"

"A reputation for being a jerk?"

"How the hell does Jack put up with you?"

"I ask myself that everyday"

Owen sighed and turned on the faucet "You should invest in a dishwasher"

"Oh I have one, his name is Jack but he's not here right now."

Ianto could just see the animated sweat drop over Owen's head "You give those kids chores?"

"They do their school work and keep their rooms clean. What more can I ask of them?"

"Anyway, I'll wash you dry"

Ianto picked up the drying towel "Oh brilliant a substitute dishwasher"

Owen rolled his eyes again "You taking your meds?"

"Cory brings me them in the morning and makes sure I swallow."

"Good. Think you're up for work tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I'm borrowing Anwen's car but I just can't find a baby-sitter. Everyone's busy, which is odd because there's usually someone."

"I thought your sister-in-law usually watched them"

"She does but her parents are visiting and Mrs. William's a bit—well, Gwill calls his mother-in-law a 'nasty old hag' and that's when he's being nice. Anyway, they're not just here to see Anwen, she wouldn't say but apparently her brother Rhys who is also Gwen's boyfriend has some news."

"Oh yeah" Owen nodded "Gwen didn't say anything but she was wearing a ring today."

Ianto smiled "That's fantastic"

"You just want her to stay away from Jack"

Ianto blinked innocently "Why Owen, whatever do you mean?"

After the dishes were done Owen took them all out for ice cream and then they played two more rounds of Rockband before Owen headed for home. Owen told Ianto to just bring the kids to work as nothing dangerous was going on. The kids were free to play video games in the conference room and if anything major went down, they'd be safe in Jack's bunker.

…

Ianto and the kids got to the Hub early to set up the game in the conference room and Ianto wanted to make coffee. His machine at home just wasn't the same. Owen oddly enough was the first to arrive and he helped with the game. Owen told the kids he would play with them later but he needed to do some work first. So they left the kids alone with their pretend band. Ianto told them how to work the room's com system if they needed anything.

Once everyone (minus Jack of course) was there Gwen announced that she and Rhys were engaged. Ianto had apologised to her a couple days before. She had waved it off though, saying she deserved it and she was the one who was sorry.

Just before lunch as Owen was playing with the kids a loud metallic grinding noise sounded throughout the Hub. Gwen and Tosh reached for their guns as a blue box materialised before them. But Ianto told them not to worry, that it was the Doctor's ship.

* * *

TWDWTWDWTWDWTWDW

The Doctor was a bit surly with Jack after he told him about Torchwood even though Jack explained that it was different now, that his Torchwood was nothing like London. He of course refrained from telling the Doctor that Ianto used to work for TW:1 and about the Lisa incident.

"There's only half a dozen of us left" Jack told him "Five of us in Cardiff and Archie in Glasgow—I think you'd like him actually. Torchwood One was destroyed in the battle and Torchwood Four is missing."

The Doctor wore a look on his face that said Jack had just betrayed him in the worst possible way.

Jeanie put a tentative hand on her brother's arm "Why are you so upset?"

"You don't know what Torchwood did!" he snapped at her

"Just Torchwood London" Jack said defensively "When I got command of Cardiff back 2000 I severed all links with London. I only answer to the Queen, considering she signs my paycheque"

The Doctor sighed "Well, I do like Her Majesty"

"I swear to you its different"

"My cousin Adeola died at Canary Wharf" Martha said quietly

"I'm sorry" Jack told her, Ianto had mentioned a friend by that name who worked outside Yvonne's office "I would have been there to help but as I said Doctor my main concern was Cardiff and the Rift"

Finally the Doctor nodded and that was that. Then Jack told him why he so desperately wanted to get home.

"Well, Jack, why didn't you say anything?" he sounded like his old self, well the self he was before Jack told him about Torchwood anyway. "Family's important but before we go I need to see if I can fix Jeanie's TARDIS."

After the Doctor decided to store his sister's TARDIS in his and a harrowing adventure on the beach involving a sea monster, Hercules, Xena and their sidekicks (long story) they were finally ready to go home. Jack of course invited his sister to stay with him and Ianto. She agreed as long as Jeanie could too. Jeanie was still thinking about whether or not to travel with her brother. Seeing all those wounded and dying soldiers Martha decided to go home and finish her exams.

It was good to see how happy the Doctor was to have his sister help him fly the TARDIS.

Once the TARDIS was done materialising Jack told the others that he'd go out first, just so the team would know the ship wasn't a threat. He didn't tell them it was really in case anyone was a little trigger happy.

Ianto was the first one to rush into his arms. Jack pulled him into a kiss immediately, he tasted like coffee.

"Gods, I missed you" Jack murmured

Vaguely he heard Gwen say "Owen, bring the kids up here will you?"

He stopped kissing Ianto to ask "Kids?"

"Couldn't get a sitter so they're playing Rockband in the new conference room" Ianto said releasing Jack albeit reluctantly.

Before Jack could ask "New Conference room?" he heard a "Where the hell have you been Harkness?" accompanied by a "Daddy!"

Rini was the second to rush into his arms.

* * *

**Okay, people I know this last bit is a little summary-ey but you all wanted Jack to get home and so did I. I will have the Doctor meet the team and Jack explaining his sister and Ianto telling Jack about his problems as soon as I think of how to go about it.**

_**Coming up on "Not Unbreakable"**_

"_**I'm sorry, big brother but I don't feel like travelling besides someone ought to keep an eye on Torchwood while you're off gallivanting around"**_

_**and…**_

"_**An Apex Communications is—"**_

_**Jack grabbed the paper from Ianto "What?! Don't these people ever learn?"**_

**Please review, pretty please with coffee and chocolate and Jack and Ianto willing to do tricks?**

**How many of you want a sex scene with our boys? Because I'll do it if you want it. You just have to tell me in a review. And I must get at least ten people wanting it. **

**BTW QUESTION FOR UK CITIZENS: When is rugby season? You know, when they have the matches on TV and stuff. Do they even have the matches on TV and stuff? I'd look it up but I wanna try this first.**

**See, because I want to write a little story where Ianto and all his brothers and uncles are watching rugby at Ianto and Jack's house while Jack is hanging out in the kitchen with the other male American in-laws (the females of the family our elsewhere with the younger kids). It's much more in depth than that but I don't wanna give anything away.**

**TTFN**


	32. Upon Returning

**Hiya gang! I hope you like this chapter.**

**Chapter rating: PG to PG 13 depending on your perspective**

**Chapter summary: Jack introduces the team to the Doctor, etc and Jack learns what's been happening while he was away. Also, I don't think Gwen talks at all, I guess she didn't have anything to say. I'm sorry to those of you that like to have her talk.  
**

**I'm afraid I didn't quite get ten votes for a Janto love scene. However, since this story now has 300 reviews, YAY!!!, it MIGHT show up in the next chapter in celebration. You'll have to ask me nicely though.**

**Special thanks to Liberty Jones who made the 300****th**** review. *Tosses confetti*  
**

**Now, without further ado… **

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* * *

  
**

Upon Returning

Jack scooped Rini into his arms "Oh Princess, I missed you" he kissed her forehead.

"I missed you too, Daddy. Where were you?"

"It's a long story, I promise I'll tell you all about it later.' The G rated version anyway, well maybe PG, she's mature for her age. "I'm sorry I missed your birthday."

"It's okay, Daddy, Ianto said time travel can't be trusted."

Ianto's face turned bright red and he looked away. Then a small Welsh and stern voice said "It's been absolutely mad without you, Jack. Where the hell have you been?"

"Corrigan Aloysius!" Ianto was even redder if that were possible.

Jack set Rini down "It's all right" he said to Ianto "I expect everyone to swear at me sooner or later."

Then truly surprising him, Cory wrapped his arms around Jack's waist. Jack lifted him up "Hey there, Sport."

"We need to have a family discussion" Cory whispered in his ear "Tad hasn't been feeling well."

Jack patted Cory's back "Okay, we'll do that tonight" he kissed the top of Cory's head and set him down "I missed you."

"I missed you too, Jack."

Then Jack turned his attention to the other three "Ladies, Owen" he hugged Tosh and Gwen and ruffled Owen's hair. "Okay gang, there's some people I want you to meet" he opened the TARDIS doors "Okay folks"

Jack introduced the Doctor and Martha first.

The Doctor grinned at Tosh "Hello again, Dr. Sato."

"Again?" Tosh blinked "Do I know you?"

"Sure you do Tosh," Jack said "he's the strange man you met at Albion.'

"Oh, with the space pig. You look different." She said to the Doctor.

"It happens." He shrugged "Did you work for the Captain then?"

"Yes, I'm not really a medic though."

Owen held up his hand "I was unavailable so she went in my place."

"Well she did an excellent job. Jack, why did—"

"Torchwood London wasn't interested if you can believe it, especially since U.N.I.T got to it first. I wanted a piece of the action, couldn't go myself so I sent one of my team."

The Doctor shook Ianto's hand warmly "Ianto Jones, I'm glad to know any man who can tame the Captain."

"Thank-you sir" Ianto was beet red by this point.

"And any children too" the Doctor reached into his coat and pulled out two lollies "all right if they have these?"

Ianto nodded and Jack said "Sure."

The Doctor kneeled in front of the kids "These are very special lollies, they will taste however you want."

"Thank-you, Mr. Doctor sir" Rini took a lolly.

"Jack, your daughter's adorable."

"I know, she's my daughter." Jack said proudly.

Cory looked at his lolly sceptically "so, if I want it to taste like broccoli it will?"

The Doctor grinned "Absolutely, if that's what you want. Ianto, a very smart boy you've got here."

"Thank-you, sir. He takes after his grandfather."

"Now," Jack said "we ended up in Ancient Greece where we found these two" he indicated Nina and Jeanie "This is Jeanie, the Doctor's sister and this is my big sister, Nina. Long story." He added as Gwen opened her mouth.

"Don't worry," said Martha "it really is a long story."

Ianto reacted first "It's a pleasure to meet you both." He shook their hands "I can see the family resemblance" he said to Nina.

"Oh?" Nina asked "How's that?"

"You and your brother are both unbelievably attractive."

Nina grinned "Jack said I would like you. Jack, don't let this one get away."

"I don't plan on it" Jack took Ianto in his arms. "What're you flirting with my sister for?"

"You flirt with mine. Fair is fair."

"Oh."

Owen snorted "Sorry, there was a—bug."

Martha struck up conversation with Gwen and the Doctor with Tosh and Owen. Cory, Jack noticed was dusting a chair with a handkerchief. Ianto wasn't _that_ OCD was he?

Rini tugged on Jack's sleeve "She's really my aunt?"

"She absolutely is, Princess."

Rini then went up to Nina "Can I call you Auntie Nina?"

Nina crouched down to Rini's level "You bet you can." She was positively glowing.

"Are you going to stay with us? Cause I'm the only girl in the house. Maybe your friend can stay too, then we'll be even."

Jeanie kneeled too "Well, we'll have to talk to your daddies about that."

Jack kissed Ianto's still very red and very warm cheek "That is something I wanna talk to you about."

"Hmm, them staying with us or—"

Jack kissed his lips "Later, privately. I love you."

"I love you too" he straightened Jack's collar "I bet you would like a cup of coffee."

"Am I sexy?"

"Silly question. Is there anyone for tea?"

"Oh yes. I'll have a cuppa" the Doctor said.

"Me too, please" said Jeanie.

……….

* * *

Ianto made his way to the kitchenette, Jack was close behind.

"So why couldn't you find a sitter?"

Ianto began fiddling with the coffee machine "Anwen's parents are visiting and from what I hear of Mrs. Williams, well, sometimes Rini says things people like that shouldn't hear."

"Yeah, Gwill has complained a lot about his mother-in-law. What about everyone else?"

"All busy for some reason. Owen said it was all right to bring the kids today, it's been quiet."

Jack sighed "There's always a calm before the storm. Anyway, you're right, Rini has my mouth."

"Oh God" Ianto looked at Jack "our house is going to be swarmed with boys in ten years."

Jack stared at him in silence for several moments before lightly whacking his arse. "Have you gotten naughtier while I was away? First you flirt with my sister and then you remind me my daughter's going to grow up one of these days."

"Sorry. I missed you" Ianto felt his hands shake, he tried to hide it but wasn't fast enough.

Jack took hold of his hands "You okay? Cory said you haven't been feeling well."

"So that's what he whispered to you. Can we talk about it later?"

"Yeah of course."

"Will your sister be staying?"

"Only if Jeanie does. Is it all right if they stay with us?"

"Certainly, we could use more feminine influence around. Besides, we have a spare room, now that you'll be sleeping in mine."

"Oh yeah" Jack pulled him into a deep and lengthy kiss.

When they pulled apart Ianto said "So are Nina and Jeanie an item?"

"I think so but I'm not sure. They're like Xena and Gabrielle if anything."

……

* * *

Jack had gone back over to the others. Just as the water began boiling for the tea, the Doctor came over.

"Ianto Jones"

"Yes sir?" Ianto turned off the heat and poured the water.

"I've seen you before."

Ianto swallowed, he was afraid of this "Oh well, I was at Canary Wharf but—"

The Doctor held up his hands "No, that's not—you were?"

"One of twenty-seven survivors" great, Ianto was making a fool of himself. "I was just a junior researcher though—"

"Look Ianto, that's okay, I guess. We met when you were seven."

"Oh yes" Ianto remembered the lolly "That was you wasn't it? I've heard you're prone to changing your appearance."

"That's right" the Doctor smiled "I'm glad to see you're doing well."

"Yeah, my brother Gavin was a match for a bone marrow transplant. Though for the longest time I believed that lolly you gave me had something to do with it."

….

Ianto may have been only seven years old, but he knew he was very sick despite the grown-ups best efforts to pretend he wasn't. He could also see that they afraid no one would be able to find that bone marrow stuff he needed. Ianto wasn't too worried; he wasn't scared of dying or anything. Sure, he would rather live but if he couldn't then that was all right. He would probably have to go stay in the hospital soon though. He wasn't looking forward to that, he didn't like hospitals.

He was just happy right now to be out with his Gran Kylia. It was just the two of them and they were spending the day in town. Gran was in the market for new shoes, she liked shoes; she always took Ianto shoe shopping with her. Of course nothing would stop her if she wanted a new dress or something as well. That was what led them to the department store.

"What do you think of this one Ianto?" Gran held up a blue dress with sequins at the neckline.

"The green would go better with your eyes, Gran." He told her honestly "Are you going to a nice dinner?"

"No but if anyone ever wants to take me, I'll have something to wear. You're right, the green is better." She put the blue back and picked up the green, "Be a love and hold on to my handbag while I try this on."

"Yes, Gran." He took hold of the bag.

"Don't disappear on me, Ianto. Wait right here."

"I will Gran"

Just as Gran went into the fitting room, a man in white walked by, three people were with him, two women and one man. Curious as to why there was celery on the man in white's lapel, Ianto followed.

"What are we doing in Cardiff, Doctor?" One of the women asked the man in white.

"I don't know Tegan" the Doctor said "but look we're in a department store. You ladies can enjoy the shopping while we find out. Well, go on, Adric go with them."

"What about you?" the other man asked.

"I have my own ways." His three friends walked away and the man called Doctor turned around "Hello there" he said to Ianto "Are you lost, lad?"

"No sir, my Gran's trying on a dress. I just want to know why you're wearing a vegetable."

"Ah, don't you like it?"

"I think you look ridiculous."

"Why?"

"I don't like vegetables, well except when Gran cooks them. Gran's a really good cook."

The Doctor kneeled down "Is that so? Grandmothers often are, except for my own, she was never very good."

"Why not?"

"She made the worst banana pie."

"Banana pie?"

"Oh yes, tradition in my family. Now my baby sister on the other hand, she's an excellent cook and makes the best banana pie this side of the Aardvark Cluster."

Ianto giggled "You're funny."

"Well, I do try." He held out his hand "I'm the Doctor. What's your name?"

"Ianto Jones" he shook the Doctor's hand "are you a real doctor?"

"I like to think I know enough. Why?"

"What do you know about bone marrow?"

"Oh, I know that it's very important."

"I have leu—leukaemia and everyone says I need new bone marrow and they're trying to find some but they say it can't just be any bone marrow."

'That's absolutely right, it has to be just like yours only healthier of course. I'm awfully sorry, Ianto."

"That's okay, I'm not scared. Gran says everything will work out how it's supposed to."

"I'm sure it will. You know you're a very brave young man."

Ianto shrugged "I have six big brothers, I have to be."

The Doctor smiled.

"Ifan Carwyn Jones, where are you?!"

"Uh oh, I guess Gran's done trying on her dress. I have to go. It was nice meeting you, sir."

"And you, Ianto Jones. Here," he held out a lolly to Ianto "this will taste however you want. I do hope you feel better."

"Thank-you sir."

….

"The main reason I gave you that lolly, Ianto" the Doctor said "was because you impressed me."

"I did?"

"Absolutely, not many seven year olds say exactly what they think of my clothes."

"I was brought up to tell the truth, which reminds me I ought to tell Jack I've met you."

"You haven't told him?"

"No, but it's not lying, it's withholding information."

"Right." he drug out the word "Anyway, your son looks just like you."

"I know the poor thing. Well, why don't you go sit down, sir and I'll bring the refreshments."

……..

* * *

Jack and the Doctor were telling the story of how they met.

"And then the Doctor realised Nancy was Jamie's mother—"

"Wait a minute" Owen interrupted "are you sure about their names?"

"Absolutely why?" said the Doctor.

"Jamie is my father. My Gran, Nancy was sixteen when he was born."

"Really?" Asked Jack "he still alive?"

"Yeah, his obsession with aliens is why mum had him committed. Oh my God, he's not crazy." Owen stood up "Jack, all right if I take a couple days?"

"You wanna visit your dad?"

"Yeah"

"Go ahead."

The Doctor shook Owen's hand "Your grandmother was a special lady."

"Still is, she's still alive. Lives in a retirement home outside of London. She doesn't think Dad is mental but Mum wouldn't listen to her."

"Owen" Jack said "be sure to visit her too. Tell her Captain Harkness says 'Hello'."

"Stop it" the Doctor told Jack "Owen, tell Nancy the Doctor gives his best."

Owen smiled "Guaranteed."

Ianto was carrying over a second serving of refreshments when he dropped the tray and started screaming about spiders.

Jack rushed over to him "Ianto, what's wrong?"

"Spiders! Everywhere, get them off, get them off!" he clawed at himself.

Jack held him "Ianto, there' s no spiders."

"Yes there, yes there are!"

"Damn it" Owen ran to the medical bay "he's going through the DTs. Four days without a drink, I should have seen this coming."

"DTs? How is that possible? He's not an alcoholic."

"Yes he is Jack" said Cory "That's what we need to talk about."

Ianto sobbed onto Jack's shoulder "make it stop, make it stop."

Jack held him close "Shhh, it's okay, Tiger, I've got you, I've got you."

Owen returned with a syringe and stuck it in Ianto's arm. He went limp in Jack's arms immediately.

Jack took a breath "Help me carry him to the sofa and tell me what the hell's been going on."

…..

* * *

Jack and Owen were in Jack's office "Owen, as second-in-command I expect you to tell me what's wrong with him."

"Doctor patient privilege Jack."

"Owen."

"He's also my friend."

"Did I come back to an alternate reality where you're nice to him? Owen, how is Ianto suddenly an alcoholic?"

Owen sighed "All right, but I can't tell you everything. A lot of it you need to hear from him."

"Okay, I can accept that. Talk to me Owen."

"I don't know how he's an alcoholic but he's been drinking a lot since you left. It's been four days since he last had any, hence the DTs."

"He's that dependant on it?" Jack wasn't liking the sound of this.

"Apparently. There were also a few days where he didn't take his medicine."

"Why not?"

"Said he forgot because he was too busy."

Jack was getting a headache "Both his medications?"

"Yeah, Cory got him back on the thyroid pills. I don't know about the bipolar, Ianto said he felt better not taking it."

Jack sighed "How sick do you think he is?"

"I don't know Jack. He's been talking to his therapist sister. I gave him some time off 'cause things have been slow but I think he needs more. I think as long as he gets the help he needs and takes his pills, you won't have to take him off field work permanently."

Jack rubbed his temples "Thanks Owen, I better go sit with him."

"Jack, whatever's wrong with him, it's been brewing a long time."

…..

* * *

Ianto woke up to find his head in Jack's lap and Jack's hand on his forehead.

"Hey" Jack said.

"Hey, I was hallucinating wasn't I?" Ianto sat up.

"Just a bit."

"Are you angry with me?"

"For hallucinating? Why would I be?" Jack put an arm around him.

"I'm told I'm an alcoholic,"

"You wanna tell me how that happened?"

"Yeah" Ianto nodded.

"Jack, Ianto" the Doctor came up to them "I'm taking Martha home now."

"Okay" Jack stood "Drop by whenever you're in the neighbourhood."

"Sure, I still want a proper look around." The Doctor turned to his sister "Are you sure you don't want to come with me?"

"You already parked my TARDIS here."

"Yeah but—"

"I'm sorry, big brother but I don't feel like travelling besides someone ought to keep an eye on Torchwood while you're off gallivanting around"

"All right, just don't fix Jack's manipulator." They hugged, said something in a language Ianto didn't recognise and then the Doctor turned back to Ianto. He pulled a lolly from his coat "Here you are Ianto. I hope you feel better."

Ianto took the lolly "Thank-you Doctor. You have to make me that banana pie sometime."

The Doctor grinned "Ask Jeanie, she's the baby sister I told you about."

……

* * *

"_Banana_ pie?" Jack asked Ianto as the TARDIS dematerialised. "What did you two talk about?"

"Oh, I hadn't told you because I wasn't completely sure till today. The Doctor and I met when I was seven. He was wearing celery and I wanted to know why. This was before the bone marrow transplant."

"Really? That's amazing; you've met the Doctor, Tosh has met the Doctor, Owen's dad has met the Doctor."

"That is amazing" Ianto said in his 'I really don't care but I'll humour you anyway' voice. "Well, er, do you wanna have that talk now?"

Jack nodded.

They went down to the bunker so they could talk privately. Owen took the kids to play more video games and Gwen and Tosh gave Nina and Jeanie the tour at Jack's request. He was considering hiring them, they could use more help around here.

Ianto took a deep breath "There's so much to tell, I don't know where to start."

Good question. How long had he been an alcoholic? What caused it? Owen said it'd been brewing a long time. Jack knew that Ianto had run away from his eldest brother when he was sixteen but he didn't know why. Did that have something do with it? And what about those years Ianto was drifting, doing who knows what in between odd jobs? Jack took a breath "For now, Ianto why don't you just tell me what happened while I was away? I'm sure everything else can wait."

"Okay," Ianto sat on the bed "but first you need to know that I drank a lot when I was Lisa and sometimes when I got angry and she was in my way, I'd hit her or push her."

Jack started at him for long moments, he couldn't believe those words just came out of his sweet Welshman's mouth but at the same time he could. Ianto was after all a lot like his grandfather. Ifan never hit his wife that Jack knew of but that was probably because he took his anger out on Jack. "You did?" he finally said.

"I loved her, I really did and she loved me. That's why I think she broke up with me the morning of the battle. She didn't want to be with me anymore unless I got help. I cut back on the drinking while she was—after the battle. I drank a lot when you suspended me but I knew to cut back when you let me come back. I didn't even have any while I was getting custody of Cory and moving into the house. But after things settled…"

Jack sat next to him and took hold of his shaking hands. "I never saw you drink a whole lot though, no more than the average person."

"It was the times when you weren't looking at me Jack. I can't help it, I crave it so badly. I used to be able satiate it well enough with just one drink a day, sometimes I could go a couple days without feeling it but lately—"

"Talk to me about lately, Ianto. Owen said there were a few days you weren't taking your pills."

Ianto sighed "After you left and didn't come home that day, I guess I started drinking more. A shot of whiskey or rum in my coffee, a beer here and there, leave the kids with Gwill and Anwen and go out on the pull. I never drank heavily in front of them though and I always kept my temper. After Rini's party, I got so busy with keeping the house and the Hub in working order that I didn't even hear my watch beep to remind me about the pills. So I forgot and then I didn't want to take them, bipolar especially."

"Owen said Cory got you back on the thyroid pills."

"Yeah, that night I wrote myself a note to remind me in the morning. Cory found it and brought me the pill and made sure I swallowed. He's been watching me like a hawk ever since."

"Good. What else happened?"

Ianto took another breath "That day, the day I wrote myself that note, I, uh, I hit Gwen."

"You what?"

"Well, she hit me first, of course that was because I called her a whore."

"What?"

Ianto then told him about initially not telling the others Jack had left him in charge because he thought they wouldn't listen to him. He told him about how Gwen automatically took control when they got a rift alert two and a half weeks after Jack left, about the argument they had and how Ianto ran out of there. Owen had told Ianto to go home and rest, to take his pills. Ianto apparently had gone to a bar instead before going home. He told Jack that the next night despite the lecture Hermes gave him that morning; he went out and got so drunk he didn't remember how he went from Splott to Gwill's study.

"I agreed to getting help, I want help, Jack. Gwill cleared my house of alcohol; I still drank though, when no one was looking. I had gone out and bought more. Cory and Rini caught me a few days ago, Cory called Gwill and he and Gavin cleared me out again. Someone was always with me while the kids were at school when they got home they watched me. I feel horrible Jack" Ianto's eyes shone with unshed tears.

Jack put an arm around him "I'm home now; I'm going to help you."

"But there's more" he pushed away from him and stood up "I can't stand myself, Jack! I'm twenty-four years old, I shouldn't be taking care two six year olds, I shouldn't be risking my life in a stupid job I didn't want in the first place! And I hate myself for thinking that! I love those kids, Jack and I love you and I love what we do but, it's just so fucking hard."

Jack stood and took Ianto into his arms "It's okay, Ianto. It's okay to feel that way. You're not alone, I'm home and I'm not gonna leave you again."

"How can you be sure?" Ianto sobbed.

"I love you and those kids and what we do too. That's how." He rubbed circles on Ianto's back.

Ianto sniffed "There's an A.A. meeting day after tomorrow."

"I'll go with you."

"I'm craving it so badly though, I don't know how much longer I can fight it."

"I'll help you, Ianto every step of the way, with everything else too."

…

* * *

**If that flashback of Doctor 5 seems a little OOC, I apologise, but I haven't seen a whole lot of him. And before you ask, I had to use Doctor 5 because of the celery, how else could they get into a conversation about vegetables and stuff?**

**Anyway, please review, especially if you want a love scene. Tell me what you think too. **

**The next chapter will deal more with Ianto's issues and stuff.**

**But the chapter AFTER that, will hopefully feature this:**

_**"I hate fucking sharks!" Jack kicked at a chair and stormed up to his office, slamming the door behind him.**_

_**Everyone stared after him in silence, the situation had to be really bad if Jack was using swear words.**_

_**"Well," Owen broke the silence "it's good to know he hates fucking something."**_

**Hmm, anyone care to guess what that's going to be about? I'm sure some of you have an idea.  
**

TTFN


	33. Alcoholics Not So Anonymous

**For starters real quick: I've edited chapters 1, 2 and 5 a bit to make more sense with how the story's progressed since chapter 9. Have a look at them if you want.**

**Disclaimer: The characters of Robin Chadwick and Jules Cassidy and Sam Starrett belong to Suzanne Brockmann. They are characters in a series of books she has, I've only read one "All Through the Night" and I highly recommend it. And I guess a part of this chapter is a mini crossover. So the way Robin and Jules act in this chapter based on what I've read. So if you've read more than "All Through the Night" don't yell at me. And the songs mentioned belong to whoever wrote them.**

**BTW, this is a long chapter (over 20 pages) because a lot happens including the long awaited love scene. It is a reward for all you lovelies who have reviewed, favourited and put this on alert. You're wonderful. So, please don't forget to review and tell me what you think.**

**Chapter rating: M for sex**

**Chapter genre: family, romance, angst and some humour throughout.**

**WARNING: First if you don't want to read the love scene (I hear laughter) I have sectioned off by a line of Ms and it ends with a line of TWs. Second Jack and Ianto have sort of a fight as well. There is also a dash on minor Gwen bashing from Ianto (no that's not what they fight about).**

**Also BTW, my friend has ****I am What I am**** John's new autobiography and she tells me there is a pic of Claire (John's niece) in between John and Gareth. Now, show of hands, how many of us would do anything to be in her place? Also how many of us are insanely jealous of John's nieces and nephews? Gee, I hope none of them are reading this and if by some weirdness they are, I'm sorry, I come from a boring poor family with nobody famous, I can't help but be jealous.**

**Enough of that, now on to the chapter;**

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* * *

  
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Alcoholics Not So Anonymous

Jack decided to let everyone go home early since nothing was going on. Rini convinced Jack to sing in a game of Rockband before packing it up though. He chose "Everything She Does is Magic" and he was quite good in Ianto's opinion.

As they were getting ready to leave Ianto figured he should probably tell Jack "I'm borrowing Anwen's car—don't worry it can fit six. I thought we should use the company car strictly as the company car."

"Good idea" Jack nodded "we still have to get you a new car though."

"I know, I meant to look while you were gone but—"

"Don't worry about it. How long do you have Anwen's car?"

"As long as her parents are visiting."

"By the way is that an engagement ring on Gwen's finger?"

"Why don't you ask her?"

….

* * *

Ianto let Jack drive home. The kids sat in the middle seats and Nina and Jeanie sat in the very back. It was only due to Ianto's superior organizational skills that they were able to fit six people, the video game equipment and all Nina and Jeanie's luggage Anwen's 2000 minivan. This also included the souvenirs Jack picked up in Ancient Greece. Jeanie's TARDIS apparently had to recharge on the Rift for about a month before she could move it.

"So, Gwen's getting married," Jack said "I guess that explains what Mr and Mrs Williams are doing here. Why would she say yes to Rhys?"

"You wanna say that to Anwen?" Ianto said, turning from the window to look at him.

"No way"

"I mean I imagine you know how sisters are when someone insults their baby brother."

"Not since I was ten."

"That's not my fault" Nina spoke up from the back.

"Didn't say it was."

"Anyway," Ianto said before there could be a brother/sister argument "Anwen doesn't think Gwen is good enough for Rhys, neither do their parents."

"Really?"

"True story."

"But Gwen is so nice" Jeanie said "This Rhys must be truly amazing."

"Nice enough guy" Ianto said.

"You've met him?" Jack asked.

"His sister is married to my brother, Jack. Of course I've met him, once at their wedding and again the other day. He had a day off and Anwen recruited him to baby-sit me, you know make sure I didn't go out and buy more alcohol. He's your average Welshman, a lot like my brother-in-law, Johnny only smarter. He knows I work with Gwen but I didn't tell him exactly what we do as tempting as it was."

"Why was it tempting?"

"Believe it or not I like the guy. We share two nieces and a nephew, he's great with the kids. And he really loves Gwen, worships her, God knows why. I don't like that she's lying to him."

"It's for his own good."

"Jack, our children know what we do. I think Rhys can handle it. His sister knows and she's fine. Besides if Gwen doesn't tell him what she really does, Anwen will. She hates lying to her brother."

Jack shrugged "All right, we'll talk about it later."

* * *

…

"It's a bit of a mess" Ianto said as he led Nina and Jeanie to Jack's room, "I've been sewing in there."

"That's okay, Ianto" Nina said when they got there "No worries, especially since it's not a mess."

"Sure it is," he cleared the pattern paper off the bed. Although he supposed to everyone other than him and Cory the room wasn't a mess per se. The patterns on the bed were the only things out of place. "I'll just put these away and clear the sewing and Jack's things out."

"It can wait Ianto" Jeanie said.

"No, it's all right."

Nina put a hand on Ianto's shoulder "Only if Jack helps but it really can wait."

Jack came behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist. He kissed Ianto's neck, "How 'bout dinner first?"

"I suppose."

"You finish that suit you were telling me about?"

"Oh yeah, last night. I just need to make sure it fits you."

…….

* * *

Ianto's skill with a sewing machine was truly amazing, especially since he was using that antique of his grandmother's. The suit fit Jack perfectly and he looked pretty damn good in it if he did say so himself. It was a midnight blue single breasted sack suit, with a crisp white undershirt and a Shetland striped silk tie. It went great with Jack's black Oxfords.

Jack stared at himself in the mirror in wonder.

Ianto stood next to him "It's not the best work, I'm afraid. I was quite tired last night, couldn't sleep. Tad could do better."

Jack turned his wonderment gaze on Ianto "This is not the best work? You were tired? Ianto, tiger, this is phenomenal. I love it." Jack had to wonder what Ianto could do when he wasn't tired.

"Really?"

"Really" Jack gave him a peck on the lips. "Where'd you find the pattern?"

"It was Gran Kylia's, it's from 1941. I think she inherited it from her mother-in-law as the box it was in was labelled Brigit's patterns. I'm fairly certain my great-grandmother was named Brigit."

"She was at your grandparents' wedding, lovely woman, half Irish. I love the Irish almost as much as I love the Welsh." Jack took Ianto in his arms "Kylia would be proud of you. As for your father, well I've met him a couple of times and believe me when I say he could not have done better. He would be crying with pride over this masterpiece of yours."

"You really think so?"

"Oh yes" Jack kissed Ianto slowly and tenderly.

"Well, it does look rather hot on you" Ianto said huskily.

Jack smiled "Let's take it off later. I wanna show it off. Let's go to dinner in town, all six of us."

Ianto nuzzled Jack's neck "Sounds good to me but Cory's gonna insist on that family discussion."

…

* * *

That night once the children were ready for bed Jack called them to his and Ianto's room for that family discussion. _His and Ianto's room_—that sounded really nice to Jack. He didn't normally get mushy about relationships but Ianto was special. They were made for each other after all.

Cory and Rini sat on the bed and Jack and Ianto sat in chairs.

"Okay," Jack said "who would like the floor first?"

Ianto looked at him "Jack, this isn't a business conference."

"Hey, it's how my dad handled family discussions—it's the only way I know."

Ianto held up his hands "Okay, sorry. My dad had us draw straws."

"Well there were ten thousand of you."

"Three too many zeroes, Jack."

Cory cleared his throat "We need to talk about Tad's health."

"Ianto's very sick, Daddy," Rini said.

"Ianto is also right here" Ianto grumbled.

Jack put a hand on his shoulder "Ianto."

"Sorry, can't help it sometimes."

"I know he is, Princess" Jack said to Rini "and he knows he is."

Cory stood up "We need to talk about what we're going to do about it."

"I'm going to get help, son, I promise." Ianto said.

Jack kneeled in front of the kids "And we're going to give him all the love and support he needs to help get him through this. We just have to be patient."

……………

* * *

There was a very good reason Jack and Ianto always made sure the kids were deeply asleep before they made love—Ianto sang them the Jones lullaby, it really did keep children asleep till morning. Because what Ianto did to him in bed, Jack could not keep quiet.

Ianto pulled Jack close to him "Jack, I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, Tiger."

Ianto smiled "Why do you keep calling me that?"

"Thought I'd have a pet name for you. Sappy isn't usually my thing but…"

"Hmmm, I know the feeling but why Tiger?"

"You only _wear_ sheep's clothing."

"Then shouldn't I be Wolf?"

"Nah, you're more seductive than a wolf."

Ianto began to loosen Jack's tie "I like it and I think I will call you Stallion because you are one."

Jack grinned "I do prance a bit don't I?"

"Oh yes but also because of this" Ianto placed a hand on Jack's crotch "I swear you're part horse."

"I don't know, I keep meaning to look up my family tree."

Ianto kissed Jack lightly "I want you."

Jack rubbed their noses together "I'm yours."

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Jack loved it when Ianto took charge, it thrilled him so. Ianto shoved Jack against the wall and ravished his mouth. Jack let out a moan of pleasure "Mhmm." Ianto tasted of chocolate, coffee and something uniquely Ianto. Jack kept his hands on Ianto's bum, grinding their groins together. The Welshman's hands began to wander, one hand massaged Jack's left nipple through his shirt, the other moved to Jack's trouser zipper, all the while keeping their mouths attached. Ianto suddenly pulled away.

"Sir, I do believe there are entirely too many clothes between us" they were both breathing heavily.

Jack's eyes fell to the large bulge in Ianto's trousers and licked his lips "I do believe you're right."

Ianto drew his fingers across Jack's chest and then pulled the stopwatch from his own vest pocket "race you?" he grinned slyly.

"Oh ho ho, you're gonna make me work for it aren't you?"

"Indeed" Ianto moved to the nightstand and pulled something out of the drawer "I got a new flavour" it was a tube of lubricant. "It's supposed to smell like mocha and cause a pleasant tingling sensation."

"Sounds good" Jack said lustily "say when."

"When," Ianto clicked the button.

They divested of their clothes quickly, Jack winning by a couple of seconds because Ianto didn't believe in haphazardly throwing his clothes about the room.

Ianto put his hands on Jack's chest and began rolling his nipples between both his forefingers and thumbs while pushing him back against the wall. Jack put his hands on Ianto's waist "Oh, Tiger how long will you tease me?"

Ianto smiled, still intent on Jack's nipples "As long as you can take it, Stallion."

Jack threw his head back and thrust his cock at Ianto's "I can take it for days but can you?"

Ianto allowed their hard cocks to rub together ever so lightly, Jack's mini captain always enjoyed the flirting of Ianto's little archivist (who wasn't so little). Ianto kissed Jack's neck "I would love to give you a run for your money but we don't exactly live here alone and there's this thing called work." Ianto removed his fingers from Jack's left nipple and replaced it with his tongue. With his now free hand he began fingering the mini captain's two lieutenants. Ianto then moved his tongue to Jack's other nipple and Jack was pulsating in at least three, no four different places. Ah, hell he was losing count. Then Ianto straightened up, his hands on Jack's shoulders and brought their lips together.

The little archivist rubbed harder against the mini captain. Jack and Ianto let out simultaneous moans and groans. Jack's knees shook and Ianto gently pulled him away from the wall and pushed him down on the bed. Once Jack was flat on his back, Ianto began to plant feather light kisses down his body. It was torture.

"Oh, Ianto will you suck my fucking cock already and fuck me into next Tuesday!"

Ianto chuckled "Patience my Stallion, patience. All in good time, Cariad."

This sent pleasant shivers down Jack's spine, Ianto had only called him that once before, 'Cariad'—Welsh for 'sweetheart' and in some circles it also meant 'my love' And Ianto was his. Jack didn't have much more time to think because soon he was writhing and moaning beneath Ianto and his delectable lips and tongue. The Welshman's feather kisses had become licking, nipping and sucking up and down Jack's body but always avoiding Jack's fully hard and erect cock.

"Oh, you evil, evil Welshman" Jack managed to gasp out "Come on, Tiger"

Ianto grinned wickedly "Yes, yes I am." Whether he was saying yes to being evil or yes to being a tiger, Jack wasn't sure. Ianto then captured Jack's mouth in another searing kiss. Jack ran his hands down Ianto's back, pulling him closer, he needed them to be touching, touching so close he wouldn't know where he ended and Ianto began. But then Ianto pulled back and wrapped his hand around Jack's extremely neglected cock, if possible the mini captain stood at even fuller attention, as he was squeezed and rubbed by that delightful hand. Then Ianto slid down Jack's body, blue eyes crackling with lust. He started with an ever so light lick up the length of Jack's member. He licked again and again, slowly like he licked and ice cream cone when he wanted to torture Jack.

"Ianto," he moaned "you're killing me!"

Finally, Ianto placed his mouth around the mini captain. He started sucking slowly but then he went faster and faster. Jack wouldn't last much longer.

"Gonna be soon"

Ianto stopped and looked up at Jack "hold on a bit longer. I want you to come with me" he picked up the lube and put some on his own hard cock and fingers. Then he put two fingers inside Jack and began massaging, rubbing against his prostate.

"Oh, fuck, Ianto" Jack then lost all sense of what was coming out of his mouth. He didn't even notice if the lube did indeed smell like mocha but there was a tingling sensation, a very pleasant and fucking torturous tingling sensation. Finally, Ianto got between Jack's shaking knees and thrust inside him. Jack moaned in ecstasy, this was right, being with Ianto felt so right. Ianto took hold of Jack's cock and Jack placed his hands over Ianto's. Ianto began to move in and out rocking his hips. He moaned too and began shouting in Welsh as they reached climax. Jack came mere seconds before Ianto, stars before his eyes and his body coursing with orgasm.

When Jack's vision cleared, they were both breathing hard and much in the same position as they had been that fateful night in the warehouse. They were smiling at each other. Ianto moved off Jack and laid close next to him, draping his arm across his chest "Well? What do you think?"

Jack snaked his arm around Ianto's waist "What I always think after making love with you; fantastic." He breathed in and took in the scents of Ianto, their combined semen the wonderful scent of making love and, ah there was the mocha.

"Mmm" Ianto nuzzled Jack's neck "I meant the new lube but thank-you."

"Oh yeah, it smells great. Does it come in chocolate? Preferably dark?"

Ianto grinned at him "Yes actually and that's my line." He flicked Jack's right nipple and they both burst out laughing. Then they caught each other's eyes and fell into a deep kiss.

"I love you, Captain Jack Harkness."

"I love you too, Jones, Ianto Jones."

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

* * *

Two days later at the A.A. meeting, Jack and Ianto were surprised to see Gavin and Christopher. Gavin looked positively sheepish.

"What are you two doing here?" Ianto asked.

"Christopher, you don't drink" Jack said.

"That's right, I don't" Christopher nodded, he jerked a thumb at Gavin "but he does."

Ianto crossed his arms "I was going to say Gavin that you look like a hypocrite who's just realised he's a hypocrite."

"I don't want to hear it, Ifan."

Christopher sighed "I been working so much lately, I didn't realise till recently that Gav's been drinking everything he's been collecting from Ianto. And I didn't get how bad it was—"

Gavin interrupted "I was sacked okay!"

"For what?" Ianto and Jack chimed.

"One of my damn students reported me for having whiskey on my breath. Now can we just get this over with?" Gavin marched into the meeting room.

"Why don't you two wait out here?" Ianto said to Jack and Christopher "I think Gav and I will be fine by ourselves."

Jack put a hand on Ianto's arm "You sure?"

"Yeah"

….......................................................

Jack and Christopher sat on a bench outside.

"I think this runs in their family" Jack said

"Oh yeah?"

"Their grandfather Davies was an alcoholic. How long has this been going on with Gavin?"

Christopher put his face in his hands "God, I don't know. Damn job, I should have seen it sooner."

"How do you think I feel? I was gone for a month."

Christopher sat up "But I went home every night, near enough. I should have seen the signs."

"How would you have known?"

"My daddy's an alcoholic."

"He the reason for the cigarette burns on your hands?"

Christopher looked at him and sighed "You're lucky I don't feel like being sarcastic right now."

"Sorry"

Christopher shrugged "Let's talk about something else"

"Sure"

"They're filming a movie here in Cardiff, did you know that?"

"No I didn't."

"Yep, new Robin Chadwick film, well I guess it's Robin Cassidy now."

"Oh yeah, he got married didn't he?"

"To Jules Cassidy, I went to Quantico with him and one of his friends Sam Starrett is my cousin."

"No kidding?" Jack looked thoughtful for a moment "Hey, I know Special Agent Jules Cassidy, about four years ago or so…"

"Of course you have and I don't wanna hear it. Anyway, what I was getting at," Christopher looked around as if checking for eavesdroppers and he lowered his voice "when Robin gets here in a couple days he's gonna be staying with us whenever he's filming his scenes. He doesn't feel like a hotel."

"What about his husband?"

"Jules has a job, he and Robin can't go everywhere together. But this weekend he has some time and he's gonna fly over and visit. So we were wondering if you and Ianto want wanted to have dinner with the four of us?

Jack nodded "That sounds good. Ianto likes Robin, he has all his films. Hey, isn't he an alcoholic too?"

"Recovering, but don't worry. There's not going to be a drop of alcohol in our apartment."

"Flat"

"Shut up"

Jack took a breath "Anyway, I understand that you and Gavin are getting a civil partnership."

"That's right. I love him, Jack and I want to spend the rest of my life with him, despite all his faults."

"I didn't realise you were that serious."

Christopher shrugged "You weren't paying attention."

"I guess not. Why a civil partnership?"

"Well, I'll be getting my British citizenship soon and Gavin doesn't wanna move to Massachusetts. And I want the world to know that I love that Welshman."

"Then I guess congratulations are in order." Jack held out his hand "Congratulations, Christopher I'm happy for you."

Christopher grasped the offered hand "Thank-you, Jack."

…………

* * *

A few days later…

Ianto was getting lost in his coffee cup he was staring at it so much. He desperately needed a fix but he couldn't think of a good excuse to go up to the attic. He was also fighting with himself, he knew what he was doing was stupid. Ever since the day after Jack got home Ianto had been sneaking rum from the secret stash in the attic. He lied at the A.A. meeting, he told the group he hadn't had a drink in six days, the truth was it was about six hours. He never drank the rum straight though, he always had to disguise it and coat his mouth in breath spray after that so Jack wouldn't catch on. Ianto hoped Jack assumed Ianto was developing a fondness for constant fresh breath.

Nina set a plat of bacon and eggs on the table before him "You okay, Ianto?"

"What?" Ianto looked up at her

"You seem lost in thought"

"Oh, well," he thought quickly "I was just wondering if those mouse traps in the attic have worked yet."

"There was nothing when I checked an hour ago" Jeanie sat down with a cup of tea "I set down some more bait though but just so you know the traps won't kill the mice."

Nina poured some juice for the kids "She doesn't approve of murder"

Ianto blinked "But they're mice."

"Mice are very intelligent" Jeanie said.

"So are dolphins but you don't see them invading house and eating peoples' foods."

Nina sighed "It's too early to be arguing about mice" she inclined her head towards the ceiling "Jeesh, that brother of mine takes long showers."

Cory took a drink of juice "Jack is vain"

"Cory," Ianto began "actually that's true." He stood up "I'll check the traps again; you know Jack's terrified of mice."

…..............................

Jack bounced to the breakfast table to find someone missing "Good morning everyone, where's Ianto?"

"Checking the traps in the attic" Rini said.

Jeanie glanced at the ceiling "He's been up there over five minutes though. It doesn't take that long. He took his coffee cup with him too."

"I'll go check on him, maybe he ran into a spider." Jack made his way to the attic. He entered carefully and on his guard—mice were out to get him after all. About a second after he walked through the attic door and before he could call for Ianto he smelled the tell tale scent of rum. Oh no. Jack looked around the attic and walked towards the darkest corner "Ianto"

Ianto yelped and rum splashed on his trousers. "Hello Jack" he tried to put on an innocent face "look what I found."

Jack crossed his arms and just stared at him. He couldn't think of what to say he was so angry. Had Ianto been sneaking alcohol long? Was this why his breath had been constantly minty, because he was trying to cover it up?

Ianto stood up and set the rum down "I really did find it, last week, I mean it must have been here a long time because it's really strong. I can't help, I'm sorry. I tried to fight it Jack but it kept calling me. Jack, are you going to say anything?"

Jack felt himself snapping, Ianto had been lying to him, been hiding something from him…again. He grabbed Ianto's arm, maybe a bit more roughly than he meant to but he was furious. He pulled Ianto down the attic stairs and to the bed room.

"Jack aren't you going to say anything? Yell at me? Jack, you're hurting my arm."

Jack released Ianto so forcibly he fell on the bed.

Ianto's eyes were wide like a deer in headlights "I deserved that, taste of my own medicine. Lisa's brother is still out to get me." He sat up "I don't know what I'm saying anymore."

Jack took a few deep breaths "You've been lying to me Ifan" his voice came out in a whisper and he hadn't meant to call him Ifan.

Ianto's eyes went wider if that were possible, Jack had never called him that before. "I realise that and I'm sorry. I can't help it Jack, don't you understand I need it."

"You do not need it!" then an idea struck Jack, it was time to teach Ianto a lesson "don't move" he left the bedroom and went downstairs. "Jeanie, do have anything sonic?"

The Time Lady stared at him a second before answering "I have lipstick, why?"

"Can I borrow it real quick?"

"Why?

Jack took a breath "I caught Ianto drinking in the attic so I'm locking him in his room."

Cory nodded "I've been thinking of doing that but I don't know where the key is and Tad can break locks."

"Not if I lock the door and then use sonic lipstick." He blinked "_lipstick_?"

…..............................................

As Jack instructed Ianto didn't move, he was too afraid. He hadn't seen Jack this angry since the cyberwoman thing. Ianto now accepted that the woman he loved died at Canary Wharf.

Jack came storming back into the room and then pulled Ianto's box of possibly useful keys from under the bed. He dumped them on the floor "which one of these goes to the door?"

Ianto furrowed his brows "The bedroom door?"

"No the door to Alcatraz, yes the bedroom door!"

Ianto flinched, Jack wasn't often sarcastic. Ianto pointed to the right key "That gold one with the 'B' on it. Why?"

Jack picked it up "You're staying home today."

"What?" what was Jack getting at?

"I can't trust you right now."

"Are you locking me in here?"

"No Ianto, I'm sending you to Timbuktu, yes, I'm locking you in here!"

Ianto flinched again but he gathered what was left of his courage and stood "You can't do that"

"Watch me but not before I search the room." He began to tear around the room looking for Ianto assumed alcohol and making a mess.

"Jack, I don't have anything in here, I'm not that stupid. You're making a mess!"

"You'll have plenty of time to clean it up!" then Jack opened the night stand and Ianto suddenly remembered what he had put in there two weeks before. Oh hell. Jack pulled out the bag of marijuana. He held it up "What the hell is this?"

Ianto felt sweat gather at his temples "It's not what it looks like" his voice shook.

"Oh?" Jack's voice was deathly quiet "then what is it?"

Ianto swallowed "Oregano?"

Jack's free hand came up and landed hard on Ianto's cheek "Don't lie to me!"

Ianto put a hand to his cheek and sank on to the bed and found that he couldn't say anything.

Jack was breathing heavily "You will stay here. I'll send someone to check on you later."

Ianto ignored the stinging in his eyes "What makes you think I won't climb out the window?"

"Because the minute you don't answer when someone calls for you, they will tell me and I will find you."

Jack stormed out, slamming the door behind him. Ianto heard him lock the door and then heard some sort of whirring sound.

Ianto sighed "I didn't even eat my breakfast. Well at least there's a bathroom in here"

He glared at the mess Jack made and decided not clean it up. He went into the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet "I should slit my wrists, that'll show him. No that would stain, wouldn't it? Maybe if I OD on pills? No, I can't do that to the children." He sighed and went back to the bedroom. "I suppose I could listen to some music." A lot of his CDs were in the tower in the family room but there was a case he kept in the wardrobe. It contained music he really didn't want people knowing he ever listened to.

He flipped through the case "I hate 'Dancing Queen'!" Then he came across a mixed CD "I wonder what's on here?" he put it in the player.

_I'm a Barbie girl…_

Ianto stared at the player in horror "Oh God, I'm being punished aren't I?" The CD player in the bedroom was old, neither the skip or stop buttons worked. You had to let the CD play out on its own.

* * *

A little over an hour later…

Jack arrived back home. He had gotten to work after dropping the kids off at school, forty-five minutes in traffic _and_ four times around a roundabout and realised he handled Ianto the wrong way. He let Nina and Jeanie out, told them he was taking the day to take care of Ianto and turned the SUV around (they still hadn't gone car shopping and Anwen had taken hers back).

Jack walked up the stairs and heard loud music coming from their bedroom. All Jack could make out was that it was something about being blue. He first used the sonic lipstick and then the key to open the door. He found Ianto dancing and singing along. The mess Jack had made ransacking the room was still a mess.

…_with a blue corvette and everything is blue…_

Jack cleared his throat "Ianto?"

Ianto stopped dancing "Oh Jack, you're home. You're lucky you missed the first song even more annoying than Dancing Queen but it does tend to get stuck in your head. You know, I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world…oh and then there's this song. I think its called Blue or something. I'm not sure who sings it though, I wanna say 'NSync or Backstreet Boys. I never could tell them apart."

Jack opened his mouth to say something but the weird song ended and was replaced by a Cole Porter song of all things. It was "Friendship". "Quite the mix you have there."

"I know, I can't remember where I got it. I'm pretty sure I didn't make it."

Jack gently took Ianto in his arms "Are you okay? I'm sorry I was so rough on you."

"Is that why you came back so soon? Don't be sorry Jack I deserved it. I'm fine."

"I handled the situation the wrong way. We should talk this out, figure out why you think you need to drink."

Ianto rested his head on Jack's shoulder "I don't know and before you ask yes I took my medication, and no I didn't drink that much. I just felt like dancing like a lunatic."

"Well, I took the day off so we could talk."

"About what?"

"Anything and everything, I've been home practically a week and there's still some things I need to tell. First, can we shut that crap off?" the Cole Porter song had turned into some heavy metal shit.

"The stop button doesn't work"

"Then pull the plug"

"Oh yeah, why didn't I think of that?"

…

* * *

They moved down to the family room—with coffee of course.

"I wanna start," Jack began "with what I saw Hermes do."

"And what was that?"

"I saw your 'I don't swing that way' best friend having sex with Menelaus."

Ianto blinked "No way. Really? Hermes is always so adamant that he's straight."

"A little too adamant perhaps?"

"I guess. Well he did say it was something he didn't even tell his best friends."

"Looked like he was enjoying himself too till I accidentally interrupted. He wasn't very happy."

"Why do you suppose he pretends to be straight?"

"Who knows? He's your best friend, you ask him."

"Hmm, what else did you do there?"

"Well, Hercules and I got eaten by a sea monster."

"What?"

"Long story, I'll tell you about it later. I've got something more important to talk to you about."

Ianto laid his head on Jack's chest "Okay."

"Well, Rini isn't the only child I've had…"

And Jack told him about his wife Rhea Silva and their son, Freddy in the thirties, what happened to Freddy in Korea. He told him about Alice and her mother, about Steven. Jack also told him about his son, Nick.

"And Nick's about your age. Does that unnerve you at all?" for that was what Jack was worried about in telling Ianto all this.

Ianto sat up and looked in the eyes "Why would it? I know how old you are, Jack. I assumed you might have other children and even grandchildren. I love you, your past doesn't bother me. The man you are now is who I fell in love with."

Jack put a hand behind Ianto's neck and brought their lips together "I love you too."

* * *

That night…

Ianto did up Jack's tie "You don't have to wear this, you know."

"I want to. Is there some law against wanting to show off my partner's talent to a celebrity?"

"No but I imagine there is against showing off _your _talent." Ianto smirked.

"Ianto."

"Anyway Jack, I'm not that good."

"You are so, don't be so modest." Jack gently touched Ianto's cheek "still red, does it still hurt?"

"It stopped awhile ago." _Okay, it's throbbing slightly but I'm a stubborn idiot._

"Oh Tiger, did I really hit you that hard?"

"It's okay, I deserved it."

"Don't talk like that."

"But I did, I lied to you."

"I still shouldn't have hit you. Your brother's going to wonder why your cheek's red and I think a bruise is forming. I'm sorry Tiger."

"S'okay Stallion, but you're right, Gavin will notice."

"We should be honest before he accuses me of hitting you. And as an alcoholic I hear it's good therapy to admit your mistakes to those who support you."

"I know, I know but if you wanna tell my brother you hit me it's your funeral."

"I can't die"

"Fair point and we won't be telling them what I was listening to today. Although as surprising as it sounds Gavin hates boy bands, thinks they're cheesy and he has the same taste in music as you."

"Then what does he see in Christopher? Christopher likes that country pop stuff."

"Anyway, it might be fun to get a 'Nsync song stuck in Gavin's head, he hates them the most even though Lance Bass hot and gay."

"Yeah I have no idea what you're talking about. Let's get going, we don't wanna be late."

…..

* * *

Gavin paced the length of his and Christopher's living room. Ianto and Jack would be there any minute and Robin, the film star was trapped in the bathroom. The doorknob had come off in his hand and the one on the other side had fallen too. Christopher and Jules were trying to get him out. It seemed though that U.N.I.T and FBI agents weren't trained in basic home repair. Neither were maths teachers.

"Gentlemen," he stepped into the hall "if you just wait till my brother gets here he can open it. He's quite good at picking locks. I'm not proud of it" he added when Jules looked at him.

"What was that?" Robin asked from behind the door.

"Gavin's brother can pick the lock" Christopher told him.

"Oh great" Robin said "is he like a locksmith?"

Gavin laughed and got closer to the door "Though he does posses the skills to be like a locksmith, he isn't one. He's just a former punk." Right then the door bell rang "speak of the devil."

Gavin made his way to the front door and sure enough Ianto and Jack were there. There was a bruise forming on Ianto's cheek that Gavin would question later. But by way of greeting Gavin just stood back and let them in. "Ianto, we need your skill, Robin's trapped in the loo, doorknob broke" he led them to the hall where Christopher and Jules still stood. "Jules, my brother Ianto and his—"

Jack grinned "Special Agent Cassidy as I live and breathe." He made the 'special agent' sound sexual. Jules had told them about his brief tryst with Jack a few years before.

Jules nodded "Captain Harkness" he shook Ianto's hand "nice to meet you Ianto."

"And you Agent Cassidy. I've heard nothing but good things about you and Robin from Christopher."

"Call me Jules and thanks," he added to Christopher, then turned back to Ianto "Your brother has been speaking highly of you."

"Really? I don't deserve it."

"Wow" said Robin's voice "he sounds really polite. Hi Ianto, hi Jack, I'm Robin."

Ianto glanced at the hole in the door where the knobs used to be but the bolt still was "A great pleasure sir. Don't worry, I'll have you out of there in a tick, Mr er…Mr…what should I call you?"

"You should call me Robin. But it is Cassidy now, I know it's confusing 'cause they haven't changed my name in the credits yet."

Ianto turned to Gavin "Just out of curiosity Gav, you will be sticking with Jones, right?"

Gavin crossed his arms "I'll let you know, now get him out of there."

"Okay, Robin, I have to ask you to stand back."

"I'm standing back. This happens to me a lot."

Then in a Fronzie like move Ianto balled his fist and whacked a spot just above the hole. The bolt popped out and the door swung open.

Robin stepped out, neon blue eyes shining with apparent amusement at himself "thank-you. You must be Ianto." He shook Ianto's hand warmly

"If I'm not then he's going to be very upset that I'm wearing his underwear and your welcome."

Robin smiled "He's funny too" then he held out his hand to Jack "and you're Jack."

"Last time I checked" Jack smiled "hello" he shook Robin's hand.

"Wow, Jules, babe, I so don't blame you for cheating on Adam with this guy. He's hot."

Jules closed his eyes as if embarrassed "Robin"

"Oh was I not suppose to say that?" Robin looked between Jack and Ianto.

For Jack's part he looked a little sheepish "I haven't told Ianto about Jules yet."

Robin went red with embarrassment "Oh I'm sorry."

Ianto shrugged "It's okay. I've learned not to ask nor care; less headaches that way. Why are we all still in the hallway?"

Suddenly Christopher burst out laughing, normally Gavin enjoyed his rich Southern laugh but wasn't this a touch out of context? "Christopher?"

"I'm sorry, it's just—so funny" he sank to the floor.

"You handle something weird at work today Christopher?" Jack asked.

For some reason this made Christopher laugh harder "I just realised—Jack, you've slept with three of the men in here—four if you count yourself."

"I'm not _that_ flexible."

…

* * *

After Christopher had gotten a hold of himself the six of them moved to the living room.

"I'll get us some coffee" Gavin said while everyone sat down. When he returned with the coffee and set it down on the coffee table he said "Ianto, do you know what our beloved brother Gwillym did to me the morning of Robin's arrival?"

Ianto was silent for a moment and then snapped his fingers "Tied you to a chair while he searched the premises for anything with so much as the teensiest amount of alcohol."

"Yep" Gavin sat next to Christopher "it wasn't pleasant."

"Been there done that. I can make you a t-shirt too if you like." Then he said to Robin and Jules "we have a very involved family."

"I think that's wonderful" Robin said "everyone should be that lucky."

Jules took Robin's hand "How many brothers and sisters to you two have?" he asked Gavin and Ianto.

They looked at each other and said in unison "Ten including us."

"Whoa," Robin whistled "your parents were busy."

"Seven of us boys and three girls. Ianto's the baby."

"Wow. Hey, I just thought of something. Is one of your brothers named Drystan?"

Ianto shuddered "Sorry, I saw part of one of his films. What was it called again Jack?"

Jack laughed "Tumble for Three in the Jungle. Now, that was a night to remember, see I had my—" he was cut off by Ianto jabbing him in the ribs.

"Yep. When I realised it was him I had Jack shut it off. Never again, I'm scarred for life."

"I bet" Robin said "if I saw my sister in one of those movies, I'd just die."

"But yeah, Drys is our brother, why?" Gavin said to Robin.

"Oh well, now I don't know if I should tell you. He might wanna tell you himself."

"Tell us," Gavin and Ianto leaned forward.

"Okay," Robin shrugged "He was just cast as the other lead in the movie."

Ianto and Gavin looked at each other then at Robin "No fucking way"

"Yes fucking way. I met him today at the read through. He's a great guy and he was fantastic at reading the part. It helps that he's hot."

Gavin ran a hand through his hair "Well, he has been doing some TV shows lately."

"Really?" Ianto asked.

"Yeah, he hasn't done porn in a few years Ianto."

Ianto leaned against Jack "Boy have I been out of touch with this family."

….......................

Just as Jack was about to put his arm around Ianto he stood up "Our brother's going to be in a film."

"I know" Gavin stood too "he's going to be a film star"

And then they started talking excitably in Welsh and Jack lost them.

Christopher looked at him and Jack shrugged "Don't ask me when they start talking like a couple of school girls." He said that last bit loudly but it didn't faze them. They just kept babbling.

Robin giggled a little "They are so cute, they're like twins."

That got the Jones brothers to shut up. They both looked at Robin with matching Ifan Davies glares of death. Jack was surprised Robin didn't drop dead right there.

"What did he just call us?" Gavin said to Ianto.

"He said we were cute and like twins. What's Latin for murdering a celebrity?"

Robin was finally withering under the double death glare for his pearly smile faded and he clutched at Jules hand tighter.

"You two are kidding right?" Jules said seemingly unfazed by the evil Welsh looks of doom. He stared them down with a look that said 'hurt my partner and no one will find your bodies.'

Jack and Christopher both shot Jules looks that said the FBI was nothing compared to them, pipsqueak. Jules was the shortest one in the room.

Then the brothers broke out in identical grins and started laughing.

"Just kidding, Robin" Ianto said "we get that a lot."

Gavin put a hand on Ianto's shoulder "ever since Ianto was tall enough."

Robin breathed a sigh of relief "Wow. You guys were pretty convincing."

"It's what we do" Ianto sat back down.

"Our family's quirky, what can we say?" Gavin sat too and Jack and Christopher both snorted.

"Understatement of the century" Jack muttered. Ianto jabbed him in the ribs again.

"Anyway," Gavin said "You know what I feel like? A tequila sunrise."

Christopher put an arm around him "Funny, you don't look like one."

Robin bit back a giggle.

"There's some agaves syrup in the cupboard" Christopher added "and I bet we can find some maggots in the ground."

"Not what I meant" Gavin mumbled.

"Tough it out, sugah."

Jack put his arm around Ianto "I've found it helps to drink a tall glass of water whenever I felt the need for a drink."

Everyone looked at him and Ianto said "What?"

Jack took a breath "It was a difficult and confusing time in my life. Not something I like to think about."

"You never told me that" Ianto said.

"I've never told anyone that."

"What made you stop drinking?" Robin asked.

Jack took another breath "I hit rock bottom and I realised that my life was going nowhere. I got a job where I always had to be on my game. I forced myself to stop, I was also ashamed of how I acted when drunk. I knew I needed to change." It was the truth sans the Torchwood and waiting for the Doctor details of course. Jack normally didn't talk about his past but lately he figured maybe it wasn't such a bad thing as long as he avoided topics like the future.

Ianto snaked his arm around Jack's waist "So you've been there too. No wonder you were so upset with me."

Gavin's head snapped up "Is that why there's a bruise on your cheek? What happened? Harkness, if you've hit my baby brother…"

Jack withered under Gavin's glare, which was oddly more frightening than Ianto's. Though Ianto had the stormy blue eyes of their grandfather, Gavin possessed the flashing brown of their father. Cadfael Jones Sr. never much cared for Jack. He swallowed "Ianto tiger, I think it's time we tell them what happened."

Ianto took a breath "Gavin, you'll want to hit me too after you hear this" Ianto looked around at everyone "I guess it started something like two weeks ago when I found this bag of stuff in a box…"

Ianto told the story of finding the marijuana and forgetting about putting it in the nightstand. He was quick to add he hadn't touched it since because Gavin turned the death glare on him and said something sharp in Welsh which made Ianto flinch. Then Ianto went into how he found the rum. He of course threw in 'it doesn't help that I'm bipolar' probably as a sympathy play. Finally, he got to this morning.

"I was so furious when I found him up there" Jack interjected "I guess I just lost it."

"…so he held up the bag and said 'what is this?' and I said 'It's not what it looks like' and he said 'oh then what is it?' and I said 'oregano'."

"That's when I hit him. I just snapped" Jack interlaced his fingers with Ianto's "I locked him in our room but when I got to work I realised I handled things the wrong way so I turned around."

"Absolutely right Ifan," Gavin said when the story was finished "I would have hit you."

"I deserved it" Ianto said quietly.

"Stop saying that" Jack admonished him "I shouldn't have been so rough with you."

"You know though" Robin said "it's so hard to stop drinking sometimes a little tough love is the only way to get through to someone. And sometimes it gets so bad for me I wish Jules would lock me in our room. I don't want him to hit me though. Jules is really strong."

"I'd never hit you, sweetie" Jules said "and for the record, I think you could take it. You're really strong too."

……….

* * *

Later that night as Jack and Ianto were in the shower….

"It really was fun tonight," Jack said as he lathered up Ianto's back with soap.

"Yeah," Ianto agreed "once the tension faded, especially when you made those mocktails. What made you decide to mix 7-Up, grape juice and orange juice and call it a Tropical Storm?"

"Sarah taught me that actually. She said everyone probably thinks of the combination at least once in their lives and she didn't care if the name's already been taken."

Ianto couldn't help but smile "She certainly was something else."

"She sure was. So, you gonna take Robin up on his suggestion?"

Ianto sighed and turned around to face him "I think you have to have some sort of degree to be assistant costume designer."

"I don't know, sometimes I think all you need is talent and of course connections. You have both. You're friends with one of the stars and brothers with the other."

"That would be cheating."

"Well if you wanna go to fashion school, I'm not stopping you. Ianto, the film takes place in the forties, it's perfect—"

"Maybe you should apply for creative consultant then," Ianto blinked water out of his eyes. "Jack cariad, I already have a job."

Jack swallowed "Yes I know but…"

"But what?"

"Ianto, now I'm just asking right now, suggesting, but I think it'd be wise if you took a leave of absence."

"What?" Ianto stepped back and nearly slipped. Jack caught him.

"I'm saying if you wanna continue working for Torchwood you need to be at the top of your game one hundred percent. More importantly I wanna keep you around for awhile, I need you to be healthy. And right now you're not."

Ianto knew Jack was right but it didn't make him feel better. "But Jack in the past year I've already had loads of time off, those four weeks you suspended me, that week you gave me to take care of Cory and recently those few days Owen gave me,"

"Ianto I know that and I know you think it isn't fair to the others but those four weeks I'll remind you were punishment and you didn't get paid."

Ianto crossed his arms "I'm aware of that," he sighed "How long would this leave of absence be?"

"Until you're better, until you have better control over your addiction." Jack took a breath, "and if it gets to a point where rehab is the only option…" he trailed off, implication clear "but I don't want it to come to that. Ianto, I'm scared I might lose you too soon and it isn't just me who's worried about you and wants you around for a long time. Think of the kids."

Ianto uncrossed his arms and looked at the tub floor "I know, I have. I didn't tell you when we were talking today because I didn't want to worry you more. Just after you left this morning I thought just for a few seconds that I would kill myself, slit my wrists but then I thought that it would stain. Then I thought about overdosing on pills but I remembered the children. I couldn't do that to them or to you even though I was angry with you."

"Ianto" Jack put his arms around him.

"I'm scared too and I want help Jack, I want to stop drinking but I don't know if I can."

"You can, Ianto. You just have to really want it. I know you can do this, just don't be afraid to talk to me."

* * *

**Okay, I think we can end the chapter there. 27 pages people, well including the long author's note at the top. Remember, reviews make me happy.**

_**Next time of "Not Unbreakable"…**_

_**During Ianto's leave of absence he gets really bored, so there is some rearranging of furniture and he decides they have to renovate the basement and attic. He also takes up some other hobbies in addition to sewing. Meanwhile, big trouble with teeth is brewing in the Atlantic which causes Jack to dredge up memories he could live without.**_

**Now, I don't think Ianto will take that assistant costume designer job, unless you all think he should but that would be more work for me. If you're interested, the movie they're filming that I made up, does in fact take place during WWII and is about the dangerous and at the time forbidden love between an American pilot or Army doctor stationed in Cardiff (haven't decided yet) and a Welsh soldier. Hey now, that would make a good movie. Okay, I claim the idea, I'll be the one to tell Hollywood ;)**

**TTFN**


	34. Untitled

**PLEASE READ NOTE!!! VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION!!!**

**Okay, gang, I know I said that this chapter would have the Megalodon thing in it but it only introduces it. I was working on it but my brain exploded. Not literally of course, but with 4 fanfictions going on I was on Janto overload. That might sound like fun but they get on your nerves after awhile especially if you're trying to work on something that could actually make you money. So, I'm sorry but I'll be taking a break from all 4 of my Janto fics for awhile. I need to work on my original fiction and find a job to help pay the bills. I'm NOT quitting though. I WILL be back, just bear with me. At the bottom you will fins previews of what I intend on happening in future chapters of "Not Unbreakable."**

**This chapter does answer some questions some of you might have, at least I hope it does.**

* * *

Jack and Ianto emerged from their bathroom to find a certain someone sitting on their bed.

Ianto closed his robe more tightly around him, "Hermes, what are you doing here?"

The Olympian smiled, "Annoying you apparently. But mainly to return this." He held up a short sword that appeared to be bronze and of Greek design.

Jack stepped forward and took hold of it "My sword, I thought I lost it in that sea monster."

Hermes stood, "It washed ashore a couple days after you left. Men asked me to return it to you."

Ianto blinked, "Which men?"

"Short for Menelaus" Jack explained, "I told you he gave me a sword."

"Oh," that made sense; Hermes did like to shorten names to one syllable—bloody annoying if you asked Ianto.

"So Jack," Hermes said "long time no see, sort of, in a way, more or less" he sighed "see, this is why I hate time travel. It gets confusing."

Jack lifted his sword, "Was Agamemnon upset when his scientist vanished?"

Hermes took a step back, "Put that down before you put someone's eye out. Ares will give you lessons if you want. And upset is an understatement."

Jack leaned the sword in a corner, "That'd be great. Is there anything else?"

Ianto had taken a seat on the bed, "There's always something else."

Hermes took a breath and looked at him—there was something in his golden eyes Ianto couldn't quite decipher, "That bruise should fade in about a week or so and you'll probably wanna put ice on it in the morning." Behind him, Jack winced. "Don't feel so guilty Jack, I think just about anyone would have hit him." Hermes didn't even turn his head. "Personally," he said to Ianto "I think you should go to rehab."

Ianto crossed his arms, "I don't think it'll come to that."

Jack sat next to him, "There's another A.A. meeting tomorrow."

"Why?" Hermes asked, "The first one didn't work. Besides A.A. is so non-secular."

Ianto looked at Jack, "I really don't like the way they do things. They are awfully religious. Gavin and I were talking about it and there're some secular programmes out there. I don't want to have to rely on some higher power to help me."

"Should I be insulted?" Hermes said "But anyway, it is a good point. Higher Powers help those who help themselves. You have mountains so you can learn to climb."

"All right," Jack nodded, "if you think that'll be more help. I agree anyway, being a non-religious person such as myself. I used to be atheist but I suppose that'd be like ignoring a pink elephant in the corner."

Ianto scooted back on the bed, "But there is a pink elephant in the corner" he pointed to the corner closest to the door. It looked like a toy but Ianto wasn't too sure about his sanity these days "isn't there?"

Hermes picked it up and started laughing, "That never happens."

Jack stood, "It's Rini's. Can't imagine what it's doing in here," he took hold of it "I'll give it back to her. And Hermes if I could have a word with you in private?"

As curious as Ianto was, he decided not to spy on them. He really didn't want to get Jack upset again. Although they probably were going to talk about him—hmm, maybe he'd risk it.

……

As Jack requested Hermes waited in the kitchen. Why it seemed that humans always liked to have private conversations in the kitchen was beyond him. Of course the main question was what did Jack want to talk to him about without the presence of Ianto?

Jack entered the kitchen a few minutes later "Sorry about that, Rini wanted a song."

Hermes shrugged, "So what's up?" he leaned against the fridge.

Jack leaned against the counter across from him, "Why is Ianto so special?"

Hermes blinked and nearly choked on his own saliva, "Beg pardon?"

Jack sighed, "Perhaps I should be more clear; if the gods think Ianto is special enough to assign you to look after him why is he an alcoholic? He told me he met Gwyddion before he joined Torchwood but you were already in his life."

Hermes rubbed his temples and took a breath, "Ianto's grandmother Kylia requested Gwyddion talk to him—I wasn't doing any good after all."

"Then why did they assign you?"

Hermes sank to the floor and looked up at Jack, "They didn't, if they had I would be considered a spirit guide and wouldn't exactly be corporeal."

"Then why are you in his life? If you don't have to—" Jack blinked realisation clearly dawning in his eyes, "You know, when I caught you with Menelaus I was thinking you denied swinging that way too much and that you seemed to care for Ianto an awfully lot but I lost my train of thought when you grabbed me. Sometimes the way you look at him—you love him don't you?"

Hermes sighed deeply, "Our Sweetness was beginning to wonder when you were going to call me on that."

"You do love him."

"Sarah as you knew her is my Soulmate but before you and she came along I knew and loved Ianto in his first life. Yes, I still love him, been checking in on him in each of his lives since. I haven't always approached him."

Jack sank to the floor too, "You love Ianto and Sarah?"

"Jack, it's possible to be in love with more than one person at once. You see there's you're Soulmate, capital S, one word, the one you're meant to be with throughout eternity even if you don't share each life with them. Ianto is yours. Then there are soul mates, little s, two words, people who make repeat appearances in your lives, they can be called soul brothers and sisters or soul friends—sometimes you fall in love with one of them. For instance I'm quite certain in one of your past lives you were with an incarnation of Gwen. As I said Ianto's on his last life."

"Does Ianto know any of this?"

"No. I was the one who found him in Splott and I told him that because we were friends in his first live I chose to look after him but I made him forget."

"Why?" but it wasn't Jack who said that. Ianto was standing outside the kitchen window.

Hermes stood up quickly, he should have known Ianto would listen in; he opened his mouth to say something but found his voice had run and hid.

Jack stood too, "Ianto, what're you doing out there?" he opened the back door and Ianto came in thunder clouds in his eyes. Hermes had to wonder if he looked would he find Zeus some where in Ianto's ancestry? Because, in his first life his eyes weren't that stormy.

Ianto's arms were crossed as he glared lightning at Hermes, "You've been lying to me?"

Hermes swallowed, he never could disobey eyes like that "Not about everything and anyway it's a hard habit to break."

"Why did you make me forget what you told me?"

"You were so drunk you wouldn't have remembered much anyway."

"Can you undo it?"

"Undo it? Of course I can but—"

"Then undo it," Ianto's eyes flashed.

"Fine," Hermes made his staff appear and waved it over Ianto, "have it your way."

Ianto stumbled and put a hand to his head, "Oh. Oh, I'm sorry" he looked at Jack "Jack, I'm sorry."

Jack blinked, "Why are you apologising to me?"

Hermes took a breath, "I think that's my cue. Ianto, if you want to talk, call me. Just say my name, you don't have to dial."

…

The next morning…

Jack came down to the living room to find Ianto in the recliner reading the newspaper. He came up behind him and kissed his neck, "Hey, you know I'm not upset with you. I really wouldn't have minded—much, in fact I wouldn't say to no to a threesome with Hermes."

Ianto turned his head and kissed Jack back, "I know; I'm just tired this morning."

They spoke quietly because the kids were watching cartoons—it was a Saturday morning after all.

"Breakfast is ready," Nina called "turn off the cartoons and put down the paper."

"How's your cheek?" Jack asked Ianto as they made their way to the breakfast table.

"Throbbing a bit, actually."

Jack winced, "I'm sorry."

"Stop apologising. I'll put some ice on it after breakfast. Tomorrow by the way, I think it's our turn to fix breakfast as much as I enjoy Nina and Jeanie's cooking."

Jack laughed, "I agree."

…

Once everyone had food in front of them, Jack asked Ianto "anything interesting in the paper?"

"So far not really," Ianto shrugged "unless you find a new communications cable across the Atlantic interesting."

A strange look passed over Jack's face, "I might, who's laying it?"

"Apex Communications I believe—"

Jack shot up and ran back to the living room, everyone stared after him curiously. About two minutes later he shouted, "I don't fucking believe it!"

Ianto stood and went after him; he'd never heard Jack say that word outside of sex before. "Something wrong, Jack?"

Jack put down the paper, "Maybe, I don't know." He looked at Ianto, eyes quavering "are there any deep water trenches around here?"

Ianto thought this was an unusual question, "No, why? What does that have to do with anything?"

Jack sighed, "Apex Communications, I've dealt with them before. You up to going car shopping today?"

Whatever experience he had with Apex Communications and clearly deep water trenches Jack obviously wasn't up to discussing it right now. Taking yesterday into consideration Ianto decided not to argue. Jack would tell him if and when he felt Ianto needed to know. "Yeah, of course. We have time. Shall we get back to breakfast?"

"You go on, I'm not hungry anymore. I think I'll go lie down for awhile." With that Jack kissed his cheek and headed up the stairs.

Despite Ianto's intense curiosity, he went back to the breakfast table, leaving Jack alone.

…

Jack thought he'd call his buddy Chuck in Mexico to see if he knew anything about what Apex Communications was doing in the UK. But Chuck had quit the company during the Megalodon incident and likely wasn't paying attention. Besides Jack hadn't spoken to him since 2002 right before Jack left Mexico to return to Cardiff and Chuck didn't know who he really was. The retired and extremely decorated US Navy officer wasn't home anyway.

Maybe it wasn't the same Apex Communications, Cat had seen the CEO get eaten, or rather drive his Jet Ski into the shark. If he had been an alien as was suspected he could have used a teleport to escape—if he wasn't chewed that is. Jack never found out if aliens were behind the Apex communication cable plan through. He figured that Megalodon thing was the end of it, so he went home—after a couple of fun weeks with Cat. Once she had warmed up she was great.

Early in 2002 Torchwood had gotten suspicious of Apex Communications and their plans, especially of the cable they planned to lay across the Atlantic connecting the US East Coast to the UK. So despite Jack having only a crew of two at the time Torchwood London had gotten the Queen's okay to send _him_ to investigate. It was after all to protect the Crown. Not one to disobey Her Majesty, Jack travelled to Colima, Mexico (the central location of the suspicious activity) and went undercover under the alias of Ben Carpenter. He got a job patrolling the waters off the Playa Del Rey resort. It was nice actually pretending to be someone else. He didn't see any signs of alien activity so he thought he'd milk it for all its worth. He deserved a vacation. Besides he figured the incarnation of the Doctor he could actually approach wouldn't show up till after 2006.

It was when he saw that underwater cable and found that shark tooth he started to get concerned—especially when he couldn't match the tooth to a known shark.

Ianto coming into the bedroom brought Jack out of his thoughts. The right side of his face was red over the bruise as if he'd just had ice on it. "You okay, Stallion?"

Jack stood up, "For the moment. How about you?" he indicated Ianto's cheek "I can't believe I hit you that hard with my left hand."

Ianto smiled slightly, "You should see Gwill's left hook."

Jack rubbed his own cheek, "Yeah, I'm familiar with your brother's left hook."

Ianto cocked his head and arched an eyebrow, "Interesting. I'm numb for the moment. So whenever you're ready…"

Jack nodded, "Whenever you are. Know what you want? It's going to be your car."

"Well, despite that it needs to fit six, so no sedans. I never want a sedan again. And I'd like it to be red. Other than that I'm open minded."

…TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

Open minded? Ha, open minded Jack's shiny white arse. If possible Ianto was more particular about cars than coffee. In the end Ianto decided it would be easier to look at the various manufacturers' websites and order one from there. Ianto's pickiness wasn't the only reason the day was harrowing. Because it was clear they were a couple everyone upon seeing Ianto's bruise looked at Jack with accusatory stares that said 'you're the kind of abuser that buys large gifts to make up for it'. Because Jack made it clear that the car was for Ianto. Either that or they were staring at his clothes. Jack may have felt a little paranoid today.

That night once Ianto was asleep, Jack decided to run a check on Apex Communications like the bear that went over the mountain, just to see what he could see.

* * *

**Okay, so there you are, the intro to the possible shark problem. **

**QUESTION: What kind of car should Ianto get? It needs to fit six, be red and most importantly available in the UK. We must be somewhat realistic about this.**

**PREVIEWS:**

_**Coming up on "Not Unbreakable" you might just see this:**_

_Nina held onto Jack's hand as his eyes snapped open and he screamed in agony "I'm right here, baby brother, don't worry. Hush, it'll be all right. Hey, remember the lullaby Dad used to sing? Hush little baby don't say word, Papa's going to but you a mocking bird…"_

_And this…_

"_You know, it's weird, Dad had very 20__th__ century morals. I think that's why Mom cheated on him. Frankie, you did know Gray's only our half brother, right?"_

_Jack's eyes went wide "What?"_

_And this…_

_Ianto took a sip of the coffee "I actually like it here, Jack. My counsellor, Theodore Jackson is great, he's from Illinois and he was a pilot with the U.S. during World War II."_

"_No kidding? And he's still working?"_

"_Yep, he says he won't retire till he dies, very spry for a man in his eighties. Anyway, you know what else? He knew Grandfather Ifan."_

"_Did he?"_

"_Yep, you wanna know the really interesting bit? You look just like Ted."_

_And this… _

"_My memories have been fucked with so many times, I have no idea what's real anymore."_

_And this…_

"_Jeanie!"_

"_Yes, Jack?"_

"_I need you to use your TARDIS computers to find someone for me."_

"_Okay, who?"_

"_Iseult Jones, born May 15__th__ 1949, vanished September 20__th__ 1985. Check every witness protection list there is. I've tried but Torchwood apparently doesn't have access to everything."_

_And possibly this…_

_Ifan stared at the device in his hands for several moments before coming to a decision. It would supposedly take three days for the device to recharge enough for him to return but it didn't matter. He punched in the date he wanted, twenty-five years was a good number. He just needed to see how his family, his grandchildren would turn out before he died._

**Yes, I am evil aren't I? I'm really sorry but I do need a break. Jack and Ianto have worn me out. Hopefully these tidbits will tide you over till I update again. I'm not sure how long that will be, knowing me, probably not very long. So, sit tight. I really do appreciate all of you who read, alert and review. Thank-you so much.**

**Oh, and though I'm taking a break from my own fan fiction I am betaing for JB Minuet. Please check out "Not So Happily Ever After." It works with canon in that it's about Jack's healing process after COE. I know that's probably not something a lot of you would normally read but please check it out and leave a review if you like it. Thank-you.**

**TTFN**

**LadyA**


	35. Megalodon Pt One

**Happy Holidays everyone! I decided to take a break from my break and update "Not Unbreakable" as a winter holiday present for you all. I hope you like it.**

**There is a scene in here that's reminiscent of a scene in "Black and Lupin: School Days"; I don't know how it happened but it did. So, if you by chance read "School Days" too, be on the look out for it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own "Shark Attack 3: Megalodon." Well, actually I do, it's on my shelf. Hehe. You know what mean. Also, I don't know much about sharks in British waters, I imagine they exist because they're pretty much everywhere. I will check and fix it later on if I have to. For now, let's pretend.**

**

* * *

  
**

Megalodon

Part I

Ianto woke up to the lack of Jack's presence in bed next to him. He turned over to see Jack across the room at the computer in the dark. Ianto yawned, "They say that's bad for your eyes."

"They don't know about me," but there was no humour in his voice.

Ianto got out of bed and walked over to him, "Are you planning on coming to bed sometime soon?"

Jack turned in the chair and looked up at him, "I'm sorry, did I wake you? Was I making noise?"

"Quiet as a mouse. You not next to me is what woke me."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Tiger. I just need to figure this out," Jack turned back to the computer. It looked like he had hacked into Apex Communications' private files.

Ianto looked over his shoulder but didn't see anything that warranted suspicion, "This really has you worried, doesn't it?"

Jack punched a few keys, "You don't know what they did."

"Thank-you, Captain Obvious," Ianto yawned again and thought about what he just said, "I'm sorry, I don't know why I called you that."

Jack chuckled, "No, it's okay. I guess I deserved that."

"I mean because, there are a lot of things you can be quite oblivious to so I don't think you quite qualify as captain. Maybe _Fusilier_ Obvious."

"Now, you're just being mean," but there was a smile on his face. "At least make me an officer."

"Okay, okay, second lieutenant."

Jack laughed and snaked his arm around Ianto's waist, "Ianto Jones, what am I going to do with you?"

Ianto kissed the top of Jack's head, "You can come back to bed, that's what you can do and leave that till morning."

"Yeah, but you—"

"Don't know what they did. Yes, I know. I'm willing to listen if you're willing to talk. But for right now, I'm going back to bed. Don't take to long," Ianto kissed him again and moved back to bed.

Moments later Jack turned off the computer and crawled into bed. He got on his side and draped his arm across Ianto's stomach, "I haven't found anything like the last time yet."

"That's good isn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess," Jack kissed Ianto's cheek, "I'll tell you about it in the morning."

…

Because it was Sunday the next day, Jack and Ianto decided to make brunch instead of breakfast. They were in the kitchen around nine, with a plan to have brunch ready by ten.

Ianto poured their third cups of coffee each as Jack got the ingredients from the fridge and cupboards.

"What are we making?" Jack asked.

"Er…didn't we decide that already?"

"We were talking about it but we didn't quite come to a decision."

"Oh, well, you're good at American food, let's do an American breakfast. Why are you good at American food?"

Jack smiled, "Nina and I never knew our dad's family but he was always adamant that he was American. Did Fourth of July and everything."

"So, you _are_ American."

"At least half. How about an old recipe of my dad's? He made these big American biscuits and made sandwiches with sausage, egg, cheese and hash browns."

Ianto's stomach grumbled, "Okay. Do you have a recipe for American biscuits? They're like scones aren't they?"

"One or two differences I think. Tell you what; there is a Betty Crocker cookbook in your grandmother's collection. It'll have the recipe."

"Right, I'll go get it. So, America still exists in the 51st century?"

"Hard to believe but we're a resilient people, what can I say?"

* * *

As Jack was cutting the shortening into the flour and Ianto was peeling the potatoes (they were apparently making hash browns from scratch), Jack spoke,

"In 2002, Torchwood London convinced the Queen to order me to check something out in Mexico. Apex had plans Torchwood didn't like, signs of alien involvement, so I went to check it out. I couldn't find anything that pointed to aliens so I thought I'd stay for awhile, have a little vacation. I was undercover at a resort, patrolling the waters."

"I'm not seeing you in a boat."

"Well, I was in one. Did some scuba diving too, the ocean is a fascinating place. Anyway, one day as I was catching lobster, I found a cable with a chunk missing out of it and stuck in it was this huge shark tooth."

"An alien shark?"

"As it turned out, no, a real live, bonfide, earth shark, a really big one. And then its mother showed up. Bigger than a greyhound bus…"

Jack told Ianto about his ignorant jerk of a boss and the suspicious CEO of Apex Communications. He told Ianto about Cataline Stone who had answered his online request about the tooth he'd found. Cat had initially lied about what kind of shark it was but when there was an attack and death, Jack under the alias of Ben Carpenter confronted her and she admitted it was a Megalodon, an ancient shark that had apparently survived the meteor crash by hiding in deep water trenches. They got much bigger than the one that was cruising the waters off Colima.

The sharks were apparently attracted to the electrical currents flowing out of leaks in the communication cables. Apex knew about the leaks and danger but were doing nothing to fix it and were going ahead with their expansion plans. Jack's friend Chuck had worked for them but when he found out what they were up to, he quit and threatened to bring it to the authorities.

When the young Megalodon killed two more people, Jack convinced Cat that it needed to die. It smashed into their boat and nearly had Jack for lunch. Cat finally found the shotgun and killed it.

The boat was sinking and had flipped over. Just as Jack's friend, Esai was on his way to help, a much bigger Megalodon shot up from the water and swallowed him and his speedboat whole and then swallowed Cat's two assistants.

Jack and Cat were standing on the hull of their boat. Jack dove down and got a flash. When he came back up, he shot it off and fortunately got the attention of a helicopter. Jack picked up a tooth of the giant shark and they were rescued.

Jack jammed the tooth into his boss's desk and quit when he refused to see the danger. Jack, Cat and Chuck came up with a plan to kill the Megalodon. It involved a submarine, some explosives and Jack getting killed.

"Nobody realised I was dead though, they just thought the force of the explosion knocked me out. I spent some time with Cat and then I went home. And this is why I hate sharks."

By the time the story was finished the biscuits were in the oven and they were cooking the hash browns, and sausage patties.

Ianto took a breath, "I quite imagine you left out some gory details for which I am appreciative but bloody hell, Jack. That's just, bloody hell. Did you ever find evidence of aliens?"

"No and after the CEO was eaten I didn't bother looking. I wanted a vacation, damn it."

Ianto kissed Jack, "Well, I'm glad it all worked out. Do you think one of those things will show up?"

"Well, if there aren't any deep water trenches around here, maybe not. Maybe I'm just being paranoid."

"Well, you have right to be. How about we use the Torchwood computers to make sure?"

"Good idea." Jack took a breath, "I haven't been in the ocean since."

"Why not?"

Jack gave a nervous chuckle, "I guess I've developed a fear of sharks."

"That's not like you Jack. You're afraid of mice but you'll go into the attic."

"Ianto, I don't know if you've noticed but sharks are bigger than mice." Jack sighed, "I have died so many times, in varying degrees of pain but I've never been eaten by a shark. I've never lost a limb so I don't know if anything would grow back. I don't want to take that risk."

Ianto nodded, "Good point. It would be a great loss to the world if something were to happen to the mini captain."

Jack smiled, "Exactly," he pulled Ianto into a hug and kissed him.

…………….

"Here's the deal," Jack said after breakfast, "you are officially on leave. No arguments."

They were alone in their room; Ianto sat on the bed and sighed, "For how long?"

"Like I've already said, till you're better. We want you around for awhile." Jack sat next to him and took his hands.

Ianto looked into his eyes, "What if you need me at work?"

"Then I will call you but Ianto, what I really _need_ is for you to get better."

"Okay. And what precautions will we take to make sure I don't deviate?"

Jack was silent for a moment, "Well, I don't want you to feel too much like a prisoner so you can stay here. I'll just have random people check up on you at random times."

"And if I need to get groceries or something?"

"Go with Anwen or wait till the kids get home from school."

Ianto laid his head on Jack's shoulder, "I'd like an Audi if it's not too expensive."

"For you Tiger, anything."

* * *

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

Jack, Nina and Jeanie were the last to arrive at the Hub on Monday.

"Toshiko, Jeanie, use everything you've got; I want to know all there is to know about Apex Communications."

"Why?" asked Gwen "Have they done something?"

They had stopped at the coffee shop on the way, Nina passed out coffees to everyone. Jack took a sip from his before he answered, "I don't know yet. But I don't trust them."

Gwen's eyes were really big, Jack noticed, especially when she was being curious. Maybe she was part cat, which would be weird, "Have you dealt with them before? What happened?"

Tosh and Owen looked up at him too—Nina and Jeanie had eavesdropped. Jack sighed, "Later. Anyway, as you all can see, Ianto is not here. He's taking a leave of absence till further notice." With that he went into his office. He left the door open though.

Moments later Owen came in, "Jack?"

"Yeah?" Jack brought out some papers from a desk drawer.

"I did some research on rehab clinics if it comes down to that."

Jack looked up at him, "And?"

"I found this great one, not far from here actually. They have the best results in South Wales."

"Oh yeah? You have proof?"

"Aside from actual research which I've already emailed to you—"

"Owen are you running a fever?"

Owen sighed, "Jack, Ianto's not only my patient and co-worker, he's also my friend. I want to help."

Jack held up his hands, "Okay, sorry. You were saying?"

"Well, I saw my dad and gran over the weekend and I met my gran's sometime boyfriend, Ted—"

"Boyfriend, huh? Go Nancy."

Owen sighed again, "Anyway, he's a counsellor at the clinic here and he's really popular. I also think Ianto would like him."

"Well, if it comes to that. Thanks Owen. So, how are your dad and gran doing?"

"Fine. Gran says hello back and Dad has plans to escape from the institute. I told him he wasn't crazy of course so I'm gonna try to get him out."

"Good. How does he feel about your gran's boyfriend?"

"How would you feel if your mum was in her eighties and started dating a flirtatious ex-pilot?"

Jack grinned, "I'd be quite happy for her actually."

"You are a horrible frame of reference, Harkness."

"So don't ask me questions like that."

* * *

Owen came out of Jack's office and went down into the lab. Jeanie and Tosh were at the computers and Gwen came up to Nina.

"Do you know why Jack wants information on the company?"

Nina smiled, she liked Gwen; she was sweet and sassy at the same time, the perfect combination in Nina's opinion. She was also unafraid to say what she thought. Nina had to wonder why there were some people who apparently didn't like her much—Ianto's sister-in-law for example. Nina decided she needed to find out. "Certainly," she told her "but only because Jeanie and I listened in when he was telling Ianto. So I probably shouldn't tell you. I think it's one of those need to know basis things."

Gwen sighed, "Yeah, Jack's like that. We don't even know his real name."

Nina grinned, "He hasn't told Ianto yet either. But I'm sure one day, you will here me shout it. He just has to piss me off enough."

"That is a good point."

Nina and Gwen both jumped, neither one had noticed when Jack came up to them.

"I'll tell Ianto when we get home but for right now, I have no problem admitting I'm a junior. Now, is there a reason no one is manning the tourist office?" He looked around at the others but didn't let anyone answer "Gwen?"

"Why me?"

"You're Welsh; it's better if we have someone Welsh up there."

"But—"

"Are you doing anything else right now?"

"Well, no—"

"Then hop to it, get up there."

"Okay," Gwen grabbed her coffee and purse and headed for the cog door.

Jack blinked, "Did I just say 'hop to it'? That is so twentieth century."

* * *

Ianto was bored. But he couldn't risk leaving the house, so he decided to rearrange the furniture in the family room, clean and possibly reorganise the kitchen cabinets. He might also if there was time, get out his trumpet and practice. Yes, he played the trumpet. He just hadn't in awhile so he was probably a bit rusty.

He had the TV on as he was dusting, it was on the news channel and he dropped the dust cloth when he heard the word "shark." He called Jack right away.

"Everything okay?" Jack answered.

"It might be noting but it is unusual," Ianto began.

"What?"

"There was a shark attack; a boat went missing in the Irish Sea a couple days ago, remains washed up in Liverpool this morning. It was on the news."

Jack took a few deep breaths, "Did they say what kind of shark it was?"

"Unidentified but it looks like they're accusing a Bull shark. Someone allegedly saw a fin near the mouth of Mersey River. Bull sharks can enter fresh water."

Jack sighed, "I hope that's what it was. I'll check it out. Thanks."

"Have you told the others why you want information on Apex Communications? It might help them to know what they're looking for."

"Shark attack changes things. I'll tell them. How's your day been going?"

"I think we should renovate the attic and basement."

"You what?"

"Maybe turn the basement into an extra living space or an entertainment room."

"What brought this on?"

"I'm rearranging the furniture and I've been informed that sometime next season I'll have to host a rugby party."

"Well, we'll talk about it later. What am I saying? It's your house, I don't care. I'll you keep you posted on the shark thing."

…………

* * *

Jack told the others a condensed version of what he told Ianto. "So, that's what happened essentially and why I want to know about these people. Owen, I need you to go to Liverpool, and look at the remains and see if anyone's found any shark teeth."

Owen blinked, "Jack, that's a long drive and I'm not driving through Wales. Not after what happened in the bloody Brecon Beacons. No way."

"Owen."

"Wait," Jeanie said as she went over to her TARDIS, which was still shaped like a supply wagon "My TARDIS is charged enough to fly and I can turn it into a submersible so we can check for those fibre optic cables."

Jack looked at her and was silent for a moment before speaking, "You're brilliant! Owen, you heard the lady. I'll go too because I know what the damn teeth look like. Tosh, keep at Apex. Nina don't touch the Archives and Gwen you're in charge while we're gone. Let me get my scuba gear. Wait, how are we gonna get out of here?"

Jeanie smiled, "Oh, Ianto showed me some old blue prints. You have an underwater tunnel that leads to the bay."

"That was closed after the earthquake in 1906."

"No worries. I can get through, with no risk to the Hub."

* * *

The inside of Jeanie's ship was incredibly pink and frilly. It was so sickeningly girly that Owen was glad he hadn't had lunch yet. The console was in the centre and there were several hallways and staircases leading out from it. Owen was told to sit down and not touch anything. This was just so fucking weird he didn't argue.

Jeanie ran around the console, pushing and pulling various things, occasionally telling Jack to "push that button", "pull that lever" and "spin the round thingy."

The doors they came through sealed off and Jeanie said, "Okay, we're in submersible shape now and moving into the water." She pushed another button and a large screen appeared on the opposite wall. Owen saw that they in were in fact moving into the unhygienic water.

"This is just fucking weird. Have I mentioned that I don't like the water?" he said.

Jack looked at him, "Too late now." Then he turned to Jeanie, "This is amazing. The Doctor never does anything like this."

"Well, he's an old fuddy duddy, what do you want? First incarnation, he could be a real stick in the mud at times."

Jack laughed so hard he sank to the floor.

Jeanie made it through the block in the tunnel with no problem. Once they moved into the bay, Owen said,

"So, are we going to fly or stay in the water?"

Jeanie blinked, "Oh. We should probably stay in the water to conserve energy. When we get to Liverpool, I'll make the TARDIS a boat."

As they travelled, Owen couldn't help but be fascinated and Jack, he noticed never took his eyes off the view screen. To make conversation, because he was getting bored, Owen said,

"Jack, you didn't say what coast Colima was on."

"Pacific," he answered without turning his head.

"How big exactly was this giant shark?"

"I can't be sure exactly, but at the time I compared it to a greyhound bus. But when I got close to it, it seemed more like the size of a blue whale."

Owen swallowed, the average bus was roughly twelve metres long and a blue whale got to be twice that. Either way, it was one big badass shark.

Sooner than he thought, Jeanie announced that they were in the waters off Liverpool, and approaching the docks. The whole way there, they didn't see a single shark.

……………

* * *

Jack distracted the medical examiner while Owen and Jeanie examined the remains. Maybe it was a regular shark after all; a full size Megalodon wouldn't leave any remains. Right? But what Jack found out from the M.E. unnerved him even more than he already was. The victim in the examining room had died of drowning; the shark had nibbled on him after. The boat and other person that had been in it were still missing.

"Well?" Jack said, once the three of them were outside.

"Bull shark, no doubt," said Jeanie "which is odd because I didn't think they came around here much. Of course, I'm not an expert."

"He died of drowning through," Owen said.

Jack sighed, "Yeah, and his fishing buddy and their boat are still missing. Come on, let's look for those cables."

………………

* * *

Ianto was tired, he'd been up since dawn because he wanted to make sure coffee was ready for Jack. Since everyone had left for the day, he'd rearranged the furniture, vacuumed, dusted and polished, began reorganising the kitchen and he still had two and a half hours before Cory and Rini got home from school. Anwen had been to check on him twice and he'd received a call on the landline from every one of his siblings each hour. All this attention was enough to drive a person to drink. He touched his bruised cheek and sighed. He needed to be distracted and his OCD was not helping.

He thought about it for several seconds and took several deep breaths. Despite still being rather ticked off at him, Ianto knew they needed to talk.

"Hermes!" he called.

Mere seconds later the Olympian appeared, "You called?" he was wearing blue jeans and a hoodie bearing the logo of Real Madrid.

"I thought you favoured Greece," Ianto indicated the sweatshirt.

"I do," Hermes shrugged "Spain's my second favourite. So, you wanna talk?" his golden eyes weren't as sparkly as usual.

Ianto nodded, "I do and this time, no lies."

"Deal."

They sat in the family room. "Why didn't you ever tell me?" Ianto asked, "We could have—"

"Yes, we could have, but you're meant to be with Jack. I couldn't keep you from him. Besides, had we started something, you would have met him anyway and I wouldn't have liked it. I'm a self admitted jealous bastard."

"Were you jealous of Lisa?"

"Yep," Hermes leaned against the opposite armrest.

Ianto took a breath, "There's something I don't understand, several things actually but—if you love me then why did you let me do drugs and drink?"

Hermes looked into his eyes, "Simple explanation: I'm an idiot, it's a genetic fault. My grandfather, Atlas once did something so stupid he was sentenced to spend the rest of eternity in a mountain range in Africa."

"Hermes."

"I was experimenting myself. I wanted to go to Woodstock but they wouldn't let me. Anyway we didn't do that many drugs; some marijuana, an experiment with meth. But you had more control than me you know that. And after Gwyddion talked to you, you straightened out, more or less."

"He said he'd come back if I fell off track. I did and he didn't. Why wasn't there an intervention when I was drinking and hurting Lisa?"

Hermes took a breath, "I told you to chill out a couple of times, didn't I? Gwyddion didn't return because you weren't seriously contemplating suicide. As for Lisa, the main intervention was when she got the courage to break up with you."

Ianto was silent for a few moments and decided to change the subject, thoughts of Lisa were increasing his craving, "What I said to you that night in Splott, I meant it."

"I know."

"Had I been fully sober, would you still have stopped me?"

Hermes stared steadily into his eyes, "Honestly, I don't know. I like to think I would but when it comes down to it, at the end of the day, I'm still an amorous Olympian. Someone kisses me of their own volition, I'm gonna kiss them back."

"Jack says he wouldn't mind a threesome."

Hermes smiled, "I'm sure."

"It would only be fair, Sarah joined us."

"I know that," his tone of voice indicated that he didn't like it.

"So, you're not only jealous but you don't like to share."

"Jack told you about how I acted when he caught me with Menelaus didn't he?"

"Yes."

"Evidence enough," Hermes stood "I think it's best if we stay friends."

Ianto stood too, "I guess. Can I get you a coffee?"

"Some other time. I should go."

"Why? We can talk about the Olympics or something."

There was something in Hermes' eyes Ianto hadn't seen before directed at him. Lust. "If I don't leave now—" Hermes touched Ianto's cheek, "That should heal up soon. He won't hit you again. I know he won't and if he does…" his voice was rough and his Greek accent slipped out.

"I deserved it anyway," Ianto's voice came out in a whisper.

"Stop thinking that way. Now, I really should go before I—" But then Hermes' lips were on his.

The past left memories that suddenly flooded Ianto, for some reason caused his body to pull closer to Hermes. Then he wasn't Ianto anymore, he was Ieuan, a mortal in Cymru and Hermes was his lover.

They lay on the ground, both their chests bare and Ieuan was atop Hermes, sucking at his neck. Ieuan pulled back slightly and murmured, "I have missed you my love. The sun has risen and fallen many times since you last came to me."

The tiny black dots in Hermes' eyes became smaller and he croaked a word Ieuan could not understand, "What?"

"Hermes, what is the matter?" Ieuan sat up straddling Hermes' lap.

Hermes closed his eyes briefly and said something in Greek and then a hand came up and landed across Ieuan's cheek, "God damn it, Ianto snap out of it!" and he scrambled out from under him.

The ringing of his mobile brought Ianto back to the present. It was Torchwood calling, "Hello," he answered.

"Ianto," it was Gwen and there was screeching in the background, "are you okay? You sound out of breath."

"Oh, yeah. I was in the shower," he lied. "What's up?"

"Oh, I know you're on leave but the pterodactyl got loose and it's making a horrible mess. It won't calm it down, I think it misses you."

Damn, that cage was always failing. "_It_ is a she and _she_ has a name. You know Jeanie confirmed she was female."

"Sorry. Myfanwy's loose; it's just Tosh, Nina and me here. We could use your help. We've had to barricade ourselves in Jack's office."

"Where are the other three?"

"Gone to Liverpool to check out that shark thing."

"Okay, I'll get Anwen's car and be there as soon as I can," he hung up and searched for his shirt.

Hermes handed it to him, "I'm sorry I slapped you but you were going through past life regression to the extreme."

"Yeah, we'll talk about it later," he pulled on his shirt, got some dark chocolate from the kitchen and left.

Ianto couldn't borrow Anwen's car. She insisted on driving him to Millennium Centre and she and two and a half year old Tara would hang out in the restaurant while Ianto dealt with what he needed to deal with.

……………….

* * *

They found a fibre optics cable about twenty miles offshore and followed it for awhile till they found a chunk missing. Jack ignored the onslaught of flashbacks and took a breath, "Okay, I'll go out there and take a look." He hadn't been scuba diving since that fateful summer but he got into that wet suit as quickly as if it had only been yesterday. When he emerged from the dressing room there was a click and a flash. Owen had taken a picture with his phone.

Jack looked at him, "Why'd you do that?"

Owen smirked, "Ianto would appreciate seeing that."

Jack rolled his eyes.

Jeanie opened a hatch, "Okay Jack, hop in there and open the other hatch when the pressure equalises."

"Yeah, I know."

Once in the water, Jack was totally on his guard. He did not want to be eaten by a shark. Oh, why didn't he think to bring that harpoon gun?

Jack got close to the cable, there weren't any teeth but the bite pattern was similar. He felt a shadow loom over him; he swam back into the TARDIS, not bothering to check what it was.

"Get us out of here!" Jack shouted once back inside, "Teleport if you can, that thing will eat us!"

Jeanie ran around the consol, "Well, I guess I can."

"And call your brother!"

"Oh, I can't, we're not caught up to Martha's time yet. We still have about two more weeks."

"Fuck," Jack kicked at a chair but slipped in his flippers.

…………………..

* * *

Ianto entered the Hub through the tourist office. When he got down there, he wondered what Jack did with that brandy that had been in his office. Myfanwy had made a mess of the Hub. Ianto held out the chocolate, "Myfanwy! Here, girl!"

Myfanwy landed in front of Ianto immediately; he was the only one she listened to. From what Ianto had observed she was at least as intelligent as the average house dog, maybe more. Ianto had briefly considered being a palaeontologist once but it took too much work. You had to be super smart and crap.

"Hey there, girl. Were you wondering where I was? I'm sorry but Jack's put me on leave." He took a cautious step closer, "Look what I have for you," he unwrapped the chocolate (Cadbury) and broke off a piece.

She flapped her wings and was that joy in her eyes? Trippy.

He tossed her the piece, "Now, sweetie, I need you to calm down. You're scaring the girls." As long as Ianto was here, Myfanwy wouldn't be anymore trouble and would go back to her nest eventually. He gave her the rest of the chocolate and she nipped at him affectionately. She allowed him to pat her beak a couple times before soaring up into the rafters.

Ianto sighed, "Okay, you three can come out now."

Nina, Tosh and Gwen came out of the office and came over to him.

Gwen hugged him, "Thank-you Ianto, you're a life saver."

"I do my best," he got hugs from the other two as well.

Nina looked him up and down, "I don't think I've seen you in jeans yet. Looking hot, but what's your shirt mean?"

Gwen's eyes went wide and Tosh rose her eyebrows.

"'I survived the Brecon Beacons'," she read. "Where did you get that?"

Ianto breather a mental sigh of relief, thankful that he'd put his shirt on right side out. "I made it actually. I have a couple for you two if you want them. And Nina, it's a long story."

Right then a pink submarine appeared in the centre of the Hub. A door opened and Owen hurried out, looking a combination of freaked out and amazed. He stopped in his tracks.

"What the fuck happened in here? Is that dinosaur shit on my chair?" he looked at Ianto, "and what are you doing here?"

Jack stormed out of the TARDIS; he was dressed in a wet suit sans flippers. Ianto went over to him, "Are you okay?"

Jack seemed to be fuming, "I fucking hate fucking sharks!" He kicked at a chair and stormed up to his office.

Everyone stared after him. Owen broke the silence, "Well, it's good to know he hates fucking something."

"Don't you dare short out!" Jeanie shouted from inside the TARDIS, "You will not be stuck as a bloody pink submarine."

Ianto waited a few moments and went after Jack. He didn't knock. "Jack, what happened?"

Jack stopped pacing, "What are you doing here?"

Ianto flinched, "Gwen called me to help with Myfanwy; she got loose."

Jack sighed, "I keep meaning to fix that cage. I'm sorry I snapped."

"S'okay. You look really hot in that."

Jack smiled, "Thanks."

"Makes me want to see you in something else modern."

Jack wrapped his arms around him, "I'll keep that in mind." He kissed Ianto but then stood back and touched his left cheek, "What happened here? Did someone hit you?"

_Great, all I need is another bruise._ "Well, the gist is I went through past life regression and Hermes slapped me to snap me out of it."

Jack was silent for a moment, "Okay, when this shark thing is over, I wanna hear the story. But right now, " he took a breath "I need to call Cat. And you need to go home."

"Okay, after I clean up out there."

"No, the others will clean up. You do enough around here. Now please, go home, I'll tell you what happened later."

"All right," Ianto sighed, resigned and kissed Jack again, passionately enough to get him excited, "one condition."

"What's that?" Jack moaned, his wet suit must have been feeling very constricting.

"You wear this tonight."

"Whatever you say. Oh, and if my sister ever decides to shout it, my given name is Franklin John Jackson Jr. You have my permission to shout it too if you like."

* * *

_Intermission._

** I know, I know, why'd I stop there? Because I want this adventure to be in two parts. I'll have the second half up sometime after the New Year. Especially if I get decent reviews. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean?**

** Now, I don't know how big that Megalodon was in the movie, I don't think it was as big as a Blue whale. I'll look it up and clarify the size in the next chapter.**

**Happy Holidays to you all! Hugs!**

**TTFN,**

**LadyA**


	36. Megalodon Pt Two

**Hey, gang, miss me? So, here's the next chapter. I know I said I wanted the Megalodon story to be in two parts but it looks like it'll be three. I'm sorry but I didn't wanna keep you guys waiting for an update much longer. My plan is to have part three up next week sometime, maybe sooner, depending on my levels of inspiration.**

**I would have had this up sooner but I've been sick, I have pharyngitis, which is a bad sore throat. Painful to swallow anything, even water. I had to go to the ER yesterday, because it'd been a few days with a fever too and I don't have a doctor. I had to have two bags of IV fluid I was so dehydrated. I got some medicine and I should be all right. I'm already starting to feel better.**

**I ask you though to please pray that the hospital bill won't be as much as I fear it will be.**

**Moving on….**

**Disclaimer: I don't know if they sell vinegar and alcohol in the same shop in the UK but if they don't for the purposes to this story let's pretend they do. **

**And I got my information on Gwyn ap Nuad from ****Celtic Myth & Magick**** by Edain McCoy.**

**WARNING: You might see a touch of Yankee pride from time to time. Also I was feverish when writing some parts of this chapter.**

**Oh and a special thanks to TheDoctorWood for leaving such a nice review and convincing me to start working on this again.**

**Please enjoy. **

**

* * *

  
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Megalodon

Part II

Ianto watched Cory and Rini colour in their colouring books on the coffee table. He was exhausted from the cleaning he'd done that day and that ordeal with Hermes. The cheek Hermes had struck had stopped hurting by the time he got back from the Hub and it hadn't bruised, wasn't even red. Ianto figured it was because gods don't leave marks unless they want to.

Ianto yawned and decided to go down into the basement to look for something but he wanted to find it quickly. Ianto wasn't a big fan of basements these days so whenever he had to go down there he made sure he didn't stay for very long. He also felt some apprehension when opening a fridge but he knew that was irrational. But the basement, the basement was another story; you never knew what could be in a basement.

He made his way to some boxes when he saw a green glow coming from what seemed to be a loose panel on the wall. What was freakier is that he heard his name being called, it was coming from behind the panel. Curious but on guard Ianto edged closer.

"Ifan Carwyn Jones, don't you dare."

He froze at the sound of his father's voice and turned. His father was standing there at the base of the stairs, hands on his hips.

"Tad?"

"Aye, it's me. Don't open that panel; leave that thing where it is."

"But it's calling my name."

Cadfael Sr. sighed, "Ignore it, son. It's not worth it."

"But I have to know if it's a threat."

"Of course it's a threat, that's why you should just leave it. You are so like your grandfather Davies."

"I guess it's hereditary. Did you know what he and Mam…"

Cadfael nodded "I know about Torchwood, aye and I know that you're working for them. I also know about that ponce Harkness."

"Is that why you're here? To tell me you don't approve? Well I'm not asking for your approval. You're dead or supposed to be anyway."

Cadfael sighed again and there was a sadness in his eyes, "No that's not why I'm here. I know you love him, it doesn't bother me—much. I'm here to tell you to stay away from that panel."

"But I wanna know."

"Ianto, what happened the last time you said that in a basement?"

"I'm sorry, Tad, I can't help it," Ianto turned around and opened the panel.

He woke up screaming. He was still in the family room, on the couch where'd he'd been relaxing.

Jack held him, "Ianto, it's okay, hush."

Ianto clutched at him, "Jack, it was terrible, there's a monster in the basement, it's green."

"It's okay, you were just having a bad dream," Jack rubbed circles on his back.

"A dream?" Ianto sniffed and saw that, the kids and Nina and Jeanie were looking at him with concern "I guess it must have been."

That night Ianto told Jack about the dream.

"I'm sure there's nothing down there," Jack came out of the bathroom in his wet suit "but I'll take a look when we're done with this shark thing. In the meantime follow Cadfael's advice."

"Yeah, all right."

"Now, please try not to rip this, it's the only one I have."

………….

* * *

As they lay in bed that night….

"Did you get a hold of Ms. Stone?" Ianto asked.

Jack sat up, "Er…not yet, I'm not entirely sure that we need her."

Ianto sat too, "Is that really it?" he glanced at the clock "it's only four in the afternoon in California, you could probably reach her at work."

"Yeah, I'm sure I could but…er…you see, I didn't exactly leave her in good spirits."

"You're not the nervous type Jack. You and Christopher had a bad break up but you get along just fine now."

Jack ran a hand through his hair, "It's different with Cat, I sort of just disappeared on her."

Ianto sighed, "I'm sure you've done that with several lovers, why is she different?"

"I don't know if we should subject someone else to Torchwood."

"That's why we have Retcon, Jack. Jack, we're going to need a shark expert."

Ianto was right, Jack knew that. And they couldn't rely on Jeanie's TARDIS computers till they were completely recharged—she gave an estimate of "around July sometime". They didn't have till "around July sometime".

Jack sighed, "Okay, I'll tell Cat and Chuck about the situation, more or less but I'll only have them come over if there really is one of those things out there."

Ianto blinked, "Why Chuck?"

"He might have another missile, I unfortunately do not. And don't ask me how he would get it here because I…" Jack stopped and thought, no, he couldn't teleport Chuck here. The Doctor gave Jeanie orders not to fix Jack's wrist strap "I don't know." He got out of bed and dug in his coat for his mobile and the number to the San Diego Natural History Museum where Cataline Stone still worked.

Jack sat back down and stared at it for a minute, "When Rini and I were in San Diego I made sure to avoid the history museum. Fortunately, Rini was more interested in seeing an IMAX at the science museum."

Ianto put a hand on Jack's shoulder, "Remind me to visit that city sometime. Would you rather I talk to her?"

"No, I'll do it."

Jack finally got through to Cat's office just as she was about to head out.

"This is Cataline Stone," she said.

Jack took a breath, "Hey Cat, it's Ben."

……..

* * *

The next morning was Tuesday and Ianto got out of bed early to fix breakfast for everyone, after all he still wasn't allowed to go into work. While his cooking skills on his own still weren't as good as Jack's he was getting there. He toasted waffles and managed to cook the bacon without burning it. Everyone in the household except for Cory and Jeanie liked bacon, so Ianto made sure they got extra fruit. He even scrambled the eggs without ruining them.

Cory of course was the first to come down stairs and into the kitchen where the breakfast table was, "Bore da, Tad". He was already dressed for school.

"Bore da, Cory. I hope you're hungry."

"Yes, may I help?"

Ianto smiled, "Sure, you can set the table if you like. I already got the dishes out I just haven't set them up yet."

"Okay" he moved to the breakfast table and began arranging it.

Ianto had to wonder where his son learned all these manners and how long they would last. In six years Cory would be hitting puberty—oh, god. Ianto shook the thought out of his head, he would be the father of a teenager before he knew it, two if you counted Rini and of course Ianto did. "Do you know if the others are up yet?"

"Nina's in the loo," Jeanie entered the kitchen "I see you two have everything taken care of. Good morning." She smiled.

"Morning. So, when are you gonna make that banana pie?"

"After we take care of this shark thing," Jeanie sat down and poured herself some milk.

Moments later Nina came in "Good morning everyone" she said cheerily and then she said to Ianto "I'll pass out the food, you're needed upstairs. Rini's room."

Ianto's brows furrowed "What's wrong?"

"I think she has a cold. Jack's up there with her."

Ianto nodded, left the kitchen and took the stairs two at a time, "What's the matter?" he asked when he got to Rini's room which was Princess pink and purple and tiger striped themed.

Rini was sitting up in bed, propped up against her pillows, shivering and looking absolutely miserable.

Jack was sitting next to her, "someone slept with her window open last night," he said to Ianto.

Ianto came closer and kneeled by the bed, "Oh, Rini Princess, it rained last night."

"I forgot to close it," she sneezed "and Janie Lewis was coughing all yesterday. The nurse sent her home."

Jack sighed, "I'll call the school" he touched Rini's nose "you get to stay with Ianto today."

"So I don't have to go to school today?"

"No" Ianto put a hand on her forehead "she is burning up Jack. I'll call Geraint, see if he can come over during his lunch break."

Jack stood up, "There's always Owen."

"Yeah, but my brother is actually trained in paediatrics. Besides, what if you need Owen for something?"

"All right. I better go call the school now." He left the room.

Ianto took Jack's place on Rini's bed "You hungry?"

"I don't know."

"Well, how 'bout I go get you some juice?"

"Okay."

* * *

TWTWTWTWTWTW

As much as Jack wanted to stay home with his daughter, he knew that she and Ianto would take care of each other. Besides, Rini being sick would take Ianto's attention away from his cravings, hopefully. Jack knew he had to go into work anyway.

He had talked to both Cat and Chuck and they agreed to help if necessary, even though Cat hadn't been overly pleased to hear from him. Jack had left out the alien details and who he really was of course—he figured he'd wait and see if he actually needed to bring them over. Chuck was willing to come over right away, apparently in the mood to hunt giant sharks. He didn't have a spare missile but knew where he could get one.

The week went by without anything happening other than Rini having a forty-eight hour flu. Then the kids came home with a notice from the school saying there was a lice outbreak. This had Ianto in a panic and washing everything that could be washed, even though Cory and Rini didn't have lice themselves. Ianto also nearly wrapped everything in plastic.

Jack was beginning to relax though. Maybe he was wrong about Apex and that cable had been bitten by another shark. On the day he remembered he was supposed to check the basement for Ianto the morning news stated that the Irish and Celtic Seas were being overrun with sharks—which just didn't make sense. British waters weren't exactly famous for their shark attacks.

……….

* * *

Jack stared at the bay from the safety of one of his favourite rooftops. There were fins everywhere—the water was saturated with sharks. This was not right, completely unnatural and Jack wondered if he had done something to irk Poseidon (other than helping Hercules to kill his pet) or perhaps some other sea god.

"I can't believe I just thought that," he muttered and then he took a breath "Hermes!"

Hermes, however did not appear. Jack sighed in frustration, maybe Hermes only answered to Ianto. Jack called Ianto and asked him to contact Hermes. Then Jack left the roof and dared move closer to the bay. He shuddered; the whole thing was just creepy.

Half an hour later Ianto called back, saying that Hermes wasn't answering him either, "If he shows, I'll send him to you."

"That doesn't make sense. He always answers you; he loves you." And Jack thought it was odd that he and Hermes had the same taste in people.

Ianto laughed nervously, "Yeah, well, it might have something to with that past life thing last week."

"Oh?" Jack asked heading back to the tourist office "What did happen with that? I know I said to wait till this shark thing was over but…"

Ianto took a breath, "Well, we sort of kissed."

Jack was silent for a moment, "you were sober when this happened?"

"Yes."

Jack felt a slight twinge of jealously which was just weird, "Then you don't just 'sort of' kiss. What happened? Why didn't you tell me from the start?" _especially if you knew what you were doing, last time you were drunk and he made you forget._

"You said to wait. Besides he moved in first—" Ianto sighed "it's my fault though."

"What do you mean?" Jack's voice came out sharper than he intended.

"I called him to talk, we talked and then he wanted to leave. I said we could hang out and he said if he didn't leave soon then…and he kissed me and I forgot I was Ianto. That's why he slapped me."

Jack had a feeling Ianto wasn't telling him everything but he wasn't in the mood. Besides Jeanie had entered the office through the tunnel, "All right, just send him if he shows."

"I will," Ianto sounded guilty.

"Hey, I'm sorry I snapped at you. This shark thing's got me on edge. You should see the bay."

"Yeah, I saw the news. Bull sharks have been seen in the Thames."

"How?" Jack had to ask. How could anyone see anything in that river?

"Fins."

Jack heard a noise in the background, probably the TV. "What's that you're watching?"

"Oh, Jaws."

"Why?"

"I actually think sharks are cool. Mind, I'm not gonna go swimming with them."

"He likes sharks," Jack told Jeanie who seemed to want to tell Jack something but was waiting patiently. "Anyway, Tiger, I've gotta get back to work. I love you."

"I love you too."

When Jack hung up, he asked Jeanie "What's up?"

"Tosh and I found a signal. It seems to be luring the sharks here."

Jack sighed in relief, a signal meant that it was likely not an angry sea god. Jack hoped.

….

* * *

Jeanie explained as they made their way down into the Hub, "Gwen wondered if aliens really were behind this. Then Owen said that he couldn't think of a natural explanation so many sharks would come here and then Nina suggested that maybe whoever was behind this was controlling the sharks some how. Maybe something to do with the currents from the cables. So Tosh and I decided to look. I boosted the computers with my lipstick because otherwise…"

"Yeah okay," Jack interrupted her, they were in the Hub now with everyone looking at them "Where's the signal coming from?"

"The North Sea."

"The what?" the last time a signal had come from the North Sea, a flying saucer had crashed into Big Ben, "Are you sure?"

"Am I a Time Lady?"

Jack sighed, what if the Slitheen were behind this? Did they have any vinegar? Of course, the Time Lady would probably want to try reasoning with the aliens first, if she were anything like her brother.

"Jack," Gwen was at her computer, "Report's just come in."

"Tell me it's about green aliens who fart a lot," Jack stretched his arms.

Jeanie's brows furrowed and she tapped her chin.

"No," Gwen said "Sorry. Off Ireland's west coast, someone saw what appeared to be 'a really big shark' from a plane. The man was completely sober."

Jack found a chair and sank into it, "Great, just great, all we need." His cell phone rang, the ID said 'Chuck'. "Chuck, what's up?"

"You hear about that sighting?"

"Just now, you hear about our sudden shark infestation?"

"Yep. You know, I've been wondering why you moved to Cardiff."

Jack blinked, "Have you? Well, I like the Welsh.'

"And why you just vanished on us."

Jack knew that tone of voice—Chuck knew something, "Maybe I'll tell you when you get here. Do you have that missile?"

"Not yet but I can get it. My only problem is getting it there."

Jack looked at Jeanie, "I'll work something out and let you know. Later," he hung up to find everyone staring at him with curious looks on their faces.

"What?" he said.

Jeanie snapped her fingers, "Raxacoricofallapatorians!"

"What?" the other four chimed.

"Green aliens that fart a lot," she said "why'd you bring them up Jack?"

"Because they were involved last time a signal came from the North Sea. Guys, try and pinpoint it exactly. Jeanie, I'd like to talk to you privately."

……..

* * *

An hour later the kids were home from school and were working on some sort of school assignment in the dining room. Ianto was watching 'Deep Blue Sea'. Why he was having a psycho shark movie marathon was beyond him. But on the bright side Ianto had finally chosen a new car and they'd be getting it within the week, barring all complications of course.

His mobile rang, it was Jack.

"Hey, Stallion, I haven't got a hold of Hermes yet."

"I figured as he hasn't shown up here. That's not why I'm calling though."

"Oh, why?"

"I need you to do me a favour."

Ianto sat up and shut off the TV, "Name it," Ianto was going stir crazy and prayed the favour would get him out of the house.

"We might be dealing with aliens that have adverse reactions to vinegar. I need you to use the Torchwood account to buy a few litres and maybe some water pistols or something."

Ianto stood up, "On it, I'll borrow Anwen's car again. Can you call and tell her it's work related?"

* * *

TWTWTWTWTW

Jeanie agreed to fix only the teleport mechanism on Jack's wrist strap. He would not be able to time travel. He would however be able to teleport with other people and missiles. It was the fastest and easiest way to get Chuck and the missile to Cardiff. Ianto was right, that's why they had retcon.

Chuck had for some reason moved to San Diego's East County. Jack hadn't bothered to delve deeper when he was looking for Chuck's phone number the previous week, Jack appeared outside Chuck's house at about 7:30 A.M California time. Fortunately, there didn't seem to be anyone about on Magnolia Ave, that early in the morning. By the looks of things though, it wasn't the best part of town. Jack went up to the door which opened before he could knock.

Chuck stood there pointing a gun at him, "You could have called Captain."

Jack held up his hands, "Well I…" wait, Captain?

Chuck motioned inside, "I know who you are. Get in."

"You do?" Jack stepped inside and Chuck closed and locked the door behind him,

Chuck lowered his weapon but didn't holster it, "I wondered if Torchwood had a teleport."

Jack stared at him, "What? How do you…"

"I'm in Starlight, West Coast regional commander."

Jack felt his jaw drop open. No way.

Starlight was in essence America's version of Torchwood. It was created during the Hoover administration after an unnamed incident in New York. Probably the best idea they had. Since then though, the President was never directly involved with Starlight—safer for his career that way. Collectively Starlight was run by the Secretary of Defense. Of course the public wasn't privy to that information. Throughout the country Starlight was divided into regions—where the bases were exactly located Jack didn't know. But apparently the West Coast HQ was in San Diego. Jack didn't know much about Starlight but he did know however, that like Torchwood, Starlight's attitude towards aliens varied by region and commander.

Jack found his voice, "Were you in Starlight back in '02?"

"I was undercover yes, so were you I bet."

"How did you find out who I was?"

"Well, I'll be honest with ya, I didn't know then. But after we talked last week I wondered what you were doing in Cardiff, why you had disappeared so suddenly. So I ran your picture through Starlight's database. Got a match. You're Captain Jack Harkness, commander of Torchwood 3."

Jack crossed his arms, "What am I doing in your database?"

"Starlight New England had a run in with Torchwood London fifty years ago, we've been keeping an eye on all of you ever since."

Well, crap. Jack wondered what Torchwood London did to piss of the Americans so much. Americans only spied on people who irritated them in some way.

"You gonna put that away?" Jack indicated Chuck's gun.

Chuck smiled and holstered the weapon, "Good to see you again. So, Jack is it?"

"Yeah, it's Jack. I don't know if what that person in the plane saw was actually a Megalodon but just in case, do you have that missile?"

"Oh, yeah. Come with me."

Starlight West Coast's base was disguised interestingly as a conspiracy nut hangout in El Cajon.

"Why here?" Jack asked as they got out of Chuck's black Mustang.

"It was either this or the mall. Come on."

………

* * *

Ianto was amazingly allowed to go shopping by himself—after he swore profusely on everything holy in existence that he would just get Jack's requested items. What did he have to do to get these people to trust him again? Maybe he should go to rehab, if that would make everyone happy. It was something to think about anyway.

He decided to get the vinegar first before going to the toy shop for the water weapons. Ianto had to wonder what alien had adverse reactions to vinegar. He hadn't asked Jack, any excuse to get out of the house. He didn't ask Jack much of anything anyway when it came to work. Jack would say jump and Ianto wouldn't ask 'how high?' He'd just do it. At home on the other hand they were more equal, at least that was Ianto's intention. He supposed he needed to get this drinking thing sorted, especially since the shopping trolley had led him to the alcohol section against his will.

He put a hand to his now completely bruise-free cheek, "Well, huh, how 'bout that?" back away Ianto, just back away.

Someone came up to him on his left, "Ianto, are you okay?"

Ianto jumped and turned, it was Dylan, his father's youngest brother, "Uncle Dylan, hello."

Dylan looked pale but no worse than he had at the Yule dinner when he announced that he had contracted HIV from a dirty needle, "Hello, were you planning on buying any or were you just visiting?" word of Ianto's alcoholism had spread quickly through the family.

Ianto smiled slightly, "Visiting, I'm here for vinegar. How are you?"

"As well as can be expected. And yourself?"

"I'm good. How's Douglas?"

Douglas was Dylan's boyfriend and life saver. Dylan was gay—as a maypole but also was a recovering heroin addict. Douglas had pulled him out of his addiction, prolonging his life. Dylan was only forty-six, seventeen years younger than Ianto's father.

"He's himself," Dylan said "and he's here."

A Texan drawl came around the corner, "This is a messed up country," Douglas scanned the alcohol and sighed "And what the hell is with all them fucking sharks?"

What, Ianto wondered, is with this family and American men?

"Relax Cowboy," Dylan told him "I'm sure there's a logical explanation."

"Yeah, whatever. Howdy, Ianto, what's up?"

"The sky, I imagine."

"I should hope so. Hey, does your Jack like hockey?"

Ianto blinked, he actually wasn't aware if Jack liked any sports in particular, "I don't know but if he does I'm sure he'd like Chicago."

"Chicago? I thought that was a Midwest accent," in his shopping trolley was a box of hair dye. From what Ianto could see Douglas had only three grey hairs in his mop of brown. Dylan didn't have any.

Dylan must have noticed Ianto looking, "The Cowboy here is going through a mid-life crisis."

"Aren't you only forty-four?" Ianto asked him.

Douglas ran a hand through his hair, "That counts as middle age."

Dylan put a hand on his shoulder, "Remember dear, I am two years older than you."

"So," Ianto said "I've gotta get that vinegar."

"You making a salad or something?" Douglas asked.

"Or something. Nice seeing you two," Ianto forced the trolley away from the alcohol.

"And you," Dylan gave him a hug and pinched his cheek.

"Uncle Dylan, I'm not five."

…………….

* * *

It took Ianto a little longer to get the water weapons, he had been a bit indecisive about what kind to get so he got varying shapes and sizes. He got single handed, two handed, where you had to pump to get the water out and he even got some water balloons for good measure. When the shopping was done, Ianto made his way back to the Hub. He couldn't help but stop and look at the bay before entering the tourist office.

He shuddered, "Definitely not going in there. That is just insanity," he took a breath, "Hermes!" he tried again, still nothing, "Jerk."

"You'll have to forgive him," Ares appeared before him "He feels horrible about what happened."

Ianto sighed "It's not his fault. He tried to leave."

"I think you have some sort of complex."

"What?"

"You keep blaming yourself. Sometimes that's good for a recovering alcoholic, other times…"

"I'm sorry, I thought you were the god of war not the god of therapists," Ianto unlocked the door.

"Didn't your grandmother teach you not to snap at gods?"

"I always assumed she meant native gods," Ianto put on his best innocent face.

Ares glared at him, then sighed, "Anyway, this," he waved an arm at the bay "isn't god related. Hermes can't interfere. None of us can. I'm here so you stop wasting your breath calling for him."

"Thanks, does interfering include helping me carry my shopping inside?"

Ares grinned, "Afraid so," with that he vanished.

Ianto rolled his eyes, "And they wonder why so many people stopped worshipping them."

Ianto had left the bags in the car because he had gotten so much, he intended on getting someone to help. He was about the go inside when he remembered that he could call. Owen surprisingly agreed to help. They were friends, sure but he wasn't helpful in front of other people that often.

Owen let out a low whistle at the sight of the water weapons, "Reminds me of when I was a kid. My estate was all about water fights in the summer."

Ianto smiled, "Yeah, my brothers and I had a fetish for this stuff. We'd get each other and our sisters soaked. The girls were never overly happy about it."

"Girls never are. Hey, I have an idea."

"Owen, surely you're not thinking…where's Jack anyway?"

"Oh, he got Jeanie to fix his teleport; he's in San Diego getting that missile. Come on Ianto, we can take these to the shooting range and test them out, make sure they work."

The idea was tempting and Ianto still had some cabin fever to shake off, "Well, as long as Jack's not here."

…..

* * *

Twenty minutes later at Olympus…

Ares and Hermes stood in the Viewing Room, watching Ianto and Owen shoot each other with water. Hermes crossed his arms and glared venom at Ares.

"What did you do to them? I know for a fact Ianto would not be goofing off like that without your influence. Owen, I'm not so sure about."

Ares' lips curved upwards, "I respectively decline to answer without my attorney present."

"I'm your attorney!"

"Are you? Then you're fired," Ares turned around and came face to face with Gwyn ap Nuad, the Celtic god of war, well one of them anyway. The Celts were a proud and fierce warrior race—they just weren't very organised. The Romans did conquer them after all and the Romans got their technique from the Greeks. Ares had to admit that the Romans improved on it a bit. Ares liked the Romans, they gave him more respect. He just wished they wouldn't call him Mars.

Gwyn ap Nuad was mainly Welsh, the last time Ares checked, he couldn't keep those people straight.

"Hi Gwyn, what's up?" Ares gave him a smile.

Gwyn shoved him, "How dare you influence my people!"

"Oh, it's not like either one of them worships you. And I've a feeling that Owen has more Anglo-Saxon than Celt…"

"So you did work your mojo on them," Hermes said "Why? Ianto Jones is _my _favourite."

"He deserves to have some fun after being cooped up for more than a week," then Ares got the Tartarus out of there.

* * *

TWTWTWTW

Jack, Chuck and the missile appeared in the centre of the Hub. The girls all stared at them, Owen was no where to be seen.

"That was wild," Chuck said.

"I know. Ladies," Jack grinned "This is Chuck, he's the West Coast commander of Starlight. Chuck, meet Gwen Cooper, Toshiko Sato, Jeanie Smith, and my sister, Nina," he pointed to each in turn.

Chuck nodded, "Nice to meet you. Jack, you didn't tell me you worked with such beautiful women."

Jack shrugged, "What can I say? I'm blessed."

"Um, sorry, but what's Starlight?" Gwen asked.

"Basically America's version of Torchwood. Where's Owen?"

The girls all looked at each other and then Nina said, "In the shooting range with Ianto. Ianto got here with the supplies about half an hour ago."

"Good," Jack tapped his blue tooth, "Owen, Ianto, get up here" there was no reply "Weird, I'll go down and get them. Ladies, make Chuck feel welcome."

When Jack got down to the shooting range he found Ianto and Owen acting like a couple of twelve year olds. This was just uncalled for, completely unlike either of them. Well, Ianto certainly. He watched them for a few moments, they both seemed to have good aim. Hmm…

"Ianto! Owen! What the hell are you doing?" he barked.

They stopped immediately, both red at being caught. Jack crossed his arms and waited for an explanation.

Owen took a step forward, "It was my idea Jack. I wanted to make sure the water guns worked. I promise we're both sober."

Ianto came closer too, "and I only bought the vinegar and weapons," he took a breath "I admit though I did stop and stare at the alcohol for a few minutes—but I didn't touch any."

Jack smiled, "Good job, Ianto, I'm proud of you. You can stay and help today."

Ianto's eyes lit up, "Thank-you, sir."

"Now, you two dry off and come up and meet Chuck."

"Jack," Jeanie's voice entered his ear "we've got the signal and I've cracked Apex's hidden files."

"Jeanie you're amazing," then his phone rang. It was Cat.

"Hey, Cat."

"Ben, I just arrived in Cardiff."

"What? Why?" No way, she could get here that quickly if she'd only heard about the sighting this morning, even if she took a Concord.

"I left last night, when I heard about all the sharks. Come on Ben, you know I have to see that."

* * *

**So, like I said, I'll have part three up as soon as possible. I hope you like it so far, please let me know.**

**QUESTION: when I have to cross that bridge (in a couple of chapters), what should I do with Capt. John Hart? My initial plan is to have him show up while Ianto's safe in rehab but other than that, I've got no clue. Any suggestions would be most helpful. Thank-you.**

**TTFN**

_Nina held onto Jack's hand as his eyes snapped open and he screamed in agony "I'm right here, baby brother, don't worry. Hush, it'll be all right. Hey, remember the lullaby Dad used to sing? Hush little baby, don't a say word, Papa's going to but you a mocking bird…"_


	37. Megalodon Pt Three

**I am so, so sorry, I said a week and I got distracted. Please forgive me.**

**IMPORTANT: I have decided officially (will not be changed again) on the chronology of this particular universe. I no longer care about what the show says about dates and crap. So, for the "Not Unbreakable" universe: The Battle of Canary Wharf was in spring 2006, Ianto stalked his way into TW3 about two to three weeks afterwards and everything else follows. We are now almost exactly one year later. This means that Ianto was 22 when he joined TW3 and he is now 23, will be 24 in August. So, in this universe it is currently April of 2007. Like I said I don't care what it says in the show, I am tired of stressing over it.**

**Now, this chapter doesn't have as much detail as I originally planned but I had to do it differently in order to have it up sooner rather than later. Any confusion let me know.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the character of Patrick, but we won't officially deal with him till much later in the story. If you keep track of John's acting, you should know who Patrick is. I am sorry but I just had to do it.**

**Please enjoy.**

**

* * *

  
**

Ianto drove Jack to the airport to pick up Ms. Stone.

"You don't have to come with me," Jack said as they got into the SUV.

"I know," Ianto leaned over and kissed him "but I figure you could use some support when you tell Ms. Stone the truth, more or less. After all we can't all be calling you Ben. Someone's bound to slip."

Jack sighed, "You're right. Thanks."

"Besides, you don't look like a Ben. You look like a Jack."

Jack smiled and placed his hand on Ianto's thigh. Then Jack's mobile rang, "Hello" he answered. Jack's side of the conversation made Ianto a little…worried. Yes, worried was good, he wasn't suspicious at all.

"Patrick, been awhile. How are—Again? What happened to the money I gave you in December?" Jack sighed heavily "Fine but can it wait? I'm very busy right now. Don't you watch the news? My bay is filled with things that shouldn't be there. I can send you some on Friday. Will you be okay till Friday? Good," he hung up and muttered "ungrateful little brat."

Ianto made a turn and stopped at a red light, it was none of his business really but he had to know, "Who's Patrick?"

Jack blinked, "Did I not tell you about Patrick?"

"I don't believe so."

"I'm sorry. He's one of my sons, looks just like me too, kind of creepy. In fact he's kind of creepy. He only calls when he wants money."

Ianto wanted to say 'Then why do you relent?' but Jack's other children were a touchy subject since he never really talked about them so he said "I don't envy you. I have a cousin who only calls Auntie Llewella when he needs something."

Jack sighed, "Kids, you gotta train them when they're young. Of course, I tend to leave that to their mothers who more often than not poison their minds against me."

"I'm sure that's not true."

"Of course it is. The mothers stop liking me because I don't age and my job, disappearing all the time. I tried to be there for the kids when I could but I guess it wasn't enough. Alice especially doesn't want anything to do with me."

_Yeah, but she takes your money too, doesn't she? _Ianto thought.

Jack continued "my own grandson doesn't even know me as his grandfather and that's the rare occasion Alice lets me visit. I think she feels obligated."

"I'm sure she has her reasons, maybe she'll tell him the truth when he's older." Ten more minutes till the airport, bloody traffic; this conversation was getting uncomfortable.

"Rini and Nick are exceptions. Sarah didn't poison Rini's mind and she didn't turn away or keep Rini away once she knew I couldn't die. And Nick had a mind of his own; he never listened to his mother. He wants to get to know me to make his own conclusions." Jack took a breath and put a hand on Ianto's shoulder, "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Will you turn away from me one day?" he sounded so meek then, afraid.

Ianto looked into his eyes, "I'm more concerned about you leaving me, wanting someone younger. Every day, I get a little older."

Jack smiled, "Ianto, no matter how old you get, I will always see the twenty-two year old Welshman I met in the park one spring night. Now, since you're only one year older since then, you're not going to get old for a long time."

…

* * *

Ianto had only met three of Jack's ex-lovers before; Cataline Stone was the first one he didn't like. There was something weird about her, she seemed very stiff and stoic. Pretty, sure but completely not Jack's type. However she didn't react badly to what Jack had to tell her. She had figured he was more than just a patrolman for a resort and she believed in aliens. After all, the cybermen weren't just in the UK. Jack did introduce Ianto as his partner which made Ianto feel all kinds of wonderful.

Cat blinked, "Partner in what?" well she was blonde.

Jack chuckled, "Life, Cat."

"Oh," her eyes widened "you're—you like men?"

Jack grinned, "I like everything."

Once back in the Hub and Jack had called everyone into the conference room, Ianto made coffee. Without even turning around Ianto knew who suddenly appeared behind him. It wasn't so much that he heard him but that he sensed him.

"So now you show up?" Ianto got down some clean mugs for their guests, "Feeling guilty that Ares played messenger for you?"

Hermes sighed heavily, "I didn't send him. I don't know what his deal is."

Ianto turned around, "Why are you here? I have work to do."

"I'm sorry for what happened last week."

Ianto sighed, "Not your fault. I should have let you leave. Are you okay?"

"I'm more concerned about you. I don't imagine your memories as Ieuan have gone away."

"No, still there…I mean not everything, bits and pieces but I know it really happened" the truth was he remembered everything, every detail and it scared the hell out of him. He wasn't prepared to share that though "it's a bit confusing but I'm okay."

There was some force between them that Ianto couldn't quite define but whatever it was the air was thick with it.

Hermes stepped back "Are you?"

"Yeah, it's like I'm remembering a different person, like a character in a movie."

"Don't lie to me, Ianto. The human soul remains the same in each life, it just grows stronger and wiser…"

"Maybe," Ianto interrupted "but I'm not Ieuan now, I'm Ianto."

"Different name, different details, different personality but in each life your soul is the same and that is what I see. I'm the Guide of Souls, that is all I see, souls. I do not see you how Jack or Owen or anybody sees you."

Ianto sighed, "I don't want to talk about this right now. I'll be fine."

"You're like a cat, Ianto, you don't often show when you're in pain. You've been like that in each life."

Ianto was about to respond when he saw Jack approach them.

"Am I interrupting?"

Hermes tensed for a moment and turned, "Hi Jack, never say that on a plane and never say 'come on dear' in front of a bunch of drunken sailors. Anyway, no you're not interrupting. By the way, Poseidon completely blames Herc for that sea monster thing. I'll be going now," he disappeared in a flash.

Jack arched an eyebrow, "What was that about?"

"No idea," Ianto stared filling mugs.

Jack came closer, "I came to help carry stuff."

Ianto nodded "I haven't been shaky today but it might be wise. Just in case."

Jack stood behind him, wrapped his arms around his waist and rested his chin on his shoulder "How are things between you and Hermes?"

"I have no idea. Can we talk about it later?"

"Yeah, of course; let's get to work. Hey, have I told you that when Hermes was showing me my past lives I found out that you were the original Captain Jack Harkness?"

Ianto turned in his embrace, "No I don't believe you have. But Ares told me that we were on opposite sides in the American Revolution. I will be making us costumes by the way."

Jack grinned and wriggled his eyebrows, "Sounds like fun, let me guess, I'm in blue, you're in red?"

"Spot on. Shall we?"

"Yep," Jack picked up the tray.

"It's my fault you know," Ianto found himself saying.

"What is?"

"I asked you to dance, I should have known better."

"What?" Jack looked at him.

"What?" Ianto blinked "I'm sorry, I don't know where that came from."

…..

* * *

It turned out that there was in fact a Megalodon off the coast of Ireland. Jack was not happy and he had a decision to make. In order to get rid of the Megalodon and stop the signal as quickly as possible he'd have to divide the team. But first, they should probably make sure that it was in fact the Slitheen behind this.

"Okay, first thing we need to do," Jack stood at the head of the table "is make sure we're really dealing with the Slitheen."

Jeanie held up her hand "If it is Raxacoricofallapatorians why are you so sure it's the Slitheen family?"

"I'm not," Jack told her "it's just easier to say."

"Oh, may I talk to them?"

"If it turns out that's what they are. I'd like someone to go undercover and look for clues. I can't because they might know my face."

"I have psychic paper," Jeanie said "it works on almost everything."

"Good but take someone else with you" he looked round at the Torchwood team "now who hasn't done any undercover lately? Not you Nina, you haven't mastered the gun yet and you're a terrible liar."

Nina stuck her tongue out at him.

Jack ignored her and continued "It has to be someone who is really good at lying."

Ianto held up his hand "I hate to brag, sir but I'm quite good at it."

Jack sighed, "I know that."

"I've never done any undercover work and I've barely been in the field so may I give it a try?"

"And he does have good aim," Owen said.

Jack thought about it, those were good points. Jack was sure Ianto would be good at undercover but…he looked Ianto over, his hands weren't shaking, his skin was its normal tone, his eyes weren't red, he seemed fine and his aim was better than Owen's, Tosh's or Gwen's, almost as good as Jack's. Jack sighed again "All right but be careful."

…..

* * *

The next morning…

"Okay Ianto, these aliens exhibit certain signs," Jeanie said reiterating what Jack had already told him, "They're large so they hide in the skins of large humans."

"Right," Ianto nodded, "Jack said the old CEO was a bit husky."

"They also belch and fart a lot because of the compression and the farts smell like calcium decay."

"I knew someone like that once. What if they aren't the aliens Jack thinks they are?"

"We'll soon find out. Turn here."

Ianto did, they were using Owen's car, which Ianto had to admit was brilliant because Owen had a kickass car. He pulled into the parking lot of Apex Communications' office in Newport. He and Jeanie would be posing as investors from "Smith and Jones Investment Company." Ianto had already set up an appointment (damn was he a good liar) and they had created a website to solidify their cover.

Then Ianto thought of something, "If they are aliens will they be able to tell that you're a Time Lady?"

Jeanie furrowed her brows, "I'm not sure exactly. I don't think so, I suppose we'll find out. They can smell adrenaline though so keep calm," she got out of the car "come on."

They walked towards the building, both getting their nerves in order. Ianto held the door open for Jeanie.

"Such a gentleman, Ianto."

"It's how I was raised."

Once inside the first thing they saw was an over weight receptionist.

…..

* * *

_From the diary of Ianto Jones:_

_ I want to start by stating that I have no idea what Jack ever saw in Cataline Stone. Okay, she's pretty enough but personality wise, she's a dead fish. Jack even told me that back in 2002 he had to say "Why don't I take you home and eat your pussy?" to get a decent reaction out of her. Of course Jack does have unusually tastes. I never did that with Lisa or any woman—I never could find the stomach for it. But I digress. This shark thing is finally over, thank Whoever._

_ Jeanie and I went undercover to find out if Jack's suspicions were right about Apex. They were. Then Jack split the team, half of us to deal with the aliens and stop the signal, the other half to deal with the megalodon. Owen, Tosh, Jeanie and I dealt with the aliens, we invited Christopher along to assist. We completed our task rather quickly; Jack and the others are still out at sea. Jeanie and I have been home for about ten minutes haven't gotten the kids yet. Jeanie's in the shower because she got covered in the most goo. I should probably take one, there are alien guts in my hair and yet another suit has been ruined. I'm glad Jack left his coat at home—I don't think RAF coats were meant for water._

_ Gwen called and said they were still a couple hours out but the shark was taken care of and they'd seen the other sharks heading back to where they came from. She wouldn't let me talk to Jack though—said he was indisposed. I figured he must have died somehow; she confirmed it and said they were waiting for him to wake up. I heard pained screams in the background though. I'm sure it was Jack but I didn't ask; Gwen probably would have made up some excuse anyway. I think I'm going to check the basement; I'm tired of waiting for Jack to do it._

….

* * *

It broke Nina's heart to see her brother in such pain. Why did he have to take the missile down there himself? She held his hand and kept her eyes on his face, not his re-growing lower half. Why did he have to be awake for this?

"It's okay Frankie," Nina was the only one who could call him that, his childhood nickname. After their father died he told her, he started going by Jack, short for their surname, Jackson. "I'm here baby brother, I'm here."

He was biting down on a cloth but the screams still came through and his eyes were filled with tears. He spit out the cloth and looked at her "Why are you in here?" there was so much pain in his voice he didn't sound like himself, "I don't want you see me like this."

"You shouldn't be alone Frankie, hush."

"It hurts so much Nina. It's never hurt this much before."

"Well, you were eaten by a shark and then the blast blew you out of the water. It was one hell of a belly flop. You'll be all right though."

Jack screamed again, "just make it stop" he squeezed her hand. It hurt but Nina ignored it.

"Hey, how about I sing you that lullaby Daddy used to sing us?

Hush little baby, don't say a word

Papa's going to but you a mocking bird…

…And if that billy goat runs away

Papa's going to buy you another today."

Jack had stopped screaming, though tears ran down his cheeks, "I miss him, Nina, I miss him so much."

"I know, so do I."

"It's my fault."

"No it's not, Frankie, don't blame yourself. Dad died saving Mom, he was a hero. Though why he still loved her after what happened—"

"What?"

"Frankie, Dad's morals were very twentieth century compared to Mom, it drove her to sleep with other men, that's how we got Gray."

"What?"

"Gray's only our half brother, didn't you know that?"

"No, I was not aware."

….

* * *

_Captain's Log Volume H-18_

_Alien Activity: Raxacoricofallapatorians—three of them but not of the Slitheen family. At least I was right about the species—they were dealt with quickly. They had to be killed, I'm afraid, they would not listen to Jeanie and they tried to kill Tosh—Owen apparently started shooting them first. As for weevils—we weren't exactly keeping track of them this week._

_Alien Technology: Raxacoricofallapatorian computers and space ship—in the North Sea (again). They created a signal to bring all manner of sharks plus a megalodon to the UK. The reason wasn't clear, I think it has something to do with that thing back in '02 or vice versa, we'll never know. The signal was successfully destroyed—thanks to the brilliance of Toshiko and Jeanie and the sharks all went back to where they came from. Still hate them. The megalodon was also destroyed—megalo-who? Okay, that was cheesy._

_Rift Activity: Within acceptable levels and tolerances._

_Security: Allowed Chuck Lewiston (real surname apparently) and Cataline Stone into the Hub to assist with shark thing. Retcon not necessary in either case. Chuck is in America's Starlight and Cat can be trusted—especially since Ianto looked at her with the Ifan Davies glare of death. That's enough to scare anyone into silence._

_Other security issues: SUV keys to be kept on my person at all times till further notice._

_Staff: I had a very painful death; half of me was eaten by the megalodon. I am extremely grateful everything grew back. The team I sent to stop the aliens proved my faith in them. Ianto, Tosh, Owen and Jeanie with the assistance of Lt. Christopher Charleson dealt with the aliens in short order. Owen and Ianto are very skilled with water pistols. It's really very cute. Serena Jackson no longer allowed in the field—she panics too easily._

_Other Staff issues: Ianto Jones on indefinite suspension. While he handled himself well in the field, he broke down when he got home. He got drunk, crashed the SUV and was arrested. He wasn't hurt and nobody else was either, thank goodness. It didn't help that he had his gun on him and he was too drunk to say he was in Torchwood. I left him in jail overnight to teach him a lesson; no charges will be filed though. Ianto will be going to rehab whether he likes it or not. Serena to take over Ianto's duties till he returns._

_Capt. Jack Harkness_

_

* * *

  
_

_From the private journal of Jack Harkness:_

_ I hate sharks; I will always hate sharks, especially the big ones. Even though Nina panics under stress, I'm glad I brought her on the boat—she was a big comfort while my limbs were growing back._

_ Ianto got drunk while I was still coming back to life and he was doing so well. He crashed the SUV into a fence, no one was hurt thank the gods. He was arrested coincidently by PC Andy Davis (that is his name right? I'll ask Gwen later), who probably wouldn't have had another cop not been watching. Gwill decided to "leave the little brat in the pen overnight to cool down and learn a lesson." When I found out what happened, I agreed. However, the only thing on Ianto's rap sheet will be the shop lifting conviction when he was fifteen. He will go into rehab, we'll try the 30 day program first, see how that does._

_ I am so furious but not with Ianto. I'm furious with Ifan Davies who hid the fucking absinthe in the fucking basement. I should have checked the basement like I said I would otherwise Ianto would not have found the "green monster." Stupid sharks, they distracted me._

………

* * *

When the cell door opened Ianto didn't walk out, he was crouched in a corner. He was clearly afraid of Jack.

Jack stood in the doorway and sighed, "Ianto, stand up, I'm not going to hurt you."

"I'm sorry Jack, but it was calling to me, I couldn't resist anymore."

Jack kneeled in front of him, "I understand because I've been there but Ianto, you could have killed someone last night."

I know, oh god," tears streamed out of his eyes "I'm so sorry, please help me Jack, I can't fight this anymore."

Jack wrapped him arms around him, "Yes you can, I know you can and I'm going to help you. We will get through this."

* * *

**I know, not as long as usual but I wanted to get it up before more time passed. Please let me know if anything needs more clarification. I might flashback to more details later on.**

**I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up, I need to figure out how to put it into words. I don't know if John Hart will be in it or not till the next chapter. We'll see.**

**I want you all to know that I do not like him. **

**Please review, the more reviews I get the sooner I update. **

**As incentive I want you all to VOTE on what I should do with John Hart when he shows up. Choice with the most votes wins.**

**Do you want to see him:**

**Choice A. be punched by a Time Lady**

**Choice B. have a pie thrown in his face**

**Choice C. slip on a banana peel**

**Choice D. all of the above**


	38. From the Diary of Ianto Jones

**Okay, gang this is just a little chapter to hold you over till I get the next story line completely fleshed out. I'm still not 100% sure how I'm going to deal with Capt. John Hart but I do know he is going to get embarrassed at some point. I really don't like him that much. I mean I don't hate him so much that I'd whack his fool head off. Mind, Immortal Ianto in "Immortality" wants to.**

**Anyway, this chapter is just a bit off goofy fun. We see what Ianto writes in his diary when he's really bored. I hope you enjoy it.**

**Chapter Title: From the Diary of Ianto Jones**

**Chapter rating: T to be safe**

**Chapter genre: a bit bizarre**

**Note: Ianto's comments about what he's written are in italics. If there's any confusion please let me know. The first paragraph just explains what's going on.**

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**

Ianto had to do the thirty day inpatient program first, so that was thirty days of being away from home. There was a chance he might be let out early if he was lucky. After that he'd have to do the outpatient program for awhile just to be on the safe side. But living in the rehab clinic for a month would involve a lot of boredom and when Ianto was bored he thought of weird things. The first few days proved that as evidenced by what he'd written in his diary.

**From the Diary of Ianto Jones:**

_Songs I feel apply to me and Jack (in no particular order):_

"Every Breath You Take"

"Wherever you go"

"Making Memories of Us"

"Please Remember Me"

"When I'm Sixty-Four"

"I Want Candy"

"The Shoop Shoop Song"

"When You Kiss Me"

"Kiss on My List"

"This I Promise You"—_I occasionally like 'NSync_

"Right Here Waiting for You_"_

"I Knew I Loved You"

"Sex Bomb" _I'm going to sing this for Jack sometime and see what it does to him._

_There's more of course, gods I'm pathetic._

_List of Jacks in the world (real and fictional)_

Jack Harkness

Jack Sparrow

Jack Frost

Jack McCoy

Jack Nicholson

Jack Sprat

Jack Skellington

Jack as in "and the Beanstalk"

Jack as in "this is the house"

Jack "be nimble"

Jack the monkey

Jack Black

Jack who went up the hill with Jill

Jack Jones

Jack O'Lantern

Jack in the Box

Jack Hodgens

Jack Bauer

Jack Kennedy

Jack the Ripper

Jack Tripper

Jack O'Neil

Jack McGee

_I'm sure there are others._

_Favourite quotes:_

"Death cannot stop true love; all it can do is delay it for awhile."—Westly, "The Princess Bride"

"You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept."—Westly, "The Princess Bride"

"I'm going to tie him up, that's all I swear."-Remus (PoA book)

"You wanna conquer the world with monkeys?"—Caspian, _Highlander_, ep. "Revelation 6:8"

"Why is the rum gone?"—Captain Jack Sparrow, _I know how you feel._

"The red dragon will show the way"—proverb

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."—Inigo, "The Princess Bride"

_Sentences out of names. Gods, I'm getting bored._

Ianto= **I**s **A**lways **N**ice **T**o **O**rangutans

Jack=**J**ack **A**lways **C**rushes **K**iwis

Owen=**O**n **W**ednesday **E**ats **N**eapolitan

Tosh=**T**alks **O**f **S**tylish **H**ats

Gwen=**G**ets **W**ild **E**ating **N**ectarines

Rhys=**R**ealises **H**is **Y**arn **S**ucks

Rhys=**R**eads **H**arkness **Y**ellow **S**ubmarine, _why, I don't know._

Andy=**A**ndy **N**eeds **D**aily **Y**ams

Andy=**A**ndy **N**itpicked **D**ragons **Y**esterday _that might get him killed. Serves him right for arresting me. The dragons are my friends._

Martha=**M**akes **A**ndy **R**ead **T**he **H**at **A**rticle _revenge for arresting me._

Doctor=**D**angerously **O**utrages **C**ats **T**o **O**rganise **R**esponsibly _I don't know what this means_

Myfanwy=**M**urders **Y**aks **F**unnily **A**ttacking **N**ebraska **W**ith **Y**arn

Serena= **S**oftly **E**rases **R**ubber **E**lephants **N**eeding **A**pples

Nina=**N**eeds **I**ce **N**ot **A**ftershave

Jeanie= **J**uices **E**ggplant **A**fter **N**icely **I**onising **E**ggs

Janet= **J**ust **A**rrived **N**eeding **E**mergency **T**ablecloths_ the image in my head is really disturbing._

Ifan=**I**s **F**rightening **A**rmy **N**ewbies

Andy Attacks Applesauce

Bananas Bring Brilliant Bratwurst

Cooper Creates Craziness—_well she does_

Doctor Dances Daringly Dangerously—_I wouldn't know but it wouldn't surprise me_

E

Fish Freakishly Frighten Frankie—_This is true_

Gwen Gets Groovy

Harper Helps Harkness_—Often true_

Ifan is Icy—_from what I understand, he was. I'm not._

Jeanie Jumps Jeeps Jokingly

K

L

Myfanwy Murders Monkeys_—Considering she's a carnivore_

Nina Needs Noodles

Owen Organises Organs Outstandingly—_I reckon he does_

P

Quietly quilting Q quizzes Quark—_Now, I've resorted to referencing Star Trek_

Rhys Reads Recipes

Sato Seeks Sauce

Tosh Tenaciously Tackles Textbooks

Urgent Umbrella Underwear

Voldemort victimises Vernon viscously—_argh, I'm using Harry Potter now, get me out of this joint!_

Weevils Wave Wistfully

X

Yan Yells 'Yes!'_—only when Jack touches me but only Hermes can get away with calling me 'Yan'._

Z

_Hermes gave me these mad ideas, apparently his friends in that reality where Torchwood is a TV show do this all the time. Hermes has weird friends, but I find I'm enjoying it. From what I understand they have this bizarre scenario that takes place at Lancelot's house where all these characters from different shows are hanging out acting weird. Apparently, Angel (from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel) whom they call Peaches, obeys nearsighted monkeys and is dancing the mamba in the nude. Duncan MacLeod is doing the Macarena with a lampshade on his head. Hermes refers to these girls as "Holmes and Watson". I'm sure those aren't their real names. It would be interesting to meet these girls. They also apparently do a lot of Mad Libs and come up with some pretty funny ones with their imaginations. Hermes showed me a couple, I particularly like this one: _

Letter of Recommendation- words given by Holmes

Dear Director:

I would like to recommend my **uncle**, **Will**, for the job of assistant **dork** in your **cool** camp. He has just graduated from **Blossom Valley** and has a degree in **swimming**. He has had experience teaching **mice **how to play **checkers**. He is ambitious and **cheesy**. During school vacations, he used to work delivering for **Plants**, our neighbourhood **plant** store. He is a loyal and **mean **person and will make a very **silly **counsellor because he will work like a **gazelle** and he is as smart as a **lion.** He is also as honest as the **cream** is long. I promise you that this **poofy fairy** will make a very **feathery** counsellor for your **cheese.**

_Here's one that Jack and I came up with once when we were doing Adult Mad Libs:_

Is He Too Selfish? _We both gave the words, his condition for playing._

Naturally, people have to **shoot **for themselves, but is your **sexy **guy **swimmingly **selfish? Take this **smooth **quiz to figure out if he's **dangerously **a good guy…or just a whiny **colourful Tardis.**

It's your anniversary and he:

Rubs your **cock **for **5067 **minutes but complains the whole time.

Asks if you can postpone your anniversary **percolator **until tomorrow night. The Super **plane **is on tonight.

**Angrily **makes reservations at your favourite restaurant—for you and **42** of his friends.

Forgets important **weevils**—he's never been very good at remembering **dinosaurs.**

Answer: He's a man—of course he's going to be a selfish **ball gown.**

_Rhyming:_

Gwen Grin

Jack Snack

Jack Attack

Mowin' Owen

Sharper Harper

Posh Tosh

Lotto Sato

Weevil Retrieval

Risen Mitten

Teeny Rini

Leanie Jeanie

Mock Cock

Life Knife

My Tie

Drivin' Ifan

Rhys Grease

Super Cooper

Handy Andy

Jack Smack

Cock Sock

Ball Call

Dick Trick

Dick Kick

Silly Willy_—well, it's clear what's on my mind_

Gwill Grill

Mad Cad

Book Hook

French Pinch

Herm's Terms_—no idea what they are still and he hates being called Herm, the hypocrite._

Tsar Bar

_ Okay, I need to stop rhyming so much, it's getting stupid. I should probably be in bed as it's after lights out but I can't sleep. It's been four days and I'm already suffering from cabin fever, near enough anyway. Mind, Jack visits every day at noon and he brought the kids today after school. That was nice, Rini drew me a picture of a tiger and a horse with a heart around them. Apparently it's supposed to be me and Jack if we were animals. She's a good little artist. Mind, if I were an animal, I think I'd be a domestic cat rather than a tiger. Cory didn't talk much; I think he's still upset with me for being an idiot. I really need to stop drinking, I really realise that now. If I keep up this stupidity, they might take Cory away from me. I can't have that, he's been through enough. I've let him down and I feel terrible. When he was with his mother, she was high all the time and then that "boyfriend" of hers._

_ Next time I see Cory, I'll talk to him but what I'll say I don't quite know yet. Jack told me he's been quiet a lot since that morning after the accident. Apparently Cory was so furious when he found out I was arrested he didn't eat his breakfast and he knocked over his bucket of building blocks and didn't pick them up for an hour. You know he's upset when he doesn't clean right away. I'm a terrible father, I just think the gods that Jack is here to help. I don't know what I'd do without him. I love him so much, he completes me, as cliché as that is. What I felt for Lisa is nothing compared to what I feel for Jack. I'm going to change the subject before I start using more clichés. It's not like I'm completely gay. Well I'm not._

_ My counsellor Major Theodore Jackson is the coolest old person I've ever met, after __Nain__ Kylia and Tad-cu Taliesin that is. Major Jackson is from Chicago originally, he and his late wife retired here in 1970. Apparently during WWII he fell in love with Cardiff and swore one day he'd settle here. At first I thought the only weird thing was that he's dating Owen's grandmother but today I found out that he knew both my grandfathers. Was friends with them too. I find that odd as Ifan and Taliesin didn't get along that well from what I've heard. I'll have to ask the Major about it. I wonder if he knows about Torchwood, Taliesin did. It wouldn't surprise me if he does which would mean he might know about Jack as well. I'll have to find out. Jack said he never met him before but Jack's met so many people, surely he can't keep track of all of them. When they met the first day I was here, the Major said that Jack looked just like him at that age. Jack just rose his eyebrows and grinned. I said that maybe they just reused the mould but broke it when they made Jack. _

_ Speaking again of Jack, I do have a new way to make him cringe; I just have to call him by his given name. It's great fun. He did get me a new iPod for agreeing to go to rehab. The one problem is they're not allowed, but as my best friend, the god of thieves says, 'it's only illegal if you get caught.'_

_

* * *

_

**So maybe this is what _I_ do when _I'm_ bored. I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.**

**Well I hope you like it and I'll have the next chapter "Ghosts of the Past" up as soon as it's finished. Here are the songs again only with their respective artists.**

"Every Breath You Take"—The Police

"Wherever you go"—The Calling

"Making Memories of Us"—Keith Urban

"Please Remember Me"—Tim McGraw or John Barrowman

"When I'm Sixty-Four"—The Beatles

"I Want Candy"—Bow Wow Wow

"The Shoop Shoop Song"—Betty Everett

"When You Kiss Me"—Shania Twain

"Kiss on My List"—Hall & Oates

"This I Promise You"—_ '_NSync

"Right Here Waiting for You_"_—Richard Marx or John Barrowman

"I Knew I Loved You"—Savage Garden

"Sex Bomb"—Tom Jones

**I have way more songs I feel apply to Jack and Ianto but I'll list those some other time.**


	39. Ghosts of the Past

**Hey y'all. I had wanted to do this storyline in one chapter but that would have taken too long. Too much in my head. Oh well. I hope you like it anyway.**

**BTW, this chapter contains the story of how Jack and Hercules got eaten by a sea monster.**

**WARNING: We torment Ianto just a little bit more in this chapter but after that he'll recover and we'll take a break from tormenting the poor boy for awhile. You see, I torment him because I know he can handle it, especially with Jack there to lean on.**

**Oh yeah and I don't own Hercules and company, etc., etc,**

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"Ghosts of the Past"

Part One

He hadn't set out to find Gray Jackson, that wasn't his intention at all. Why should he care anymore anyway? He had at first helped Jack try to find his brother but after the time loop, Jack left him and married some short annoying blonde. Screw him. Then Jack had a kid, screw him again. But he wasn't about to break up Jack's marriage, he may have been a lot of things—a home wrecker wasn't one of them. Although, he did enjoy sending slime filled boxes to the annoying little blonde. Then the Agency did something with Jack and ordered him, Lt. Bartholomew Dangerfield to deal with his family promising a promotion. Bart underestimated Major Sarah Wilson, the annoying blonde. She was like a mother bear. Times ten.

"And who exactly," she growled as she stood on his balls, holding his own sword to his throat "are you calling an annoying blond?" his hair had been bleached at the time.

In the end she and her baby got away. Embarrassed he'd been outfoxed by a girl, he lied to the agency, said he got them with her own disintegrator gun. He never did find out what they planned for Jack's mother. When Jack realised what the Agency was up to he stole a Chula warship and disappeared. Bart eventually found out Jack settled in the 21st century. Who needs him anyway?

But when he found Gray Jackson while tracking some diamonds he was all too happy to use this bit of luck to his advantage. Maybe Jack would take him back if he presented his brother to him. There turned out to be a hitch in his plans though upon rescuing Gray from the desert planet he was on; he never expected the ungrateful brat to turn on him. Bart then found the diamonds but before he could open anything Gray told him to send them to where Jack was. Bart, now calling himself Captain John Hart would go there and ask for Jack's help in finding some "bombs" and then tell Jack about Gray, peaking his curiosity. If Jack didn't follow him to the future then they would return a few months later and implement Gray's "plan B." First Bart sent his blowfish lackey through the rift with the canisters and told him to plant them in various spots around Cardiff. Bart himself would show up a couple days later.

* * *

…...

Ianto had found out Jack's birthday from Nina and was planning a party. It wasn't till December but he had nothing better to do right now. It was lunch time and planning a party months in advance was better than writing crazy things in his diary. At least in his mind. Translated into Earth terms (because Jack wasn't born on Earth) his birthday was December first, 5067. That would make Jack negative 3060 but they wouldn't be celebrating Jack's age, especially since he'd been alive for over a century. Talk about a fire hazard.

Ianto was also trying to figure out Jack's Zodiac signs. His sun sign was Sagittarius, that was easy enough but the moon and rising signs would be a bit difficult. According to Ianto's calculations under the Chinese Zodiac, 5067 will be the year of the Pig. He had figured this by taking 5067 and subtracting twelve a bunch of times till he got something he could work with. As it turns out, Ianto's own birth year 1983 was also the year of the Pig. They were both fire signs and they were both pigs. Weird how that worked out.

Now, what kind of party to throw for Jack? Something themed perhaps? Ianto was brought out of his thoughts when Major Jackson approached him in the common/visiting area.

"Your Jack called, said he'd be a little late today, something about work-related fishing."

"That's fine," Ianto wondered what was going on. Work-related fishing?

"Now, Ianto, you wanted to hear some war stories?"

"Oh yes sir" Ianto pulled out a chair for the eighty-something aviator "you were in the US Air Force, right?"

"That's right, only back then we were still part of the army. The Army Air Corps; that was us."

Ianto liked Major Theodore Jackson, despite the weirdness of him dating Owen's grandmother. Major Jackson treated Ianto like a person as opposed to a patient. He had also been friends with both Ianto's grandfathers and knew some really entertaining stories.

Major Jackson leaned back in his chair, "Let me tell you about the time the three of us were out drinking with Brigadier Lethbridge-Stuart."

Ianto's eyes went wide, "Really? Of U.N.I.T?"

"The very same. It was 1975, we'd been discussing the rift, my son had been missing for about five years by then and Ifan suspected the Rift had nabbed him. In 1990 he showed up in Chicago but that's another story. Anyway the four of us were at a pub in London. I knew we had to stop soon because Ifan was getting surly and Taliesin was getting giddy. Alistair was hardly drinking at all, he had a dinner date at the palace the next day. I was wondering how the Cubs were doing, it was baseball season, even though I'm a hockey man myself. I guess I was feeling homesick for Chicago. All of a sudden there was a loud noise, sort of a screeching sound…"

Ianto was listening intently to the Major's story when he saw someone that made him automatically duck under the table.

Major Jackson bent down "That's not even the scary bit."

"Sorry," Ianto whispered "do you see that big burly black man over there?"

The Major turned and then looked back "The one built like an American football player?"

"Only big burly black man here isn't he? If he asks, I'm not here."

"All right. Who is he?"

"Larry Hallet, Lisa's brother. He sees me, he'll kill me."

"Then I'll leave you to your hiding. We'll pick up the story later," he stood and walked away.

Ianto cowered under the table knowing full well he should be a man and face Larry; tell him how sorry he was for what had happened to Lisa. For what he had done to her and that he was getting help now. These thoughts in mind he gathered up his courage and crawled out from under the table to come face to face with Larry's knees.

Ianto looked up and smiled, "Hi Larry, long time."

Larry loomed over him, muscular arms crossed and said in his 'if Barry White were English' voice "You know that table don't have a cloth, right?"

Ianto stood and dusted himself off "Oh yes, so there's not. That was pointless."

"What are you doing here?" Larry asked "you a patient?"

"Yes actually I am, been here almost a week now."

"About time you get help. Why were you under there? Did you think I came here to see you?" Larry's deep voice was rather mesmerising.

Ianto blinked "No of course not, I was just…"

"Uh huh. Lydia's here."

Lydia was Lisa's younger sister and had a bad crack addiction.

"She is?" Ianto said "I didn't know that. How long has she been here?"

"Since last night. We had her transferred here from London. She had a relapse."

"Oh."

"Did you think I was going to beat you up if I saw you?"

Ianto sighed "I'd deserve it after how I treated Lisa. I hid on reflex."

"She told me you were sick. She found the paper saying you were bipolar."

"That's no excuse," Ianto held Larry's gaze—he had Lisa's eyes "I loved her though. She broke up with me that morning. Told me I needed help and wouldn't be with me till I got it." He wished he could tell Larry about what happened after the battle, how Ianto had tried everything to save her but he knew he couldn't. The Hallett family must never know the truth.

"I knew she was going to break up with you. She told me the week before. What made you decide to get help?"

Ianto took a breath, "It's a long involved story but mainly I got custody of my son and I work for the Institute here in Cardiff." Larry didn't know what Torchwood did but he knew Ianto had a son.

"Well it's good you're finally getting help. Lisa would be happy." Larry was silent for a moment, seemed to be mulling something over "Did she tell you where she went that week?"

Ianto thought about it "Said she had a doctor's appointment, just a check up. Why?"

"She was pregnant."

It took Ianto a moment to fully register what had come out of Larry's mouth and when he did the walls suddenly seemed to be closing in on him "What?" he croaked.

"She had an abortion though, didn't feel it was the right time in either of your lives."

Ianto's breath came harder and quicker, he couldn't believe this "She didn't tell me." Then everything went black, Ianto felt himself falling and it felt like his brain was being thrown against his skull.

Ianto opened his eyes to see Larry and the Major leaning over him.

"You okay, sonny?" the Major asked helping him to sit.

Ianto scrambled up but had to steady himself on a chair, his head was throbbing. He looked at Larry "You did not just tell me that."

"I did."

"You're lying."

"Why would I lie? Now if you'll excuse me, I have to see my other sister." He walked away and passed by Jack who finally showed up.

Jack came over to Ianto and the Major, "Was that Barry White?"

"Barry White's dead Jack" Ianto sank into a chair "that was Larry Hallett, Lisa's brother."

"Oh. What'd he want?"

"Lisa's younger sister is a guest here," Ianto put his head down on the table, "my head hurts."

Major Jackson whispered something to Jack and then said "Ianto after we get you checked over in the infirmary you two can use my office to talk privately if you want."

…

* * *

Fifteen minutes later found Jack and Ianto in Major Jackson's office, Ianto with an ice pack on his head. Thankfully he didn't have a concussion, just a bump. The Major had told Jack Ianto had fainted on the hardwood floor. He knew it had something to do with Lisa's brother. Jack had gotten there in time to hear Ianto accuse Larry of lying and Larry saying that he wasn't. Ianto had already gotten up off the floor by then.

"So," Jack said "the English Barry White is Lisa's brother?"

"You heard him speak?"

"Just a little."

"Thank-you, I'm not the only one who compares his voice to Barry White. Doesn't he have one of the sexiest voices ever?"

"Larry or Barry?"

"Both I guess but I meant Larry."

Jack nodded, "Very sexy but should you be thinking that about your late girlfriend's brother?"

"Since when do you care about stuff like that?"

"I don't know," Jack shrugged and thought back to the conversation he had with Nina that morning "Nina says our dad had twentieth century morals, thinks he might actually be from the twentieth century." Nina had said she sometimes heard him mumbling to himself about how crazy "this stupid century" was, referring of course to the fifty-first. He would also rave on about Chicago style pizza, now that Jack thought about it and it was impossible to have even heard about Chicago style pizza in those days. Even if Dad had been from Chicago.

"Is that possible?" Ianto asked.

Jack wondered that himself "I'll believe anything these days."

"Tell me about it," after a second of silence Ianto said "Major Jackson said his son was missing for awhile, suspects the Rift took him sometime in the early seventies and he reappeared in Chicago in 1990."

That would be weird. Jack could have sworn he saw his father dead but his memories had been messed with so many times…"What's his name?"

"I don't know, it would explain why you look so much like Major Jackson though, if he were your grandfather. But your dad's dead isn't he?"

Jack sighed heavily "Like I said, I'll believe anything these days. Can we talk about something else?" Jack needed to do some detective work. Fun times.

"Yeah, of course."

"Sorry I was late today, there's a blowfish running around. The others are tracking it."

"Fun" Ianto took a breath. "Larry told me that Lisa had an abortion the week before the battle."

And that explained why Ianto fainted, Jack put an arm around him, "Ianto, I'm sorry." What else could he say?

"Good thing as it turned out—unless the cybermen wouldn't have taken her if she was pregnant."

That was a good question but Jack doubted it, "I don't know if it would have mattered to them."

Ianto rested his head on Jack's chest "Maybe. It was my fault they took her though."

"How so?"

"When she broke up with me I tried to talk her out of it. I was going to ask her to marry me. She started to walk away, I grabbed her arm, a bit too tightly. She slapped me and ran away. Not long after the cybermen appeared and then the daleks. I tried to find her but I didn't till everything was over. Maybe if I had gone after her sooner."

"Ianto, it's not your fault," Jack rubbed his back.

"If she hadn't run from me, if I hadn't been such a bastard to her, driven her away…"

"Then maybe you'd both be dead and Cory wouldn't have a father. Ianto, you need to let it go and stop blaming yourself. Love makes men do stupid things."

"I'm sorry, I know but you know what it's like to lose someone you love."

Jack remembered Sarah and the other loves he'd lost. He kissed the top of Ianto's head, "Yeah, I know. I know."

* * *

TORCHWOOD…TORCHWOOD…TORCHWOOD…

Jack decided to go home for the day after his visit with Ianto. Blowfish were mostly harmless—the team could handle it and they'd call if they needed him. Jack wanted to spend the evening with Rini and Cory. Then he would look into Major Jackson's past and see who his son was. Jack already knew from Ianto that Major Theodore Jackson had been a fighter pilot with the U.S. in WWII and had fallen in love with Cardiff when he was here. He and his late wife settled in Cardiff in 1970. Perhaps that was when his son disappeared. Major Jackson was also from Chicago. Was that just a coincidence? Ianto had also told Jack that the Major had been friends with both Ifan Davies and Taliesin Jones which was just plain weird. Jack didn't remember Ifan ever mentioning him but then he never much talked to Jack about his life outside work anyway.

Jack tried to remember if his dad ever mentioned his grandfather's name or any stories for that matter. As he recalled Franklin Sr. rarely talked of his family, there must have been something though. Jack sat on the couch and flipped through the Jackson family photo album. It was his copy of the original which always stayed with his mother. Before Sarah escaped the Agency with Rini she'd grabbed as many of their photo albums as she could fit into a bag.

The first picture he came to was of the four of them on the beach, Jack, Nina and their parents. Mom looked like she may have been pregnant with Gray at the time. Jack looked about six and Nina looked about twelve. Dad was holding a sparkler in his hand and the caption read 'Fourth of July'. Then Jack remembered something his dad had told him about the Fourth of July.

_"When I was growing up, every July 4__th__, your Grandpa Teddy read from the Declaration of Independence. Actually, he didn't even read it, he recited it, had it memorised."_

"Grandpa Teddy?" Jack leaned back "no way." He glanced at his watch, these thoughts would have to wait, it was time to pick up the kids from school.

He picked them up in Ianto's new Audi SUV; he had let the team use the Torchwood SUV. Ianto of course had been the first one to drive his new car before he entered rehab. If he hadn't been the first one to drive it he might have gotten upset. He named it Angelica, apparently it was female and apparently Ianto named his cars. He called the Torchwood SUV 'James'.

"What do you two want for dinner?" he asked once everyone was settled in the car "Auntie Nina and Jeanie will be working late tonight."

"Something healthy," Cory said.

"We had something healthy last night," Rini pointed out with a roll of her eyes "Can we have pizza Daddy? Or hamburgers?"

"What would you like Cory?" Jack pulled away from the school.

"I'm interested in trying tofu."

What was wrong with that child? Jack had to wonder; maybe it was just a phase, this health food kick. Cory was very intelligent for his age, advanced in reading and maths and apparently very talented on the school's piano. He'd be getting his own for his birthday in September. He was a prodigy but socially his teachers felt he was in the right form. He could have a form of autism like the Brian Man, Jack supposed but they'd have to look into it. Jack would have to suggest it to Ianto first of course. Mind his behaviour could have something to do with the fact that he was violated by his mother's boyfriend. Jack would have to ask Ianto's sister Edythe the therapist what she thought.

"How 'bout this," Jack said "we'll go to the shops and compromise. We can all try tofu and get something really sweet and gooey for dessert."

Cory nodded, "That's fine, only can I have carrot cake instead?"

"We can do that. How's that sound Rini?"

"I don't like carrot cake," she pouted.

"We won't get you carrot cake then. You can choose your own dessert."

"I don't like tofu."

"Have you ever tried it?" Cory took the words right out of Jack's mouth.

"No," Rini admitted.

"Then how do you know you don't like it?"

…...

Once the kids were in bed and asleep that night Jack was happily distracted from his detective work by a sword fighting lesson from Ares.

"You have to be light on your feet and never let go of your sword," for the fifth time Ares had disarmed Jack.

"Yes, I know, I know; first thing Menelaus told me when he gave me the sword. Hey," Jack had a thought and he had to ask "Is he in the Elysian Fields or has he been reincarnated?"

Ares leaned against the wall—they had moved the dining table out of the way to make room to practise "Menelaus has Hero Status."

"What does that mean?"

"He's kind of like a spirit guide but he can be corporeal. Basically what I mean is that you can ask him for guidance and if necessary call him into service. If you like I can call him here and he can teach you. Or rather you can call him here since Gwyn ap Nuad doesn't like me to use my powers in his territory."

"Who's that?" Jack asked.

"Welsh god of war, the territorial twat," Ares said with a sneer.

It would be nice to see Menelaus again, Jack thought and he could introduce him to Ianto "How do I call Menelaus here?"

"Light three candles in Spartan colours or you can use white. Light some incense, frankincense or pomegranate and call his name, ask to see him, state your reasons. Simple. But first I want to know how exactly you and Jerkules managed to get eaten by that Scylla."

"Is that what it was? Well, both sides had called a ceasefire because I think it was the Festival of Hestia."

Ares nodded, "Requirement, Aunt Hestia hates war."

"Anyway…"

…..

* * *

Odysseus' Camp, shoreline

Jack, the Doctor and the three women were walking along the beach because quite simply they had nothing better to do. The Kings of Greece were at a feast honouring Hestia. Because Agamemnon had killed Jack, the time travellers were better off not attending.

"Jack, why has Menelaus given you that sword?" the Doctor indicated Jack's new sword which he wore at his side, despite having only a vague idea of how to use it.

Jack grinned "He likes me."

"I know but why?"

"You're just jealous he didn't give you a sword."

"I am not."

Martha smirked and whispered to the others "Boys and their toys."

Nina and Jeanie giggled but stopped abruptly when Jack and the Doctor glared at them.

Jack sighed, "Honestly, he offered to share his bed with me and I declined. I want to be faithful to Ianto and Menelaus respects me for that."

"Oh," the Doctor said "in that case, my respect for you has risen as well."

A shadow suddenly loomed over them. Jack had his back against the water and he quite frankly didn't want to turn around. Nina screamed and the Doctor's eyes were wide.

"Oh dear."

Jack took a breath, turned around and pulled his sword. His gun was with his coat which he had stored in the Tardis "Girls get back, what the fuck is that?"

The Doctor stood next to him "Language, Jack."

"Sorry, Hermes did say you're a family show."

"What?"

"I'll tell you about it later."

"It's obviously some sort of sea creature."

"No really?"

"Sarcasm Captain doesn't become you either."

The creature was gigantic; it resembled a hydra only it was in the water.

Jack held out his sword "I wonder who irked Poseidon."

The creature began to lower its long neck towards them when something whizzed over Jack's head. The disc stuck the creature's neck and bounced off. The creature though sank back into the water.

Jack and the Doctor turned around to see the three girls and who Jack was sure was Hercules, Xena, who now held her chakram and their sidekicks, Iolaus and Gabrielle.

Hercules stepped forward "Are you all right? I'm Hercules."

Jack grinned "Yeah, we're fine. Hello, I'm Captain Jack Harkness."

"Stop it," said the Doctor.

"I'm just saying 'Hello'," he winked at Gabrielle. It was the Gabrielle before she cut her hair and still wore green.

Gabrielle smiled and blushed.

When all the introductions were over Jack said to Hercules and company, "I figured that's who you all were."

"How?" Iolaus asked.

"Let's just say, I have friends in high places."

It was then the creature appeared again. Gabrielle got Nina, Martha and Jeanie farther up the shore.

Jack faced the thing with his sword, remembering the end of "Pirates of the Caribbean II". Mind, he wouldn't know till the third movie came out if Sparrow survived or not. Hercules stood beside him.

"What are you thinking, Captain?"

"Making like you and killing it from the inside. I can't die. Long story," he added to the look Hercules gave him.

"Good idea. It's after me anyway," Hercules put his arms around Jack "get down."

"I'm flattered and everything but I don't think now's the…" the next thing Jack knew he and Hercules were sliding down the monster's throat.

When Jack landed in the stomach and got his head above the fluid he took in his surroundings. There was a rotting boat and what looked to be a statue of Hades also in the monster's stomach.

"Hercules!" he called.

"Right here," Hercules popped up next to him "last time I was in one of these things there was some sort of parasite swimming around. Are you okay?"

"Talk about the water slide from hell."

"What?"

"Never mind but I think I lost my sword. It must have slipped out of my hand."

"Well, we won't need it. Come on up here," he swam to the boat.

"But Menelaus gave it to me."

Once they both sat on the boat, Hercules said "Why?"

"He likes me."

"Oh" Hercules was looking around, probably trying to figure out the best way to kill the thing.

"So, Hercules, who do you think is in the right? Greece or Troy?"

"I don't think war was the answer so I'm not taking sides. They're both wrong."

"Menelaus wants to give up but I think he's afraid of his brother."

"I know. I think Xena's on Troy's side."

"Won't help. Greece will still win. According to the people I've talked to Helen loves Menelaus but Paris enchanted her or something. Menelaus doesn't want to believe Helen left on her own."

Hercules sighed, "I know but he may have to accept it and move on."

"Wait a minute, Xena doesn't like Ares right?"

"Talk about a change of subject. She hates him why?"

"Ares is on Troy's side why would she want to be on the same side as him?"

"Good point and if Ares is on Troy's side then they must be the wrong side. But Agamemnon is evil and went to war for all the wrong reasons. Now, stay here." He began ripping the stomach wall.

"Can I come? I saw this in "Hercules and the Lost City."

"What?"

"Long story. Anyway, I don't want to stay here. If I die do you know long it'll take me to come back to life?"

Hercules sighed "All right, come on."

"You know," Jack picked up the conversation once they were out of the monster and had reached the surface of the water "Ares isn't a bad guy once you get to know him."

"You know Ares?"

"I like to consider him a friend. Well in the future anyway, that's where I'm from. Long story."

"Let's just get back to shore."

"Yeah, before the sharks get here. I hate sharks."

…..

* * *

"So, we swam back to shore. If you want to know what the others were doing while we were in the monster you'll have to ask one of them."

Ares stretched his arms "Thank-you."

"For what?"

"Telling Hercules I'm not a bad guy."

"Well you're not."

Ares smiled and made something appear in his hand, "You are officially one of my favourites and under my protection." He handed the pendant to Jack, it was iron crossed swords, one of Ares' symbols.

Jack put it over his neck "Thanks."

"You're welcome. Now, I have to be going but I'll see you later."

"Sure, hey, why'd you tell Ianto about the Revolutionary War?"

Ares shrugged "Felt like it. You should tell him the rest, I know Hermes showed you your past lives."

"I don't remember every detail though."

"Try." With that he was gone.

Jack sighed, "When you're friends with gods, hmm, make an interesting book." He set his sword down and got to work on calling Menelaus. He placed the three white candles on the dining table and lit them. They didn't have any incense but they did have a pomegranate scented candle so he lit that as well.

"King Menelaus of Sparta, it's me, Captain Jack Harkness. I'd like to see you, if you don't mind. We can catch up, and you can meet Ianto tomorrow, he'd like that."

The room suddenly felt warmer and a figure materialised before Jack. It was Menelaus.

Menelaus smiled "I was hoping you would call me sometime. I look forward to meeting your Ianto."

"And he'll be happy to meet you," Jack held out his hand and they greeted with a warrior's handshake. Then Menelaus kissed his cheeks.

"It does me good to see you again, Jack. It's been some three thousand years for me." Menelaus looked a little older, with streaks of silver in his hair and beard, more crinkles at his eyes but still hot.

"Not so long for me I'm afraid," Jack told him "it's good to see you again too. How long can you stay?"

"As long as you need me, how long that is all depends."

"Well, as long as you can stay till tomorrow afternoon so you can meet Ianto. So, Ares was teaching me how to use this," Jack picked up his sword "thank-you by the way for having Hermes get this back to me."

Menelaus nodded, "You are quite welcome. Would you like me to finish the lesson?"

"That would be great thanks. Hey, I just realised you're speaking English."

"I am; part of the requirement. It's a most interesting language."

Jack laughed, "You're telling me," his mobile rang then. It was Gwen. "Yeah, Gwen," he answered.

"Jack, we could use your help. The blowfish man has stolen a sports car. We're tracking him but we're not sure what to do when we catch him. Jeanie doesn't remember learning about them. Is it too late to get a baby-sitter?"

Jack sighed, he really hated fish, "No, I'll catch up to you," he hung up.

"Menelaus, I've gotta go to work. Can you look after the children?"

He nodded "Of course."

"Thanks the password is everlasting gobstopper."

"Everlasting gobstopper?" he repeated.

"Right, so they know you're a good guy. I'll be back as soon as I can."

TBC…

* * *

** I know, I know, why'd I stop? So, I can have an update for the two year anniversary of posting this story, which is June 13****th****. Can you believe it? I'm not sure when I'll have the next bit done, I'm going to Texas again on the 21****st**** and I have to get ready. I'll be there for awhile though but no worries I will have computer and internet access. I will continue work on my stories.**

**I know, I keep saying I don't like John Hart and I made him seem like an okay guy in that first bit, like he was the victim. Maybe he is. I still want to embarrass him though, maybe torment him a little. Ianto's been tormented enough for awhile, don't ya think? It's someone else's turn. **

**Let me know what you think, please.**

**TTFN**


	40. Ghosts of the Past Pt Two

**Hello. So sorry it's been so long but I was in Texas and mainly distracted by baby-sitting. I would have liked to update this while I was down there but…things. And too many ideas for too many stories are in my head. Anyway, here's the update now.**

**A/N: Okay, some of it is told by way of Jack's journal. I'm sorry for lack of details and action but I did not feel like rewriting KKBB. I don't like rewriting episodes…yes, I know I did "Meat" like twice…sort of. Rewrote practically the whole thing in "Immortality" but that was bothersome.**

**Still I hope you like this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own John Barrowman or GDL (they're both taken! And John's gay and too old for me). While they do not and likely will not ever make an actual appearance, they are mentioned.**

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* * *

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"Ghosts of the Past"

Part Two

Ianto had weird dreams that night, very weird and very frightening. He couldn't quite make out what he saw but he knew he didn't like it. Some of the things he could make out scared him the most. He saw daleks in a sky filled with many round objects, planets maybe. He heard the numbers 456 repeated and he felt suffocated as he lay in Jack's arms. He woke breathing heavily and covered in sweat. "What the hell?" he instinctively reached for his mobile to call Jack. He tried the house first; Jack said he'd stay with the kids tonight unless the team needed help catching that blowfish.

"Hello" a strange male voice answered.

"Who are you?" Ianto said more awake now and suspicious "This is Ianto. Where's Jack?"

"Ianto? Oh yes, I'm Menelaus. Jack left the children in my care."

"What?"

"Um… everlasting gobstopper."

Ianto relaxed somewhat, "All right, you have the pass word. Are you _the_ Menelaus?"

"Yes, Jack called me here to help with his sword fighting lessons and then he was called away."

"So you're not dead?"

"Yes and no. It's a bit complicated."

"Oh, hold on" Ianto hushed as someone passed by the room. A presence materialised next to him. What did he want? Thankfully Ianto had a private room. He spoke into the phone, "Thank-you Menelaus for looking after the kids. I have to go now, tell Jack I called, please."

"I will, I look forward to meeting you."

"Yes, me too. Good-night."

"Good-night Ianto."

Ianto hung up and turned to Hermes "yes?"

Hermes shrugged "You had a nightmare and Jack is busy dealing with stuff." He was wearing blue pyjamas that looked like they belonged on the set of "I Love Lucy".

Ianto looked him up and down "Nice Pjs, you and Sweetness don't wear matching do you?"

"Heavens no...usually. You called her Sweetness?"

"Easier than remembering whichever name she goes by, Jessica, Sarah, Thea. I figure we should all call her Sweetness, that way we'll all know who we're talking about."

"Good idea, I like that. Anyway, I know what your nightmare was about."

Ianto sighed "What?"

"The TV show."

"Oh, so then it won't happen here?"

"If you're careful."

"Is there anything else?"

Hermes took a breath, "Don't you think we should talk?"

"Is now really a good time? I've got other things on my mind. I just found out Lisa had an abortion before she died. And I don't even know how I'm supposed to feel."

"That's what we could talk about."

Ianto looked at him sharply "Did you know she was pregnant?"

"I swear I didn't. But as much as I disapprove of abortions, it is a good thing she got one."

"How do you figure?"

Hermes met his eyes, "You didn't need another child in your life at the time, Ianto. I don't think you could have handled it."

Ianto looked away "You're probably right," he felt Hermes' hand over his.

"I am sorry she didn't tell you. She should have told you, talked things through."

Ianto pulled his hand away, "She was probably scared" he said bitterly. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths; still feeling Hermes' presence he said "I haven't seen you since that day in the Hub. Where have you been?"

Hermes shrugged, "Doing god things."

"Oh," Ianto bit his lip and shoved away the image of biting Hermes' lip "I'm surprised you didn't come to chastise me for driving drunk and being arrested."

"You were getting enough grief from everyone else, didn't think you'd want it from me too."

Ianto stood and took some more deep breaths. He paced a few moments before coming to a decision. He looked at Hermes "I lied to you before. I do remember everything about being Ieuan."

"I know," Hermes said simply "You can't lie to the master of liars."

There was that force between them acting up again. The air was so thick with it, it was almost suffocating. "It's like I'm two people, Hermes. It's so confusing and bloody terrifying. I don't know what do. Ianto loves Jack and you but Ieuan just loves you."

Hermes stood and took his hands, "Ieuan doesn't know Jack; perhaps he should get to know him."

Ianto sniffed back the tears that were threatening to overtake him, "How can a person, a mortal love two people at the same time. I don't understand and why do I have to be in love with two immortals."

"Jack's only immortal-ish, he'll die one of these days, five billion fifty-something, I think. Okay, now's not the time." Hermes sighed "Ianto, I don't know. How can an immortal fall in love with a mortal or two in my case? Mysteries of life. Oh gods, now that song is suck in my head, 'Mysteries of life, screaming to be solved, here we stand in our trench coats dying to get involved.'"

Ianto stared at him horrified and Ianto would never admit that he knew what Hermes was singing. He grabbed Hermes' shoulders and shook him "Hermes! I can't believe you; must you always ruin a serious moment by saying something ridiculous?"

Hermes grabbed Ianto's arms to stop the shaking "Defence mechanism!"

And then their lips came together, rather passionately. Ianto didn't know if he was Ianto or Ieuan but for the moment he didn't really care.

* * *

TORCHWOOD...TORCHWOOD...TORCHWOOD...TORCHWOOD...TORCHWOOD...

Meanwhile...

"There's something in his pocket," Jeanie said once Jack and Owen got the blowfish on the autopsy table. Jeanie dug into its right pocket and pulled out a triangle thing, "It's a device of some sort; I think it might be a key or something. I'll have to examine it."

Jack nodded "Then examine it. I wanna know what this fish was doing here and why it was carrying around a suspicious alien device." Jack shook his head, "Wait, do I normally talk like that? That was kind of cheesy wasn't it?"

Owen sighed, "Jack, when you see Ianto tomorrow, fuck him in a broom cupboard or something. You need some and you're driving us all crazy."

Jack rubbed his chin, that wasn't a terrible idea. Though, Ianto might disagree, he was all about propriety after all. They then got word about a body that happened to be near some recent rift activity.

…...

They had figured that someone or something had come through the Rift and then grabbed and pushed the dead man—before he was dead of course. Unless they were talking zombies here… if the gods existed then it stood to reason that other supernatural beings existed too. Jack didn't want to think about it. That aside, all they needed was another bloody Rift-hopper. Was Jack going to get any sleep tonight?

At least Ianto should be sleeping soundly Jack thought as they made their way back to the car, he did have a private room after all. Private room? Jack stopped in his tracks, metaphorical light bulb over his head.

"What's with the Cheshire Cat impression, Harkness?" Owen asked.

"Ianto has a private room and since my teleport's working…" he trailed off, implication clear.

Jeanie crossed her arms, "Jack, I did not fix your teleport so you can carouse with your husband."

Jack blinked, what did she say? "Husband? We're not…" but the thought made Jack feel all warm and gooey "That's not a bad idea though; I'll keep that in mind." Just as he reached the car, his wrist strap beeped. Huh?

"Is that supposed to beep?" Nina asked.

"Not here," that beep meant he had a message and it was on the line only other Time Agents could access. This was likely not good. He pressed the button, the manipulator then projected a holographic image of Bartholomew Dangerfield. Son of a bitch.

Jack hardly heard what Bart had said, only processed that he was in Cardiff and he'd sent the coordinates of his location. When the image faded, the others were looking at him questionably.

"Jack, who was that?" Gwen asked.

He looked round at everyone "Don't follow me," he ordered as he got into the car. He drove off, ignoring the team's protests. He headed for the bar Bart was holed up in.

What the hell was that nutcase doing here? Jack didn't need this right now. In fact he never wanted to see that clingy lunatic again. Jack was happy with his life, his family and he didn't want any of his technically not-yet-born 'friends' cocking things up.

When Jack entered the bar, he and Bart simply stared at each other for several long moments. Jack's voice was temporarily caught in his throat. It had been a long time for both of them, Bart had aged over ten years and he'd done something to his hair and wait, his eyes didn't used to be blue. Jack tried to fight the tension in the air but he was already so frustrated. He wasn't sure who moved in first but just now, he really didn't care. He and Bart were kissing, rather violently.

…..

* * *

From the Journal of Jack Harkness:

_Well, at least I didn't sleep with him and I said no to everything else he offered too. Not that I was tempted, well maybe a little but then I remembered Ianto and the kids. If it weren't for them though…_

_But I really need to make a list of all my exes and find out where they are and if they're planning on dropping in. It would be so much easier if they all lived in Texas, then I could say "All my exes live in Texas." Ianto would find it funny, well okay he would smile sweetly and placate me. At least he wouldn't look at me as if I had sprouted the head of a cockroach. Not to my face anyway._

_ So my ex Bartholomew Archibald Dangerfield came to town last night. I don't blame him for changing his name, now he's calling himself 'Captain John Hart', as if he'd ever be promoted. Sarah told me Bart had tried to kill her and Rini—he's lucky I didn't use him for target practise. To his credit he did apologise for that. I think he came here mainly to pester me. It's no coincidence all of his canisters ended up here and considering the blowfish had the key in his pocket. Bart's not as stupid as he looks. He claimed to have found Gray, I don't know whether to believe him or not, Nina doesn't._

_But that's not what really got me cranky. It's what that little nutjob tried to do. Not only did he kill me—by pushing me off a very tall building, ow—he tried to kill half my team. He flirted with my sister and messed with her head. Still, Nina was able to get to Tosh, Owen and Gwen in time without crashing the SUV. She's only had one driving lesson since she's been here. I'll have to buy her something pretty as a thank-you. Jeanie had stayed back at the Hub, working with the little pyramid thingy. Bart had a hard time messing with her…considering he failed miserably and rather comically. The Hub cameras caught it. I'll be saving it. When Jeanie sussed out what he was trying to do, she walloped him but good and then he spun and fell face first onto the desk and into the banana pie Jeanie had set out for a snack. I think I'll have Tosh add Three Stooges music to it._

_When I allowed Bart to put together the bits and pieces from his canisters a bomb attached itself to him. He handcuffed himself to Gwen but Jeanie undid that with her sonic lipstick. We were just going to shove Bart through the Rift where he came in to avoid destroying the city but Jeanie managed to disarm the bomb at the last second. I think she waited to torment him a bit. She doesn't have as much in common with her brother as I thought. I like it._

_We convinced Bart to vamoose anyway but not before he told us about Gray. Well, if he thinks that's going to get me to follow him, he's dead wrong._

_I don't know who's luckier for Ianto being safe in rehab, Ianto or Bart. Bart, state he's in Ianto would have killed him. Slowly. Especially if this had been two weeks ago. Speaking of Ianto, Menelaus recommends telling him about last night. I was going to anyway._

…

* * *

Ianto hadn't felt as guilty since the cyberwoman incident. He kissed Hermes…again. They didn't have sex but got pretty damn close to it. Fortunately, it was Ianto who came to his senses this time. As soon as Hermes' hand touched a certain organ only Jack should be allowed to touch Ianto snapped out of it. Of course Ianto had to tell Jack what happened. And about the whole Ieuan thing. He just couldn't keep something liked this from him. Especially when he was starting to remember bits and pieces from his other lives as well. This was getting ridiculous.

Ianto paced the common area as he waited for Jack's noon visit. Major Jackson approached him.

"Ianto, sonny, you're gonna wear a hole in the floor if you don't settle down."

"Oh sorry," Ianto ceased his pacing "lot on my mind."

"Mind, I have been pestering the higher ups for an indoor pool. Though maybe the basement would be better."

"Sure," Ianto's eyes darted across the entry way.

Major Jackson sighed and checked Ianto's pulse, "Boy, you should sit down; you're heart's racing like a rabbit in season. How are you feeling?"

Ianto sank into a chair "Fine, really," _you wouldn't believe me if I told you _"I just need to talk to Jack about something."

Major Jackson sat down too and leaned back "You know, I used to think that kind of relationship was wrong, I was raised to believe that it was sinful."

Glad for the distraction Ianto asked "What changed your mind?"

"My youngest boy, Tommy. He came out not long after his brother disappeared."

"You have more children then just the one?"

"My late wife, bless her soul gave me five fine children. Two boys, three girls. Anyway, Tommy was only sixteen at the time—I have to say it was a difficult decision to uproot the younger kids like that, moving here. But they were okay with it, girls especially; they just love those Welsh accents."

Ianto bit back a sigh; the Major had a tendency to run on a bit. Jack did the same thing, he would start to explain one thing and somehow meld into another that didn't have much if anything to do with the original subject. Maybe it's hereditary, if they were related that is. "So Tommy is gay?" Ianto prompted to get the Major back on track.

He nodded "As a maypole, he's a director on the West End. He's in town this week actually, picking me up for lunch today. Why I brought him up really, you'll be meeting him."

"Oh?" _I get to meet Jack's Uncle Tommy. Alleged uncle._

"Yep, should be here any minute now."

"Dad!"

The Major sighed "Speak of the fruitcake," he said under his breath. He stood up "Tommy my boy."

Tommy was in his mid fifties, Ianto figured the age but he looked younger. Was it common in that family for people to look younger than they were? He wore designer everything, from his silk scarf to his Gucci shoes and he carried a Louis Vuitton messenger bag. Could a person be any more gay? Could _Ianto_ be any more gay for recognising fashion so well? Maybe he should stop telling people he was bisexual. They all thought he was gay anyway.

Tommy hugged his father "Oh, it's so good to see you Dad. I don't get to Cardiff nearly enough."

Major Jackson ruffled Tommy's hair, or attempted to there was so much hair spray in it "Well, it's not like I have a whole lot of time to get London much myself. Good to see you too, son."

Tommy saw Ianto "And who is this cutie?"

Ianto felt his cheeks burn and he stood up.

The Major introduced him "This is Ianto Jones, my best patient. Ianto, my son Thomas Jackson."

Tommy looked him over "Hey now, you look just like Gareth David-Lloyd, I know you're not him because I just saw him last night. His band was doing a set."

Ianto sighed, damn genetics "He's my third cousin, sir and he's older than me," he just had to throw that in.

"Is that right? Oh, now the theme to Identical Cousins in stuck in my head. Have you seen his new show with John Barrowman?"

Ianto nodded "I'm actually quite fond of "Dragon's Cave."

"Oh it's my new favourite. Actually John is a distant relation of ours."

Ianto's eyebrows shot up, that would explain a lot. Barrowman and Jack had the exact same smile "Really?"

"Yep, he looks a lot like Dad did when he was younger."

Major Jackson laughed "Wait till you see Ianto's partner, spitting image of me I swear. Don't know how to explain that one though. Been meaning to have a chat with that brother of yours."

Oh, I think I can explain it, Ianto thought. And just as he was about to ask the Major what his eldest son's name was, Jack arrived. He was by himself which was good, if he had brought Menelaus that might have just complicated things further.

Jack wrapped his arms around him, "Hey there Tiger. Heard you called last night."

Oh yeah. Ianto had forgotten about that. "Yeah," he buried his face in Jack's shoulder "bad dream, needed to hear your voice."

"Oh, I'm sorry I was out, things happened," Jack kissed him.

Ianto whispered in his ear "Your alleged uncle is here."

"My what?" Jack blinked.

Ianto slipped out of Jack's embrace "Jack, this is Major Jackson's son, Tommy. He's a director on the West End."

Jack regained his composure quickly "Nice to meet you Tommy. Captain Jack Harkness." He held out his hand and his voice didn't have the flirtatious tone it normally held when meeting new people.

Tommy shook his hand "You too. You do look just like Dad." Tommy looked at his father "sure it's not you we should be talking to, Dad?"

"I'm an old fashioned man, son."

Ianto's brows knitted together "So you and Nancy aren't…" he caught himself "I don't wanna know, really don't."

Major Jackson just winked.

Jack laughed "So, Major, how are you today?"

Major Jackson smiled "Woke up breathing, best I can ask for at my age."

Tommy put an arm around his father "Oh you're not that old Dad."

Major Jackson ignored him "And I'm tying the knot with a nice girl."

Ianto smiled "You and Nancy are getting married?"

"Yep," he grinned "popped the question last week when I went to see her. She'll be moving out of that damn retiring home and down here with me."

"Congratulations" Jack and Ianto said in unison.

"You too are so cute," Tommy said "and by the way, Jack, I'm loving the forties look."

"Thanks, your look is… nice too. What are you wearing?"

Ianto found himself explaining "Tommy is wearing a Hermes scarf, Prada jacket…"

"Hermes makes scarves?" Jack asked.

"Scarves, ties, leather, even stationary."

"Huh?"

"It's a designer label, Jack."

"Oh. I knew that."

"No you didn't. So, Major, when's the wedding?"

"May 15th," he answered with a smile "you two and the kids are invited of course.'

"Thank-you, that's nice of you," Ianto said.

"Well, you are Owen's friends. You're whole team's invited."

"Will your other children be there as well?"

"Oh yeah," said Tommy "we're all happy for Dad. Big brother's coming all the way from the Windy City even taking time off work. What's the name of Franklin's company again, Dad? Starlight?"

Jack coughed as if choking on air. Ianto patted his back "Are you all right, Cariad?"

"Yeah, sure, fine," Jack cleared his throat "just swallowed wrong. Can we talk?"

…...

After they took their leave of Grandpa Teddy and Uncle Tommy—yeah, Jack was pretty much convinced now, all he needed was a blood test to prove it; he didn't believe in coincidences after all—Ianto led him to his room.

"Major Jackson doesn't really like non-legal partners in the rooms but I don't care right now. Are you all right? That was quite the discovery we had back there."

"Well, I don't believe in coincidences and my dad did once tell his father's name was Teddy," he took a breath "I'll be fine. So, my grandfather is marrying Owen's grandmother."

Ianto bit his lip "You and Owen are going to be step-cousins."

"Yep," Jack sat down on the bed, it wasn't very comfortable. "I was thinking of bringing the kids by after school. You wanna see them?"

Ianto nodded "Yes, I need to talk to Cory. How has he been?"

"Still quiet but hanging in there. He wanted tofu last night."

Ianto pulled a face "I swear if that boy didn't look just like me…"

Jack laughed "I know. I'll bring Menelaus too if that's all right."

"Yeah, I'd like to actually meet him."

Jack patted the spot next to him "Come sit down, I need to tell you about last night."

Ianto sat "Me too."

Jack took a breath "Did Sarah…"

"Ah," Ianto held up a finger "we're calling her Sweetness now. Easier to keep track of who we're talking about."

Jack sighed "Okay, did _Sweetness _ever tell you about my ex?"

"Which one?" he asked coolly.

"Bart."

"Who?"

Jack rolled his eyes "She may have referred to him as a Cockney Sociopath, even though his accent is more North London."

"Oh yes. She mentioned him, said he sent her boxes of slime."

"He also tried to kill her once. She kicked his ass. He showed up last night…" Jack proceeded to tell Ianto what happened.

Ianto was silent for a moment, clearly taking it all in "Wow. Did someone clean up the mess from the pie?"

Jack stared at him, "I just told you all that and the first thing you ask is if the mess was cleaned up? You must be feeling better. Are you upset with me at all?"

Ianto took Jack's hand "For kissing your ex? Not really, I understand. I'm just as sexually frustrated as you are. Mind, if I had caught you at it, no telling what I would have done. Thank-you though for telling me. I realised recently I'm quite possessive of you."

Jack smiled and kissed him "Me too. So tell me about your bad dream."

Ianto rested his head on Jack's shoulder "I just remember bits but there were daleks in the sky and I think I may have been dying. Oh, and I kept hearing the numbers 4 5 6."

Jack slid his arms around Ianto's waist and held him tightly. He wasn't fond of those numbers "I'm not gonna let that happen. Maybe it had something to do with that stupid TV show."

"It did. Hermes told me."

"He showed up?" that tricky little…of course he would show up when Ianto couldn't get a hold of Jack.

"Yeah" Ianto sat up and took a breath "we kissed again." He closed his eyes.

Of course you did. Well, now they were even. Jack touched Ianto's chin "Look at me, Ianto. What happened?"

…...

Ianto took another breath and told him about his past and current life confusion about Hermes "I love you, Jack. You know that. We're Soulmates but I loved Hermes before I even met Lisa. And now I remember being Ieuan…Ieuan still loves Hermes and now I'm starting to remember bits from my other lives which of course makes my love for you stronger. It's all very confusing and I've no idea what to do about it," he sniffed trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to escape.

Jack put his hands on Ianto's cheeks "It's okay Ianto. You know, you're just one person, one soul. Remembering your past lives shouldn't change who you are now. I have knowledge, even real memories of some of mine and I'm still me. In fact as weird as it sounds, right now I'm a Welshman living in Seattle."

"What?" Ianto stared at him with eyebrows arched.

"True story. In fact, I've been meaning to contact me, help me out. Apparently, my liver's failing and I'd like to die in Wales and spread your ashes in Pembrokeshire."

Shivers ran up and down Ianto's spine, "Okay, someone just walked on my grave."

"Or walked by your urn. I'm pretty sure I keep it on the mantle."

Ianto stood up "God, what is with me and immortals who say weird things? Don't answer that." He started to pace.

Jack stood up too and stopped him, "Ianto, that aside, I'll help you through this. And if you need to get Hermes out of your system, I won't mind."

"I don't know if it will come to that but your permission means a lot," he looked into Jack's eyes.

"Would Ieuan like me do you think?"

"Only a fool would not. But Jack, I need _you_ right now. So much."

"Feeling's mutual," Jack took him in his arms and brought their lips together.

Jack's mobile rang.

Jack sighed and pulled it out. He glanced at the caller ID "It's the school" he answered it "Harkness…yes…he what...she what...what now? Yes, I see…uh huh…I'll be right there." He hung up.

Ianto's need for love making was forgotten in an instant "What happened? Are Cory and Rini okay?"

"I think so. They both got into a fight with other students."

"What!"

"I don't know all the details yet but I have to go collect them."

"Should I come? It's still lunch hour and I think I can leave in such an event."

"You don't have to. School knows I have your permission to collect Cory when you're unable to. Besides, they're used to you wearing suits. There's no time to change."

Ianto sat down in a huff "I don't have any suits here anyway. You will bring them here won't you? For a family discussion?"

"I will," Jack kissed the top of Ianto's head.

…

* * *

**I know what the next major story line will be (and I imagine you have some idea) but I don't know when it'll be done. In the mean time I might put up little single chapter stories to tide you over…like why Rini and Cory got into a fight at school for example.**

**We will also learn more about this show called "Dragon's Cave" and the show it spun off from, "Wandering Wizard." Kudos to anyone who can guess what these shows are about. By the way I claim the ideas behind them. They would make good shows I think.**

**Please review and tell me what you think. It means so much to me.**

**Oh and can anyone guess where that song Hermes was singing is from? I will admit only now that I used to watch it, back when I was a kid and thought they were cool.**

**TTFN**


	41. Chapter 41

**Here's a little something to tide you over till I get the next major story sussed out. I know what happens, I just need to get it out of my head and I'm working on revising "Gambit and Endgame". I took a break from that today to finish typing up this little story. There might be one or two more mini stories before the next big one, I don't know yet. We'll see.**

**Summary: While Ianto waits for Jack to get back with the kids he talks with one of his sister-in-laws who is upset about something. Then Jack and the kids arrive. Ianto finds out what the fight was about…oh, just read it.**

**Disclaimer: Religious matters are somewhat discussed in this chapter and no offence is meant whatsoever. Though I doubt anyone who reads this would be offended, if by some freak chance you are, I'm sorry.**

**

* * *

**

"Untitled"

While Ianto waited for Jack to return with the kids, he decided to make use of the clinic's gym. He'd been doing so whenever he had free time every day since he'd been there. Major Jackson had told him that a good way to fight the addiction was to sweat it out. It didn't work for everyone of course but it was working for Ianto, it helped distract him from alcoholic thoughts when things got a bit too stressful and right now he needed some distracting. That thing with Hermes last night and now hearing that his and Jack's children were in trouble at school had made him crave some rum, so he went straight for the gym—after pacing vigorously for a few minutes. And hey, if it made him in shape and chiselled his chest and abs, thus making him more attractive to Jack, then even better. That and he was tired being called "flabby skinny" by his siblings. He'd show them.

But before he reached the gym he ran into his sister-in-law, Stephanie.

"Oh, Ianto, hi, I was just going to your room," she was carrying her very large handbag.

"Hi, Steph, what brings you by today?"

"This and that; can we talk privately?"

"Sure," he led her back to his room.

Once there she said "I saw Jack leaving when I pulled up, he looked a bit broody. Everything okay?"

"Good question. Our children are in trouble at school," he sank onto his bed.

"Oh, Goddess," she said, brown eyes wide "what happened?" she took a seat in the extra chair.

Ianto shrugged "All I know is that they got into a fight with some other students—over what I don't know. Jack's gone to fetch them."

"Will you need a lawyer?"

Ianto looked at her "God, I hope not. So, uh, how are you?" he was quite surprised to see her here. She hadn't visited before, mind Ianto had only been here a little over a week.

"Oh I'm all right. I brought you" she dug into her handbag and pulled out a Tupperware container "some chocolate chip cookies." She handed the container to him.

He took it "Ah, one of the few things Gwenora can't get right."

"Now, be nice, she's a chef not a baker. Anyway, I wanted to give those to you in here so nobody would see. I know your warden insists on sharing."

"Major Jackson isn't my—well, then again," he opened the box; the smell alone was heavenly "what's the occasion?"

"It's one of Al's bosses birthday, he just loves my cookies so I made some for the party. I made too many though, I thought you might like some."

"Thank-you," he told her taking out a cookie and biting into it "anything else going on?"

She shrugged "Just stuff back in Washington but you wouldn't be interested."

"That's where your family lives, right?"

"Uh huh."

"What's going on? I mean if you wanna talk I don't mind listening."

She took a breath "Well, my little sister Alex still lives with Mom, cheaper that way, especially since Alex can't find a job."

"She could always work for Starlight," Ianto said without thinking.

Stephanie looked at him "Ianto, I know what Torchwood does and I know that Starlight is like that. I don't want my baby sister risking her life doing something like that."

"This family can't keep a secret can it?" Ianto muttered.

"Anyway, Alex and our mom have been going to this group thing every week. A group of witches."

"A coven?"

"No, just a group of solitaries who get together and make crafts and occasionally perform rituals. Covens have ranks and stuff. Well, a few months ago Alex made a joke that offended the quotey quote leader, she didn't mean it that way of course. Well, she got banned anyway 'cause the group thought she was being too negative. But we don't think it was Alex's fault, she's very empathic you see and it's hard for her to control her emotion receptors and her shield if you will. Around certain people this shield goes up, protecting her from their negativity."

"So you think they were feeling their own negativity reflected back at them?"

"Exactly. Well, Mom had stayed away for awhile too but she did go a couple of times while Alex was visiting our dad. Anyway, last week, Alex got to go back because the meeting was at a different location. It went fine. But last night Mom reads this email that was to the whole group, apparently there was a pole the night before about what to do today. Well, nobody told Mom and Alex right and nobody invited them to the male review they decided to go to. One of the ladies bought ten tickets but nobody called Mom and Alex and the group knows they couldn't afford it otherwise. Alex called me about an hour ago, it's still morning there."

"A male review? Is that like a strip show or something?"

"I think so but still there's bond to be hot guys. Wouldn't you be offended if your alleged friends didn't invite you to one?"

"Well, yes. That is very rude of them not to invite your mother and sister. But you witches have that Threefold Law thing, right?"

"Yeah, 'Ever mind the Law of Three; what ye send forth comes back to thee.' So, I can't do something like putting a virus on their website in revenge."

"There's a website?"

"Yeah, Elemental something…"

"Can you get me the exact web address? I'd like to see who these people are." Maybe Stephanie couldn't do anything about it but Ianto could—he didn't see himself as bound by that Law. He remembered meeting her sister at her and Al's wedding years ago. Alex was a sweet girl, well woman now; she was about Ianto's age.

There was some sort of sparkle in Stephanie's eyes "Sure, I'll email it to you later. Anyway, I'm gonna talk to Al, see if we can send Mom and Alex to Vegas to see Chippendales."

"That would be nice."

"Yeah, I just wish they would ask me for help when it comes to money but they're both stubborn. Anyway," she stood up "I should get going. Thanks for listening Ianto."

He stood as well "Anytime, let me walk you out."

…

When Ianto got back to his room, he saw there was still some time before Jack got back with the kids. He thought he might call Hermes and tell him about Alex Kennedy's situation but then he realised he wasn't in the mood to deal with Hermes. So he decided to try…

"Ares!" he called. After all who better for revenge than the god of war?

Surprisingly, Ares appeared "This is a first. I don't believe you've called on me before."

"No, you usually just show up to be annoying."

Ares smirked "So what can I do for you?"

"How do you feel about cyber warfare?"

"I think it's for lazy cowards. Why?"

"Well…" he told him about Stephanie's sister and mother's problem.

"Ah, Alex Kennedy, she's another one of Hermes's favourites."

"Really?" Ianto wasn't aware Hermes had other favourites, in this reality anyway.

"Yeah. She's apparently a big fan of your cousin Gareth and his co-star."

"Third cousin," Ianto corrected.

Ares shrugged "Fish are fish, cousins are cousins."

"And Gareth is John's co-star and actually, Gareth gets last billing in the credits for some stupid reason."

"How'd you know I meant John?"

Ianto shrugged "A lot of girls like that pairing. It made sense."

"True. Back in the old days, women weren't allowed to watch the Olympics but you should have seen how many snuck in just to watch the wrestling. Something about two naked buff guys touching each other that really turns women on."

"Yeah, women and…"

Ares cleared his throat "I think I hear Aphrodite calling me. I'll see you later, Ianto." With that he disappeared.

* * *

Ten minutes later Jack arrived with Cory and Rini. Cory was sporting a black eye. Ianto stood up, alarmed "what happened? Cory, are you okay?"

Cory shrugged "I've had worse."

Ianto shuddered knowing what Cory was implying; no six year old should ever have to say that.

Jack went over to him and whispered "Let's not be too hard on them."

Ianto looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Kids," said Jack "Tell Ianto what you told me."

"Jasper and Jacob Delaney started it," Rini said.

"Who are they?" Ianto asked.

"Twins," explained Cory "they're new here. They're from Idaho—they're father has a job here, been here a month." He sat down on the bed "they're Baptists or something."

Ianto looked around at everyone "So?"

Jack sighed "From what I understand, their particular church is quite outspoken about their dislike of homosexuality. Oh and you're gonna want to sock their father; I almost did but I restrained myself."

Ianto leaned wearily against the wall "What happened? Why were you in a fight?" he asked the children.

Rini and Cory looked at each other as if communicating who should tell the story. Cory shrugged and Rini took a breath "I think it started this morning before class started. My friend Shannon was telling me about her aunt's girlfriend and how she makes windchimes. Then I told Shannon about my two daddies, 'cause Ianto, you're like my daddy too."

Ianto caught Jack's gaze and they shared a smile.

"I think one of the twins heard us talking" Rini continued.

"Jerks are in my class" Cory muttered.

"Okay, when did the fight start?" Ianto asked.

"Start of lunchtime," Rini said "they came up to me and started saying all these really mean things."

…

* * *

Jasper and Jacob Delaney were identical twins, Cory's age but awfully burly and round for six year olds and they reminded Rini of potatoes. They approached her in the hallway.

"Hey you," said one.

"Me?" Rini asked, wondering why they'd want to talk to her.

"Yeah," said the other "we hear you live with fags."

Rini knew what that word meant in American, she'd heard it before when she and her mommy were at the supermarket once. Rini had asked what it meant and Mommy told her that it was a bad name mean people called gay guys. She decided to play dumb anyway "What do you mean?" she asked the potato twins as she and Cory had come to call them.

"Those guys you live with" said Potato #1 "we saw them with you before. We thought one could be your uncle but now we know they're fags."

Rini knew she should walk away "I don't know what you're talking about" she turned around but one of them grabbed her arm.

"You know it's wrong, right?" said Potato #2 "If you don't have regular parents, you'll go to Hell."

Rini narrowed her eyes and pulled her arm free "No, I won't" she looked around the hall, where were the teachers? "There's no such thing." She pulled out her pentacle from under her shirt, it was purple and sparkly; her mommy had given it to her.

"You're a witch" said Potato #1.

She searched for her now faded American accent and found it "Yeah, what of it?"

Potato #2 made a move as if to grab for the necklace but someone got in his way.

"If you have a problem with my sister or our parents, you'll take it up with me," Cory stood there, hands on his hips.

"You'll go to hell too," said Potato #2 "so will your dads. God hates fags."

"Stop calling them that!" Rini shouted, losing her temper.

Cory regarded the twins coolly "Well, if I were creator of the universe I wouldn't approve of smoking either."

"What?" the twins looked dumbfounded.

Cory's lips curved upwards "In this country, fags are cigarettes. You're really very stupid aren't you?"

One of them socked him and he stumbled back a little. But then his smile broadened "I was hoping you'd do that" he punched the one that hit him back "I've been wanting to hit you two all bloody month!"

They had acquired an audience then, no one was joining in and Cory was outnumbered. But he was holding his own fairly well, he knew how to take a beating.

Rini decided she wasn't a helpless little girl and went into the fray, kicking one of the twins between the legs. A couple of teachers intervened then, pulling the kids apart. The fight had seemed longer than t actually was.

…

* * *

Ianto was silent after the story, he was quite proud of Cory and Rini for defending him and Jack. He was also touched that they thought of themselves and brother and sister. But fighting wasn't the answer.

"Well?" Jack asked him "what do you think?"

Ianto took a breath "I would like to know why the fight wasn't prevented in the first place. Where were the teachers?"

"Yeah, that's what I wanted to know" Jack said "the ones that were supposed to be in that hall were all delayed somehow. I'm thinking there might be alien involvement, I'll have to look into it."

"Are you angry Tad?" Cory asked.

Ianto looked at Jack "Jack, a word privately please?"

They stepped outside the room "We can't condone fighting, Jack" Ianto said.

"I know that, but one of the potato…"

"Jack, we can't encourage them in name calling either."

Jack sighed "But you should see them. They look like Sontarans."

He didn't want to but Ianto resorted to it "Franklin."

Jack cringed "All right, one of the _Delaney_ twins hit Cory first."

"Yes but that doesn't give him the right to hit back, at least not in school. And Rini certainly didn't have to join in."

"I know that and I know we need to reprimand them but they were defending us. And Cory was defending Rini. He called her his sister."

Ianto smiled slightly "I know and we should encourage them to stand up for their beliefs and family but fighting in school is against the rules."

"So, how do you want to do this?"

"Well—wait, what happened when you met Mr Delaney?"

Jack's eyes narrowed "Can I tell you about that later?"

Ianto nodded "Sure. Okay, we'll have a talk with them about restraint and maybe take away their TV privileges for a couple of days. They're not suspended or anything are they?"

"Just for the day, I assured the headmistress it wouldn't happen again; I think she fancies us a bit. Anyway one of the twins admitted he threw the first punch, I think Cory was channelling his great-grandfather. He put the fear of Whoever into those boys. He gave as good as he got."

Ianto felt himself smiling "That's my boy. Oh, this is one of those hard parts of parenting isn't it?"

"Yeah, I think it is."

Ianto sighed "Okay, let's go back in there and talk with them."

After a speech about restraint, Ianto added "That being said I'm proud you stood up for yourselves and for us, thank-you."

He hugged them both "But you know that fighting isn't the answer, right?"

"Yes" they both nodded.

Jack stretched "Well, that's settled."

Ianto remembered he needed to talk to Cory "Cory, now I'd like to talk to you about something else."

Jack took Rini's hand "Come on, sweetie let's go look at the inmates' artwork."

"Don't call us inmates" Ianto called after him as he led Rini out of the room. "Though I suppose…" he muttered to himself as an afterthought.

"What do you want to talk about Tad?" Cory asked looking up at him.

Ianto kneeled in front of him "Cory, I haven't really apologised for my behaviour before I came here. I've had the impression you've been upset with me."

Cory shrugged.

"Jack tells me you've been a little distant. I want to know what's bothering you so I can help."

Cory seemed to find his shoes very interesting "I'm scared."

"Of what?"

He sniffed "I don't want to lose you, Tad. You could have died and what would have happened to me? I don't wanna go back to Mam."

Ianto's eyes stung. He put a gentle finger to Cory's chin "Look at me, son. I am so sorry that I scared you. I was sick but I'm getting better. That's why I decided to check myself in here, well after some good advice."

"And I miss you; it's not the same without you home."

"I know and I miss you too and everyone. I'll home as soon as I can. The Major says it looks like I'll be able to start the outpatient program sooner than average. I know I've been a terrible father…"

"No you haven't" Cory interrupted "don't say that. You're the best when you're not drinking. I was just so scared when you were arrested, I didn't know if I'd see you again."

"Oh, son" Ianto wrapped his arms around him "I'm so sorry. I won't drink again, I promise."

"Really?"

Ianto looked into his son's big blue eyes "Really. I mean it but if my resolve ever weakens, I'll need your help to remind me."

"Okay."

"Okay, I love you, you know that right?"

"I love you too, Tad."

"Now," Ianto stood up "let's go find Jack and Rini."

They found them not far down the hall looking at a swirly painting that made Ianto dizzy.

"Hey," Jack smiled at them "everything okay?"

"I think so" Ianto said.

"So anyway" Rini said "me and Cory were talking…"

"Cory and I" Cory and Ianto both corrected her.

"Right, Cory and I were talking and well since you're both like daddies to us" she looked at Jack and Ianto "that maybe I could call Ianto 'Tad'?"

"And I could call Jack 'Daddy'?" Cory said.

Jack and Ianto looked at the children and then at each other and smiled. They knew what the answer was.

* * *

**So, I hope you all enjoyed this little story and please review. They make me so happy. Of course Jack and Ianto said yes, did I even need to say that?**

**TTFN**


	42. Purple People Eater

**Another tidbit to tide you over; this is your Halloween treat. I hope you like it.**

**Summary: This is the story of how Jack met Ianto's brother Gwill.**

**Title: The Purple People Eater**

**A/N: It said in chapter 11 that Jack and Gwill met in 2001-if you're keeping track, I've changed that.**

**

* * *

**

Late October, 2000

PC Gwillym Jones, Gwill to friends and family was on his lunch break munching on some spicy crisps his Cajun brother-in-law had given him. As he ate he thought. He was relatively content with his life, he and his wife were expecting their first child, he was moving up in the force and almost all his siblings were off being successful. It was the almost that kept Gwill from being completely content. His youngest brother was only seventeen and had run away the year before. Ianto was drifting on the island doing who knows what; they knew he wasn't dead because he regularly sent postcards to their grandmother. That was something at least. Just the other day Gran Kylia had gotten a postcard from Ianto saying he was in Salisbury.

Gran Kylia had showed it to Gwill, the message was brief but Ianto sounded fine:

_Hey Gran, I took your advice and decided to visit Stonehenge. You're right I think; only the Welsh could've moved those rocks. I'd like to check it out during the full moon sometime; if I ever do I'll let you know what it feels like. I'll write again in a few days. Love, Ianto P.S. Tell those druids of ours they should check it out too, it's quite amazing, even during the day._

Gwill smiled slightly; at least Ianto was sober enough to remember to write to Gran. The fight that had led Ianto to run away from the care of their eldest brother had been over marijuana and Ianto's breaking into Caddy's liquor cabinet. Maybe Ianto just needed some time to find himself; their father's death had affected him badly. So badly, it affected Ianto's fashion sense; he'd always been a skater boy but a nicely dressed one. After their father died, he went a little Goth. It was very disturbing. Before their father died, Ianto had been arrested for shoplifting but got off easy—their second eldest brother was an attorney. Ianto had still gotten four weeks for talking back to the judge though. As Gwill recalled it had started with Ianto insulting the judge's wig and it went from there.

Gwill was pulled out of his thoughts when he noticed a man staring at him curiously "Something I can help you with, sir?"

"Huh?" blinked the man who was dressed like it was WWII.

"Do I know you?" Gwill asked as he stood up, the man did look somewhat familiar.

"Oh, no, sorry. You just…" the man was American "you're tall" he said looking up at Gwill.

Gwill had at least five inches over this guy "Yes, is there anything else?"

The American shook his head as if to clear it "Hello, I'm Captain Jack Harkness" he held out his hand.

Maybe that was it; that name…oh yeah. Gwill shook his hand "PC Gwill Jones. I've heard of you, you're in that special ops thing aren't you? Torchwood, right?"

Jack smiled "I see you pay attention to things. That's more than I can say for a lot of your fellow officers."

Gwill shrugged "Yeah well, it's quite easy to not care about special ops when they get to have all the fun."

"How's that?"

Gwill indicated the gun that was relatively visible under Jack's coat "You get to shoot things, I have to hit things with a stick."

Jack laughed "I take it your against the gun law."

"Damn straight, my father left me his grandfather's revolver and the only thing I can do with it is display it."

"Well if you ever wanna shoot your gun," he had lowered his voice and put a hand on Gwill's arm "you can always come over to my place."

Gwill felt his eyebrows raise up and he stared at Jack for a moment or two "Are you flirting with me Captain?"

"That depends, is it working?"

"No, I'm a happily married man—to a woman and she's pregnant."

Jack's eyes fell on Gwill's wedding band and he stepped back "Then I'm not flirting with you. Well, PC Jones it was nice meeting you but I have to be going."

Gwill glanced at his watch "Yeah, me too."

Jack started to walk away but he called over his shoulder "And congratulations about your wife."

"Thanks" Gwill called after him. Well, that was an interesting conversation. But Gwill shrugged it off and thinking he wouldn't see the Captain again he went back to work.

…

* * *

Jack smiled to himself as he walked back to the Hub after leaving Gwill that day. So, Iseult's boy Gwill was a cop and he looked just like his paternal grandfather, Taliesin. Jack shuddered, it was kind of creepy. Jack knew he shouldn't have stared like he did but he felt he recovered nicely by flirting with him. It looked like all Iseult's children were turning out all right, there was only one that Jack couldn't trace, the youngest boy, Ifan named for Iseult's father, who used to be Jack's boss before he died seventeen years before.

But the other children were all right and Gwill had even become what he'd always wanted to be. Jack remembered the phone conversation they'd had when the boy was about eight or nine.

_ The team was out doing something fun without Jack and the new commander (transferred from London) had ordered Jack to organise the Archives which had become rather dishevelled ever since Iseult left to raise her family. She was still available to be called in though. So, that night Jack called her._

_ A little boy had answered the phone "Hello" he said in thickly accented English "who's calling?" there was the sound of at least one child crying in the background._

_ "This is Captain Jack Harkness, is your mam home?"_

_ "She's busy right now, Ianto's teething and he won't shut up. Are you a friend of Mam's?"_

_ "Yes, we work together" Jack said "I guess I can wait a few minutes. Which of her children are you?"_

_ "I'm Gwill, are you a real captain? What do you captain? Are you a copper?"_

_ Jack chuckled "Something like that."_

_ "I wanna be a copper when I grow up."_

_ "Is that right?"_

_ "Yep, I wanna catch the bad guys."_

_ The crying was getting louder, Jack cringed, little Ianto had some lungs on him "Gwill, tell your mam that frozen carrots help though I think she would know that by now."_

_ "Mam!" he heard Gwill shout "you're friend Captain Jack says frozen carrots help but you should know that by now."_

_ Jack cringed again, oops._

_ "We don't have any bloody carrots" came Iseult's voice "here Gwill, take Ianto to Edie or someone. Give me the phone." After some rustling, Iseult's voice was more clear "what do you want Jack?"_

Jack smiled wistfully at the memory but the rest of that night didn't turn out so well. Iseult never made it to the Hub and she never made it home. Her husband blamed Jack of course. That Cadfael Jones had a hell of a right cross.

Jack was startled out of his thoughts by the rift alert "Okay, gang, let's" he looked around the empty Hub "oh yeah, still just me. Okay, Jack let's go check it out," he sighed "I really need to hire someone before I start talking to myself and the reverberating silence drives me insane."

…

* * *

Gwill was heading home after an uneventful day—except for meeting that Captain Harkness bloke. Ever since he joined the force the most exciting things Gwill had dealt with were pub brawls and domestic disturbances. He planned on becoming detective inspector some day; maybe that would be more entertaining. Of course, his lawyer brother Aldwyn accused him of watching too many American cop shows.

Gwill did remember where he knew Harkness from—while he'd seen his picture and heard his name connected with special ops—Gwill had actually met him years ago. A Captain Jack Harkness had worked with Gwill's mother before she disappeared but Gwill had never known that his mother had worked with Torchwood. Harkness had called the house and Gwill had spoken with him before his mam took the phone. Gwill had been nine at the time. Mam didn't come home that night.

A couple days later Captain Harkness came to the house and Tad hadn't been happy to see him. Gwill had no idea what they fought about but Tad had punched Captain Harkness. Fifteen years later and it didn't look like Harkness had aged but then some people were lucky like that. Still, he'd talk to his older siblings, see if they remembered more.

As he passed by a park he saw some movement out of the corner of his eye. He stopped the car and looked, it was Captain Harkness, running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

Gwill shut off the engine and got out of his car. Maybe something exciting was happening and it looked like Jack needed help. Gwill ran over to him.

"Captain, what's going on? Can I help?"

Jack looked at him, breathing heavily "I'm looking for something. It's…"

Gwill saw something in the tree behind Jack, but he wasn't sure if he was seeing right. That was just weird, "Does it have one long horn?"

"Yes."

"One big eye?"

"Yes."

"Is it purple?"

"You've seen it?"

Gwill pointed "It's in that tree."

Jack turned and swore "I need to catch it."

"Don't you have a team?"

"Not at the moment—Damn it!"

The creature leapt out of the tree and flew over their heads, disappearing from sight. Jack had shot at it but missed.

"Was that what I thought it was?" Gwill asked.

Jack sighed heavily "Yes, it's an alien."

"Well, I figured that, I mean is it a flying purple people eater like in the song?"

"Well yes, I suppose it is" Jack opened up the wrist strap that was on his arm and pressed a button "I need to find it."

"Need any help?"

Jack was silent for a moment, clearly thinking it over. He took a breath "I would appreciate it, thank-you." He took Gwill to his car which was a pretty swanky SUV "You know how to shoot a tranq gun?"

Gwill nodded "You name it. I can shoot it. My wife and I went to America for our honeymoon. We went to a gun expo, got to try all sorts of things."

Jack opened the car and pulled out a tranquiliser gun. "You're wife went to this expo with you?"

"Oh yeah, she loves guns."

"Great wife."

"She cooks too."

Jack handed Gwill the gun "Try not to get arrested PC Jones."

"Don't worry about me."

"I wanna try to take it alive, find out what it's doing here."

"Maybe it wants to get a job in a rock n' roll band," Gwill said with a smirk.

Jack rolled his eyes and pulled a net out of the car "It's still in the park. Split up." He went in one direction and Gwill took the other.

It was dark and cloudy, Gwill's younger brothers would be scared shitless despite their claims of scepticism but Gwill wasn't afraid of anything…much. He had a problem with bats. He shone his torch on the trees and after about a minute he saw it. Before shooting at it Gwill thought he'd trying talking besides a certain song was stuck in his head "Oh Mr Purple People Eater don't eat me."

It stared at Gwill and then in a voice so gruff said "I wouldn't eat you cuz you're so tough." Then in took off again.

"Wait," Gwill went after it "why are you here?"

The alien flitted about all over the place leading Gwill in zig zags. "Mr. Purple People eater, what's your line?"

"Eating purple people and it sure is fine!" it sang out.

The Gwill ran smack into Jack.

…...

Normally Jack wouldn't have someone helping him, especially a cop but Gwill Jones was big and brawny and Jack didn't have any other options. He needed help and he admitted it. Besides if Gwill was anything like his mother then he would have helped anyway. If this worked out then Jack just found someone to hire or Jack could always retcon him if he had to.

The thing had Jack running in zig zags and he suspected it was doing the same to Gwill. He heard it sing out "Eating purple people and it sure is fine!"

Then he crashed into Gwill and Jack fell to the ground. Gwill barely stumbled.

Little Tardises spun before Jack's eyes, his head had hit Gwill's neck but Gwill it seemed was solid muscle.

Gwill coughed, ah so the impact had affected him somewhat "You okay, Captain?" he held out a hand.

Jack took the hand and let Gwill pull him up "You can call me Jack." Jack blinked and his vision cleared "I'll be fine. You?"

"Oh sure, takes more than that to knock me down."

"But that's not the reason that I came to land" said the alien who standing still in a tree once more "I wanna get a job in a rock n' roll band."

"I knew it!" Gwill exclaimed "didn't I tell you?"

"Yes, I guess you did," Jack looked up at the alien "You can't stay here. The Earth isn't ready for you. You have to go back where you came from."

"But I wanna be on Ed Sullivan" the alien leapt to ground and started playing rock n' roll music through the horn in his head.

Gwill tapped his foot "It's got a nice beat and you can dance to it." He looked at the creature "I'm sorry Mr Purple People but Ed Sullivan died almost thirty years ago."

The little alien stopped his music "He did?"

"Afraid so and you'd be in the wrong country anyway."

"Really?"

Jack sighed "You're on the wrong planet. The Earth isn't ready. What planet are you from?"

"I think your kind calls it Ganymede."

"Where?" asked Gwill.

"Moon of Jupiter" Jack told him and turned back to the alien "Look, I know you came here through the Rift but…"

Gwill took a step forward "I'm Gwill, this is Jack. What's your name?"

Jack sighed again "Don't make friends with it."

"You can call me Hooty" said the little alien.

"It's nice to meet you Hooty, you're very talented" Gwill spoke softly like he was speaking to a child "How old are you?"

"Ten Jupiter years."

Jack marvelled at Gwill's perception, even Jack hadn't guessed the little Ganymedean was a juvenile but it made sense. Well, either Gwill was very perceptive or he spoke to all foreigners that way. "Where are your parents?" Jack asked Hooty.

"At home."

"Your parents must be very worried about you, Hooty" said Gwill "you should probably go home. Jack's right, Earth isn't ready for you."

Just then the air before them opened up like a sheet being ripped and a much bigger version of Hooty stepped out "There you are, I've been looking all over for you," by the sound of the voice this one was female and most likely Hooty's mother.

"Wait, I just realised" said Gwill "shouldn't they be speaking something not English?"

"Oh, sorry, it's my wrist strap. The translator has a mile radius and Hooty was speaking English, she's not."

Hooty's mother was currently berating him for disappearing.

Jack stepped forward "It's not his fault. We have a rift through time and space…"

"Yes, yes" the mother waved him off "thank-you for looking after him. She scooped up Hooty and went back through the rip in the air. It closed up behind her.

For long moments only crickets could be heard and then Gwill spoke "Well, that was interesting."

Jack looked at him "Is that all you have to say?"

Gwill shrugged "What else can I say?"

"Did you know he was a child?"

"No but he was acting like one so I guessed. Is that what Torchwood deals with, aliens?"

Jack nodded "You don't seem surprised that they exist."

"It'd be arrogant to believe that Earth is the only planet with life."

Jack definitely wanted to hire Gwill "That's very smart. You wanna new job?"

Gwill arched an eyebrow "Why? You offering?"

"I could use the help but you don't have to answer right away" Jack remembered what Torchwood had done to Gwill's maternal grandfather and didn't want that to happen to Gwill. Ifan Davies liked to take his anger out on Jack by using him as target practise, Gwill Jack was pretty sure could break him in two and that would hurt.

"I take it outsiders don't typically know what you do?"

"That's right" Jack nodded "so you can't tell anyone about tonight."

"Like anyone would believe me. Do your cases always turn out like this?"

"No, it's not always a happy ending."

Gwill rubbed his chin thoughtfully "Why don't you have a team may I ask?"

Jack sighed "They were all killed this past New Years. I uh I wasn't there when it happened" it was mostly the truth.

"And you've been on your own for ten months?"

"Yes, it's getting exhausting."

"You know," Gwill folded his arms and leaned against a tree "I remembered something after we met today."

Jack swallowed, had Gwill recognised him, "Oh yeah?"

"You knew my mother didn't you?"

"What makes you think that?"

"I remember talking to you the night she didn't come home and then you came over and my father punched you."

Jack's hand involuntarily went to his chin—Cadfael Sr. had broken his jaw that day.

Gwill moved away from the tree "So that was you." It wasn't a question "My mam worked for Torchwood didn't she?"

Jack sighed, he hadn't intended on being this honest with Gwill but since he was so perceptive he would have figured it out eventually anyway. Besides he had this sudden image of both Gwill's grandfathers beating him up if he lied even though they were both dead. It was very disturbing "Yes, she did."

"Is that why she disappeared?"

"I don't know, she never made it to work that night. I'm sorry. I looked everywhere, I still do sometimes. If I ever find out what happened to her I promise I'll let you know."

Gwill nodded seeming to accept the answer "I'll think about your offer Jack but I don't know. I have a family I need to be around for."

"I respect that" Jack wouldn't retcon him, whatever he decided. He knew that the young man could be trusted.

Gwill checked his watch "I have to get home or it's the dog house for me. But, why don't you come over for dinner tomorrow? I have this feeling you're single so I bet it's been a while since you've had a home cooked meal."

Jack blinked "What is this home cooked meal of which you speak?"

Gwill laughed "That's what I thought. So, what d'you say?"

"I don't know" it was a tempting offer but Jack wasn't sure about leaving the Hub. Of course, his wrist strap picked up rift alerts and he was fairly certain he didn't have to worry about the Doctor for at least a few more years.

"Of come on" Gwill put a hand on his shoulder "you know you want to. I'd invite you to the family Halloween party on Sunday but if Caddy recognises you he might kill you."

Jack gulped "That's your oldest brother right?"

"Right. It's Saturday tomorrow, Anwen's making a roast with mashed potatoes and gravy, peas and carrots and pumpkin cheesecake for dessert."

Jack swallowed the drool that had formed in his mouth "Okay, you talked me into it."

"Great." Gwill gave him his address.

Jack walked him back to his car.

"Dinner's at six. I can pick you up if that'll be easier. It's not the best area I'd hate for someone to nick that car of yours."

"Well, okay, sure."

Gwill got in his car and turned the key "We're saving money to buy a house, there's one in my gran's neighbourhood that's supposed to be up for sale soon. Where do you live?"

"Just pick me up at the Millennium Centre."

"Okay" Gwill flicked on his radio.

_Here's an old one for you _said the DJ _and you'll hear it at our Halloween bash at The Dragon's Tooth tomorrow._

'_Well I saw the thing comin' out of the sky_

_It had the one long horn, one big eye_

_I commenced to shakin' and I said "ooh-eee"_

_It looks like a purple people eater to me_

_It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater_

_(One-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater)_

_A one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater_

_Sure looks strange to me (One eye?)_

_Well he came down to earth and he lit in a tree_

_I said Mr. Purple People Eater, don't eat me_

_I heard him say in a voice so gruff_

_I wouldn't eat you cuz you're so tough_

_It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater_

_One-eyed, one-horned flyin' purple people eater_

_One-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater_

_Sure looks strange to me (One horn?)_

_I said Mr. Purple People Eater, what's your line_

_He said it's eatin' purple people and it sure is fine_

_But that's not the reason that I came to land_

_I wanna get a job in a rock and roll band_

_Well bless my soul, rock and roll, flyin' purple people eater_

_Pigeon-toed, undergrowed, flyin' purple people eater_

_(We wear short shorts!)_

_Friendly little people eater_

_What a sight to see_

_And then he swung from the tree and he lit on the ground_

_He started to rock, really rockin' around_

_It was a crazy ditty with a swingin' tune_

_Sing a boop boop aboopa lopa lum bam boom_

_Well bless my soul, rock and roll, flyin' purple people eater_

_Pigeon-toed, undergrowed, flyin' purple people eater_

_(I like short shorts!)_

_Flyin' little people eater_

_Sure looks strange to me (Purple People?)_

_And then he went on his way, and then what do ya know_

_I saw him last night on a TV show_

_He was blowing it out, a'really knockin' em dead_

_Playin' rock and roll music through the horn in his head'_

Jack and Gwill burst out laughing.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I believe that Sheb Wooley originally sang the song 'The Purple People Eater'.**

**Hope you enjoyed your little treat. I plan to have the next major chapter up next month sometime. Cross your fingers. It might take longer though because November is novel writing month and while I won't be doing it officially I do intend on working on my original fiction just because. But who knows what the muses have in store.**

**Happy Halloween!**


	43. Lovers

**In celebration of passing the 400 reviews mark, this chapter contains a love scene, two technically but only one of them is between Jack and Ianto. I think you'll like this chapter anyway.**

**A/N: I hadn't intended this chapter to be as long as it is but the muses hijacked my keyboard. Thing's are gonna get a little crazy…er but since this universe is already crazy, I thought 'oh what the hell? Just go for it.' Crazy after all can be fun and since this story contains fantasy, anything can happen.**

**Warning: This chapter contains a heterosexual love scene (gasp!), not that anyone should be bothered by that.**

**Disclaimer: No offence is meant by the conversation Ares and Aphrodite have.  
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**Chapter rating: M**

**Chapter title: Lovers**

**Chapter summary: Ianto gets home from rehab and Jack asks him a very important question and is very romantic. We finally see Aphrodite and she and Ares talk and stuff, not very detailed though. There is a mention of my "Immortality" reality by the way. Oh and we meet Jack's son Nick and somebody very interesting.**

**Enjoy!**

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As it turned out Ianto was released from the inpatient program relatively early but he'd still have to come in for an hour or two every day till Major Jackson said otherwise. Ianto didn't mind though because after almost a month he was going home and back to work.

It was morning when Jack picked him up, the kids were in school but he'd see them later and they'd have a celebratory dinner that evening. It was just as well he got out in the morning anyway because Jack had told him that instead of going to work they'd be going home which they would have to themselves. Ianto was hard at the thought. While he saw Jack every day, they never had a chance to make love while Ianto was in rehab and it was long overdue.

"It might not be to your standards," Jack said as he unlocked the front door "but we cleaned the best we could."

Ianto waved him off "Yeah, yeah, I'll care after we have sex."

Jack laughed and picked him up "I think this calls for you to be carried over the threshold."

Ianto smiled and wrapped his arms around Jack "You really are my handsome prince, aren't you?"

Jack carried him inside and then set him down, closing the door "If I'm your handsome prince, Ianto Jones then you are my knight in shining armour."

Ianto stared into Jack's beautiful sky blue eyes and then kissed him deeply "I love you so much."

Jack held him close "I love you too" he rubbed their noses together and their arousals pressed against each other straining to get free "Now, upstairs."

"Oh God yes."

…

Their bedroom door was closed, Jack stepped in front of it "Close your eyes."

Ianto arched an eyebrow "what did you do in there?"

Jack smiled coyly "It's a surprise. Now, close your eyes."

"All right" Ianto sighed and did as he was told. He dared not think what Jack could have done to their room. He heard the door open.

"No peeking" Jack put an arm around him and lead him in.

As soon as Ianto felt he was through the door he asked "Can I open them now?"

"Just a minute" Jack closed the door and then began shuffling about the room.

Ianto wondered what he was doing, he smelled roses and chocolate. He heard what sounded like a match being struck and smelled smoke and wax. Jack must have been lighting candles. He was being romantic which was very rare. Ianto smiled; he felt all warm inside, "Can I open them now?" he asked again.

Jack put his arm back around Ianto's waist "Yes."

Ianto opened his eyes to be greeted by the most romantic sight he'd ever seen. There were a dozen red roses on the bedside table and on every available flat surface a white candle was lit. The curtains were closed, causing the candles to cast a romantic glow. There was an open box of chocolates next to the roses. But the bed was Ianto's favourite part; not only were there red rose petals strewn over it but Jack had gotten a new bedspread as well. It was deep red and—Ianto moved closer to touch it—satin.

"Oh Jack" Ianto breathed and looked at him "This is beautiful. You didn't have to do this for me. I got out of rehab not the army."

"I wanted to" Jack pulled him close "I missed you."

"You saw me every day."

Jack kissed his neck "I missed you here at home with me, in my arms at night, waking up next to you…"

Ianto swallowed and blinked back tears "What did I do to deserve you?"

Jack sounded a little choked up too "You saved my life, my soul. Until you, I was a shell, just existing, like an automaton. You brought me back to life, made me human again." He pulled something out of his pocket, a little black velvet box "that's one of the many reasons I want you to have this."

Ianto looked at the box, it looked like a ring box. Did this mean…? "Jack?" he asked.

Jack opened the box, revealing a silver coloured ring etched with Celtic knot work, diamond encrusted Celtic knot work upon closer inspection "In this life, we've only known each other for a little over a year but we've really known each other for so much longer, in so many lives before. I knew there was something between us the night we met though I didn't quiet grasp what it was." He took a breath and snuffled back tears "Ideally I would like to spend the rest of _my_ life with you but I'm told that's not possible. I wish it was, if I could give up my immortality to grow old with you I would do it in less than a heart beat. I love you and I will stay with you for as long as you want me to stay with you" tears streamed down Jack's cheeks and he had to take several gasps for breath between the words "what I'm asking Ifan Carwyn Jones is will you marry me? Or whatever the hell they call it in this century?"

Ianto couldn't speak and couldn't hold back the tears. He could however close the distance between them and put his lips over Jack's. Finally Ianto found his voice "Yes, forever yes." He let Jack take control from there.

Jack slipped the ring onto his finger and then kissed him gently, sensuously and then pulled back ever so slightly to rest their foreheads against each other "Now, the question is," his voice was husky with emotion and lust "what did _I_ do to deserve you?"

Ianto moved his hands to Jack's shoulders (he would admire his new ring later, was it silver, white gold or platinum? Hard to tell in this light, no he would NOT turn into a bridezilla) "You smiled at me" he told Jack as if it should be the most obvious thing in the world. "Make love to me Jack, I need you inside me."

"As you wish" Jack undid Ianto's tie, took off his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt, all painfully slowly. But Ianto didn't complain, he wanted this to last for as long as possible.

He let Jack take complete control. Once Jack removed all Ianto's clothing, he pulled back the bed covers, kissed Ianto again, picked him up and laid him on the bed. Ianto sat up to watch Jack undress and feel the sheets. The bedspread and pillowcases may have been red satin but the sheets were blue cotton—Egyptian, five hundred thread count by the feel of them. It was like sitting on a cloud. How much money had they cost? No, don't care, watch the handsome man strip for you, Ianto.

Just as he was about to remove his coat Jack snapped his fingers "I almost forgot," he moved over to the chest of drawers on top of which stood a brand new stereo "I got rid of that old CD player and got this for us. Now, how about a little mood music?" he pressed a button and beautiful flute music flowed out of the speakers; 'Annie's Song' if Ianto knew his music.

Jack took off his coat and hung it on the coat stand. He moved back to the bed and stood in front of it. He swayed to the music and slipped off his braces. He was going to undress slowly.

Ianto smiled sweetly "Torture me all you want, Stallion, I want this to last."

Jack moaned "Oh, I loved the way you say 'Stallion', those Welsh vowels thrill me so."

"Stallion" Ianto said again, thickening his accent this time.

Jack unbuttoned his shirt and peeled it off "And those double L's turn me on every time."

"Oh? Then perhaps I'll say every double L word I can think off while you finish undressing. Llewellyn."

"Oh" Jack took off his undershirt "a twofer."

"Llandudno" and Ianto kept saying double L words, Jack trilling in pleasure each time till he was completely naked and crawled on top of Ianto. Ianto laid his head back on the pillows as Jack captured his lips.

"I love you" he murmured into Ianto's mouth.

"I love you too."

Jack's tongue snaked inside, exploring rubbing against Ianto's own tongue, massaging every bit of the inside of his mouth. Ianto moaned in pleasure, near ecstasy and the love making had only just started. Jack's touch was that powerful. Jack moved to Ianto's throat and began to suck lightly. Ianto ran his hands up and own Jack's back.

Ianto writhed and wriggled beneath Jack as he kissed, nipped and sucked his way down Ianto's chest to his nipples. Jack took a breath and simply stared at Ianto's chest for a moment, he traced a finger across and twirled it in Ianto's chest hair.

He looked up at Ianto "I didn't think it was possible for you to get sexier" he ran his finger over Ianto's newly toned pecs and stomach muscles. Not quite a six pack yet, but he had every intention of getting there.

Ianto blushed at Jack saying he was sexier "The clinic has a gym, I've been using it every day. It's a good distraction."

"Hmm, whatever helps. Just don't over do it, Tiger. You get any sexier, I'm gonna have to start fighting people off with a stick. Or sit on the porch polishing my gun."

Ianto smiled "Getting possessive are we?"

"Me possessive?"

"It's okay, I like it."

"Well then yes, I've been possessive since that night in the warehouse. Now, where was I? Oh yes" he lowered his head and took Ianto's right nipple in his mouth. Ianto's erection had diminished somewhat while they talked, now it was back at full force.

Ianto's little archivist was in desperate need of attention and Ianto was aching to be filled with Jack. He needed them to be touching so close they became one. Jack moved to Ianto's other nipple, when that was done he made his way down Ianto's torso, inching ever so closer to the throbbing little archivist.

Jack began fingering Ianto's balls, causing him to moan loader. Finally, Jack wrapped his mouth around Ianto's pulsating member. He started sucking slowly and worked up speed while at the same time preparing Ianto for entry. He stopped sucking moments before Ianto was ready to come. Jack produced a tube of lubricant that smelled strongly of dark chocolate and spread some on the mini captain. He put two lubed fingers back inside Ianto for a moment, making extra sure he was ready. Then he thrust inside all the way to the hilt. And Ianto lost all sense, he knew only that he was saying words of love in Welsh. Jack was speaking in English and Ianto was experiencing pure bliss and ecstasy.

When the stars and fireworks cleared, Jack was on his side, arm draped across Ianto's chest. He nuzzled Ianto's neck "Well?"

"Perfect as always, even more so after nearly thirty days without Jack lovin'. Do we have to go into work today?"

Jack kissed him "I don't recall ever saying anything about going there today. You assumed. However if you wanna go weevil hunting later tonight…"

"Sounds like a plan" Ianto held up his left hand and smiled "Think we can get…"

"It's platinum if you're wondering."

"More light in here?" Ianto finished. He sat up and reached for the box of chocolates and he was distracted by the way his ring glistened in the candle light "It must have cost a fortune."

Jack sat too "Nothing is too good for my Tiger. The chocolates if you're wondering are equal parts milk and dark chocolate truffles, caramel filled and coffee cream filled."

Ianto kissed him "I love you." He looked at his ring again "so, does this count as an engagement ring?"

"Yes, I figured something a little less flashy for the actual wedding band. Traditional."

"This is going to sound sappy and girly but do you want one? An engagement ring?"

Jack nuzzled him again "I would be happy to let the world know that I'm yours."

"Matching or different?"

"As a matter of fact," Jack got out of bed and dug something out of his coat "matching." He went back over to Ianto and held the ring out to him "Would you do the honours?"

"Jack" Ianto took the ring, it was in fact just like his "you shouldn't have to buy your own engagement ring."

Jack rolled his eyes "I'll take it out of your paycheque if that'll make you feel better."

"Deal" Ianto slipped the ring onto Jack's finger "Captain Jack Harkness, will you marry me?"

Jack crawled back into bed and kissed him "Absolutely."

…

* * *

Ianto poured Jack some coffee, they had moved down to the kitchen for lunch "I think we should have the ceremony sometime after Gavin and Christopher's. I would hate to steal anyone's thunder."

Jack looked at him "Already planning are we?"

"I'm just saying" Ianto sat down.

"When's their ceremony again?"

"July 4th."

Jack rolled his eyes "Let me guess, Christopher's idea?"

Ianto nodded "Yep, I think it's some sort of pride thing. So, do you think I should make us new suits for your grandfather's wedding?"

It took a moment for Jack to process that and he blinked "Hold the phone; one, Owen hasn't completed the DNA results yet, two, the wedding's in less than two weeks, would you have time and three, the Major says it's nothing fancy. He and Nancy don't care if the guests where jeans and Hawaiian shirts. It's not like we're in the wedding party."

Ianto took a breath "Okay, one, how did you get a DNA sample and does the Major know about it? Two, who am I? I can make you, me and Owen new suits in half that time. Three, it's not like I suggested tuxedos. That being said I should get to work on Gav and Christopher's tuxes. Tad made tuxes for Caddy, Al, Geraint and Gwill for their weddings. He also made Edie's dress and J.P's tux. I figured I'd continue the tradition."

Jack took his hand "No, the Major doesn't know about the DNA sample and Owen got some from his hairbrush when he was at his house for dinner the other night. Wasn't Rhiannon married after your dad died?"

Ianto nodded "He was working on her dress before he died. I finished it for her—didn't have time to make Johnny's tux though. I ran away after their wedding. Now, how about we talk about something else? Like setting the date and location for ours?"

"Can't we just enjoy being engaged for awhile?"

"Of course Cariad but we need to start thinking about these things. Some venues need to be reserved months or more in advance. But we want to do it before Rini's too old to be flower girl…"

Jack put his head on the table "Yeah, okay start naming locations you're interested in."

….

* * *

Ares had been trying to distract himself with a WWE match on TV but it wasn't helping. First of all, he couldn't stand that the wrestling was fake; where was the fun in that? But there hadn't any UFC matches on so he went with this. He wanted to be distracted from his depression but clearly TV wasn't what he needed.

As if on cue Aphrodite walked into the room and sat next to him "What's wrong Ares? I thought you hated that fake stuff."

"I do" he turned off the TV "but sometimes it's good for a laugh." He looked at her, she was wearing what Alexandra Tydings wore in Hercules and Xena but didn't look like her as she sometimes did to match Ares. Today Aphrodite was in her true from, a bit shorter, a bit curvier like a goddess should be and deceivingly innocent looking. "Don't you ever get tired of pink?" he asked her.

"Nope. So what's on your mind?"

Ares sighed and leaned back "My favourite general in what Hermes likes to call the 'Highlander reality' is getting married."

Aphrodite put a hand over his "And this upsets you more than when he became Catholic?"

"No, it's mainly that he's still…he's forgotten me Aphie. I never did anything to make him turn away from me and I'm not as bad as people think I am. He knew that."

"I don't think he's really forgotten you, Ares. He's just misplaced you but it's up to him to find you again."

"You've been listening to Hermes's lost rock in the forest metaphor haven't you?"

Aphrodite smiled "Maybe. Now, how about I help take your mind off things?" in an instant she was naked and she crawled onto Ares's lap and began to kiss him.

Ares moaned and his manhood strained against his leather pants "Aphie, Aphie" he moved his mouth to her neck and snapped his fingers. He was now naked too and flesh met flesh.

Aphrodite rubbed against Ares's maleness, teasing it with what it so clearly wanted to enter. Finally Ares manoeuvred them so that Aphrodite was lying on the sofa and Ares was poised above her. He stared into her eyes for a moment before lowering his head to take a nipple in his mouth, he rolled the other one between his fingers, keeping it hard.

Aphrodite moaned in pleasure and she ran her hands up and down Ares's back, thrusting her hips upwards. Slowly Ares moved his head lower down her body till he reached her full and moist pink flesh. She threw back her head in bliss as he sucked at her pleasure spot. When that was done he straightened up and drove into her to take his own pleasure. She clutched her legs to him, urging him deeper. He plunged again and again till his eyes rolled back and at last they reached climax.

…

They lay together afterwards, just enjoying being together. Ares held her close "Thank-you Aphie, you always make me feel better."

"Part of my job" she nuzzled his neck "I was watching earlier and Jack asked Ianto to marry him. Isn't that romantic?"

Ares smiled "I'm glad. Hey, you haven't met them yet."

"No, I haven't."

"Would you like to?"

…

* * *

Spring 2001, Boston, Massachusetts

Nick didn't get it—it didn't make any sense whatsoever. He liked girls, he did. Women were beautiful wonderful creatures and Robert Burns' 'Green grow the rashes' was his favourite poem because he fully agreed with it. So why the hell was he so drawn to his male math teacher? It was very confusing. The girls were all crazy for Mr. Smith because he was young and English and very handsome. Nick wasn't afraid to admit when another guy was good looking and he had no problem with homosexuality. His own father, from what Nick understood swung both ways—or possibly more—but it wasn't hereditary. Nick had read an article on the subject in AP Psychology, just because one's father was a certain way didn't mean the child would be the same, it was more random. Mind it was still being studied, science for you, it never stopped. Freud or perhaps Jung, well one of them had said we were all bisexual at our core—Nick hadn't done very well in AP Psychology.

Nick wished he could talk with his father about this whole thing but his father never had time to talk. Every time Nick tried contacting him there was always money in his mom's account the next day. Nice of him but that's not what Nick wanted.

These were his thoughts as he sat in detention one Friday afternoon waiting for the teacher that was supposed to watch him.

"Sorry for the wait" Mr. Smith came in the room, of course it would be him "had to find my red pen. Hello, Mr. Rogers," he glanced around the room "ah, looks like you're the only one today."

Nick looked around too "Apparently sir and could you not call me Mr. Rogers, it makes me want to wear a sweater and ask people to be my neighbour."

Mr. Smith chuckled as he sat at the teacher's desk "I've no idea what that means but very well, Nick. Now, have you thought about why you're here today?" he pulled out a stack of papers from his briefcase.

The irritating thing was, Nick shouldn't even be in detention, he was innocent "It wasn't me sir. I didn't free that snake, it was that curly haired Greek kid."

Mr. Smith nodded "So you said but there's no one at this school fitting that description."

Nick blinked "What? But—then he came in from the outside. I'm telling the truth sir, I don't like snakes, I would never touch one."

Mr. Smith leaned forward "You know what? I believe you but I'm afraid you'll have to serve the detention anyway. If we can find this other fellow we'll have it wiped from your record."

Nick sighed "Fair enough I guess."

"Good, now you should get some homework done. If you need any help let me know" he took up his red pen and started grading papers.

Nick opened his government textbook but couldn't concentrate on the words. He looked up at Mr. Smith who was muttering to himself about the papers he was grading. It was easy to see why so many people liked him, he was tall and lean with light red hair and blue eyes. "So" Nick said to make conversation "you're a junior? You said on the first day of school."

Mr. Smith looked up "Yep, John Smith Jr., my father is sometimes John Smith."

"Sometimes?"

"When he feels like it."

"You say the weirdest things."

"Thank-you."

Nick licked his lips "How old are you?"

Mr. Smith rose his eyebrows "That's an odd question. How old do I look?"

"Um, twenty-five?"

"That's good, let's go with that."

"What made you decide to become a teacher?"

"Seemed like a good idea at the time" he capped his pen "Nick, you should be studying. I'm giving a pop quiz on Monday, don't tell anyone else."

"Well, why'd you tell me?"

"Maybe I like you."

Nick was silent for a moment trying to make sense of that. What did he mean exactly? Like as in like or like as in _like_? "Huh?" he managed to say.

Mr. Smith got of his chair and then sat on the desk "You have a lot of potential Nick. You're very smart, you have all AP classes but your grades have been slipping lately. Is everything all right?"

Oh, that kind of like. That should be a relief but why did Nick feel so disappointed? "Sure everything's…" well, maybe he could go with some of the truth "I haven't talked to my dad in awhile. All he does is send money that I don't want or need."

Mr. Smith—John rather, Nick was getting tired of referring to him formally, was swinging his legs back and forth "I haven't talked to mine in awhile either. Where does your dad live?"

"Wales, he works for some organization. What about your dad? Where does he live?"

John took a breath "My dad is a traveller. He doesn't know I'm alive actually. I should probably find him and tell him at some point."

"Your dad thinks you're dead?"

"It's a long story. Our, um…it's a long story" there was sadness and maybe a little self-loathing in his eyes.

"Okay, I won't push."

"Appreciate it."

"So, is it John or are you called Junior?"

"What is with all these questions, Nick?" he hopped off the desk and walked over to him. "Awfully personal for a student to ask a teacher."

Nick shrugged "I'm curious and I can't concentrate on this" he indicated his open textbook.

John looked at it "Government, blah" he shut the book "let's do some maths. Come on, up, up, to the white board" he moved back to the front of the room.

Nick stood and went over to him "Why do you people add an 's'?"

John handed him a marker "Actually, you people take off the 's'. And it's DJ, by the way."

"What is?"

"My nickname."

"Oh. What's it stand for?"

DJ smiled "Maybe I'll tell you someday. Now, how about some calculus?" he wrote a problem on the board "Have at it."

"I have one more question" Nick looked at him and decided to go for it "why the hell do I wanna do this?" he put a hand on DJ's neck and kissed him. It was quite nice, nicer than he expected.

DJ pulled back and stared at him for a moment "Er…same reason that I…" he brought their lips together again and soon they were kissing quite heavily. After a few moments, he pulled back again "I could get sacked for this."

"Maybe, but at least you can't get arrested; I just turned eighteen last week."

"Oh, well, that's good then" they kissed again.

…

* * *

Six years later...

Iraq

Nick's tour was almost up, just one more week and he was free, especially since he wasn't planning on staying in the army. He was sick of this war. Maybe, he'd go visit his dad and his new family. He'd just received a care package from his dad and in it was a letter explaining Dad's family situation. Nick had no problem with it, it was nice to know he had an aunt and a little sister and a sort of little brother. The one weird bit was that Dad's partner was a few months younger than Nick but he knew his dad had a problem with dying. It was still weird though and this Ianto had a kid from a previous relationship, hence the sort of little brother Nick now had. It was weird to think that when Ianto was signing a birth certificate Nick was making fun of jocks. But apparently Dad and Ianto were really in love and that was nice. Maybe that was what made Dad contact him, he was settling and he wanted to reconnect with his family. He was looking at a picture his new little sister had drawn him when he heard his name.

He stood at attention and saluted "Captain" and then he froze when he saw who the captain was with.

"Rogers," said the captain "this is John Smith, he's a reporter with the BBC."

DJ produced what appeared to be a leather wallet and flipped it open. Inside it said _I'm really sorry for disappearing on you like that. I promise I'll explain everything._

"What?" Nick found himself saying.

"Show him around, Sergeant. That's an order" the captain began to walk away.

"But…why me?"

The captain turned to look at him "You know, you have a real problem with authority Rogers."

"Sorry sir, it's hereditary."

"Oh, mine too" said DJ "you should see the trouble my dad got himself into."

The captain rolled his eyes and walked away, leaving the two of them alone.

DJ gave Nick a smile "Look at you all grown up and…" he poked his stomach "firm, very firm."

Nick swatted his hand away "Don't touch me."

"Right," DJ to his credit did look very sorry "I guess you want some answers."

"Answers would be good. It's been six years, DJ" he looked around to make sure no one was listening "we had something great for two months and then you just disappear. Why? And why the hell do you look exactly the same. You're even wearing the same thing."

DJ sat down "I'm sorry, Nick, I really am. It's only been a few days for me."

"What?" that didn't make sense.

"I have a time machine."

"And again I say what?" Nick sat down next to him "Time machine?"

"Yes. It's time I tell you the truth."

…...

Nick was silent for a moment, taking this all in. DJ's story was unbelievable but the weird thing was Nick believed him. "Let me get this straight; you're an alien, a Time Lord from a planet far, far away."

"Yes."

"You came to Earth to get away from a war because you wanted to protest the pointlessness of it?"

"That and I was framed for something I didn't do."

"Because the council didn't trust you because of your father?"

"Correct."

"And you've heard stories that your people are gone except for your father who keeps running around?"

"Right," DJ stood up and started pacing "The thing is I can't find him to verify anything. This perception filter I have on myself, I can't get it stop working. It keeps other Time Lords and aliens from sensing me but I can't sense them either."

Nick stood too "I believe you, I don't know why but I believe you. What I want to know, is why you left me and why you're here now?"

DJ looked into his eyes "I was scared."

"Of what?"

"What I'm feeling for you. You're human, I'm not. I will live so much longer."

Nick held his gaze "Maybe I don't care about stuff like that. Why are you here now?"

"That's just it, I don't know. I didn't mean to be. My Tardis just brought me to Baghdad. I thought I'd look around anyway. I saw you there with your mates. Then I met this curly haired Greek who saw me staring at you."

Nick blinked "Curly haired Greek?"

"Yeah, it was weird. He said…"

_"Ah, love is a wonderful thing. You'd make a handsome couple. You should go for it."_

_ "I can't" DJ told him "you wouldn't understand."_

_ The Greek smiled with twinkling eyes "I understand a lot more than you would think. You only live once."_

_ DJ bit back a bark of laughter "You don't know me."_

_ "No matter how long you live you only live once…well, then there's reincarnation but that's not the point. Love like that" he pointed at Nick who was trying to buy some food "only comes along once if you're paying attention."_

_ DJ looked at Nick._

_ The Greek continued "And you wouldn't get reincarnated just regenerated, isn't that right, Time Lord?"_

_ DJ turned sharply "How did…?" but the Greek was gone._

"Anyway," DJ finished "I thought about what he said and as unnerving as the encounter was he had a point. So, I came to see you."

Nick arched his eyebrows "What did this curly haired Greek look like?"

"Well…"

Nick saw someone maybe 10 yards behind DJ "Is his hair a sort of brown?"

"Yes, with gold eyes."

"Average height? Lean? Chiselled like a Greek statue?"

"You see him don't you?"

"Behind you and he's the same bastard who framed me for setting that snake free."

DJ turned around, the Greek grinned at them and then took off running. Nick and DJ ran after him. No one seemed to notice them running though. Every time they got close to catching the Greek, he got farther ahead. Finally he vanished completely.

Nick and DJ stopped running.

"This guy can't be human" Nick said catching his breath.

"I think I have to agree. He knew I was a Time Lord, nobody should be able to tell."

"Yeah, you said other aliens couldn't…"

The Greek was suddenly floating above them "Other aliens yes" he started circling them doing all manner of acrobatics in the air "but whoever said I was alien? Not human, yes, alien, no. Don't worry nobody else can see me."

"Who the hell are you?" Nick demanded.

The Greek laughed "You'll find out soon enough. Now, I got me another Time Lord to catch. See you in Cardiff, boys." He flew out of sight.

"What the hell was that about?" then a thought came to Nick "wait, an athletic Greek who flies? Not human, not alien? Who likes snakes? No way."

DJ took a breath "If you're thinking what I'm thinking then it could be. I've heard stories about a race of Earthlings with god-like powers."

"That was Hermes?"

"Maybe."

"What does he want us to do?"

"Go to Cardiff apparently."

"I was already planning on it."

"And it looks like he's going to fetch my father."

"I could have sworn the word was catch."

"Well, I don't want to think the worst."

"Hey, do you have a cell phone on you?" Nick asked.

"Yeah, just got it. Why?"

"I wanna try and call my dad, let him know I'm coming for a visit."

"Sure" DJ handed him a cell phone "always has a signal."

Nick went back over to his package and found the phone number Dad had included and dialled.

After a couple of rings, Dad answered "This better be important unknown caller." He sounded out of breath.

"Dad, it's Nick; I'm using a friend's phone."

"Oh, Nick, what's up?"

"Not much, had a few minutes, thought I'd call to thank-you for the package."

"Oh good you got it. Ianto was worried the army would pilfer it."

"Maybe the British Army."

Dad laughed and said "Sorry it's a little late. I wanted to send it before your birthday last month but work got in the way."

"That's okay. Anyway Dad, my tour's up next week. I thought I'd come and visit. Would that be okay?"

"Absolutely, I'd love to see you. We've got someone on the couch right now but you can take the recliner…as long as you don't wear shoes."

"I'm sure I'll be able to find a hotel room or something."

"If you like, my treat."

"No Dad, you've done enough for me. Anyway, I also wanted to ask you something?"

"Sure."

"This is gonna sound crazy but with what you do have you ever run into any Earthlings with god-like powers?"

For a moment all Nick could hear was Dad's breathing and then Dad asked "Why do you ask?"

"It's a long story. Have you?"

"Maybe. Have you?"

"I don't wanna tell you over the phone and…"

"Rogers!" the captain stalked up to him "I gave you an order!"

"Gotta go" Nick hung up.

….

* * *

Back in Cardiff…

Jack hung up the phone "Weird."

"What happened?" Ianto asked.

"I think my son just got in trouble. Other than that it sounds like he may have met one of our friends or their colleagues. He's coming for a visit next week, if he doesn't end up with a court martial that is."

…

* * *

**So, what do you think? Reviews are nice. The next story line is titled "Fathers, Sons and Other Strangers." I'd best get to work on it, I'll try not to keep you waiting too long.**

**BTW, "Green grow the rashes" by Robbie Burns, rashes means rushes, if you were wondering. You have to read the poem with a thick Scottish accent.**

**I hope Jack and Ianto's rings don't sound too girly, they're not big obvious 'hey this is a diamond' diamonds. They're more like tiny 'are those diamonds?' diamonds. And even straight men sometimes where diamonds.  
**

**TTFN**


	44. Fathers, Sons and Other Strangers

**Hey gang, sorry for the delay but classes started and life is life. Anyway, I hope you like this. Especially since Ianto gets to take a break from drama happening to him personally for awhile. **

**In the coming chapters we get to deal with the family issues of Jack, Owen and some of the Doctor and Hermes as well.**

**Be prepared, we're going to get a little crazy—er. But hey, this fic is the most fun to write because anything can happen. And I mean ANYTHING. ;)**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"Fathers, Sons, and Other Strangers"

Part One

Martha had decided to finish her exams so she left him. He knew it would happen sooner or later, eventually all his companions had to get on with their lives whether it was their decision or not. The Doctor pulled a lever on the console and something very weird happened. The Tardis went a little whacky again. When everything settled down he poked his head out the door and he was back in Cardiff right where he had picked up Jack not so long ago.

"Don't worry" said an American sounding voice "you haven't jumped a lot time, about a month. It's May now" Hermes was leaning against the fountain but he wasn't getting wet.

The Doctor stepped out of the Tardis, "Hermes, did you bring me here?"

Hermes grinned and stepped away from the fountain "I did. Long time, Doctor, well, long for me anyway."

"Yes, I suppose it would be." The Doctor smiled and shook the god's hand "what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Your friend Nancy from 1941 is getting married; I thought you might like to know."

"Is she? That's nice." The Doctor thought for a moment "she must be in her eighties now."

"Yeah, love can happen at any age. Also I think your sister's ship needs repairs."

The Doctor sighed "Again? What happened now?"

"Sharks, evil sharks" Jack suddenly appeared in front of the fountain, there was a perception filter there. The Doctor should have noticed that right away, hmm, maybe Hermes' presence had something to do with it. Jack smiled "Good to see you though" he looked at Hermes with a raised eyebrow.

Hermes shrugged "What? I thought the Doctor might like to attend Nancy's wedding to your grandfather."

"What?" the Doctor asked.

Jack held up a hand "It's a long story, I'll explain later. A lot's happened since you were here last" he looked at Hermes again "I have a question for you."

Something twinkled in Hermes' eyes "Do you?"

"My son called last week, said something very interesting. Do you know…?"

Hermes grinned slyly "Why Jack, that's part of the surprise" he laughed and then disappeared in golden swirl.

Jack rolled his eyes "I hate it when he does that. Anyway, Doctor come on down."

Before they stepped on the lift Jack said "If you could not mention that whole grandfather thing I'd appreciate it."

The Doctor arched an eyebrow "Oh? Why's that?"

"I haven't told Nina yet and it's something she should hear from me."

"All right then. How's Ianto?"

"Much better, I'll let him tell you about it."

…TWTWTWTW…

* * *

Ianto handed the Doctor a cup of tea.

The Doctor took it with a smile "Thank-you, Ianto."

"Sure" Ianto nodded.

"So, tell me, how have you been?"

Ianto sat down next to him "Better the past couple of weeks. I had to spend some time in rehab, still have to do the outpatient program though."

"But it's helping?"

"Oh yes and everyone's support, that's the most important thing. Jack came to see me every day—that was a big help."

"Well, I'm glad you're doing better. How are the kids?"

"They're good; they got in trouble at school a little while ago."

"Oh?" the Doctor arched an eyebrow.

"It was justified" Jack came over to them "These twins that look like Sontarans were bullying Rini and Cory jumped in to defend her. Then there was a fight."

The Doctor's brows furrowed "Sontarans?"

"Not actual Sontarans" Ianto assured him "whatever those are."

"Okay fine, they're Idaho potatoes" Jack said "You ever have kids, Doctor?" he asked.

Jeanie who'd been working nearby went still.

"Yes" the Doctor nodded finally.

Ianto gave Jack a sharp look. Jack cringed and said "I'm sorry."

The Doctor sighed "That's all right. My eldest son got into trouble quite often at the academy. The professors thought he took after me but I never saw it."

Jeanie snorted. The Doctor ignored her.

Then Jack's mobile rang "Hello?" he answered. "Hey Nick, you in town?" it was obviously Jack's son, Nick on the other end. "Do you want—yeah, I work around there. Why?" his brows furrowed "You are?" he moved over to the computers and pulled up the CCTV "Reason you're still in uniform? I'll be right up." He hung up and went over to the lift.

…...

When Jack stepped off the lift the first person he saw was Nick. He was pale and his fatigues were covered in dirt—he looked like he'd just stepped out of the desert. Jack was about to greet him when he saw a red haired young man trying to get in the Doctor's Tardis.

"Come on" he knocked on the door "we've met, haven't we?"

"Hey!" Jack shouted "what are you doing?"

The red head froze for a moment and then he turned to face him "Hello" he said nervously "is this yours?"

"No but…"

"Dad!" Nick came over to him "where'd you come from?"

Deciding to not worry about the red head for the moment, Jack focused on his son "Hey, Nick" he smiled.

To his surprise, Nick hugged him "I'm so glad to see you."

Jack returned the hug "I'm glad to see you too, son." He released him and looked over him "what happened? You look like you just stepped out of the desert."

Nick gave a nervous chuckle "I, um, sort of did. I really, really, really, really hate to burden you with this but I think I'm in serious trouble."

For some reason Jack found himself saying "You didn't get a girl pregnant did you?"

Nick blinked "What? God, no. I haven't even—well, never mind what I haven't done."

Jack rose his eyebrows at that; was Nick saying he'd never had sex? "Well then, what's wrong and is that guy with you?" He pointed to the red head who was still trying to get into the Doctor's Tardis.

"I guess you could say that. He brought me here in this" he indicated a lamppost behind him "I'm sort of AWOL."

It took a moment for Jack to process that "First of all, how are you sort of AWOL? Second, that's a lamppost."

"It's bigger on the inside. And chances are good I'll be dishonourably discharged because of that stupid policy."

Again it took Jack a moment "What?" okay one thing at a time. Jack decided to deal with the lamppost first and then worry about Nick's army problems "Okay, are you saying that that lamppost is a Tardis?"

"Yes. DJ," he called to the red head, "get over here."

DJ approached them "Hello" he held out his hand "you must be Captain Harkness. Nick speaks highly of you."

Jack shook his hand "and you are?"

"I'm DJ."

"DJ who? And how do you have a Tardis? You can't be a Time Lord, there's only two left."

"Two?" he blinked "I've only heard stories of one. But I am a Time Lord, it's my perception filter, others can't sense me and I can't sense them. So, the owner of that" he pointed to the call box "is he around?"

"Why?"

"He's my father."

After a stunned moment, Jack tapped his blue tooth "Ianto?"

"Yeah?" came Ianto's voice.

"Send the Doctor up here. He needs to see this."

"Sure."

Within moments the Doctor arrived via the lift and walked towards them "What is it Jack? Jeanie's Tardis is being stubborn, course it _is_ a Type _42_. Didn't improve upon the 40 at all."

"Doctor, this is my son Nick" Jack introduced him first "and this one" he indicated DJ "claims to be a Time Lord."

The Doctor looked at DJ "What?"

DJ waved at him "Hello Father."

"WHAT?" the Doctor nearly shouted.

"It's me Father, DJ, your eldest child."

"What?" the Doctor squeaked "but you're not a Time Lord. I don't…"

"But I am though, I promise I am. It's my perception filter, it keeps other Time Lords from sensing me but I can't sense them either and I can't get it to stop working" he moved closer to the Doctor "You remember what happened don't you; that thing with that crazy Time Lady, the Mistress? She framed me and when war was coming they were gonna expunge my record if I fought for them. But I didn't want to so I escaped and stole my Tardis out of impound and I hid. Then I heard stories about the war. And of you." He took hold of the Doctor's hands "please Father, you have to believe me."

The Doctor sighed "If you are DJ, answer me this; what was your mother called?"

"The Nurse, the only female both your hearts could ever belong to."

That was interesting, Jack thought. Why did he go through so many female companions though?

The Doctor smiled ever so slightly and there was something different in his eyes "and if I played favourites with your nieces and nephews who would be my favourite?"

"Susan."

"And the name you were given at birth? You can whisper it if you like."

DJ leaned in and whispered something. Then the Doctor hugged him "My boy."

"Dad," Nick whispered to Jack "you think we should leave them alone?"

Jack thought about it and as curious as he was, he had his own son to talk to "Yeah, I'll take you down and you can explain to me what's going on."

The Doctor sniffed "Right then" he released DJ "show me this filter of yours and Daddy will fix it."

DJ rolled his eyes "You don't have to talk like that."

"Just you wait" the Doctor said to Jack "it'll be something easy and he'll feel stupid for the rest of the day."

Jack chuckled "Isn't that how it always is? You coming back down when you're done up here?"

"Oh yes" the Doctor waved a hand "I still have to fix my sister's Tardis."

"Auntie Jeanie's here?" DJ asked "How'd that happen?" he opened up the lamppost and it did indeed look bigger on the inside.

Jack took Nick's arm and led him to the lift.

Jack introduced Nick to everyone when they got down to the Hub, saving Nina and Ianto for last.

"This is my sister, Nina; I told you about her in the letter."

Nick smiled "hello" he said to her "nice to meet you."

Nina hugged him "Oh, look at you, you're so handsome."

"Uh, thanks. Should I call you Aunt Nina or just Nina?"

She stepped back "Nina's fine. I guess you're a bit too old to call me 'aunt'."

Jack turned Nick towards Ianto "and this is Ianto Jones, my partner."

Ianto held a coffee in one hand and he held out the other "It's a pleasure to meet you, Nick. You must get your good looks from your mother."

"Hey," Jack said indignantly as the others snickered "just because I didn't put away the dishes this morning."

Nick shook Ianto's hand "That's what she tells me. It's nice to meet you too, Ianto."

Ianto held out the coffee "Coffee? I imagine you could use one."

"Oh god yes, thank-you" Nick took the coffee and took a sip. "Oh my god, this is heaven in a cup" he looked at Ianto "so you're not a wicked step-father, that's good to know." He blinked "okay, that sounded weird. I'm sorry."

Ianto smiled "That's okay."

"And anyway" Jack put an arm around Ianto "we're not married yet. Now, son come on, we'll talk in my office" he kissed Ianto's cheek "do I get a coffee too?"

"I don't know. You drink so much of it I'm surprised your blood hasn't turned into it yet."

…

* * *

"You really love him, don't you?" Nick asked once they were in Jack's office.

"Yes I do" Jack sat on the couch and patted the spot next to him.

Nick sat "Are you really marrying him?"

"Yep, but enough about me for now. What happened to you? You've got a black eye forming and how the hell did you meet a Time Lord?"

Nick took a breath "I may as well start at the beginning. It all started my senior year of high school. I tried to call you and talk to you about what I was going through but all you'd do was give me money that I didn't want."

Jack cringed "I'm sorry. I had no idea. Ianto says communication is my worst subject but I am getting better. I'll be your dad now if that's what you want."

Nick nodded "Thanks. I think you're the only one who'd understand. I thought I liked girls and I think I still do but then DJ came along. He was my math teacher, senior year and all the girls were crazy for him. Eventually I found myself staring at him like they were. It didn't make sense and I knew your sexuality and I wanted to talk to you about it. It was distracting me so much my grades started slipping."

Jack felt awful, he should have been there for Nick when he needed him. "I'm sorry son. But it's okay, you know, what you were feeling. You can be with a man and still be attracted to women. There's nothing wrong with that and I'm not the only one who would understand. Ianto gets it, you can talk to him too if you want. In fact, he might be able to relate more."

"Considering we're the same age?"

"Something like that. That doesn't bother you does it?"

Nick shrugged "It'll take some getting used to but if he makes you happy then that's what matters."

Why couldn't Alice think like Nick? Jack had tried talking to her about recent events on Nina's insistence but as Jack had predicted Alice wasn't interested. He shoved the thoughts away "so how'd you and DJ get together?" and then it hit him. _His_ son was involved with the _Doctor's_ son. Jack would pay good money to see the look on the Doctor's face when he found out.

"Well it started with a snake…"

Jack listened patiently and wondered what the hell Hermes was up to, to so obviously be playing matchmaker like that. Nick told him about when he and DJ got together, their relationship and how DJ disappeared on him and suddenly reappearing last week at Nick's base in Iraq.

"… and then Hermes implied he was going to catch DJ's father and he took off laughing."

Jack sighed, remembering what Ares had told him of the gods' 'policy in regards to mortals and things', "I don't know what Hermes is up to but I think he's just asking for trouble."

Nick's eyes widened "You know him?"

"It's a long headache inducing story. So how'd you get that black eye?"

Nick sighed and checked his watch "My tour was officially up thirty minutes ago and maybe fifteen minutes before we got here someone caught me and DJ making out. Stupid 'don't ask, don't tell' policy. Anyway, long story short, that's how I got this" he indicated his eye "we had to run. The only thing I have with me is that care package you sent. I asked DJ to keep it in his Tardis because I didn't want anyone to get to the candy. I'm not one for sharing candy."

This was unacceptable. Jack was going to have a "word" with Nick's commanding officers. He put a hand on Nick's shoulder "Don't worry son, we'll sort this. You won't get dishonourably discharged if I've anything to say about it."

"You can do that?"

Jack grinned "I can do anything."

…

* * *

"Tiger?" Jack's voice buzzed in his ear.

Ianto tapped his Bluetooth "Yes Stallion?"

"We got anything for Nick to wear? And there's extra towels right? He needs a shower."

Ianto made his way to Jack's office "Yes and there are always extra towels."

Jack and Nick were standing outside the office "Great" Jack said "can you show him? I have some calls to make."

"Of course" Ianto nodded. He looked at Nick "right this way."

"So" Nick said once they were out of Jack's earshot "how long have you known my dad?"

Ianto balked for a moment but he recovered quickly; he had a feeling this line of questioning would start at some point. "A little over a year now, though I may have met him briefly when I was two," Ianto was aware that Nick knew of Jack's immortality.

"How?"

Ianto led him to the 'Just in Case' section of the archives where he kept extra clothes. Each TW operative was required to keep at least one spare outfit in his or her locker but every so often something would happen where one extra outfit wouldn't be enough. "My mother was in Torchwood and her father was Jack's boss."

"Wow" Nick said "and wow again" he added at the sight of the archives. "How long have you and my dad been a couple?"

"About seven months" Ianto opened a wardrobe. Well, that was how long they'd been sleeping together anyway. They'd been an official couple for about five but whatever. "Do you have a particular style in mind?"

Nick shrugged "I don't have fashion sense so I'll be happy with a pair of sweats."

"You sure you're Jack's son?" Ianto said without thinking "I'm sorry, I…"

Nick grinned which was enough to prove that yes, he was Jack's son "That's okay, I do take after my mom mostly."

Ianto opened a drawer "will jeans be okay?"

"Oh yeah, believe me, I'll take anything as long as I get out of this" he indicated his uniform. "You wouldn't happen to have any shoes my size would you? These boots are killing me."

Ianto looked at Nick's feet "Certainly, preferred style?"

"Converse sneakers but I'll take whatever you have."

Ianto smiled, finally someone who was easy to please, must be that army training "I think we can accommodate you. Short or long sleeve shirt?"

"Usually a combo. T-shirt with an open over shirt. I'm a skater boy at heart."

"Ah, then I have just the thing."

"So what about you?" Nick asked "when you were a kid, what were you like? I know when I was making fun of jocks you were signing a birth certificate but what about before that?"

Ianto thought for a moment and decided he should try and be friends with Jack's son because no way in hell was he going to be his step-father. "I was a bit of a punk to be honest."

"Really?"

"Yep, skater boy myself, bit emo and goth at times too."

"Yeah?"

"I was good at skating too, could have gone pro."

"Me too but I went and joined the army. Hey is there a skate park around here?"

"There's a place. Why?" Ianto gathered Nick's new clothes and shoes into his arms.

Nick smiled "what about a challenge? Mind, I haven't been skating in awhile."

Ianto smiled too, it might be nice to act like a teenager for awhile "Neither have I so we're even. I'll show you to the showers if you like."

…...

Ianto returned to Jack's office after showing Nick the showers and where to put his uniform. Jack however was not in his office. Ianto checked the bunker—Jack wasn't there either. Odd. He went back to the main Hub.

"Has anyone seen Jack since I took Nick to get some clothes?" he asked.

They all shook their heads and Jeanie poked hers out of her submarine "Isn't he in his office?" she said this just as the Doctor and a red head man came down on the lift.

"Has Jack gone missing?" the Doctor asked "everyone this is my son, DJ."

"Nephew!" Jeanie ran to the lift and hugged DJ as he stepped off of it.

"Aunt Jeanie!"

The Doctor approached Ianto "You can't find Jack?"

"Oh I'm sure he's around somewhere. He said he had some calls to make."

The Doctor looked at his sister who was babbling to DJ in what Ianto assumed was Time Lord speech "Jeanie, did you fix Jack's manipulator?"

Jeanie froze "Er…just a little."

The Doctor put his hands on his hips "I told you not to."

"I had to! It was the fastest way to get the missile here."

"Missile!"

"There was a megalodon…we had to kill it, brother. We had no choice, we couldn't relocate it" she was explaining as if the Doctor was responding to what she was saying. He was just looking at her though "Raxacoricofallapatorians were using a signal to bring a bunch of sharks here—we had to kill them too, the aliens not the sharks. I tried talking to them but they nearly shot Tosh, the aliens not the sharks. We couldn't call you because we weren't caught up to Martha's time yet."

The Doctor relaxed somewhat and clearly let the subject drop as he didn't say anything else about it.

"Anyway," Jeanie said "DJ meet the others." She introduced him to everyone else.

He smiled politely and looked around "It's lovely to meet all of you. Where's Nick?"

"He's taking a shower" Ianto told him.

"Ah then I'll leave him be. He's not very happy with me at the moment. Still upset I disappeared on him for six years."

"But that wasn't your fault and you were just his maths teacher" the Doctor said "why should he be so upset?"

Nick came down the stairs then, hair wet and wearing the new clothes "Where's Dad?" he asked Ianto as he came over to him.

Ianto shrugged "Don't know. That was a quick shower."

"I'm in the army" he said as if it should be obvious and then he sighed "I hope he knows what he's doing" he looked at DJ "everything all right with you?"

DJ smiled at him "oh yes, perception filter off-line. Are you feeling better?" he moved closer to Nick.

Nick's eyes softened "Shower helped. And for the record I'm not mad at you anymore."

About five seconds after everyone else got it, the Doctor's eyes widened "What? No" he looked at DJ "no? You…"

DJ shrugged "Sorry Father but I will never be into Time Ladies, didn't we have this discussion before I graduated the Academy? You remember when I was dating Skip?"

Ianto could swear he saw the Doctor's eyes whirl about in his head.

"Yes" the Doctor said "but…and that's fine but…"

Nick looked at DJ with a raised eyebrow "You dated a Skip?"

"It didn't work out though, considering our fathers were bitter rivals."

"I don't care what gender you prefer" the Doctor started pacing "I never have, you know that. And you should remember that I never approved of Skip."

"Hence why it didn't work out but in my defence he wasn't insane. It was his mad cousin, the crazy Time Bitch who took after her uncle."

"Fine and that's all in the past now. And don't swear. But you and him?" he pointed at Nick "Jack's son?"

"What's wrong with that?"

…

* * *

Owen watched with amusement but then his watch beeped. He checked the time. Ah. He stood up and not wanting or really caring to interrupt he just left. Ianto's voice buzzed in his ear "where are you going?"

"I've got to pick up my dad at the train station. Gran would do it but she's with caterers and things all day. And anyway he's staying with me awhile till he gets back on his feet. I think he's planning on moving here." There was a time when Owen wouldn't have bothered to tell Ianto all that but they were friends now.

"That'll be nice, you're lucky your dad's still around. You should take advantage of it."

"Yeah I know. He's pretty healthy though, you'd never guess he's seventy." Owen was in the tourist shop now "Jack says the nanogenes must have had something to do with it. Mind, that's physically. I'm not entirely sure about mentally."

"You got him out of the mental home though."

"Well yeah, that shithole wasn't doing any good at all. The thing is he's most normal when he wears the tin foil on his head."

"What?"

"I'll explain later" Owen was at his car now and he got in it "see ya." He clicked off and drove to the train station. Once there it took him a few minutes to find his dad.

Thank god, Owen thought when he saw that his dad wasn't wearing the tin foil hat. "Hey Dad" Owen greeted him.

Dr. Jamie Harper, at age seventy looked about twenty years younger due to the fact he was brought back to life by nanogenes, Jack suspected—they'd have to clarify it with the Doctor. But he did age and he did occasionally get ill so the things didn't make him immortal just well preserved. Owen had to wonder if celebrity chef, Martin Yan ever had a run in with these nanogenes because the man was in his eighties and he looked about forty. Dad's eyes sparkled and his hair was still blond.

"Owen" Dad smiled and hugged him.

"Dad" Owen rolled his eyes.

Dad released him "I know, we're English and we're not supposed to be emotional and the like in front of everyone but I figure the Welsh don't care."

"Probably true" Owen picked up one of Dad's suitcases "come on let's get out of here and we got dinner with Gran and Ted tonight."

"So how are you since I saw you last?" Dad asked once they were situated in the car.

"I'm good. How does it feel to be a free man?"

Dad grinned "Fantastic, I can't thank you enough for getting me out of there."

"Well Mum was wrong to put you in there. Aliens do exist; I catch them for a living."

"And I am so very proud of you, Owen."

Owen headed for his flat. "Is Arthur coming to the wedding? I know the other two are."

"Your gran tells me he said he would. I expect you all to be civil. You are brothers."

"Exactly" Owen grunted "we're not supposed to be civil to each other."

Dad sighed "Owen James."

Owen cringed "all right, I and I'm sure Ed and Rick will be civil if he is. The little brat likes to rail us."

"You tease him just as much but you're all adults now and as the elder you should set the example."

"You know, we get along fine when we're not in the same room, better since Arthur's going to uni in Dublin. But you know he's Mum's favourite because he's the baby. She didn't kick him out after she locked you up."

Dad sighed again "That is between you and your mother; I tried talking to her, you know I did. So did your gran. Anyway you'll be happy to know, she's finally agreed to a divorce."

"I don't see why she locked you up in the first place, so you believed in aliens, big deal, you were still the best heart surgeon in the country" Owen blinked, realising what Dad had said "what? You're getting a divorce?"

"Yes, she's found someone else to sponge off of. And what do you mean 'were'? I still am the best heart surgeon in the country; I just need to get back into practise."

"Well you ain't practising on me."

…

* * *

Jack succeeded in his mission to prevent his son from getting a court martial and dishonourably discharged. He had to pop to Iraq to do it and make use of some retcon but whatever. He also retrieved the rest of Nick's belongings. The Doctor wasn't overly pleased with him but that was to be expected.

Nick came home with them that night. The couch was free since Menelaus was called back to Olympus the day before. The Time Lords would be working on Jeanie's Tardis.

Rini was very happy to have an older brother, so was Cory but he was better at hiding his excitement. He did say however, "Good now you can beat up people for her." As with his father it was generally impossible to tell when he was joking "I don't like making a mess."

Nick smiled "Well, beating people up is what big brothers are supposed to be for so I'm told. I can beat up people for you too, if you like."

Ianto shook his head "While that's true, that is what big brothers are for, it is not the answer. Fighting is a last resort." He looked at Nick "this is a ongoing lesson with them."

"I see" Nick nodded "Ianto's right. Talking should always be the first approach."

"I did try talking" Cory said "those damn potatoes hit me first."

"Corrigan Aloysius!" Ianto reprimanded.

Cory cringed "Sorry but you swear all the time."

"I try not to do it in front of you and do as I say not as I do." Ianto blinked "oh god, I'm turning into my father. Shoot me, shoot me now."

"Okay" Jack picked up a water pistol that was on the coffee table and squirted Ianto with it. Fortunately it was just water, he still received a glare though.

Nina laughed "So what do we want for dinner?"

…...

"I'll find a hotel tomorrow" Nick said as they were all in the living room waiting for the pizza they'd ordered. Nobody felt like cooking, well expect for Cory but he couldn't quite reach everything in the kitchen.

"Nonsense" Jack said "you can stay as long as you like."

"Yeah," Ianto nodded "and Menelaus says the couch is very comfortable."

"Oh it is" Nick said "believe me, after a cot in the desert, shag carpeting would be comfortable."

Rini giggled and Ianto snorted.

Nick blinked "What'd I say?"

Jack patted his shoulder "Don't worry about it and Rini you should not know what that means in this country."

Ianto's mobile rang "Hello" he answered it "Hi Major. How dead is it? I see. Nancy doesn't have a car? Yeah, Owen's wouldn't be conducive and your granddaughter has a fear of convertibles?" Jack felt his eyes widen and he stared at Ianto as he finished the conversation. "I'd be happy to drive you to pick up your son. I'll see you at ten tomorrow then. Bye."

Jack swallowed and hoped Nina wasn't paying attention "What was that about?"

"The Major's car died and he needs a ride to the airport tomorrow to pick up his son, the one flying in from Chicago, and his two kids." Ianto said this all very calmly and nonchalantly in front of Nina, who Jack still hadn't spoken to about all this.

Jack blinked. His dad had two kids? What?

…

* * *

Seven months ago…

_Hermes leaned back "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before but that one lie didn't change my personality, just my accent."_

_ "It's okay. How are you half Irish? I thought Zeus was your father."_

_ "So did I for some time, but I don't look anything like him. Notice the red undertones" he indicated his hair and there were in fact traces of red in the golden brown "but Mama was with two men the day I was conceived and no, that doesn't make her a slut. You don't say 'no' to Zeus."_

_ "I wasn't going to say she was. So, I'm just guessing but if you use Danann as a surname does that mean your father is of the Tuatha de Danann?"_

_ Hermes nodded "Absolutely correct."_

_ "Who exactly?"_

_ "It's chieftain."_

_ "The Dagda? No way, he's your father?"_

Present day…

Hermes kicked at his couch "Hermes, you lying sack of…"

"What did the couch ever do to you?"

Hermes glared at Ares "Don't you know how to knock?"

"Nope, so what did the couch ever do to you?"

"If I had known you were president of the Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Furniture I would not have kicked it."

Ares smirked and flopped down on said couch "So what's wrong? Where's Sweetness today?"

Hermes rolled his eyes "I see everyone's calling her that now. She's shopping in Asgard with Mama."

"I see, so you need some don't you? Ice helps or you can always have sex with Ianto, Jack's given his permission."

Hermes sighed "Kind of him but that's not why I'm upset—besides that was before they got engaged or whatever." He sat down next to Ares "Sweetness and Mama both seem to think it's wrong to lie about who my father is."

"It is. I know why you lied, you're ashamed of him. Hermes, at least your father was actually there for you growing up instead of constantly cheating on your mother and giving you numerous half-siblings that he treats better than you."

"Okay, Ares…"

"I'm not a big fan of my father but you don't see me lying about who he is."

"Ares! I get it, all right. Sometimes I like you better the way you were portrayed in "Hercules" and "Xena.""

Ares changed into his true from; a bit more lean and slight, curly sun blond hair and deep blue eyes and he was more handsome. He resembled Zeus more than any of his brothers; just looking at him, you'd never figure that he was the god of war. Ares was proof that you could never judge a book by its cover. "Hermes, I know I'm not known for my advice giving skills but I don't think Ianto trusts you very much right now and if you ever want him to trust you again, you're gonna have to tell him the truth. At the very least he's your friend and friends are supposed to be honest with each other."

Hermes leaned back "I know. Ares, I'm sorry I never told you…"

"The truth about your sexuality?" Ares looked into his eyes "I suspected."

"How did you suspect?"

"I may have been on Troy's side during the war but I checked in on Menelaus a time or two. You left one of your sandals in his tent once."

Hermes felt his cheeks heat up "Oops."

Ares smiled "I forgive you, that's what friends do" he put his legs up across Hermes's lap "given time, I'm sure Ianto will forgive you too."

"But how am I supposed to tell him who my father is?"

"You're the god of communication and you're at a loss for what to tell someone? Personally, I think it should be easy. Just say: 'Ianto, I'm sorry but I lied. The Dagda is not my father; in fact my father would be rather offended to know I've been telling people he is. My father though he was a god, is currently trapped in an alternate reality as punishment for something stupid that he didn't really do. He's…

Hermes shoved Ares legs off of him and stood "Okay, I'll think of something, now leave me alone." Hermes walked out his front door to come face to face with his grandfather Arwen, lord of the Welsh afterlife. "Hello Tad-cu."

"Hermes," his face was grim "I have been tasked to inform you that you are in trouble."

Hermes blinked "Trouble? What trouble?"

"You, dear grandson, are to appear before the Council of Elder Gods to stand trial."

"What did I do?"

"I think you know."

…

* * *

**I think we can end the chapter there. The next one will be up in due course. I hope you like where I'm going with this. Hold on tight, it's going to a whacky ride but it should be fun, especially compared to the mega drama in "Immortality" (my Torchwood/Highlander crossover story that I'm also working on).**

**I'll explain Hermes' family tree sometime within the next couple of chapters or so. I want to deal with Jack and Owen first though. Wait till you meet Owen's brothers, it's gonna be fun.**

**Please review, it makes me happy and assures me you want more.**

**Can you guess who Hermes' real father is?**

**TTFN**


	45. Fathers,Sons and Other Strangers pt2

**Many apologies for taking so long. I was distracted by school and "Gambit and Endgame." And this chapter was hard to write.**

**Okay, we meet Jack's dad in this chapter and then Jack does a no-no. That was a horrible summary.**

**I hope you like this chapter**

* * *

"**Fathers, Sons, and Other Strangers"**

**Part II**

Frank's younger brother was an incurable gossip (if this were the 51st century he'd be sent to gossip rehab) so when Tommy told Frank about this Captain Jack Harkness, Frank looked him up. Captain Jack Harkness did indeed bear a striking resemblance to Frank's father, could have been a clone except for one or two little things that most people wouldn't notice. The crinkle at Jack's eyes was like Frank's 51st century wife and the teeth were too perfect. Nobody in the Jackson family had teeth that good, nobody until…But it couldn't be could it? Frank looked past the photo and read all Starlight had on Captain Jack Harkness.

There wasn't much but what was there had Frank pretty convinced. _Flirts with anything that moves, has an oddly attractive scent and highly knowledgeable about alien races._ He became commander of TW3 in 2000 and had been outspoken about his dislike of TW1, which was destroyed in 2006. Very recently the regional commander of Starlight West Coast helped Torchwood with a "shark problem." He hadn't said much about it. There were seven people working for TW3, three men and four women, one of whom was the Captain's sister by name of Serena. Frank pulled up a description of her—Chuck hadn't been able to acquire a photo—5'9", long brown hair, brown eyes and a smile that matched her brother's. That sounded like Frank's first born but how did she get here? Was it the Rift? Was that why she disappeared?

Two hours before he and his two younger children were to leave for the airport, Frank decided to call Chuck down in San Diego.

"Lewiston," Chuck answered.

"Chuck, it's Frank Jackson, up in Chicago."

"Hey Frank. How're things up north?"

"Windy. Anyway, the reason I called, my dad's getting remarried."

"That's nice."

"I guess. So the kids and I are heading to Cardiff today…"

"Oh, I got ya."

"And apparently my dad knows Captain Harkness. I was wondering if you could tell me anything about Torchwood that you didn't put in your report."

"Not much else to tell. Very secretive Torchwood."

Frank bit back a sigh, "I'm not asking for their secrets, Chuck. I just need to know about Harkness, what's he like?"

"What for?"

Frank thought fast, "Dr Owen Harper is the grandson of the woman my dad is marrying and if he's gonna be my step-nephew, I'd like to know if his boss is a decent man."

Chuck seemed to accept this answer, "Jack's a decent man, you can trust him. I never seen anyone so devoted to their partner."

Frank blinked, "Huh?"

"Oh, Jack doesn't claim a sexuality but he's got a partner, young guy, also works there, Ianto Jones. Makes the best coffee ever, I shit you not."

"No kidding?" Frank said for lack of anything better. He pulled up the file on Ianto Jones.

"Yep and if you're gonna meet Torchwood, they got some really pretty ladies."

"Really?" Frank said only half listening at this point. There was a picture of Ianto Jones. He was Welsh and had apparently worked for TW1 before the battle. And he was indeed young, only twenty-three.

"Especially Jack's sister."

That got Frank's attention, "What now? What about his sister?"

"She's a hottie."

"Thanks Chuck, that'll be all," he hung up.

….

* * *

Ianto and the Major arrived at the airport fifteen minutes before Franklin's plane was scheduled to arrive.

"They had to fly into Heathrow of course," the Major was saying, "U.S flights don't go to Cardiff."

"I've noticed that. But why change planes? Why not just take the train from London or ride with Tommy?"

The Major chuckled, "Very perceptive, Ianto. That's exactly what I asked him. Frank hates trains, and I speak from experience when I say that he and his brother in the same car for over an hour is hell."

"But they're grown men." They were waiting outside the baggage claim.

"Yep, and? Tell me, pick any one of your brothers and sit in the same car for more than one hour."

"No way," Ianto said without even thinking about it.

"See, there ya are. So, Jack and Nina have any brothers?"

Oh dear. Ianto hoped this wouldn't turn into a line of questioning that would lead to Ianto revealing Jack's lineage. "I think they had a half brother."

"Any idea why Owen pinched some of my hair last week?"

Whoa. Where had that question come from?

"Er…what?"

"I was in the US military boy, noticing details saves lives. Do I need to have a talk with Franklin?"

Ianto sighed, he could not lie to Major Jackson, "Yes. Do you know what happened to him, those years he was missing?"

"No. Claims he has no idea; one minute it was 1970, the next it was 1990 and he was in Chicago instead of Cardiff. Lying through his teeth though. He knows what happened, he just refuses to say."

Ianto swallowed, "Jack's given name is Franklin John Jackson Jr."

The Major smiled, "Well now, ain't that something."

"Grandpa!" a girl about twelve or thirteen ran up to them and wrapped her arms around the Major.

"Hey there, Phoebe sweetie."

A man, obviously Franklin—Ianto recognised him from pictures—and a boy, maybe fourteen approached them. "Hey Dad," Frank said.

"Frank," the Major shook his hand warmly. And then he shook the boy's hand, "How ya doing, Dwight?"

"Good."

Suddenly Ianto felt very nervous, he was about to meet his partner's father. He swallowed.

The Major cleared his throat, "Kids, this is Ianto Jones, my best patient and a good friend. He was kind enough to drive me here to pick you up. Ianto, this is my eldest boy, Frank and his kids, Dwight and Phoebe."

Frank shook his hand, "Nice to meet you, Ianto."

"And you sir. Your father speaks very highly of you."

"Sir?" Frank said with a grin, "What century were you raised in? See, Dwight," he looked at his son, "There are still young men who are polite to their elders. Take notes."

Dwight rolled his eyes, eyes that were the same as Jack's.

"This is a mega cool car," Dwight said once everyone was inside, "you must be rich to afford an Audi."

"Dwight," Frank said in a warning tone.

"It's okay," Ianto glanced at him through the rear-view mirror, "Thanks, Dwight but I'm not rich. My job pays well but not that well. Besides my partner bought this for me."

"You're gay?" Phoebe piped up, "That's cool. Are you married? 'Cause that is a really pretty ring you have."

Ianto was going to say he was bisexual but decided to forget it since no one ever believed him anyway. "Yes I am. No, I'm not married." He debated telling them about the engagement. Jack should be the one to tell his father, "and thank-you, my partner has a matching one."

Phoebe made some sort of girly sound, "That is so sweet. Who gave who first?"

"He gave it to me," Ianto answered with a smile. That day had made him the happiest man on earth.

"Ianto," said the Major, "take us to Mermaid Quay and join us for lunch."

"Oh, I don't want to impose."

"Nonsense, consider it a thank-you for driving us."

"Please Ianto?" Phoebe said, "It'd be so cool, you can tell all about your partner."

"Phoebe," Frank said.

"It's okay," Ianto looked at Phoebe through the rear view mirror. What was it about that smile Ianto couldn't resist? "All right," he conceded, "let me just clear it with my boss." He tapped his Bluetooth, "Jack?"

After a moment Jack answered, "Sorry, babe I was washing my hands. You on your way back yet?"

"Not quite. They've invited me to lunch, is that okay?"

He heard Jack breathe in deeply, "I suppose. Where at?"

"Mermaid Quay, so I'll be nearby if you need me."

"All right, I might find you and meet these people myself."

"Have you done what…?"

"No," Jack clicked off.

Ianto sighed; Jack hadn't hung up on him since before they were a couple. But Ianto gave him the benefit of the doubt, he'd be a little edgy too if he found out his father was alive. Especially since Ianto had been there when he died.

….

* * *

By the time they'd reached Mermaid Quay, Frank decided that he approved of Ianto Jones. Ianto was clean cut and polite, well there was the alcohol problem but he seemed to be getting over that. More importantly he seemed genuinely in love with Captain Jack Harkness who Frank was pretty convinced was Frankie.

"Where would you like to eat?" Ianto asked the Major as he parked the car.

The Major turned in his seat, "Kids?"

Frank shrugged, "Whatever you like Dad. You live here."

"Herb and Elllie's, you feel like a sandwich, Ianto?" the Major asked him.

Ianto smirked ever so slightly, "I don't know, do I look like one?"

"Smart alec," the Major muttered.

Phoebe giggled, "I like you, Ianto. You're cool."

"Thank you."

Once out of the car, Frank walked next to Ianto, "So, I understand you're in Torchwood."

"Yes sir and you're in Starlight."

"You did your homework."

"No, your brother said it was the name of your company in Chicago."

"He always was a little tattle tale," Frank muttered.

Ianto looked at him with an arched eyebrow, "That's what little brothers are for, sir."

Frank smiled, "You have brothers?"

"Six of them, all older."

"Wow," said Phoebe, clinging to Ianto's arm, "you have six brothers? Do you have any sisters?"

"Three, also older," he didn't seem overly bothered by Phoebe clinging to him.

"Would you like a little sister?"

Ianto smiled a little, what he must be thinking, Frank couldn't tell, "Well, we might be able to arrange that."

Once they had their food, the five of them sat outside the deli in the apparently rare Cardiff sunshine. Frank would have liked to ask Ianto some more questions but Phoebe was hogging him and Ianto didn't seem to mind at all. He was patient, he'd have to be if he was in a relationship with Frankie. That boy couldn't sit still if his life depended on it. Dwight was talking to the Major about a history project, which left Frank no one to talk to. He was so wrapped up in his own thoughts he didn't notice when the man in grey approached them until Ianto said his name.

"Jack."

"Is that Jack?" Phoebe asked, "oh my god, he is so hot."

Frank stared at the man he knew to be Captain Jack Harkness. He had suspected but he couldn't really believe it.

"Hey there sonny," the Major said to Jack, "you up for a little family reunion?"

"I had to tell him," Ianto said quickly, "he noticed Owen messed with his hair brush."

Frank finally remembered the ability to stand. He stared at Jack's face, into his eyes. Then he saw the wrist strap. Time Agent. That would make sense. "Frankie," he said at last, "is that you?"

Jack's eyes glistened, "I thought you were dead," his voice was thick and hollow at the same time, "I saw you dead," his voice became louder and he cleared his throat. He moved closer, "but then my memories have been fucked with so many times."

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again," Frank's voice came out thickly, "I'm so sorry son, I didn't want to leave you."

"Um, excuse me," Dwight spoke up, "Dad, what's going on?"

Before anyone could answer, a woman approached them from behind Jack, "Franklin John Jackson Jr.!" she shrieked.

Jack looked petrified and Frank knew that this woman had to be Serena. She walked in front of him and faced Jack, hands on her hips, "Why didn't you tell me?" she shouted, "You left the CCTV on in your office. I had to find out from Owen!"

"Don't yell at me," Jack said defensively and for a moment they were children again in Frank's eyes, "I had to find out for myself first. I'm sorry, okay."

"Serena," Frank said softly, "is that really you?"

She turned, "Daddy? Daddy!" she threw herself in his arms.

He held her close, "Oh baby, what happened to you? You just vanished."

"Seems to be a family trait," Jack muttered.

…

* * *

Ianto picked up his water bottle and went over to his partner. If he were in Jack's shoes right now, he'd be craving something alcoholic. Therefore, Jack probably needed some water. He put a hand on Jack's shoulder and gave him the water, already opened.

Jack drank it all, "Thanks."

"Seriously Dad," Dwight said, clearly agitated, "what's going on?"

"It's obvious," said Phoebe, "Dad had a family before us."

The Major stood with a stretch, "I think it's time we take this inside."

…

Jack normally oozed confidence but on the way to the tourist office, Ianto could tell just how nervous and scared he was. Ianto reached for his hand and gave him a reassuring smile.

Jack squeezed his hand and smiled back. Then, just as they reached the office, he looked at Phoebe and Dwight as if just noticing them. "Where'd they come from? What are their names?"

"Dwight and Phoebe," Nina said, "Didn't you catch that?"

"Dwight?" Jack blinked, "Your name is Franklin," he looked at Frank, "your brother is Thomas and," he looked at the Major, "you're Theodore. Is there a theme in this family?"

"Yup," Phoebe said, "all the boys are named after presidents. But this is so cool," she grinned at Jack, "you're my brother. Are you gonna marry Ianto? 'Cos then I could be his little sister too."

Ianto's cheeks flushed but Jack seemed to get some of his confidence back as he grinned at Phoebe, "Yes as a matter of fact, we just haven't set a date yet."

"That is so awesome!"

"Shut up, Phoebe!" Dwight snapped, "We have more important things to worry about."

Ianto quickly excused himself from the group and opened the office door. "I'll go in the back and make some coffee shall I?" without waiting for a response, he went through the beaded curtain.

…

* * *

Jack sighed, Ianto was always using coffee as an excuse to get out of an uncomfortable situation. But then maybe he felt Jack needed some time alone with his family. He led the others inside and closed the door behind them. Jack leaned against it.

Phoebe looked at Nina, "and you're my sister. I've always wanted a big sister."

Nina smiled, "and I've always wanted a little sister."

"Hence why she forced me in drag and covered me in glitter when I was four," Jack found himself muttering.

"I did not," Nina said.

"You did too."

Dad sighed and rubbed his temples but otherwise said nothing.

The Major leaned against the counter, "All right Franklin, confession time, you do remember those twenty years, don't you?"

"Dad," Dwight crossed his arms, "again I ask, what's going on?"

"Yeah Dad," Jack matched the boy's stance, "I can accept you not really being dead, but how did you get here?"

The smell of brewing coffee filled the small space and then Ianto brought two chairs form behind the curtain.

"If anyone would like to sit down," he set them up and then quietly disappeared back behind the curtain.

Dad sank into a chair with a heavy sigh, "Where should I start?"

"How about June 29th 1970?" said the Major.

Ianto came back through the curtain with three coffee mugs and a glass of soda on a tray. What did he keep back there? Jack wondered. Ianto handed the soda to Nina and passed out the coffees to Dad, the Major and Jack. The kids still had their drinks from the deli. Jack put a hand on Ianto's arm to stop him from leaving, "stay."

"But…"

"It's okay," Dad said and he took a sip from his mug, "wow. You'd find out sooner or later anyway. This is delicious."

"Thank you sir," Ianto nodded.

Dad took a breath, "June 29th 1970, I was here in Cardiff helping my parents and younger siblings move into their new house…"

The story he told was surprisingly likely. It was the Rift that had taken him and sent him over 3,000 years to the future and to another planet. The first person he met was Ava Greenwood, Jack and Nina's mother. She brought him to Boeshane officials and they seemed to accept him. Mom and Dad fell in love, got married and a year later Nina was born. Six years after that they had Jack. And six years after that Mom really did cheat on Dad and Gray was born.

According to Dad not long after Nina disappeared some thugs grabbed him and shoved him in a room full of angel statues. The next thing he knew he was back in Chicago and it was 1990. In order to be believable he had to feign amnesia and then he joined Starlight.

Jack held up a hand, "Angel statues?"

"Yes. Son, I'm sorry if you remember differently but I didn't die and I didn't want to leave you."

Ianto's brows knitted together, "what do angel statues have to do with anything?"

"Some of them are aliens," Jack explained, "if you look at them, rather if you don't look at them, if you blink, they'll send you into the past. How nice of them to send you to the 20th century," he looked back at Dad.

"I know, I couldn't believe the luck."

Jack sighed and said to Ianto, "You think Hermes is gonna get in trouble for all this interfering he's doing?"

"You think he had something to do with it?"

"Who else would it be?"

"Who's Hermes?" Dwight asked.

"You'd only get a headache," Jack told him. This was too much though, Jack needed some air. He was glad his dad was alive he really was and he believed his story. But to know that his memory was screwed over more than just the time he knew about really pissed him off.

Dad stood up, "You okay, son?"

"I believe you, I do but this is a lot to take in. I've got 10,000 other things to worry about right now and I just need some time to think."

"I understand."

"Ianto, why don't you take them to the Major's house and I'm gonna get some air."

Ianto nodded and gave him a kiss, "Okay."

…

* * *

Jack walked into King's Cross, one of the swankiest gay bars in town, not caring if anyone was watching on the CCTV and not thinking that what he was about to do would be a threat to Ianto's sobriety, let alone his own. He needed a drink.

"Jack," greeted the bartender, "haven't seen you in awhile."

Jack sat at the bar, "Been busy. Vodka tonic please Ben."

"That's John Barrowman's drink," Ben got to work on the drink, "doesn't come in often."

"You're such a name dropper, Ben," Jack said neutrally.

"Well okay, I read that online. I haven't met him. You sure do look like him though," Ben set the drink before him.

"I get that a lot," Jack picked up the drink and drank it down quickly. After a shudder—it'd been awhile—he set the glass down, "another."

Ben's eyes fell on Jack's left hand, "Problems on the love boat?" he poured some more vodka.

Will be when I'm done here, Jack thought but he took another drink, "Nah, my dad's in town." It felt surprisingly good to tell the truth for once.

"Ah," Ben said knowingly, "Gotchya."

…

* * *

The first thing Ianto asked when he returned to the Hub was, "Is Jack back yet?"

"No," Gwen said, "what happened up there?"

"I don't think that's any of our business," said the Doctor, "but what happened Ianto? Something with Jack's dad, right?"

Ianto sighed and decided to tell them the gist, "Jack's dad is from this time but the rift sent him to the future and apparently angel statues sent him back."

The Doctor cringed, "Pesky things them. Martha and I got trapped in 1969 once."

"Where's Nina?" Jeanie asked.

"With Frank and them. She's taking this a lot better than Jack. He seemed rather pensive when he left."

"He's probably brooding on a rooftop somewhere," Owen pointed out.

"Yeah, so I'm not worried. He just needs some time. I've got some stuff to sort though in the archives, send him down when he gets in, please."

…

Two hours later and Jack still hadn't come back. Owen tried his mobile, it was turned off. How long could he possibly stand on a roof and brood?

Ianto came up from the archives, "All right, Tosh I think it's time for an intervention. He doesn't usually take this long so can you find out which rooftop he's on?"

"Sure," Tosh started to go through the CCTV.

"I'm gonna go straighten out his office, let me know when you find him." Ianto went up to Jack's office.

"I don't believe it," Tosh said after a few minutes.

"What is it?" Owen went over to her.

"Jack went into a bar two and a half hours ago and hasn't left since."

"What's that now?" the Doctor joined them by Tosh's workstation.

"Why would Jack go to there?" Gwen asked.

"Go where?" Ianto came out of the office, "where is he?"

Owen took a breath, "Ianto, keep calm all right, he's at King's Cross."

Ianto blinked, "Please tell me you mean the train station in London."

"Sorry mate, wish I could."

Ianto took a few deep breaths, "You'll have to fetch him then. I can't go near a bar," he kicked at a chair, "what the hell is he doing there? I'll kill him and I'll kill him again."

Owen put a hand on his arm, "Don't worry Ianto, I'll sort him out."

…

The Doctor volunteered to go with him. They stood outside the bar, neither one wanting to go in but knowing they had to.

"You ever seen him drunk before?" Owen asked.

"Once," the Doctor nodded, "we went to this restaurant at the end of the galaxy once; Rose and I left him alone for five minutes and he got sloshed. It wasn't pretty but that was before he was immortal."

Owen took a breath and reached for the door. He paused, "How much do you reckon would he have to drink to get drunk?"

"A lot, his body would automatically flush it out so he'd have to drink quite a bit to counteract that."

"Right well, let's do this."

They went inside. They spotted Jack sitting at the bar, he was gulping down a drink of some kind. They approached him.

"Can I help you gentlemen?" the bartender asked.

"We're here for him," Owen indicated Jack, "Jack, what the hell are you doing?"

Jack saw them and grinned—he smelled like a distillery, "My twos flavour ducks, join me," he waved at the bar and he was slurring his words.

"Jack," the Doctor said gently, "we've come to take you back to the office."

"I don wanna go back to the…the…there," he finished the drink in his hand, "I jush wanna stay here and forget everyting."

"And what about that ring on your finger? You wanna forget that to?" Owen said.

Jack looked at his ring, "Shhhit. Does he know I am here?" he wobbled on the barstool.

"Yeah and he's none too happy."

Jack groaned, "Fuck."

"Language Jack," the Doctor warned at the same time Owen said, "Yeah, I don't think that's gonna happen to you tonight."

"But he'll udderstan," Jack stood and promptly fell to the floor.

Owen rolled his eyes, "How much has he had?" he asked the bartender.

The bartender looked contrite, "Er…a lot."

"There a reason you haven't cut him off yet?"

In response the bartender pointed to a broken table.

"Shit," Owen said.

"No go 'way!" Jack shoved at the Doctor who'd been trying to help him up, "big meanie."

The Doctor looked down at him, "I'm not a meanie."

"Are, you left me in da…ek dust," Jack got to his feet, "I would like some more drink."

"Well you're not getting any," Owen tried to grab him.

…

Owen and the Doctor leaned against the bathroom door, both breathing heavily. The bartender had barricaded himself in a back office.

"I think," Owen caught his breath, "we're going to need help," he pulled out his mobile and called Ianto's brother Gwill.

…

* * *

When Jack woke up he was in a Torchwood cell. He remembered going to the bar and possibly seeing Owen and the Doctor there. That was a weird image and then he remembered Gwill grabbing him…oh gods.

This wasn't good and clearly he hadn't died, because he felt sick and dizzy. Why the hell couldn't he have died? The next thing he noticed was that he wasn't wearing his coat and he smelled like a distillery. Ianto was going to kill him.

"Still an idiot, I see?"

Jack yelped when he saw the owner of the voice, it was Ifan Davies "Aren't you dead?" Jack pressed against the far wall of the cell and brought his knees to his chest and then he saw the person next to him. It looked like Gwill but he was dressed like Taliesin Jones. Why were Ianto's grandfathers haunting him?

"Harkness," said Taliesin, "what the hell were you thinking threatening our youngest grandson's sobriety?"

"I'm sorry," Jack told them, "I wasn't. It's just…I was stressed and I know that's no excuse."

"That's your problem Jack," said Ifan, "you don't think."

Then Jack noticed something odd about the pair, "Wait, why is one of you solid and the other transparent?" he figured it out. Taliesin was actually Gwill and Ifan was a hologram, "That's not funny!" he shouted to the air.

The image of Ifan disappeared and Ianto's voice came over the intercom, "Neither was you getting drunk, what were you thinking, _Franklin_?"

Jack cringed, Ianto must have been really upset if he was using his real name, "I'm sorry Tiger, I wasn't thinking. I guess I just needed a release." As soon as he said it he knew it was the wrong thing to say.

"A release? And alcohol was the only way to achieve that? You could have come to me and I would have made you feel better. I couldn't go near you when they brought you in, you know that? And I still can't go near you not till you shower. Gods, do you know what a hypocrite you were getting drunk like that?"

Jack looked up towards the camera, "Tiger baby…"

"Don't Tiger baby me, we'll have a chat later. I really ought to let Gwill beat you up. As you can see that's what he wants."

Jack looked at Gwill, he was punching one hand into the other. Jack gulped.

"However," Ianto continued "that won't happen. Gwill, show him in and come back up here."

"Show who in?" Jack asked as Gwill went through the door to the cell block.

"I called your daddy," said Ianto.

"You did what?" Jack squeaked.

Sure enough Dad walked through the cell block door and stood in front of Jack's cell, "Open the door" he said to the camera.

The cell door opened and Dad walked in, "Hello son."

Then there was a resounding click over the intercom, indicating that no one was listening anymore.

"Hi Dad," Jack choked out.

Dad kneeled in front of him, "I'm guessing we need to have a talk about how you're feeling."

"I guess."

Dad sighed heavily, "I'm sorry you thought I was dead. I'm sorry the agency messed with you so much."

The way Dad was looking at him, Jack felt ten years old again, "That's not why I'm upset. I'm not sure why I am. I'm glad you're alive Dad, I really him. It's a shock, I guess."

Dad smiled slightly, "It's a shock for me too. Seeing you all grown up with a family, commander of Torchwood, and apparently immortal."

"Heard about that have you?"

"Well I was wondering why you hadn't died of alcohol poisoning and I had heard rumours, considering Starlight has records of you from 1961."

Jack cringed, "Suspicious bastards. No offence," he added remembering that his father was in Starlight.

Dad gave him a genuine smile that time, "None taken. Anyway so I asked and Ianto and the Doctor confirmed it."

"Does it bother you?" Jack asked meekly.

Dad shook his head, "No, but I am worried for you. Are you stuck like this?"

"Doctor says I'm a fixed point in space and time. It can't be reversed and it's not hereditary."

"Then you'll be forced to watch your own children and all those you love…"

"Yeah," Jack interrupted not wanting to hear the rest of that sentence.

"I'm sorry."

Jack shrugged, "Can we talk about something else? Like am I grounded?"

"I think that'll be up to Ianto. You're a bit too old for me to ground you anymore. How are you feeling?"

Jack groaned "Like I need a coffee but something tells me I won't be getting one."

Dad patted his shoulder, "I get the impression Ianto's not that cruel."

"You're right but I will probably sleep in the living room tonight. If we had a dog I'd be sharing the dog house."

"Something else bothering you? You're surprised you have new siblings."

Jack sighed, oh yeah them. "Surprised is an understatement. I didn't think I'd ever see you again. I get you back and find out I'm no longer your youngest in the same day. It's a bit overwhelming. Nina told me Gray wasn't yours, Mom never did."

"Yeah sorry about that. And I guess it would be overwhelming."

"I mean, I've been on this planet for over a century and I feel like a kid right now. I'm still waiting for you to yell at me."

"Why would I do that? Do you want me to tell you that what you did was stupid and that you were threatening your partner's sobriety? I think you already know that."

Jack suddenly found the floor very interesting. "How come you never told us that you were from the 20th century?"

"Changing the subject when the other party is correct is a Jackson family trait," Dad sighed "I never thought I'd ever get home. I didn't see the point of bringing it up. Your mother knew. I'm sorry she didn't tell you."

"Yeah," and then Jack told him everything. He told him about what he thought had happened to him and Gray. He told him about the Agency and Sarah and Rini, about those missing two years and meeting the Doctor and Rose, about how he became immortal and how he ended up to Torchwood. By that point he was crying and he hadn't even gotten to more recent events yet.

Dad wrapped his arms around him and rubbed his back "It's okay son, it's gonna be okay."

Jack clung to him "and I missed you. Nina's been helping me to sort out the real memories but…"

"We'll all sort it out together, okay son. Don't worry."

Jack wasn't sure what he was saying anymore "And now I'm not your youngest. I know I don't even know them but it's like I've been replaced…"

"Hey, don't talk like that" Dad pulled away a little "look at me. Listen, I never forgot you and your sister and you were never replaced. I thought of you every day, Frankie, I promise. You will always be my son and now you're my oldest son. I love you."

Jack sniffed, "I love you too, Dad" he hugged him again and rested his head on his shoulder. When Jack's tears had run out he realised he still felt like shit, his head pounded and his stomach churned. Then he threw up all down his father's back.

Jack pulled away "Dad I'm sorry."

Dad sighed "Now there's something you haven't done since you were a baby."

Jack cringed, "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, really. You have showers around here?"

…

* * *

Jack slept on the recliner that night as Nick had the couch. Ianto still hasn't happy with him. While Ianto had said he understood and forgave him, he felt Jack still needed a night away from their bed to really drive the point home.

Jack had decided it was wise to not have said, "But you can drive the point home as hard as you want to punish me."

At least things were going great with Jack's dad. And in a couple of days would be Jack's grandfather's wedding to Owen's grandmother. How had that happened? He and Owen were going to cousins. Weird.

Jack sighed, as much as he loved this recliner he couldn't sleep and Nick snored like a train wreck. He suspected it was because he was sleeping alone—DJ was with the Doctor again doing father/son bonding stuff and still trying to fix Jeanie's Tardis, something wasn't calibrating right.

Jack got up and went into the kitchen to avoid the temptation to smother his own son with a pillow. He leaned against the counter, this spending a night away from his and Ianto's bed was not pleasant.

A few moments later, the very person he was thinking about came into the kitchen.

"Can't sleep?" Ianto asked.

"You do hear him right? If he snores like that when he's with DJ I'm going to wonder if that Time Lord is secretly deaf. What about you? You can't hear him from up there can you?"

"No, thankfully, I just can't sleep" Ianto took his hand "come to bed."

Jack arched an eyebrow, "What about my punishment?"

Ianto kissed him "Punishment over. Come to bed."

"As you wish," and Jack pulled him into a deeper kiss.

* * *

**Next chapter I'm planning on bringing in Owen's brothers. They're HOT so I think you'll like them.**

**I'm sorry there wasn't a love scene in this chapter but the next time I think of one I'll put one in.**

**Please review, reviews keep me going.**

**TTFN**


	46. The Jackson Harper Party

**Firstly: I am so, so, so, very, very, very sorry for the long wait but this chapter gave me trouble. We meet a lot of new people and my head nearly exploded several times thinking about it.**

**Okay, these first scenes should have gone at the end of the last chapter but my mind works weird sometimes. Rating: M. This is for you hotflower901, I hope it's satisfying, you know love scenes aren't my forte.**

* * *

Ianto pulled Jack into their room and shut the door behind him. He pulled Jack's t-shirt off over his head. "Despite what I just said down there I still feel you should be punished" his voice was thick with lust.

He was taking charge again, Jack had gotten hard when Ianto asked him back to bed and now he was even harder. "Punish me all you want Tiger" he grinned.

Ianto smiled seductively, pushed Jack down on the bed, and then let his robe fall to the floor revealing his delectable naked body. Then Ianto straddled him.

"Ianto" Jack moaned "I've still got these damn boxers on."

"I know" Ianto twisted Jack's nipples.

Jack yelped "Playing it rough, huh? I like it."

"Do you?" Ianto got off him and slipped his boxers down—actually they were Ianto's; Jack had to wear something to sleep in the living room "Turn over on your hands and knees. Face the headboard."

"You got it Tiger" Jack did as he was told.

Ianto got off the bed "Get closer to the headboard, Frankie" he opened the nightstand drawer.

"I guess you mean business if you're calling me that," Jack crawled closer to the head of the bed. Ianto crawled next to him, nipped at his ear and then handcuffed him to the bed.

Ianto's whisper in his ear sent pleasurable shivers down his spine "I'm going to spank you now. You've been a very naughty boy. Haven't you, Frankie?"

"Yes, yes I have."

Ianto positioned himself directly behind Jack and smacked his rear end "What have you been?"

Jack moaned "A very naughty boy."

"Yes you have" he smacked him again.

"You can hit harder than that, Tiger."

Ianto whacked his butt a few more times, then laid on his back between Jack's legs and took the mini captain in his mouth.

"Yes Ianto yes."

Ianto sucked till just before Jack was ready to come and then he stopped "I want you to come with me, Stallion."

"Then you better hurry up, babe."

Ianto slipped from between Jack's legs and got on his knees. He placed a kiss on Jack's lower back and worked his way down. This was one of Jack's favourite parts; Ianto slipped his tongue inside him. When Jack was sufficiently prepared, Ianto replaced his tongue with the delightfully not-so-little Archivist.

"God, Ianto! Yes! More!"

They came together and Ianto managed to un-cuff Jack before collapsing on top of him.

…

Jack kissed Ianto awake, "Morning Tiger."

"Bore da," Ianto smiled as he snuggled closer.

"You know what I realised?" Jack asked.

"Hmm, what?"

"That in the seven months we've been together we have never been on a date."

Ianto thought about it, "Shit, you're right. Not just the two of us anyway."

"So, I was thinking that maybe after the Major's wedding, we can go out."

Ianto kissed him, "That'd be nice."

"And maybe we can go on a little holiday, just you and me. Because I don't know if I want to wait till the Honeymoon to go away with you."

"What brought this on?"

"I don't know, I guess things have been put into perspective lately. I thought it might be fun to do something where we can pretend we don't have kids or face aliens on a regular basis. You know be one of those average couples."

"Might be interesting," The truth was Ianto desperately wanted to do that, it was like Jack read his mind…or his diary. Ianto bit Jack's nipple, "Let's talk about a holiday on our date."

"Okay, there a reason you just bit me?"

"You didn't read my diary did you?"

"Tiger, I know better than that. Why would…ah, I see. You were thinking the same thing. I think I'm offended that…"

Ianto silenced him with a kiss "Sorry Stallion, I guess we just think alike."

Jack smiled "Well we are a couple. I'm not really offended."

"We should get up and get to the Hub. Get some work done before the barbecue later."

Jack sighed, "Yeah, you're right."

"And I need to make sure yours and Owen's suits fit you for the wedding."

"But it's not till the day after tomorrow."

"Exactly why we need to try them on today."

…

* * *

**Now before we begin this chapter, here's some stats on Owen and his family, and a few other characters we see just so we don't get confused (and when I say we, that includes me)**

**First off, Owen, his brothers and their father are all geniuses and completed their A Levels earlier than average.**

**Owen James Harper: Born: 14 February 1982, he's a doctor of medicine and extremely knowledgeable in other areas such as biology and chemistry. He's the eldest and often snarky, sarcastic, and cynical. He was kicked out of home at age 16 by his mother because he opposed her decision to have his father committed. He went to stay with his grandmother while he finished school. I don't need to tell you who we'll picture him as.**

**Edward Jack Harper: Born: 12 May 1983, he's going for his PhD in Biochemistry, and he does acting on the side. He currently has a role in the WWII era movie Ianto's brother Drystan is filming with Robin Chadwick who we met several chapters ago (Robin does not belong to me). Ed is the usually calm one of his brothers and often the mediator. We're picturing Santiago Cabera also known as Lancelot from BBC's Merlin—BEFORE he cut his hair as Ed. Picture Eoin Macken who plays Gawaine on Merlin as Drystan Jones.**

**Richard John Harper: Born: 17 September 1985, he's studying Astrophysics at the University of Arizona in Tuscan. He was always the "nerdy" one. The last time his brothers saw him he actually looked like a geek. Now he looks like he should be posing for Playgirl (not that he has). He's bringing his girlfriend Kendra to the family reunion/wedding. Picture Tom Hopper who played Percival in BBC's Merlin and Jeff in Doctor Who series 5 ep. 1 "The Eleventh Hour" as Rick.**

**Arthur Julian Harper: Born: 31 October 1987, he's studying Anthropology in Dublin. He's the bratty prattish one, labelled by his brothers as "Mother's favourite" because he's the baby. He can be a bit snobbish at times but underneath he is a good and noble young man. Accompanying him to the party is his roommate Mervyn O'Shea who often gets him out of trouble. Secretly, they battle supernatural forces in Ireland but we might not get into that…at least not for a long while. Picture Bradley James also known as Arthur Pendragon from BBC's Merlin playing him and of course picture Colin Morgan (Merlin) as Mervyn. **

**I told you they were HOT. Look them up if you don't know BBC's Merlin.**

**Now moving on:**

**Dr James "Jamie" Harper: We met him the chapter before last. He's the boys' father and let's say he was born on 12 March 1937. At age four he was killed by a German bomb, probably only moments later another object fell and he was brought back to life (sort of by nanogenes). He of course was the little boy in "The Empty Child" and "The Doctor Dances". I'm not retelling the story. Anyway, he gets better. He doesn't get sick easily and he heals quickly. At age 70 he looks about 50 but he is not immortal. At Uni he studied medicine specialising in cardiology. In his spare time he watched for UFOs and the like most people thinking he was a lunatic. He can see things most people can't and wearing tin foil on his head helps him to not see those things. He was able to handle it well enough so he wouldn't need the tin foil when he was out in public. He put his career and hobby before marriage. He finally married in 1981 at age 44 and a year later his eldest son was born. 16 years later though the "visions" got too much and his wife placed him in a mental home despite the protests of his mother and children. Because he looks about 50 let's picture Anthony Head (a.k.a. Uther from "Merlin" and Giles from "Buffy") as Jamie.**

**Nancy Harper: She's roughly 85 years old and like her son is well preserved. The nanogenes when they fixed Jamie helped her out as well, prolonging her life. She also eats her vegetables. She raised Jamie as a single mother with help from Dr Constantine until his death. Nancy was a foster mother to several orphaned children over the years till she moved into a retirement home. Try to picture the girl who played her as an older lady.**

**Okay, that's taken care of. Let's get this chapter started.**

**Real quick: If there are any NCIS fans in the audience, watch out for the nod and let me know you saw it.**

* * *

_Chicago 1936_

"_Is there any particular reason, Father that you insist on taking me to London?" Ted asked as his father read the morning paper._

"_This is very important business, Theodore," his father's Irish lilt rang out from behind the paper, "I expect you to behave yourself."_

"_That did not answer my question."_

_His father put the paper down with a sigh "Now that you are sixteen, it's time to learn the family business. Now, pack your things."_

…

_London_

_Bombing an English bank? Apparently, the family business was terrorism. Ted was not happy about that. His father was an Irish terrorist. What the hell? Well, Ted was not about to be dragged into a life of crime. He told his father so…loudly and in an argument that almost turned violent…and he ran from the hotel._

_He hadn't thought ahead though. He was now alone in a strange city with only the clothes on his back. And the only way to get back to Chicago was with his father. He thought about warning the police about the bombing but he didn't want his father to get arrested. But he wasn't about to go back to the hotel. Not on his own anyway. If his father wanted him back, well, he'd just have to find him himself._

_He'd been lost for over an hour when he saw her, the most beautiful girl on God's green earth. She was struggling with what looked like groceries, so he decided to be a gentleman and help her._

_He grabbed a bag that was about to fall, "Here let me help."_

"_Oh thanks," their eyes met and Ted was in love._

"_I'm Theodore Jackson," he told her._

"_Nancy Harper."_

…

* * *

Present day

Ted chopped the apples for the fruit salad, "He's actually afraid of bananas?"

"Whole ones," Nancy was chopping pears.

"Why?"

"I'm not sure exactly. I just know why he's afraid of gas masks."

"Yes, you told me. Are you sure you want to tell him today?"

"We've been putting it off long enough."

Ted arched an eyebrow "_We've_? I've wanted to tell him since the day you told me."

Nancy sighed "All right, _I've_ been putting it off long enough. I should have told him ages ago."

"Well, we might as well tell them all at once. I hate repeating myself."

…

* * *

Ianto, Jack, and Owen left the Hub early that day to get to the barbecue at the Major's house. They picked up Cory and Rini and Nick and then made their way to the party. The Doctor, Nina and Owen's dad were already there, he answered the door.

"Hey Dad" Owen greeted him.

"Owen, you're the first of your brothers to arrive" Dr Harper said with a smile.

"Yeah well, I'm travelling with him" he jerked a thumb at Ianto "he believes fifteen minutes early is late."

"That's not…" Ianto began "actually, that might be accurate" he conceded.

Owen rolled his eyes "Anyway, Dad this is Jack, Ianto and their kids, Cory and Rini. And this is Nick, Jack's son. It's complicated."

"That's for sure" Nick muttered.

In unison Ianto and Cory held out their hands "It's a pleasure to meet you Dr Harper, sir."

Dr Harper grinned and shook their hands "Likewise, I've heard about your politeness."

They went inside after Dr Harper greeted Jack, Rini, and Nick. The Doctor was in the living room chatting with Jack's dad.

"Hey Dad" Jack said "you wanna meet your grandchildren?"

Frank stood up from the sofa and came over to them "Absolutely."

Jack put a hand on Nick's shoulder "Dad this is Nick, he just finished a tour in Iraq with the US Army. Nick, your grandfather Franklin Sr."

Frank shook Nick's hand "The Army huh? Thank you for your service."

Nick blushed "Just doing my job sir. It's nice to meet you."

"And I'm Rini" Rini hugged Frank "it's nice to meet you Grandpa. Can I call you Grandpa?"

Frank scooped her up "You most certainly can. I think my heart just melted."

Jack chuckled "Yeah, she does that. And this is Cory, I think you can tell who is natural father is."

"I'm telling ya, the resemblance is uncanny" the Major came into the living room with a tray of biscuits "Cory looks just like Ianto and Ianto looks just like his grandfather Ifan."

"Scary isn't it" Jack said.

Ianto thwacked the back of his head "You wanna sleep in the living room again?"

Jack shook his head "No sir."

"Whipped" Owen coughed.

Jack grinned, "and proud of it."

The Major laughed "Jackie boy, go on and hang up that dang coat of yours and we'll all go outside. I told everyone to just come on through the back gate."

Jack grumbled as Ianto helped him off with his coat "You're just jealous cos the air corps didn't have as cool of uniforms."

"Horse feathers. Frank, I just got confirmation, by email of all things, that Shannon's the only one bringing her husband which is fine by me because he's the only one I like even though he was a Marine."

"Who's Shannon?" Jack asked.

"Your aunt" Frank told him "middle of the three. Her husband LJ was a gunnery sergeant in the Marines, now he's in NCIS."

…

* * *

The next to arrive was Frank's brother Tommy and his partner Phil. They were both interestingly enough wearing Levi's, a bit unusual compared to what Tommy was wearing the last time Ianto had seen him.

Frank arched an eyebrow as he greeted his brother "Jeans, Tommy?"

"You don't wear Prada to a barbecue, Frank" Tommy said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Ianto looked down at his suit, it wasn't Prada but he had a feeling he'd be over-dressed compared to some of the other guests who have yet to arrive. Who wears a suit to a barbecue? Oh well. Jack was dressed like it was 1941, so Ianto didn't feel like a complete idiot. He and Jack were just one of those unique couples.

Tommy hugged Jack "It's so great you're my nephew, Jack. This is my partner, Phil, he doesn't talk much." Behind him Phil rolled his eyes.

Ianto held out his hand to Phil "We should get along well then sir."

…

* * *

A little later Frank's sisters, Angela, Shannon, and Karen arrived with assorted children and Shannon's husband, LJ Tibbs.

"Gunny" the Major greeted his son-in-law after he hugged his daughters and grandchildren—most of whom were young adults and teenagers "How's NCIS treating you?"

"Usual Major" LJ shook his hand "Congratulations."

"Why thank you, Gunny, I guess you're never too old."

…

* * *

There was no question about it, Ed Harper loved acting and he was good at it, so good that his first time doing a film he was cast in a pretty important role. He wasn't in very many scenes or have very many lines but he was integral to the development of the main characters played by Robin Chadwick-Cassidy and Drystan Jones. Ed got to beat up one of them. He sat with them after the day's shoot as they were getting de-make-upped.

"Great job today, Ed" Robin said with a smile.

"Thank you Mr Cassidy."

Robin giggled "Oh I'm still getting used to that. Call me Robin."

"Oh sure, Robin."

"People are so polite here. Now, you're English, right?"

"That's right," Ed nodded.

"Explains a lot" Drystan muttered good naturedly "and I'm gonna guess since you didn't need much training in fighting that you grew up with brothers."

"Yes sir, three and I'm the second eldest."

"Six myself and don't call me sir, makes me feel old. I'm only twenty-nine plus almost four."

"Six brothers?" Ed blinked.

"Yeah, Robin's had the quotey quote pleasure of meeting the two youngest. In fact, he's staying with one of them for some bizarre reason."

Robin rolled his eyes "His partner is a friend of Jules and it's way better than a hotel. Hotels have alcohol, Gavin doesn't."

"Only because he's also an alcoholic and Christopher watches him like a hawk."

"Speaking of brothers" Ed checked his watch "I gotta get to this party we're having. My gran's getting married."

"That is so sweet," Robin squeed.

"Day after tomorrow," Ed continued "and we're having a barbecue with her fiancé's family." He stood "I gotta get."

"I'll give you a ride," Drystan stood too "be faster than a studio driver."

…

"Thanks for this" Ed said once they were on the road "I really appreciate it."

"Hey, no problem. Anyway I wanted to talk to you."

"You did?"

"Yeah" Drystan glanced at him "Because I have six brothers and three sisters—one of them my twin—I am a horrible snoop. I saw that biochemistry textbook of yours."

He wanted to talk about biochemistry? Weird. "Yeah, I'm going to school for it. The acting is to help pay for it. My dad hasn't been working in awhile so we all have to work for ourselves."

"I hear that. What are your brothers doing?"

"Well, my older brother Owen is a doctor for some special ops thing, Rick's studying astrophysics in Arizona and Arthur's studying anthropology in Ireland."

Drystan gave a low whistle "Geniuses you are. Your brother is Owen Harper?"

"Yeah, you know him?"

"Of him, little brother Ianto works with him."

"No kidding?"

"No kidding. You should ask Owen about Torchwood. Anyway, I saw that paper where you had notes about how to tell your family you're thinking of dropping out of school."

Ed cringed "Why were you snooping through my things?"

"It's what I do. I think you should continue with your studies. It's more impressive to the fans and you'd be credible if you ever played a biochemist. But its your call, just think very carefully about it, yeah?"

…

* * *

Rick glanced at his watch "Come on Kendra," he called towards the bathroom "we don't wanna be late. It's a barbecue, you don't have to dress nice, you know. Aren't you from Texas?"

"Yeah" Kendra stepped out of the bathroom "I just wanna make a good impression on your daddy and grandma."

Rick stared at his girlfriend opened mouthed. She had put in her contacts, done up her hair, was wearing cut off shorts and a halter top with a plaid short-sleeve over shirt. He swallowed "Is that what you normally wear to a barbecue back in Texas?"

"Yeah. Am I showing too much skin? Will they think I'm a whore or something? I know things are proper here."

He shook his head "We've relaxed over the centuries. Just don't wear that to the wedding. Come on, we gotta get going." Besides, he thought as they left the hotel, I really want to make my brothers jealous. I can't wait to see the looks on their faces.

…

* * *

Arthur stopped at a red light "Which way Mervyn?"

Mervyn checked the directions "Left. We could have taken a cab, you know?" his Irish lilt sounded annoyed.

"What for?" the light turned green and a pretty girl caught Arthur's eye. He turned right "I've got my license, I'm going to use it."

Mervyn sighed "I said left, Arthur. Stop looking at the girl. She's gotta be what, fourteen? Too young."

Arthur grumbled as he turned around "Well she should dress like it then."

"Why did you insist on bringing me to this family reunion of yours?"

"You're my sidekick and I don't go anywhere without my sidekick."

"If you introduce me as your sidekick Arthur Harper I am going to kill you."

"Besides, Morgan and Gwenie are too busy with some stupid project. No way was I gonna go to this thing alone."

"So I was your third choice? Is that what you're saying?"

Arthur rolled his eyes "Oh don't take it so personally Mervyn. You get so squeaky."

"Why am I friends with you? And why am I constantly getting you out of trouble?"

Arthur grinned "It's your destiny."

"Load of crap" Mervyn muttered.

"We're roommates, Mervyn, we're supposed to be friends."

"There is no law that says that."

"If I were king there would be. Wouldn't that be something? I have always liked the sound of King Arthur."

Mervyn rolled his eyes and then muttered something in Gaelic.

Arthur made a sharp turn.

Mervyn swore "Where'd you learn to drive? The Indy 500?"

…

* * *

Owen sipped on a Dr Pepper by the snack table, he'd already chatted with the people he knew, all the other guests were Jack's relatives and Owen's idiot brothers weren't here yet.

Ianto handed a coffee to Jack's uncle LJ "Here you go sir."

LJ nodded, took a sip and his eyes widened in surprise. He flashed a brief smile "Thanks and you don't have to call me sir." A mobile rang, LJ reached into his pocket and pulled one out, he answered "What do you want, McGregor?" he walked away.

Owen stepped up to Ianto "Man of few words him, I think that's the most he's said since he's been here."

Ianto shrugged "Major Jackson said that Marines don't talk much unless they have to." Suddenly Ianto said "What's he doing here?"

"Who?" Owen followed Ianto's gaze. Two men just walked into the garden, one of them was Owen's brother Ed and the other…

"My brother Drystan," Ianto said "Isn't that your brother with him?"

"Yeah, weird. Wonder how they know each other."

Ed saw Dad first "Hey Dad, it's good to see you. How are you?"

Dad hugged him "Much better now that I'm free. Who's your friend?"

"Oh this is Drystan Jones, he gave me a ride. Drystan, this is my dad, Dr James Harper."

Drystan shook Dad's hand "Nice to meet you Dr Harper."

"And you."

Ianto approached his brother "Hey Drys."

Drystan smiled "Ianto, I had a feeling you'd be here."

"Hey Ed" Owen said, getting his brother's attention.

"Owen!" Ed hugged him "Have I missed much?"

"Nah" they parted "we've got to wear nametags" Owen indicated his own that read 'Dr Owen James Harper, eldest son of Jamie.'

"Wow, middle names and everything. Can we put 'Prince of Prats' on Arthur's?"

Owen laughed "Well…"

"No you may not" Dad handed Ed his nametag "You boys better behave yourselves. How are your studies Ed?"

"Great" Ed said "I've got a job to make extra money."

"Eddie sweetheart" Gran came up and hugged him and then looked him over "look at you, you finally cut your hair."

Ed blushed "Yeah, had to for my job. And congratulations Gran, I'm really happy for you."

"Thank you, sweetie."

"What is your job?" Dad asked.

"Yeah, and ain't Drystan Jones an actor" said Owen "and that's a rhetorical question by the way. I know he is, Ianto won't shut up about it 'My brother's in a film with Robin Chadwick. My brother's going to be a film star.'" Owen imitated Ianto fairly well in his opinion. Luckily, Ianto and Drystan had moved off and hopefully didn't hear him.

Ed nodded "Yeah, I've got a role in the same movie and that was a horrible Welsh accent Owen."

Owen felt like his eyebrows were all the way in his hair "Since when are you an actor?"

"Well I was doing theatre in school and the casting director was in the audience one day."

Something caught Owen's eye at the gate. An attractive girl walked in the garden. She was on the arm of—god help him—an equally attractive young man. There was something very familiar about him. "Who invited Daisy Duke?" Owen indicated the girl.

"Ah" said Dad moving towards them "that must be Kendra, Rick's girlfriend."

"How do you know?" Owen and Ed asked.

Dad looked over his shoulder "Cos that's him with her."

Owen and Ed looked at the man then at each other "That's Rick? No way."

The last time either of them had seen Richard was when he left for Arizona three years before; back then he looked like a geek, skinny, pale and glasses. Now, he looked like he could be modelling.

Owen and Ed stood there just staring as Rick introduced his hot girlfriend to Dad and Gran and then they approached them.

Rick grinned at them "Owen, Ed, you two okay?"

Ed was the first to recover "Rick, wow, good to see you" he hugged him "that Arizona sun has done wonders for you."

Rick laughed "Cleared up my sinuses too. How ya doing Owen?"

Owen shook his head to clear it "Yeah good. So are you apparently." They hugged.

"And this" Rick indicated the girl "is Kendra, my girlfriend, Kendra my older brothers Owen and Edward."

Kendra held out her hand "It's a pleasure to meet you both. Ricky's told me so much about you."

…

* * *

Ianto had stepped inside to use the bathroom and as he was washing his hands the doorbell rang. He left the bathroom, no one else was inside; he may as well answer it. If it was a guest then they clearly didn't get the memo about going through the back gate. Of course Ianto and his group didn't go through the back either but then they were early.

Ianto opened the door, two young men stood there, the blond one he recognised from pictures as Owen's youngest brother. "Hello" Ianto said to them.

"Arthur Harper" Arthur stepped across the threshold "we're a bit late. This is my roommate Mervyn" he took off his jacket. "I'm impressed" he looked Ianto over "I didn't think this man my grandmother was marrying would have a butler."

Ianto blinked. What did he just call him? "I'm not a butler."

"Valet then. Be a good man and hang this up" he handed Ianto his jacket "and for your trouble" he also handed Ianto a folded up pound note of some kind. "I take it the party is out back. This way, I'm guessing." He started to leave the front room.

Mervyn scrambled after him with a look of apology at Ianto "Arthur, he's wearing a nametag."

"Well if I were in my eighties I'd forget my servants' names too."

Ianto used all his will power not to slam the front door shut. He decided he didn't much like Owen's youngest brother.

…

* * *

Owen, Ed, and Rick were just discussing how to avoid being nice to their youngest brother when he walked into the garden from the houses back door, another young man trailing after him.

"Speak of the devil" Ed muttered "late as always."

"Arthur will you listen to me, I don't think he was the butler or the valet or whatever…" the boy was saying.

Arthur stopped and looked at his companion "What are you saying Mervyn? Ah," he spotted Gran and went over to her "Gran, so sorry I'm late."

"Not at all, Arthur" she hugged him "you haven't missed anything. This is Ted." She introduced the Major.

Meanwhile Mervyn looked like he wanted to shoot himself or Arthur, probably the latter.

"And Dad," Arthur noticed Dad "you're looking well. So nice to see you out of the home."

Dad visibly bit back a sigh "Thank you, Arthur. Are you going to introduce us to your friend?"

"What friend? Oh, right. This is Mervyn O'Shea, we're roommates at Uni. He's Irish, you don't have to hold that against him."

Mervyn rolled his eyes and politely greeted Dad, Gran and the Major "It's a pleasure to meet all of you."

"Hello Arthur" Owen said loudly.

Arthur turned in his direction "Oh there you are. Owen, and Ed and who are you?" he asked Rick.

"Rick, I'm Rick."

Arthur's eyes widened "You're Rick? Really?" he looked at Owen and Ed for confirmation.

Ed nodded "True story."

Suddenly Ianto came over to them and forced a jacket into Arthur's hands.

"Is there a problem?" Arthur asked.

Ianto took a breath "I am not a servant."

Owen slapped the back of Arthur's head "You thought he was a servant? What does his nametag say?"

Arthur read it "Ianto Jones, partner of Jack. Who's Jack?"

Ianto glared in Jack's direction who was sniggering "A dead man if he keeps laughing." Jack stopped abruptly. Ianto looked back at Arthur and held up a ten pound note "I'll keep the tenner though, thanks." He walked off.

Arthur stared after him "Well if you're not a servant you shouldn't dress like one. Wait, I gave you a tenner? This is all your fault Mervyn. Why didn't you say anything?"

Mervyn sighed and looked at Owen "You wouldn't happen to have any beer here would ya?"

"Sorry no, there's alcoholics here. Strongest stuff we've got is Dr Pepper or coffee if you make nice with Ianto."

Mervyn nodded "That'll do" he made his way to the snack table where Ianto was in charge of the coffee.

…

* * *

Drystan had been invited to stay and he did once he saw Nina. Jack wasn't sure how to feel about that, his sister and Ianto's brother? Sure there wasn't a law against it but still it was kind of weird despite the fact that even weirder was accepted where he came from.

"Do you see them?" Jack said to Ianto.

"Drys and Nina? Yeah, they seem to be hitting it off don't they?"

"How do you feel about that?"

Ianto shrugged "How do you feel about that?"

"I asked you first."

Ianto sighed "Well they look good together and they might have enough in common to make it work but I guess we'll just see what happens."

"That didn't answer my question. Don't you think it'd be weird?"

"This coming from a man who comes from a place where marrying a sheep is actually legal and not made fun of?"

Jack's dad heard that and he laughed "Actually, Ianto, as I recall it was still made fun of. We had this one neighbour who kept an entire barnyard. Polygamy is also legal there. You remember that guy, Jack?"

Jack blinked "You're calling me Jack now?"

Dad shrugged "Everyone else is."

"Yeah, Mr Simon was killed by his bull not long after I joined the agency."

Dad sighed "I'm not surprised."

…

* * *

As the party started to wind down Ted and Nancy called their children into the kitchen to have that talk with them. Ted still found it hard to believe that his kids were parents themselves (and two of them grandparents themselves). Time sure does fly.

"What's this about Dad?" Frank asked, he typically spoke for his siblings, before he disappeared and after he returned. He was not going to be happy to find out he was not the oldest.

Ted took a breath "Well to start there is something I never told you kids and now that we're all going to be a family I want to get it out in the open."

"Is that why I'm here?" Jamie asked "Because I don't need to know any Jackson family secrets…though I am intrigued."

"Yes you need to know this" Nancy told him.

"Well then Dad, what is it?" asked Karen, Ted's youngest daughter.

Ted opened his mouth but a slight sound at the kitchen door stalled him. Someone was eavesdropping. He moved to the door and opened. Jack and Owen tumbled onto the kitchen floor. They scrambled to their feet quickly and for their part did look a little sheepish.

Ted crossed his arms "Do you boys need something in here?"

Jamie sighed, "Owen James, what have I told you about listening at doors?"

Owen was silent for a moment before answering "That you do it all the time."

"The other bit."

"That you should always move away when you hear footsteps. Well, I couldn't, Jack was behind me and he wouldn't move."

Jack glared at him "Oh yeah, blame me. You could have said you heard something." Jack turned his attention to Ted and Nancy "Anyway, as the oldest grandsons of each of you, we felt we should know what's going on."

"It's so cute" Tommy said "you two are already acting like cousins and you're just gonna be step-cousins."

This was not how he wanted to reveal this but it was an opening. Ted sighed heavily "Actually, they already are cousins, actual cousins."

After a prolonged moment of silence, everyone except the two 80 somethings exclaimed "What?"

Jamie approached Nancy "Mum, does that mean…?"

Nancy nodded "Yes Jamie, Ted is your father."

"What?" Frank said again. "Dad…how?"

Ted took another breath "Let us start at the beginning. As some of you know, my father Liam Jackson came to America from Ireland. I found out when I was sixteen that he was an Irish terrorist. He took me to London to try and introduce me to the family business…"

"Wait," Jack interrupted "your father was Liam Jackson? When did he die?"

"Two years later, why?"

Jack looked around at the people in the room who were not aware he couldn't die and he cleared his throat "No reason, may have read an old article once. Carry on."

Deciding to question Jack about that later on, Ted continued "Anyway, I wasn't interested in bombing a bank so I ran from the hotel and that's when I first met Nancy."

Nancy took a breath and picked up the story "He helped me with my groceries. My father died in the Great War and my mother worked two jobs. She wasn't home so I invited Ted over for tea. Well, one thing led to another…"

"Yeah, we don't need to hear those details Gran" said Owen.

"As I was sneaking out of her house that night" Ted said "my father's minions grabbed me. I was on a ship back to the States the next day. Nancy and I didn't meet again till two years ago."

Nancy took hold of Jamie's hand "I'm sorry I never told you. I suppose I just didn't see the point, I had no idea how to contact Ted and let him know. When I told him when we met again he wanted to tell you but I kept putting it off."

Jamie tore his hands away "This is a lot to think about." He stormed out of the kitchen.

Owen sighed "Like I said, you'd never guess he was seventy. I'll go talk to him," he left the kitchen.

Frank blinked "Wait he's older than me? What?"

…

* * *

Owen found his father in the front room, staring out the window "Not gonna take somebody's car and drive off?"

Dad didn't turn around "I haven't renewed my license yet."

Owen stood next to him "yeah, you should probably take care of that. But you're not practising in my car. You okay, Dad?"

He shrugged "My mother lied to me my whole life, said she didn't know who my natural father was."

"You can't hold that against Ted, he didn't know."

"He could have told me once he did know."

"He was probably waiting for Gran's go ahead. Besides would you have believed him? You were still in the nut house two years ago."

Dad sighed heavily "You're right. I'm so used to being an only child though, now I've got five younger siblings."

"Dad, you're seventy not seven. Deal with it. I'm sure Gran had her reasons for lying, probably so you wouldn't go looking for him. Maybe she didn't want to disrupt his life or she was afraid he wouldn't want you and she didn't want you to be crushed. You know how she thinks. Now go back in that kitchen and stop being a brat."

Dad stared at him "I always thought the snarky cynic was just a cover. You really are a wise and caring young man, Owen."

"Shhh! I have a reputation to protect."

…

* * *

As the "grown-ups" were talking, Jack and Owen filled in everyone else.

Drystan gave a low whistle and whispered something in Welsh to Ianto who smiled. Jack just barely heard it, Drystan said "and I thought our family was a soap opera."

…

Two days later…

It was a lovely wedding, despite the recent soap operaness. The reception was the highlight though. Brigadier Alistair Lethbridge-Stuart, the best man gave a surprisingly entertaining speech. He shared an anecdote about a hilarious adventure he, the Major and Ianto's grandfathers had in 1975.

When the story was finished the Major tossed a napkin at the Brigadier "Al, Ifan and Taliesin would have killed you for telling that story."

The Brigadier smirked "Would they? Yes, I reckon so."

Ianto turned to Drystan who came to the wedding as Nina's date "Do you remember much of tad-cu Ifan?"

Drystan took a sip of sparkling apple juice "Well considering I was nine when he died, not as much as the older brothers do but some why?"

"Jack says he was intense but after I was born he mellowed out."

Drystan nodded "That sounds about right. I remember once before he got sick, all us kids were over at Gran Kylia's and supper was about ready when Tad-cu Ifan came home. He was a right mess, covered in mud I remember 'cos I asked him if we had alligators in Wales and if he'd been wrestling one. I remember he laughed, it was like the first time I ever heard him laugh, and he said 'Close enough' and then Gran told him to go outside and wash with the garden hose before he set a foot further in her house."

Jack had been walking by on his way back from the rest room "I remember that case, it was close enough to an alligator and if you thought he was a mess, you should have seen me. Ianto, you would have cried at the state of my coat."

Ianto gulped "I may have nightmares now" then Ianto remembered something that he'd been meaning to bring up with Jack "Jack, our gran never believed that the ashes she received were her husband's."

Drystan nodded "Yep. It was in her will that her ashes never be joined with his unless they were verified to be him. We haven't done that so both urns are kept in what they call it at the cemetery and Gran wanted their ashes spread where they first met in Llandudno."

Ianto took a breath "Jack, I have checked records and I know that those ashes were not those of Ifan Davies."

Jack sighed "You know the policy Ianto."

"I know but that was then."

"Have you looked at his body?"

Drystan's eyes went wide "Whoa are you saying that you've had his body all this time? Cadfael is going to kill you."

Ianto shook his head "I have not seen it. Jack, we'd like it back so we can have a proper funeral for him and Gran Kylia."

After a moment Jack nodded "All right, since you all know what he did for a living anyway. It shouldn't be a problem."

"Thank you, Jack."

…

* * *

That night as Jack and Ianto lay in bed they discussed plans for their date the next evening.

Jack held Ianto's hand, interlacing their fingers "I'm thinking a movie and then dinner, that way we can talk about it while we eat."

Ianto nuzzled him "If we actually watch the movie that is."

"Fair point but I have already made reservations at Armless Dragon."

Ianto sat up "Seriously? I've wanted to eat there since it opened."

Jack sat up and kissed him "I know."

"Jack?"

"Hmm?"

"Do rainbows typically appear at night?"

"No, why?"

"There's one outside the window."

Jack turned and sure enough there was in fact a rainbow outside their bedroom window. They both got up to look. The rainbow ended right in their front garden and out from it stepped a woman with rainbow coloured hair and she was wearing an Ancient Greek gown.

"Jack," Ianto said "I think that's Iris, messenger of Hera."

TBC…

* * *

**Don't worry we'll find out what's up in the next chapter. With help from the muses it should be up sooner rather than later. Again I am so sorry for the long delay with this one.**

**Anyway, what did you think? Reviews fuel the muses. They really do. If there is any part of this chapter that was confusing, please let me know and I will try to clear it up as best as I can.**

**The next chapter will feature what Hera's messenger is doing there, skateboarding, a road trip and possibly a trial but that might not be till the chapter after, we'll see what happens. **

**TTFN**


	47. Revealing Truths

**Hey gang, surprised that I have the next chapter up so soon? I was in a zone and I'm well on my way to finishing the next one…well, I've started it anyway.**

**Okay, I said there was going to be a road trip in this chapter, well the muses had other ideas, so the road trip will be in the next one.**

**Math Correction on last chapter: Drystan was nine not eleven when Tad-cu Ifan died, I'd done the math backwards, I've since corrected it.**

**Nain is a variation of grandmother or granny in Welsh, according to BBC's learn Welsh website.**

**Disclaimer: No offence intended by anything that is said. Oh and Armless Dragon is a real restaurant but I don't know how they greet guests so I just went with what is fairly common.**

**This is part of the Fathers, Sons and other Strangers series.**

**Chapter title: Revealing Truths**

**Enjoy!**

**BTW, I apologise to Ianto, I don't know why I did it, perhaps to add a hint of frustration. No, he doesn't relapse nor does somebody hit him. **

…

* * *

So he broke a few rules, did they really have to keep him in a tiny cell in Tartarus while awaiting trial? If Hermes couldn't pace, the space was too damn small and he started to feel claustrophobic. It didn't help that they were keeping him chained with chains forged by Hephaestus, the strength of which was typically reserved for titans. It was like they didn't trust him not to attempt escape or something.

Something blocked the hole in the door they called a window and then the door opened. Oghma stood there with a plate of food, "What I don't get," he said "is why you told Ianto gods didn't need to eat."

Hermes shrugged "Not eating won't kill us."

"No, but food helps keep up our strength especially since we're technically not gods per se," he stepped inside the cell "not compared to the Mother and Father."

"What are you doing here Oghma?"

"Other than bringing you supper? I'll be acting as your attorney."

"I can't be my own defence?"

"Afraid not, mate, gotta love progress. As we speak, Iris is bringing subpoenas to those mortal and alien friends of yours. Whether they're to be witnesses for or against I guess depends on what they say."

…

* * *

In the morning all those who received summons from Iris met in Jack's office; Jack, Ianto, Nina, Jeanie, the Doctor, Nick and DJ were all called to Stonehenge two days hence to speak about Hermes's actions before the Council of the Elder Gods.

"Why Stonehenge?" Nick sipped on a coffee, as all the humans did, the Time Lords and Lady preferred tea for some reason.

"Maybe it's where the gods have trials," Ianto suggested "Iris didn't say."

"But why do they want to talk to us?" DJ leaned against the wall.

The Doctor was poking around the office "Hermes has touched all our lives in some way."

"Interfered," Jack and Nick muttered.

Ianto shot Jack a glare "He was only trying to help."

Jack sighed "I know, I'm sorry; we owe him a lot. If he hadn't sent the Tardis to the Trojan War we wouldn't have found Nina and Jeanie."

"He told me that in the TV show some psychotic Time Lord called the Master took over the world for a year." Ianto said.

Jeanie gasped, the Doctor went very pale and DJ said "Remind me to buy Hermes a present."

The Doctor's mouth moved for a few moments with no sound coming out "But the Master has gone through all his regenerations, how? What? Did Hermes tell you anything else about this particular plot line?" he asked Ianto.

"Apparently Jack had been clinging to the outside of the Tardis and it brought you all to the end of the universe where you met the Master who was hiding in human form. He then stole the Tardis, you had to fix Jack's wrist strap to get back to London and then there was something about reversing time. Hermes really just gave me less than the Cliff Notes."

The Doctor sank onto the couch muttering something Jack couldn't decipher. Jack shook his head and went over to Ianto "Hey, can you do me a favour?"

Ianto nodded "You want me to check the bus and make sure it's in good working order."

Jack smiled "Exactly, I think we should all travel together and I want to leave the SUV here."

Ianto nodded again and started to leave the office.

Nick stopped him "You still wanna go skateboarding, Ianto? I invited Owen."

"Yeah, of course" then Ianto raised an eyebrow "Owen skateboards?"

"Apparently."

"You know," DJ began "we had a sport on Gallifrey that was…"

"No" the Doctor interrupted "just no."

"But Dad…"

"No, if I ever catch you at that again I will box your ears."

Jack looked between Ianto and Nick, he didn't like the idea of skateboarding but he knew if he told them not to they wouldn't listen "Just be careful. Ianto and I have reservations at eight and I don't want to cancel."

Ianto kissed his cheek "No worries, cariad."

…

* * *

At lunch time Owen met Nick and DJ outside the tourist shop door. "Where's Ianto?" Nick asked him.

"Changing his clothes, even he will not skateboard in a suit."

"I hope you don't mind I invited DJ, there was apparently a sport on Gallifrey very similar to skateboarding."

"Hey, no problem" Owen greeted the Time Lord who had forgone the Oxford prat look he'd been wearing earlier and was now dressed like Owen and Nick, a normal twenty-something human male. "Four is better than three."

"Yeah" said Nick "we can be like the turtles."

"Turtles?" DJ asked "why would we…?"

Nick sighed "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the earlier cartoon and the nineties movies, not the more recent stuff. Look it up."

"All right" DJ pulled out his mobile.

Then Ianto walked out of the tourist office and Owen's jaw dropped.

"Sorry it took so long," Ianto said "I think I nearly gave Jack a coronary when he saw me."

And it was no wonder, Ianto's outfit made him look ten years younger. He wore a baggy hoodie pullover, baggy trousers and a backwards ball cap.

Owen swallowed "Ianto Jones, I never thought I'd see the day. Your trousers aren't at your waist."

Ianto smiled "If I'm gonna skate I'm gonna dress the part."

"Oh!" DJ exclaimed "I understand now, there are four of these ninja turtles and they like to skateboard and other teenage boy things."

"Well," Nick pulled a Boston Red Sox ball cap out of his back pocket and put it on backwards "let's get outta here."

Ianto stared at the ball cap "Your granddad's from Chicago."

"I know."

"And your dad prefers Chicago teams."

Nick sighed heavily "I know that but they both prefer hockey to baseball as do I and as it happens I am fond of the Chicago Blackhawks just don't tell anyone else in Boston or they'll toss _me _into the harbour."

…

When they arrived at the skate park they found the place full of kids showing off.

"Well I feel old," Owen muttered.

Ianto took a breath "We'll just act like we're ten years younger and we'll be fine."

…

* * *

The banging coming from Jeanie's Tardis was almost too loud for Jack to hear the cog alarm. The boys were back from their skating expedition. He barely stopped himself from rushing out to greet them. He didn't want them to think he was overly worried about the safety of his son and partner. Jack didn't really like the idea of skateboarding and the fact that Owen was with them didn't console him much. Owen may have been a doctor but he was basically still a kid himself.

Jack was going to be patient and wait for someone to come in his office to see him until he heard Gwen say "Oh my goodness Ianto, what happened?"

He ran out of his office to see Ianto being led to the medical bay supported by Owen and Nick. "What the hell happened?" he went over to them and took Nick's place at Ianto's right. Ianto was pale and clearly trying not to cry in pain.

"Bit of a tumble" Owen said "tailbone might be broken by the way he landed. And there's what happened before he landed." They helped him down the stairs.

"What happened?"

Ianto forced himself to stand on his own "Stupid bloody railing!"

Jack got the message and winced "Oh Tiger baby, come here" he gently wrapped his arms around him, careful of everything below the belt—which he wasn't wearing properly, could be why he "tumbled".

Ianto buried his face in the crook of Jack's neck and started mumbling in Welsh about stupid teenagers and if he ever caught Cory with a skateboard—at any age—he'd ground him till he was thirty. Jack knew better than to laugh.

Owen put on his lab coat and gloves "All right Ianto, let's have a look."

Ianto pulled slightly away from Jack and pointed at the exam/autopsy table "I am not sitting on that thing!"

"It's my fault" Nick said apologetically from the top of the stairs "skateboarding was my idea in the first place. I'm sorry Ianto."

Ianto shook his head "I was the one who chose to ride down the rail."

Owen turned on the scanner "No need to sit but I need you to drop your trousers to have a look at the frontal damage. But first," he put the scanner over Ianto's lower back and the image came up on screen. His tailbone was indeed broken "Not a very severe break but still painful."

"Tell me something I don't know!" Ianto snapped.

"I'll get you something for the pain in a minute" Owen set the scanner down "let's have a look at the jewels."

Jack looked up to order everyone to stop watching but found he didn't need to, they had all moved away from the pit. "Okay Ianto no one else is watching. Do you want me to turn away?"

"No, I want you here" Ianto dropped his trousers and pants. Jack cringed, the little archivist was all black and blue.

Owen put on a new pair of gloves "May I?" at Ianto's nod, he wrapped his hand around Ianto's penis "all right not as bad as it looks, just bruised really, you got lucky, it could have fractured the way you fell on that rail." He stepped back "Jack, fetch some ice and I'll get something for the pain."

"Ice pack coming up" Jack jogged up to the kitchen and got an ice pack from the freezer. Poor Ianto, with a broken tailbone and bruised member they wouldn't be having sex for awhile, poor Jack too. Oh well, Jack was content with cuddling.

When Jack returned to the medical bay, Ianto had pulled up his trousers and Owen was injecting something into his lower back "A shot to numb the pain for now so you can tend to your other injury properly and I'll prescribe you some pills."

"Thanks Owen. Jack, can I sit on the couch in your office?"

Jack put an arm around him "you don't have to ask. I'll even take you home if you want."

"No, not yet."

Jack helped him up to the couch and positioned the ice pack. "How you feeling?"

Ianto sighed "Whatever Owen shot into me works fast. I still wanna go out tonight, if you were wondering. I'm not letting my own stupidity keep me from a date I've wanted to go on for seven months."

Jack sat next to him "If you're sure, I know tailbone injuries make it hard to sit down."

"Owen's gonna give me some pills, I should be fine sitting through dinner. I don't know about a movie though, we may have to skip that."

"Fine with me."

"What were you wanting to see?"

Jack shrugged "I hadn't decided but I was leaning towards Pirates, I wanna see if Jack pulled a Hercules and sliced his way out of the Kraken."

Ianto leaned back "Let's take the kids to see that, maybe in a couple of weeks."

"Okay, I'm easy."

"I know" Ianto managed a smirk. "Do you think we should tell Owen, Tosh, and Gwen where we're going day after tomorrow?"

"I don't know. We have to be at Stonehenge at midnight, as it's only a two hour drive we can leave after regular work hours and get there in time. We may not have to tell them anything."

"And what if something happens and they try calling while we're in court?"

"Good point. We'll talk to them today."

…

* * *

It was easier than either one of them had thought. Tosh stated that she'd always believed in the gods and Owen muttered "I'll believe anything these days."

"Really?" Gwen looked at everyone else for confirmation.

"I wouldn't call them gods exactly" said the Doctor "godlike certainly and definitely earthlings."

"And they do not like being questioned" Ianto added to Gwen especially "they're really big on faith."

"And the seven of you are going to a trail?" Tosh looked at the seven who had been subpoenaed by Iris.

"Hermes has apparently done something wrong" Jack nodded "I'm thinking all that meddling, Ares told me it was going to get him into trouble one day. We've all met him so I guess we all have to testify."

"For or against?" asked Owen.

Jack shrugged "Iris didn't say, I guess we'll find out when we get there."

"Well I will be witness for the defence" asserted Ianto "no matter what. He is my friend even though he can be an annoying little pain in the arse."

Jack wisely kept his mouth shut.

…

* * *

Later that evening…

Owen had given Ianto something simple but fairly effective so he could make it through dinner and he would give him something much stronger for the drive to Stonehenge. Ianto was glad of it especially as the simple pills had morphine in them but not enough to make him completely out of it. He'd still be able to enjoy and remember his very first date with Jack.

Jack knocked on the bathroom door "You almost done in there Tiger? I know you like to be early, it's 19:15, reservations are at 20 hundred."

"I know" Ianto had put on his suit slowly just to be careful. He opened the door "Help me with my tie, Stallion."

Jack came over to him with a grin "Look at you, gorgeous as always" he did up Ianto's tie.

"You're not half bad either" Ianto smiled slyly "Who's your tailor?"

Jack kissed his cheek "You know, I think you may have heard of him, he does great work, name of Ianto Jones."

"Hmm, I must get his card but I think he's going to have to make you another suit sometime."

Jack was wearing the suit Ianto had made for him while he was away "Maybe, I could always wear the one I wore to the wedding."

"No, not enough time has passed, you can't wear it in public again yet. Besides there's not enough time, let's go."

Jack kissed him again "As you wish."

When they got down to the living room they found Nick and DJ playing X-Men Monopoly with Cory and Rini, they were babysitting tonight. As to which pair was doing the babysitting Ianto hadn't decided. Nina was out with Drystan and Jeanie was hanging out with the Doctor.

"You two have fun" DJ said as he moved his little pewter Professor a few places.

"Yeah" added Nick "we'll look after Cyclops and Storm here."

Ianto looked at the game, Cory was winning so far "It concerns me Nick that you're playing as Magneato."

"Well I don't like Cable and besides, DJ's the Professor so I had to be Magneato because, oh I'm not giving you my reasoning."

"What I don't like about this game is that Gambit isn't one of the pieces, he's my favourite you know. God, I have a thing for thieves don't I? Gambit, Hermes, honestly" Ianto shook his head.

"Well at least Gambit's on the board" Nick pointed "and he's right next to Rogue."

"As it should be, they belong together. Well, Jack, let's" he turned but Jack was nowhere to be seen "where'd he go?"

"Outside" Cory said without looking up.

Ianto sighed and made for the door just as the doorbell rang. Ianto answered it and Jack stood there with flowers and a box of chocolates. Ianto smiled "How romantic; you're right on time. Please come in."

"Don't mind if I do" Jack stepped back inside.

…

* * *

Jack helped Ianto out of the car when they got to the restaurant "You doing okay, Tiger?"

"So far" Ianto kissed him "Thanks for this."

Jack smiled "Don't think me yet, the night's only just begun. Come on, let's get inside."

"Welcome to Armless Dragon" the hostess greeted them once inside "Do you have a reservation?"

"Yes we do" Jack told her "table for two, name of Jackson."

Ianto looked at Jack with a raised eyebrow but said nothing.

The hostess checked the ledger "Oh yes, right this way sirs."

Once they were seated the hostess said "Your server will be out in a moment, can we start you with something to drink?"

Jack saw Ianto eyeing the wine menu, probably without realising it. Jack picked it up and handed it to the girl "Just water for now and we won't be needing this."

When she was gone Jack started looking at the food menu "Let's see what looks good. Fancy Welsh food, what do you think Ianto?"

Ianto looked at his menu "I think it sounds like an oxy moron but interesting all the same. Why did you use Jackson?"

Jack shrugged "Sometimes I like to use my real name, 'sides I've been kind of proud of it lately."

Ianto gave him a smile "That's good and by the way, I don't even like wine."

"Then why were you eyeing the wine menu?"

Ianto blinked "I was?"

"Yep."

"Good thing you got rid of it then."

…

* * *

They ordered coffee with their meals and while they waited for the starter they were sharing they talked.

"You still feeling okay, Ianto?" Jack touched Ianto's foot with his under the table.

He nodded "Medicine's still working, I should be fine. Jack, if you think I'm getting addicted to it, you'll take it away, right?"

"Faster than the speed of sound. Owen's going to try finding something that works as well but has no risk of habit forming."

"Good. So I'm under the impression that you don't much care for skateboarding."

Jack shrugged "Call me old fashioned but I think it's a stupid and dangerous sport."

"Didn't they have any wild games where you grew up?"

"If you don't include the weekly dodging of laser blasts, the most dangerous thing we had was surfing and extreme sand castles."

Ianto started at him "Seriously? Do you know how to surf?"

Jack nodded "I was quite good too but I never had time when moved I here" he emphasized 'here' indicating he meant Earth "and then I developed this fear and hatred of sharks. I was better at sandcastles though."

"We should go to the beach sometime and you can show off." Ianto sighed "Anyway, I agree skateboarding is dangerous but I think that's why I got into it."

"Because it's dangerous?"

"Well yeah, the thrill of facing possible death. I survived leukaemia, Jack. I guess I figured if I was able to face that and win, I could face anything."

"Ianto, you once told me that you panic every time you bruise."

Ianto looked down and bit his lip. He took a breath and lifted his head "Yeah, I lied."

"You what? You little punk" Jack tossed a napkin ring at him but there was no force behind it.

"It was my tad who panicked and now Gavin does. As you know Gav was the match for the bone marrow transplant. I think he must have been about twelve and he takes great pride in it. So every time I get into some trouble he gives me this speech that always starts with 'I didn't save your life just so you could…' It often leads to an argument. You should have heard him when Nain Kylia was sick."

"What happened? You know, I visited Kylia in the hospital."

"You did?" Ianto's brows furrowed "She knew you?"

"Yeah, she knew about Torchwood. You didn't know that?" this might not be good.

"No I didn't. Nobody told me, nobody ever told me. They all knew and they…"

"Whoa, calm down. I don't think they all knew, Gwill didn't, not till he met me and he figured it out."

Ianto took a breath "But I don't get it" he rubbed his temples "oh forget it; I'll talk to Cadfael later. As I was saying; when I found out Nain Kylia was sick I'd been clean for awhile, just moved to London, got a job in a coffee shop, hadn't seen Hermes in months. Gwill used his police connections to find me and when I heard Nain was in hospital I rushed back to Cardiff. I knew it was stupid but I stopped for a hit of cocaine before going to meet my brothers and sisters."

Jack reached across the table and took Ianto's hand "You were high when you went to see them?"

"I knew it was almost suicide and disrespectful towards Nain but I did it anyway."

"What happened when you got to Cardiff?"

"I avoided Cadfael at all costs and Gavin insisted I stay with him. After the funeral we had this big row, I stole fifty pounds from him and I took off back to London. Eventually his words sank in and I got clean again, still drank though. Then I met Gwyddion and then I met Lisa."

Jack squeezed Ianto's hand. Their starter of mussels arrived then. Once the waitress left Ianto said "I have to say though, Torchwood is one of the best things that's happened to me."

Jack grinned "Well yeah, you wouldn't have met me if you hadn't joined."

Ianto rolled his eyes.

…

* * *

Ianto was going to have a long talk with his eldest brother, a very long talk about why he was never told about Torchwood. But he wouldn't think about that now, now he would just concentrate on his date with Jack.

For dinner Ianto ordered the sirloin and Jack ordered the pheasant. Jack for some bizarre reason wasn't a big fan of red meat.

"When did this dislike of beef start?" Ianto asked.

Jack shrugged "I don't dislike it; I just prefer poultry and fish. I like to eat fish and one day I'd like to try shark fin soup. Bit of revenge you could say."

Ianto smiled "I don't blame you. You know, we should talk more. We've been together seven months and we don't talk a whole lot, not just the two of us."

"I know, we'll talk about the kids, work, our undying love but we don't really talk about the little things do we?"

"That's what I'm saying. I didn't know you preferred poultry."

"And I didn't know you ever tried cocaine."

Ianto cringed "Crap" he cut into his steak "all right, confession time; I've done cocaine, marijuana, which you know, meth once or twice, and I tried ecstasy once. I think that's about it." He put a piece of meat in his mouth. Delicious.

Jack stared at him "How have you not ended up dead in a ditch?"

"Divine intervention, I'm guessing."

"Friends in high places."

"Yep, so I know you like music and clothes from the forties, do you have a favourite movie from that time?"

Jack nodded as he swallowed a bite of food "_Girl Crazy_ with Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney in '43 and just about any musical of the first half of the twentieth century. One of my all time favourites is _Singin' in the Rain_ in '53, Gene Kelly was so hot."

Ianto gave him a smile "Nain liked those old movies, I've seen a few but it's been ages. Maybe you could reintroduce me to them sometime."

…

As they were finishing dinner Jack asked "You feel like dessert?"

"Oh I don't know. That was a big steak and the medicine is wearing off," the pain in Ianto's lower back had started to flare up halfway through the steak and now he really wanted to stop sitting.

Jack took his hand "Do you want you go home?"

Ianto sighed "I don't want to but…"

Jack pulled a plastic bag from his pocket, it contained two capsules "Well I brought these and if you're up to it I did make plans for dessert elsewhere."

Ianto practically snatched the bag from Jack's hand "You're just full of surprises tonight aren't you?"

…

* * *

Jack drove for about fifteen minutes before Ianto asked "What exactly do you have up your sleeve?"

Jack chuckled "You'll see."

Ianto sighed "You're lucky I love you so much."

They were at a stoplight and Jack leaned over and kissed him "Yes, yes I am."

"You know if you didn't already ask me to marry you, I'd wonder if that's what you were going to do."

"Nah, but we will talk about that holiday we want to take."

"Sounds good."

It wasn't long before Jack came to a stop in front of a park "Do you know what this place is?" he asked Ianto.

Ianto looked out the window "Not from this angle at night, no."

"This is where we first met."

"Heath Park?"

"Yep" Jack got out of the car and then helped Ianto out "In fact we met here before the time you're thinking about."

"We did?"

"Yep. It wasn't long after Ifan died. Your mother had taken you, Gwenora and Gavin for a walk here and she called from a payphone telling me she thought she saw something that didn't belong especially in the daylight, a weevil so I came to investigate. The four of you were waiting right around here. It was the first time I'd seen you. I'd gone to Ifan's wake but they were keeping you in another room. Anyway, so I looked in your pram and said "So this is little Ifan?"

_Iseult smiled "We're calling him Ifan though" the four year old Gavin and two year old Gwenora were clinging to their mother's skirt, clearly not sure what to make of Jack. "Would you like to hold him before you go after that weevil?"_

"_Sure" Jack picked up the infant "Aren't you adorable."_

…

Ianto looked at Jack with a raised eyebrow "I'm not sure if that's sweet or creepy. You've never changed my nappy have you? Because that would be weird."

Jack laughed and kissed him "I promise I haven't."

"Now, you said something about dessert?"

"Right you are" Jack opened the boot and took out a cooler he'd hidden in there "Moonlight picnic dessert."

Ianto looked up at the cloudy sky "What moonlight?" then he smiled at Jack "Nevermind, it's the thought that counts. But if there're any weevils, you go after them."

Jack closed the boot and put an arm around Ianto "Deal."

"So was it a weevil back when I was a baby?"

"Yeah, whole nest of them. It wasn't pleasant."

…

* * *

For dessert Jack brought triple chocolate mocha fudge cheesecake, made for them especially by Jeanie; that Time Lady could bake. To drink Jack brought sparkling apple cider, non-alcoholic of course "Touch of the bubbly?"

Ianto smiled and held up the champagne flutes "Yes please." They were sitting on a bench near the spot where they faced that weevil back when Ianto was stalking him.

Jack poured the cider and they used the cooler as a table between them. They each had a few bites of the out-of-this-world cheesecake before Jack started talking again "So holiday, when you're all better, where do you wanna go?"

Ianto swallowed a bite "Mhmm, good question. There's a lot to choose from. Where were you thinking?"

Jack thought about it "Maybe somewhere tropical that way I can see you get a tan."

"Jack, I'm British, I don't tan."

"You can see me with a tan then and I can show off my mad surf skills."

"Hmm, maybe."

"Aruba, Jamaica, ooo, I wanna take ya," Jack sang "Bermuda, Bahamas, come on…"

Ianto held up a hand "One, don't you dare finish that line and two, you actually know a Beach Boys song?"

"Don't sound so surprised. It's not like I'm stuck in the 40s."

Ianto smiled "Only kidding, cariad. Anyway, I think we should go to one of those places for our honeymoon. For this holiday, I don't know. Someplace we can be ourselves, some place away from the Rift and Torchwood."

"Well there's San Francisco and San Diego's great."

"What about Seattle? They have coffee there. Al's wife speaks very highly of it."

"Yeah we can do Seattle. Tell you what, you look up things you'd like to see there and we'll plan it."

"Okay. Do I have to go into work tomorrow?"

Jack shook his head "Not if you don't want to."

Ianto leaned back, winced and sat straight again "I just feel guilty, I've had so much time off lately. You should offer the others some holiday time, maybe before ours."

"I will but Ianto, you have a family, you need more time off. They understand that. When Gwen starts having kids, she'll get more time off too if she takes it and if Tosh and Owen ever get together…"

"Well as long as you're being fair and it's starting to rain."

"So it is" Jack stood up and started putting the stuff back in the cooler "I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain, what a glorious feeling, I'm happy again."

…

* * *

Cadfael was just getting ready to go to lunch when his youngest brother stormed into his office, looking really quite agitated. What now? And oddly he was dressed casually today.

Sally, his secretary was right behind Ianto; she looked apologetically at Cadfael "I'm sorry sir…"

"It's all right Sally" Cadfael told her "go back to your desk."

Ianto closed the door after her and then rounded on Cadfael "Why wasn't I ever told about Torchwood?"

Cadfael sighed and rubbed his temples "What?" he stood up "look I'm just going to lunch, why don't you join me?"

"Nain Kylia knew about Torchwood, Jack told me and Tad knew, you must have known. Why wasn't I told?"

Cadfael put his suit jacket back on and adjusted his tie "I was wondering when you were going to confront me about that."

"So you did know, this whole time?"

"Come on baby brother" Cadfael opened the door "we'll talk elsewhere."

After a moment Ianto followed "Are you going to explain? Cadfael?"

Cadfael didn't speak again till they reached his car "Did you drive here?"

"No, Anwen gave me a ride. Jack has my car."

"Why aren't you at work?"

"None of your business. Cadfael, why was I never told about Torchwood?"

Cadfael unlocked his car "Get in."

Once they were both inside Cadfael said "After Mam disappeared Torchwood became a forbidden word in our house."

"Why?"

"I'll show you" Cadfael started the car "you remember that video camera we had, the one the Drystan liked to take over?"

"Yeah, he still had it at Nain's funeral didn't he?"

"Well it was brand new in '85. Drystan liked filming so much Tad got him his own set of video tapes. One of them he recorded Tad never saw because if he knew what Drystan had been filming, he'd have been belted six ways from Sunday."

Ianto looked at him "I'm not following. What was Drystan filming?"

"You'll see." Cadfael drove to his house, which was the Jones family home. He took Ianto to the study, which was still set up the way their father had it.

Ianto sighed "There a reason you haven't redecorated in here?"

"I like it this way" Cadfael pulled a VHS tape out of his bottom desk drawer "You can have the dummy if you want, Gwendolyn can't sew to save her life."

Ianto went over to the dressmaker's dummy in the corner, no one had touched it since he finished Rhiannon's wedding dress eight years before "I was going to ask, thank you. I promised Gwenora I'd make her dress, you know whenever what's his name proposes. I think he's called Jim."

"Yeah that sounds right." Cadfael went over to the TV and VCR he kept in the opposite corner and put the tape in "Now, this first bit was filmed a couple days before Mam vanished, the second bit is what Drystan would have been belted for."

Ianto stood next to him and Cadfael pressed play.

The date said 12 June 1985 and an 11 year old Drystan's voice came from behind the camera as he walked down the hall "This is a day in the life of the Jones family, a Drystan Jones production." He walked into the family room where most everyone was "As you can see we're a close knit bunch, we even like to be bored together." He moved the camera to a 17 year old Cadfael who was sitting in Tad's easy chair reading an accounting book "this is Cadfael Jr, the oldest and we all call him Caddy even though he hates golf."

Cadfael, without looking up from his book said "get that thing out of my face Drystan if you don't want to be eating through a straw the rest of your life."

"Moving on" the camera focused on a 15 year old Aldwyn who was seemingly trying to meditate "this is Aldwyn, he's next in line and it looks like he's trying to commune with the spirit world."

Al's eyes snapped open "Drystan, would you like to be Edie's twin sister instead of her brother?"

The camera quickly moved off him and landed on 13 year old Geraint who was playing Operation with a 9 year old Gwill. Geraint was clearly winning.

"This is a stupid game" Gwill said "can't we play cops and robbers?"

"Later" Geraint said.

"And here we have" came Drystan's voice "Geraint, third in line, he wants to be a doctor, and Gwill, fifth in line or sixth if you don't think Edie and I tie for fourth. Anyway, Gwillym has an obsession with cops."

"I do not" Gwill tossed a throw pillow at him "What does obsession mean?"

The camera moved away and an almost 4 year old Gwenora came running into the room, holding something in her hand, giggling like mad and a six year old Gavin was chasing her.

"Gwenie, that's not yours, it's not even mine!"

"What's going on?" Drystan asked.

Gavin stopped in front of him "Gwenie has Edie's glitter and she covered Ianto with it."

"Didn't" Gwenie said from behind Geraint "Gavie did."

"I did not!"

Suddenly Rhiannon shouted "Mam!" from the hall.

"This I gotta see" Drystan left the family room to see a 7 year old Rhiannon standing over a 22-month old Ianto, a very sparkly Ianto who was clearly too stunned to cry. The camera started shaking as Drystan started laughing.

Mam and 11 year old Edythe came running. "Oh dear gods" Mam scooped Ianto up "who did this?"

"That's my glitter" Edie exclaimed "who stole my glitter?"

Drystan managed to get a hold of himself "From what I understand, either Gavin or Gwenie."

Mam sighed "Shut that off Drystan, dinner's almost ready and you're tad will be home soon. No recording at the dinner table."

The screen went fuzzy.

Ianto pressed pause with a sigh "I knew there was a reason I hated that stuff." He laughed "Did we ever find out who did it?"

Cadfael smiled "Both of them."

"So what happens next?" Ianto hit play.

The next scene started, the date was four days later and the image was clearly the inside of this room's closet. It was the shuttered kind so one could just barely see out of it. Drystan's breathing was quiet. Voices in English this time came from the other side of the door.

"I've looked everywhere Cadfael" that was without a doubt Jack "she's nowhere in the city." They must have been talking about Mam.

Tad sighed heavily "Not surprising, must be that Rift of yours."

"I don't know. I don't know what happened to her but I will keep looking and as soon as I find her, you'll be the first to know. I promise."

"This is your fault" Tad snapped, clearly losing his temper "she'd still be here if you hadn't called her in!"

"You don't know that" Jack was clearly trying to keep his voice calm.

"Yours and bloody Torchwood's. She just couldn't quit, it gets under your skin."

"She was born into it, don't blame me. Cadfael listen…"

"Get out of my house, Harkness."

Jack took a breath "If there's anything I can do to help while…" there was the tell tale sound of a fist striking a jaw.

"I want you to stay away from my family and if I ever see you again I will find a way to kill you permanently. Now get out."

Footsteps retreated and what seemed like an eternity later Tad shouted "Cadfael, Aldwyn, Geraint, get in here!"

Moments later the three eldest boys entered the study. "Yes Tad?" Cadfael asked "I guess you told Captain Harkness what for."

"I don't want that name mentioned in my presence again" there was the sound of a door closing "Listen up boys, because these are the new rules. That name and the word Torchwood are now forbidden, we're not to talk about it. I know the twins have some idea what it is but they're not to know anything else and the younger ones will never have any idea. I want you all to stay away from that world. Is that clear?"

"Yes sir" the three chimed "But" said Geraint "what if Mam comes back?"

"She won't" Tad's voice was harsh "now we're going to forget about this and as far as I'm concerned your mother left us of her own volition. I'm going out, if I'm not back by the time the bars close come and find me." He left the study.

After a long moment of silence the closet door opened. Caddy stood there "If I were you, Drystan, I'd hide that tape."

The screen went fuzzy once more. Cadfael pressed pause this time and looked at his youngest brother.

Ianto was pale and he swallowed "So, that's why? Even after he died, you kept your word."

"Yes. When Gwill met Jack and he figured it out, he confronted me about it and I told the others but you were MIA at the time."

"Why not tell me when I came back when Nain was sick?"

"This next bit explains why." Cadfael pressed play.

The scene was now a hospital room, Nain Kylia in the bed looking frail and older than she should, the date was 18 September 2004 and all the siblings were there except Ianto.

"Ianto will be here tomorrow" Gwill was telling Nain "he promised."

"I know" Nain smiled a little "but he is why I wanted to talk to you all today."

Drystan kept the camera on Nain, she didn't seem to notice it.

"What about?" Cadfael asked.

"He doesn't know about Torchwood does he?"

"As far as we know" Gwill said "We were going to tell him…"

"Don't you dare. I want him kept away from it."

"Why?" that was Al "he shouldn't be the only one in the dark."

Nain sighed "He is so much like your tad-cu, same addictions, I do not want Ianto ending up like him. If he knows about Torchwood and gods forbid ever joins I can see him as your tad-cu. Torchwood changes a person, look what it did to your mam. She should have stopped when she married your tad but she didn't."

Gwill sat next to her and took her hand "Torchwood's not all bad Nain, Jack's a friend, he's a good bloke."

"Good bloke he may be but Jack Harkness is cursed" then Nain looked right at the camera "turn that contraption off Drystan Jones."

The screen went fuzzy and Cadfael turned off the TV "You see Ianto; it was Nain Kylia's dying wish that you not find out about Torchwood. She didn't want you to end up like Tad-cu Ifan."

…

Ianto took a shuddering breath, it all made sense now. He tried to blink back tears, whether they were from this new information or the fact his morning pain pills had wore off, he couldn't tell. It was probably a combination. He sniffed "I'm not mad, Caddy. I get it. But why didn't you say anything once you knew I was in Torchwood, why didn't the others?"

"Because you have Tad-cu Ifan's temper. You'd have given us the cold shoulder for not telling you, at least when you were still drinking." Cadfael put a hand on Ianto's shoulder and Ianto couldn't help it anymore. He leaned on his brother and cried on his shoulder.

"Hey, it's okay, we should have told you anyway."

"It's not just that" Ianto sobbed "broke my tailbone yesterday skateboarding. That's why I'm not at work." He sniffed again and stood up straight.

"Why were you skateboarding?"

"Felt like it. Is there anything else on that tape?"

"Nain's funeral, that's it."

Ianto nodded "Can I borrow it?"

"Sure."

"Thank you, Cadfael for showing me. Can you give me a ride home? I am in immense pain."

"No problem."

…

Ianto decided to hold off on talking with Jack about the video and everything he'd learned till sometime after Hermes's trial. Ianto needed to do some thinking. Maybe it was time for a change in careers. Was Torchwood right for him? He didn't want to die young after all, he wanted to die an old man, safe in Jack's arms. He'd think about it later, it was too much right now.

..

* * *

**Well? Reviews are inspiration.**

**Now, if it takes less than 15 minutes to get from Armless Dragon to Heath Park, let's pretend Jack was taking a longer route to confuse Ianto.**

**The next chapter will be up when it's done, remember though I am trying to work on Immortality and Gambit and Endgame too. Wild Endeavour is on hold till G&E is finished (which should be in a couple of chapters, hopefully).**

**In the next chapter of Not Unbreakable we will find out who Hermes's real father is, it should prove interesting.**

**TTFN**


	48. The Trial of Hermes pt 1

**Hey gang, sorry for the delay. This chapter gave me trouble and it's only the first part of Hermes' trial.**

**Treat alert: There is a sex scene in this chapter, not very detailed and not very sweet but it's not in a bedroom.**

**Disclaimer: This chapter contains multiple gods, I don't own them and if there's any offence in this chapter it's not intended. I don't own Methos either. What? Oh just read it.**

**Please enjoy.**

**Title: The Trial of Hermes Part 1**

* * *

The next night…

Cory and Rini would be staying with Gwill and Anwen while Jack, Ianto and everyone else who was staying in their house were at Stonehenge.

Owen, Tosh, and Gwen saw them off in the garage. "All right Ianto," Owen handed him a couple of pills "These will do you for the ride to Stonehenge and they should wear off just in time for the trial. Now listen, that's a good thing, you wanna be coherent during testimony don't you?"

Ianto's brows furrowed "What do you mean?"

"These pills will make you pain free but mixed with your Prozac you'll be a little loopy, at least that's one of the possible side effects. You might be fine."

"Don't care" Ianto swallowed the pills "thanks Owen."

"And two more for the ride back" he handed these ones to Jack.

Jack pocketed them "All right gang, on the bus" he looked at Owen, Tosh, and Gwen "Don't blow the place up."

…

* * *

It would take around two hours and ten minutes to get to Stonehenge on the M4 and for ten minutes Ianto was fine. He sat quietly behind Jack, looking out the window and making idle conversation with the others. Jack, in respect to Ianto's tailbone was trying to concentrate on driving carefully.

"Are we there yet?" Ianto asked him suddenly standing at his side.

"It's only been ten minutes, Tiger; we've still got two hours yet give or take. Medicine working yet?"

"Oh yes, quite nice" he put a hand on Jack's shoulder "I love you" he leaned down and kissed Jack's head.

"I love you too, now sit down and let me drive okay."

"Okey dokey" Ianto returned to his seat "Can we listen to some music?"

"Yeah Dad" said Nick "turn on some tunes."

"Sure" Jack said "what would everyone like to hear?"

"Anything but Glen Miller and Cole Porter" Ianto stood up again "something with a little more bounce in it."

Nick sniggered and started singing in an oddly good Zazu from the Lion King impression "It's a small world after all, it's…"

"No, no anything but that" Ianto said in an equally good Scar impression.

Jack sighed "I'm glad you two are friends and everything but do grown men really quote The Lion King? And by the way, Glen and Cole had bounce."

"Bouncier" Ianto said and then started singing "Hakuna Matata, what a wonderful phrase,"

Nick joined in "Hakuna Matata ain't no passing craaaze. It's our problem free philosophy…"

DJ stood up "Nick dear, you're not on pain medication."

"No, but I like this movie."

"Anyway," DJ continued "I have an idea" he went up to Jack "If I may" he was holding what looked like a sonic screw driver.

"Sure" Jack nodded "and sit down Ianto, this isn't a tour bus. We're on the M4 not surface streets."

Ianto sat down "Sorry, can't seem to help it."

DJ fiddled with the radio "Radio waves never really disappear, they keep travelling you see."

Nick spoke up "Like how people from another planet were only just getting transmissions from the 50s on Pete and Pete?"

"What's that?" Nina asked.

"It's a show from the 90s about these two brothers both named Pete…Nevermind."

DJ continued fiddling "yes exactly. Now if I just triangulate this right, I should be able to get transmissions from galaxies away and years ago; even from Gallifrey because they're still floating out there."

"Don't you have discs or something in your Tardis?" Jack asked.

"Oh sure" the Doctor came up to the radio "but where would the fun be in that? Let me help son, you need another sonic boost to pick up Gallifreyan signals."

A few moments later, a loud screeching sound came from the radio. The Time Lords seemed pleased but the humans covered their ears, except Jack who couldn't for obvious reasons.

"What the hell is that?" he shouted.

"Folk music from the outskirts of Wild Endeavour" said DJ.

"You call that music?"

"Oh right" the Doctor shut it off "Sorry, has to be in a tardis for humans to hear it properly."

DJ looked contrite when Jack glanced at him "Sorry, forgot."

"Are my ears bleeding?" Jack asked "Because they feel like they should be."

"No, you're fine" the Doctor went back to his seat. DJ followed.

Jack sighed and changed the radio to a classic rock station "Rules are the driver chooses the music. No arguments."

Unfortunately as it turned out the pills Owen gave Ianto did make him a little loopy. He would not sit still and he kept singing but he mixed up words and tunes. For instance he sang 'Robin Hood and Little John walking through the forest scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head.' He also at one point started blowing raspberries.

Nick groaned "Dad, can I please give him a nerve pinch or a choke hold or something?"

"No, we're almost there" Jack said as they crossed into Salisbury.

"Yeah, but how long is that medicine supposed to last? We've still got two hours till we actually have to be at Stonehenge. Why are we here this early anyway?"

In a moment of coherence Ianto said "We can't just drive up to it. Jack can get us past security but we'll have to walk from there. I as the brother of two druids will not allow pollution so close to Stonehenge."

At the trial they were required to wear "traditional" dress, the humans would be provided for apparently but the Time Lords and Lady had to bring their own. It seemed however that neither the Doctor nor DJ kept Gallifreyan dress robes on their tardises but much to their displeasure Jeanie did and had packed them in her Mary Poppins like handbag.

When Jack parked the bus Jeanie pulled out three sets of scarlet robes.

The Doctor took hold of his with a sigh "No orange? I look good in orange; mind, that was in my fourth incarnation. The Master had framed me for assassinating the president."

"Why would he do that?" Jeanie asked.

The Doctor sighed again "He felt like it, I suppose."

…

* * *

Once the time lords were dressed in full Prydonian class grab the gang began their trek to the ancient monolith.

"I've been thinking" Jack said "Ianto, how about a family pet or two?"

Ianto stopped and looked at him "Really?"

"Well yeah, I know you want a cat, so does Rini and maybe sometime we can get a dog. A big one not those yappy things that fit in handbags."

Ianto scoffed "Those aren't dogs. Chester would've eaten those for lunch if he'd had half the chance. In fact I think he attempted it once."

Jack smiled "From what you've told me of that cat, it wouldn't surprise me." He looked at the others who were waiting just a little ways ahead "You lot go on, we'll catch up." Once they started moving he said "You doing okay?"

"Saw that wince did you?"

"Just a bit."

"Yeah, I think the medicine's starting to wear off. Anyway you're right, I do want a cat. I think it would be good for my mental health. I just hadn't brought it up 'cos of all that's been happening and work constraints."

"Like I said, you don't have to be at work as often as the rest of us and the kids can help with any pets."

"That goes without saying. Until I'm fully healed I won't be able to bend to clean the litter pan." He sighed "Jack, cariad, there is something I need to talk to you about and as long as we have time and my tongue is loosened by medicine and pain I might as well do it now. It's about work." His expression was worried and his face was pale.

Jack took his hand "What is it? You wanna change your schedule? Duties? 'Cos I am perfectly fine with that. You know I don't want you in the field. You can always do what your mother did."

Ianto arched an eyebrow "Come in every now and then and tend to the files? No, Jack I don't think so."

"Then what?"

"I uh, I think I want to quit entirely."

Both Jack's eyebrows rose, he couldn't quite believe what Ianto had just said "Really?"

"You want me to don't you?"

"You know I do but I wasn't gonna force you."

"And I appreciate that. Now I want me to."

"What brought this on all of a sudden?" Jack asked "what did you and Cadfael talk about? You were awfully quiet yesterday. I didn't want to push. I figured you'd tell me if and when you were ready."

"Thank you" he sighed "I found out a lot from Cadfael. After Mam vanished Torchwood and your name became forbidden in our house. Jack, I don't blame you, I know it's not your fault. I don't know if it was the Rift or anything alien that took her from us. Hell she could have just been murdered by a run of the mill psychopath. But she left the house because she didn't quit, because Torchwood gets under your skin." His eyes glistened.

"Under your skin?" Jack repeated for lack of anything else to say. Wait, where had he heard that before? Yes, Cadfael Sr. had said that to him the day he broke his jaw.

"When you came over the day Tad hit you, Drystan was hiding in the closet and he was filming."

"Oh" Jack thought he saw a red light through those shutters "Cadfael showed you the tape?"

"Yes and I would have been fine if that had been all but it wasn't. The next bit on the tape was when Nain was sick and she told everyone not to tell me about Torchwood, wanted me to stay away from it. 'Cos of what happened to Mam and because I'm so much like Tad-cu Ifan." He'd started pacing "Jack, I don't want Torchwood to get under my skin any more than it already is." He stopped pacing and looked at him "It's addicting Jack, the thrill of Torchwood but I don't want to die like that. I want to die an old man. I want to watch the kids grow up" tears were finally streaming down his cheeks.

Jack took him in his arms "I want that for you too, Ianto, so much." And all he could do was just hold Ianto till he calmed.

Ianto sniffed "'M sorry Jack, I didn't mean to break down like this."

"It's okay, I understand. Now as much as I want you to quit, I also want you to be sure. So why don't you think about it while you're healing and then we'll decide. We'll talk about it too. How's that sound?"

Ianto nodded "Good idea" he looked in the direction of Stonehenge "I guess we should get going."

"Yeah, I wanna see what exactly Hermes is in for."

Ianto sighed and rolled his eyes.

…

* * *

At ten to midnight a man stepped out of the stone circle. He was clearly Egyptian and he wore a headdress that greatly resembled an ibis.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen" he spoke with heavily accented English "I am Thoth, welcome to Stonehenge."

Despite the pain he was in Ianto bowed to him "It's an honour to meet you sir. Hermes speaks very fondly of you." Thoth, Ianto knew, was one of Hermes' best friends.

Thoth held out his hand with a smile "and of you Ianto. Please call me Thoth, we do after all have a friend in common."

Ianto shook his hand "How is he doing?"

Thoth sighed "Going stir crazy, they are keeping him in a Tartarus cell until trial."

"Oh dear."

"Wow" Nick said "so your head isn't actually that of an ibis?"

"Nicholas" Jack hissed.

Thoth merely smiled "Quite all right. As you'll see the Egyptian gods wear very detailed headdresses. The ancients chose to draw us as if we actually had the heads of or actually were these creatures. I'm not sure why. Now, if you'll follow me, I will take you inside and then we will find proper clothing for you humans."

They followed Thoth through the outer circle and were no longer outside. They were in a great hall of some kind, all white marble with columns and statues and paintings depicting various scenes from the pantheons.

Jack let out a low whistle and then he asked Thoth "What exactly do you mean by proper clothing?"

"Ah, we will look into your ancestry and you will dress accordingly. Normally, we us the mother's side of the family but as that's a lot to sort through in you and your sister's case we will use your father's mother."

Jack and Nina's paternal grandmother had been Welsh—one reason Major Jackson had fallen in love with the country, so three of the four humans were dressed like druids. Nick was dressed like a Viking.

Once they were dressed Thoth explained how the proceedings would go. Serving on the Council of Elder Gods would be Zeus, Ra, Odin, the Dagda and a few others who weren't as well known. After took their places, Hermes would be led it. Oghma was his attorney and Athena was serving as prosecutor. Witnesses would be called randomly, usually by Athena but since Ianto already declared he was for the defence Oghma would call him.

The courtroom was all marble and gold but at least the benches looked comfortable—they had cushions. The group sat down in the middle of the left side of the room.

"Wow," Nina said looking around "are they all gods here?" she asked Thoth.

"For the most part, some are demi-gods, nymphs and the like. Now if you'll excuse me I must sit up front. I'm the stenographer."

Jack looked around the room too.

"Looking for someone?" Ianto asked.

"Yeah, I'm wondering if Sweetness is here. Oh look there's Hercules" Jack waved.

A man who looked suspiciously like Kevin Sorbo smiled and waved back. Then he came over to them "It's good to see you again, Jack."

"You too," Jack hugged him. Jack was right, Ianto thought, Gwill really was built like Hercules. "You remember my sister Nina and the Doctor and Jeanie" Jack continued.

"Yes of course" Hercules nodded and greeted them. Then Jack introduced Ianto, Nick and DJ.

Ianto smiled and shook his hand "It's an honour to meet you sir."

"Likewise" Hercules touched Jack's crossed swords pendant "I see you're a warrior of Ares now."

"Yep, I told you he's a nice guy."

"Hey" a blond man walked up to them, his eyes were deep blue, he wore a red toga and the symbol of Ares hung around his neck "I have a reputation to protect." Oh, this must be Ares' true form, guess he wasn't allowed to look like Kevin Smith for the trial.

Jack rolled his eyes "Sorry."

"Anyway, how ya doing Ianto?" Ares asked.

"I've had better days" Ianto was in immense pain now, the medicine completely worn off but he felt he was hiding it well.

Ares patted his shoulder gently "Well don't worry, the trial shouldn't last very long. It's really only a formality, I think the council's already made up their mind. Don't get too comfortable yet, we'll have to stand when they come in."

…

* * *

A few minutes later Thoth stood and called "Please rise for the Council of the Elder Gods."

Everyone stood and a group of thirteen gods and goddesses entered the courtroom and sat in the benches at the front. Zeus was in the centre "You may be seated" he said and once everyone was he said "Bring in the accused."

Hermes was led in by two centaurs and was placed in what was obviously the prisoner's box. He was wearing only a loincloth and his arms and feet were shackled. He looked more annoyed than anything.

Thoth unfurled a scroll and read from it "Hermes ap Llewellyn" wait a moment, what? "son of Maia and Llewellyn Methos ap Arawen stands accused…"

Ianto just barely stopped himself from shouting "What?" Hermes had lied to him about who his father was. Why? Hermes looked directly at Ianto and mouthed "Sorry."

Thoth continued to read; Hermes was accused of directly interfering with mortal lives, interfering time lords and their 'travel devices', playing matchmaker when it was not his job to do so and that was just the recent stuff. It took more than half an hour for Thoth to read off all the rules Hermes had ever broken. During the reading Hermes' expression changed from smug to ashamed but mostly smug, like he was proud of what he'd done. When Thoth finished he sat down.

Zeus' voice boomed like thunder over the courtroom "Hermes ap Llewellyn, your most shameful crime was lying about your lineage."

Hermes leaned back in his seat "Hey it's not my fault people think you're my father."

Lightning flashed "That is not what I meant and you very well know it!"

Hermes cringed but did not lower his eyes.

Zeus continued "You told your mortal friends that the Dagda was your father when that is not the truth."

The Dagda the only red head in the group of thirteen crossed his arms and glowered at Hermes.

Zeus sighed "You intentionally lied about your father, Hermes and that is disgraceful. Ever since your father was banished you have been becoming more and more insufferable like he is because he too has not learned his lesson."

Hermes glared at Zeus "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You will stay silent until told otherwise!" lightning flashed again. Zeus took a breath "Before we begin calling witnesses we will show your mortals just who your father is. Several centuries ago Llewellyn Methos ap Arawen son of Arawen Welsh lord of the dead took the blame for something Hermes had done and he was banished. His powers and godhood were stripped and he was imprisoned in an alternate reality. His immortality remained more or less." A screen of some sort appeared behind him. The view was of a beach and then a man walked into the shot.

Ianto's mouth fell open, the man looked like Methos from the TV show Highlander. If it was Methos, it would certainly explain why Hermes was uncomfortable with him being one of Ianto's 'If you could go on a date with anyone, living, dead or fictional' people.

…

* * *

Hermes was not happy about this. He had not wanted Ianto to find out like this. Granted, he shouldn't have lied about who his father was but he was ashamed, ashamed at what his father had become in 5,000 years. He was doing better now but it still hurt. Methos, as he always preferred to be called, had been a great father, the best. But being trapped in that reality made him bitter and somehow turned him evil, going against everything he was taught.

But maybe that wasn't the real reason Hermes hadn't told Ianto the truth. Maybe it was for the very reason that was about to be revealed on the Viewing Screen.

Methos wandered over to a bar on the Tahitian beach and picked up a phone. As it was French Polynesia, he spoke French "I'd like to place collect call to the UK please. Thank you" the call was transferred to a UK operator and Methos switched to English "Hello, I'm afraid I don't know the number but I have the address will that do? Lovely, the name is Ianto Jones at _insert address_, Cardiff. I know it's late but I don't think he'll mind. Thank you."

Hermes kept his eyes on the screen, not daring to look in Ianto's direction. The screen split as the call went through like in the movies. One half was Methos on a sunny beach in Tahiti and the other was a darkened bedroom with a ringing phone. A light switched on and Ianto sat up. Only in that reality his real name was Ifan of Cymru and he was an immortal.

He groaned and picked up the phone "Hello? Tahiti?" he sighed "Yes, I'll accept the charges." He had time to mutter 'cheapskate' before the call went through.

"Hello" Methos spoke cheerily "I'm not interrupting anything am I?" he spoke in Welsh.

Ifan yawned "Only my sleep, it's three in the morning. I thought you didn't have phone access where you were."

"I didn't but I have since returned to civilization in Papeete. I was bored with the serenity. I felt like being around people. And I miss you so I thought I'd call."

And there was the reason Hermes didn't tell Ianto about Methos, it was because of Methos' relationship with the immortal Ianto. It was just weird.

Ifan yawned again "Miss you too. Been awhile…for mortals anyway. It's good to hear your voice."

"Yours too. So you don't have anyone to keep you warm tonight?"

Ifan sighed "Alas, no. I had something going with my boss a couple months ago but he ran off and only just returned."

"And you haven't decided if you want him back yet?"

"Oh I do but I don't know if it's worth it, ya know. To his credit he did apologise, sort of. He got back two days ago and the same night he ex showed up and tried to kill us all. If I ever see that psychopath again I'll rip his head off—after I feed him his own cock. Anyway, Jack, my boss is complicated for someone not one of us. It'd be stressful, a relationship with him but I think I might be too attached already. He's just so cute with his bright blue eyes and dazzling smile."

Methos rolled his eyes "You need to stop viewing mortals as puppies."

"I do not! And you know it. Besides…" Ifan cut off abruptly, clearly he stopped himself from revealing Jack's secret. Because Jack had the same not dying problem in that reality too—he just wasn't a "Highlander" immortal as Hermes had taken to calling them. "Anyway," Ifan continued "enough about me. How's Tahiti?"

"Lovely as always. You should take a holiday and come see me. There's a gorgeous stretch of shoreline we can have to ourselves."

"I'd like to Cariad, but my team would be lost without me. I could have used you last October though."

"What happened?"

"There were cannibals in the Beacons…" before he could say more his mobile rang "Hold on" he set the receiver down and picked up his mobile, he glanced at the ID before answering "Yes Jack? No, I was talking to a friend in Tahiti. Yes I have my own friends. Is it really so shocking? He says Tahiti's lovely. Yes, I said he. Maybe. Is there something you wanted? How many? No, I don't mind. I'll meet you there" he hung up the mobile and went back to the landline "Sorry, Methos, that was Jack. I've gotta get to work."

"I thought it was three in the morning."

"Well it's Torchwood."

"I thought they went belly up last year."

"In London. I work for Torchwood in Cardiff now. You can call me some time tomorrow okay."

"Sure, I'll let you go. Be careful darling."

"Always. Kiss a native for me."

"Already done and then some."

"Knew I could count on you. I should go."

"Yeah, you hang up first."

"No, you hang up first."

Hermes wanted to gag. Those two have known each other over 2,000 years and they still did cutesie crap like that? Granted telephones had only been around for slightly over a hundred but still.

"No you" Methos countered.

"No Methos, we're not doing this again. There's a weevil infestation in Heath Park. Wait, I'm paying for this. I'll talk to you later."

Methos chuckled "All right. Nos da, Ifan."

"Nos da," Ifan hung up and his image disappeared.

Methos hung up the phone, got a beer and went back to the sand.

"Llewellyn's banishment would have been over fairly quickly" Zeus' voice boomed "but he decided to become a murdering rapist."

As ashamed as Hermes was of his father, he could not help defending him "He gave it up! And who are you calling a rapist?"

Zeus threw a lightning bolt at him. It would have killed a mortal but as he crawled back in his seat Hermes knew that all it did to him was singe him and make him look like he had the same stylist as Don King. Despite that Hermes refused to be complacent.

Then as if to prove some sort of brattish point, Zeus aimed his lightning through the screen at Methos. The first bolt hit just to his right. He yelped and spilled his beer.

"What the hell?" he looked up at the sky where there wasn't cloud in sight. Thankfully no one else on the beach seemed to notice the lightning. Methos took a breath "Okay."

Zeus threw another bolt at him, it hit to the left this time. Methos jumped out of the way but the third bolt made him fall backwards.

"Okay," he got up and dusted himself off "Once is unfortunate, twice is a bad day but three times…" he seemed to look directly up at the View screen "what'd I do this time Zeus? Or are you just that bored? You always were an insufferable brat."

Zeus threw more bolts at him, making him dance.

Finally Hermes couldn't take it anymore "Stop it!" he shouted but his wasn't the only voice. His mother and grandfather shouted it too.

"Enough Zeus" Arawen stood "This trial is about Hermes not his father. Methos his serving his sentence, leave him be."

With a wave of his hand, Zeus made the screen disappear "Athena, you may begin."

Athena stood and began pacing in the space between the Council benches and the audience. "Hermes has been breaking the rules since the day he was born when he stole Apollo's cattle…"

"Objection!" Oghma shouted "Hermes was in reality four years old."

"Sustained" Ra said "Please be accurate Athena, do not use mythology as a reference."

Hermes tuned out the rest of Athena's opening statement, he didn't want to hear it—Athena had never really liked him much. He thought of cotton candy, it was much more forgiving. He didn't even listen when it was Oghma's turn, he was screwed no matter how he was defended. He'd be punished either way, this kangaroo court was just for show.

He pulled himself out of his sugar fantasy when he heard Athena call Jack to the stand.

…

* * *

When Athena called for Franklin John Jackson Jr. it took Jack a minute to realise she meant him. He gave Ianto's hand a squeeze, stood and walked to the front. He bowed to the Council and sat in the witness stand.

Iris approached him "Do you swear by your patron deity to tell nothing but the truth?"

Jack fingered his pendant "I do but considering he's the god of war, I don't know if you'll believe me."

Zeus chuckled "I'd say that's honest."

Iris moved away and Athena stepped up to him.

"Is it true that Hermes left a spell box in your archives and it caused you and Mr Jones to switch bodies?"

"Ah well you see there's a story to that…"

"Yes or no, Mr Jackson?"

"Okay but first of all it's Captain…"

"Yes or no?"

Jack huffed "Yes but if you'll just…"

"Did this annoy you?"

"At first but…"

"Hermes regularly annoyed you since hasn't he?"

Jack resisted the urge to roll his eyes, he had a feeling he'd never get to elaborate with her, so he decided to just answer her questions and hope he'd get to say more on cross. "Yes, well not…"

"And when you discovered Hermes had strong feelings for your partner how did that make you feel? I remind you that you are under oath."

"Objection!" Oghma stood "what does that have to do with Hermes breaking the rules?"

"A good question," said Odin "Athena?"

"It has to do with what's lead to Hermes' recent actions."

The council whispered to each other for a few seconds and then Zeus banged a gavel "We'll allow it. Answer the question Captain."

Jack sighed "I admit I was concerned initially" his eyes found Ianto "but I trust Ianto more than anyone. I have nothing to worry about."

Athena did not seem to like this answer "Would you say that in the past seven months Hermes has severely interfered in your life?"

"I wouldn't say severely…"

"Yes or no?"

Jack glared at her "Yes."

"No further questions." She returned to her seat.

Oghma came up to him "You indicated there was a story behind the body switching. Would you tell it now?"

Finally. "Yes. I enjoyed it. I learned a lot about Ianto I hadn't known before."

"Were you angry with Hermes?"

"No, not at the end."

"Did Hermes advise you to be honest with Ianto about certain aspects of your life?"

"Yes and I'm glad he did."

"In fact, you could say that Hermes' interference as my esteemed colleague says has helped you more than hindered you?"

"Objection" Athena shouted "leading the witness."

"Yes" Jack answered anyway.

Oghma smiled "No further questions."

Zeus looked at Jack "You may step down."

Jack returned to his seat where Ianto put an arm around him.

Over the next two hours, Nick and the time lords were called to the stand, as were Aphrodite and some of Hermes' obvious frenemies.

Nick didn't do as well as Jack as Hermes annoyed him but he stated that he was grateful for the matchmaking effort.

Jeanie and DJ answered respectfully, honestly, and neutrally.

Aphrodite said she wasn't upset with Hermes for playing matchmaker, she just wished he'd talked to her about it first.

The frenemies like Loki and Coyote were no help at all.

The Doctor annoyed Athena by going on about how fascinating everything was, how it was much more entertaining than the trials they had on Gallifrey and that he didn't see what the problem with Hermes was.

"So" Oghma said when he questioned the Doctor "do you agree with Hermes' actions?"

"Well, I certainly can't disagree. I'm a lot of things, hypocritical isn't one of them."

Jack wasn't sure if that was the answer Oghma was going for.

When the Doctor was excused the Council called a recess.

…

* * *

Ianto was relieved, he needed to stand up something awful. Sitting down for more than two hours was excruciating.

"Can you help me up, cariad?" he asked Jack as the courtroom began to clear.

"You don't have to ask, darling" Jack eased him up slowly.

"This is how it'll be when I'm 90 you know" Ianto said "sure you wanna stick around for that?"

In response Jack kissed him "I will never stop loving you."

"I know, it's just…" Ianto closed his eyes tightly and clenched his fists hoping that would somehow ease the pain.

Jack got the message and gently put an arm around him "Come on, let's see if there's coffee. That'll make you feel better."

Ianto lost track of the rest of their group he was in too much pain to pay attention. And he even lost track of what everyone had said after Jack's testimony. All Ianto knew was that he, Nina and Ares had yet to be called.

"You think Oghma's saving those who have declared allegiance to Hermes for later?" Ianto wondered as they reached a snack table.

"Yes" Ares came up to them "I think it's part of his strategy. So, you're still defending him even after what you saw tonight?"

"Yes" Ianto said instantly "Hermes is my friend, my god. So he and his father have the same taste in men, it's not a big deal. And I think I understand why he lied to me about it. If my father were involved with someone who looked like me, I'd be uncomfortable."

Jack snorted "You're father was afraid of people who look like you, but then so was I. I don't deny it."

Ares looked at Ianto "Did you just declare Hermes as your god?"

Ianto blinked, thought about it and smiled "Yes, yes I did. I swear loyalty to Hermes." A golden pendant appeared around his neck, it was a Caduceus, the symbol of Hermes, now shared by the medical profession—or stolen by as Hermes says.

Ares patted his shoulder "You're a good man, Ianto Jones."

"Ares," Jack said "Where's Sweetness?"

"Oh she can't be here because this doesn't count as the Afterlife. She's still freshly dead you see. It's really very complicated and I can't explain it any better than she can't be here. But she's watching on the gods' version of a TV and she sends a message for you. She says she's doing well and she wants you to hug and kiss Rini for her."

"I'll be sure to do that."

Ianto got himself a coffee "Do you know what Hermes' punishment will be?" he asked Ares.

"I imagine something similar to his father's but I doubt it'll be in the same reality. Council's cruel like that. Excuse me" he moved away.

"How's the coffee?" Jack indicated Ianto's cup.

Ianto took a sip and warmth spread through him, momentarily lessening his pain "Delightful."

Jack got his own and sipped "Not as good as yours."

Ianto kissed his cheek "What will you do when I can no longer make coffee?"

"Suffer and I don't fancy thinking about it."

"Thank you for what you said on the stand."

"It was the truth and always will be."

"I trust you more than anyone too."

They stood silently for awhile as they drank their coffee. As soon as Ianto finished his the pain shot back up. "Jack, do you think maybe half a pill will make me loopy? I don't think I can stand this much longer."

"Is it that bad?"

"I can't stand this anymore" Zeus approached them and put a hand on Ianto's lower back.

"Hey," Jack said.

"Relax Captain. Are you willing to sacrifice a dash of your immortality to help heal him?"

Seemingly without thinking Jack answered "Always. Anytime. Take it all."

Zeus smiled a bit sadly "I can't do that I'm afraid, the Time Vortex is greater than me" he put his other hand on Jack's chest. "You'll be a bit sore for a few days Ianto and you'll have to be careful. You two are so right for each other I can't bear the thought of you unable to make love for a torturous amount of time."

Heat gathered around Ianto's tail bone and spread to his still bruised penis. The pain seemed to literally melt away.

Zeus stepped back "There you are Ianto, all better."

"Thank you my Lord" Ianto told him sincerely, knowing better than to ask why exactly. You don't look a gift horse in the mouth—unless it's made of wood. You also don't ask a god if you can repay them. Belief and respect are enough.

Jack hugged Zeus "Thank you from me too."

Zeus patted his back "You're quite welcome. Now we still have half an hour before we reconvene if you two want to find a quiet spot somewhere."

Ianto grinned "Thank you sir" he grabbed Jack's arm.

…

"Then men's room Ianto?" Jack chuckled as Ianto pulled him into the far stall. "Naughty. I like it."

"Thought you might" Ianto shoved him against the wall and attacked his mouth. It felt so good to have an erection. The sex would be quick and dirty but that's what Ianto wanted right now. They would make love when they got home.

Jack moaned "All yours Tiger, do whatever you want."

Ianto got on his knees "Take turns, we have time" he lifted up Jack's robe and squeezed his cock a few times before taking it in his mouth. He took it all the way, Jack tasted so good.

"Yes Ianto, oh yes. Oh god. Gonna be soon babe."

Good. That's what Ianto was aiming for. He sucked harder. Jack came in seconds, Ianto swallowed every drop. He released the softened mini captain and Jack pulled him up.

"Fuck me" Jack turned around hiking up his robe to expose his arse, his delightfully tight arse.

Ianto prepared him with a little spit as lubricant, his own robe and entered him, slowly at first but picked up speed when Jack told him so.

"That's it Ianto, harder, harder, yes! Right there!"

Ianto came within moments, pumping his hot liquid into his lover. When he slipped out of Jack, Jack turned around and kissed again "My turn."

* * *

**Let me guess, you wanted to see Jack in action too? Maybe next time. I wanted to post this chapter ASAP.**

**The rest of the trial will be in the next chapter.**

**Please review, reviews make me want to write more.**

**By the way, if you read Gambit and Endgame, there might be some confusion. The chapter I recently updated is new, I know it says 33 or something that might have made you think 'did she repost this?' I deleted the prologue you see because it wasn't working for me anymore.**

**So the thing I posted two weeks ago is new. I say this because I only got two reviews and I'm worried about my other readers.**

**Oh and if you like Remus/Sirius I've started back on my puppy fic "Black and Lupin: School Days."**


	49. The Trial of Hermes pt 2

**Hey gang, so sorry for the wait but you know, things and I don't even remember how long's it's been. The days are all blending together. I so need a job. Stupid economy. I do volunteer with the blood bank sometimes though—I make sure the donors rest and eat something before they leave.**

**This chapter isn't very long but it didn't really need to be. There is no love scene, I apologise but as soon as I can think of a really good one, I will put one in somewhere.**

**I hope you like this chapter anyway.**

* * *

The Trial of Hermes part II

Both Ianto and Jack left the restroom feeling much more relaxed. Ianto especially felt fantastic. He really needed that. He was really quite addicted to Jack and only two days without Jack-lovin' was driving him mad.

They had just enough time to have a bit more coffee and a light snack of grapes before everyone was called back into the courtroom.

…

* * *

Nina did very well when she was called to stand. She stated that Hermes didn't annoy her at all and was very thankful to him for reuniting her with her brother.

When her testimony was over Oghma stood and said "I call Ares, son of Zeus and Hera, king and queen of the Olympians to the stand."

Ares calmly walked up there, bowed to the council, gave a smile to Hermes and sat in the witness stand.

Iris approached him "Do you swear by Gaia, the Earth Mother to tell nothing but the truth?"

"I do" surprisingly Ares didn't offer a witty retort.

Oghma went up to him "How long have you and Hermes been friends?"

Ares exhaled "Since we were babies, so a very long time. He's better at calculating Earth years."

"So you know him pretty well then?"

"I like to think so."

"When Hermes has broken rules, have his intentions ever been malicious?"

"Objection!" Athena shouted.

"On what grounds?" Oghma asked.

Zeus sighed, "Athena?"

"Ares' definition of malicious is very different than anyone else's."

Hermes winced.

Ares glared at the war goddess "That's not true you little…"

"Ares" Zeus said warningly "Objection overruled, we'll allow Ares' opinion."

For a moment Ares looked quite shocked but then he said "No, Hermes' intentions have not been malicious. His interests have always been in causing good things to happen."

"In your opinion" Oghma said "do you think that his recent rule breakings have caused good things to happen?"

"Most definitely."

"Thank you, no further questions."

Athena shot up immediately and approached the witness stand "You are Hermes' best friend are you not?"

"Yes."

"You tell each other everything don't you?"

"Objection!" Oghma shouted.

Zeus held up a hand "Answer the question Ares."

Hermes winced again and kept his eyes closed.

Ares sighed heavily "There are some things you don't tell your best friend so no, not everything. But there's stuff I haven't told him."

"He didn't tell you the truth about his sexuality."

"To be fair he never actually lied, he just didn't tell me. Besides I suspected, I mean most Greek men are bisexual, it's no big deal. What does this have to do with anything?"

Athena ignored him "You said that Hermes' intentions have never been malicious."

"Yes."

"Some of his prank victims could disagree."

"Objection!" Oghma stood "This has nothing to do with Hermes' pranks, he's a trickster god; he's allowed."

The council bent their heads together and then it was Odin who spoke "Yes, in his own pantheon but when he does it in others, that's when it becomes illegal. We'll allow this line of questioning."

Hermes put a hand on his forehead.

Athena looked smug and she turned back to Ares "Hermes is the god of thieves, that gives him the ability to be malicious."

"I admit that some of his pranks have gone a little too far but he always pranks for fun. He never means any harm and not all thieves are malicious. Look at Aladdin." Had Ares just referenced a Disney movie?

"You've assisted Hermes in several of these pranks, have you not?"

"Objection! The witness is not on trial."

"Sustained" Zeus said "Athena move to a different topic or finish your cross examination."

Clearly seeing she'd get nothing more from Ares she stepped back ""No further questions."

Zeus sighed, "You may step down, son."

Once Ares had returned to his seat (after glaring daggers at Athena) Oghma stood again "I call Ifan Carwyn Jones."

Ianto took a breath and stood. He bowed to the Council and took his seat in the witness stand.

Iris approached him "Do you swear by your patron deity to tell nothing but the truth?"

Ianto fingered his Caduceus "My patron deity is the one on trial so does it still count?"

Iris looked up at the council questionly.

"If not," Ianto continued "then I swear by my grandmother's, Cerridwen."

Zeus nodded "That will do. Oghma you may begin your questioning."

Oghma came up to him "How long have you known Hermes, Ianto?"

"In this life, eight years come August" Ianto decided to be as honest as he possibly could.

"So then, you knew Hermes in a previous life?"

"Yes sir, in my first."

"And you were close then were you?"

"We were lovers, you should know, you were there."

Oghma's cheeks took a slight red hue "Yes, well, anyway. Back to this life, has Hermes ever annoyed you?"

"Of course he has, that's what friends do."

"Have you ever wished he hadn't interfered in your life?"

Ianto had to think about that one for a moment "Not really. Without him, I don't believe my life would be turning out this way. I wouldn't be as happy. He has my eternal thanks."

"No further questions" Oghma returned to his seat and Athena approached the stand.

"But Hermes lied to you. For seven years he didn't tell you the truth about who he was and when he did he still didn't tell you the complete truth. He lied about his father."

Ianto took a breath "I imagine he had his reasons. I'm not angry with him."

"You were arrested once, weren't you?"

"Objection! Ianto's past has no bearing on this case."

"It has to do with his credibility" Athena said.

Zeus nodded "You may answer, Ianto."

"Once and I was fifteen. I was punished for it. But I don't think that has anything to do with Hermes."

"You've also done drugs and are an alcoholic."

Ianto bit his tongue to keep from saying 'So's Dionysus but you seemed to like what he had to say'. Instead he said "Recovering and I've not done drugs in over two years."

"Last year, you put the entire planet at risk when you tried to cure your half-converted cyber girlfriend."

It was not just Oghma's voice that rang out in objection but Jack's and Hermes' as well. And it was Hermes who elaborated "That shows Ianto's loyalty to those he loves."

"Two innocent people are dead because of what he did" Athena countered "and you cannot object!"

Ianto cringed, the deaths of Dr Tanizaki and Annie Bennett still weighed heavily on his soul but he knew now that the best way to attempt to make up for it was to live his life the best way he could in their honour "I take full responsibility for that. No one was supposed to get hurt but they were because I didn't listen to common sense. It is not a mistake I will make again and again it has nothing to do with Hermes."

The Dagda spoke up "He's right Athena. It takes a real man to risk everything to save the woman he loves, especially when she is not his Soulmate. You forget, Ianto himself was almost killed that day."

"But Ianto has admitted to his friends that he hit that same girlfriend."

Ianto cringed again.

"When he was drunk" Oghma interjected "you said yourself he's an alcoholic. He's one of the few Welshmen who cannot hold his liquor well and he regrets completely how he treated Lisa. And once more I say, the witness is not on trial."

"Sustained" Zeus said "Athena, that's enough. You will keep your questions to the character of Hermes only."

"No further questions."

…

* * *

When it was finally time for the council to deliberate everyone was asked to wait outside, everyone except Hermes who had to stay in the defendant's box with those centaur guards.

"I don't think I like Athena very much" Ianto stated when he was sure they were out of the war goddess's earshot.

"Join the club" Ares came up to them. "But like I said this trial was only a formality."

"There are better mortal prosecutors" Jack pointed out "it didn't seem like she was trying very hard."

"And why did she want to focus on my faults?" Ianto asked.

"Athena's a much better prosecutor when she feels she has to be" Ares explained "but since Hermes' fate is pretty much already decided she didn't bother. And she has something against men who so much as jokingly threaten to strike their women. She, Artemis and Hestia were on the front lines of the first women's rights movement."

"Well" said the Doctor as he approached them "I think it's going well. What's this about a cyber…"

"Later Doctor" Jack said.

"What's the point of this trial if Hermes is going to be punished anyway?" Ianto asked Ares.

"Methos didn't get one and Arawen pointed that out."

Speaking of the Welsh lord of the dead, Arawen came up to Ianto "Ianto, child I would like to thank you for being so loyal to my grandson."

"Oh no thanks necessary my Lord."

"Still, if you don't mind coming with me a moment, I have a gift for you."

Knowing better than to argue with a god, Ianto nodded and followed Arawen to some sort of ante-chamber.

"I'm afraid I could only arrange for one to see you but it was the best I could do in the time we have."

"One what?"

Arawen smiled "You shall see" he waved an arm towards a curtain "step through there."

Wait, the Lord of the Dead could only get one to see him? Suddenly understanding, Ianto stepped through the curtain to see "Tad-cu Taliesin?"

Taliesin smiled broadly and pulled Ianto into a hug "Ianto my boy. Your Nain Kylia wanted to be here but she's still considered "freshly dead", apparently anything less than five years is still fresh and since you were just an infant when Ifan died..."

Ianto hugged his grandfather tightly "But what about Tad? Not that I'm not glad to see you."

Taliesin stepped back "Yes, we'll get to your parents in a minute. But first let me look at you. You do look just like Ifan. That's too bad…"

"Tad-cu" Ianto rolled his eyes.

Taliesin chuckled "Your tad-cu Ifan and I were good friends, despite what your Tad may have told you."

"I know. Major Jackson told me."

"Do tell him I said 'hello' and before I forget, you tell your Nain Bronwyn that I'm well, next time you see her and she's having a good day."

"I will, I promise" Ianto blinked at the sudden stinging in his eyes. He hadn't been to visit his paternal grandmother in quite some time.

"I will be coming to collect her soon so be prepared for that."

Ianto sniffed and nodded.

"Now, I don't have much time so I will tell you this, your mam is still alive but I can't tell you how to find her."

"I understand. How's Tad?"

Taliesin bit his lip "Your Tad needs help. He's trapped."

"Trapped?" Ianto said with alarm "his soul's in trouble?"

"Yes. What happened to him had to do with that haunted house you boys explored and the only way to free him is to fight the evil in that house. You and all your brothers and sisters. That's all I can tell you, I am so sorry."

Ianto breathed deeply "All right, we'll save him. I promise."

"I know you will" Taliesin kissed his cheek "That's from Kylia. Now, really quick I wouldn't mind seeing wosname, I mean Jack."

Moments later Jack stepped through the curtain and yelped. He clung to Ianto "Taliesin? You're looking good."

Taliesin smiled "Ifan will be pleased to hear that's how you reacted. Anyway, I can't say I understand this" he indicated Jack and Ianto "but I have seen how much you love my youngest grandson so I'm not against it."

Ianto felt himself smile "Diolch" then his brows furrowed "Nain's not terribly disappointed that I joined Torchwood is she?"

"No, as you didn't know you weren't supposed to. Your Tad-cu Ifan's quite proud actually. Speaking of, Jack I have a message for you from Ifan."

"Oh?" Jack took a step forward "what does he say?"

Taliesin then mimicked holding a gun and said "Bang."

Jack sighed and then grinned "Tell him I said 'Thanks Boss, I needed that."

Ianto looked between them "Am I missing something?"

"I have to go now, Ianto" Taliesin said "You remember what I told you."

"I will. Give everyone over there my love."

"And you do the same on your end" Taliesin pulled him into another hug.

"I will sir. I love you Tad-cu."

"I love you too and I am very proud of you."

…

"You okay?" Jack asked when they were back among the others in the hall.

"I don't know" Ianto clung to him "Tad's soul is in trouble and Mam's still alive."

Jack hugged him close "We'll find her, Ianto, I promise."

…

While the Council "deliberated", Hermes thought about how his friends had stood up for him, Ares and Ianto especially. He hadn't been honest with either of them and they still forgave him and were willing to defend him. Real friends like that didn't happen every century. And Oghma gave a valiant effort with the defence, even though he knew going into this it was pointless. Too bad Thoth was the stenographer and couldn't testify. Maybe that was done on purpose because he would give a really good defence and wouldn't let Athena get to him.

Oh well.

Hermes then went back to thinking about cotton candy. He loved it so, anything made from pure sugar really, he wasn't much a chocolate person—which Ianto found weird. Sugar and honey candies were his favourites.

Finally everyone came back into the courtroom. When the Council returned they remained standing. Hermes was led to stand before them.

"Hermes" Zeus said "while it is true you have accomplished good things, we feel a lesson must still be learned."

Knowing there was no getting out of this, Hermes nodded "Yes my Lord."

"Until such time that we feel you have learned this lesson, you will be mortal."

Hermes kept his expression neutral, he wasn't surprised.

Zeus continued "Because you have done good things, you may stay in this reality with your mortal friends and you will retain your knowledge of the English language."

That wasn't so bad. He could do this.

"However," the Dagda added "to make it difficult for you, Hermes ap Llewellyn, you will not be able to tell a single lie."

Hermes' mouth hung open and it seemed the entire room gasped. "What?" he squeaked. Being mortal was one thing but being unable to lie? That was just torture. Pure torture!

A crystal box appeared in Zeus' hand "Brace yourself Hermes" he stretched out his other hand and drew out Hermes' immortality and powers, his godhood.

It was very painful. Hermes felt like Westly in the Pit of Despair, he was pretty sure he was screaming in agony. His heartbeat echoed in his ears and then he blacked out.

He awoke to find Ianto leaning over him and shaking him gently.

"Hermes, this may be a stupid question but are you okay?"

As a god, Hermes saw souls, what a person looked like on the inside. Good people like Ianto and his friends were rather beautiful with a few flaws here and there. On the outside, Ianto didn't look much different than his soul.

Hermes took a moment to understand what Ianto had said because he asked it in English and then answered "If feeling like I was in the Pit of Despair with the machine turned up to fifty means I am okay then yes, I suppose so." He let Ianto help him sit up; he saw Jack and the other humans and Time Lords. They were in the middle of Stonehenge.

"You'd be mostly dead if that were the case" Nick said.

"Mortals are mostly dead" Hermes snapped, he still felt quite painful. He took a breath "I am sorry, that sounded insulting."

"It's all right" Ianto helped him to his feet "you're in pain. You're allowed to be a little snappy."

Hermes gratefully leaned against Ianto, unsure if he could stand on his own just yet "I gather that the gods just disappeared and the courtroom dissolved around us."

"Yep" Jack said "it was weird. Are you aware your hair is now black?"

"My hair is supposed to be black. Both my parents have black hair. I felt the golden brown made me look more godlike and okay, maybe I did not want to look like my father once he became a psychopath. Now that I am mortal, well there you have it."

"You don't look that much like Methos; really just the eyes," Ianto said "and maybe the ears."

"Tell me I don't have his nose."

"No not the nose."

"Thank the Goddess" Hermes blinked "my accent is different."

"Yes, the vowels sound Welsh and the consonants sound Greek."

"I think it's sexy" Jack took off his coat, the humans were back in their regular clothes "You wanna wear this on the way back to the bus. You look cold."

Hermes blinked "I do?" the he shivered. Oh yes, he was cold, quite freezing actually "uh yes, thank you." He felt the wet grass beneath his feet, he was still wearing only his loincloth but at least the shackles were gone. "They could have left me shoes."

"I might have some in my bag" Jeanie said and began digging through her purse. The Time Lords looked exactly the same, Hermes could not see the souls of non-earthlings.

Ianto took Jack's coat and helped Hermes into it. Wow, it smelled good. He still felt a little wobbly and very, very sore but he knew he needed to get his land legs "Here Ianto, let me try standing on my own."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

Ianto stepped back.

Hermes stood fine, it was walking he was afraid of, let alone if he had to run.

"Here we are" Jeanie pulled out a pair of garishly yellow shoes.

Hermes stared at them "Oh you are kidding me."

They were clown shoes but beggars can't be choosers. Damn it.

With Ianto's help Hermes made it to the bus without getting grass stains on Jack's coat.

"By the way" Hermes said once on the bus and he'd kicked off those infernal shoes "where can I sleep? There is no room in your house."

"No worries" Jack told him "you have the couch. Nick said he's staying in DJ's tardis tonight."

"I gotta go back home and see my mom soon anyway" Nick settled in a set next to DJ.

"We'll work everything out later" Ianto said "right now, let's just get home and go to bed."

"Fine by me" Jack said and held out his keys "anyone want to drive?"

"I will" the Doctor volunteered cheerily.

Jack sighed and agreed though it looked like it was against his better judgement. Then he and Ianto sat in the back with Hermes.

Eventually Hermes fell asleep across their laps.

* * *

**I know, I know, what was the Time Lady doing carrying clown shoes around in her purse? Not what you were wondering?**

**Okay in the next chapter the Doctor will probably be on his way to Christmas and we'll just mention that in passing but we'll see him again. We'll also summarise the sleeping arrangements in the Janto household. I think Nick and DJ are gonna go to the States for a bit but will be back in Cardiff for Father's Day (which will be posted much sooner than next year's Father's Day I promise). And Nina is thinking of getting her own place and Jeanie stays in her Tardis in the Hub most of the time, hey someone has to keep an eye on the Rift. In the next chapter we will meet Hermes' daddy. **

**Here's a preview:**

"_I know" Hermes said quietly "I guess I'm just, I don't know, I want my mama."_

_Methos completed his descent down the stairs "Will I do?" he asked as he came into their view._

_Ianto gasped and his eyes—much younger than Ifan's—were wide. Hermes stared at him pale and mouth slightly open. He was so pale that the veins in his lower arms were clearly visible. His curly black hair was messy and his eyes—Methos's eyes—were red and tired._

_Hermes swallowed "Papa? What? Where? When? Why? Watermelon?"_

_Ianto arched an eyebrow "Watermelon?"_

_Methos moved closer "Yes son, it's me. I've been granted a furlough, courtesy of your tad-cu. I came in through the bathroom via the Otherworld just a few minutes ago. Why? Your tad-cu feels we could both do with a visit and you know I hate watermelon." _

**It's okay if you're confused. All will be explained. **

**Let me know what you think, pretty please.**

**TTFN**


	50. New House Guests

**Surprised to see me so soon? It hasn't been as long as last time has it?**

**Anyway, keep your hands and feet inside the car at all times. The crazy train is getting crazier and it may just ride off the rails but it's ever so much fun.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Methos though, I wish I did.  
**

**Chapter title: New House Guests**

* * *

Ianto felt he should be paid for this.

First of all, he'd only just gotten to sleep at six that morning when Iris showed up to inform them that the gods (saints that they were) had provided Hermes with an identity. Kind of them but they neglected to give him an income. Ianto in his caffeine deprived state suggested that perhaps he could train Hermes to be his replacement. That way Hermes wouldn't have to work to find a job. And Hermes wanted one, he felt he had to keep busy because apparently a bored Hermes was not a good thing. Also he didn't want to feel like a freeloader and eventually wanted to try living on his own as a mortal—he was not going to take this punishment lying down.

Now that he was awake Ianto was thinking that maybe Hermes in Torchwood might not be the best combination. Ianto had volunteered to take Hermes shopping for clothes and other necessities and Hermes was not the best person to go shopping with.

The man (or boy because he looked like a teenager) it seemed had no interest whatsoever in keeping still or focused. He was like a raccoon with every shiny thing catching his attention. Scratch that, it was more than just the shiny things. It was like shopping with a two year old.

"Hermes" he growled for the fifth time since they entered the Tesco "must you touch everything?"

"I will have you know Ianto Jones that I am not touching everything. I am not touching anything that is specifically for women."

"You touched that nightgown."

"It looked silky and so did you."

"Only to get it out of your hands."

"Keep telling yourself that."

Ianto sighed "You know, I think we have enough for a few days. We can finish your shopping later" _and I might just send you with Anwen, she has the patience of a saint _"because right now I have a headache."

"Fine with me, I am thirsty anyway and hungry. Is it almost time for supper?"

"In a couple of hours. Would you like a snack?"

"Please."

"Go ahead and grab some crisps or candy or something. And why do you keep using proper grammar? You haven't used a contraction since before your powers were taken."

Hermes shrugged "I have no idea. Perhaps with my real accent I feel I should enunciate more so people can understand me better."

Ianto thought about it "That makes sense."

"Why are we speaking in English anyway? I do know Welsh."

"I don't know, you started it" Ianto replied, switching to Welsh "now let's get out of here."

…

Jeanie's Tardis was finally fixed so the Doctor felt his services were no longer needed. He asked DJ to travel with him for awhile but DJ didn't want to leave Nick again, not so soon after reuniting anyway. He did promise his father that they would travel together eventually; they had plenty of time after all. As it happened, the Doctor promised he'd be around for Christmas and he left.

Nick and DJ made plans to go to America to see Nick's mother. Until they left, Nick would be staying in DJ's Tardis. He preferred it anyway, apparently the couch wasn't as comfortable as Menelaus had claimed.

Nina decided she was ready to move out on her own so she started looking for a flat. That way she said Hermes could have her room and he wouldn't have to sleep on the couch. Jeanie had taken to living in her Tardis anyway so someone was always keeping an eye on the Rift. Nina was also going to find another career because Torchwood was not for her.

Rini wasn't overly pleased about being the only girl in the house again but Ianto and Jack promised her they would get a girl cat and dog-for starters, they had room for two each. This made her happy.

* * *

…**Okay, now for the actual chapter. And time for some explaining. Here it goes: You don't have to read my Highlander crossover "Immortality: Greatest Gift or Greatest Curse" to understand this because the story will be summarised later on/reference throughout the next undecided amount of chapters. This first scene takes place within Immortality and for those of you who have read it, it's after Ifan killed Henry and Methos went up to the bathroom and Jack had heard him crying and retching. In fact in an effort to lessen confusion here's that scene:**

_There was nothing but stunned silence in the Hub as they all stood around the medical bay, looking down at Henry's body. Owen had set out his autopsy equipment but hadn't started anything yet. He was simply staring, clearly shocked, as they all were, at what Ifan had done._

"_All right, Owen" Jack began, he stood at the top of the stairs._

"_Don't" Methos was down in the medical bay, leaning wearily against the wall and for a moment Jack could see his age. "I think it's obvious how he died, there is no need to cut up his body even more. Besides he was Jewish; a Rabbi typically gives permission for an autopsy."_

"_Methos is right" Joe said "and we should tell his mother first."_

_Methos looked up at him "Teresa Michaels is still working?"_

"_Yeah, she's in London."_

"_She should be told in person. This is not something that should be told over the phone" then Methos went up the stairs of the medical bay and then up the stairs towards the bathrooms._

_Jack followed him and stood outside the closed door. He heard the sound of retching, the toilet flushing and then the faucet running, along with violent sobbing. Jack wanted to go in there and comfort him but considering he felt like doing that himself, he let Methos alone. It was probably what he needed right now anyway. _

**That being said, on with the show. **

* * *

…

Methos normally had a very strong stomach; death typically didn't affect him like this. If anyone else had killed Henry, Methos wouldn't have reacted this way but the very fact Ifan had been the one…Methos wanted to throw up again but he had nothing left to throw up. He tried to control his sobbing as he splashed water on his face. How could this have happened to Ifan? Ifan was too good for this. Ifan was the only man Methos would ever truly love and what terrified Methos was the thought that he might be too far gone to be saved.

Methos also sobbed because he wouldn't be in this situation if he weren't trapped in this reality. He didn't belong here; he wasn't supposed to be an Immortal. He just had to go and be a good father and take the blame for his son; his son, whom he missed terribly and thought of every day. Methos also desperately missed the mother of his son and while he really did love Ifan, his heart would always be owned by Maia.

"Llewellyn Methos ap Arawen" a voice behind him boomed.

Methos straightened up, that was his full name. He hadn't heard it in over 5,000 years, hadn't heard the voice in over 5,000 years except in the deep recesses of his dreams. He would know that voice anywhere, despite how long it'd been. He turned around "Tad?"

Before him stood a man, not much different in appearance than himself, this man was only slightly taller, nose smaller and eyes deep blue. Other than that Methos bore a striking resemblance to his father, Arawen, the Welsh lord of the dead.

"Hello son" Arawen spoke in Godspeech, the common tongue of all pantheons.

"Is my punishment over?" Methos asked in the same tongue, surprised he could still speak and understand it.

Arawen shook his head "I'm afraid not, child. Your punishment would have been revoked centuries ago but due to your less than scrupulous activities the Council agreed you should stay here till we feel you have truly learned your lesson. As you are still fighting the evil inside you, you have not yet learned it."

Methos leaned against the sink "I had a feeling that was the deal. What makes you think I haven't learned my lesson?"

Arawen's eyes flashed "You are considering joining the Immortal Ifan if you deem him incurable."

Methos glared at his father "No I'm not."

"De Nile is a river in Egypt as they say in English."

"Father, why are you here?"

"You are upset. I wanted to talk to you."

"I've been upset several times in the past 5,000 years; you've never come to see me before."

Arawen leaned against the opposite wall with a weary sigh "This is different. You really love this Ifan don't you?"

"Yes."

"And yet your heart still belongs to Maia."

"Always" Methos breathed, thinking fondly of his first wife and his only Soulmate.

"Your dear son has a similar situation. His heart belongs to Thea."

Methos smiled "I remember her. Been reincarnated has she?"

"Several times. So has Ieuan. Do you remember him?"

"You don't forget your son's first love. So Hermes is in love with two people at once? He really needs to stop taking after me."

"He has never been a murdering rapist!" his tone was as harsh as the slap that went along with it. Finally Arawen lost that Welsh temper Methos worked to suppress. "Your job as my son was to quickly end the suffering of fallen warriors and guide them to Annwn. That was your task. I did not raise you to torture and rape. What possessed you to act that way? What possessed you to act like your bastard Titan grandfather and to run around with someone of the same name as him?"

Methos looked down at the floor; there was a purple stain on it that clearly Ianto had been unable to remove "Grandfather Cronus ate humans, I never did and the names are spelled differently depending on whom you ask. Couldn't I have used this intervention 3,000 years ago?"

Arawen grabbed him by the shoulders "Believe me I would have loved to knock sense into you then but only now was I able to get permission to speak to you."

Methos lifted his head "You're my father, you shouldn't need permission."

"I bloody well know that!" he slammed Methos against the wall "But they seem to think differently! How could you, Methos? How could you allow such evil to enter your soul?" he kept one hand on Methos's shoulder and used the other to sock him.

Methos didn't fight back, he had no desire to. He deserved a long overdue beating from his father; he himself believed in corporal punishment—Hermes got a good spanking every now and then. Besides he had no answer for his father, he had no real idea what caused him to join Kronos and start killing and certainly he had no excuse that would hold up in a court of law of any sort. At some point they had left the bathroom and were in a foggy field dotted with golden lights. Methos recognised it as part of his father's realm.

Finally Arawen stopped and stepped back, looking at Methos with concern "You frighten me when you don't fight back. It makes me feel guilty."

"Don't" Methos slumped to the ground "I deserve it. I don't know why I did what I did, Tad. And sometimes yes, I am tempted to start again. Sometimes I find excuses to kill, like with the Inquisition."

"Why that though?" Arawen looked down at him "why work for them, knowing where you come from?"

Methos shrugged "I don't know. Bitterness I suppose. This punishment was a bit unfair if you ask me. I felt guilty though, eventually and I stopped after Ifan gave me a speech about preserving the old ways." He felt the tears come again "and I had this dream where you were frowning at me…much like you are now. I had a similar dream when I decided to leave the Horsemen, only Hermes was there too and the look on his face…" and he couldn't help it anymore, he started crying again, the emotional pain outweighing the physical "I don't want to be evil, Tad" he looked up at his father, pleading "I don't want to hurt anyone, I just can't help it sometimes. I thought I was over the guilt but it's worse than ever now. Tad, I want to be how I was before."

Arawen's arms were around him, holding him like he hadn't done since Methos was a child. "If that's what you want to be then you just be."

"But I don't know how anymore. And I know that makes me a hypocrite after what I told Ifan but I've forgotten how to be that guy. The guy who had the love of his wife and son, who would win Father of the Year if there was such a contest and idiots like Zeus and Odin didn't cheat. I was a good father to Hermes wasn't I?"

Arawen rubbed his back "Better than I was to you. You were also a great friend and you helped those you cared about without complaint…much. You are half Welsh, bunch of whiners us."

"But we get the job done" Methos said with a wet chuckle. He rested his head on his father's shoulder "I want to be that guy again but I don't remember how."

"That's why I brought you here. You've been granted a furlough."

"What now?" Methos looked up "furlough?"

"Yes. While your sentence is not yet complete it's been agreed that you deserve a break."

"Oh, I'm all for breaks," Methos was dancing on the inside.

"When your holiday is over I will return you where I found you. No one will know you were gone."

"Handy. I don't think they'd appreciate it if I just disappeared on them right now."

"I will send you somewhere you're needed and I believe it will benefit you as well."

"Where is this then?"

"Your dear son has gotten himself into some trouble recently."

Methos sat up "What's he done now?"

"Broken the straw on the camel's back you could say."

Methos blinked "You mean broke the camel's back with the last straw. You're always getting those sayings wrong, Tad."

"Well yes. He has broken too many rules over the centuries and now he has been punished."

"_Now_ he gets punished? Why now?"

"As things have been slow lately, his services are not so needed. He has been punished with mortality."

Methos raised his eyebrows "Mortality? What did he do?"

"As he has also been cursed with honesty I will let him tell you. You both could do with a visit with each other."

"Where is he?"

"He is in a reality where we gods are better able to be corporeal. This is the reality where the reincarnation of Ieuan resides. Thea has since completed her life cycles. And you must know that in this reality there is an alternate version of Torchwood but you are a fictional character on a television show."

"Huh. Nifty. Wait, if I'm a fictional character and Torchwood exists, what does that make Ifan?"

"He is mortal, called Ianto Jones and I will warn you, he is the reincarnation of Ieuan."

Methos was silent for a moment, trying to make sense of that "So this alternate version of my Ifan is the reincarnation of Ieuan and Hermes loves him?"

"Yes, you know as a Guide of Souls, he only sees souls, when he's a god anyway. And Ianto doesn't look that much different than his soul."

"Well that's awkward."

"Still Hermes needs a visit and perhaps lecture from his father and you could use one from him. So that is where I will send you and if you're a good boy I might be able to arrange a conjugal visit with your wife."

Methos got to his feet "Let's go then."

Arawen stood and rolled his eyes "I knew that would get you excited."

"Oh you had me at furlough and the chance to see my son. This is just incentive to behave."

Arawen took his arm and they were back in the bathroom. It was different though, the lights were off and the faucet wasn't running. Methos flipped the lights and the purple stain wasn't there "So this is the alternate Hub's bathroom then?"

"Correct. I do believe you will find only Hermes and Ianto here now. Oh and the timeline's a little different. This reality is a few months behind due to Hermes meddling. It is May here, I believe in your reality you were still in Tahiti in May."

Methos nodded "Hermes does like to meddle. How long will this furlough last?"

"That depends, certainly longer than a day, I promise you."

"Thanks Tad" Methos hugged him.

Arawen kissed his cheek "And one other thing my son; I am proud of you for trying" with that he was gone.

Methos took a few breaths and quietly left the bathroom. All was quiet down in the Hub and he descended the stairs. He stopped as he heard voices approach. One he recognised as Ianto, the other must have been Hermes. Methos had never heard his son speak English before, it was weird. He sounded some bizarre combination of Greek and Welsh.

"My hands are not shaking" Hermes was saying.

"Yes they are" Ianto said "I think you're overdoing it on the coffee and you've had to pee almost every half hour since we got here. You can't hold your caffeine."

Methos knew well the huff that followed "It is not my fault your coffee is addicting and I can too hold my caffeine, I am just not used to this stupid mortal body yet."

"You know except for the bloody annoying proper grammar you sounded like a sixteen year old just now."

Hermes huffed again "Did not."

Ianto sighed—Methos was familiar with that tone too "Just take it easy on the coffee okay? I don't want you to get sick."

"I know" Hermes said quietly "I guess I am just… I do not know; I want my mama."

Methos completed his descent down the stairs "Will I do?" he asked as he came into their view.

Ianto gasped and his eyes—much younger than Ifan's—were wide. Hermes stared at him pale and mouth slightly open. He was so pale that the veins in his lower arms were clearly visible. His curly black hair was messy and his eyes—Methos's eyes—were red and tired.

Hermes swallowed "Papa? What? Where? When? Why? Watermelon?"

Ianto arched an eyebrow "Watermelon?"

Methos moved closer "Yes son, it's me. I've been granted a furlough, courtesy of your tad-cu. I came in through the bathroom via the Otherworld just a few minutes ago. Why? Your tad-cu feels we could both do with a visit and you know I hate watermelon."

…

* * *

Hermes wasn't sure how he was supposed to react. He had certainly missed his father terribly but he was also angry and ashamed of Methos for the crimes he had committed. And why hadn't Hermes been informed of this furlough? Wouldn't Iris have told him when she came to tell him the Council had provided him with an identity? What was Tad-cu Arawen up to? Why was he suddenly meddling in things? He normally kept to himself like most lords of the dead.

Methos was looking at him, expression unreadable. Of course his expressions often were. The expression may have been unreadable but the eyes were not. Methos's eyes were red, as if he'd been crying recently. Hermes wondered what had happened; it took a lot to make his father cry. In fact Hermes didn't think Methos had cried since he'd killed Silas a decade before. Mind Hermes rarely looked in on him when he was with Ianto's immortal counterpart because that was just weird.

Hermes took a breath, there'd be time for thinking, wondering and being angry later. Right now, he just wanted his papa. He ran to Methos and hugged him tightly.

Methos held him just as tightly "My boy, I missed you so much" he spoke in Ancient Greek and kissed Hermes' cheeks.

"Really?" Hermes sniffed, trying to resist the urge to sob like a two year old.

"Every day, I've thought of you. Why just…was that only last night? Goddess."

Hermes stepped back to look at him "What happened? Your eyes are red."

"So are yours. I'm not going to ask if you're okay because I imagine you're not. You're tad-cu told me of your predicament. He just neglected to say which rules you broke; said you should tell me. Something about being cursed with honesty."

Boy was he good at diverting the subject away from himself. Hermes cringed "It is a long story but basically, you name it and I broke it."

"I'm sure. But first," he looked at Ianto and switched to English "You are quite obviously this reality's Ianto. Arawen told me who you were."

Ianto shook his hand "It's a pleasure to meet you sir. Hermes has spoken very highly of you."

"No, I have not" Hermes couldn't stop himself from saying "You only just found out about him at the trial."

"Oh?" Methos arched an eyebrow "Why's that?"

Hermes bit his tongue, damn, damn honesty. He took a deep breath "I am sorry, the only true thing I told Ianto about my father was that Zeus was not it."

"Yeah, those myths always irritated me. So you didn't tell him that I'm your father?"

"No, I was going to, I really was but then Zeus revealed it at the trail. That was one of my crimes, lying about my father."

"Hence the honesty" again Methos's face was unreadable.

Ianto slipped away and went up to the kitchen, giving them privacy.

"So" Methos leaned against the nearest computer desk "if you told Ianto Zeus wasn't your father what did you tell him?"

Hermes cringed "Well, I did say that I was half-Celtic, which is close to the truth because technically I am a quarter Celtic" this being unable to lie thing was making him sick, granted he never had been able to lie to his father; his father, his mother, both his grandfathers and Hades were the only five people Hermes was unable to lie to in his entire life. His grandmothers didn't count because you just don't lie to your grandmothers. "When Ianto thought I was human, before I told him who I was, I used the surname of Danann."

"Say what?"

"I told him that the Dagda…"

"You what?" his mouth fell open and his eyes flashed "That Irish twit?" he began to pace "It is one thing to let people believe Zeus is your father, I can live with that but downright lying? About me? Hermes I'm surprised at you."

"Are you? Are you really? You became a murdering rapist, do you really think I would tell people about you?' that came out harsher than Hermes intended.

Methos stopped pacing and the colour drained from his face "Of course you know about that. I see. I understand."

"That makes one of us. Papa, why did you do those things?"

"I don't know" he moved to the couch and sank onto it "I just had this conversation with your grandfather. Can you give me some time to recover before you start in on me? And I've not had the best of days. And this couch has the exact same lumps in it; that is so weird."

Hermes stood in front of him and sighed "I am sorry, I was going to wait to be angry; it just came out."

"Don't be sorry. You've every right to be ashamed of me."

Then Hermes realised what Methos had just said "Same lumps? You know the Hub in your reality?"

"Yes, introduced back in July."

"Would you like some coffee sir?" Ianto came up to them with a tray.

"Certainly and don't call me sir. Methos will do."

Ianto handed him a mug and then a teacup to Hermes.

Hermes sniffed it "Is this camomile?"

"Yes, I'm cutting you off. You've had enough coffee today."

Deciding not to argue, Hermes sat next to Methos "So how did you meet Torchwood? Sit down Ianto."

Methos smiled "Oh yes, please do. You might find this entertaining."

Ianto sat in Tosh's chair "All right."

"By the way," Methos said to Hermes "you wouldn't happen to know if Zeus threw lightning at me in Tahiti do you?"

"At the trial through the Viewing Screen."

"I thought that was him" he took a sip of coffee "Perfect. This tastes just the same" he said to Ianto "and you don't have over a thousand years of coffee experience."

Ianto blushed a little, "Thank you."

"We saw your phone conversation with Immortal Ianto" Hermes said.

"Ah, yes. Shall we get the awkwardness over with or do we want to wait till everyone else is here?"

Ianto chuckled "It doesn't bother me."

Hermes crossed his arms "I am getting over it."

"Well good" Methos took another sip of coffee "back in July I came to Cardiff. Ifan wasn't home when I got there so I called his mobile. Apparently his team mates had seen him die and wake up. Eventually he convinced them that he wasn't an alien or a threat but Jack followed him home anyway and hid in the tree out front."

"Why would" Ianto started but then shook his head "No never mind; that _is_ what he'd do."

"By the way, where is the good captain?"

"He and his sister are seeing their father and half siblings off at the train station."

"Long story" Hermes said to Methos's look of confusion.

Methos shrugged "Can't wait to hear it. Where's everyone else?"

"Rift alert" Ianto answered.

"Why aren't you with them?"

"I'm not doing field work anymore, not that I've ever done a whole lot. And I'll be retiring completely soon."

"Oh? Why's that?"

Ianto sighed "It's complicated but this job is too dangerous and I want to be around for my children."

"That doesn't sound…wait," Methos blinked "you have children?"

"Yes" Ianto pulled out his wallet "Rini is Jack's daughter and Cory is my son but together they're ours. It's part of that long story." He took out a picture and handed it to Methos. "They're both six but Cory will be seven in September."

"They're adorable" Methos handed the picture back "as I said I can't wait to hear it but anyway…" but before he could continue the lift descended with Jack on it.

…

* * *

Jack hadn't wanted his dad to leave so soon but Dwight and Phoebe had school and Dad promised to come back for Father's Day the following month. Jack and Nina saw them off at the train station. They'd go to London and from there a plane back to Chicago.

"Hermes doesn't have to sleep on the couch tonight" Nina said as the train pulled away.

Jack looked at her "Oh? You couldn't have found a place already."

"No, but Grandpa said I can stay with him and Nancy till I do. They don't believe in making a guest sleep on the couch."

"Isn't Owen's dad staying with them?"

"No, no, Uncle James is staying with Owen."

"You're not seriously calling him that are you?"

"He is our uncle."

"Technically but I don't think we have to call him that."

She rolled her eyes "Anyway, drop me off at the house so I can pack."

"Sure. By the way, what kind of job are you looking to get?"

"I don't know. Drystan suggested I could always take classes for something if I couldn't find anything I liked."

Jack nodded "That's a good idea. Think it'll get serious with him?"

She shrugged "Still too early but I'll let you know."

…

When Jack descended on the lift he was greeted by a mostly empty Hub. Ianto, Hermes and someone who looked suspiciously like Hermes' father were over in the sitting area. Ianto got up and came over to greet him.

Ianto kissed him "Frank and the kids get off all right?"

"Yep, on their way to London. I dropped Nina off at the house so she could pack."

"Pack?"

"Apparently she's staying with the Major till she finds her own flat. Something about it being rude to make someone sleep on the couch. What exactly is wrong with our couch?"

Ianto shrugged "I don't know; it came with the house."

"I know. I'm sure Ifan was forced to sleep on it all the time; although, that might explain why he was always so cranky."

"Anyway, we have a guest."

"I can see that. Is that Hermes' father?"

"Yes, apparently Methos has been granted a furlough from his own punishment."

"You know, whenever you say that word, it sounds so sexy."

Ianto rolled his eyes "Come over and meet him."

"Where are the others?"

"Rift alert. Nothing major, they didn't want to bother you." Ianto took his hand and led him over to the sitting area.

Jack held out his hand to Methos "Hello. Captain Jack Harkness."

Methos smirked "Yes, I know who you are."

"You know me in your reality?"

"Yes, I was just about to tell the story but perhaps it should wait. I don't want to be interrupted again."

"Sure. How long will we have the pleasure of your company?"

"Just as charming as the Jack I know. I'm afraid I'm not sure, more than a day at least."

"Well if you don't mind sharing a room with your son, you can stay with us. Or there's the couch, it comes highly recommended by Menelaus."

"I do not see why" Hermes muttered "and what do you mean sharing a room? What about Nina?"

"Oh she's staying with the Major."

"I don't mind sharing" Methos said "Hermes and I can catch up."

"I'll go fetch you a coffee" Ianto said to Jack.

"No, I need to start weaning myself off your coffee at work, if you're intent on quitting."

"It won't be till I can train Hermes to take over my duties."

"He trusts me with organising" Hermes told Methos "it's the coffee he's worried about."

Methos snorted "That sounds about right. Though my Ianto doesn't trust me with organising he makes me clean but then he goes back and re-cleans it."

"That sounds right" Jack said.

Ianto jabbed him in the ribs.

Jack flinched "When will the others be back?"

"They left about forty-five minutes ago and the alert was in Splott."

"And it's nothing major?"

"That's what Jeanie said."

"Who's Jeanie?" Methos asked.

"Time Lady" Hermes said and then began rapidly speaking in Greek.

The cog door opened a couple minutes later and four mud covered people walked in. Jack had to steady Ianto and Hermes looked visibly paler and started to twitch.

…

* * *

Methos had decided not to tell all of Torchwood the story about what was currently going on back in his reality. There would be too many questions. He knew that Hermes, Ianto and Jack would listen patiently…well, chances were good anyway. So he'd tell them after Jack and Ianto put their kids to bed and boy did that sound weird.

He was distracted anyway by the four people covered in mud. He had to meet them though he knew three of them in his reality. He was intrigued by Jeanie, his Jack had told him that in their reality there was only one Time Lord left but apparently this reality had three—all related too, that was a shame.

Ianto nearly had a conniption fit at the sight of the mud and he downed a litre of water.

"Is Jack's water addiction contagious here or something?" Methos had asked.

"No," Ianto replied "I'm pretending this is vodka."

"Why not have an actual vodka? Though I don't recommend whole litres for mortals."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

Ianto took a breath "I'm a recovering alcoholic."

"So Papa" said Hermes "you won't find any beer or the like in their house."

Methos found he couldn't respond to that.

Later when Jack and Ianto were fixing dinner, Hermes went up to take a shower. Apparently seeing mud had made him feel dirty. That left Methos alone in the family room with the children.

"So you're Uncle Hermes' daddy?" said Rini.

"That's right" Methos nodded.

"Do you have any pictures from when he was a little boy?"

"Rini" Cory said "Hermes was a little boy before they invented cameras."

Methos had to smile "That's true but I can probably draw him."

"Really?" said Rini "I can go get you some paper and crayons."

"I think I'll take a pencil for starters, thank you."

"Okay" she got up and ran upstairs.

Methos felt the remaining ice in his heart begin to melt and he'd only been here a few hours. "What about you Cory? Do you like to draw?"

Cory shrugged "Not especially. I play piano though. We have one at school. Tad and Daddy said they might get me my own for my birthday."

"That's nice. What songs do you like to play?"

"The classics; I really don't have a favourite yet but I am partial to Mozart's concertos and Beethoven's sonatas. I also like to listen to Tchaikovsky's ballets. Tad and Rini like The Sleeping Beauty. But for some reason Daddy doesn't like much classical music, he's more into early twentieth century. He has a bizarre obsession with Glenn Miller."

Methos laughed "I bet."

"According to your Daddy" Ianto came into the room with a tray of celery sticks and peanut butter "Glenn Miller is classical. I thought you all might like a snack before supper." He set the tray on the coffee table.

"Glenn Miller was jazz" Methos pointed out.

"I know. Jack refuses to believe he's dead, claims it was probably the Rift."

"I am unsurprised."

Rini came bounding back down the stairs with a sheaf of paper and a box.

"Rini" Ianto said "what have we said about running on the stairs?"

"To not, sorry Tad. Here's the paper Mr Methos" she put it on the table "and I found some coloured pencils if you want."

Methos chuckled "Just Methos will do thank you."

"You're colouring?" Ianto asked.

"I'm going to draw Hermes as a child."

There was a glint in Ianto's eye "Let me know when it's done. By the way, I may sound like a crazy fangeek by saying this but I have all six seasons of Highlander on DVD if you're interested." He pointed to a space below the television and retreated back to the kitchen.

Methos looked at the plate of celery "They make you snack on vegetables."

Cory picked up a celery stick "Sweets spoil dinner."

Rini rolled her eyes "_Cory_ makes us snack on vegetables."

"I do not. I only suggest it."

Hermes came down the stairs then, in fresh clothes and hair still damp. "Did I miss anything interesting?" he sat in the recliner.

Methos moved to the floor to work on his drawing "Cory was telling me about his music and I am drawing with Rini. Oh and Ianto brought out snacks."

"That's nice."

"Are you all right?"

Hermes shrugged "I feel weird."

"How so?" Methos got up and put a hand on his forehead "you're not warm."

"Just really tired and queasy."

"Ah, the caffeine has caught up to you. You're crashing. It's to be expected when one's had too much coffee and not enough to eat."

"Ianto's coffee is addicting."

"Yes but Hermes there's this thing, it's called restraint. I realise it's one of the few skills you lack but perhaps you should give it a try."

"Ianto has something like ten cups a day."

"He's used to it, you are not. And that is really not healthy, he really should cut back."

"I keep trying to tell him" Cory said "he just says 'one addiction at a time. I gave up alcohol do you really expect me to cut back on coffee so soon after.'"

"That's understandable." Methos patted Hermes head "I'm going back to my drawing. You just lie here and rest. You'll feel better after you've eaten and I suggest extra salt on your meal. It'll help."

…

Methos was finished with the drawing by the time dinner was ready.

"Hermes, you were adorable" Ianto said as he looked at the picture.

"Yeah," Jack agreed "what happened?"

Hermes glared at him and then said to Methos "You remember what I looked like all those centuries ago?"

"Of course I do, you're my son."

…

Once the children were in bed, the four men sat in the family room with some camomile and valerian tea, Ianto's Wiccan sister-in-law had put together.

"Stephanie says valerian helps relax you" Ianto said.

"It does" Methos nodded "it's perfect before bed. Jack, Ianto, I must say your children are extraordinary."

"We know" Jack said with pride.

"Cory speaks very well for a boy his age and Rini's quite the little artist."

"She is isn't she" Jack said "and Cory reads a lot. You should hear him on the piano."

"He's quite the prodigy" Ianto added "We're hoping he makes a career out of it."

Jack put a hand on his knee "Don't worry, I won't hire him. I won't hire either of them."

Looking at Jack and Ianto, Methos could plainly see that they were made for each other. And if that were true in this reality then it was probably true in his as well. He already knew that his Ifan's heart was not his, just as his heart had never been Ifan's. Perhaps it was time their relationship converted to platonic. "Well," he said "story time then?"

"Yes" Hermes said "how did you get involved with Torchwood in your reality?"

"Well as I was saying, Ianto's team mates had seen him die. He convinced them he wasn't a threat but Jack followed him home anyway, this same house as it happens—same on the outside, interior's a bit different. Anyhow, Jack hid in the tree out front…"

…

* * *

"Okay, explain it to me again" Jack said as they were getting in bed.

Ianto sighed "Must I?"

"You know this Highlander stuff better than me. So Ianto in Methos's reality is Immortal Ianto like the guys in that show?"

"Yes" Ianto nodded "He and Methos have been lovers for over 2,000 years. Hermes thinks that's weird but I'm okay with it."

"And now Immortal Ianto is evil."

"Yes, he had a Dark Quickening."

"And what is that again?"

"Okay, look when an Immortal kills another Immortal he takes his power, his essence and when an Immortal takes in too much evil he overloads and becomes evil himself. We can watch the episodes where it happens to Duncan tomorrow if you want."

"Okay. Did you get the impression that Methos was leaving stuff out?"

"Yes and I think it was all stuff that would make Hermes uncomfortable. I'm not sure how I know that. Maybe if Immortal Ianto is anything like me, he'd want the two men he cares for most to be close. Could be they played Naked Hide and Seek together."

"We haven't played that with Hermes though I won't say no."

"I know but I don't think Hermes would go for it now. He's too creeped out that I look like his dad's boyfriend. Now, I'd like to try and sleep tonight." Ianto cuddled up to Jack.

Jack put his arm around him "If this sleeplessness of yours continues talk to Owen okay."

"I've only been without sleep for two days, I'm sure I'll be fine."

"You know, Custer said that."

"He did not, you weren't there."

…

* * *

"You left out details" Hermes said to his father when he came back from the bathroom.

Methos sat on the bed "It pleases me to know that you haven't forgotten everything I've taught you. Yes, I left out details and downright facts but that was only to keep you from feeling uncomfortable. I wasn't lying, I was withholding information."

"Oh, well in that case, thank you. I really don't want to hear the X rated version of you and your Ianto's relationship."

"It really is X rated because Jack's been joining us and that man…"

Hermes covered his ears "La la la, I can't hear you."

Methos smirked and laughed "Oh relax, child." He patted the space next to him "now sit down and tell me about what I've missed all these centuries. First though, how is your mother?"

Hermes sat "For some reason she still loves you and she's always glad when you find someone to keep you warm at night."

Methos sniffed and his eyes glistened "I still love her too, you know. I miss her terribly. Tell me, has she dated much herself?"

Hermes shrugged "Not really but mainly because I don't approve anyone she chooses. I don't approve of any of your choices either but I haven't been able to say anything to you."

Methos sighed "Most of them have been good people."

"I know but I'm your son, I don't like seeing my parents with other people…especially when they get close to them."

"I see. Is that the main reason perhaps you're so uncomfortable with me and Ifan? Because of how close we are and not because he looks like your Ianto?"

"Maybe" Hermes said quietly "I know your heart belongs to Mama, I know that but it still bugs me when I see you love someone else so much. Mama's had a few serious relationships, I didn't like them either. When I told Ianto Mama had been with the Dagda, I wasn't lying, I was just lying about when."

"Well son, you didn't really expect us to be celibate till we're reunited did you?"

"No, I just hoped. I don't like seeing you apart. I know that makes me sound like a little kid but…"

Methos took his hand "Son, your mother and I are not divorced. We just can't be together due to ridiculous circumstances. Really, the Dagda? That drunken Irish twit?" his eyes flashed again. He shook his head "never mind, it's okay. I certainly didn't expect her to wait for me. We even made a deal before I was banished."

"You know it's just, you're so close to Immortal Ifan and I…"

"Listen to me. My heart has never been his, yes we're technically handfasted but that isn't illegal, least not where you and I come from. Ifan is my best friend more than anything else we may be to each other and he knows that. Before I met him, I had lost my soul. You know how bad I was. But when I met him I realised that I still had a soul somewhere. Cassandra made me want to use it again and when I met Ifan again, he showed me how. He saved me."

"I know; it's still weird."

"Maybe you should meet him sometime, you know when he's done being evil."

"Maybe."

"You know, when I left the Horsemen and put Kronos in that well, I went back to Thebes where Ifan was waiting for me. I found him in one of your temples in the hot baths room. I couldn't sit in there with him for long because your statue kept staring at me making me think of your mother and 'what the hell am I doing'. I just could not enjoy myself with Ifan if I kept thinking of your mother."

Hermes felt himself smile.

"That's more like it. You should never not smile. Jack on the other hand could stand to stop once in awhile."

"Nah, he looks twenty years older when he doesn't smile."

"Well in that case…now, tell me what's been happening on Olympus?"

"Well, for starters when Ares found out Darius was getting married he was so depressed he watched fake wrestling."

"Oh no."

"That's nothing compared to when Darius first became a monk…"

….

* * *

As it turned out, Ianto had another mostly sleepless night. His mind just wouldn't shut up. There was so much to think about.

He felt like a zombie as he made coffee the next morning.

Jack kissed his neck "Couldn't sleep again, huh?"

"Not really, when I did I had nightmares."

"Have you told your brothers and sisters about what Taliesin said yet?"

"I think you know I haven't."

Hermes, Methos and the kids came into the kitchen.

Ianto yawned "Bore da. Methos, while you're here, would you mind taking over telling Hermes what to do?"

Methos smiled "You don't have to ask. Due to the caduceus around your neck I gather you're uncomfortable with it."

"Ianto" Jack said "maybe you'd sleep better once you told them."

"I know but I have to talk to Gav and Gwill first because it involves that bloody house."

"I don't think Gwill's left for work yet, why don't you walk down there and talk to him. Ask him to lunch or something and call Gavin."

Ianto sighed "Yeah all right."

Ianto didn't even bother to get dressed as Gwill's house was just four down the street. He just put on his robe and slippers and grabbed his mobile. He caught Gwill just as he was getting into his car.

"Gwill, you got a minute?"

"Sure, Ianto, what's up?"

"You free for lunch today? My treat." as he spoke he dialled Gavin's number.

"I think I can manage, sure."

Gavin answered "Bore da, Ianto, what's up?"

"Hey, Gav, you free for lunch with me and Gwill today, my treat?"

"Unfortunately. Why?"

"Can't a brother treat his two favourite brothers to lunch when the spirit moves him?"

"Yeah, all right. Been awhile since the three of us sat down together."

"Great, I'll be in town around then so I'll probably get Gwill first and then we'll go get you. Okay?"

"Sure, see you then."

"Right, bye." He hung up and looked at Gwill "So when's your lunch hour again?"

"12:30. Can you still pick me up first? You know I hate sitting in the back seat."

"Yeah, sure. But if there's any bickering I'll make you _both_ sit in the back."

…

* * *

Ianto had dropped Methos and Hermes down in Cardiff's main shopping area and trusted Methos with his Torchwood credit card. Hermes needed to finish clothes shopping and Methos may as well get himself some too as he didn't know how long he'd be here.

"Why did Ianto give you the credit card?" Hermes asked.

"Perhaps it's because you're the god of thieves and I'm not." Methos rolled his eyes "I know how to act like a mortal properly, you are learning."

"But when I was a god, I pretended to be mortal all the time."

"That doesn't count. You know that. There are still some things you don't understand about mortal society. Tell me, when you were pretending, how many people thought you were an arrogant and at times, ignorant jerk?"

"Point taken" Hermes grumbled.

"Bedsides, I speak the Queen's English better. For some reason not everyone in Wales speaks Welsh which I think should be a requirement. But that's me being an old fuddy duddy. Well come on, let's start shopping."

* * *

**Okay, I think I have to end this chapter there. Don't worry, there'll be more father/son fun with Methos and Hermes later. There are also plans for Ianto's lunch with Gwill and Gav and the meeting he's going to call with the rest of his siblings. I also have plans to see the Jones spouses get together and even a separate gathering for just the American men. I just don't know when that will be. Could be in a separate chapter all to themselves. We'll see what comes out of my fingers.**

**Now, questions? Comments? Confusion? I'll be happy to clarify anything as best I can.**

**By the by, Highlander fans, in the season 6 episode Indiscretions, anyone else notice that Methos was driving a black Range Rover? Isn't that cool? Jack and Methos have the same taste in cars even though it's about ten years apart.**

**Reviews are muses.**

**TTFN**


	51. The Joneses

**Sorry for the wait. I didn't even realise how long it'd been till I looked.**

**This chapter does review the haunted house story from chapters 18 and 19 I believe and we find out a touch more. I also have here the long awaited profiles of Ianto's brothers and sisters.**

**Disclaimer: No offence intended. This is after all part fantasy. Oh and for Rhiannon's married name, I've decided to use the one in the book "The Torchwood Archives" not "Children of Earth" which I believe is an alternate reality. I really hope that one day we'll get a special that says in reference to CoE and MD 'That's what COULD have happened…but here's what really happened.' Wouldn't that be awesome? By the way,I only saw the first 3 episodes of "MD" and then just read about it. I like to refer to it as "Torched Impotency" there's like no aliens and the whole thing is just weird and disturbing. And really, the Doctor should have sensed what was going on since it had to do with Jack's immortality but noooo…. Although, I understand that in episode 7 Jack says that while he loves Gwen he would gladly rip her face off to save his own skin. I'm paraphrasing but that doesn't sound like true love to me so score one for the Janto fans. You see because in the radio play "The House of the Dead" Jack was willing to face oblivion to die with Ianto (again) but Ianto had to go and trick him out of it thus pulling a Spike and sacrificing himself to close the Rift. Now that's true love.**

**Anyway, enough of that. Sorry for the rant. Sorry too for the spoilers if you haven't listened to House of the Dead. You should even though it'll make you cry and want to whack RTD repeatedly with a 2x4 full of rusty nails made to look like a giant toothbrush.**

**Oh come on, I'm not the only one, surely?**

* * *

**The Joneses:**

**Cadfael Taliesin Jr: DOB: **2 June 1968, he's the spitting image of his father with golden brown eyes, wavy dark brown hair and thin. He's an accountant for a law firm. He inherited the family home upon father's death and sold the tailor shop (which still irks Ianto to this day, especially as it's now an adult bookshop). Cadfael does feel guilty about that. **Wife: **Gwendolyn, married in 1989, they have six children ranging in age from 15 years to 7 months. Cadfael and Gwendolyn are both druids. Gwendolyn has curly brown hair, blue eyes and is curvy (she's had six children after all). Cadfael suffers from stress induced tension headaches and high blood pressure. He meditates in his garden retreat to calm down. He enjoys gourmet jelly beans and disgusting sounding British food such as jellied eels.

**Aldwyn Mabon: DOB: **20 April 1970, curly black hair, grey blue eyes, lean rock climber chiselled. He's a lawyer, can do civil and criminal courts. Mostly civil though. Defended Ianto in '98 when he was arrested for shop lifting. Ianto would have gotten off with a slap on the wrist but got 4 weeks for being rude to the judge—prison time got him out of being belted. **Wife:** Stephanie, married in '95, they have three children. Al and Steph are vegetarians and nature lovers. Al is eclectic pagan and Steph is Wiccan. Stephanie has dirty blond hair, pixie cut and brown eyes and is lean and fit. Al is in training to climb Mount Everest. He likes eggplant parmesan with spaghetti squash as the pasta.

**Geraint Fagin: DOB: **14 May 1972, black hair, green eyes, a healthy 180 lbs. at 6'. He's a doctor specialising in paediatrics and oncology. Geraint decided to become a doctor before Ianto got sick but when he did Geraint decided to specialise in what he does. **Wife: **Gemma, married in '98, they have two children. Geraint isn't overly religious and Gemma is a Scottish witch. She is also a doctor and she and Geraint met at medical school in Edinburgh. Gemma has brown-red hair, green eyes and is petite. Geraint unwinds by catch and release fishing. He's a bit of a prankster, very friendly and gives his patients candy—his siblings suspect it's because he has a buddy in dentistry. He's a meat and potatoes man.

**Edythe Gervase: DOB: **10 March 1974, black hair, blue eyes, average height, light curves. She has a PhD in psychology. She decided on this career because she was fascinated by the way her siblings' minds work and she was always a good listener. **Husband: **Jean-Paul LeBlanc, married in '98, they have twin daughters. Edie worships the Goddess and JP finds it easiest to believe in everything. They met at a mutual friend's wedding in DC when JP was finishing his anthropology internship. JP is tall, chiselled, brown eyes and hair. Edie is very protective of her siblings especially the younger ones—she has a mother bear attitude. She gives her patients manicures to put them at ease if they want. She likes her husband's jambalaya.

**Drystan Brogan: DOB: **10 March 1974, black hair, blue eyes and he looks like Gawaine from BBC's Merlin. He's an actor, does a lot of Welsh TV. He chose acting because that's what he loves. **Girlfriend: **Nina Jackson, very early in their relationship. Drys is very sexy, he wasn't always so, when he was a kid he was a bit of a geek. He was obsessed with role playing and recording home movies. He also made movies with friends. He has directed episodes of Welsh soap operas. He has a relaxed attitude but knows how to rough it up when the situation calls for it. He wears contacts. His favourite food is cake of any sort (jogging every day helps keep it off).

**Gwillym Arthur: DOB: **30 May 1976, dark brown hair, green eyes, 6'5" and a muscly 240lbs. He's a detective inspector and very good at it. He chose to be a cop because he thought they were cool and he wanted to make a difference. He heads a special unit of the Cardiff police that investigates supernatural phenomena, i.e. vampires, magick and ghosts (though he would prefer to stay away from haunted houses—that's why he has underlings). **Wife: **Anwen, married in '98, they have three children. Gwill is a druid and Anwen is basic pagan. They met at a Merlin festival in Northern Wales. It was love at first sight and a bit of a fairy tale romance. Anwen's parents (mother mostly) disapproved of her pagan interests and the entire Jones family. Anwen is the sister of Rhys Williams. Now their mother ignores the pagan thing. Gwill does not like his mother-in-law and refers to her as a nasty old hag. Gwill is very brave but he hates bats. He is a gun fan. He loves his wife's cooking and has an on-going love affair with doughnuts.

**Rhiannon Carys: DOB: **15 January 1978, average height, black hair, brown eyes and I'd call her pleasantly plump. She's a part-time shop clerk and a house wife. Her siblings all say she could do better. **Husband: **Johnny Evans, married in '99, two children. Every single one of her siblings wonders how Johnny passed muster with their father but apparently he did. He's a mechanic and a typical Welshman. He has no problem with his in-laws' beliefs because he does love Rhi. They were married after Cadfael Sr. died and perhaps that's why Rhi didn't seek a more lucrative career. Rhi is known as Mistress of the Dip because she's very good at making dips.

**Gavin Ian: DOB: **18 August 1979, blackish brown hair, brown eyes, about the same build as Ianto. He has a high degree in math and is a teacher. He has always loved math and chose to be a teacher so he could get kids to love math too. He was recently fired though for drinking on the job and he has yet to find another post. **Partner: **Christopher Charleson, they will have their civil partnership ceremony on 4 July 2007. They met after Nain Kylia died, Christopher saved Gavin from a mugging outside a bar. Gavin was the match for Ianto's bone marrow transplant in 1990 and takes great pride in it. He is very protective of Ianto and Ianto occasionally feels smothered. They were closest growing up though because their birthdays are only a day apart. Gavin is rather fond of Altoids.

**Gwenora Ceri: DOB: **15 July 1981, petite, dark brown hair, grey blue eyes. She's a chef at a Cardiff restaurant. She loves to cook, that's why she chose it. She's also quite good at cooking for large numbers of people so she's considering starting her own catering company. **Boyfriend: **Jim Morgan, he's a Harvard graduate from Boston. They met when he was touring the UK and he decided to stay. Gwenie worships the Goddess and because Jim is a historian he pretty much has a whatever attitude when it comes to religion. Gwenie liked to treat her younger brother like a doll, because of this Ianto has a chronic fear of glitter and lace. Her favourite food to make is cheeseburger soup.

**Do I really have to describe Ianto to you? I think we know who he is.**

**Now back to the story:**

* * *

"Okay, what's wrong Ianto?" Gwill asked after they ordered and were waiting for their food.

"What makes you think something's wrong?" Ianto filled his cup with a mixture of Coke, Sprite and Dr Pepper.

"We're at a fast food" Gavin said "and you want to go eat in the park. Do you know what Tad fed us when he told us you were sick? Oh gods, you're not out of remission are you?"

Ianto blinked "What? No, of course not. But it is about Tad."

Their food was ready before Gwill or Gavin could ask him to elaborate. Once back in the car however, it was a different story.

Normally Gwill would begin eating his French fries (they had no right to be called chips) right away but instead "What about Tad?"

Ianto sighed "It's a bit more than that actually." He'd best tell them while still in a moving vehicle "I found out something over the weekend; what happened to Tad, it had to do with that house we explored."

It's a good thing Ianto had been driving because the other two would have slammed down the breaks. As it was their mouths hung open, they both grew paler and Gavin's hands started to shake.

Then finally at the same time they said "What?"

Ianto took a breath "I am sorry but we're going to have to talk about the house and tell the others what happened. The whole story this time."

_The house was a run down boarded up Victorian, the garden was over grown and the fence was rotted and collapsed. Nobody lived there anymore but the people in the neighbourhood occasionally reported strange noises to the police, thinking of course that criminals or homeless people had taken up residence. The police would investigate but never found anything, except for the occasional animal tracks in the dust—at least that's what the reports said. _

_But someone must have owned the house because it was never torn down and estate agents stayed away from it. Kids would sometimes dare each other to run up to it and knock or peek through a crack in one of the boards, but about halfway up the walk they would always freeze and turn back. They couldn't even bring themselves to pick up rocks and toss them at the house. It was the case for everyone; nobody could get closer than halfway up the walk._

_Nobody that is, except for the three youngest Jones boys. There wasn't a thing on earth that could scare the brawny cop wannabe and druid in training, Gwillym and Gavin and Ianto were sceptical to say the least when it came to ghosts._

_The year was 1996, the day was October 30__th__, and it was late, dark and storming. If there was anything Ianto hated (other than spiders that is) it was thunder and lightening. It was just such a storm._

"_You're insane, Gwill. I hope you know that" Ianto said as the three of them stared up at the house from the street._

"_I agree completely" Gavin stated._

_Gwill ignored them and started towards the house "Come on then, lads."_

_Ianto and Gavin looked at each other, sighed and followed. They stopped when he did, at the halfway point. Ice cold shivers ran down Ianto's spine._

_Gavin put a hand on Gwill's shoulder "You okay there, Gwill?"_

_Gwill shook his head as if to clear it and took a breath "yeah, fine, let's keep going" he kept his torch pointed in front of him but the light wavered—his hands were shaking. So were Gavin's and Ianto's._

_Ianto didn't want to keep going, there was something suddenly very eerie about that house. His brothers kept moving forward though and he wasn't about to stay out here by himself. "Isn't this illegal though?" Ianto said as they reached the front steps, the house loomed before them "Breaking and entering?"_

"_It's only illegal if we get caught" Gwill responded gruffly._

"_And you wanna be a copper" Gavin muttered in English._

"_What if there really are criminals and homeless people in there?" Ianto asked, trying to find a reason not to go in._

"_Do you have something against criminals and homeless people?" Gwill arched an eyebrow._

"_Well criminals certainly."_

"_Yeah" said Gavin "what if there's a meth lab in there and we all get blown up?"_

_Gwill sighed heavily "If you two want to stay out here then by all means. If you're too cowardly to explore a harmless old house, something that Tad-cu Taliesin did all the time…" that did it and Gwill knew it. The one sure fire way to get a Jones boy to do anything was to imply that he was a coward while invoking the name of Tad-cu Taliesin the bravest man any of them had ever met. _

_Gavin huffed "You son of a bitch."_

_Gwill smiled "Funny, I seem to remember us having the same mother but then I still believe you and Ianto were found in a cabbage patch."_

"_And you were found in a dung heap."_

…

"You're insane Ianto" Gwill said as they found a bench in the park "I hope you know that."

"I agree completely" Gavin nodded "why the hell do you have to bring up that mess? We swore we'd never speak of it again."

"I know" Ianto sat down "and I am sorry. Please hear me out."

Though they looked like they'd rather be doing anything else, Gavin and Gwill sat on either side of him.

"Thank you. I told you about Hermes," at their nods he continued "at his trial I met Arawen."

"The lord of the dead" Gwill said "did he tell you about Tad?"

Ianto shook his head "No but he let me talk to someone who did. As a reward for my loyalty to Hermes he said, he let me visit with Tad-cu Taliesin."

"He did?"

"Yes, he was the only one who could talk to me. Nain Kylia is still considered freshly dead and as such can't make such appearances and as I never really met Tad-cu Ifan…"

"What about Tad?" Gavin asked.

"I'll get to that. First of all Tad-cu sends his love to everyone. He also told me that Mam is still alive but he couldn't tell me how to find her."

For a few moments all that could be heard was the chirping of birds. Gwill took a big slurp of his soda "That's nice to hear but what does that have to do with Tad?"

"Nothing I don't think but you needed to know. Jack's doubling his efforts to find her. We have to concentrate on Tad."

"What do you mean?"

"Taliesin said that Tad's soul is in trouble, that it has to do with that house and only the ten of us can save him."

…

_Ianto flinched at a flash of lightning "Can we just get this over with before the storm hits?"_

_Gwill ruffled his hair "That's the spirit" he tried the door, it opened instantly "hmm, I wasn't expecting that."_

_Gavin shone his torch over the house "All the windows are boarded up. Why isn't the door?"_

"_Someone probably undid it already" Gwill shrugged._

"_Yeah" Ianto shivered "like meth heads and homeless people."_

_Gavin quirked an eyebrow "What's wrong with homeless people?"_

_Ianto swallowed "Nothing, it's just sometimes they're crazy and don't like it when others invade their space."_

_Gwill shone his light inside and stepped on the threshold "Are there any meth heads or homeless people in here?" he shouted in English "hello!" his voice echoed back._

_Ianto was ever so glad he hadn't had anything to drink since before he last went to the bathroom._

_Gwill looked at Ianto and Gavin "I think it's all right to go in. Come on, lads" he stepped through the door._

_Ianto gulped and felt Gavin's hand in his "Don't worry baby brother," he said reassuringly "I won't let anything happen to you."_

"_Didn't you say that the time we went to the beach…"_

"_Hey, it's not my fault you couldn't keep up."_

"_I was six!"_

"_I found you though didn't I?"_

_Gwill's voice came from within "Come on you two!"_

"_We're coming, don't get your knickers in a twist" Gavin called back "Come on, Ianto let's get this over with" They entered the house; Gwill was waiting for them just inside the door._

"_Where…uh…where should we start?" asked Ianto._

"_Down here, then we'll go upstairs" Gwill said._

"_Phew" Gavin waved his free hand in front of his face "Gwill, did you let one?"_

"_No" Gwill wrinkled his nose "why do you always assume it was me?"_

"_Because it usually always is" Gavin then looked at Ianto "Oh, baby brother what have you been eating?"_

"_He who smelt it dealt it, Gavin" Ianto said this in English because quite frankly it sounded better that way, at least in his opinion._

"_I didn't though, maths geniuses don't fart."_

"_You do so; you fart in your sleep."_

"_Do not, that's Gwill that does that."_

"_He doesn't live with us anymore."_

_Gwill stepped between them "Children, stop it. Anyway, it's not a fart smell; it's more like something rotting. Probably just some animal that crawled in here and died. Now, come on, someone's bound to see us if we stand in the door chin wagging." He started down the front hall. Gavin and Ianto followed. Ianto glanced at his watch "Gwill, just so you know if Gavin and I aren't home before Tad gets back from poker then we're gonna be in serious trouble."_

"_Why? You don't have to go to school tomorrow do you?"_

"_Gwill, you know that's only because Tad doesn't believe we should have to on Samhain. He still wants us home at a decent hour; you know how he worries, especially about Ianto."_

"_And we don't know how long Gwenora's gonna cover for us" Ianto said._

"_Don't worry, I'll take the blame if I have to" Gwill turned a corner. The floor creaked and outside thunder boomed._

_Ianto yelped._

_Gavin put a hand on his shoulder "Just thunder, Ianto, nothing to be afraid of."_

"_Yeah" Gwill agreed "The gods are having a bowling match."_

"_I'm thirteen not three, Gwillym" Ianto spat._

"_Then why are you afraid of thunder?"_

_Ianto didn't have an answer for that. _

_They came to the first room; it looked to Ianto like any room in an old empty house would look—very dusty. There wasn't any furniture in it, just a fire place. Outside thunder boomed and lightning flashed and it began to rain. Ianto bit his lip "Can we go home yet?"_

"_Not till we're done exploring" Gwill answered._

"_Don't be scared, Ianto. Even if this place is haunted, ghosts can't really hurt you, at least that's what I've been told" Gavin said._

_Gwill nodded "That's right."_

_Suddenly there was a loud crash from somewhere above them. Ianto screamed and clung to Gavin "What was that?"_

_Gavin's torch light started to waver; he whacked it till it was steady "Thunder?"_

"_That didn't bloody sound like thunder!"_

_Gwill took a deep breath "It came from upstairs, maybe it is a ghost."_

_Gavin coughed "That smell's worse and do you feel that? It's like there's a breeze in here."_

"_It's a __drafty__ old house. Honestly, why are you two freaking out on me? I thought you were the sceptical ones."_

_Ianto's whole body shook "I just don't think we should be in here, Gwill. What if it collapses on us?"_

"_Sceptics and Catholics always get possessed first," Gavin muttered. _

"_We'll be…shhh, do you hear that?"_

_Gavin and Ianto listened; there was a sound coming from the ceiling above them. It sounded like singing._

Don't you ever laugh as the hearse goes by,

For you may be the next to die

_Ianto clutched Gavin's arm tighter "Can we go now? Please?"_

_Gwill swallowed "Let's go upstairs. If it's not a ghost, I have Tad's gun if necessary."_

"_You have what?" Gavin squeaked "How the bloody hell did you get hold of Tad's gun? He keeps it in the safe."_

_Gwill shrugged "So I may have borrowed it without his permission."_

"_He's going to kill you if whatever's up there doesn't and Ianto, you're cutting off the circulation of my arm!"_

"_Sorry" Ianto loosened his grip and Gavin pulled free completely._

"_Come on" Gwill led them out of the room and they found the stairs. The front door was in sight, still open._

_Ianto licked his lips "You know, as I recall Tad-cu always said that a truly brave man isn't afraid to admit when he's afraid. So, I'll wait outside, thank you. Have fun, haze me later" he ran outside into the storm, more terrified of the house than the thunder and lightning. The door slammed shut behind him. What? He stopped running and turned around, he certainly didn't close the door and his brothers wouldn't close it would they?_

_Ianto had stopped running at the halfway point. He stared at the door in terror, knowing he should go back, try the door, and make sure his brothers were alright but he couldn't move._

"_Ifan Carwyn Jones!"_

_Ianto froze even more if that was possible—he knew that voice anywhere. He turned around slowly and sure enough his father was walking towards him from the street. "Noswaith dda, Tad" was all he could say._

…

"Why all ten of us?" Gavin sputtered after a moment "it was just the three of us who went in there in the first place."

"I'm afraid Tad-cu Taliesin didn't elaborate on that point. We didn't exactly have a lot of time."

"Why should Tad's soul be in trouble? All he did was save us."

"Maybe that's why" Gwill said quietly.

…

_Cadfael Taliesin Jones Sr., even though he was only 5'10 and very thin, was still a sight to be reckoned with, especially with a stormy night sky as a backdrop. His long dark wavy hair whipped about his face in the wind and his brown eyes seemed to glow gold in the torchlight and flashes of lightning. When he reached Ianto he placed his hands on his hips and looked down at the then only 5'5' thirteen year old boy "Your sister told me where you were. Would you like to tell me why you're here?"_

_Ianto couldn't take it anymore, he wrapped his arms around his father and sobbed "I'm sorry, Tad…Gwill wanted to…there's something wrong with that house and I think they're trapped, I didn't close the door…it closed by itself."_

_Ianto felt more than heard his father sigh. Cadfael hugged Ianto to him and rubbed circles on his back "Why do you think I came after you?" he said gently "I've heard about this house. That Gwillym, I swear he's just like your grandfather."_

_Ianto sniffed "I shouldn't have run out."_

"_Don't say that. You did the right thing, leaving that house." Cadfael released Ianto but held on to his hand "now, let's try and get your brothers. It's just Gwill and Gavin in there, right?"_

_Ianto nodded "and whatever's haunting it."_

"_Don't you worry about that, ghosts can't really hurt you."_

_Ianto took a breath "I really don't mean to tattle or anything but I think you should know: Gwill has your gun."_

_Cadfael sighed "I figured somebody had, I checked before I left the house. Remind me to leave it to him in my will. Mind I don't know what a gun can do against a ghost."_

_It wasn't so bad walking back towards the house with his father holding his hand._

"_So," said Cadfael "the door closed of its accord?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Why did you go in there in the first place?"_

_Ianto took a breath, loyalty to his father winning over loyalty to his brother "Well, Gavin and I didn't want to go in, because there might be criminals and stuff in there but Gwill brought up how Tad-cu Taliesin used to explore old houses."_

_Cadfael let out a frustrated sigh "Oh, if your grandfather weren't already dead I'd kill him. Him and his bloody 'misspent youth' stories, I swear, he was worse than your Nain Kylia is with her fairy tales" they reached the door. Cadfael tried the door handle—it was stuck. The door wouldn't open "well then, for some reason I figured it would do that."_

_Cadfael kicked at the door but still it wouldn't budge "Fuck" he swore "Come on, we'll try around back."_

_Ianto gulped "Can't we just call for them or something?"_

_Cadfael looked like he was considering it and then said "I suppose we can try that first but if they don't answer then we have to go in. Deal? Come on Ianto, you're a young man, not a child and I'm not leaving you out here by yourself" that statement was a bit of a contradiction but Ianto decided not to point that out._

"_Deal" Ianto nodded; there really was no point in arguing with his father._

_Cadfael pounded on the door "Gwillym! Gavin! Can you hear me?" he shouted._

_There was no response other than the howling of the wind._

_Cadfael pounded harder "Gwillym Arthur Jones, I don't care if you are an adult, you are in such trouble! I have a belt and I'm not afraid to use it, boy!" That was certainly true, Cadfael believed in corporal punishment, but he rarely carried it out. Normally, the worst punishment one of his children would get would be a slap or two on the bum or cheek and grounding. It all depended on the severity of the crime. Cadfael had to be really angry to threaten the belt; Caddy, Geraint, and Gwillym were the only ones who'd ever done something to warrant the belt before and five strikes was the highest Cadfael would go. The worst the girls ever got was confinement to their rooms._

_Cadfael sighed heavily "Times like this, Ianto, I really wish your grandfather were here. Come on then, around back." _

_Ianto stayed close as they made their way to the back garden, it didn't help matters that the storm was worse "Tad, are you upset with me?"_

"_Disappointed mainly, I thought I gave you specific instructions to stay inside tonight."_

"_I know; I'm sorry. It's just Gwill can be very convincing."_

"_What have I told you about listening to him when he gets these wild ideas?"_

"_To not, I'm sorry."_

"_Don't worry about it; right now, we have to get your brothers."_

_There was a loose broad over one of the back windows. Cadfael wrenched it off. He picked up a rock and used it to remove what was left of the window glass. "Gwillym! Gavin!" he called again. Still no answer._

_Ianto stared through the window, not wanting to go in "I wish Tad-cu was here too."_

"_Yeah; don't even get me started on how your mam's tad would have handled this situation" he shuddered, "scary man, that Ifan Davies. Hated me, he did. Well, let's go in" Cadfael went in first and then helped Ianto through._

"_Oh come on Tad, what would Tad-cu Davies have done?"_

_Cadfael sighed "I'll explain it to you in two words: guns blazing. Now, where did you last see them?"_

"_At the base of the stairs; we were in a room before and we heard the Hearse Song."_

_Cadfael arched his eyebrows "Really? Well, I don't blame you for running out. Gwillym! Gavin!" They made their way to the staircase._

_There was a loud thump above them followed by the wind howling stronger and faster through the house. Then there was what sounded like a gunshot._

"_Stay here, don't move" Cadfael told Ianto and he sprinted up the stairs._

_Ianto looked to his left and to his right "Uh, I'd really rather not."_

…

Ianto sighed "You both know there's more to it than that. We have to call a meeting and we have to tell the others. All of it and maybe together we can figure out what to do."

Gwill rubbed his temples "All right but later tonight or tomorrow and since it's your idea you can bloody well let everyone know."

That was not a task Ianto was looking forward to but it had to be done "Fine, I'll let you two know when we have a set time."

"Good, now take me back to the station."

"And I" Gavin said "would like to go home and work on invitations. I have to get them in the mail by the start of next month."

Ianto snapped his fingers "That reminds me, you and Christopher need to talk with me about your tuxedos. I need to get working on them soon."

"We can come over tomorrow" Gavin sounded more cheery, clearly glad for the distraction "would you like to help with the invites or do you have to go back to work?"

"Oh that's the other thing I wanted to tell you two first, I've decided to resign."

…

* * *

The next night…

The Janto Household (as Hermes had come to call it) found itself with an over abundance of children.

"How exactly did we get stuck babysitting twenty children?" Methos took a sip from a flask Hermes had previously not known existed.

"I'm not a kid" said the oldest one of the lot, Cadfael III, apparently he'd overheard them "I'm almost sixteen."

"And I'm almost fourteen" said his younger brother Devin.

"Then" Hermes told him "you can do as your mother said and help watch the younger ones. Teach the boys rugby or something."

Caddy 3 however went back to his book and Devin was playing Guitar Hero with a couple of the younger kids

"Anyway" Hermes said to Methos "Ianto is with his brothers and sisters and their respective partners and spouses are spying on them. That is why we are watching eighteen children plus two teenagers. At least I'm assuming that Jack and his fellow Jones partners are spying on them. He didn't say."

"That's because you are an incurable gossip and he doesn't want it to get back to Ianto."

…

* * *

Somehow all ten of them managed to comfortably fit inside their tad's old office.

"That was nice of Gwendolyn to take your kids out of the house" Aldwyn said to Cadfael.

Cadfael nodded "She understands we need all the privacy we can get. I imagine she's gone over to one of your houses" he looked round at everyone. "All right Ianto, before we get to this haunted house thing I'm curious as to why you've decided to quit Torchwood."

They all looked at him, he had a feeling this would be the first topic of the night. He crossed his arms "First of all, can I just say that you are all horrible for never telling me about it."

"We've this discussion Ianto" Cadfael said "It was for your own good."

"Didn't bloody work, did it? I joined Torchwood anyway."

"Ianto's right" Gwenora said "We should have told him. It wasn't right to keep him in the dark especially once we all knew he was in Torchwood." She hugged him "I'm sorry Ianto."

Ianto sighed and patted her back "It's okay, I understand. You all promised Nain Kylia."

Geraint leaned back "He just likes giving Caddy a hard time. So, Ianto, why'd you quit alien catching?"

Ianto took a breath, he had everyone's attention "Part of the reason was that video Cadfael showed me, the things that Tad and Nain Kylia said. I realised I don't want Torchwood getting under my skin anymore than it already is. But the main reason is that I want to be around for Cory and Rini, see them grow up, spend more time with them. Working at Torchwood I don't get to see them as much as I'd like."

"So what will you do now?" Rhiannon asked "are you going to be a house husband?"

Ianto chuckled "For awhile I suppose. I want to stay at home for a bit and figure that out. If Gav and Christopher's tuxes turn out well I might open my own shop sometime, maybe serve coffee too."

Cadfael nodded with a smile "That's a good idea. All of Tad's patterns and things are in the attic. He'd want you to have them."

"Thanks. But until then there's housework to do. I'm going to renovate the basement. There's a room down there, Jack says used to be Tad-cu Ifan's office and another room that'd be good for guests and plenty of space for entertaining."

"I remember that" Al said "but after Ifan died Nain didn't like going down there so much so the whole basement became just for storage. You gonna do anything with the attic?"

"It's going to remain an attic till further notice. I'm going to start on the basement soon because when we find Mam, she's going to live with us. It should be her house anyway."

"Sure she'd even want to come back?" Geraint asked quietly.

"Nain Kylia always said that Mam would never choose to leave us like that and I believe her. If Torchwood's technology can't find her then there's something else going on. Torchwood can't detect magick."

"So, you think that maybe she was kidnapped by an evil sorcerer?" said Drystan.

Ianto shrugged "I don't know, I'm just speculating. I mean if we haven't found her by now and she is alive, it's got to be something not normal."

Cadfael sighed deeply and looked at the life–size cardboard cut-out of their tad that they always had at these meetings "Tad liked to blame Torchwood and Jack for Mam's disappearance and he never admitted it but he knew Nain was right. Mam didn't choose to leave us. She had every intention of coming back."

"Well this is a change" said Edythe "you were always saying she left us on purpose."

"Maybe I was wrong. Listen, if Mam is out there then she has nineteen grandchildren who have the right to know her. Twenty if you include Rini."

"And I do" Ianto said.

Gavin suddenly laughed "What do you think Mam is going to think of you and Jack?"

That was a damn good question "I don't know her that well now do I? Let's cross that bridge when we come to it, okay? Now, can we talk about him?" he pointed to the cut-out.

"Why on earth did we have that made?" Drystan wondered aloud.

"Because we are a strange, strange family" Gwill said "just listen to the music we have playing."

Whenever they had family meetings they turned on the stereo and it was an odd mix of songs. Right now, 'Chilly Down' from Labyrinth was playing and before that was a song from Sesame Street. The Joneses were quite fond Jim Henson.

"I think that's why all ten of us have to fight the evil in that house and save Tad's soul" Ianto said suddenly understanding, "have you ever heard of a set of children more loyal to their father?"

"The Osmonds maybe" said Geraint.

"Anyone normal?"

"Who says we're normal?"

Ianto rolled his eyes "You know what I mean."

Cadfael went to stand by the cut-out "All right, three youngest Jones boys tell us about this damn haunted house."

Ianto, Gavin and Gwill looked at each other a moment. Then Gwill sighed "We may as well start at the beginning."

As one Ianto and Gavin said "It was Gwill's idea."

…

* * *

"Did you plant the device?" Jack asked Gwendolyn, Cadfael's wife.

"Yes I did" she nodded "when I went in to water the fern. That's where I put it actually. I hope that's all right."

Jack nodded "That'll be fine" he turned on his laptop "gather 'round everyone, let's see what they're talking about."

Jack and all nine of Ianto's sibling-in-laws and future sibling-in-laws were in Gwill's family room. They had to know what their spouses and partners were talking about. They couldn't risk listening at doors or windows so Jack had Gwendolyn bug Cadfael's office. It wasn't Jack's idea, by the way, to spy on them—it was Aldwyn's wife Stephanie. She's the one who called the meeting they had that morning and they all agreed after Jack told them what the Joneses might talk about. After all whatever concerned their beloved Joneses concerned them as well and spying was likely the only way to know what was going on with them.

Besides Jack also wanted to hear the rest of that damn haunted house story.

J.P. flopped on the couch "If Edie finds out about this, she'll kill me. No worse than that, she'll make me sleep with the dog after he's eaten leftover beans."

"Rhiannon would do worse than that" Johnny, Rhiannon's husband muttered.

"I don't even want to think about what Ianto would do to me" Jack said "so let's hope they don't find out. Come on, the signal's coming through." He turned on the volume.

The story of the haunted house had just started and they all knew the beginning of it.

"What is it about this family" Stephanie wondered "that draws us all to them? And what keeps us with them? I can't tell you the amount of times Al's done something that would have driven anyone else away. Gwendolyn, Gemma, J.P., Anwen and Johnny, I'm sure you can all say the same."

Gemma, nodded "They can be very non-communicative, it takes a lot to get Geraint to open up."

"They get that from their grandfather Davies" Jack said.

"They also can be stubborn pains in the arse and can be bloody intent on solving a problem themselves" said Anwen.

"And controlling" Gwendolyn said "but in such a way they don't realise it."

"Another thing they get from Ifan Davies" Jack mumbled.

"And when they do tell us secrets" J.P said "they expect us to keep them which we seem to do without question."

"A trait I appreciate" Jack told them. All these people knew about Torchwood and about Jack's inability to stay dead and he trusted them all not to tell outsiders. It was very strange how he automatically trusted them all, perhaps it was part of the hold the Joneses had over all of them. The hold or spell, whatever it was had even latched itself onto Nina who'd only been seeing Drystan since the 13th and it was now the 22nd, so only nine days, it must have been love at first sight. Jack still wasn't sure how he felt about that.

"Whatever it is" said Jim "I'm not against it. I love Gwenora and I want to spend the rest of my life with her."

"Have you asked Cadfael yet?" J.P asked.

"Not yet, I want to find the right ring first. Do I really have to ask his permission?"

Every other man in the room responded "Yes."

"Jack, Christopher" J.P said "you two are lucky you didn't have to go through the Interrogation with Cadfael Sr."

Jack rubbed his jaw (something he did every time Cadfael Sr. was mentioned) "I don't even wanna think about it."

The Interrogation was something all male suitors of the Jones children had to go through after he asked permission to marry the Jones of his heart. The man in question had to sit in a torturously uncomfortable chair surrounded by all available brothers and uncles of the Jones desired and asked several probing questions. This was all done without the Jones-to-be-proposed-to's knowledge. Jack was surprised he passed muster.

"Oh god" Christopher groaned "tell me about it. I had to go through it with Ianto there. He was the worst of them, 'cos you and me used to date if you could call it that," he said to Jack.

"Hey, Gavin was no picnic either."

"Shhh," Nina hushed everyone, she'd actually been paying attention to the conversation the Joneses were having "they're getting to a new part of the story."

It was true; Gavin and Gwill were talking about what they did after Ianto had run outside and before their father had come to the rescue.

…

* * *

Back at the Janto house…

The children had been rather antsy and rambunctious (expect Cory of course) and driving Hermes and Methos up the wall. But now they were all peacefully eating Methos's homemade ambrosia. It wasn't actual ambrosia of course but it was pretty damn close to the genuine article with whipped cream, honey, orange slices, almonds, pomegranate seeds and some secret ingredients Methos refused to divulge, though Hermes was pretty sure there were kiwis in it.

"You amaze me" Hermes told him as he ate his own serving "and it tastes exactly how I remember it."

"Well I figured if it could calm a six year old godling down it could do the job for twenty Welsh kids."

Hermes yawned "And even Cory likes it. Where'd you find all the ingredients?"

"I admit I had to special order some of them, of course when I say that I mean, Miss Jeanie just happened to have some in her Tardis. Actually ordering would have taken too long."

"Well it's a good thing no one's allergic to kiwis" Hermes sat down with another yawn.

Methos looked at him "Those aren't kiwis. I believe the English translation is goosenberries. Of course the direct translation is 'sleep berries' or 'babysitter's delight' would be good as well" but Hermes was already asleep and so were the other children.

Methos flopped into the recliner "I am so bad. You really should have seen the difference" he said to the sleeping Hermes "of course your dear son Autolycus made a similar mistake once. That was a funny episode."

…

* * *

_When the door slammed shut without Ianto having grabbed it, Gavin was going to go after him but Gwill stopped him._

"_Let him go. He's just not ready for this kind of thing yet" he pointed his torch up the stairs._

_Gavin stared at him "And what makes you think I am?"_

"_You're older than he is."_

"_So?"_

"_Come on Gav, don't you chicken out on me." He started up the stairs which squeaked loudly._

_Gavin would have rather been fishing in Scotland but he followed Gwill anyway—gods know what kind of trouble he'd get into if left on his own. "But Gwill, you did see the door close on its own, right?"_

"_Just proves that the house is haunted."_

_They reached the landing._

_Gwill took a breath and shone his torch at an open room to their right "Let's look in here first."_

_The wind blowing through the house was getting worse and they both heard what sounded like moaning._

"_Are you sure? Ianto's right, we really shouldn't be in here."_

"_Don't be such a chicken" Gwill grabbed his arm and pulled him into the room. The door immediately slammed shut on them._

…

"Wait a minute" Ianto had been pacing around the room when he saw something strange in the fern pot. He picked it up and showed everyone "we've been bugged."

…

* * *

Every single one of the Jones' spouses froze. Jack began to sweat.

"Crap" he muttered.

"I could have sword I hid well" Gwendolyn said "I didn't think anyone would see it."

"We are so dead" Christopher groaned.

"Why would we be bugged?" came Rhiannon's voice over the speakers.

Ianto sighed heavily "So many reasons" then there was a loud screech and the signal went dead.

"What the hell was that?" J.P asked.

Jack rubbed his temples "Ianto stepped on the device." Then Jack's mobile rang, it was Ianto. Jack took a breath and answered "Tiger baby."

"Don't Tiger baby me" Ianto said "be honest Jack, who else is with you?"

"How'd you know it was me?"

"The device had the Torchwood insignia on it. I'm on speaker, I suggest you do the same."

Jack did so and confessed "all ten of us. And it was Steph's idea."

"No it wasn't" Stephanie said quickly.

"We don't care who's idea it was" said Al's voice "you all agreed to it. Don't you trust us?"

"Of course we do" said J.P. "but we were worried and we wanted to hear the rest of that story."

"Ianto" Jack said "I know that whatever Taliesin told you has you all on edge and we want to help in whatever way we can. We love you all. You can't shut us out on this."

It sounded like all ten Joneses sighed and then there were mutterings in Welsh. Then Ianto said "All right, we will talk to you individually when we get home. We promise. By the way, where are the children?"

"Methos and Hermes have them."

"All twenty?"

"Yeah, is that a problem?"

Ianto was likely shaking his head "I'm not sure who to be sorry for."

…

* * *

Later that night…

Ianto paced the length of their bedroom. He'd also decided to tell Methos and Hermes.

"The thing is, we're not sure exactly what happened."

"You're not?" Jack asked.

Ianto shook his head "It's a bit of a blur after Tad and I re-joined Gwill and Gavin. We know there was a demon of some kind and it wanted our souls, at least we're fairly certain. Tad spoke with it privately and we all left. If Tad's soul is in trouble, we're in the way of thinking that he sacrificed himself to save us. Because he was in perfect health, he shouldn't have had a heart attack. The ten of us have to defeat the evil in that house to save Tad's soul. We have to do research though, find out what exactly is haunting it."

"I might be able to help" Methos said "since Hermes is grounded, I can try getting a hold of my father and see if he'll tell me any more. But Hermes, did you have any idea this happened?"

Hermes shook his head "No, I'm sorry. Ianto I swear I would have told you if I'd known anything."

"I believe you, it's all right. This may be something the children of Cadfael Jones Sr. have to do themselves."

…

* * *

**We'll find out more later, I wanted to get this posted since it's been two months. After at least three reviews I'll post the next chapter which I already have written. It's just a fun little chapter about Jack and the other American males of the family.**

**BTW, if there are any typos, I'll probably catch them when I read this to my mom later and I'll go back and fix them. However, if you see any please let me know.  
**

**Please review. They mean the world to me.**

**TTFN**


	52. Yankees

**Hey gang. I said I was gonna wait for a few reviews before posting this chapter but...**

**This is going to be my last update of anything for awhile, probably a long while if at all. I don't know if I'll even finish the Gambit and Endgame epilogue. I have to concentrate on other things, more important things like finding a job and my original fiction. Family stuff has come up and...**

* * *

Bob McGee: Aunt Llewella's husband. American born, Irish parents. Grew up in Oakland. In his 50s. He has a Bay Area mentality w/Irish temper. He loves California. He first got his Ph.D. in entomology and later forensics. He writes papers and is on the lecture circuit when he's not teaching. He's 6', has salt and pepper brown hair, brown eyes, glasses and wears tropical shirts.

Douglas Samuels: Uncle Dylan's partner. From Dallas. Comes from rancher stock. In his 40s. Texan pride. He is a successful author of gay romances and westerns. He is 5'11", has brown hair, green eyes and he often wears a cowboy hat and boots. He feels Brokeback Mountain has too much scenery and not enough sex. (Don't we all?)

Jean-Paul LeBlanc: Edythe's husband. Grew up in New Orleans, he's Cajun. In his 30s. He's an anthropologist and teaches at Cardiff University. He's 6', has brown hair and blue eyes and he tends to dress like Indiana Jones (and yes, he's aware Indiana was an archaeologist).

Christopher Charleson: Gavin's partner. From Savannah, Georgia. In his early 30s. He does not speak to his family. He has both Southern and Yankee pride. He's a Lt. in UNIT, he knows tech almost as much as Tosh. He is 6' has brown hair and hazel eyes and when he's not in uniform he wears a leather jacket.

Jim Morgan: Gwenora's boyfriend. From Boston. Old family money. In his 20s. Harvard grad, historian. He's currently living on dad's money till he lands a job. He is 5'11, has brown hair, brown eyes and often wears his letterman (track and field).

Jack Harkness/Franklin Jackson Jr.: Come on, really?

For the past week the children of Cadfael and Iseult (as they were called throughout the entire family) were working their arses off researching and trying to figure out just what was haunting that house and what was responsible for taking their father. They planned on saving his soul by June 17th, what would be his 60th birthday and it also happened to fall on Father's Day that year.

They were also of course still living their own lives in the process. Ianto was organising the basement and working on Gavin and Christopher's tuxedos for example and that was in addition to becoming a stay-at-home dad. Jack had insisted he stop coming into the Hub especially as Methos had volunteered to help out while he was in this reality. To top it off though, Ianto was still having trouble sleeping and according to the other spouses (whom Jack kept in contact with regularly) so were the other nine Joneses.

Today though, Jack was having lunch with just the other American male spouses, including the spouses of Ianto's aunt and uncle. It was apparently the idea of Bob, husband of Ianto's aunt Llewella.

...

Jack and Christopher were riding together. "Where are we eating?" Jack asked—Christopher was driving.

"Uncle Dylan's house, he's out with Auntie Llewella today."

"Do we have to call them that?"

"No" Christopher shook his head "but it helps in reference."

"Good point. So, Dylan's partner Doug, he's a writer, right?"

"Yep, writes gay romances and westerns, from Texas of all places. And Bob, Llewella's husband is an entomologist or something."

"How many are gonna be there?"

"Six including us. Gavin says their aunt Bronwyn's husband is American but they live in San Diego. And considering he's a marine, I don't think he'd come to this shindig."

They pulled up to a nice house in one of the richer areas of Cardiff.

"I take it" Jack said, waving a hand at the house "that Doug is paying for this."

"If you'd read more you'd know that Douglas Samuels is very well known in the gay community. His books are very popular, even with straight women."

"My kind of women."

Christopher rolled his eyes and got out of the car. He brought out a box that was in the back seat, it was his job to bring the hotdogs. Jack brought chocolate chip cookies he had sweet talked Stephanie into making for them. They had invited her too because she was American but she had no desire to spend the afternoon with a bunch of American men (or idiots as she said). Nina felt the same.

Doug opened the door "Howdy fellas, come on in. Bob's already here and JP's fetching Jim."

He first led them back to the kitchen to set down their food and then to the den where Bob was apparently watching a baseball game on the internet. They introduced themselves and then Christopher stared at the monitor as if hypnotised.

"Baseball" he said dreamily and sat down.

"See now I'm confused" Jack said "first you argue with JP about football at the Yule party and now you're drooling over baseball. I thought you didn't like sports."

"I don't but it's baseball" he pointed to the monitor "looks like Cubs and Phillies."

Jack sat down, he did like the Cubs. They weren't winning but it was only the 4th inning, things could change.

Doug sighed heavily "We're not gonna watch these Yankee teams all day are we?"

Bob leaned back "It was the first game I could find. Personally I don't care who wins. I prefer the A's myself."

"I care" Jack said "Cubbies are my team."

Christopher tore his eyes away from the screen "You know they ain't gonna win."

"You don't know that."

Bob muted the sound "So I heard you two used to date before you discovered the spellbinding Joneses."

Christopher huffed "If you could call it dating. He got annoyed with my American pride."

"There is nothing wrong with saying aluminium" Jack said defensively, enunciating the word.

"It makes you sound Canadian. You are not Canadian."

"How can it make me sound Canadian? I don't say 'eh' after every sentence."

Bob looked at Doug "I wasn't aware Georgia and Illinois were mortal enemies."

The doorbell rang "Saved by the bell" Doug sighed and went to answer it. Moments later he led JP and Jim into the room.

Bob stood up "At last, my fellow straight men. They," he pointed to Jack and Christopher "were arguing about baseball and pronunciation. You know what that means."

JP flopped onto the other couch "We all been in this country too long. Good thing Clark ain't here, huh Bob?"

Bob narrowed his eyes "Don't get me started."

"Who's Clark?" Jim asked "and why is it good that he's not here?"

Bob sat back down "Clark is the husband of my sister-in-law, Bronwyn."

"And Clark" said JP "is from San Diego. Bob is from Oakland."

"Oh" Jim said knowingly "rival teams."

"Not just rival" Christopher said "from what I hear the Chargers and Raiders are bitter and violent enemies. At least their fans are."

Bob glared at him "Raiders will get first billing in my presence."

JP sighed, "So Bob, this little get together was your idea. Wanna explain why?"

Bob took a breath "Ah, down to business. I just thought it would be fun if we Yankee boys hung out sometimes. We could swap stories and stuff."

JP looked at him "Stopped paying US taxes didn't you?"

Bob leaned back "Officially and legally, yes; I no longer have dual citizenship and am officially an ex-pat."

"And you're feeling homesick?"

"Maybe."

"I have a question" said Doug "that only three of you will be able to answer."

"Which three?" Jack asked.

"You'll figure it out when I ask it but let's move into the kitchen and get the grub cooking."

Once the hotdogs were heating up and the condiments were spread out Doug asked his question "What was so great about Cadfael Sr.? This entire family seems to idolise him."

The question was directed at Jack, JP and Bob, the only three of the six present who had met the man.

"That is something I often wonder myself" Jack popped a pickle in his mouth "had a hell of a right cross though." He rubbed his chin "It still hurts after twenty-two years."

JP rolled his eyes "All in your head Jack."

Bob sat at the kitchen table "My late brother-in-law was the oldest and he became head of the family after Taliesin died back in '92. Llewella says that when they were growing up he was the one you could go to for anything and he wouldn't judge and he took his role as oldest brother seriously. Nobody messed with his younger brothers and sisters and got away with it. I got on well with him after a fashion. He was a good man but he could be a conniving son of a bitch."

"That's for sure" Jack muttered.

"And he wasn't afraid of anything," JP said. "The Ten say Taliesin was the bravest man they ever met but they don't include their father in that pool. Cadfael Sr. was in a class of his own."

"No joke there" Bob agreed.

Jim looked at Jack, Bob and JP "how did you all meet him?"

JP leaned against the fridge "Well let's see now: it was 1997, so ten years ago now, good lord. Anyway, Edie brought me home for the first time to meet and have dinner with the family. I had to meet her daddy first before I could be subjected to her brothers. Well he sent Edie upstairs and took me into the kitchen…"

1997 Jones Kitchen

"Have a seat" Cadfael indicated the kitchen table.

JP sat.

Cadfael remained standing "So I understand you are an anthropologist."

"Yes sir, I am."

"Does it pay well?" he poured himself some delicious smelling coffee.

"Well sir, it varies from place to place but I'd say it does yeah" JP couldn't help but sniff the air.

Cadfael took a sip "Smells good doesn't it?"

"Yes sir, it sure does."

"My youngest makes it, seems he's inherited his mother's gift. Would you like some coffee?"

"Please sir."

Cadfael, instead of pouring JP a cup, set a jar of instant in front of him "Here you go. Help yourself."

JP looked up at him "This is instant."

"I see that Ph.D. is serving you well. Yes it is instant" he put his hands on the table and bent down to be level with JP "Listen Yank, you are dating my first-born daughter, perhaps one day you'll understand my motivation. You may have real coffee when and if I decide you are worthy. Is that clear?"

JP gulped "As new glass, suh. And by the way, suh, I am not a Yank, I am a Southerner—Cajun to be precise."

…

Jack laughed "What is with them and coffee?"

JP sighed "I don't know but I tell ya, later that night, Ianto the little angel, slipped me some real coffee. I got his approval first."

"He liked your accent" Jack said.

JP nodded "I know it. The boy was fascinated by Cajuns and said I reminded him of Gambit of the X-Men. I was quite flattered. He's my favourite X-Man too and it's not because he's Cajun."

Nobody believed that.

"That is so cute" said Christopher "Ianto had a crush on his sister's boyfriend."

Jack grinned "I'm going to use that later."

"I guess I'll tell my story next" Bob bit into his hot dog "Since I'm sure Jack's is more entertaining."

Jack was fixing himself a Chicago-style dog "That depends, mine does involve Ifan Davies."

"I know, I've met him and believe me, yours is going to be more entertaining. Okay, I met Cadfael Sr. back in 1974, he was already married and father of five. I had been vacationing with my folks in London and that's where I met Llewella. I met her family about a month after that. I had fallen hard and fast for that Welsh girl. Anyhow, I had already had the preliminary meeting with Taliesin and Bronwyn the elder or Mr and Mrs Jones as I had to call them, for about fifteen years, but I digress…."

…

Mrs Jones seemed to like him well enough and Mr Jones seemed to be holding off on judgement for awhile. That was fine but now Bob had to meet Llewella's siblings, the youngest one, Dylan was cool with him but then he was only twelve and didn't seem too concerned with who his sister dated. Then there was Llewella's older brother Iestyn who was in the British Army, he was a little more scrutinising and had muttered "what is with the girls and Yankees?" Older sister Bronwyn brought her US Marine fiancé Clark who despite being from a different part of California made Bob feel more at ease. Though the "good luck, brother" with a sympathetic shoulder pat was a little unnerving. Bronwyn's twin brother Berwyn who was in the Royal Navy couldn't make it to this dinner but apparently he wasn't the one Bob had to worry about.

It was the oldest brother, Cadfael whom he had to pass muster with. He brought his wife and five children to dinner, all ranging in age from four months to six years. Bob decided that Cadfael's wife, Iseult was a saint and what's more, she didn't even look like she'd given birth to five children in so short a time.

"So" Cadfael said to him "what do you do, Mr McGee?" the man was about five inches shorter than the imposing Taliesin and somehow managed to be more imposing.

Bob had the distinct impression that they were trying to drive him away, well he wasn't going to let that happen. He grew up near a fault line dammit; he didn't scare easily "I just completed my Ph.D. in entomology."

"How lovely" said Iseult "that's the study of insects, right?"

"Yes, ma'am" Bob nodded.

Cadfael then said something to his wife in Welsh who left the room. He then took Bob aside "McGee, that's an Irish name isn't?"

"That's right. My parents are Irish actually, moved to Oakland before I was born. That's not a problem is it? I know Celtic Mythology says the Irish and Welsh are ancient enemies."

"We are but I won't hold that against you. I can't, my father-in-law is half-Irish. Now listen to me, McGee, I have ties to…certain things I cannot divulge and if you hurt my baby sister I will make sure not even bugs will find your body. Is that understood?"

Bob swallowed "Most understandable thing I have ever heard."

"Good."

…

Jack was amazed "That hypocrite, he was using Torchwood to his advantage. Oh if Ifan had ever found out his son-in-law was using Torchwood as a threat…." Jack shook his head "no wonder he sent Iseult out of the room. So I guess it's my turn. Well it was before Cadfael Jr. was even born, very early in Cadfael and Iseult's relationship."

1966, the Torchwood Hub

Jack was leaning back his chair when Ifan shouted for him. For some reason Jack had yet to learn not to fall out of his chair when his boss shouted for him.

Jack got to his feet just as Ifan approached him "Yes boss?"

Ifan regarded him coolly "Sleeping on the job again?"

"Of course not boss."

Ifan dropped a photo on his desk "I have a task for you. Follow this young man and gather information. His name is Cadfael Jones, born 17th of June 1947."

Jack picked up the photo "Kind of cute, any reason why?"

"He wants to court my daughter and whatever you do, do not let Iseult find out."

Just then Iseult approached them with coffee; Jack quickly shoved the photo in his desk "You got it boss."

Iseult had a dreamy look on her face "Here's your afternoon coffee Tad" she handed a mug to Ifan "and Jack" and one to Jack.

Ifan took a sip "Iseult darling, this is not coffee this is cocoa."

She turned bright red "Oh my goodness, I'm sorry. I didn't realise."

"Get your head out of the clouds, darling."

"I'll get you some coffee" she took back both mugs and scurried away.

"I was fine with cocoa" Jack said "but she's got it bad, huh?"

Ifan just glared at him.

Jack held up his hands "All right, consider it done."

…

Jack went up to the kitchenette where Iseult seemed to be focused on putting coffee in the coffee maker. "I know that look" he said to her.

"What look?"

"The look you had on down there. Why Izzie dear, have you found yourself a fella?"

Iseult giggled "Is it that obvious?"

"Oh yes. So what's his name?"

"Cadfael" she sighed "I used to think he was an idiot, him and his brothers. The Jones boys have always been a little wild."

"Known them long?"

"Their tad's friends with mine."

Jack decided not to register his surprise that Ifan had friends outside of Torchwood "So what changed your mind about Cadfael?"

"He saved my life. Someone was trying to steal my handbag last week and Cadfael came running out of the ice cream shop and fought him off. He's matured a lot since I last saw him."

"Did you tell your father someone tried to rob you?"

"Yes of course and I'm fine so don't fret."

"What does Cadfael do for a living?"

"He's apprenticing at his uncle's tailor shop."

Jack blinked "A tailor? You fancy a tailor?"

"He's very talented. Now if you'll excuse me, Jack, I have work to do."

…

Jack started following Cadfael that evening. So far from what he could see, Ifan had no reason to be concerned. Cadfael Jones seemed the ideal match for Iseult, he was brave and had a commanding presence, qualities Ifan himself possessed. And if Ifan was friends with Cadfael's father then why the hell did he want Jack to follow him?

Jack followed Cadfael home and listened outside the kitchen window as he talked with his father, Taliesin. Jack knew that name. Hadn't he met a Taliesin Jones back when he was still mortal during WWII?

"How was your day, son?" Taliesin asked. They spoke in Welsh, good thing Jack understood it well enough.

"Normal for the most part except a man in an RAF coat keeps following me. In fact I think he's outside now."

Son of a bitch. The kid knew when he was being followed or Jack was just terrible at it.

"Want me to check?" Taliesin asked.

"No thanks, I can handle it." A chair moved.

Time for Jack to leave. He got up a little too quickly though and tripped over a garden hoe. Was there irony in that?

When Jack got to his feet again, Cadfael was standing there pointing a gun at him, a Colt Revolver by the looks of it.

"Why are you following me?" Cadfael's voice and hands were steady. Of course if he was a tailor, his hands would have to be steady.

Jack took a breath "Hello. I'm Captain Jack Harkness."

"I didn't ask for your name, I asked why you were following me."

At this point Jack wasn't sure who was more intimidating, the kid with the Colt Revolver or Ifan with his Colt semi-automatic. Not wanting to ruin another shirt, Jack decided to give the kid an answer and remove the blame from himself, "I was ordered to."

Cadfael did not lower his gun "Ifan Davies sent you." It wasn't a question. "You can tell him that I am not a threat to his daughter, that he can trust me. I will never hurt Iseult. You may also tell him that if he sends you again to do his dirty work, I will shoot you like the Yank dog you are."

Resisting the urge to pull out his Webley Jack just said "You don't even know me so don't insult me and I think you just got yourself in Ifan's good graces." With that he walked away.

…

"He never called me a dog" JP said "swamp rat though but that became his pet name for me. And he only called me a Yank the once."

Doug opened the fridge "Anyone not an alcoholic or who doesn't live with one want a Bud?"

Jim immediately raised his hand, as did Bob.

"It's not baseball and hot dogs without beer" Bob said.

"That's for damn sure" JP agreed.

Jack and Christopher looked at each other.

"Do you think they would even smell American beer?" Jack asked "'Cos I sure as hell can't get drunk on it."

"Probably not but Jack we both took pledges of solidarity, it would be bad if we went back on it."

"That's true."

"And you already broke it once, you can't do that to Ianto again."

"I know, I know. Doug, you got any root beer?"

"I got Sarsaparilla."

Christopher nodded "We'll take Sarsaparilla."

Suddenly Jack heard a sound at the kitchen window. He signalled to the others who heard it too. He picked up the coffee pot and said loudly "You know guys, if we're not gonna drink this coffee, we should just dump it."

"Yeah" said Doug "out the window though, the plants could use the caffeine."

Jack opened the window wider and stuck the pot out. There was then the sound of scrambling away.

The six American men went outside to see a pile of Joneses, three men and three women who were trying to untangle themselves.

There could be heard such mutterings as "Get off me", "what _have_ you been eating", "get your face out of my boobs" and "get your boobs out of my face."

Once they were untangled and upright the Americans regarded them with arms crossed and they called their Welsh partners all by their first and middle names.

"Ifan Carwyn."

"Gavin Ian."

"Gwenora Ceri."

"Edythe Gervase."

"Dylan Thomas."

"Llewella Enid."

Jack tapped his foot "Don't you have more important things to be doing?"

Ianto laughed nervously "Yes sirs."

"We were curious" said Llewella.

Bob sighed "Llewella, you are fifty years old, aren't you too old for this?"

"You don't have to remind me."

But the six Americans could not stay irritated. They were each kissed by their respective Welsh partners.

"You can have a Budweiser if you want" Ianto told Jack.

"So can you" Gavin told Christopher.

"We'll be going now" Dylan said cheerily "enjoy the rest of your day."

The Americans stared after them for several moments.

"What just happened?" wondered Jim.

Jack shook his head "Part of that Spell of theirs I think."

Bob sighed "Clark was smart for staying in the Marines."

"The Spell doesn't hit him as much" JP said "he's not of European descent like us. We're more susceptible to Celtic magick. I think he's got some counteractive mojo of his own working for him."

"Lucky bastard" said Doug.

They all nodded as they went back inside to their hot dogs and beer.

* * *

**I am sorry but you understand that sometimes other things take priority.**


	53. The Alley

**I know, it's been months since I updated this story and I'm so sorry but…you know, things. I've been more into Immortality to be honest and my original fiction. I had to force this chapter out of the muses, so I'm not sure I'm feeling it. I mean I had the plot line in mind for some time but I'm not sure about how I set it up.**

**But I wanted to get something posted so you know I'm still thinking about this story. So please let me know what you think.**

**Disclaimer: Hermes said I could.**

**Rating: M for mature content.**

**Chapter title: The Alley**

* * *

Gavin slammed the book shut with a frustrated sigh "There is absolutely nothing wrong with that fucking house other than the fact nobody wants it."

"Nothing official anyway" Ianto said "and will you be quiet, we're in a library."

Gavin rubbed his temples "Sorry, I'm just going crazy Ianto. I guess everything's getting to me."

"You have a lot of your plate. We all do. You've got ceremony plans and we're all working on saving Tad."

"And I don't have a job. Probably won't have till next term and that's if anyone hires me which I doubt because they'll all know I was drinking."

"Don't be such a pessimist, Gav. Someone will hire you. Maybe even your old job if you show them you're better. Though why they sacked you in the middle of term I don't get."

"Apparently I was a bad example. That's the other thing, I can't even be left alone or else I'll drink."

"That's why you need to do rehab. Look, come to the meeting with me today, the major won't mind. At least do the outpatient program."

"Maybe" he grumbled "I need a fag. We done here?"

…

Ianto joined his brother outside for a cigarette—he didn't allow it in his car. "We shouldn't be smoking either" Ianto said "Tad-cu Ifan died of lung cancer."

"Well you should quit anyway. You're technically in remission. I don't see why you tell people 'Oh I'm perfectly fine 'cos I had a bone marrow transplant'. It could still come back, Ianto."

Ianto sighed and put out his cigarette "You're right but you should quit too and you know it. Come on, let's get to the meeting. Major Jackson doesn't like tardiness."

…

After the meeting Ianto always stayed to chat with the major for a bit.

"So" the Major sat on his desk (so that's where Jack got it) "I'm glad you came today Gavin. Will you be starting the program?"

"I'm thinking about it. After the ceremony when things calm down a bit though. I'll talk to Christopher."

"See that you do. It's a good thing to admit you need help. Now, tell me how are you boys doing today?"

"All right," Ianto said.

"Now, now, don't lie to me sonny. You both look like you haven't been sleeping well. And I bet that whatever's bothering you is bothering your brother, Drystan too. Saw him the other day when he took Nina out on a date. Movie stars shouldn't have dark circles under their eyes, tabloid fodder."

Ianto stared at him "Are all Jacksons this perceptive?"

The Major grinned "You bet."

"Then again, now that I think about it Jack can be rather obtuse sometimes."

"Well that boy's got issues, I'll tell you that for nothing."

"I would hope so, I would hate to pay for something I already know."

Gavin choked back laughter.

The Major rolled his eyes "Now what's bothering you boys?"

"You wouldn't believe us if we told you."

"Sonny, my son and grandsons catch aliens for a living. You've introduced to me a grounded god and a character from another reality, I think I'll believe anything these days."

Ianto sighed and shared a look with Gavin. "All right" and they told the Major everything.

Major Jackson was silent for a long moment afterwards "That sure is amazing boys, I'll say that. Anything's possible I guess. Is there anything I can do?"

"Just pray, Major, that's about all anyone can do."

…

* * *

Methos was helping Hermes find his own flat because he didn't want to keep imposing on Jack and Ianto. Both men said it was no problem but Methos could tell Jack was lying through his teeth and would be happy to have Hermes out of the house.

Methos himself would stay with Hermes till his holiday was over. It was easier on everyone that way. Jack and Ianto didn't have any beer and Methos needed his beer.

However flat hunting with Hermes was bloody tiresome. The boy insisted on checking every nook and cranny and testing how easy it would be to break in. By doing this, Methos was sure rents would be raised for security improvements.

Methos sighed heavily in the fifth flat of the day "Hermes, you are aware that you cannot currently afford something like what Owen has. So why bother looking at the swankier places?"

"Comparison shopping Papa, it's what I do. I think I'll go with that first one we looked at."

"But you picked that lock easily."

"Yes, but it does have a buzzing system and I could always add another lock—I asked the landlord."

"Wouldn't you rather a nicer neighbourhood?"

"There's nothing wrong with that one."

"But it's like a Welsh Compton."

Hermes waved a hand "Ah, how can you compare Splott to Compton?"

"I call 'em like I see 'em."

"When was the last time you got to know Splott?"

Methos scratched the back of his head and didn't answer.

"I didn't think so, I'll be fine Papa. Let's go back and tell the landlord."

The flat was empty so Hermes was able to move in two days later. He didn't have any furniture though. So in an effort to save money and avoid borrowing from Ianto and Jack he bought a couple of bean bag chairs and futon mattresses.

It was a good thing Methos could sleep anywhere. But could Hermes? The boy was used to feather beds and 5,000 thread count Egyptian cotton. And clouds, he sometimes slept on clouds.

* * *

…

Fathers' Day was coming up in two weeks. They didn't have Fathers' Day the last time Hermes lived with his father. What did one get one's father for Fathers' Day? Hermes's sons didn't honour the day, the little brats, so Hermes couldn't use that as an example. He just had to get his father something. What would Methos like?

A sampler box of various beers perhaps?

Mind this was assuming Methos would still be here on Fathers' Day. Hermes hoped so, he wanted more time with his dad.

Hermes poked his head in the kitchen where Methos was making dinner "What do you want for Fathers' Day?"

Methos smiled at him "If I'm still here to celebrate it with you, that'll be enough. What would you like?"

"I'm not your father."

"No but you are the father of my grandsons. I think that warrants a present."

"But they're all idiots and I'm a terrible father."

"I'm sure that's not true. You must have learned something from me."

"Do you know how busy I was? I couldn't be the father they needed. That's why I avoided sleeping with women as much as possible, I didn't want any more children to worry about."

"Yes I've heard of those all male sex parties you threw in your back garden."

"How'd you hear about that?"

"You started them before I was banished."

"Yeah but how'd you hear about them?"

"Do you really think your mother and I were exclusive? I was…"

"Wait but you got all huffy when you found out she was with the Dagda after you were banished."

Methos sighed "Before that we had a deal, I could be with other men and she could be with other women."

"Oh." Hermes shuddered and shoved the unwanted images out of his head.

"Anyway, I was chatting up a potential bed mate who was a talker. And he told me about these wild parties he'd been to and when he told me he was with you I had to turn him away. I was not about to have someone my son had first."

Hermes decided he didn't like this conversation "How's dinner coming? Do you want me to get anything at the market?"

Methos smiled and rolled his eyes "We could use some more beer."

"Are you out already?"

"I like beer."

"Are you sure you're not an alcoholic? On the show every time Methos is drinking something it's always alcohol."

"Oh come on."

"You wanna watch all 21 episodes with you in it and prove it?"

"21 episodes out of six seasons, I think I'm offended."

Hermes sighed "How long till dinner's ready?"

"Fifteen minutes or so."

"Okay, I'll go get your beer" Hermes grabbed his wallet.

"All right but be careful, okay? I don't want you taking that shortcut."

"Why not?"

"Have you not read the paper? There's a serial rapist targeting young Caucasian men with dark hair. He attacks after sunset in dark places. I want you staying in well-lit populated areas."

Hermes rolled his eyes "I'll be fine, don't worry" he left. There was a small market about five minutes down the street. If he took the shortcut through the alley anyway, the slightly creepy alley.

Hermes was halfway down the alley when he felt someone came up behind him and press something hard into the small of his back. What the fuck?

"Don't say anything or your dead" the voice was male, rough and obviously fake-British.

Hermes put his hands up to indicate that he was unarmed as the man rifled through his pockets with his free hand. This wasn't happening, Hermes was the god of thieves, he wasn't supposed to be robbed. If this was one of his "friends" idea of a joke, they were going to pay for it.

The assailant shoved Hermes towards the wall, "On your knees."

"On my what?"

"What'd I say?" he hit Hermes hard in the side of his head, so hard he fell to the ground.

Hermes looked up at his attacker, of course he was wearing a ski mask. This was unacceptable. Hermes kicked the gun out of his hand "Do you have any idea who I am?" he leapt to his feet, intending to fight back but this mortal body wasn't fast enough.

The bad guy grabbed him and hit him against the wall. He was taller and bigger than Hermes "I said on your knees" he growled.

"Why?"

The guy held him with one hand and began to undo his belt with the other. "Scream and I'll kill you."

Oh. Oh crap. So not exactly being robbed then.

"No way" Hermes tried to struggle but this dude was too strong for him and he threw Hermes to the ground on his stomach.

* * *

…

Methos was worried. Hermes had left forty-five minutes ago, he should be back by now. It was quite feasible he got distracted but he knew when dinner was going to be ready.

He'd waited long enough, Methos called Hermes's mobile, "Zorba the Greek" came from the living room. Great, that meant Hermes didn't have his phone with him. Methos called Ianto next.

"Hello" Ianto answered.

"Ianto, it's Methos, is Hermes with you?"

"No, why? Is everything okay?"

"I don't know. He left about 45 minutes ago to run down to the market. He should be back by now. Have you seen the news about the serial rapist?"

"Yes, Jack doesn't want me out by myself after dark. He seems to think a criminal wouldn't be able to spot the difference between Celtic and Caucasian."

For crying out loud "That is exactly what Ifan would say, I don't need that. This is no time for jokes."

"I'm sorry. I'm sure Hermes is fine, you know him, he's like a racoon."

"I know but I just have a bad feeling. I'm going to look for him."

"All right, keep me posted."

…

Methos got to the alley quickly where he saw a huddled form on the ground against the wall. He ran to it, "Hermes!"

Methos kneeled and felt for a pulse, there was one "Hermes? Can you hear me?" Hermes was beaten pretty badly and his trousers had been pulled down. "Dear Goddess." He shakily pulled out his phone and dialled emergency services, at least he meant to, his fingers felt numb.

"Methos!" Jack came skidding into the alley "I heard you shouting" had he been shouting? "Oh god" he knelt by him and pulled his own mobile, he said words into it, Methos couldn't quite hear. "Methos?" Jack shook his shoulder "Methos snap out of it!"

* * *

…

Jack had been in Splott hunting a weevil when Ianto called him. He told him Hermes had been late getting home and asked him to check the area around the market near his flat.

Jack neared the alley when he heard Methos screaming. He ran to it and saw Methos kneeling by Hermes who was seemingly unconscious. He called an ambulance and Owen. Methos was apparently in shock.

"Methos?" Jack shook him "Methos, snap out of it!"

Methos blinked "Jack? Oh goddess. Why is it so cold?"

"It's gonna be okay, the ambulance is on its way."

Owen arrived exactly when the ambulance did. "What happened?" he hopped out of his car.

"Hermes was attacked" Jack explained as he was loaded into the ambulance. Jack held Methos steady "ride with him. Methos and I will follow."

"Take my car, I don't want to leave it in this place."

"Just go."

"I should go with Hermes" Methos's voice was hollow.

"Let Owen look after him, the police will take your statement at the hospital."

* * *

…

As soon as Jack called and reported what happened, Ianto took the kids to Anwen and rushed to the hospital.

He got to the waiting room and went straight for Jack "How is he?"

"Still in surgery."

"Surgery?"

"Broken ribs, concussion, some internal bleeding," Jack was using the tone of voice he used when he didn't want to deal with emotions. He thought it made him sound strong but it really made him sound cold.

"Will he be all right?"

"Don't know yet but probably. I doubt the gods will take him back yet. He," Jack indicated Methos "hasn't stopped pacing since we got here." They had been there half an hour before Jack called.

"Methos?" Ianto approached him.

Methos stopped pacing and wrapped his arms around Ianto.

"Uh, okay" Ianto tentatively patted his back.

"I know you're not him, but could you pretend for just a minute?"

Ianto relaxed and hugged Methos, rubbing his back soothingly. He glanced briefly at Jack who looked a bit uncomfortable. He gave Jack a look that said, 'what else am I supposed to do?'

Methos sniffed "Do you have any idea what it's like to know that your child was violated and you couldn't do anything about it?"

"Yes" Ianto answered.

Methos pulled back and looked at him "What?"

"Cory's mother's boyfriend, it's how I got custody."

"I'm sorry, I had no idea."

"Didn't think you did."

Owen came into the room and they all looked at him expectantly. He took a breath "They stopped the internal bleeding, there wasn't much. They've wrapped up his ribs and they're gonna keep in the ICU over night for observations. If all goes well, he'll be in recovery tomorrow."

"Is he awake?" Methos asked.

"He's sleeping. But you can go back and see him since you're family. I've got a question, Methos. In the ambulance, he woke up and repeated something in Greek a few times before he passed out again. He said," and Owen said something in Greek "what does that mean?"

Methos actually laughed. "That's what he's concerned about?"

Owen gaped at him "Why are you laughing? Your son was just raped."

Methos caught his breath "And I will kill the bastard responsible" his eyes were cold and Ianto had no doubt he meant it.

"But what did Hermes say?" Owen asked.

Methos smiled "He said 'I'm the god of thieves, nobody steals from the god of thieves'."

"Llewellyn?" said a woman's voice from behind Ianto.

Methos looked and his eyes widened in recognition.

Ianto turned and saw a tall and curvy woman with long black curls and bright green eyes. She wore a simple green dress. Ianto knew her as Maia, Hermes's mother.

"Maia" Methos ran to her and took her in his arms.

* * *

…

Methos couldn't believe his eyes when he saw his wife walk into the waiting room. It had been so long since he'd seen her last but he'd know her anywhere.

"Maia" he ran to her and wrapped his arms around her "oh goddess, Maia" he spoke in Greek.

She was in tears "I heard what happened and they said I could come and be with you and Hermes."

Methos held her "Oh my love" he found he couldn't say anything else.

…

The two of them went to the ICU to sit with Hermes.

"Do you know why this happened?" Methos asked his wife.

"No" she said "it shouldn't have."

Methos rubbed his temples "It's my fault, I shouldn't have had him go to the market."

Maia put a hand on his shoulder "It's not your fault, Methos."

He put his hand over hers "I told him to stay out of that alley."

"You know he likes to do things his own way."

"I know, he gets that from your father."

She shoved him "He gets it from you and you know it."

"How is Atlas by the way?"

"He's well. He sends his love."

Methos scoffed "That'll be the day." Atlas had never really liked Methos.

"Mama?" Hermes had woken up.

Maia held his hand "I'm here baby."

"Why are you here?"

"Zeus said I could stay with you and your father for awhile."

Methos moved to the other side of the bed "Maybe he's not such a jerk after all. How are you feeling, son?"

"Like I've been hit by a Mac truck. Did that guy take my wallet? Because I am not happy about that."

Methos sighed "You are honestly more concerned that you were robbed?"

"It's the principal of the thing."

Methos rubbed his temples and shared a look with Maia then he said "They found your wallet in the alley, it was just the money that was in it that was missing."

"Bastard" Hermes grumbled.

"Hermes," Maia said "the money isn't important."

"Oh I'm upset about the other thing too. I'm out of shape, I should have been able to defend myself better. It's not fair. This isn't supposed to happen to me. And what is all this stuff attached to me?"

* * *

…

Hermes had to stay in the hospital and worse than that (for him, and possibly the nurses) he had to stay in bed.

Methos brought Maia back to the flat "There's pretty much nothing in here. Hermes wants to save money. When he told me that I had to check his temperature."

Maia smiled "I would too. Were you making dinner?"

"Yeah, I imagine it's gone cold now. It's moussaka or at least it was, probably ruined."

Maia looked around the flat's front room and she waved a hand. In an instant the room was completely furnished in Hermes's preferred style of 'modern'. The sofa was brown leather and overstuffed and it had a matching recliner. The other recliner was Greek blue and embossed with Hermes's caduceus. The coffee table was low with white legs and a glass top—the legs resembled snakes. The television was the newest Sanyo and mounted on the wall. There was an array of plants and knick-knacks, mostly centred around Hermes's tastes—which made sense as it was his flat—but there was some Methos and Maia influences as well. Methos especially liked the family portrait on the wall—they'd had it painted when Hermes was five.

Methos looked at Maia "No fair, you get to keep your powers. You gonna do the bedrooms too?"

"I already have. Would you like to see our room or would you like some dinner?"

Methos wrapped an arm around her waist "Do you really think I'm hungry for food, woman?" he pulled her to him and kissed her lips.

She moaned and parted her lips, allowing Methos to snake in his tongue, reacquainting himself with the taste of her. He moved his mouth to her neck

Maia ran her hands down Methos's back "Methos, don't you… think we should talk about…about what's happened all these years?"

"Hmm, can't it wait?" he inched his way down to her chest. "It's been…so long" he cupped one of her breasts and kissed the other through the fabric of her dress.

"Mmm, ohh, I suppose so. Can we at least take this to the bedroom?"

Methos grinned and picked her up.

…

Methos hadn't felt such ecstasy in…in a very long time. He fit nowhere more perfectly than with his wife. There was nothing better than Maia's delicious quim tightening around Methos's pulsating member. Mind, her mouth around his pulsating member was right up there with it and he also greatly enjoyed pleasuring her as well. It was only fair after all.

Once they were both satiated, Methos noticed their bedroom. It was very much like their old one but with a few modern touches. It was a lot smaller for one and where there should be a hearth across from their bed there was a TV. The bed was also smaller and the mattress felt like memory foam instead of feather and the bedclothes were certainly newer—still dark blue though.

Maia snuggled up against Methos and draped an arm over his chest "You're an idiot," she said suddenly.

"Yes. Why am I an idiot?"

"All those terrible things you did…"

Methos sighed heavily "Do we have to do this now? I don't need a speech from you too."

"I shouldn't forgive you."

"No you shouldn't."

"But I do because I can't stop loving you."

He kissed her forehead "I can't stop loving you either."

"You've learned your lesson. We'll speak no more about it."

"Thank you."

* * *

…

Ares appeared by Hermes's bedside "How are you?"

Hermes glared at him "How do you think?"

Ares sat on the chair "I'm sorry this happened to you. If I had any idea you were in trouble…"

Hermes sighed "I know. Thank you, it's the thought that counts. I think I have some of idea of how you must have felt when those giants kidnapped you that one time?"

Ares arched an eyebrow "You think so? They held me prisoner for thirteen months."

"Well maybe an itty bitty fraction of an idea."

"Did I ever thank you for saving me?"

"Yes."

"I only said thank you. Did I ever do anything for you in return?"

"Not necessary, it's what friends are for."

"Are they moving you to a room today?"

"They haven't said yet. It's still early. Should you even be talking to me?"

"Technically I am not supposed actual contact with you, part of your punishment but I think they'll allow me this. Besides, it's not like anybody pays attention to me."

"I appreciate you coming to see me. It really means a lot Ares."

* * *

…

Methos entered the kitchen to find Ares leaning against the counter.

Ares smiled at him "Morning cousin, long time."

"Indeed, Ares" Methos gave him a smile "What do I owe the pleasure?"

"I was in the neighbourhood, thought I'd drop by and see you."

"That was nice of you" Methos went over to the coffee machine "Want some coffee?"

"No thank you, I can't stay. I think you'll be here a couple months at least."

"That's good to know."

"I'll ask again before you go but when you next see Darius will you say hi for me?" his blue eyes shone brightly.

"I take it he really was a favourite of yours."

"He still is. Even though he hasn't prayed to me in quite some time. I'm also going to ask you to return something of his."

"I can do that."

"Thank you, Methos. I really appreciate it."

* * *

…

At lunch time, Ianto went to the hospital to visit Hermes. He was directed to a private room. The door was opened "Knock, knock" he said as he went inside.

Hermes smiled when he saw him "Hey."

"Hey, I brought you grapes" he held up a bag of red grapes.

"You know the Americans give flowers to sick people."

"So I hear" Ianto sat in the chair by the bed.

"Have the police found any clues?"

Ianto nodded "While he wore a condom, they retrieved usable DND from under your finger nails. You were the first one to fight back."

"I know. He wore gloves too. I don't think he was a national because he was faking the accent."

"And because of that information, it narrows down the DNA banks they have to run it through."

"Good."

"Are you going to be all right?"

Hermes shrugged "I'll live. I might be released tomorrow, if the doctors are satisfied with my progress."

"That's good."

"How's the research going?"

Ianto sighed heavily "Not how we'd like. We haven't any idea as to what's haunting that house exactly. We think it's some sort of demonic entity but we don't know why the house is haunted in the first place. Caddy and Gwill are handling the magick side of things."

"But you all have to work together, don't you?"

"Yes, we're all helping where we can. We plan to fight whatever's in that house the night before Father's Day."

* * *

…

There was just something about her brother-in-law Edie didn't like. She especially didn't like him in the house but Jean-Maurice was JP's twin brother and family was just as important to JP as it was to her.

"How long is he staying here?" she whispered to JP.

He looked at her "He's not even here right now, why are you whispering?"

"It's just…why is he here again?"

"Business in London but he made extra time to see us. What's your problem?"

"It's just, with all that's going on I don't need a house guest right now."

"Is it that or is it because you think he's my evil twin?"

"He is your evil twin."

"Edythe."

"I call 'em like I see 'em. Jean-Paul, can't you feel there's something off about him?"

"Edythe, I admit my brother's got issues but that doesn't make him evil."

* * *

…

Two days later…

Jack hadn't told Ianto that he had Owen collect a DNA sample from under Hermes's nails as well because he wasn't prepared to let him or the police know that Torchwood was taking over the investigation.

He had no problem with letting Methos kill the perpetrator.

With Torchwood's equipment Owen was able to get a result much faster than the police would have. He showed Jack what he found without Methos present. Good thing too.

"No fucking way," Jack said as he stared at the screen "that can't be right."

"That's why I called you in privately. I ran it three times, Jack."

"Why is his DNA even in the system?"

"It's not really in ours because they haven't decided to make immigrants give samples. But the State's had it, he gave a sample to identify his father's remains after Katrina."

"All right, listen don't tell anyone yet, especially Methos. I'll talk to him."

…

Jack went to the university where JP taught a few classes and knocked on his office door.

"Come in" called his Cajun twang.

Jack went in and shut the door behind him "JP, we have a problem."

"Nice to see you too, Jack. What's going on?"

* * *

…

**UH OH. But I'm sure you've all guessed what's going on, at least when it comes to that. As for the haunted house, I haven't even guessed what's going on yet. I have a vague idea but I'm not sure how to go about it.**

**As it stands, I don't know if I'll have it up by Father's Day even though I know I said I would a while ago. We'll see what the muses say.**

**Also I don't know if the ICU is called the ICU in the UK but whatever. We all speak the same language…more or less.**

**Reviews feed the muses.**

**TTFN**


	54. Alley 2

**Surprised? I know I am but I meant it to be quick.**

**Very short chapter but I didn't want it to be long. The next chapter might be though. Not sure when that will be up. But at least this one resolves some things, more or less.**

**Enjoy and don't forget to review.**

* * *

Jack took a breath; he just couldn't believe that JP could do such a thing "Please tell me you have an identical twin."

JP's brows furrowed "Yes actually, I do. Why?"

"Thank God" Jack sank into the visitor's chair, "I didn't believe it was you."

"Jack, you're going to have to explain just what the hell you're talking about."

…

JP was silent for long moments after Jack's explanation.

"JP?" Jack prodded "you okay?"

JP took a shuddering breath and rubbed his temples "I knew he had issues, I just…mon dieu, I guess Edie was right."

"Right about what?"

"Edie's never liked Jean-Maurice, thinks he's my evil twin."

"What do you want to do about this? The police don't have the DNA results yet; unless your brother attacks someone else and leaves his fingerprints…"

"I know, they'll think it was me."

"But listen," Jack said "because Hermes is a Torchwood employee the police are reluctantly letting us help with the investigation. We told them we'd find the guy but they get to carry out justice because of his other victims."

"Do I hear an unless in that?"

"Well, Methos wants to kill the man responsible for attacking his son."

JP's hands hadn't left his temples "God, I don't know what to do Jack. He's in town till Friday, then he goes back to the states."

"Where does he live?"

"Nashville, he's a music producer."

"Okay, I'll check to see if there have been similar attacks there. Try and keep an eye on him, we don't want him attacking anyone else. Tell you what, we can give the police the results and tell them you have an identical twin."

JP sighed heavily "Wait on that, please. You can tell Gwill but…I need to figure this out."

…

* * *

JP had been raised Catholic though he himself wasn't anymore. His father however had been devout. He left work early and went to St. Peter's to light a candle for his daddy.

"What do I do, Daddy?" he asked as he lit the candle. He sat in one of the pews and stared up at the altar.

…

JP got home and found Jean-Maurice in the living room playing monopoly with his daughters. He roughly pulled him up "You stay away from my girls."

"Daddy" asked Ceinwen "what's wrong?"

"JP, what's the matter?" Jean-Maurice said.

"Like you don't know" JP growled.

Edie came out of the kitchen "JP, what's going on?"

"Ceinwen, Claudette, go to your room."

Edie shooed the girls down the hall "Do as your daddy says."

Jean-Maurice shoved JP back "What's wrong with you?"

"That's what I'm asking you. You are a cop's son, how could you?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You attacked the wrong man" JP slugged him "How could you come to my town and pull this shit?"

….

* * *

Edie's panicked phone call had Jack nearly breaking the sound barrier to get to her and JP's house.

He got there to find JP standing over the prone body of who was obviously his twin brother who was on top of what used to be the coffee table.

"He's still alive" JP said shakily "I want him out of my house."

…

JP hadn't moved from where he was standing when Jack got back from taking Jean-Maurice to the police.

"Has he moved at all?" Jack asked Edie.

"No, I think he's in shock. I took the girls to Geraint's house. He hadn't moved an inch when I got back."

"Is his mother still alive?"

Edie nodded "She lives in a retirement community in Baton Rouge. I haven't called her yet. I don't know what to say."

Jack waved a hand in front of JP's face "JP, you in there?" he gently pushed JP onto the couch "JP?" Jack sighed "Okay, I didn't want to resort to this: the Bears are better than the Saints."

JP blinked and sputtered "What? They are not."

"And that's how you get a straight American man out of shock; you insult his team. Are you okay?"

JP shrugged.

"Why did you beat him up?"

"I don't know what came over me."

"Well it's a good thing he's heavier than you. Hermes will be able to identify him by his body type. Are you going to be okay?"

JP shrugged again.

…

* * *

June 15

Jack picked up his dad at the train station. Dwight and Phoebe were still in the States—apparently their mother got them in the summer.

"Hey Dad" Jack hugged him.

"Jack, it's good to see you."

Jack picked up Frank's suitcase "How are things in Chicago?"

"Same old, same old. How 'bout here?"

Jack sighed "I don't even know how to describe it."

"Does it involve headaches?"

"Oh so many."

"What are your plans for Sunday?"

"Nina and I are going to spend the morning with you. Then there's going to be a party at Cadfael's house in honour of the day and Ianto's father's birthday. Then at night I have special plans for Ianto. He has been under entirely too much stress lately and he needs to relax."

"I don't need details."

…

* * *

The next night…

Gwendolyn helped Cadfael into his druid robes "Will you be all right?"

"Of course I will, as long as you stay here. As long as I know you and the children are okay, I'll be fine."

"Promise?"

Cadfael kissed her "Always my love, always."

…

Stephanie tried to shove a bag of cookies into Aldwyn's hands "At least take a snack."

He took it and set it on the table "We won't have time for a snack, luv. I'll eat when I get home."

"How long do you think it will take?"

"No idea."

"Will you call me when you're on your way home?"

"You'll probably be asleep."

"I don't care. Wake me up."

…

Gemma handed Geraint a cup of tea "Do you know what you're dealing with?"

"We won't know till we get there, I'm afraid" he took a sip "You'll stay here, won't you?"

"Why would you ask that?"

"Knowing you and the other spouses…we don't want you in danger."

"We don't want you in danger either."

Geraint put down his tea and took her hands "I know but this is our fight. The ten of us have to do this on our own. I'm as sure of that as I am sure of my love for you."

…

"You can't just expect me to just stay here while you go off and fight a monster" JP crossed his arms "that seems very reversed."

Edythe rolled her eyes "Don't be getting chauvinist on me, Jean-Paul. You know this is something my brothers and sisters and I have to do."

"Doesn't make me feel better. I'm your husband, Edie, I should be protecting you. That's how it works, I don't care what century it is."

Edie kissed him "Aren't you an anthropologist? Haven't there been several matriarchal societies?"

"Men still do the hunting but if you get me started on that you'll be late for your monster fighting."

…

Nina kissed Drystan deeply "Do you think you'll get problems from papa rats?"

Drystan blinked "You mean paparazzi? I haven't had trouble so far. But if we see any photographers and we would, Gwill will just flash his badge or flex his muscles and they'll scurry like the papa rats they are."

"Are you gonna be okay though? Fighting this whatever it is?"

"Well it's not like I'll be by myself. You've nothing to worry about, sweetheart."

…

Gwillym was polishing his druid's staff.

Anwen sat down next to him "When will you be home?"

"Impossible to say, cariad. Think of this as when I'm on any other case."

"I am and I feel the same way every time. I'm allowed to worry aren't I?"

Gwill leaned down and kissed her "Of course you are; wife's prerogative. Listen, if you get scared, take the kids and go hang with Jack. He'll be just as worried as you."

"You're riding there with Ianto aren't you?"

"Yep, wants to save on fuel, man's a skinflint. Gets it from Tad."

"I hope you're not too tired in the morning. The kids and I are making you breakfast, bacon, eggs and hashbrown sandwiches."

Gwill licked his lips "Baby, I'm never too tired for bacon."

…

"It's weird Rhi, why are you doing this?"

Rhiannon sighed "I have too, Johnny. The ten of us have to. You know that."

Johnny took her in his arms "I know that, luv and you know I trust you. I'm just worried."

"I know but I won't be alone. We'll all be fine, don't worry. I should be home in time to fix you breakfast."

"Nah, you'll be tired. I'll make you breakfast."

"But it's Father's Day."

"Doesn't matter, you've been under enough stress lately to be worrying about me."

…

Christopher paced the length of their living room "You Joneses oughta come with a how-to manual."

Gavin laughed "Perhaps a disclaimer as well? Maybe a warning?"

"Definitely a warning and a hell of a lot of Advil" Christopher stopped and sighed heavily "You know I love you, right?"

"Yes" Gavin put his hands on his shoulders "and I love you. I'm marrying you aren't I?"

"You really don't expect me to just wait here and worry while you go and fight a demon?"

"Well, now you'll know how I feel when you go on assignment."

Christopher put his hands on Gavin's waist "You're right, I'm sorry. It's just weird, this whole thing."

Gavin rested his head on his partner's shoulder "I know."

…

"It seems backwards somehow, you going off to fight something while I stay home and knit" Jim said.

Gwenora looked at him "Are you really going to knit?"

Jim rolled his eyes "It's a figure of speech honey. I know this sounds chauvinist but I'm the man and I should be doing the fighting."

"This is different, Jim dear, you know that. This is something my siblings and I have to do."

"I know that. I'll wait up for you, okay."

"You don't have to."

"Well I will. I love you."

"I love you too."

…

Jack grumbled "I can't believe you're making us all stay home."

Ianto sighed "We don't want you following us because we don't want you in danger. We'll be able to concentrate more if we know you're all safe at home."

"Okay, the other spouses I get. But I'm immortal. I could be your wing man."

"Jack please, just do as we ask. I know you're immortal, but I can't stand to see you hurt."

Jack wrapped his arms around him "I know, Tiger but can you imagine what it's like for me?"

Ianto leaned into his embrace "I know but you know only the ten of us can do this."

Jack kissed the top of his head "We'll stay out of your way, but we'll probably end up waiting together."

"That's acceptable."

"I expect you to come home to me."

"With my shield or on it."

"Nope, you are no longer allowed to talk like that. You come home in one piece because I have plans for tomorrow."

"Oh?"

"It's a surprise."

"I have a present for you too."

…

* * *

The ten children of Cadfael Jones stood outside the house they believed was responsible for their father's death.

Cadfael Jr. took a deep breath "All right everyone, we just have to have faith."

They all nodded "Right."

…

* * *

Cadfael Jones Sr. awoke with a gasp. He wasn't sure how but his children must have defeated the demon and Cadfael was allowed to return to his body. He was never actually dead in the first place but they thought he was, so much so that they put him in the family crypt; fortunately an autopsy wasn't performed—that would have killed him.

He got up off the slab and the smell of his dead relatives hit his nose. Now, how to get out of this crypt? The door didn't open from the inside. Oh look, a window—he'd have to break it and crawl out. He sighed, he was too old for this.

…

* * *

**All righty, the next chapter will likely be posted I don't know when. It depends on the muses. But definitely after this Sunday.**

**Please review and let me know how you're liking things. I know people are reading it and I really appreciate that. It means a lot.**

**So, in the next chapter, Cadfael Sr. is going to feel like Rip Van Winkle…and what's gonna happen when he finds out about Jack and Ianto? Jack better get ready to duck. ;)**

**TTFN**


	55. Father's Day

**Mucho gusto with the apologies with the delay. "Immortality" and original fiction have taken the forefront, then there're all these other whacky ideas popping into my head distracting me. Driving me bonkers.**

**Anyway, here we are. Do let me know what you think. Much appreciated.**

**Chapter title: Father's Day pt. 1**

* * *

Cadfael Jones Sr. awoke with a gasp. He wasn't sure how but his children must have defeated the demon and Cadfael was allowed to return to his body. He was never actually dead in the first place but they thought he was, so much so that they put him in the family crypt; fortunately an autopsy wasn't performed—that would have killed him.

He got up off the slab and the smell of his dead relatives hit his nose. Now, how to get out of this crypt? The door didn't open from the inside. Oh look, a window—he'd have to break it and crawl out. He sighed, he was too old for this.

He crawled out into a dark cemetery, it was night or early morning, one of the two. Now what to do? He checked his pockets, nope they didn't entomb him with any money. That was a shame. Who would he call anyway? They all thought he was dead. Well there was one person, the one who Cadfael had enlisted to ensure he did not get an autopsy but if he did as Cadfael asked, he wouldn't remember anyway. He had to get to his children but he couldn't just go up to them and say 'Sorry did I miss lunch?' First he needed to find out how long it'd been because he had no idea and talk to someone who could break it to them gently.

His mother-in-law's house was closest to the cemetery. He'd have to walk.

The sky was lighter and the sun was beginning to rise by the time he reached Kylia's house.

There wasn't a car out front but that was normal as Kylia didn't drive. He went up to the door but before he knocked he saw a newspaper on the doorstep and picked it up. He quickly found today's date: 17 June 2007. Dear Gods. He'd been gone eight years, what's more it was his 60th birthday.

Cadfael sighed deeply, he'd think about it later. He knocked, knowing that Kylia always got up with the sun. Then he stopped, eight years, was his mother-in-law even still alive? He put his ear to the door, there were no sounds of movement so if there was anyone home they may not have heard the door. He looked back at the driveway, there were tyre tracks on it; a car was parked there normally.

He decided to go for it. He knocked again "Anybody home?" he shouted "Hello?" after five minutes there was still no answer. Clearly no one was home. Cadfael had to find out who lived here. There was no name on the letter box. He went around to the back hoping to find the spare key in the false rock. It was exactly where he remembered.

He opened the back door and stepped into the kitchen. He turned on the light and the first thing he saw was the fridge practically plastered in children's drawings. That didn't exactly tell Cadfael anything, Kylia was a very proud grandmother and kept crayon pictures up even though her youngest grandson was a teenager. Well he was when Cadfael saw him last. He figured Ianto would be twenty-three now. Almost twenty-four.

The kitchen he noticed was very tidy. There was a coffee machine on the counter. Cadfael opened the cabinet above it and sure enough there was a canister in it. He took it down and opened it, ground coffee and it smelled like Ianto's work. He replaced it precisely where he found it.

Then he got a closer look at the fridge. The drawings were all signed either Rini or Cory, mostly Rini though. One picture in particular caught his attention, it was of a little boy and girl standing between two men. One of those men was wearing a long bluish-grey coat.

What? That wasn't a child's depiction of who he thought it was, was it?

Amidst the drawings Cadfael spotted a spelling test that received full marks, the name in the corner was Cory Jones.

Who was Cory Jones?

Cadfael took a deep breath and exited the kitchen into the dining room. There wasn't much in there that could tell him who lived here because like the kitchen it was clean and organised. Deciding not to bother looking he moved on to the family room.

This was where he found out who lived here.

"Oh my God" he went over to the fireplace where a half a dozen photos rested. One was his and Iseult's wedding picture, one was of his parents and one was of Iseult's parents. There were the two little kids, he figured lived here, the boy looked just like Ianto. Did that mean…? Then there was a picture of that idiot Harkness with his arms wrapped around who Cadfael was sure was Ianto.

What the hell?

The front door opened and before Cadfael could hide, Ianto walked into the room. He paled considerably and dropped the newspaper he was holding. "Tad?"

"Bore da, Ianto."

…

* * *

Jack was driving the Torchwood SUV with the kids, they and all the other spouses and kids had been waiting at Cadfael's house.

Ianto was perturbed to find the newspaper unfolded on the doorstep, that paperboy was getting lax. He went inside and walked into the family room where he saw his father, dressed in his funeral clothes but looking very much alive.

Ianto dropped the paper "Tad?"

"Bore da, Ianto" he said.

"Aren't you dead?" well, Ianto didn't know what else to say.

"I got better. It's a long story but I am alive, thanks to you and your brothers and sisters, I imagine."

Ianto took a breath and stepped closer to him. He took hold of his tad's wrist and felt for a pulse. There was one and he was warm. Definitely alive. "We thought we were fighting for your soul, nobody said anything about bringing you back to life—not that I'm not glad…wait, how do I know you're who you say you are?" He stepped back.

"I got in through the backdoor, there's a spare key kept in a false rock by the potting shed, which you apparently don't use. Also I gave that idiot" he pointed to the picture of Jack "explicit instructions to stay away from my family so what exactly is the meaning of this?"

Ianto sighed "I don't think now's the time to get into this."

Tad sighed "Right you are."

"But I will not deny he is an idiot."

Tad's lips curved just a trifle upwards "Well at least you're not blind."

"I don't understand, how are you alive?"

"That's just it, I was never actually dead in the first place."

"But I saw you die, we put you in the crypt."

"You didn't see what you thought you saw. And yes, I was in the crypt, that's where I woke up, had to break out. I knew one day you kids would have to face the demon and I knew you would win."

"So killing the demon woke you up?"

"Yes and the apparent loyalty you kids have for your old man."

"I don't get it, Tad" this really was making Ianto's head hurt "you were sick, weren't you? Does this have to do with what you did when you came after me, Gav and Gwill in '96?"

"Yes."

Ianto put a hand to his head "This is confusing."

"I don't fully understand it either, if it's any consolation."

"It's not."

The door opened. Oh no.

"Ianto" Jack called "Cory and Rini have offered to make us toast. Isn't that sweet?" the three of them came into the room.

Ianto's cheeks were on fire "Jack…" he began.

"I see we have company, hi Cadfael…Cadfael?" the colour drained from Jack's face "what?" he squeaked.

"What's going on, Tad?" Cory asked "I thought Tad-cu Cadfael was dead."

Ianto took several calming breaths "He got better. Look, Cory, Rini I need you two to go upstairs for a few, okay? Please? Get some rest, it's been a long night."

"But…" Rini began,

Cory took her arm "Come on Rini, do as Tad says" he led her up the stairs.

Jack hadn't moved and his mouth hung open.

"That's a very obedient child you have there," Tad said "looks just like you."

Ianto laughed nervously "He's six going on forty." He laughed again "god, do I want a drink."

"It's not even seven o'clock" Tad said.

Ianto couldn't stop laughing, he believed this man was his father but there was so much to explain to him, the situation was just so not funny it was funny.

"Okay" Tad said "hysteria and shock. I'll make some tea, shall I?"

…

* * *

As Cadfael passed by Harkness he said "And it's Mr Jones to you till further notice" with that he made his way to the kitchen.

How did this happen? What was a 23 year old Ianto doing with a 6 year old son? How did he get involved with Harkness? Who was the little girl? She looked more like Harkness so she was probably his.

But how…? Never mind, Cadfael, just make the tea. He found the kettle and filled it with water and set it on a burner. Now he had to find the tea.

"If you're looking for tea, you won't find any" Ianto had come into the kitchen, calmer but face red "you should know I don't believe in it."

"Oh yes. I was thinking of your Nain Kylia. Is she…?"

"She passed away a few years ago, breast cancer."

"I'm sorry to hear that. She was a lovely woman. Why do you have a kettle then?"

"For cocoa, I don't like using the microwave to heat water. I can make coffee, if you like."

"Sure, yes" Cadfael turned off the burner.

Ianto took the coffee canister out of the cabinet "I think you should wait till we're all together before you explain how you're alive. I know you hate repeating yourself. I'm just glad you're back. I missed you, Tad."

Cadfael pulled him into a hug "I missed you too. I can't believe I missed so much." He released Ianto and looked him over "You've grown and you look exactly like your tad-cu Ifan. That's a shame."

Ianto rolled his eyes "That's what Tad-cu Taliesin said when his spirit told me your soul was in trouble."

Cadfael chuckled "I'm not surprised. But seriously son, you look good. Are those jeans designer?"

"No, just new. I don't fight demons in designer clothes. Happy birthday, Tad, and happy father's day too."

"Is it Father's Day?"

"It is."

"So tell me, how many grandchildren do I have now?"

"Nineteen, twenty if you include Rini and I do and so does everyone else."

Cadfael had to steady himself on the counter, how many grandchildren? "She's, uh, Jack's daughter?"

"Yes."

"You two are serious then?" Cadfael's mind was racing.

"Very. I love him Tad and he loves me. We're getting a civil partnership."

"A what?"

"Gay marriage."

For a moment Cadfael couldn't respond, his youngest child was marrying Jack Harkness? "It, uh, has to be in its own category?"

"Yes, I don't know why."

"That's a bit unfair. But how did you meet him? I told him to stay away…"

"You threatened him and that's the bit I'm not looking forward to telling you. But I may as well get it over with. So long story short, nobody told me I was supposed to stay away from Torchwood, Tad. I ended up joining it in London and when that was destroyed I convinced Jack to hire me, he's the leader now."

"Convinced?" Harkness had clearly gotten passed his shock and entered the kitchen "he stalked me, gave me coffee and wore a suit, how was I supposed to say no? I tried though, I really did but he wore me down."

The look Ianto shot Jack told Cadfael just who was in charge of this relationship. And that pleased him.

…

* * *

Jack withered under Ianto's glare but he held himself "Well it's the truth" he said "that's what happened" he put a hand on Ianto's shoulder "stole my heart while he was at it," he said to Cadfael.

Ianto relaxed somewhat under his touch.

Cadfael eyed Jack cautiously "Have you been through the Interrogation?"

"Yes sir, he has" Ianto said "and he passed with the others."

"Hasn't passed with me yet."

"Tad."

"So, Mr Jones" Jack said "good to see you alive."

"Yes I think so. Some time, Harkness you and I are going to have a long talk."

Jack smiled nervously "I look forward to it."

Ianto took out his mobile "I should call the others."

"That can wait" Jack told him, squeezing his shoulder "why don't you take a shower and change?"

"Are you saying I stink?"

"No, I'm saying you need to relax, you're very tense."

Cadfael sighed "It pains me to say this, but I agree with him, Ianto. It sounds like you've have a long night, please freshen up. Afterwards, I'd very much like to meet these children of yours."

"Very well" Ianto poured himself a coffee "I'll leave you two alone then, shall I? Help yourself to the coffee." He left the kitchen.

Alone? Alone with Cadfael? Jack hadn't thought of that. He gulped.

"Perhaps we can have that conversation now, Harkness."

"How are you alive?" Jack wanted to delay that interrogation for as long as possible.

Cadfael sighed again "That's part of it. Hold on," he held up a finger as the creaking of the stairs could be heard "I've been harping on Kylia to get those fixed, guess nobody's listened."

"Ianto thinks it adds character. He likes to hear when I get home."

The squeaking stopped and Cadfael continued "I knew what was going to happen to me. I enlisted your help."

Jack couldn't believe what he just heard "You what? I don't…"

"Then you must have did what I asked. I told you what was going on, I asked you to ensure I was not autopsied and I asked you to forget about it once done. I know about this pill of yours, I asked you to make yourself forget because my children couldn't know about it."

Jack didn't know what else to say other than "Why not?"

"They had to go into it blind, if they had known, it would have put them in far more danger."

Jack wracked his brain, thinking about the time Cadfael died, there were a couple days he could not remember clearly. "I hope I wrote this down."

"Why?"

"Because Ianto will be pissed off if he thinks I lied to him. An angry Ianto is a scary Ianto. He gets it from Ifan and you."

Cadfael smiled slightly "Do you love my son, Jack?"

"Yes I do. I would die for him if I could. I want so much to grow old with him."

Cadfael's eyes searched his "Does he know about you?"

"He knows everything."

"We still need to talk but I can see you're sincere. Do you need to get changed as well?"

Jack checked the time "Yeah, but I'm faster than Ianto. I'm going to breakfast with my sister and dad this morning."

"Since when do you have a sister and dad?"

"Long story, it involves time travel but my dad is from the 20th century and…"

Cadfael held up a hand "Tell me later, I don't need a headache right now. I should like to meet him, your father."

Cadfael knew Jack was from the future because Ifan had known and Iseult had known.

"Sure" Jack poured a coffee and handed it to Cadfael "We're all going to that party at your house later."

Cadfael took a sip "there's a party at my house?"

Jack poured his own coffee "In honour of Father's Day and your birthday. Your kids love you very much. You did a great job with them."

Cadfael sighed "I'm sure I could have done better."

"Don't sell yourself short. They're all successful and happy and will be even happier now you're back. And they are all very intelligent."

"What does Ianto do at Torchwood?"

"He doesn't anymore. He resigned last month to spend more time with the kids."

"Really?"

"I think he was already considering it but when he found out how you felt about Torchwood and how Kylia felt about it, I think that was the catalyst."

Cadfael smiled "Damn kids, always doing what I say."

"Yeah. Ianto was our archivist mainly, I didn't intend on giving him that job but he volunteered. He also kept things clean without being told and pretty much did everything the rest of us didn't want to."

"I guess that's where he differs from his tad-cu, they are alike."

"Tell me about it" Jack took a drink "glares like Ifan, sounds like Ifan and I went and gave him Ifan's gun."

"Why'd you do that?"

"So he'll have protection when I'm not around. Do you know what the cheeky bugger did the other night?" Jack decided to share this to show Cadfael that he was not the boss in this house "he found Ifan's suits and put one of them on."

"He didn't?"

"Did and I nearly had a heart attack when I saw him. Thought it was Ifan come back to haunt me."

This had Cadfael laughing "I can't believe I'm asking this but he wasn't intending on role playing was he?"

"No, no, I'd told him before if he dressed like Ifan I wouldn't be able to do a damn thing other than cower in fear."

Cadfael was on the floor in laughter and Jack found himself laughing too, the normal tension between them was for the moment anyway gone.

* * *

…

After checking in with the kids and seeing that they were napping, Ianto took a quick shower and shaved. He put on one of his better 3-piece suits and then made his way back downstairs. All in all it took about twenty minutes.

When he got back to the kitchen he felt like he'd entered the Twilight Zone. Jack and Tad were laughing, Jack leaning on the fridge and Tad on the floor. "Cariad, what have you done to my father?"

Jack caught his breath "Only told him that you're the boss of me. He seems to enjoy that."

Tad got a hold of himself and got to his feet "Ianto, you look good. That's a nice suit, red's your colour."

"Thank you, Tad. Jack, if you want to have your shower now."

"Sure" Jack made for the kitchen door.

"I'll be with you in a moment Tad" Ianto followed Jack out and grabbed him, pulling him into a kiss "Happy Father's Day, Jack."

Jack smiled "Happy Father's Day to you too."

"There's a present for you on the bed."

"Is there? I'll open it later when I give you yours, is that all right?"

"Of course. Are you all right, Jack? With Tad being here?"

"Of course. It's not me I'm worried about, Tiger. You had a tough night, will you be all right today? You wanted a drink earlier."

Ianto sighed "Still do but I highly doubt I'll have time to sneak off to find one. And before you ask, yes I took my pills. Now, go take your shower and will you wear one of the suits I made you, I want to show Tad."

Jack kissed him again "I was thinking the same thing" he left the dining room and by the sounds of it bounded up the stairs.

"Did you hear any of that?" Ianto asked when he stepped back into the kitchen "Uncle Iestyn says you like to eavesdrop."

"There's a big difference between like and can't help it. And your uncle Iestyn is a tattle-tale. Why would you need to sneak off for a drink?"

Ianto leaned against the counter "I'm a recovering alcoholic. The pills are for bipolar and hyperthyroid."

"Oh son, are you all right?"

"Sure. I'd better start the calling tree" he pulled out his mobile and called Cadfael Jr., it was required he call the eldest first.

* * *

…

Cadfael couldn't believe this, he leaves them alone for eight years and everything gets weird. Ianto was an alcoholic and bipolar? What problems did the others have?

He watched Ianto as was on his mobile phone.

"Caddy," Ianto said into it after a moment "I'm sorry if I woke you…no, nothing's wrong, everything's great actually…Happy Father's Day to you too, listen…Cadfael, listen. Thank you, what we did last night, we didn't just save Tad's soul, we, sort of, um, saved his life. I'm serious, he's standing in my kitchen right now. Cadfael, I'm bipolar not schizophrenic. I'll put you on speaker" Ianto took the phone away from his ear and pressed a button "can you hear me?"

"Yes Ianto" that was Cadfael Jr.'s voice "now what's going on?"

"Say something Tad" Ianto said.

Cadfael got close to the phone and spoke into it "Hello Junior."

There was a clattering sound as if Caddy had dropped his phone.

"Caddy?" Ianto said "you all right?"

There was a scrambling sound followed by a deep breath "Ifan, have you learned to impersonate Tad?"

"Caddy, I wouldn't lie about this. I'll take a picture and send it to you." Ianto held up his phone, "Smile Tad."

"Are you saying that mobile, which appears to have shrunk by the way, can take pictures?"

"Yes sir" Ianto pressed a button and there was a flash and clicking sound.

"That certainly sounded like something like Tad would say" Caddy muttered.

Ianto pressed another button "There I sent it."

"So not only can mobiles take pictures but they can send them to other phones?" Cadfael asked.

"To other mobiles yes" Ianto said "Would you like some more coffee?"

"All right, here it is" Caddy said over the phone "oh gods. I can't believe it. Tad, is that really you?"

"Yes, son" Cadfael spoke into the phone "I'll explain once we're all together but I am alive."

Caddy took another deep breath "Okay, Ianto, I'll call the older half and you call the younger. We'll meet in the office at uh…"

"8:30 will work" Ianto said.

"That's fine, well we'd best get to calling. We'll see you later, Tad."

Ianto hung up the mobile and then pressed another button. After a moment he said "Gwill," he'd taken the phone off speaker "you may want to come over once, actually just come over since you live right down the street. I have to call the rest of the younger half. Gwillym, please, we're in the kitchen, just come on in." Ianto hung up.

"Gwillym lives nearby?" Cadfael asked.

"Yeah, just four houses down. He'll probably be here before Jack gets out of the shower" Ianto pressed another button "Come on, Rhiannon, answer your damn phone."

Shit, Cadfael remembered he'd been in the middle of making Rhiannon's wedding dress when he "died" "Ianto, how did her wedding turn out?"

"Oh, I finished the dress for her" then he said into the phone "there you are, I don't want to know what you were in the middle of. Listen, thank you. I'm sending you a picture to your phone. You'll want to check it."

At that moment the front door opened and the stairs creaked.

* * *

…

Gwill was worried, what could Ianto possibly want at this hour? Okay, it wasn't terribly early but still…He told Anwen he'd be back in a little bit and as soon as he left the house he found an image sent to his mobile. He opened it and ran to Ianto's. Just as he stepped through the front door he saw Jack coming down the stairs.

Jack smiled "Morning Gwill, I take it Ianto called you."

"What's going on Jack?"

"Apparently what the ten of you did last night woke your father from a Sleeping Beauty-like sleep. He's in the kitchen."

It took a moment for Gwill to remember how to move. What had Jack just said? Only one way to find out, he made his way to the kitchen.

When he got there Ianto was on his mobile to Gavin and there was Tad.

Tad gave him a smile "Bore da, Gwillym."

"Tad?" Gwill said meekly.

"Yes, son it's me."

Gwill broke into a grin "Tad!" he pulled his father into a big bear hug, lifting him off the floor "I can't believe it. This is fantastic!"

Tad patted his back "Yes Gwill, it's good to see you too but do put me down, son. I can't breathe."

"Right sorry" Gwill put him down and released him "why'd you come to Ianto's house?"

"I thought it might still be Kylia's till I got here. It was closest to the cemetery. I wasn't about to walk all the way to my house, now was I?"

Ianto had gotten off the phone with Gavin "And before you say anything, he's fine with Jack" he pressed a button on his phone and after a moment said "Gwenora" into it as he stepped out of the kitchen leaving Gwill and Tad alone.

"So," Tad said "you still a cop?"

Gwill nodded "Detective Inspector now."

"Congratulations, I'm very proud of you. How's Anwen?"

"She's great. We just had our fourth baby."

"Four already? Has your mother-in-law calmed any?"

Gwill arched an eyebrow "You mean my monster-in-law? Anwen's brother is engaged so no, not really, she just keeps most things to herself these days."

"Small favours."

"And I have to hear complaints about that woman from two people" Jack had entered the kitchen "you and Gwen" he said to Gwill.

"Gwen Cooper is Anwen's future sister-in-law and she works with Jack" Gwill explained but Tad was staring in amazement at Jack.

Tad stepped closer to Jack "I say Jack, that is a remarkable suit you have on. Who is your tailor?"

Jack grinned "Ianto made this for me."

Tad walked around Jack like he was checking a car "Ianto made this? It fits you perfectly."

"And get this, he said it wasn't his best work."

At that moment Ianto and the kids came in.

Tad looked at Ianto, eyes filled with pride and pulled him into a hug "I am so proud of you, Ianto."

"Uh, okay, thank you. Why?"

Tad stepped back and indicated Jack's suit "This is remarkable work son."

Ianto blushed with a smile "I learned from the best, sir."

"Now, are you going to introduce me to these beautiful children?"

Ianto nudged Cory forward "Tad, this is my son Corrigan, Cory for short. Cory, your tad-cu Cadfael."

Cory held out his hand "It's a pleasure to meet you, sir. I am very glad you're alive."

Tad shook Cory's hand "And it's a pleasure to meet you too, Cory. I've never met a more polite boy, not even your tad."

"Hey!" Ianto was indignant. Jack and Rini giggled and Gwill just plain guffawed.

Jack cleared his throat "This is my daughter Serena…"

Rini stepped forward and held out her hand "You can call me Rini though, Mr Jones, sir."

Tad shook her hand "Well Rini, since the four of you seem to be quite the happy family, you can call me Tad-cu."

Rini beamed "Really? Thank you" she hugged him.

Tad patted her back "What a delightful little girl."

"Thank you" Jack and Ianto said in unison.

"She gets her charm from her daddy" Ianto said.

"And her accent from her tad," Jack said, "combine the two and you have an unstoppable force of nature. So if you she doesn't have to call you Mr Jones….?"

Cadfael held up a finger "You still have to call me that till further notice."

* * *

…

**So if this were a show, that might be where we go to commercial. Anyway, we'll pick it up in the next chapter. We might just skip ahead to the meeting in the office, we'll see what the muses have to say. But I thought that was a cute place to end this chapter.**

**By the way, there is a song that I might have Ianto perform for Jack at some point, I want you all to look it up, it's called "The Naked Maid" from the fun, fun, fun musical 'Naked Boys Singing'. It's exactly what it says on the tin.**

**Reviews are cookie dough and I do love cookie dough ;)**

**TTFN**


	56. Father's Day pt 2

**I am so sorry, you have no idea how sorry I am for taking so long. I have no valid explanation other than distraction, procrastination and well that's about it really.**

**I was very close to switching 'on hold' to 'cancelled' because I just wasn't feeling it anymore. But I got this amazing review that put spark back in the Not Unbreakable muses.**

**So thank you to Lady Emma Wentworth for giving me the gumption to get working on this story again. This chapter is for you.**

**If all need to refresh your memories of what's happened, instead of re-reading just let me know and I'll put a summary with the next chapter. For now just remember that Ianto and his siblings defeated something and it brought their father back to life.**

**In this chapter, we don't really deal with the demon thing because I wanted it to be a fun chapter. Sorry, no love scene, I thought about it but I had decided to put one in, it would have taken me way longer to get this finished.**

**On with the show.**

**Father's Day Pt. 2**

* * *

Hermes woke that morning to find his mother already in the kitchen making breakfast. "Good morning, Mama. I was gonna make breakfast for Pops."

She smiled at him "I'm making it for you both, happy father's day, son."

"Thanks Mama. Shall I go wake him up?"

"Let's see if he'll get up on his own in the next few minutes. Now, your ribs are still mending; you go on and have a seat in the living room and relax."

Relax wasn't exactly in Hermes's dictionary, he sighed "I'll try." He moved to the living room and flopped into his recliner. He picked up the remote and turned on the TV. Hermes's mobile rang, it was on the side table. He reached for it and answered "Talk to me".

"Hey Hermes, happy father's day."

"Ianto, back at you. What's up?"

"Are you and your parents coming to the party later?"

"Wouldn't miss it."

"We may need your input."

"Oh? What for?"

"My father is alive."

Hermes sat up "You father is what?"

"Apparently defeating the demon in that house brought Tad back to life. The thing is I'm not sure if even he knows how."

"I'll see if I can rustle up some information."

…

* * *

When Ianto hung up with Hermes he went back into the kitchen, checking his watch "Jack, cariad, what time are you meeting Nina and Frank?"

Jack checked his own watch "Soon. I should probably get going."

"All right, we'll take the kids with us to Tad's house and see you there later."

"Sounds like a plan" Jack kissed his cheek.

"I'll go tell Anwen what's up" Gwill said to Ianto "then I'll ride over with you, if that's all right?"

"Fine."

* * *

…

Cadfael, Gwill, Ianto and the kids arrived at the house not long after. It didn't look any different from the outside except the car in the driveway. Ianto had to park along the street, squeezing between a sleek red convertible and a silver sedan, how he managed this without bumping either car, Cadfael didn't know.

"We're not actually the last ones here, are we?" Ianto said scanning the other cars.

"Looks like" Gwill said from the back seat.

"Well if you hadn't taken the time to eat your bacon sandwich…" Ianto started.

"You wouldn't let me eat in the car."

"Last time you left crumbs all over…"

"Boys" Cadfael said sternly "don't start."

"Sorry sir" they chimed in unison.

"Where's my car?" he asked when they got out of Ianto's monster of a SUV.

"Caddy sold it" Ianto said "sold the shop too, something about paying bills."

Cadfael nodded "Makes sense, I did leave quite a few didn't I?"

When they got inside the house, Ianto told Cory and Rini to find their cousins and then the three of them continued to Cadfael's old office. He followed Gwill and Ianto inside where the others were already waiting.

They were all staring at Cadfael just as he was staring at them. He knew who each one was even though eight years had passed.

He looked around the room and then his eyes rested on his eldest child "Seriously Junior, you haven't changed anything in here? Well the computer's new I reckon and what is that?" he saw something in the corner, he went over and pulled it out from behind a plant "This is a cardboard cut-out of me."

Aldwyn whacked Caddy on the shoulder "I told you we should have chucked that in the closet."

Caddy cleared his throat "It's just a little something we have here when we have meetings, helps keep us in line."

Geraint rubbed his forehead "Now he's looking at us all like we're crazy."

"It was your idea."

"Was not. You had it made."

"Because of something you said."

Cadfael sighed "Boys, please. Now, am I going to get a hug from anyone?"

"Tad" Gwenora rushed to him "I'm so glad you're home."

After everyone got a hug, Cadfael looked at them all and said "So what has everyone been up to lately?"

They all looked at each other, clearly wondering who should go first. Cadfael sighed and looked at the clock "Ianto said the party doesn't start till one so we still have plenty of time before the other guests start to arrive." Apparently their spouses and children were already out in the garden.

"Your brothers and sisters will be here too" Caddy said.

Cadfael rolled his eyes "Lovely. Let's start with you Junior. You and Gwendolyn still happy?"

"Yes sir, we are; six kids now."

"Six? You know what causes that don't you?"

The others laughed and Al said "He's trying to keep up with you."

Caddy rolled his eyes but ignored them "I'm head accountant at Russell, Gardner and Davies."

"That's brilliant, son, really. Ianto tells me you sold the shop and my car."

"Yes sir, there were bills to be paid."

"My gambling debts you mean. That's all right son. I'm sorry to have left you in such a lurch. You didn't mortgage the house did you?"

Caddy shook his head "No sir, I knew the family would never allow it."

"Considering it technically still belongs to Nain Bronwyn" Al said.

"How is my mother?" Cadfael asked.

"She has Alzheimer's" Geraint said "we had to move her from the retirement home into a nursing home four years ago."

Cadfael sank into his old chair, he was silent for a moment thinking about his mother.

Ianto cleared his throat "Anyone want any coffee?"

Everyone nodded and he left the room.

Cadfael turned his eyes on Aldwyn "Your turn, Al. You still a lawyer?"

"Oh yes. Stephanie and I have three kids now. I still work at Pertwee, Baker, Davis and McCoy and the scuttlebutt is they're thinking of making me a senior partner. I'm also in training to climb Mount Everest."

"Excellent, excellent. Geraint, you next."

Geraint took a breath, they all knew how to explain what was going on to their father. This was very much like when he asked them about their day over dinner. "Gemma and I have two kids. She's an OBGYN and I'm still in paediatrics but I've added oncology."

"Ah yes, you were talking about that."

"I've gotten everyone to be on the bone marrow donor registry, well almost, Ianto's permanently deferred of course."

Cadfael nodded "Yes, he's been all right in that regard, hasn't he?"

"So far."

"He likes to tell people he's completely cured because of the transplant" Gavin said, arms crossed "seems to forget he's only in remission."

"Denial's hereditary on your mother's side of the family." Cadfael turned to the twins "Edythe, you were born first. How's the swamp rat?"

Edie rolled her eyes "Jean-Paul is fine."

"You were pregnant as I recall?"

"Yes, we had twin girls. I am still a therapist but I work from home now. JP teaches at Cardiff University."

"I'm still an actor" Drystan said "filming a movie here in Cardiff with Robin Chadwick. I'm not married but I have a girlfriend."

Cadfael nodded "Good, both of you."

Ianto came back in the room with a tray of coffee "They're all the same so there's no reason to fight over them. You first, sir" he held the tray out to Cadfael.

He took a mug "Thank you son. I've already talked to Gwillym a bit so Rhiannon, it's your turn."

"Did Gwillym tell you he's been friends with Jack since 2000?" Ianto asked.

"No" Cadfael looked at Gwill.

"It's a long story" Gwill said, sipping his coffee "but essentially, we ran into each other, I recognised him and we chased a purple people eater from Ganymede."

Cadfael blinked "Right then, so Rhiannon. You still with Johnny?"

"Yes and we have two kids. I work part time at Debenhams and Johnny's a mechanic."

"They live on a council estate, Tad" Cadfael said "why'd you sign off on him?"

Rhiannon glared at him "You shut up. Johnny's a good man."

"I like him" Gwill said.

"Johnny is a Welshman" Ianto said "you, Cadfael II, are a snob."

"I am not."

Cadfael rolled his eyes and rubbed his temples "Children, please. Gavin, you're up."

Gavin took a breath "I'm gay."

"I know that."

Gavin blinked "You know that? How did you know? I didn't come out till…"

"I'm your father, I know everything."

"Right, well, my partner and I are getting a civil partnership next month. His name is Christopher Charleson, he's in UNIT and he's American."

"Another yank?"

"Not if you ask him, sir" Gavin said "He's from Georgia."

"Ah, and what do you do for a living Gavin? You were at Uni eight years ago."

"I'm a maths teacher, sort of."

"Sort of?"

Gavin seemed to find an old stain on the floor very interesting "I was fired, sir."

"What for?"

"Drinking on the job. I'm a recovering alcoholic."

Cadfael sighed "I see my youngest boys have a problem with the bottle."

"He was drinking what we were confiscating from Ianto" Gwill said.

Ianto effectively brought the subject away from alcoholism "I'm making Gav and Christopher's tuxes. I'd like your input, Tad."

Cadfael smiled "Of course, son. Gwenora, you were at culinary school weren't you?"

"Yes sir, I work at Wings. My boyfriend's name is Jim Morgan, he's from Boston."

"Now, _he's _a Yank" Gwill said "genuine and bona fide. He's also Boston Irish."

* * *

…

Meanwhile…

Jack drove the Torchwood SUV to pick up Dad and Nina at the Major's house. He really needed to get one of his personal cars out of storage so he could leave the SUV at work. But which car? Easy, the 1948 Silver Streak, it was left hand drive but that didn't really matter as long as he stayed on the right side of the road. Maybe he'd fetch it after breakfast, Dad might appreciate seeing it.

Speaking of Dad, Jack hoped he liked the present he got him. It had been tough to decide what to get, Jack had looked in all sorts of shops, dragging Ianto along with him. Finally Ianto suggested that Jack make something, apparently parents always appreciated that. Jack tried to counter that only worked with little kids but Ianto said it didn't matter as long as the gift was from the heart.

But what to make him then? Ianto told him when he was tired of Jack's asking for advice "People of your father's generation tend to like pictures they can hold." And he shoved different supplies in Jack's hands and left him to figure it out on his own.

Jack really hoped Dad liked it.

It however hadn't been hard to know what to get the Major. Jack pulled up to his grandfather's house and put the small box in his pocket and got out of the car.

He saw Owen's car and a couple others he didn't recognise. What was Owen doing here? Sure, Jack had given anyone with a dad nearby the day off—which left just Jeanie and Tosh in the Hub, but the Rift looked quiet today—but what reason did Owen have to be here, his dad lived with him.

Jack knocked on the door and surprisingly Owen's prattish brother Arthur answered it "Ah Captain Harness, what brings you by?"

Jack rolled his eyes and stepped passed him "It's Harkness, you nitwit and you can call me Jack considering we're cousins."

Owen was in the hallway and he smirked "Don't mind him Jack. How's Ianto?"

Jack sighed "Fine, his father's alive."

"I thought he was dead."

"He got better."

"Did I hear right, sonny?" the Major came from the kitchen "Cadfael Jones, alive?"

"Yeah, it's a long story. Happy Father's Day, Grandpa" Jack handed him the small box.

"Why thank you Jackie boy."

Owen's other two brothers, his dad, Nina, Nancy and Dad also entered the living room.

Jack grinned "Happy Father's Day, Dad," he hugged him.

Dad patted his back, "To you too, son."

"What'd you got there, Ted?" Jamie asked.

"Present from Jack" the Major opened it up and his eyes immediately misted "I thought I lost this" he looked up at Jack "still in its case too; how'd you find it?"

"I've actually had it in my possession for a few years now, I saw it in an antique shop. I was wondering what it was doing all the way over here, figured someone had lost it so I bought it. Ianto was the one who found your name when he was cleaning it. I've been meaning to give it back to you, thought today would be good."

"Thank you, Jack" the Major pulled him into a hug.

"You're welcome, sir."

"What is it Dad?" Dad asked.

The Major stepped back and showed everyone what was in the box "It's my Bronze Star."

* * *

…

"Dad never told us he got a medal" Frank said once he, Jack and Nina were in Jack's SUV "I guess because he didn't have it as proof."

Jack shrugged as he started the car "Some people just don't like to talk about it. After breakfast, I'd like to pick up my Silver Streak from storage, if that's all right with you both."

"Sure" Nina said from the back "what's a Silver Streak?"

Frank grinned "Fine by me, I've got one myself back home."

"Really?" Jack said "what colour is yours?"

"Police cruiser black."

"Mine too."

"What's a Silver Streak?" Nina repeated.

"Classic car" Frank and Jack said.

"I'm telling you though" Jack said "Ianto has no appreciation for classic cars, the other day on TV we saw this gorgeous '58 Chevy Bel Air. I was drooling over it, saying how awesome it was and all Ianto said was 'It's a nice shade of red."

"Are you serious?" Frank shook his head with a sigh "sounds like you need to school that boy."

"No kidding."

…

The three of them ate breakfast at a place near Mermaid Quay and halfway through it, Jack and Nina presented Frank with their presents. First they gave him a 'From the both of us' Father's Day card that they had both signed.

Nina's present was a bedside clock with a picture of twelve year old Nina and six year old Jack on the face.

Frank smiled "This is wonderful sweetheart, I was hoping for something like this. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Dad" she beamed "I'm glad you like it."

Jack looked at her "Did you by any chance ask Ianto for advice?"

"No, I asked Drystan."

Jack handed Frank a small box "My gift isn't as flash as Nina's but I hope you like it all the same. See I didn't know what to get you so…" he trailed off as Frank opened the box.

Inside was by all appearances a simple leather wallet.

"I know you already have one" Jack said "but it's not the right one. Open it."

Frank did so and inside was an accordion picture holder already filled with pictures of Nick, Cory and Rini. Frank grinned "You got me a proud grandpa wallet, thank you son."

"I have to admit, Ianto helped me out, well a lot so consider it from both of us. I left some empty spaces for future additions."

Frank was sitting between Jack and Nina in the booth and he put his arms around them both "I love both your presents, thank you."

* * *

…

"Well" Cadfael clapped his hands "time to see your various and assorted spouses and my grandchildren. I'd like to get that done before your aunts and uncles get here."

Caddy nodded "Sure but shouldn't we discuss what happened to you?"

"Later, Junior, I'd rather enjoy myself today."

"I think that makes sense" Ianto said, taking Cadfael's arm "Jack and Nina won't be here till later though."

"Jim's not here yet either" Gwenora said.

"And Anwen just pulled up" Gwill said looking at his mobile "I gotta go help her unload the kids." He left the office.

Everyone else went out to the back garden where Caddy immediately shouted "Line up!"

The garden was larger than others on the block, even in the neighbourhood. Some thirty years back it had become apparent that the family would need a larger garden for family gatherings. The house behind them had been condemned so Cadfael's father had bought it and levelled it to enlarge the garden.

"Slight correction, Tad" Ianto said "I said you had twenty grandchildren, including Rini, well I forgot about Gwill's latest so it's twenty-one."

Gwill and who Cadfael recognised as Anwen walked through the back gate, two small children at their feet, a girl no more than two in Gwill's arms and a baby no more than two weeks in Anwen's.

"Line 'em up, Gwill" Caddy told him.

Cadfael looked around the garden and saw Gavin in a corner standing by another man who was on a mobile and didn't look very happy about it. Cadfael inched his way closer—Joneses were known for their curiosity after all.

The man on the phone had a strong Southern US accent "No Mama, I don't want to talk to him, please don't wake him up. I'm sorry I forgot the time difference. What were you doing up? Isn't it only not even five? Oh, okay. No, Mama go back to sleep. Just tell him I said Happy Father's Day, not that he'll care." He sighed heavily "Listen Mama, I gotta go. I love you too" he hung up and shoved the phone in his pocket.

Cadfael pretended that he was looking at the climbing roses on the fence.

Gavin sighed "Seriously Tad? I guess we know were Drystan gets his proclivity for eavesdropping from."

Cadfael smiled at him innocently "I don't know what you're talking about, son. I was just admiring the foliage."

The Southern Yankee, who Cadfael assumed to be Christopher was staring at him with, was that fear? Ah, good then Cadfael's reputation had preceded him.

Gavin nudged Christopher, "Go stand with the others, Cariad."

Christopher nodded dumbly and moved towards the other spouses.

Another man came through the back gate who Gwenora immediately ran up to.

"Sorry I'm late, babe" He kissed her and he had a Boston accent "I called my Dad and after he yelled at me for calling so early, he talked my ear off about the most recent Sox game."

"That's okay, luv. Go stand with the others" Gwenora pointed to the spouses.

"Okay" he didn't even question her. Excellent, she already had him trained.

That's my girl, Cadfael thought.

"All right Tad" Caddy called to him "everyone's lined up."

Cadfael first stood in front of the row of four wives, two husbands, one partner and one boyfriend. They stood in chronological order of the age of their respected Jones partners and that is how Cadfael greeted them. He hugged his three eldest daughters-in-law and then stood in front of his first son-in-law.

Jean-Paul tugged at his shirt collar and wiped at his brow.

"Hello, Swamp Rat" Cadfael greeted cordially.

"Hello, suh" JP nodded "Ianto, when the hell is Jack gonna get here?"

Ianto smirked "Why? He's just gonna hide behind you."

Cadfael bit back a chuckle and held his hand out to JP "How are you, JP?"

JP shook his hand "Jus' fine, suh. It's good to see you alive and all."

"Yes, I think so."

Next in line was Anwen—Gwill had taken the baby. Cadfael hugged her "Congratulations, Anwen. How are your parents?"

"The same, sir."

"I'm sorry to hear that." He moved to the next person in line "Hello Johnny."

Johnny nodded nervously "Mr Jones, sir. Nice to see you."

"Yes, get out of that council estate will you." Cadfael moved on to the next person in line "You must be Christopher."

Christopher nodded "Yes sir. It's mighty nice to meet you, sir."

"Indeed, you and I will have to have a private talk later on. Tell me though have you been through the Interrogation?"

Christopher swallowed "Yes sir and if it's all the same I'd rather not go through it again."

Cadfael chuckled "Gavin's brothers and uncles gave you a hard time, did they?"

"Of course we did" Ianto said "Christopher and Jack used to see each other."

"Oh?" Cadfael arched an eyebrow "Well that is awkward." He moved on to the next one "Jim, I take it?"

Jim nodded "Yes Mr Jones, sir. Jim Morgan, sir."

"You're from Boston, I understand?"

"That's right sir."

"And what do you do?"

"Well sir, to be honest I'm living off an allowance my father gives me right now. But I have a Masters in History from Harvard."

Cadfael smiled slightly "I do appreciate honesty. Harvard, eh?"

"Yes, sir Summa Cum Laude."

"Very nice" Cadfael then moved on to the row of grandchildren. One of his children stood behind each set. First up were Caddy's kids. He'd remembered only the two eldest, Cadfael III and Devin, now 15 and 14 respectively. The other four were born since he "died"; Kara, age 8, Fiona, age 6, Ioan, age 3 and Afon, age 8 months.

Next up were Aldwyn's kids, Briana, age 8, Aldwyn Jr., age 4 and one year old Cassandra.

Geraint had an eight year old son and a five year old daughter, Angus and Donella.

Edythe's seven year old identical twins were Claudette and Ceinwen.

Gwill's brood consisted of only one boy and three girls; six year old Arthur, four year old Arianrhod, two year old Tara and brand new baby Briallen.

Five year old David and three year old Mica belonged to Rhiannon.

And of course Cadfael had already met Ianto's six year olds.

Twenty-one grandchildren, good heavens. Cadfael took a breath and looked at them all "I apologise in advance if I forget your names and whom you belong to. It may take me awhile to learn them."

"That's okay, Tad-cu Cadfael" Caddy 3 spoke for everyone, which made sense as he was the eldest "we made you a present while you were in the office."

"Oh you kids didn't have to do that."

"But every other daddy's gonna get presents today" Rini said "we want you to have one too."

"Especially since it's your birthday as well" Cory said.

"But it's still drying" Devin said "so, can we give it to you a bit later?"

Wondering what it could be, Cadfael nodded "Of course, of course. Why don't we wait till everyone's here, so everyone can see it?"

"Uncle Dylan said he'd be here early" Gavin said "but the others won't be till closer to one."

Cadfael nodded "Dylan has always been chronically early. He was born more than a month early, you know. He come out of the closet yet?"

"You knew about him too?"

"Of course I did, I know everything." He was glad Dylan would get here before their other siblings, he wanted to talk to him. When last they saw each other, Dylan had been addicted to heroin and Cadfael had yelled at him—they hadn't parted on the best of terms.

A cowboy walked through the back gate, he was wearing blue jeans, a crisp white shirt, jean jacket, white snakeskin cowboy boots and a white Stinson. On his arm was Dylan. He looked a little tired but not strung out like the last time they'd seen each other.

Caddy went over to him "Uncle Dylan, look who's here."

Dylan saw him, yelped and leapt into the cowboy's arms.

Cadfael smirked "Good to see you too, baby brother."

"But, but how?" Dylan stammered.

"Apparently, we brought him back to life" Caddy said.

"Oh" Dylan got back on the ground "okay then."

Cadfael approached him and couldn't help but notice he was wearing short sleeves and there wasn't a single mark on his arms. "You're looking much better, Dylan Thomas Jones, I'm pleased. Who's the cowboy?"

"Ah, uh, right" Dylan took a breath "Cadfael, this is my partner Douglas Samuels. Doug, my eldest brother, Cadfael."

"Sure have heard a lot of nice things about you" Doug held out his hand.

Cadfael shook it "Are you an actual gay cowboy?"

"Well I ain't a member of the Village People."

Dylan sighed "Cadfael…"

"You're absolutely right, Dylan, I would like to speak with you but first…I just realised I am still in my burial clothes. Ianto, please tell me that suit bag I saw you put in your car contained one of mine."

Ianto smiled "Absolutely sir. Caddy gave me all your clothes he didn't give to charity."

Caddy rolled his eyes.

* * *

…

Around noon, Ianto got a text from Jack saying he was finally on his way. He had needed to run a couple errands after breakfast. Hmm, breakfast, what a novel concept, Ianto hadn't had any yet. And he didn't have much of a dinner the night before either. Had he taken his pills yet? That was a good question. He didn't think he had, there was just so much going on. Oh well, he'd remember tomorrow.

The doorbell rang, as Ianto was in the kitchen for some water, he went up to the front of the house to answer it.

"Happy Father's Day, Ianto" Hermes grinned.

"And to you, didn't we cover that over the phone this morning?"

"Phones are so impersonal" Hermes kissed his cheek "I know you said to just come on through the back gate but Mama insisted, since I'm the only one who knows all of you."

"That's fine, Maia, Methos, I'm glad you could make it. Come on in" he stepped aside and once the three of them were inside he closed the door.

Maia gave him a hug "Happy Father's Day, Ianto."

"Thank you. Methos, Happy Father's Day."

Methos nodded "Back at you. Parking was a hassle."

"Methos" Maia warned.

"Pops" Hermes said.

Ianto laughed "Yeah, sorry about that, most everyone who's going to here is already here. That's a Jones family function for you."

"Well at least it's a nice neighbourhood" Methos said "unlike someone's" he looked pointedly at Hermes.

Ianto bit his lip to hide his smirk "Come on to the back, we're just setting up. Keeping the food inside till everyone's here though. You know, here's an interesting fact, Peter Wingfield was born in Splott." He led them through the front hall.

Methos sighed "So I've heard but I am not Peter Wingfield."

"We watched some Highlander yesterday, the extended versions of Comes a Horseman and Revelation 6:8" Hermes said.

"By the way, the character of Methos doesn't always drink alcohol. I'm pretty sure that was water in that flashback."

Hermes rolled his eyes "Please why would Cassandra cool _water_ in the _river_? It was some kind of fermented beverage."

"Maybe it was a stew and she cooled it because they were in a desert" Ianto suggested.

"You are not supposed to take his side."

"By the way" Methos said again "what river? They were in a desert. Besides that are you sure she didn't say caught it in the river?"

Maia rubbed her head "Boys, please."

"I cannot tell you how many times I've said that today" Ianto's father had come out of the kitchen, glass of Stephanie's American lemonade in his hand. "Ianto, you're Uncle Dylan is avoiding me."

"Well maybe talk to him later in the week, you did just wake up."

"Yes, I suppose so. You going to introduce me?"

"Yes sir, this is Hermes and his parents, Methos and Maia. I told you about them."

"Considering that was only this morning I haven't forgotten yet, boy. I may be sixty today but I still have the body of a 52 year old, I haven't gone senile yet."

Methos covered his mouth and his shoulders were shaking.

Ianto sighed, "Sorry Tad."

…

Ianto's uncle Iestyn and aunt Llewella arrived with their families—more or less a few minutes later. Uncle Bob froze when he saw Tad and made to clutch at Llewella but she had moved towards Tad so he ended up doing a fine Mime impression.

Tad hugged Llewella and Iestyn after Caddy explained the situation to them and then said "No wife today, Iestyn?"

Uncle Iestyn sighed "Margie and I got divorced five years ago."

"Oh sorry to hear that. And your brats?"

Uncle Iestyn rolled his eyes "I've missed you Cadfael, I really have. This is good, now you can be patriarch again. Anyway, Mark is in the Royal Marines and Bella's at Uni in Lampeter."

"Ah, now Llewella…"

Uncle Bob meanwhile had moved over to Jean-Paul and was whispering frantically.

"How's your tad alive Ianto?" his cousin Samantha, Llewella's youngest daughter asked him.

"Long story," Ianto replied "How's Dan? I see he's not here."

"You mean our idiot brother?" Samantha's younger brother Louis said "don't get us started."

"Really don't" Samantha said "Dad's in denial about it."

"No wonder Ifan gave you his blessing, Ca—uh, Mr Jones" Jack was standing just inside the gate and he indicated Bob, JP and Johnny "you scare everyone, just like he did." Frank and Nina were with him.

Nina moved over to Drystan and Ianto went over to Jack "Don't poke the bear, Cariad" Ianto told him.

Frank sighed and shook his head. He shook Ianto's hand "How ya doing Ianto?"

"I'm good. Happy Father's Day, Frank."

"Happy Father's Day to you too. I understand you had something to do with my new wallet."

"Oh I just gave Jack a little nudge."

"You gave me the wallet and pictures" Jack kissed his cheek.

"You would have thought of it eventually."

Tad came up to them "I just met your sister, Jack. She's lovely but I reckon I should give that compliment to you" he said to Frank and held out his hand "I'm Cadfael Jones Sr."

Frank shook the offered hand "Nice to meet you, name's Franklin Jackson Sr."

"Senior?"

"Yep, this one's" He lightly whacked Jack's arm "real name is Franklin Jackson Jr."

"How about that. Well it certainly is a pleasure to meet you Mr Jackson."

"Oh please call me Frank."

"Then call me Cadfael."

"He gets to call you Cadfael?" Jack said "I've been calling you Cadfael since before you and Iseult got married and now I have to call you Mr Jones just because I'm in love with your son? How does that even make sense?"

Ianto put a hand on Jack's arm "Don't make me say it, Jack."

Frank chuckled "I think it makes perfect sense, Junior."

Jack cringed and sighed "You would." He pulled an envelope out of his jacket and handed it to Cadfael "Happy Father's Day."

"What's this?"

"If any outsiders ask, you've been in witness relocation for the past eight years."

Ianto pulled Jack into a hug "So that's the errand you had to run? Good thinking Cariad."

"Somebody would have thought about it sooner or later."

"Well I'm glad you did."

"Thank you, Jack" Cadfael said "I appreciate it. I'll let you know if you can call me Cadfael by the end of the day."

* * *

…

Ianto's Uncle Berwyn and Aunt Bronwyn, with her husband Clark and a couple of their kids finally arrived and the food was set out. Jack stuffed a couple of Welsh cakes in his mouth.

"Go easy on those" Ianto said eating a couple himself "we're having barbecue in a bit."

"What's your excuse?"

"I didn't eat breakfast. You did."

"I'm sorry."

"Forgot to take my pills too, please make sure I remember tomorrow."

"Don't worry, I will. So, your uncle Clark is black?"

"Yeah, didn't you know that?"

"Well it explains why JP said Clark wasn't of European descent. What was that weird handshake thing you did with the younger black guy?"

Ianto sighed "His name is Jasper and he's my cousin."

"Are you going to explain the handshake or is it something only you young hooligans can understand?"

Ianto rolled his eyes "You know I was thinking about that actually. If your dad hadn't been taken by the Rift and you had still been born, you might be close to my age, depending on when he wanted to start having kids."

Jack thought about it "Could be, could be."

"Oh hey there you are, this place is packed" it was Nick.

"Nick," Jack said "I thought you were visiting your mom."

"I am but I wanted to spend Father's Day with you so I had DJ bring me back for the day." Sure enough his time lord boyfriend was right next to him "So, Happy Father's Day Dad."

Jack hugged him "Thank you son, this means a lot."

"Speaking of fathers," DJ said pulling out his mobile "I'd better call mine" he pressed a button, put it to his ear and after a moment said "Happy Father's Day, Dad" he walked off.

…

The grandchildren of Cadfael presented him with a poster board with all their handprints and names on it. Most of the names were written by the children themselves but the ones who couldn't write yet were helped.

Cadfael smiled when he received it "Thank you, this is the best present a grandfather could get."

Jack's dad got ceramic handprints from Rini and Cory. Cadfael's present may not have been as flash but it was put together last minute—he had such thoughtful grandchildren.

Jack and Ianto both got coffee mugs with Cory and Rini's pictures on them and Ianto got all his brothers gift cards to their favourite shops. He even got Jack's dad a gift card to Home Depot. Jack lost track of any other presents passed around.

* * *

…

Somehow Jack found himself in Cadfael's office with, Doug, Christopher and Jim waiting for Cadfael Sr.

"So, Jim" Jack said "You and my son seem to know each other."

"We grew up in the same neighbourhood, went to the same high school. I'm a couple years older than him though. Had no idea he was into guys."

"Neither did he till he met DJ."

"Should I even be here? I haven't asked Gwenora to marry me yet."

"JP had to endure an interview before he asked for Edythe's hand" Christopher pointed out.

Jack groaned "I hope Cadfael doesn't bring us instant coffee."

"Does Cadfael Jr. even have instant coffee in this house?" Doug asked.

"By the way, Doug" Jack said "you are so lucky Taliesin's dead."

"So Bob told me."

"My God, did you see that look the Marine gave us when we were told to wait in here?" Christopher asked.

"Gotta be that 'Good luck brother' look Bob told us about" Jack said.

The office door opened and Cadfael walked in "I'm really touched you know" he said "all my children want me to live with them and they're arguing about who gets me. Junior tried to give this house back but he and his wife and six kids are settled and I don't want them to have to move and there isn't any extra room for me so the others are fighting."

Jack thought about it "Ianto and I are the only ones with an extra room."

"Yes that's what he pointed out so that's likely where I'll go" he stood in front of them "I'll talk to you all separately eventually of course but not today. That would take too long so this is just a quick interview with the four of you."

"Yeah, but we've met before" Jack said "In fact the last time I was in this office, you dislocated my jaw."

Cadfael smiled "Yes I remember. Well, all right Jack and since I'm going to be living with you, you can go."

Jack shot up from his chair "Thank you Mr Jones" he made for the door.

"One more thing Jack, you can call me Cadfael."

* * *

…

"We haven't found out anything yet" Hermes told Ianto "Pops has been trying to get a hold of Arawen but so far no dice."

"That's all right," Ianto said "Tad doesn't want to talk about it today anyway. Though my reckoning is that he traded himself for us to the demon, somehow set a specific date to get his affairs in order and didn't tell us that the ten of us were the only ones who could save him."

"Well, I imagine that's the Cliff Notes version. Don't worry, Ianto, it may take a while but we'll sort it."

"Yeah, all that matters is that he's home."

* * *

….

Later that night…

Cadfael was settled in the spare room/sewing room (which he didn't seem to mind at all) and the kids were in bed. Jack and Ianto were alone in their room.

"My present first" Ianto handed Jack a box that was roughly a foot long and wrapped neatly in shiny paper.

Jack tore the wrapping paper off, much to Ianto's chagrin and opened it. "A feather duster?"

"Uh huh, look again in the box."

Jack did "A feather duster and a blind fold? Okay, I'm confused."

Ianto kissed him "The feather duster is a clue. Please put on the blind fold while I prepare for your actual present."

"Okay" intrigued Jack did as he was told. Actual present, eh? He heard Ianto rustling about the room.

"See," Ianto said "I thought about getting you something tangible, even useful but for our fist Father's Day together I wanted to do something special for you. You can take it off now."

Jack did and Ianto was completely naked except for a pair of rubber gloves and holding the feather duster.

"What are you going to do?" Jack asked, already hard and truthfully not really caring what Ianto was going to do because whatever it was, it was sure to be good.

Ianto pressed play on the stereo and began to dance and sing-a-long to a song from one of Jack's favourite modern musicals. The song was The Naked Maid from Naked Boys Singing.

By the time Ianto was to "Making sure your buttocks stick out, waiting for the sheets to fold and fluff", Jack had taken off his own clothes was willing himself to wait till the end of the damn song. But then he remembered he still had to give Ianto his present. Oh that could wait till after.

As soon as the song ended, Jack rushed at Ianto and tackled him to the bed.

…

"Now" Jack said as he caught his breath "time for your present. It's not exactly tangible either but I sure hope it's useful."

"What is it?" now Ianto was intrigued.

"You my dear, have been working too hard lately, so I am going to give you a full body massage."

…

Later as they lie in bed fully satiated and fully relaxed, Jack said "Did you have a good day?"

"Oh yes. Are you okay with Tad staying with us?"

Jack kissed him "Of course I am, Tiger. Now, all we have to do is find your mother."

* * *

…

_Next time on Not Unbreakable…_

_Owen had hobbled back to the SUV to treat his skinned knee and make sure his shoelaces were good and tied. He had heard Jack talk to Tosh over the comms and then there was a screeching sound as if Jack had dropped his ear piece on the ground._

"_Did you hear that Owen?" came Tosh's voice._

"_Yeah, I did."_

"_What was it?"_

"_No idea, I'm back at the SUV. Tripped over a branch" he lied. "Jack" he tried on the comms "Hermes?" There wasn't an answer. "Tosh, they still by that Rift opening site?"_

"_According to their mobiles."_

"_Okay, I'll go take a look." As he neared the site he heard what sounded like crying, baby crying. When he rounded the corner he saw two babies, no more than 18 months tangled up in Jack and Hermes's clothes. "Oh my God."_

**Curious? I hope so. **

**Again I am so sorry that it took me this long to update. Please review, reviews are food for the muses. I can't promise regular updates but I do promise I will not take another almost a year.**

**TTFN**

**Oh and I'm working on the next chapter of "Immortality: Greatest Gift or Greatest Curse?" if you're interested. **

…


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